Familiar Love (Pigeon and Rin)

[♠[Rin]♠]

A sigh passed the smaller one's lips. He didn't know what it was like being a father, let alone having something else than a cat to care for. So he couldn't tell Lan to stop doing everything for his son, but he could do this one thing: "You're an idiot." Ah, idiot had once almost been a nickname, really. "But fine. You pay for your things. However, don't overdo it. And I swear to God, Lan, if you move into a half-destroyed apartment with your son, I will kill you."

 

Yukio might be sarcastic and cold, but he was also slightly scary if he wanted to. He didn't know how much Lan got, let along how much he already had if he was so eager to get an apartment. "Besides. As soon as you find an apartment, you need to pay two rents at first. Then you have to wait for the lease contract to be finished entirely. Sign it. Move in. You'll need not only need money for the rent then and for food, but for clothes and hygiene products. Plus, your son deserves to get an own room. He will need furniture as well. And when you have that finished, you are ready to spare money for his education."

 

The dark haired male turned entirely to Lan and set his hands onto his hips. He was just worried, actually. It was a lot to take for a single parent. Simple.

[Kotorichan]

Lan couldn't hide the stress building up with every word Yukio said. It was all true. Even though Caleb was scared to be alone now that would change as he started to relax. The little boy really needed new clothes if he was going to go to start some kind of daycare soon. And furniture was going to be a nightmare. There were some things that he could get used like a table, chairs, and even a bed frame. But a mattress would be expensive and even if Lan didn't mind sleeping in a sleeping bag for a few months he needed to get one for Caleb.

 

He put down the rest of the food on the counter, the stress making him lose all appetite. "I know... But he needs his own home too" he couldn't bring himself to look at Yukio. "He needs to know that we're not gonna get kicked out of the place we're staying again"

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio studied his ex-lover for a while, before crossing his arms in a somewhat insecure way. "Stop worrying for now. I guess you need some sleep, too. You've been travelling, after all." And he was no one to guess for how long or since when. "Extra blankets are in the lower drawer of the dresser in the bedroom. I'll need to finish some work before going to sleep myself. Just tell me when you need something."

 

The raven took a step forward to Lan, decreasing the distance between them. "You'll make it, okay? You're not alone."

[Kotorichan]

"How can you say that...?" Lan looked up at him, trying to hide his sadness. "Even if I didn't want to I ended up hurting you so much... And now you're making it sound like you're already willing to forgive me and let me stay as long as I need to."

 

He looked away again and rubbed his eyes. "I mean... Fuck I didn't even come here first, I was so scared of how you'd react. You're literally the last person I can turn to, I'm so pathetic." He was so exhausted he couldn't even think straight. "I know I shouldn't get you involved in this, I don't wanna hurt you anymore Yukio..." Lan shut his eyes for a moment, trying to hold back tears. "I'm sorry, I still love you so much but I don't want to hurt you..." He couldn't stop talking, he hadn't been able to talk to anyone like this in so long.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio being Yukio tilted his head a little, not much emotion visible in his crimson eyes. He listened to the other's words, being a somewhat quite person himself anyway, before he narrowed his eyebrows a little. "Lan.." This really not the time to talk about something like love. "Don't worry, I don't want you to hurt me as well. However..."

 

He sighed, lifting one hand up to stroke some strands of his ebony hair behind his ear. Lan was stressed and it seemed like he was also sad and nothing worked. "Don't grow desperate," Yukio tried to comfort him - what really wasn't comforting at all. But he tried, at least placing a hand on Lan's upper arm. "Hey. Look me in the eye, Lan. It wasn't your fault. You hear me? If you want to talk, let's at least go to the bedroom." He didn't want Caleb to hear them. Kids owned a perfect sense of hearing. And his bedroom was the only not 100 per-cent weird place that owned a door.

[Kotorichan]

Lan shut his eyes and forced himself to breath. "I'm sorry... I'm just so f- so exhausted... We took an overnight bus to get to the area so I didn't really sleep last night" He rubbed his eyes. "It'd probably be better to talk when i can actually think straight and won't just burst into tears..." He laughed softly.

 

In truth he just didn't want to hear anything that would make him completely break down. He had to be there for Caleb, if he gave into his emotions then he couldn't protect his son. "I'm really sorry Yukio, I shouldn't have tried to unload on you..." He forced a smile and turned away. "Um... should I put this back in the fridge?" Lan gestured towards the sushi he hadn't finished. "Also... Is there anything I could give Caleb to eat if he wakes up...?"

[♠[Rin]♠]

The smaller one lifted his eyebrows before he once again crossed his arms in front of his chest. This time in a displeased manner. Fine. Be my guest.

 

"Yes. And look through the fridge. In the lower drawers are vegetables and fruits. I don't have any lactose free products, though, if he needs that." Yukio turned around. "Wash the dishes and silverware afterwards," he added, before leaving the kitchen. Geez.

Making his way to the other side of the living room, he sat at the table in front of a laptop and turned it on, surrounded by some books and papers. Well... the day was still only half over. His guests better got some rest while he worked.

[Kotorichan]

"Wait..." Lan lowered his voice as he walked into the living room. "Yukio, we can talk now if you want... I just don't wanna say stupid stuff because I'm so tir-" He cut himself off as Caleb stirred.

 

The boy slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Daddy...?" His stomach growled, he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Lan immediately went to his son's side and couched down, pulling him into a gentle hug. "I'm right here Caleb... Let's get you something to eat" He picked up the little boy and kissed his forehead. He glanced over at Yukio, unsure if he should say something.

 

"I... I guess we'll have to talk later..." He said uncertainly before going into the kitchen to find some food.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio only shot a glance at Lan when mentioned man had already looked away. He was good at being sore, that was for sure. Also, he was a sore loser. On top of that, he was passionate. So a calm personality like Lan had always done good to him, to be honest.

___________________________________

 

The night passed without any troubles. As promised, Yukio just slept on the couch, curled up with some older bed sheets and a pillow. The couch would be too small for Lan plus a kid, so it was the best.

The raven awoke around 10 am, sat up and stretched. The curtains were still closed but outside the sunlight was fighting its way through the windows to shine into the apartment. Dressed in a black pullover and grey sweatpants, Yukio dragged himself into the bathroom to brush his teeth, wash his face and crewed out(?) his hair. Afterwards he vanished into the kitchen and looked through the fridge. Uhm... he did have cereal somewhere. What did small kids eat?

 

He was literally clueless.

[Kotorichan]

Lan had woken up around 7am to start working. He just sat in the bedroom while Caleb continued to sleep. The boy woke up a little after 10am and Lan put aside his work. "Good morning Caleb..." He kissed the top of his son's head. "Did you sleep okay?

Caleb nodded sleepily and clung to Lan's shirt. "I'm hungry..."

"Okay, let's have some breakfast and then get you a bath..." Lan scooped up the boy in his arms and carried him towards the kitchen. They had both had been too tired to take a shower the previous night, but they definitely needed one now.

He smiled slightly when he saw Yukio in the kitchen. "Good morning..."

[♠[Rin]♠]

Being still the easy-to-scare type of person, Yukio died a little inside and flinched when Lan's greeting hit him. With a sigh to calm himself, he leaned up and closed the fridge. "Good morning." Lazily, the raven pushed his hands into his sweatpants' pockets. "What would you like to have for breakfast?" he asked, first looking at Lan and then at Caleb. "I have cereal, fruits, bread which you can have with butter and honey or jam, aaaand.." Yukio looked up, shifting his weight onto his left leg. "I think also waffles..." His glance went back to the duo. "Milk, coffee, tea and apple juice are here for drinking. Your choice."

 

After all these years, still as straight-forward without the need of a smile or a friendly tone in his voice.

[Kotorichan]

Lan frowned slightly when he noticed the other man flinch. So he was still easy to startle... "I'd love some coffee and cereal... What about you Caleb?"

Caleb was staring at Yukio with wide eyes, clearly afraid of the man's lack of a smile or friendly tone of voice.

"Hey... Don't stare like that, Yukio's not a scary person..." Lan tried not to show how sad it made him to see his son afraid of the man he loved. "Would you like a waffle and some milk?"

Caleb finally looked away from Yukio and hid his face in Lan's shirt. He gave a slight nod but remained silent.

[♠[Rin]♠]

And thaaaat was the reason why he had never started a social job... Children seemed to really detest him at some point even.

"..Alright. Could you please lay the table?" Yukio then said to keep the conversation going. He got the milk and the batter for the waffles out of the fridge and then searched for the cereal. After a few minutes, he found them, setting the box next to the milk. Then he tiptoed to open the cupboard above him in order to fish out a bowl and place it near the cereals.

The waffles didn't take that long as well. He produced two medium ones, before turning around to ask the kid: "Would you like some fruits as side dish? Or jam? Whipped cream?"

[Kotorichan]

Lan sat the boy in a chair before going to help Yukio set the table. "Have you already eaten?" He asked the man.

Caleb whimpered softly as he was asked about toppings.

"Caleb..." Lan crouched down and took the boy's hands. "Yukio's a nice person... He's not gonna yell at you or be mean..." He spoke softly, trying to hide the pain in his voice. "You can tell him what you want to eat okay..?" He knew that Caleb was scared of Yukio treating him the way Jessica had... The boy was used to getting yelled at for the smallest mistake.

"I... Can I have... Jam..?" Caleb finally asked in almost a whisper. He was holding Lan's hands as tightly as he could, his small body trembling.

"Of course you can..." Lan pulled his son into a tight hug. "Good job"

[♠[Rin]♠]

"No. I stopped having breakfast some years ago."

 

Yukio watched closely how Lan spoke to is son. Eh... well, yeah. That soft tone in his voice was enjoyable and all and Yukio himself loved it but he wasn't able to talking like that. It seemed... strange, even.

 

"Jam it is. I have strawberry and blueberry. Lan will take out what you like," Yukio said, walking over to the table, balancing all four things; setting the dish down in front of Caleb, the glass of milk to his left and then the two jam glasses on the right side. Afterwards he added a some silverware. "Enjoy your meal." He guessed Lan would cut the waffles for his son and put the jam on it.... Or was the four year old kid capable eating by himself with silverware? Had it been right to offer him a knife?

 

Shrugging to himself, Yukio glanced at Lan. "Write down on a paper what you need. We'll go shopping later. And afterwards I will show you where the playground is," he told his ex-lover and walked over to the fridge once more to get some apple juice and fill a glass for himself.

[Kotorichan]

"Thank you," Lan smiled up at him, he was clearly still tired. He was always tired these days. He spread the blueberry jam on the waffles and cut it up into bite sized pieces before handing the fork to Caleb. His son could cut up his food but he would always end up making a mess.

 

"Okay, thank you" Lan began to eat, keeping an eye on Caleb as he did. "Is it okay if we use your shower after breakfast?"

 

Caleb ate carefully but still got jam all over his face. Even though he was silent it was still obvious that he was very happy with his food.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"You're welcome." Yukio lifted the glass up and took a sip before he walked over and took a seat next to Lan. His eyes moved down to his wrist but he hadn't put on his watch yet. With a sigh, he lifted his glance again and leaned back in the chair. He was no morning person, nope.

 

"Sure you can. And don't slip," the raven answered, turning his head to look at his ex-lover. "Since we'll buy some things anyway, use as much of the shampoo and the like as you wish." Nah, he wasn't possessive or something. Nor was Yukio mischievous. Though, he could be mean if he really wanted to. And to be honest, in a relationship he was quite protective.

[Kotorichan]

"Okay, thank you" Lan smiled more and finished his coffee and cereal. Caleb also finished his food and snuggled up to Lan's side. "All done?" Lan stood up and gathered the dishes once his son nodded. "Just wait for a minute..."

He washed and dried the dishes before putting them away. He walked over to Caleb and scooped him up in his arms again, lightly kissing his forehead. "Can you say 'thank you' to Yukio for making us breakfast?"

Caleb whimpered and shyly looked over at the other man. "Thank you..." He said quietly.

[♠[Rin]♠]

To be honest, he would have loved to reply I can't hear you, but let's be honest: Caleb wasn't guilty for his never-ending bad mood in the morning. So he just answered with a "You're welcome" and pulled himself up from the chair as well. "I'll be dressing up while you are in the bathroom, is that alright?" After all, his dresser was in his bedroom...

 

Yukio really wasn't a family-type of person, but he tried.

[Kotorichan]

"Of course it's alright" Lan smiled at him. "This is your place after all" He carried Caleb to the bedroom and got out a change of clothes for both of them before taking him to the bathroom. He began to gently bath his son, helping him get all the grime out of his hair and skin. He wondered when he could talk to Yukio, probably not until Caleb went to sleep that night.

 

Once they were both done bathing Lan cleaned up the bathroom so Yukio wouldn't have to. He dressed Caleb and in some the few clothes they had. Each of them had a couple outfits but they were a bit ragged and Caleb was already starting to grow out of his clothes and shoes. Lan sighed as he noticed the boy's pants were getting far too short. "We need to get you new clothes..." He murmured, picking his son up again.

 

"I'm okay..." Caleb mumbled, snuggling close.

 

Lan carried him out of the bathroom, it hurt that Caleb could somewhat understand that they didn't have any money. It wasn't right for a kid to worry about that.

[♠[Rin]♠]

While his guests were busy in the bathroom, Yukio went into his bedroom and quickly put on some usual jeans, a dark tanktop and a red and black patterned, short-sleeved shirt, which he kept unbuttoned above the top. Afterwards he walked back into the living room and opened the windows to let some fresh air in. Subsequently, he walked over to the bag laying on one of the chairs around the small table and fished out his wallet to put it into the back pocket of his jeans. As soon as the bathroom door was opened, Yukio lifted his glance. "Ready?" he asked, flipping the keys from his bag into the air and catching them again. A playful yet halfway emotionless personality. A good mix sometimes, but only sometimes. Maybe that was the reason why he liked to bite during a kiss.

[Kotorichan]

Lan made sure to grab his wallet from the bedroom before going to the living room. "Yep, we're ready to go" He gently set Caleb down and took his hand. "Is the store very far?" He wanted to see what kind of area they were in, there hadn't been any time the previous day. He really hoped it would be a safe place so he could take Caleb out for walks a lot. Some of the other friends he stayed with lived in dangerous areas and Caleb would be stuck inside almost all the time.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Not that far. Down the street; there is an infamous shopping street. It has like five stores. Fifteen minutes walk," Yukio answered, stepping towards the duo and lazily crossing his arms while looking up to his ex-lover. Damn, he really had grown tall.

 

"A bus goes there too. But the ride takes half an hour, because it drives to other stations as well which are fairly far away," the raven added. "This city is big, but its areas are quite small. The districts are more like big and empty than vivid as well. Thus it's very quite during the night, actually."

[Kotorichan]

"That's good..." Lan stared down into Yukio's eyes. He really... Really wanted to kiss the other man. He quickly tore his gaze away. "Um... Well, lead the way. We didn't have a chance to look around yesterday, right Caleb?" He smiled down at his son, trying to remind himself why he had to wait to talk about these things.

Caleb nodded shyly, still staring up at Yukio with distrust.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Alrighty. Then let's go." Yukio passed Lan by and unlocked the door, stepping outside and waiting for his guests to do the same before he locked the door twice. Afterwards he led the duo out of the high-rise and along the pavement. The walk did indeed take around a quarter-hour. Maybe a little more since Caleb wasn't capable of walking as quick as Lan and he would usually.

 

The sun greeted them at least. It was comfortably warm with some white clouds flying by. The streets and sidewalks looked pretty empty until they reached the shopping-street, which turned out to be more crowded. An uncomplicated construction of architecture; the stores were built in a circle around a tall fountain with benches around it.

 

"We should go to the grocery store last so that the foods will have a better survival chance on the way back."