Familiar Love (Pigeon and Rin)

[Kotorichan]

Lan could feel Caleb's grip on his hand growing tighter the more crowded the streets got. Finally Lan gave in and picked up his son. The little boy got so scared in crowds, it really worried Lan. But now wasn't the time to push him out of his comfort zone. "Okay, so where should we go first...?" Lan wasn't sure where they needed to go besides the store and the park. Maybe Yukio needed to do some other shopping? If Lan had money then there was plenty of shopping he could do.

 

It hurt to see all the happy families with children in well fitting clothes. He wanted Caleb to have that kind of life, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen his son fully relaxed like that. He hugged the boy a little tighter to his chest, unable to hide the pained expression on his face.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"You two need the basic things," Yukio said, gesturing Lan to follow him into the first shop on the left side. So it began. Tooth paste, toilet paper, shampoo, shower foam, shaving foam, ... Everything Yukio thought would be intelligent to buy right away. After all, three people needed more than the stuff he already had for himself. So, yeah.

After that, they checked the other shops as well. Here and there a few small things were bought. Though, the most time they spent in the grocery store. Yukio took things that he thought were either good to have for the coming days and the ingredients he needed for meals he already had in his head. He liked to plan ahead, to be honest.

 

"If you want something special, a meal or a dessert, you gotta tell me," he said to both of them, looking over his shoulder. Hopefully they weren't all modest. Yukio had nothing against modesty but ... they needed things.

[Kotorichan]

Lan did his best to help while still carrying Caleb in one arm. He always picked the cheapest option for himself and the best quality he could afford for Caleb. Once they reached the grocery store he was able to set the boy in the shopping cart. Lan was clearly being to worry about money. Even the small things added up, he couldn't ask for anything... Yukio was already doing so much for them.

"Daddy...?" Caleb stared up at Lan and lightly reached out to hold his hand. "Things are gonna be okay" He smiled cutely, repeating the words that Lan always told him.

Lan managed a smile and kissed the top of his head. "I know sweetie..." He murmured. "Daddy's just a little tired."

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio sighed to himself silently at the conversation. Geez. He was not good with things like these. Also, maybe if he said the wrong thing, he might make it worse.

They left the grocery store with another full bag and Yukio checked the time on his watch. "Alright. We'll bring the things in the house and then I'll show you the way to the park. Deal?" He said, glancing at Lan. "And stop looking so sad, or I will-" He paused for a bit, his eyes wandering to Caleb, before another sigh left his lips. "Nevermind. Let's get going. I think we have everything."

[Kotorichan]

Lan had to put down Caleb so he could carry the bags. He smiled slightly as Yukio began a threat. "Thanks" He said softly, it felt somewhat familiar to have Yukio threatening him as a was to show how he cared. Right now he really wanted to feel happy, he was just so emotionally and physically exhausted...

He followed after Yukio, keeping an eye on Caleb. The boy was going to need to rest for a bit before going out again, but maybe that would give Lan and Yukio a few minutes to put away groceries.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The raven walked all the way back with the duo. Inside the apartment, he set the bag he was carrying onto the counter of the kitchen and started to put the groceries into the fridge. Subsequently, he put the bag away and cracked the window of the kitchen. Still some time left until he should start making Lunch, he thought to himself.

[Kotorichan]

Lan set down his grocery bag down on the counter. "I'll be right back..." He told Yukio before picking Caleb up and carrying him to the bedroom. He tucked the boy in and made sure he was comfortable then returned to the kitchen to help put groceries away. "Sorry, he's still really worn out from all the travelling." He gave the man a tired smile. "Thank you for showing us around"

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Of course," Yukio answered while Lan brought his son away. He himself didn't know what exactly a child needed. So he just didn't question anything. It sounded logical though that Caleb was exhausted since his was still so small and in the process of growing.

As soon as Lan came back and thanked him for showing the duo around, Yukio nodded at him. "You're welcome. I'm sure Google Maps will also be a good help if I'm not there, just in case." He loved that App. Because his sense of direction was not the best. It was a good thing this village was small and owned a simple structure.

[Kotorichan]

"Yeah... I can only use my phone when I have wifi though" Lan sighed softly. "Couldn't afford to pay for the data" He rubbed his eyes, trying not to think about how it was just another thing he needed to worry about. It was so tiring, he was honestly starting to worry that he might just collapse if he kept this up. But he didn't have any other options, he would just have to hope that he could hold on until things got sorted out.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Ah.. that sucks." Yukio had always been quite vulgar when it came to language. But oh well.

He filled a new glass with water and nipped on it, exhaling through his nose. "At least it's sunny outside, no? Could be worse. I mean, you could be anywhere with your son right now and the worst of tornado's could be hunting you, shooting lightnings and shit at you." His sense of humour was so dark. "However." Yukio added, setting the glass down. "If you feel like falling apart, do it when a bed is behind you. I can't catch you. I mean, I could try, but it would probably result in broken bones. And then I'd kill you.."

 

Goose flesh. Broken bones were gross, man.

[Kotorichan]

Lan laughed softly. "You don't have to try to catch me" He tried to make it sound like a joke, but he really meant it. "And yeah, it definitely could be worse. I mean, we have food and somewhere to sleep." He looked away as he finished putting away groceries. "Besides... Caleb isn't going to get hurt by that woman again. So whatever I have to do is worth it just for that" The man managed a tired smile. No matter how stressed Caleb was when they traveled, it was clear to see he was happier like this than he had been with Jessica.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio glanced at his ex-lover. Softness and gentleness flashing up in his usually piercing eyes. Instead of any word of comfort, he just lifted his hand and pushed a fist against Lan's ribs. Not that he owned enough strength to actually hurt the taller man. "Exactly. You'll both be fine." He paused for a moment. "In fact, the next time you see her, just burn her." Basic answer to every problem alá Yukio. He could be quite protective. Maybe not over Caleb but this woman had also done things to Lan, therefore...

[Kotorichan]

Lan noticeably winced at the suggestion. "I fucking wish I could..." He said under his breath. "I never... Told you what the breaking point was with her... Did I?" He looked away. "I mean... I was trying to get an actual divorce so I could get full custody and have her pay child support... I was talking to a lawyer and I was just about to actually talk to Jessica about it" He let out a soft sigh. "Sorry, I guess I'm still tired. I shouldn't dump all that shit on you"

[♠[Rin]♠]

"It's your decision whether or not you tell me," Yukio answered, leaning against the counter. "Considering the fact that you have already started, end it. At least I have company, right?" His eyes moved over to the window. The apartment was not big, but also the smallest hellholes could get really lonely. Even with a cat around. "Maybe you should start taking afternoon naps as well, hmmm?"

[Kotorichan]

"I'll take naps when I can afford it..." Lan laughed softly. He leaned against the counter next to Yukio and stared at the wall. For a moment he stayed quiet, trying to decide what to say. "She dumped boiling hot coffee on Caleb..." He finally said quietly. "He was being a kid and having fun and she just... got pissed and poured it on his back" His hands clenched into fists as he remembered. "As soon as he was out of the hospital I took him..."

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio studied the other's facial features. How much he would love it if he could feel what Lan was going through right now in this moment. But he couldn't. He had always admired the other for his emotions, loved him for his expressions and adored his soft voice and stunning smile. Lan was just the perfect human in any way. There wasn't this and that which Yukio could prefer or this and that which he didn't like about Lan. The man had his talents and minor blemishes, though he wanted the whole thing, everything put together.

 

"It was a good decision."

 

He tried.

[Kotorichan]

Lan managed a slight smile at Yukio's response. "Still not good at emotional stuff are you?" He chuckled softly. "God... you really are just like I remember... I was so worried that I'd come here and you'd be nothing like before..." He looked at the other man. "I mean... I feel like I've been so fucking broken from the last few years. Remembering our time together was what kept me together sometimes. Sometimes I'd just imagine that I could meet you again and things would... I don't know... Things would make sense again I guess.."

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Uhm... not really," he confirmed, crossing his arms loosely. He listened closely to the other's words, before cracking a somewhat sad smile. "They would make sense? You make it sound like I am some kind of drug and you're addicted. Though.. I guess love is some kind of addiction.." He wondered for a bit, before Yukio's glance moved from the floor back to Lan. "I don't know how such emotional words find their way to your brain. Like, how do you do that? I can, uhm.. I still have photos of us. Is that on the same emotional level?" The sad part of this was that he asked the question semi-seriously.

 

"I mean, like, I adored your talents for emotional things and I still do. And it kinda ... uh ... breaks my heart? It hurts? It's weird? Like..." The raven uncrossed his arms and moved to stand right in front of Lan. He lifted his hands to each side of the other's lips, forcing the corners of the mouth slightly up to make his face smile. "I wanna see this. Like, truly. Not sad or depressed or half-dead. Just genuine. Do you get me? At least in the slightest?"

 

Ehhhh, did his speech even make sense?

 

He lowered his arms. "I mean. I kinda miss it. The sound of your laughters, your scent because I always wore your clothes without telling you, the warmth of your body when you hugged me, all that stuff. Does that sound legit? Additionally, you claim you are broken. But you are not. You are Lan. You are the one who fought me verbally for hours and still grinned like an idiot afterwards. You used to never give up, no fucking matter what. And you made me feed my fish even though I didn't want to. Plus, you came here to. Nobody else would have done that. You had the guts. You're there for your son. You are being modest. You're trying to be fine very hard. That's not broken, that's just experienced and thoughtful. You see?"

 

A small pause.

 

"I mean I still want your smile back.. Like, God damn it, Lan, I've tried so many times to make you smile back then."

[Kotorichan]

Lan stayed silent until Yukio was done speaking, a slight smile on his lips. He loved hearing how the other man really felt, he always did. It made him feel special that Yukio would try so hard to explain his feelings.

"Yukio..." Lan reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you..." He didn't think he would be able to explain just how much the others words meant to him, but he could try. "I still love you so much... And it makes me so fucking happy to hear that you don't think I'm broken... And that you actually want to see me smile. It feels like its been so long since anyone except Caleb wanted me to smile"

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio moved his arms around the taller man and leaned into the hug. He may not be good with emotions and words but deep inside he sought affection. Lan would give it unconditionally.

 

"Well, I wasn't there to make your life better. Because i'm trying hard and I want a reward." This hug was enough anyway. He would take what he got.

Breathing in the other's scent, the raven closed his eyes half. "I ... love you, too." Those words sounded so wrong when spoken with his voice, he found.

 

Please don't leave me again. "And if you leave me again after this, I'll kill you." Ah, almost. Almost the same.

[Kotorichan]

Lan stared down at him for a moment before a purely genuine smile lit up his face. "Yukio..." He hugged the man tighter, nuzzling into his hair. "I won't leave you again... I swear... I'll give you all the rewards I possibly can" He lightly lifted Yukio's chin with one hand, leaning down until their lips were almost touching. "May I..?" He asked softly. Lan had always been very careful about consent, for a long time he had asked Yukio before each kiss. Now wasn't any different.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Sounds good," Yukio answered. He liked rewards, actually quite much. But the thing he wished for more than rewards was attention.

A goose flesh racked his spine as Lan lifted his head by the chin and asked for permission to kiss him. "You still do that?..." Not that he minded it. He felt fairly respected when Lan did that. And he remembered that one time he had accidentally injured the other's jaw.

 

Kendo and being easy to scare was by far not the best combination when having such a loving boyfriend.

 

Yukio lifted his left hand and placed it onto Lan's shoulder, his eyes half-closed. "...yes, you may."

[Kotorichan]

Lan chuckled softly at the question. "Of course I do..." He leaned in and gently kissed the other man. He wrapped one arm around Yukio's waist and pulled him close. He wanted to go even farther... It had been so long since he had been so happy to touch someone... He really just wanted to bend Yukio over the table and take him.

Of course he couldn't... That would be moving way too fast and Caleb was just in the other room. Lan slowly broken the kiss, still smiling. Just this would be more than enough for now. "Thank you..."

[♠[Rin]♠]

Yukio's eyes fell close with a grin on his lips, which vanished during the kiss. His hand wandered back to Lan's neck and his other arm lazily wrapped around it as well. His body temperature rose a little and his fingertips carefully drew a circle on the back of Lan's neck.

 

The kiss ended and Yukio opened his eyes look into his ex-lovers face. Was he really his ex? This was like a new beginning. Or were they both just confused and stressed? Could he really call the other his lover again?

 

"You're welcome." The smirk returned to his lips. "But let me do one more thing." The raven tiptoed and leaned in once more -- just to capture Lan's lower lip with his teeth and give it a little bite. Not enough to draw blood, but not gently either. It was just his thing.

 

Pulling back, Yukio leaned a little backwards, trusting Lan's arm around his waist to hold him.

[Kotorichan]

Lan blushed softly at the bite, he kept his arm around the man's waist. "Hey... Are you trying to turn me on?" He teased. "You know how much I liked that" He nuzzled Yukio gently. It was true, Lan had always loved it rough and Yukio's little bites were a huge turn on.

 

He really wanted to ask what they were now... Did this mean they were together again..? Or were they just starting to work things out.

 

After a moment of thought he decided to just try. "So does this mean..?" he stopped himself as he heard Caleb's voice call out softly from the living room. "Daddy..? Where did you go..?"