I'm trying to create a yaoi manga. I need your help XD

[serusenpai]

Hello Guys XD

 

OMG, I need your Yaoi expertise yet again.

 

I have convinced another illustrator to collaborate with me. We are going back and forth on our plan but we shall. I’m kind of in a blank right now.

 

Anyway, I’m working on this story which deviates from the typical and cliché plots that we typically read in yaoi/BL manga. I just want your opinion about it. Let me know! Anything helps XD

 

 

Title: "Seme trapped in a Uke's Perfect Body"

Genre: Yaoi, Shonen-ai, Slice of Life, Supernatural, Parody, Sports, Comedy, Romance

 

Summary:

Haru Arata, the hero of our story, attends Yoshi Academy for boys with the hopes of finding his perfect uke—slim, cute and innocent. Ironically, this same description applies to him. Haru is cute, innocent, and slim and especially he has a nice bubbly butt. Four good looking and athletic seme princes have their eyes set on Haru. What will happen to this ironic Hero as these four semes begin to make their move to get into his pants?

 

Semes:

Usagi Hiroshi – is the President of the Student Council. Soccer Team Captain. Personality: Calm, Level-Headed, Mysterious and Unexpressive.

Aki Takeshi – Basketball Team Captain. Personality: Lively, Pleaser, Expressive, Talkative, and Friendly.

Hide Kyouya – Volleyball Team Captain. Personality: Irritable, Badboy, Cool, Impulsive and Mean.

Ryoichi Soma – Kendo Team Captain. Personality: Cautious, Manipulative, and Clever.

 

 

Okay, so these are my concerns:

1. My initial draft only involved two semes, is it too much to add two more guys?

 

2. How much smut scene do you want to see?

 

3. Is soft-core yaoi acceptable for you?

 

4. What do you think of doing parodies of popular anime integrated into this manga?

 

5. What do you think of stereotypical Yaoi pairings (Example: slim/short uke to muscular/tall seme?)

 

6. What do you think of defying the stereotypical yaoi pairings? (Example: slim/short seme to muscular/tall seme? Or muscular/tall seme to muscular/tall uke? And slim/short seme to slim/short uke?)

 

7. Do you want to see role reversal (Seke)?

 

I know this is a lot to ask. I really appreciate your feedbacks, suggestions and comments. I am forever grateful XD ;o

[reotsune]

1. It is good that you already has an original or rather your first draft, if you still think something lacks... then it is okay to make another draft that satisfies you. Make the first draft as your guide and just add more details or whatever you wanna add. Adding two more semes is not a problem at all, as long as the story still follows through your sypnosis and also you should consider the taste of the audience. Step into the audience's shoe and think about if they would like it in the way you wanted it to be. There should always be a limit, but still make it enjoyable to read as much as possible nonetheless.

2. Smut scenes are natural in yaoi 18+ mangas. You can add as much smut scenes as possible but as well as limiting it for the audience to not find it disgusting in the end. Make it a smut scene that mostly your audiences would like and love, a heart-racing very sweet yet also sexy smut scene is good. Like the first one, put your considerations on your audience.

3. It will always depends on your audiences. This comment is connected to the my second comment. plz read it again. If this is your first manga, and you would like your audience to love reading it over and over, then make the manga enjoyable that most and almost all of the audiences would enjoy. For me, a mild yet sexy would do (since I am still young)...

4. no comment.

5. I don't have particular problems on stereotypical pairings. Most yaoi enthusiast would still love it as long as your story is interesting.

6. For me, I like that idea also. I find it interesting because it is new to my taste. I am not sure with the other audiences but probably, the others would find it cool too. since it is cute and all. Still, if you would regard that idea, make the story interesting.

7. I am not fond of that but it'll do as long as it will fit to your story.

 

MAIN COMMENT AND SUGGESTION:

...Consider your audiences' tastes and make the story as interesting and enjoyable at the same time...

 

GOODLUCK!!!

(I experienced being an assistant for a manga, so I hope this comment will be helpful to you... I guess... I hope...ha..haha...ha) :5yoyo21:

[shinigamichan]

First of all.... YES YES YES!!! This sounds like an amazing yaoi manga that I would definitely read!!!!

1) Hmmm.. Two is kind of cliche but.. maybe have four but make it so that two of them are more focused on? I'm not sure if you intend the main character to actually fall in love with one of them or not. If so the other three can be used more for comic relief and not play as big a role since four serious ships are a bit too much

2) smut is love but too much smut and not enough plot makes a really good idea into a horrible story. A story like yours has a lot of potential but its also really easily to make it turn into something with too much smut. As long as the smut is in the right place and there's a reason for the scene to be there then it shouldn't be a problem. But if every few pages is a sex scene that doesn't advance the plot, then that's way too much.

3)I read smut and soft core and shounen ai depending on my mood. I usually am more in the mood for something that isn't over the top in sex and also has a story. Soft core should be fine for the most part.

4)I feel like you should make this story an independent story without integration of other anime since not everyone will understand all the references. Maybe do a story with that some other time?

5)I actually love pairings that are different from the norm such as a slightly muscular uke(not overly muscular) or a short adorable seme that's actually a devil. But if it's a really good story then I don't see what the problem would be if they were stereotypical semes and ukes since you had the twist of the uke wanting to be a seme(again I LOVE that idea)

6)I think I made my views on that pretty clear on point 5

7)hmm sekes are pretty cute. What I really like is when it's almost been established that this character is an uke and this character is a seme but then in the last chapter(maybe an extra) there's a sex scene where it changes. The idea of the "ideal uke" finally getting his partner to accept his wishes of being a seme in the last chapter is pretty hot. Honestly this story has so many potential endings.

 

Answering these questions was a lot of fun so if you ever want any more feedback from me, please send me a message and I would be happy to comment more!

[serusenpai]

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OMG! Thank you so much for your input. It helps a lot on drafting this story. XD

 

Here is my basic character profiles of everyone in this story. This is my main story but it branches off with these sides stories with other characters. It is pretty much a "trapped" series.

 

I wrote a draft for my MC's mom called "Fujoshi Trapped in a Seme's Perfect Body" (You can read it on wattpad @ serusenpai)

 

Let me know what you think XD It does help a lot to see a different view/perspective and opinion.

 

 

 

Character Profiles

 

The Arata Family

 

Name: Haru Arata

Physical Attributes

Age: 18

Height: 5’8

Eye Color: Ocean Green

Body Type: Slim/Slender

Description Haru is a self-proclaimed closeted male otaku and fudanshi of the intergalactic universe. He is smart but lacks to understand social cues and can be gullible at times. He bases social interactions from manga and anime. He is a go getter, impulsive and somewhat perverted. He is very touchy (physical) in nature.

Haru will join the Swim Team in order to get close to Asami Saito, the team captain.

Haru will later join the student council as the replacement treasurer and becomes the mascot when the treasurer returns from study abroad.

Skills/Talents Extremely organized, creative, industrious, go-getter and optimistic.

Weakness Haru fails to see social cues and acts very naïve.

 

Name : Misa Arata

Physical Attributes Age: 39

Height: 5’6

Eye Color: Ocean Green

Description Misa is Haru’s supportive mother. She is the self-proclaimed ultra-mega fujoshi queen of the intergalactic universe. She has two sons, Haru and Hideki. She dreams of having a gay son to fulfill her BL dreams into reality. She owns a BL forum website and part-times as a BL reviewer.

Skills/Talents Melodramatic acting, instantaneous shipping of guys and Haru’s source of wisdom.

First meeting with the Semes Misa is elated by having her ultimate fujoshi moment is materializing right before her eyes when she sees her son has a four member Harem.

 

Name: Hideki Arata

Physical Attributes Age: 11

Height: 5’0

Eye Color: Light Brown

Body Type: Slim/Slender

Description Hideki is Haru’s younger sibling. Unlike Haru, Hideki is street smart. He likes money, toys and games. He is calculative, manipulative, clever and greedy.

Skills/Talents Manipulative and scheming tactics and auctioneering skills.

First Meeting with the four Semes He auctions off Haru’s secrets and baby pictures to the highest bidder and when the transactions are being finalize, Haru stops it.

 

Name: Kazuo Arata

Physical Attributes Age: 40

Height: 6’3

Eye Color: Light Brown

Body Type: Athletic

Description: Kazuo is Haru’s loving, caring, supportive, doting and overprotective father. He tries to protect his son from harm. He has a son complex. He will never give up his son to any guy. He works as a pediatrician.

Skills/Talents: Son-Complex Radar and Charming.

First Meeting with the four Semes: When the four semes visit Haru’s house.

 

Name: Azumi Arata

Physical Attributes Age: 42

Height: 5’5

Eye Color: Light Brown

Description: Azumi is Haru’s aunt. She is also a self-proclaimed fujoshi queen of the intergalactic universe. She works a BL manga editor. She is divorced and has a son, Toshi.

Skills/Talents: Instantaneous shipping of guys, critical, supportive, encouraging and twisted perversion.

First Meeting with the four Semes: When the four semes visit Haru’s house. Misa talks about them and they pick their ships.

First Appearance in the story: She mentions to Haru that their publishing house is holding a one-shot BL manga contest and encourages Haru to join.

 

Name: Toshi Arata

Physical Attributes Age: 21

Height: 5’11

Eye Color: Light Gray

Description: Toshi is Haru’s cousin. Haru looks up to Toshi as his older brother. Toshi has a brother complex and protects Haru. He works in sales and marketing in a tech company.

Skills/Talents: Overprotectiveness, industrious, loving, witty, smart, cool and charming.

First Meeting with the four Semes: Due to his work, he hasn’t spent that much time with Haru. To make it up to him, Toshi takes Haru on a date. The four semes mistakenly take Toshi as Haru’s boyfriend and stalk them, and later finds out that Toshi is Haru’s cousin.

 

 

 

 

The Four Semes

 

Name: Usagi Hiroshi

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 6’2

Eye Color: Light Green

Description: Usagi is the president of the student council and the soccer team captain. He is clean cut and neat. His personality is calm, level-headed, serious and authoritative. He only shows his smile when Haru is around.

Skills/Talents: Athletic, critical, logical and plays the piano.

Preference: Dominant, romantic and sensual. He wants to bite Haru’s butt.

First Meeting with Haru: Since Haru transfers in the academy during the last year of high school, Usagi meets Haru first hand. He shows and guides him around the school. His speech affects Haru’s perspective about life.

 

Name: Aki Takeshi

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 6’1

Eye Color: Gray

Description: Aki is the vice president of the student council and handles student relations. He is also the basketball team captain. He has a happy go lucky and welcoming vibe. His personality is friendly, positive, people-pleaser, expressive and talkative.

Skills/Talents: Athletic, easy to talk to, likes to draw landscapes and plays the violin.

Preference: Submissive and Pleaser. He is obsessed with Haru’s neck.

First Meeting with Haru: During the sports recruitment day, Aki saves Haru from Ryoichi. Ryoichi is a bit forceful on trying to recruit Haru into the tennis team. Since, Usagi lose track of Haru, Aki shows him around and introduces him to Asami, the swim team captain.

 

Name: Hide Kyouya

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 6’1

Eye Color: Gray

Description: Hide is the Enforcer of the student council and the volleyball team captain. His personality is irritable, badboy, spoiled, cool and mean. He is having a hard time expressing his feelings and usually turns to aggression.

Skills/Talents: Athletic, can draw and plays the drums.

Preference: Aggressive, rough and sadistic. He likes Haru’s nipples the most.

First Meeting with Haru During the sports recruitment day and all the chaos, Haru drops the BL manga that he accidentally picks up instead of his notebook. Hide picks up his mom’s BL manga. After class, Hide announces that he has found a pornographic material and he will find who owns it and discipline him. Because of the written “Arata” inside the book, he figures out that Haru owns it. Initially, he wants to blackmail Haru to be his pet but Haru defies him. This incident piqued his interest since no one has every defied him.

 

Name: Ryoichi Soma

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 6’0

Eye Color: Gray

Description: Ryoichi is the secretary of the student council and the tennis team captain. His personality is usually cautious, clever, shy, mysterious, greedy and mildly perverted. He is quite childish and giggles at sexual innuendos.

Skills/Talents: Athletic, keen, observant and organized.

Preference: Masochistic and likes every part of Haru.

First Meeting with Haru: When he sees Haru for the first time, he acts out of character. He doesn’t know how to react and becomes a bit aggressive towards Haru. He knows that he is acting weird but he knows that Haru has awaken something within himself that he doesn’t know before.

 

 

 

The Three Ukes

 

Name: Asami Saito

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 5’7

Eye Color: Dark Blue

Description: Asami is the swim team captain. His personality is mean, abrasive, cold, violent and irritable. He is the complete opposite when he is around Aki.

Skills/Talents: Leadership, concentration and strictness.

Preference: Sadist

First Meeting with Haru: Aki introduces Haru to him since Haru is looking for a sport that doesn’t involve sweat and the one that requires less effort. Asami acts cold towards Haru because he is jealous. Because of Aki’s request, Asami let Haru join the swim team.

 

Name: Yuki Takano

Physical Attributes Age: 18

Height: 5’6

Eye Color: Light Brown

Description: Yuki is the treasurer of the student council and a member of the swim team. He is currently out of the country for study abroad program. He is Usagi’s friend and clings on to him. His personality is sweet, kind and caring.

He later latches on to Haru.

Skills/Talents: Organized, very sweet and charming.

Preference: Submissive and innocent

First Meeting with Haru: Yuki comes back on the start of the second semester and resumes his role as the treasurer. Haru is still in the student council, becomes the mascot and helps everyone as needed.

 

Name Mizuno Kyouya

Physical Attributes Age: 17

Height: 5’5

Eye Color: Dark Gray

Description: Initially, Mizuno is a member of the volleyball team. Halfway of the first semester, he joins the swim team in order to get close to Haru. He has a competitive brother complex with Hide. He is competitive, talkative and a bit kinder compare to Hide. He is also having trouble expressing his feelings but he can show his loving side through actions.

Skills/Talents: Industrious, clever and scheming.

Preference: Sadist and Aggressive

First Meeting with Haru: He joins the swim team half way of the first semester since he has gotten annoyed by Hide. He notices that Hide likes Haru and will make him angry by getting close to Haru.

[reotsune]

IT IS AWESOME!!! Believe it or not dude, you have the potential!! :8yoyo13:

 

I find it very interesting (especially the parents XD)

 

Uhm~ I think it is great already, the profiles and stuffs... It makes me excited on how you would connect all of the characters in one story~ It's really awesome man.. haha~ keep it up!

 

I have both my thumbs up on this~ It seems like it would be a good manga to read... Overalls are good and has potentials~ can be customized a bit more to make it better...

 

GoodLuck bro~ If you need more help, you can always ask and I'll gladly help :_red_fox 4

[serusenpai]

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Yay XD We're still in character development XD I guess its time for me to start drafting the first chapter. \o/

 

The parents are just XD so funny. They have their own story as a pre-quel. So their personalities would make sense but that will be for another time T_T I haven't figured out how it will end. So we shall see oooo

 

Also, the smut scenes for this story will be just dreams such as "Hide's wet dream #1" something like that.

 

The semes had to work really hard to get into that uke's butt XD

[reotsune]

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Is that so~ Well then, I'll look forward to the parent's story haha~

 

And also the dream smut scene sounds interesting... It is also thrilling to see how the semes work hard for the uke's butts fufu~

 

keep it up :_red_fox 2

[shinigamichan]

Yes~ You have the four main personalities of a seme harem: the stoic one, the friendly one, the cute one, and the rude one! Tbh the fujoshi mom is super relatable because that is probably going to be me when I have children.:cuteonion41:

I love how well thought out these characters are. Have you drawn any drafts of the characters?

[serusenpai]

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I gave it a lot of thought and I am a fan of smut scenes with substance. Sooooooooooo, these scenarios will be materialize into the seme's dream XD Like a perfect smut scene scenario that reflects their preference.

 

The parents are just crazy. I loved them XD >_

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Everyone loves the mom XD She is just an extreme version. Also, the fujoshi aunt will be crazier. (If you checked out my draft for "Fujoshi trapped in a Seme's Perfect Body," you'll understand)

 

Thanks XD It undergo a lot of editing and thinking T_T I don't want them to be generic.

 

In terms of character development, I'm waiting for my illustrator to finish her finals/projects and We'll get into it.

These guys will be a lot different compare to typical Yaoi character designs. It will have a mixe of western influence to them and a little bit of classic yaoi design.

 

We shall see how it turns out I'm already drafting the first four chapters.

 

T_T Currently researching and looking into intro to creating a manga, panelling, expressions etc.

 

>_

 

It's a lot of work but I'm really excited wooooo

 

 

I love the art style of my illustrator. The guys will look similar to this. This is just a sample of her work.

 

[reotsune]

It looks nice~ your illustrator is good... I'm getting excited on how your illustrator would draw your characters XD

 

Hope to see it soon! :_red_fox 4

 

If possible~ when the illustrations of your characters are finished, could you post it here? I wanna see and if it's okay I want to draw a fan art of it for you XD G'luck again ahaha

[serusenpai]

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Yea, she's amazing XD Of course! I might be biased but the character design of Hide (The bad boy) is my favorite XD All of us are just so attracted to bad boys XD lmao :DD

 

 

She needs to hurry up already and draw lmao jk XD

[reotsune]

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Well nothing can be done and excitedly wait XD

 

hope to see it soon fufu~

[shinigamichan]

Woah your illustrator is so good! I will definitely read the fujoshi trapped in a seme's perfect body...just the name sounds so amazing O_O. Ooh I also would like to try to draw fanart

[serusenpai]

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I know. It sucks to wait T_T I sometimes wish that I can draw well lmao! but I can't T_T

 

I'll just strip here:

 

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My draft is still on my wattpad @ Serusenpai I'm writing a manuscript for a manga adaptation of that too. A lot has changed but the core concept is still there: an ultra mega fujoshi queen of the intergalactic universe turns into a pervy and horny seme. XD

 

She is good! I'm happy that I found her and she agreed to collaborate XD We shall see!!!

[reotsune]

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WOAH~ you looks cool in that iwatobi jacket hahaha~ :_red_fox 4

 

nice GIF by the way :Red_fox11:

[rainy-miracle]

I like the story and the illustrations are just awesome XD

Can`t wait to see more

[serusenpai]

Change of plans guys, my illustrator liked my story "Fujoshi trapped in a Seme's Perfect Body" A LOT. So we are doing to do a manga adaption of that first.

 

Short Summary of Fujoshi:

 

Misa Nanase wishes to be a guy in her birthday. The wish comes true and she becomes Misaki Nanase. The story revolves around her navigating the world as a guy.

 

 

Here are some rough sketches.

 

Let me know what you think! XD Also who is your favorite bishie!!! XD

 

 

I shamelessly ask her to make me an avatar XD ) SOON SOON!! Abs will be mine

[serusenpai]

Character designs!

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The Arata Clan

 

 

 

 

 

The Four Semes

 

 

 

 

 

The Ukes

 

 

 

 

The Yaoi Army - Bishounen Division Class Picture, First Generation

 

[rian valentine]

Umm is Misa a guy in heart?? will haru be permanent cuz if not I really can't view this as BL or yaoi.Man body or not he still a she inside.It feels like a lie.

[rian valentine]

Correction I mean misake not haru.lol Is it too early to ship usagi x asami they're my favourite I'm vibrating with excitement hahaha

[rian valentine]

Omigod misaki not misake gosh I'm blind also I think I like Haru,he's so cuteee

[rian valentine]

Okay I definitely blind,Misa is actually the Mom,okay its brilliant its fucking brilliant, I ship Usagi x Haru now Can't wait XD

[rian valentine]

Okay I'm confused as hell,,there are two story?? Fujooshi is weird I just can't view misake as a guy and the manga boyxboy I'll read the other one tho

[eri kun]

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ohmygod, I thought I reconized that story and name. It's seru.:o Your latest work is so brilliant (like every fujoshi's dream) and I cannot wait for an updated .