Try for Change (Coffee-Tastic and grizzly) [18+]

[grizzly]

(Lol, it's alright. I've been too busy to get on my ds these last two weeks. I just started an internship at a dental clinic and it is kicking my ass.)

 

Hiroto decided to display his frustration with a pout. He could read through that fake smile any day, but he went along with it just so he could avoid conflict. "I'm trying here, I'm not exactly a professional at this... Yet." He mumbled the last word under his breath, but he guessed Kou picked up on that since he had egg smeared on his nose. He backed away and used his arm to rub away the gooey liquid with a frown. He was half tempted to pour the container over his brother's head.

 

"On it," he said while rolling his eyes. He reached for a big plate in the cabinet and grabbed the cutlets. They were cold to the touch, and felt just as slimy as the egg yolk. He had no idea cooking could be this messy. He moved over to the sink and ran the water over the cutlets at a decent temperature. When he was done washing each piece, he dried it off with a paper towel and stacked them all on the plate before he handed it over to Kou. He was much more careful this time and didn't rush like he did with the eggs.

 

"Are we going to make some for dad?" He dared to ask as he counted up the excess pieces of meat. It didn't hurt to make extras for leftovers, but he noticed every time Kou cooked, there was always an untouched plate for when their father didn't come home.

[Coffee-Tastic]

(Really? Is dentistry something related to what you want to do in the future then?~ also, I want to send you a pm, but your box is full >w

 

The eggs were blended correctly in Kou's hands, the soup being completely mixed and good to go. After getting the chicken, Kou took a knife from the holder and began to cut a side pocket into each chicken, which was where he'd put in the cheese for Hiro and himself. Hiro himself and not dad. Kou's calm expression bent with the talk of their dad, looking away from Hiroto. He made a whole dinner for three people yesterday even when he knew dad wasn't going to be back. Not for a while. "Well, Hiro..." He looked down and watched himself slicing the pockets, though not really paying attention, "What's so different today where you ask that? I've always made dinner for us. That isn't changing."

 

Making so much food was definitely a waste, Kou was aware of that. For what? Just to make himself feel a little better when he sat next to an empty chair as if he were coming? Yes... And it was worth it in a sad way. Making other people look small obviously wasn't healthy, but it made him feel better about himself. Pretending his dad was going to come back just because he put effort into making a dinner for all three of them wasn't healthy either. But it made him feel better about a lot more than just himself. His heart, his mind and, he wouldn't admit it, but his spirit as well.

 

His eyes losing focus, the cutting knife peeled through too far and sliced through skin. Kou flinched in pain and put down the bloody piece of meat and the knife, grabbing one of the towels that hung from the bar of the drawer and wrapping his finger around it, "Dammit... Ow!" He frowned, squeezing it hard to stop the bleeding , "Take this as a note. Always pay attention to your hands and finger when you use knives. Or else you'll get cut."

[grizzly]

(Oh sorry about that, I had no idea there was a limit on my inbox. It's empty now. I actually want to work on being a nurse, then maybe enter the military. You?)

 

"Well..." He didn't want to tell Kou that it was a waste, but it really was. Putting all of his effort into making a dish only to have it not be eaten really is a waste. He never recalled actually seeing his father sitting down at the table with them. There were a few very rare occasions, but they all consisted of them eating in silence before quickly retreating to their rooms. He always became curious of what was in their father's room, but he always locked the door, keeping his curiosity at bay.

 

"Anyways, here's the plate." He placed the large plate onto the counter next to Kou and stepped back, giving his brother the space he needed. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched intently to what his brother was doing with the ingredients. There was a certain grace his hands held when he worked in the kitchen. He obviously didn't hold any finesse when it came to cooking himself, but maybe he could train himself to work it out in the future. Cooking was viewed more as a skill than a talent to Hiroto, so if Kou could do it, then he sure as hell could.

 

Eventually Hiroto let his gaze wander to his brother's back. Was he always bigger than his older brother? He always ate more and went out more than his brother, so maybe that was what contributed to their size difference. He continued to let his gaze wander until he noticed a slight quiver in his brother's shoulders. Shortly afterwards he heard Kou cry out in pain, instantly alarming the teenager.

 

"Kou!" He rushed over and grabbed hold of the hand that was now covered with a towel. Instinct told him to suck on the finger like those cliche scenes he saw in the mangled up manga he kept in his room. But it only took another second for him to realize just how close he was to his brother. "Let's get it cleaned up," he said without looking at his brother. He didn't listen to any protests Kou had to give and lead Kou to the bathroom where he knew they kept a first aid kit.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou could very well bandage himself up for this. It was a good cut, he had to admit, but Hiro felt the need to guide him to the kit. The towel he was using was pure white and that sucked... Ruining such a pure color with his blood... When he said the kitchen belonged to him, he wasn't intending to mark his territory like some rabid animal. It was his fault he cut into his finger, so he could only blame himself. Feeling the towel get hot with blood around his finger, he practically forgot what he was even thinking about.

 

"Hiroto, I can handle it myself," he mumbled, almost feeling like a kid by being taken to the bathroom by someone else. His brother didn't listen of course and by the time they were there, he wore a grumpy face. He never found interest in other people caring for him because it was simply unnecessary and he always felt like he had to return favors or else people would start using their favors to get him to guilt into things. "Seriously, let me do it myself. I've cut my hands before, I know what to do."

[grizzly]

Hiroto didn't want to hear anything Kou had to say and he ignored his brother for the most part while he reached for the first aid kit in the mirror cabinet. "I'll take care of it," he said finally as he pulled out the hydrogen peroxide and gauze. He removed the towel from Kou's hand and grimaced at the blood that was now staining the towel red. He was too stubborn to let Kou go, but Kou was also too stubborn to just let him do as he pleased. He moved the cut finger under the sink faucet and allowed cold water to run over the cut before he moved to grab the alcohol. He removed the cap and poured an ample amount of the stuff onto the gauze.

 

"This'll sting," he informed his brother and placed the wet material over the cut that was already starting to seep out more blood. He sort of knew the procedure of cleaning a cut, especially since he was always getting into fights. He usually had the nurse at the school patch him up and he was always disappointed that she was an old lady and not some hot babe. He knew Kou knew how to treat a small cut-the guy was an aspiring surgeon! But Hiroto only reacted by his instincts, and that was to help his brother.

 

"You alright?" He asked while he grabbed the band-aid from the kit. "It isn't like you to space out like that." He wrapped the bandage neatly around his brother's finger and proceeded to clean up the mess on the bathroom counter.

[Coffee-Tastic]

The wound continued to hurt, worse, but only because of the peroxide. Kou only did as much as a cringe at it, being able to keep the pain from making him clicking his teeth or anything of the sort. Like he said, he cut his hands before and he could handle it, that included the slight pain in came with. The brunet watched Hiro's hands as they helped his own, keeping his lips shut. When it was over, he inspected the bandage with a sigh.

 

He sure had spaced out hadn't he? With his finger dealt with, Kou touched the bandaid there gently, not enough for it to peel, but only to feel it's texture, under his fingertips, "It's not, you're correct..." He went to the corner of the doorframe for Hiro to be finished so they could return to the kitchen together. His brother certainly didn't need to hear any of what was always being pushed away to the back of his mind, but since he asked and Kou would see this as a way of returning the favor of Hiroto helping him... He'd at least say one thing.

 

"It's obvious dad isn't going to come back for some time," he said, facing away in a casual way, "I don't like to think about it and I don't like you mentioning him all the time. I wouldn't have cut myself if you didn't bring up. We can't use the one I cut myself on now." He narrowed his eyes slightly, "Its a waste of food."

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

The wound continued to hurt, worse, but only because of the peroxide. Kou only did as much as a cringe at it, being able to keep the pain from making him clicking his teeth or anything of the sort. Like he said, he cut his hands before and he could handle it, that included the slight pain in came with. The brunet watched Hiro's hands as they helped his own, keeping his lips shut. When it was over, he inspected the bandage with a sigh.

 

He sure had spaced out hadn't he? With his finger dealt with, Kou touched the bandaid there gently, not enough for it to peel, but only to feel it's texture, under his fingertips, "It's not, you're correct..." He went to the corner of the doorframe for Hiro to be finished so they could return to the kitchen together. His brother certainly didn't need to hear any of what was always being pushed away to the back of his mind, but since he asked and Kou would see this as a way of returning the favor of Hiroto helping him... He'd at least say one thing.

 

"It's obvious dad isn't going to come back for some time," he said, facing away in a casual way, "I don't like to think about it and I don't like you mentioning him all the time. I wouldn't have cut myself if you didn't bring up. We can't use the one I cut myself on now." He narrowed his eyes slightly, "Its a waste of food."

[grizzly]

What could he say to Kou that could make him feel any better? Those words he said pierced right through him, leaving him a guilty and confused mess. Their father's absence bothered him too, but he must have had a stronger bond to the man like he did to their mother. But his mother wasn't around to continually fail them. He followed his brother to the kitchen, his feet lightly dragging against the floor more than usual. He felt defeated knowing he was the one who got his brother hurt, so he kept his distance and remained silent.

 

"I'm sorry," was all he could muster out while he searched for another knife. Usually he would fight back and run off, but today he was more acquiescent for the sake of getting back on good terms with Kou. Hiroto wasn't feeling like himself and was wracked with plaguing thoughts all day. All it took was for one slip between him and his brother and he felt like he was ready to disappear into a hole. He felt even more guilty about the dream he had and felt like he had to compensate for his perversion, but it wasn't like he could help what he dreamed of and what he couldn't.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Him saying sorry didn't do anything for Kou but making him feel bad about 'returning the favor', because he sort of just put the blame on him when it was his fault for losing concentration. So he wasn't just mean in his head, he was mean even when he spoke. It was hard to keep checking what words he was saying before they came out his mouth. He really couldn't. Whatever and just forget about it, Hiroto were the two first things he was about to say, neither of them showed that he was feeling sorry.

 

Kou kept silent and got another knife himself taking a clean cutlet to cut, his eyes keeping check on what his hands were doing this time, "... It's fine,' he muttered, "I should haven't stopped paying attention anyways." His question wasn't even unreasonable either. He just wanted to know. In fact, even if he didn't ruin one of the slabs of meat and completed all of them, there would still be one of them that was left behind. It is a waste of food... it was a waste thinking that his dad would ever take the time to enjoy and praise his food. And it was a bigger waste to think that he'd ever be really glorified in any way by that man. "It's my fault."

 

He wasn't about to cut his hand again, and he fished up the cuts quickly, keeping the knife away, "Um. Can you start covering them with the flour? Just put each one in the four container one at a time and flip it over. And get it on them really good..." He took the oil and moved to the stove to start heating up the oil.

[grizzly]

"You know, we can call it a night after this." He felt like the both of them needed space from each other, but he needed it the most. He felt like there was still tension even though Kou reassured him that he wasn't to blame. Suddenly the idea of having his favorite food was spoiled and he wanted to go to his room and finish the rest of his work. It wasn't like he needed to finish math all in one night. He had to focus on science for class tomorrow because of the quizzes he missed. It was just that math was his weakest subject and he wanted to tackle it head on. He thought about the people in his class and wondered if he could convince one of them to tutor him. Maybe he could even charm one of the cute girls to do it.

 

"I'll go to my room and study for my science quiz tomorrow after this." The black haired teen said as he grabbed the chicken. Hiroto distracted himself with the task of covering the meat in flour. There was no way he could mess that up, and if he did... Then he really needed to reevaluate his future. He continued to accomplish the task with no obstacle and returned them to Kou. He felt an itch on his nose and wiped the area, only to unsuspected rub some of the flour there.

[Coffee-Tastic]

"Yeah, okay. Good." Kou felt like distance would be good as well, hoping that he could finish his own homework and read his book with some better level of comfort. He shouldn't bother his brother by going in there and sleeping on his bed again, which... He didn't understand how he actually managed to do that anymore. Kou might have left if he wasn't trapped with having his brother lean on his shoulder. Sure he can think that, but he wouldn't have left if that was the case either.

 

Oil on the pan and heating up, he looked over at Hiro's work and nodded. If he couldn't do this, he would have really needed to reevaluate his future... He still was quiet, but he was going to tell his younger brother something, that he was able to at least do something the right way. Not only might that have made him upset, getting a good look at Hiro and his new white, powdery mustache. Oh... Well then.... Kou was not expecting to see that right now. He laughed and looked away, covering his mouth loosely with his hand, "You... Hiro... you have something on your face... Haha!"

 

He couldn't help it. It was as if things were too serious in the air and it was fated for something to bring them back together in some way. It was something silly to find funny, but Kou barely found things funny. Only silly, unexpected things like this could sneak past the cracks of his wall and target him directly in his tummy, the center of his laugh.

[grizzly]

Hiroto tilted his head out of confusion when Kou bursted out laughing. "What? What is it?" He asked while looking over his shoulder. Nothing out of place was in view, but Kou mentioned his face. He rubbed his face only to get more flour on his face. If it looked like a mustache then, it was more of a beard now. He was concerned with his face since he held it in high regards, but it warmed his heart to hear his brother laugh for the first time in... Wow, it really has been a long time since the last time he saw his brother laugh.

 

He grabbed a spoon and saw the mess on his face and felt laughter bubbling up in him as well. "Think that's funny, huh?" He quickly moved over to place a bit on Kou's nose as well, hoping he was still in a playful mood.

[Coffee-Tastic]

With even more white powder on his face, Kou was doomed and he felt like it wouldn't be so easy to stop now. He closed his eyes for a second, only to feel his younger brother touch his nose. Of course a dab on the nose wasn't as bad as having a beard on his face made of flour, but if Hiro thought he wouldn't retaliate back for that anyways, he'd be wrong. "Yes. Hilarious actually." Kou took a step closer for the powder and got some on two of his fingers. Smearing it over Hiro's cheek, he gave him a smug look before cracking up again. Sure he told his pupil not to be wasting things in the kitchen... This was okay though. He forgot about his own rule and momentarily about the other kind of pain inside of him.

 

"Thats what you get. It wasn't my fault you lost your focus and did that to yourself." Going after him, he was sure to get something back. Preparing for it, he braced again, just like when his brother came towards him with anger, except he wasn't expecting a punch. For a long time the only fights they had were verbal and physical. It was nostalgic to be able to counter back something at Hiro with a smile and not a frown.

[grizzly]

"Looks like you're not the only one spacing out then," he said in retaliation with another swipe at Kou's chin, giving him a funny looking soul patch. He wished he had more flour on his fingers to give him a full goatee, knowing it would look so out of place on his brother's face. They could go at it all day with how much flour they had, so he decided to change tactics and quickly wiped the remaining flour onto his shorts before reaching over to tickle Kou. He was already feeling the nostalgia from when they were kids and how they would have these play fights all the time. Hiroto was always the ticklish one, so he was often the one being the focus of a tickle fight.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou was glad that at least Hiro strayed away from powder on his own, because he didn't realize that they were playing with something so messy until his younger brother wiped the whiteness off on his shorts. Though, it wasn't like he was too relieved to be in the midst of a tickle attack. Kou laughed, oddly more over the fact that he was already laughing and having some fun, but, of course, he didn't back away knowing he wasn't the one who pissed his pants over a little tickling like Hiro did when they were younger. He had his weakness now and Kou took advantage of that, getting closer to him and striking him with tickles at his sides, looking at his brother again with a cheeky look.

[grizzly]

Brute force may have been his strong suit over his older brother, but he was too weak to the attacks coming from Kou. He immediately seized up and attempted to back away, only to be cornered into the kitchen counters. "Kou!" He cried out in between laughs. Tears were already lining his green eyes and he crossed his arms, hoping it would hinder the tickle attacks. It obviously didn't.

 

"Okay, stop, stop, stop," he repeated as he squirmed around, trying to avoid Kou's hands. He wasn't five with an uncontrollable bladder anymore-thank the lord-but he was already feeling like he was going to collapse. Their tickle fights used to end when Hiro would accidentally hit Kou or when he had inevitably wet his pants. He didn't want to end their current one with either and ended up backing further into the kitchen counters, feeling like a trapped animal.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou couldn't believe how he hadn't seen Hiroto like this in such a long time. He forgot how empowering it was to have the big tough guy squirming and begging and crying under his fingertips... That sounded very sexual and sadistic, Kou was only one of those two things though. The pleasure of power he got went to his heart and in his smirk, "Stop what? You're ticklish Hiro? You like it here?" Kou didn't care if he was shorter than his younger brother, having him cornered up made him feel several feet taller.

 

"If you want me to stop, you're going to have to beg," relentlessly tickling, Kou gave no change of him escaping, not unless he got Hiro to do something he'd never do. It wasn't crazy how during tickle fights, he really showed how much he liked to see the black haired sibling like this. "Beg and say lots of nice things, Hiro~ haha!"

[grizzly]

Like hell he was going to beg. Sure Hiro reached an ultimate low by almost failing his classes, but begging was something he would never NEVER resort to. Except for the time he begged that one girl to date him in middle school and they broke up after five minutes, but that is besides the point. Granting someone like Kou to see him this vulnerable, it turned a switch in him that made him want to cower in his room. He had to turn the tables if he wanted what was left of his dignity back.

 

"I said stop!" He yelled out and grabbed Kou by his arms, gripping them tightly to keep them from moving. When he was younger he never imagined owning up to his brother's strength, and yet their physiques were so much more different now that the years have passed. He spun Kou around to switch positions and he backed his brother up into the corner, moving their body's closer until he was practically breathing on his face. He suddenly regretted his sudden burst of energy now that he was in an awkward position, but it was that familiar tightness in his pants that definitely made him want to shrink and hide in a hole forever. His ears turned red almost instantly and he was sure his face was as red as the stained towel from earlier.

[Coffee-Tastic]

He didn't expect to be yelled at, but it wasn't really something he shouldn't have...? They were just playing but his brother had grabbed his arms very tightly and he was put into the corner that he quickly didn't find very nice either. Except he wasn't being tickled, Hiro's face was right in his own, which was clearly going past his personal space. Kou's eyes were wide now from the quick turn of events and with his eyes taking in more he got front row seats to witness how his younger brothers was blushing dark red up to his ears.

 

If it weren't for him being so close and being so flustered for whatever reason, he wouldn't be feeling his heart so clearly in his chest. Kou stared at his brother even more intensely with confusion when he swore he felt something he shouldn't be feeling on him. All he heard in his head was static, no thoughts, for once but he found a few words eventually, "What are you d-"

 

Hssss!

 

It turns out the static wasn't static. It was the pan of heating oil getting louder and louder to the point of it hissing. Kou snapped out of it and quickly shoved Hiro out of his way to get back to the oven to tone down the heat. Even away from his brother, he still felt blood being pumped in his chest big time, "I'm going to call you when everything is done. Just... I don't know. Just Go do the work or..." or go deal with whatever just happened in your shorts, he thought "or whatever." He didn't look at him, but in his voice, it was clear he was trying to pretend none of that happened, except he couldn't help but also sound clueless and angry. He was angry because he was clueless.

[grizzly]

Hiroto was already trembling by the time he was shoved away. "I, uh," he tried to desperately search for an excuse, but how could he explain it when even he didn't understand why his body was reacting the way it was. Knowing he had fucked up miserably, he knew he had no reason to stick around. He wanted to smack himself for just how stupid he was and he scurried over to his room. Opening his door, he slammed it behind him and jumped into his bed again, ignoring how loud it was when the frame pounded against the wall.

 

Maybe he was never meant to be close with his family, like it was predestined by some cruel higher being. He must be one huge joke in their eyes, because he only felt shame and a certain pinch in his boxer briefs. If the food was burned, he would have some hell to pay, but it wasn't like it could be any worse than rubbing his half-mast all over his brother's leg. He rolled over onto his side and covered his face with his pillow to muffle his groans. He guessed his body was acting up since it was a while since the last time he got lucky, but he had a premonition that it had to be something much worse, because life was just that unfair.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou stood there at the stovetop, blankly staring at the bubbling oil, which was starting to ease down after he turned off the flame. He messed up and cut his finger when he thought about their dad, but what about now? He might burn himself for not focusing because of whatever just happened. What did happen? He understood they were playing around for once, but then Hiro came back at him and then they were all of a sudden so damn close. It still would have been awkward in that position since his face was burning red, but on top of that, there was the hardness he felt on him from his brothers crotch. Not his pocket, his crotch. What the hell?! What was that supposed to mean?! Why??

 

Obviously he knew what it meant. He got excited somehow... From the tickling? That sounded so weird. Kou put his hand on his head and sighed loudly, unable to keep it in him, "Dinner. Making dinner..." He shook his head and started to do what he does, except his mind was still running on questions and attempts of understanding why it happened. Hiro could have just legitimately reacted that way from tickling. Bizarre... Hiro could have just missed having a girl in his arms at night, so he got that way because of it. Kou wasn't a girl though and the last time he checked, he didn't look like one either. It was a better explanation than the tickling though. Hiro could have reacted that way because... No, it probably was that reason. Nothing else made sense.

 

Kou rubbed his leg to erase the feeling of having a boner touching him, then really did go on to cooking again. When it was done, he made sure to prepare it on two plates, leaving their dad out for once, and put them on the table with cups. The only thing that was needed was two people to sit down in a chair. Kou planned to pretend that didn't happen, ignore he ever felt anything, and act like he hadn't seen Hiroto's face blushing a ripe red. If he didn't come to the table, he'd understand. He also wouldn't mind. "Hiro! It's done!"

[grizzly]

Not enough time had passed to make their awkward encounter a joke, so just what could he do to assuage the embarrassment? He thought of bringing up how it had been a while since he was with a girl, but Kou was anything but a girl. Did that make him gay? Oh no, if he was gay, he wouldn't know what to do. Out of panic, Hiro jumped out of his bed and towards his laptop on his desk.

 

He never resorted to watching porn, but desperate times call for desperate measures. He simply typed in "gay porn"", feeling his stomach flip from anxiousness. It was an awful experience watching two hairy men go at it like animals, and he wondered if Kou looked at him with the same disgust as he did the video. At least his boner died along with his dignity. When he had heard his name being called out, he scurried to close the browser and laptop. "Just a moment," he yelled back.

 

He still didn't come up with a good enough excuse, but he could always go with the "raging teenage hormones" route. He moved over to the mirror on his wall and practiced his poker face before heading back into the kitchen, pretending that nothing happened like what Kou was sure to also do. "Smells great," he told Kou and sat down to look at the meal. The food was slightly scorched, but Kou's ingenuity and skill saved the meat. He tried his best to focus on his food and leave, but he noticed the area where a third plate should be was then void. It reminded him that their father was still gone and the thought was sour enough to affect even his tastes for his favorite dish.

[Coffee-Tastic]

"I does, you're right, " he muttered in response before putting his fork in his mouth for a bite of cheesy meat. Kou didn't look at Hiro other than giving him one glance, looking at his place while he had it instead. He really didn't want to hear any explanations for what happened, choosing to forget the whole ordeal instead because he didn't like the idea of not knowing something, and when it came to dirty things regarding dirty stuff, he'd rather keep it that way. But not once was he thinking his brother as disgusting or gross. If he was gay, or whatever was the case, Kou didn't belong in his business. For instance, he didn't want to know what his brother was doing in order to get rid of his boner.

 

He didn't know what to say, or if he just shouldn't say anything at all. Taking a small two seconds to look at Hiro again, he saw how he was taking notice to their missing father. Kou wouldn't say how he contemplated giving up a portion of his plate to the empty chair before setting the table, but he should note something he tried to say before. The brunet opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again and gained a small furrow in his eyebrows. After a pause, he said it, "I think you were right before," he said, still keeping his eyes on his plate, "that I shouldn't be wasting food by making an extra serving for dad. I'm sorry that I didn't acknowledge your point before... It's important not to waste our resources, because if he doesn't come back in next few days, I'll have to go grocery shopping and stuff. So yeah."

[grizzly]

Hiroto fidgeted with the chopsticks in his hands, fumbling around as though he had somehow forgotten how to use them. Despite his face being covered by a veneer of disinterest, his body was always the honest one. At this point, he wished he was his usual aloof self. He usually didn't care what other's would think of him, unless it was a cute girl with rosy cheeks. Looking over at Kou, he was anything but cute, and yet he was having dreams of the plain tasteless guy that is his own brother.

 

He huffed and bit into another piece of cheesy meat, ignoring the string of cheese that was stuck to his lip. He found no comfort in the silence as always, but silence was better than a reprimand for being a pervert. Though, a reprimand was far from what Kou had for Hiroto, so he placed the chopsticks down onto his plate to finally wipe away the food from his face.

 

"It's okay," he said while looking out the window. He could barely see the driveway, but it wouldn't matter because the black car that was their father's wouldn't be there. Maybe it was best that way, so he couldn't be home to disappoint them even more. "You were only doing what you thought was best, so it's not your fault." He allowed his gaze to linger through the window before he stood up from the table. "Dinner was great," he said while looking over to his brother. His lips were in a firm line to keep his poker face aligned, and he peered over to his door for escape. "I would help you with the dishes, but I think I seriously need to work on my school work."

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou was keen on observation and he easily picked up that Hiro really wanted to run and hide in his rabbit hole again. He couldn't blame him for wanting that, but the way his brother looked over at his room, it made him feel like he shouldn't give him a break. Be it a way to torture him and watch him struggle to explain what happened or the result of having a small part of him want to ask him directly why he had an erection so he didn't have to think about it anymore. Kou didn't know what he wanted to say, he didn't know if he should not say anything either, he just knew this might be his last chance to speak about something before Hiro went into his room for, he guessed, would be the whole night until morning. He even bet his brother would leave early again just to avoid his presence, just like this morning. He still didn't know why that was the case.

 

"Youre right. And I always do the dishes anyways, so its not a problem," he was a slow eater so he wasn't finished yet, he just stayed sitting down, looking at Hiroto after a sip of his water. Kou put his elbow on the side of the table and put his cheek on his hand. He kept looking at him, but he wasn't saying anything. The brunet was giving himself one last chance to decide on what to say or do. With a sigh, he ended his thoughts, sitting up and also looking away now, "You can do your work in your own room again, but if you have any questions, I still expect you to ask questions if you need help... I don't know what happened," he felt like he didn't need to state what he was referring to at this moment, "But I'm still your tutor that's supposed to help you not get kicked out of school. So don't avoid me. As far as things goes, nothing happened. I'm sure you appreciate that."

 

Kou glanced at Hiro again and gestured the door, "You don't need to reply to me, just do as I say and go hide away in your room again." As far as he was concerned, this younger brother's room wasn't a room. It was more closely related to a bomb shelter. A rabbit hole, as he mentioned in his head before. A hiding place that a child runs to at the start of the game of hide-and-seek that everyone is already aware of... However, he might as well be saying that about himself an his room as well.

[grizzly]

Hiroto was already walking away from the table until Kou broke the silence. He felt a sliver of guilt for letting his emotions get in the way of his brother's hospitality. All Kou was doing was helping him, by making sure he wouldn't be the same as his mother; a person who lives solely on expenses of others. Along with that guilt, he felt angry for being called out on his behavior when he tried so hard to cover it, to snuff it like the flame of his last cigarette.

 

He took his brother's advice and nodded his head, biting his tongue to keep any rude comments to himself. He moved back to his room, trying to keep his exposure as he did so. He heard stories of people dying of embarrassment, just how much more could he take until he keels over? He had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all and grabbed his phone that lied on his bed. He scrolled through plenty of unread messages to know that while he was being progressive in his academics, his friends were still far from it.

 

When he tired of the messages, he moved over to his desk. His bag was propped up nest to the side of the desk and he reached for his science textbook to review the chapters once more for the next day. Biology wasn't as hard as he imagined, but the chemistry book that was still in his bag proved that science was also not his strongest suit. It was just those damn numbers that confused him; anything with math or numbers drove him up the wall.