Try for Change (Coffee-Tastic and grizzly) [18+]

[grizzly]

Hiroto shook his head in disbelief. There was no way he could be thinking straight, after all Kou was still adamant that he stayed. It was as if the thought of him lusting after him didn't bother him in the least. It both relieved and worried Hiroto to think that Kou was alright with staying with him, despite the odds. "You," he said while moving his hand to nervously rub the back of his neck, "don't have to beg. I'm not making this a bigger issue than it already is. I'm trying to keep it from getting any worse, but I'll stay." He let his arm drop lifelessly to his side with a sigh and bit his lip.

 

He'll stay for Kou's sake, but more importantly for his own. The idea of separating himself from Kou was terrible enough, but to see Kou so torn over it made it impossible for him to do. He wished the whole ordeal never happened, but if this fight never happened, how else could he have thoroughly explained his strange behavior? He was in love with his brother, and he was worried of ruining Kou's life even more. If he stayed with Kou, no doubt his brother would never be able to lead the normal life he always wanted. To have a perfect family, to get what he could never have.

 

"I'll stay with you, but keep in mind that I'll pursue you." He closed his eyes momentarily, already regretting the words that slipped from his mouth. He was impulsive by nature, but he was pushing the wrong buttons. But he wanted to scare Kou off, to make him think more of what was going on. When he opened his eyes, he closed his fists to give himself the courage to look at Kou, to finalize his statement.

[Coffee-Tastic]

And there it was, finally something he wanted to hear. Hiro would stay. Like with a snap of magic fingers, Kou's eyes calmed and he took a breath. Today was the day he'd never though he see, where he was thankful that Hiro would stay with him. He was sure he'd feel the shame and pathetic mess of the after effects of this conversation, but he wouldn't actually regret it. This was what he wanted and if this conversation never happened, it would have been worse for the two of them. Kou didn't care about the losing feeling Hiroto must feel now that he's given up the fight, he was glad because actually, he was thinking how he himself would be the one make this explode, not his brother.

 

Kou was thinking of how to thank his younger sibling for this... Coming up with something was harder than he thought since he was still in a way telling Hiro he was okay with the romantic feelings he felt for him, which was definitely not normal. He might have hugged him, but that might turn on Hiro. It's not that he didn't have faith in him, it's just that Kou always saw him as a pervert in a way, which didn't change. Hiro might not like it either anyways. Coming out of his thoughts with his brother saying something that solidified his choice not to hug him, he blinked.

 

Pursue? In what way did that mean? Like how a guy pursues a girl and tries to hit on them...? Or something else Kou wasn't keen on? "I'll keep that in mind." He reasoned back after seeing his brother's gaze, now asking bluntly, "What else should I keep in mind? I don't want to seduce you by mistake. I want to know what things to avoid to prevent your excitement." Not even a blush had come on his face in saying something like that. In fact, his cheeks hadn't changed color once in this talk, not even after being kissed. It just further shows how indifferent Kou still was with certain things normal people would react to. This still was Kou here after all. Looking off, thinking, he thought out loud to himself in a mumble, "Tickling is one... That gave you an erection quickly didn't it..."

[grizzly]

On the outside, Hiroto may seem somewhat collected and calm, but it was obvious he was anything but that. The slight tremor in his hands gave it away so blatantly, but he still kept his face taut with no expression. But all it took was Kou's blunt questions that had him place his finger over his mouth with urgency, as though people were somehow listening to their conversation. "Don't say that," he whispered harshly with embarrassment staining his cheeks crimson again. Even though he did bring up the scene from the kitchen, he didn't want the memory to linger.

 

"Just-I don't know-keep some distance?" He wasn't sure what it was in Kou that made his palms sweaty and his tongue feel dry. Last time he checked, tickling wasn't a turn on for him either. He was sure Kou was just as confused as he was, if not more. Kou never experienced any bit of romance, so he probably wouldn't know what Hiroto was going through. Though, Hiroto may just as well be as clueless as his brother. All he had were flings that never lasted a week. This warmth that kept his heart beating fast and skipping beats was only something he experienced with Kou, and it seemed to get worst the more the two were together.

 

Hiroto ran his hand through his hair and turned his attention to the phone on his bed. It was blinking, which meant Fujihiro must have replied. "I'll let Fujihiro know that I don't need his tutoring anymore," he told Kou as he grabbed the phone. Just as he thought, he could see the nerd reply to him with a time to come over. He responded to alert him that he was no longer needed.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou would have to keep his distance then? He took that and saw how it would be impossible to go to sleep together in the same bed again, no more play fighting either. That truly was a shame considering he felt like those made him very happy before, but if that's what must be avoided, then so be it... Though keeping distance still did sound over the top. How attracted to him was his brother for it to make it hard be close? Kou was baffled by anything regarding love and even with his brother being infatuated with him, he still didn't have too much of a desire to know how it felt to love someone. Sweaty palms, dry throat, racing heart, those were also signs of illness and they didn't seem like a pleasure to have when in love.

 

"... Fujihiro? You were going to help from him?" He asked, sounding insulted, crossing his arms, "Have you seen the difference of scores we have, Hiroto? I know he's smart, but you really are a fool for thinking you'll any kind of help from that person." Harsh, yes... Fujihiro almost played a part in stealing his brother way, of course he wouldn't like him, and on top of that, he always got sense he was disliked from that kid. Well... Kou was a lot smarter than him, so he could see where that was coming from... This dislike he felt wasn't actually real and was just another false assumption he had about someone else. "But anyways, Hiro. Thank you for staying..."

 

He turned around and grabbed the handle of the door to leave, "What do you want for dinner? I can order pizza or cook whatever you want. Consider it an extension my thank you..." Opening the door halfway, he looked back at Hiro, staring at him for a response, almost looking like a deer halfway off the road, looking at the car behind it that was waiting for it to go away.

[grizzly]

"Well," he said with a shrug. "He is the top of my class, but I see your point." Hiroto checked his phone once more to see that Fujihiro did not appreciate having his time wasted, which was completely understandable. But now Kou was his priority, next his grades that is. Though, he did need a new friend that wasn't going to drag him down to the pathetic-ness that his former "friends" were. Next to the text message he received from Fujihiro were texts from said hooligans, who were pestering him about his sudden absence. All of which were ignored, so it was no wonder that the band of misfits gave up on the teen.

 

When he saw Kou head to the door, he almost wanted to grab his wrist to keep him in. After all that work he invested to stay away from Kou, he didn't think he could do any more running away. And he most certainly wouldn't be able to handle rejection from Kou, so he had to stay on his tippy-toes on the thin barrier of ice he was now treading on with his brother. He loved Kou, but not in the way Kou loved him-not in the way any brother should feel towards their kin.

 

"Dinner?" He said while tossing his phone aside to give his full attention to his brother. He was acting like a puppy begging for attention from it's master, but he didn't want to make that obvious and immediately straightened his back. "I'm fine with whatever's easy." He didn't offer to help cooking with what happened last time running through his head. A slight blush crossed his cheeks and he hoped Kou wouldn't catch on to the reason why. "I'll be in here if you need me. I need to get ready for school and finish up on my homework." He moved over to his desk to collect a couple of pencils and books, coalescing the items into a pile on the table.

[Coffee-Tastic]

It could be easy just to go for leftovers from the casserole, but Kou wasn't in the mood for food that was only half as good from when it was originally done, so the next easiest thing to do was just order for pizza. That's what he came to when Hiroto gave him the choice, though when he looked at his face next, there was a blush across it with his brother then explaining he was going to "get ready for school and finish up on my homework". Kou stood there for a few more moments, staring and studying him. Why was he blushing for something like that? Oh. Was he going to masturbate or something after being so close to him before? They did kiss. Maybe Hiro was holding back a lot. "... Don't worry. I won't bother you until foods ready," he muttered, blinking and turning out of the room with the conclusion that was actually worse than the real reason his brother was flustered.

 

Even thinking of that, all he told himself was not to come back to the room in the next 5- 15 minutes. A lot of things about this should bother the brunet, but it just didn't, he didn't care much for it because he got what he wanted. Having Hiro hate him to the core was worse to Kou than being loved in this way, so why exactly should he complain? In fact, knowing that Hiro felt this way meant that he wouldn't leave him, right? It was just more security that he wouldn't be alone. Kou didn't even have to love his brother back in the same way. He'd say that he got the good end of the stick and it might be advantageous to himself as well... He might not love him the same way, but it wouldn't be the truth to say that Kou didn't get some level of satisfaction from being able to make his brother embarrassed and weak just from being near him.

 

Entering in his room with a much better mood than before, Kou found his phone to go ahead and dial for a regular large pizza. It's not like they ordered so often that they he had to put the number in his phone book. Every mother needs their break and wants to just simply order and so does Kou... His phone book only consisted of the pizza place, Hiroto and the emails of his teachers for when he had questions about homework. He didn't really use any of these contacts all that much.

[grizzly]

Hiroto turned away from Kou, pretending not to understand the context of his last statement while he tended to the supplies on his desk. When he heard the door shut behind him, he finally placed his fingertips on his lips. It seemed too surreal that not even a couple of minutes ago that his lips touched Kou's. He was happy, but he was also very worried for the sake of his brother. His brother was so adamant on him staying that the kiss didn't even faze him. Would he even stop him in the future? Would Hiroto be able to do more than kiss and get away with it?

 

No, he shouldn't think of that at the moment. Not when his stomach was still lurching and his heart was still beating so hard for his head to pound. He would never push Kou to do something he didn't want, and so blackmail was something he had to push away. He wouldn't threaten Kou of running away just to have his way with him, but the idea seemed too tempting. He had to prove to both Kou and himself that he was a better person than he was a week ago. To think he had made such progress in such a short amount of time eased his anxiety enough for him to focus on the work in his textbook.

 

While working, he never heard clatter in the kitchen as usual. Either Kou ordered some food or he was just going to serve leftovers. Both sounded good at the moment since his nausea completely dissipated and was replaced with a growing appetite. He continued to indulge himself to the out of place silence in his room until he heard the doorbell ring, which confirmed his guess of Kou ordering food.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Half an hour in his homework and the delivery guy had come knowing on the door. He had been listening to his music without headphones exactly because he didn't want to block out the doorbell, and just in case Hiroto came to his door for whatever reason. He had put a 20 on the side for this, so he grabbed it up and walked for the door. Paying the man, letting him take the change, Kou carried the box to the table, calling out as he went to the kitchen, "Hiroto, come out to eat!" He really didn't wonder if his brother actually did what he though he did when he left the room. It was gross... Not Hiroto doing things thinking about him, just in general. It was a dirty act and only deprived people masturbated. And Hiro was very deprived if he was thinking about him that way at all.

 

After taking out two plates from the cupboard, Kou fixed up two glasses of iced tea from the fridge. What he didn't think about while concentrating on his work was how things might change between them and as well as what he would have to do with himself. So they wouldn't stay close together then too much huh? That wasn't too bad. What he didn't want was for Hiroto to keep himself in his room at all times, because then what difference was it if he was gone or that? Kou was only okay with adjusting for a while, but his brother was the one who had to control himself, because it wasn't going to be his fault for what happens if he so much as looks at him the wrong way. Surely he'd just move on. And he was going to allow his brother to do something that might help. And when he saw his brother, he didn't change his neutral expression not one bit, but he had gestured the dinner table with his eyes and the tilt of his head, "Sit down, were eating together. Let's 'chat'."

[grizzly]

He got out of his seat when he heard his name being called. He wondered for a moment what Kou could've ordered, but when he entered the living room, it was obvious that Kou ordered pizza. The smell of cheese was already mingling in the air, making his mouth water. He scratched his stomach under his shirt and stood dumbfounded in front of the dining table, not sure of how to take Kou's blank canvas of a face. He was already a terrible reader when it came to books, but he guessed it was the same when it came to reading faces.

 

"Pizza," he said while sitting in the seat Kou had gestured to. "Nice choice." He focused all of his attention on the pizza, grabbing a couple of slices and placing them on a plate. He was careful about not letting grease drip anywhere before he folded it in half to take a bite. He heard Kou the first time when he said 'chat', but that was the last thing on his mind. He was waiting on dinner for a while, and he wasn't ready for his appetite to disappear because of some intervention of some sorts. He hoped Kou wouldn't confront him on the kiss from earlier. Or what he meant by he would be going after Kou. He said those words on impulse, like everything else he did. It was no wonder that he was his mother's son.

 

"So I told Fujihiro that I won't be able to make it to tutoring, but he's insisting that I at least take some of the notes he had taken from last week. So he'll be coming home with me tomorrow." He sipped from his glass of ice tea to wash down some of his food before he took in another bite of his hot pizza. He had to breath through his mouth to let it cool down since he was too impatient to let the pizza cool on its own.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Taking a seat down across from Hiro, he took a slice for himself and let it stay on his plate to drink some of his tea first, his pause being worth it because Hiroto spoke first. Listening that it was more on Fujihiro, Kou had to keep from rolling his eyes, instead, he blinked slowly and looked off to the side with a sigh, putting his glass down, "Fine." Only saying that, it was more like he had heard his brother ask him for permission and was giving him an "ok" rather than hearing Hiro let him know what was going to happen...

 

More than Hiro, Kou felt more of a sense of responsibility and for that, the house belonged more to him than his younger brother. On top of that, who was going to be the one writing out to pay the bills? Himself... It should be his decision to say who comes over and who doesn't. Fujihiro wasn't a delinquent at least, but he still didn't like him because he was also smart. Why did he have to come over anyways? If he wanted Hiro to have his notes, he would have just given them to him during school... The only reason he was allowing this was because he had other things he wanted to talk about first.

 

Picking up his pizza for a bite, he looked up over to his brother, staring at him unintentionally. This was just him waiting to properly chew and swallow his bite. When he swallowed, he went right to the point without any hesitation or second thoughts, "I was thinking that if you want to sleep with girls like you used to, then you can. I still encourage that you use protection and all too... Since I took you away from girls, I thought maybe that was why you lust for me. So it is somewhat my responsibility. And that's why I'd allow it. I really do suggest you find one girl who is clean to use. It's safer that way." He said and took another bite of his pizza.

 

Nothing like accidental feminine discrimination to remind his brother more of his problems right after suggesting he should find a fuck buddy... He doesn't have anything against girls, he just lacked a tad bit of humanity in the way his mind worked.

[grizzly]

Hiroto slowed down the pace with his food when he heard Kou sigh. He didn't know why he told Kou in the first place, but he figured Kou should know who's coming over to their house. Now that their father was gone, it seemed like Kou was the person in authority. He didn't replace his father, but rather took all of the man's responsibilities, as well as their absent mother. He knew Kou was doing more than just cooking, cleaning, and studying. The only reason the place was still flowing with electricity and water must be because he's doing the bills too. Or at least he's going to be. It was melancholic to think of his brother doing all of the work himself. He never had the chance to grow up. He was forced to be an adult the moment mother left, which would explain why he's so motherly in a sense. Maybe that was why he worried so much over Hiroto. Maybe that was why he loved Kou the way he did. After all, he did go after women who reminded him of the woman who's attention he craved the most in life.

 

Hiroto was deep in thought, but Kou's voice brought him back to reality. He choked on a bit of his pizza and reached for the ice tea. "Where'd you get that idea?" He sputtered while tapping on his chest. "It's not your fault that I'm the way I am now. It's just that," he peered into the bronze liquid of his ice tea and swirled it and looked back to Kou. "Nobody else will work for me." He expected his ears to get red as usual, but for once, he was calm. Maybe it was because he was beginning to come to terms that he was interested in Kou, or maybe he was becoming desensitized to the bold personality his brother had.

 

"Anyways, I'll take care of the dishes on my own after we're done. It's about time you take a small break for once. I'm guessing dad isn't coming back to take care of the bills." He knew better than to look at the parking lot, knowing well that their father's car was not going to somehow magically be there.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Saying that nobody else could work for him was odd to hear Hiro saying after being witness to him leaving the house all the time to hangout with his friends and sleep with a different girl every night, as he suspected and hear his brother brag about. He was the one mocking him for being a virgin... But now he only wanted one person. It was at least good to know that if he didn't want anyone else, that meant he wouldn't catch any diseases. He'd probably congratulate Hiroto on not being a man whore any long if he wasn't his love interest. "Well if you say so," he mumbled back his response with little care, eating more of his slice... But hearing that was good for him. More reassurance, the better.

 

Though he liked being able to say words that would probably get his brother to react, it was his turn when his brother coughed up "dad " out his mouth. His hazel eyes lowered slightly, "I have the money for it. I've done them before too," he shrugged, "And if you call the dishes a small break, then fine. Thank you I guess... You'll be sparing me five minutes that I could be using for throwing out the trash instead or cleaning the bathroom, or sweeping and mopping the floors or..." Kou stopped with a petty chuckle, sighing more gently, "But I don't need a break. I need something to do when I'm not studying and when my homework is done. I appreciate the small effort though you should focus more on studies." Anyways, Hiro wouldn't probably be able to a good job at cleaning, not compared to how he cleans... Despite this, he did know that before, he liked to complain how he doesn't help around the house. That was just for the sake of having something to be upset about.

[grizzly]

"I can help you with those chores too. I live here too, so I should pitch in here and there. You can think of it as me earning my keep I guess." He stood up from the table, his plate already empty from his usual speedy eating. "I know I don't help around as much as I should, so I'll do the stuff that doesn't require much effort-like cooking." He grabbed his plate and walked towards the sink, turning the water on to get started on washing his dish.

 

"I'll take care of the garbage too, so we can have more time together." Hiroto bit his tongue, already regretting his last statement, but he really did want to spend more time with Kou. But he didn't want to make Kou uncomfortable. It didn't take a lot of pointing out for Hiroto to acknowledge that he was a bit of a sleaze, but he didn't want to put that on his brother. But he just can't get enough of Kou's pink lips. "But only if you want to," he finished as he began to pump soap from the dispenser.

 

It didn't take Hiroto long to wash a single plate. He wanted to let Kou enjoy his pizza, so he decided on washing the rest of the dishes later and went on to do as he promised by grabbing the trash from the garbage. There wasn't much trash to throw away, at least not as much as the time he had cleaned out his room. So taking it to the outside to dispose of was too easy. All these chores Kou had to do weren't too hard, but when added all up together, they were time consuming. Cooking was a completely different story, one that'd he'd like to avoid since he was never going to be cut out to be a chef.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou had begged/forced Hiro to stay, so earning his keep wasn't necessary at all, but it was cute that he was attempting to give himself a reason to do something. Garbage, dishes, that kind of stuff, he supposed there wasn't a way he could mess that up badly and he did see the how nice and clean yesterday's dishes were. Cooking though, no, he wasn't letting Hiro ravage his kitchen. He couldn't cook to save his life... And it didn't seem like he'd ever try to learn with him again after what happened last time.

 

 

As for the time they might share together after things were done. If he was done with his homework and he did a good amount of studying or reading... Sure. "I'll think about it." He said before finishing off his first slice, being a slow eater not like Hiroto, and watching his brother was in the kitchen, inspecting his performance in washing a dish... Maybe they can play video games again, childish for him, but it might be fun, or a movie even. Kou was only starting to consider these things because he was liking the old feeling he got from spending time with his brother.

 

Grabbing his second slice, he pursed his lips for a moment before speaking, "I guess if you wanted to play a game, we can do that if you hook it up. It'll have to be after we're done with things... But I say okay." giving Hiro his cheek as he faced away, he bit his pizza. Gosh. Hiro ate fast and he usually ate more than him. Kou didn't like admitting that he was one step behind his brother in grown, but that was natural for being the older brother.

[grizzly]

The idea of playing games with Kou like they did in his youth brought a smile to his face. He wondered if their old game station was still able to run after collecting so much dust in his room. When he cleaned his room he was able to find all of the cables to the machine, including all of the games. He figured the only way he could find out was to test the machine later when he had the time. When he returned he placed a new bag in the trash can and walked over to his room to get started on working on the machine.

 

When he entered his room, he let his eyes wander over the clear floor and to the new sheets on his bed. His room was so much more different now that he cleaned it up, plus it didn't smell so bad. He looked over to the ash tray on his nightstand and realized it was the first time he saw it empty in so long. He tried so hard to give up on smoking, and so far he was sticking to it. He tried to focus his cravings onto other things, but it seemed like he latched all of his attention to his brother. He contemplated on whether or not he should have one smoke before he decided not to since Kou might be coming into his room again. He began to feel self-conscious of his room and began to tidy it up some more, spraying some room deodorant in the air while he opened the window to fan out the chemicals.

 

The books on his desk were still laid open, but he needed a break to reward himself for his unwavering dedication so far. How he didn't give up already was something he had trouble finding the answer to himself. He shrugged away the thought and looked under his bed to grab a bin that contained an old Nintendo system with everything it needed to run. It still had some dust on it, but not as bad as before he found it the first time. Plugging it into his tv and to the outlet, he was surprised to see the loading menu to Super Mario World when he changed the channel. He remembered playing it with Kou as a kid and arguing over who played Mario. And of course the two fought since the game did require some teamwork and tactics. Hiroto was always the one to run out of lives first, but that was because he always rushed ahead into the face of danger.

 

Happy with the results he had from the station, he headed over to Kou's room. "Hey Kou?" He said while tapping on the door. "I'm done with my homework and I got the old Nintendo station to work again. If you want to join me, my door's unlocked." Hiroto didn't stay to wait for Kou, immediately leaving to go back to his room to make sure it was clean enough for Kou.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Though Kou faced away from his brother, his eyes went back to get a glimpse at Hiro to see his reaction. That kind of smile on his face was quite infectious but he had chewing as his distraction from his own lips moving into a grin because of his brother. He'd love to say how childish it was to be so excited to play video games, but he dared not to say that when he wanted to play with Hiroto like several years ago. He'd never play any game souly on his own, most of it came from wanting to do other things beneficial to his intelligence, but yeah, there was a bit of him that wouldn't play on his own because he knew it wouldn't be as fun by himself without someone else, more specifically his brother. Sure they fought a lot... but Kou felt like that was supposed to happen. No matter what, he still had the overall memory of it being a fun time.

 

Fun? Sheesh, what's happening to me... Kou chuckled to himself when he got back to his own room, "What nostalgia." Sitting on his bed, he looked down at himself and only now realized that he was still practically wearing the school uniform minus the shoes and the blazer. So before getting back into his textbooks, he put on thick comfy pj pants and a somewhat loose shirt. Normally that was just fine, but he had to think about his brother's sake now. Was he showing too much skin with this? Would his bare arms somehow manage to turn him on?? Kou scratched his head, not very sure on how to dress, and ended up putting on the only thing he had that would cover up his arms, his neck as a bonus, which was a thick turtleneck made for the winter. It certainly wasn't the weather for this, but he was all covered up... It would be quite obvious to see his intention from dressing this way since on a day like this, there wasn't even so much as a flaky cloud in the sky.

 

By the time his brother came around, he was pulling at the shirt collar on his neck from the heat, but he'd go regardless of his body heat, it wasn't like he was going to be running a marathon with his brother, they'd be playing a video game, "Okay, I'll be right there~" he said, wanting to at least finish up this last page of review he was doing. Kou only assumed the normal here. A game would be fun and with all of his skin covered up, there wouldn't be any accidents. Fighting? Like come on, they weren't little kids anymore, Kou was certain that insults might be made, but no fighting... After putting his things away, fanning himself with a stray paper for the last time, he walked over to Hiroto's room.

 

Poker faced and neutral like always, Kou came in, first noticing the game screen and a slightly different scent in here. Not spunk thankfully, it was more like room deodorant. Did Hiro really have to use that just because he was going to be spending time here? As long as it didn't reek of cigarettes like before, it was fine. No matter though. "Super Mario," he pointed out, "Haven't seen that title screen in a while... Where should I sit?"

[grizzly]

Hiroto sat on his bed, which was propped against the wall. He sat down, leaning his back on the wall, but not before he dragged the machine closer since the controller wires wouldn't reach out that long. He sniffed his bed once more making sure it didn't stink and quickly changed out of his school uniform, putting on a pair of shirts and keeping on his undershirt. He wasn't so prudent when it came to showing skin, especially since he had an inflated ego from girls complimenting his body. But that was pushed to the very back of his head. More than anything, he was cooling down from the warm weather, but he had his window open to let in a steady breeze.

 

When Kou entered his room, he moved back over to his bed and held out a controller. It was the second player, meaning Kou would have to play Luigi as always. At this point he really didn't care too much about what character he played, because he was grateful enough to spend time with Kou. If someone told him a week ago that he'd be playing video games with Kou again, he wouldn't believe them at all. He always secretly wanted to bond with Kou, and he wondered if Kou ever felt the same. If the feeling was mutual, he would feel like an idiot for wasting so much time on fighting and ignoring Kou all those years.

 

"Yeah, been a while, right?" He patted the spot on the bed next to him. He sat closer to the edge of the bed so there was plenty of room in between them. "Maybe we can beat the game? I remember we could never make it past the first couple of levels without losing all of my lives." Hiroto pressed the start button and let the intro scene play out while he continued to talk to Kou. "I remember being so terrible at this game."

[Coffee-Tastic]

Sitting down next to his brother and taking the controller into his hands, the brunet looked down at it as he gripped it and flexed out his fingers to get used to the feeling of it again. His hands were so used to just holding pen and wielding his notebook that it felt so weird holding a game controller in his hands like he did before... And would he have agreed to play a game with Hiro and hold a controller like this before? No. He didn't want to bond. Before dad leaving, he was firm on his belief that he was better off without a brother holding down his family name, he wanted Hiroto to go away and never come back. He had to thank his father's abandonment for making him realize that he had nobody besides Hiro and unlike dad, his brother cared about him... Now there were, of course, some things from his selfish head that remained, but he was here sitting next to his brother about to play a game together.

 

"Yes, I remember, but now I see it's to be expected. You're still reckless and as boneheaded as ever too, so I'll try to keep my patience and maybe we can make it past one world at least," Kou smiled, sitting up straight, giving Hiroto a glance and a smile, "If we beat the game, that would be nice... But we'll need to play it more than one time for us to get to that goal." He'd have to get use to the controls again and make his fingers get used to holding this thing... but there could definitely be a next time. He hoped so. Kou wouldn't ever make himself look too happy about though. His brother was probably smart enough to take his smile as a sign of that...

[grizzly]

"Hey!" He shoved Kou playfully at the comment of being boneheaded. It was true though; he once fell off a tree and never had to worry about getting stitches on his head. All he had was a goose egg on his head for a week. He grabbed hold of the controller with determination to be better than Kou for once. It was always Kou showing off his skills in games, which was exactly why Hiroto loathed chess and checkers. He still didn't know the rules for chess, and just thinking of it gives him a headache. He was more of a "do now, think later" kind of person.

 

"I'm not that terrible, or at least not anymore. I played a bit here and there when I got super bored." He pressed start and initiated the intro to the game before they entered the world as two mustachioed plumbers. Hiro continued to run ahead, but not enough to stall the screen to wait for his brother like he used to do. Usually that would result in him falling down in some unforeseen hole. As he stomped on one of the enemies, he began to explain how, "It doesn't get too hard until way up ahead. But with a new partner I'm sure we can make it easy peasy."

 

It didn't take too long to beat the first level since he had practically memorized the map due to so many mistakes from previous plays. The nostalgia was washing over him as the 8-bit music filled the small box that was his room. When exactly did things start to head south for the both of them he thought. He felt it had to be before the divorce of their parents. His mother was never home, and she never explained where she was going just as he did in the last couple of years. He wondered how two incompatible people ever ended up married, but he never knew how their parents met. Maybe both Kou and him were unexpected and father had to take the responsibility? Such a curious thought slipped his lips and he asked, "Do you know how mom and dad met?"

 

He kept his eyes fixated on the screen ahead of him to distract himself. He wanted to make the question seem like a very casual one, but the thought was weighing down his mind. Yeah they were twins, but he felt like Kou was always more close to their father. Though, now that he was staying at home more, maybe he was wrong.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Kou knew how games worked. He wanted to let Hiro know he wasn't an idiot and he shouldn't be telling him about it, but he he changed his mind when he added in how they'd be working together and it'll get easier. Guessed that his inner sibling hostility would never change no matter what, but Kou said he'd do his best to stay patient. That would be valid for the game and when it came to himself and his natural tendencies to talk back to his brother with pure, unrelenting sarcasm. Playing together like this was an act of peace and he intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. Just like with Hiro, he felt the same kind of nostalgia from playing this with his brother. The same game with his same brother. Though same wouldn't be a good term to use when the both of them had changed so much since the last time they were able to play together like this.

 

"Do you know how mom and dad met?" Hiro asks.

 

What a way to change the atmosphere, Hiro, he thought. Kou kept his lips sealed for the time being, glancing at his younger brother for a while before focusing back on the game. Or at least, just looking back at the screen that is. Kou didn't like talking about their family, period, or even thinking of them, and now that their dad was leaving them on their own, he really wished something else came out of his mouth. "I actually don't," he admitted, but in his voice it was clear that he had no curiosity for the matter. He had no bond with their parents and right at this moment, they meant nothing more to him than strangers on the opposite side of the sidewalk to Kou. They didn't care about their sons, so why should they care about them? That's how he felt... Though it wasn't exactly what he was showing when he constantly was seeking attention and approval from their father, since he was the only one left. "I bet they met at a party. Mom lost her shoe and dad picked it up. And then he spent a whole month trying to find the girl who the shoe belonged to," he said plainly, then sighed, "Lets just go with that so we can pretend that something went right once in their lives. Anyways, its not like it matters based on how things ended up."

 

What he did wonder was if they were ever happy to have made children together. If they ever breathed a word about loving them forever. It sure would be a lie, but it meant they gave it a shot, right?

[grizzly]

Hiro sneaked a peek at Kou's face, noticing how indifferent his reaction was before he noticed he fell down a cliff in the game. He cursed under his breath at the lost attempt of keeping his death streak at a minimum. His concentration was breaking now that his head was filled with thoughts of his so-called-parents. He somehow already knew Kou's wouldn't know anything about how they had first met, but he was hoping for something that would satisfy him. Whatever story Kou conjured sounded like the ideal scenario, but Hiroto thought his father was incapable of real love. He wasn't capable of showing love to his own flesh and blood, so how could he love a girl who lost her shoe? But he would pretend that it happened, only because it was best not to live in the past, which was something he did too often for his own good. He was too caught up in blaming everything wrong with him on his father. It was easier that way, so he wouldn't have to own up to his own mistakes. He blamed his infelicitous feelings towards Kou on their parents' divorce. If he had a real example of what love was supposed to look like, perhaps he would find his own girl with a lost shoe.

 

"You know," he said while looking at his brother from the corner of his eye. "When mom and dad divorced, I thought about running away. I thought about doing how like those kids did in the movies and go on a busy road and hitchhike or something dumb like that." He returned his gaze back to the game to make sure he didn't fall down another damned cliff. "But I remembered that I couldn't leave you behind." He sighed, not sure of where the conversation was going. He wasn't even thinking before he spoke, which was a terrible habit of his. "Even now I don't think I could leave you behind. And I'm sure even after we graduate those feelings will persist. How I'm going to live without you is beyond me, but only now have I thought about this."

 

He wanted to hear Kou give him a story about how they were going to stay together forever, but it was as unrealistic as the story of how their parents met. He was aware that one day they were going to part, like how normal siblings should. Kou was going to get married to some girl and Hiroto would have to try to do the same. But the irrational fear of becoming like his father is what is going to stop him from investing into a real relationship. And the fact that he will never love another as much as he loved Kou was certainly going to be an obstacle for him in the future.

[Coffee-Tastic]

Listening to his brother say how he was thinking about running away like those temperamental, idiotic kids from movies, Kou wanted to give a laugh, but after one simple thought, his stale expression remained and he didn't find it so funny anymore. How much worse would he have become if Hiroto left? The brunet would still be the brain, but to have his brother leave back then, it would have cracked him like a pebble to his castle of glass... Though he didn't. Kou got a sickly warmth in his chest when his brother told him he couldn't be left behind. It... It just felt incredibly good to hear that with the situation they were in now. Deep in him, he didn't want to be alone, not in the sense he wanted to have friends. There was no bond he could possibly make with a friend today that would ever be as long lasting as what he had with Hiroto. There was a long break period between their togetherness, but that gap was closing now. Kou was growing more and more certain that he wouldn't ever enjoy the company of another human being nearly as much as his little brother. And that wasn't scary to think of, not when he was already prepared to live a life of complete and utter solitude beforehand.

 

The only future Kou was interested in was one where he had substantial recognition as something positive, a nice house and no financial worries. It didn't involve a wife, a dog or any kids. Sadly to say, it didn't involve Hiro either. Kou couldn't say they would always be together, but somehow saying that felt like it would be similar to telling a puppy he'd keep it around until it's adoration was no longer necessary... Well. Kou would tell a puppy that. But in this case, of course, the puppy was Hiroto and he didn't want to say that. There was another silent pause in his response before he opened his mouth and when it opened, his response, it actually sounded like he was trying his best to make himself sound cautious with Hiro's feelings while also trying to give a logical response. Because he was thankful for his brother not leaving and not planning on leaving his side, but he didn't want to say anything idiotic and blindly like his brother would, "... If our dad is funding his house and other expenses with his new girlfriend... I don't see any reason to leave anytime soon. It gives me more time to save up money and not have to worry about bills and food if I did move out for college."

 

God he hated his voice. Kou frowned at the sound of it, holding his controller tighter with one hand for a moment from cringe while wiping the drops forming under his bangs on his forehead, "Just figure things out in that bonehead of yours. I'm not responsible for what goes on in that barren land you call a brain, Hiro." Taking the controller again with both hands, he huffed, "Now would you close your mouth for once? You're going to fall of another cliff, I just know it. Focus on the game."