Here Lies Love and Trouble (Raychu & Harifah)

[Raychu]

Koichi felt bad when he rejected the boy's offer, seeing how dejected Shinnosuke was. "Maybe just a bite wouldn't hurt," he said quietly. He drooped his shoulders, feeling awkward that he'd be taking from the boy's meal. It wasn't his to take, it just made him feel horrible. But if the boy welt that upset over it then he would muster up some courage just to take a bite or two. It wouldn't be taking too much right? He didn't like the thought of taking advantage of kindness, especially when it came to the students. "I mean, if it's okay we'd share your chopsticks for the time being," he laughed. He would be even more embarrassed to share than to actually take from the meal. It was indirect kiss to him, though the younger boy might not realize that. It was definitely weird for a teacher to think that way but that's why he rarely shared drinks with other people, the though of indirect kisses was just weird to him.

 

Koichi smiled, reveling in the thought that the boy actually wanted to talk to him. "I've been a teacher for about a year and a half now, the end of this year will be my second. I was a substitute before becoming a full time teacher so I've had my small years of experience," he hummed. He enjoyed talking about his most favorite thing in the world, his job. It was a peaceful thing for him to talk about without stepping over any boundaries. He could be as care free as he wanted. "How about you Shinnosuke. What do you want to do when you get out of high school? Any jobs you're aiming for?" He didn't think that sounded too nosy, it didn't seem to over the line either. Teachers normally asked those kinds of questions, right?

[Harifah]

Shinnosuke blinked a few times, hearing Koichi suddenly changed his mind about the offer of sharing his lunch. "I don't mind you using my chopsticks if that is fine with you, Sensei," he assured, letting out a quiet sigh of relief since he was sure that he had made the teacher uncomfortable with his invitation. He knew some people thought it will be unsanitary to share their own things with others, wondering whether the teacher was also like that. While he was planning to give some of his food with the person in front of him, there was quite a distance between them since they were sitting at different desks. It will be difficult to hand it over if neither of them move from their seat. He eyed at the stacks of books for a moment before returning his gaze at Koichi, afraid that he could ruin the books if he brought his lunchbox over to the teacher's desk so he remained in his seat.

 

Shinnosuke did not find it much of a surprise that Koichi was still in his early teaching years since he looked young compared to the other teacher. But knowing new things about him still made him happy and it delights him even more that the teacher was asking him other questions. "I am thinking of getting a scholarship for a first-rate university after graduating from high school. Presently, I haven't thought about my ambition much. I just want to be someone useful for my family," he answered, fidgeting a little as he had never admitted these matters to anyone else before. He felt indebted to his family owing to the fact that they had raised him lovingly these past years. They never purposely mistreated him and was grateful for that. He tried his best on relieving them from worries and avoided causing any kind of trouble. Which is one of the reasons why he did not want to reveal his sexual prefence to them.

[Raychu]

Koichi noticed how far they were from eachother to be a able to share a meal. He stood up, walking over one of the desks beside the one Shinnosuke sat at, and sat in it. They weren't as far apart as they originally were, thankfully. The could easily pass the lunchbox to rachtoehr frkm this distance, they weren't too close but they weren't too far apart either, just perfect. He still felt odd about sharing food with the other since it was now t his own prepared meal. He felt guilty he was even going to have a few bites to the other's lunch. He really hoped Shinnosuke wasn't doing this just to be kind and if actually was making him feel extremely uncomfortable. He had he was doing it because he really wanted to share with the older man. It'd make Koichi feel worse if he were to take food when the other was just trying to be nice.'but he'd try and overlook his worries for now, just focusing on the conversation at hand.

 

Koichi nodded, listening to every word spoken so carefully, taking in the younger boy's voice. "That sounds like a good idea but you shouldn't just do doe thick that you'll think will help your family, if you do that then you might hate the job you're stuck with for the rest of your life. You have to carefully think these things over," he hummed. He didn't want to sound like he was lecturing the other about his life, he was just trying to warn him of the problems. He had seen too many people fall I tot he line for eh job they hated, unable to escape. He was happy with his job, get got it by luck. He didn't want to see such an innocent young boy be taken over by just getting a job, it always lead you didn't eh wrong path. Being sorted and organized about life aspirations kept you on a good track, he would personally know. He went through life on a rocky road.

[Harifah]

Shinnosuke watched as Koichi walked from his desk to the one beside him. He smiled thinly at the teacher's words, seeing how he was considerate of his well being. "That's true and I realized that however I would not mind if it was for my family," he drifted off in a quiet tone as he had his eyes averted only for some time. He was prioritizing his family more than his needs. There is a chance that he could fulfil both of those but if he had to, working at a place that he detests was bearable for their sake. He then continued again in his casual manner of when talking with Koichi after a moment of pause. "Well, there are a lot of options and I still have time to decide about it. Thank you very much for the advice, Sensei,"

 

When Koichi sat at the desk beside him, Shinnosuke took it as a sign that the teacher was quite willing to accept him sharing his meal. Just that in order for he himself to ease his feeling of discomfort when eating alone with the teacher, he hoped he was not forcing him to do what he had not actually wanted. Balancing his chopsticks on top of the opened lunchbox, he picked up the lunchbox and placed it over to the desk that the teacher was sitting at, tilting his body a bit to fully reach where he wanted to put it."Please go ahead. Although, the eggs might be too sweet," he lightly chuckled. He had packed the usual and had already ate only a few of them. Rice which covers half of the lunchbox and is complemented with mini-hamburgers, cherry tomatoes, lettuce, and eggs.

[Raychu]

Koichi rested his elbow on the desk, and his chin on his palm, listening to every work spoken so carefully. He always had his attention turned to Shinnosuke when he spoke, the teacher never dared to zone out. He was always intrigued to Harare the words that boy would speak, it was different from many students he would deal with on a day to day basis. "I see, I hope you will think about it more in the future when you gain a job. You can still have a job you enjoy while supporting your family. You can have both instead of one, picking and choosing is pointless. It onto caused a load of stress for you to carry. It is perhaps a boulder on your shoulders. You can carry the boulder for everyone around you but it doesn't mean you let the boulder control your everything in life, sometimes you must lighten the burden of the load for the good," he hummed. He was never good at giving life advice, he just wanted to give a few pointers here and there, not wanting the boy to go in as blindly as he once did.

 

Koichi stared at the lunch presented before him, admiring at his neat it was. If consisted of the right amount of proteins and was well balanced, unlike the lunches the teacher would prepare. He never focused on keeping it balanced, he just wanted his favorite foods in there. He grabbed the chopsticks, boring them between his palm, thanking for the meal. The teacher first tried the eggs, they were quite sweet. But it added a lot of flavor that his eggs normally never had. "The eggs are just perfect, I like them just the way they are. Sweet or not," he smiled. He took a couple of cherry tomatoes before passing the lunch back to Shinnosuke. He felt he took enough, wanting to boy to finish the meal that was prepared for him to say, not the older man. He felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn't have, it was better if he took less than more.

[Harifah]

Shinnosuke was in awe from hearing Koichi's words, the burden that he made in his heart had became lighter. It felt quite inspiring to him, making him wanting to give it all even more for his future. He knew what the teacher said was completely true, taking it all to heart. "Yes, I will put that in mind. Really, thank you, Sensei," he spoke with a gentler tone. Right now, he was finding himself curious how the teacher had fare during his school days and how easy or hard it was to achieve his job as a teacher. He was not sure that he was allowed to ask of it. There was so much that he wanted to know about Koichi as well as sharing the things about himself. The fact that the person was his teacher was making it difficult, constantly needing to be cautious with his actions.

 

Staring at Koichi as he was eating, he ended up wondering and was anxious with how the teacher will think of the food. Hearing the person commented how the eggs turned out fine, he instantly grinned. It was a first for him to have been complimented with what he had made although it was an simple thing to make. "Is that so? Then I am glad," he responded, trying not to show his happiness too much. Once the lunchbox was back on the desk he was sitting at, he took the chopsticks and continued eating. He had expected that the teacher will only take a few, realizing it would be odd in the first place for a teacher to eat his student's lunch. He already felt rather content that Koichi had accepted his offer however was concerned that the teacher might be forcing himself. "Would you have some more, Sensei," he asked after completely finish chewing the food in his mouth and swallowing, leaving quite a small amount in his lunchbox.

[Raychu]

Koichi was glad that the boy actually took consideration of his words rather than brushing them off like a bug. He always tried to help his students, but none seemed to respond with such kindness. But Shinnosuke was something different, he actually listened to the people around him, he listened to the teacher. He never got annoyed or bored of what he said or Sri, he had his full attention just on Koichi. It filled his stomach with butterflies just thinking at the thought. Koichi clenched his hand into a fist before relaxing it. What impure thoughts were being filled inside his head, this was a student. You should never think that a student is special. Never. He had to keep his space with the boy now, before he got too out of hand with the other. He was already crossing the lines by sharing lunch. How clumsy could he be that he's putting himself in a situation for losing the one thing he loves. His job.

 

Koichi immediately handed the lunchbox back, forcing himself to continue to smile at the boy. "No thank you Kiritsume, I've had enough," his tone much colder than before. He instinctively went back to using the boy's last name. He was being too informal, getting too friendly. There were responsibilities he held as a teacher, keeping himself proper and in line was one of them. But he was not demonstrating this very well, he was ignoring everything he wasn't supposed to do. He tried to be the cool and friendly teacher, but this was going too far. Perhaps it was easier to just become an emotionless robot doing the job emotionless. Then you wouldn't have to worry about attaching yourself to the students around, getting too flustered over them. It was impossible. Impossible.

[Harifah]

"I-I see," Shinnosuke stuttered, quite affected with how Koichi responded to the extent of returning back to using his family name. He figured that what he had done might have been too imposing. There nothing else to say or rather that he did not know how to make the situation better, putting aside the questions he wanted to ask. He sat there quietly, staring at his meal then resume eating again. The silence was very difficult for him to handle compared to before. Being with the teacher had given off a different feeling than being with the others that he had been acquainted by. A few minutes after he had emptied his lunch box, the bell rang to signal the end of recess.

 

Unpacking his lunch hurriedly, he stood up to give the teacher a bow. "Thank you again for the books," he smiled albeit somewhat constrained. He exited the classroom after gathering the books that he had received, able to carry them in one hand since there were not that many and the other held his empty lunch box. It felt like only mere minutes had passed for him when they chatted with each other while it did seem longer for several moments ago. He walked in a quick pace although he knew he could take his time since it would be self study due to the teacher that was supposed to be responsible with his upcoming class was on a leave. When Shinnosuke arrived at his classroom, he neatly arranged the books inside his desk. He rested his head onto his desk, face down. Covering his head with his arms, he lets out a heavy sigh then mumbled Koichi's name under his breath. He was not himself when time passed and school for the day ended. Luckily, he was not called to answer any questions or read passages as he would have not be in the mind to do any of it.

[Raychu]

Koichi felt guilty when the boy seemed to get a bit upset over how the older man spoke. But he wasn't going to apologize, he had his reasons for suddenly changing his attitude. It was fair for him to get upset, but the teacher was allowed to be upset as well. He shouldn't be thinking of a student in a different light than all the others. Shinnosuke wasn't special, not special. Never think that way. Sure he was book smart, he had a lot going for hi in his career, but that's academically exceptional, not special. Shinnosuke was a student, not a potential love interest. That would never happen, it couldn't happen. The age difference and the fact he was a teacher, this was a student. A lot more would work against them than with them. He shouldn't even be considering what would happen, that was improper. He needed the bell to ring, he needed to get the boy out of his head.

 

When the bell rang Koichi gave a quick goodbye, standing up and walking back to his desk. He started pulling out his textbook, ignoring Shinnosuke as he left. He needed to clear his mind, he was a teacher. This was his dream job, he couldn't lose it over a petty matter such as having an attraction towards a student. That wouldn't happen, more like it shouldn't. Sadly, it was. It was happening at the wrong time, in the wrong life. He didn't need this right now, he couldn't deal with this. His job was everything he needed to focus on. Romance and relationships were trivial, pointless, unneeded. He didn't need to feel any attraction, but he was. This was becoming harder and harder to deal with.

 

The rest of the day went horrible. His mind was too full of Shinnosuke and the problem that was beginning to present itself. He felt something different towards the younger boy, not good. When reading or explaining a question he would stutter with his words. He dropped multiple papers on the floor. He tripped and stumbled, not being able to keep up with the pace of his own feet. The day was signaled to an end, causing him to rush out before he was noticed by anyone to stay after. He was not in the proper mindset as he should be for his job. He could just sleep this off, nothing to worry about. He was okay, tomorrow was a new day, it'd all be better.

 

-----

 

Koichi came in extra early to finish his remainder of work from the previous day. He had everything set out and finished, sitting at his desks waiting for the students to file in. He glanced down at the books that were left on his desk from the previous day, he forgot to bring home the leftover books. Everything was so hectic for him, but he seemed much calmer than he was before. He looked over seeing Shinnosuke walking by, deciding he should apologize for being so rude the other day. The boy was there quite early but he must have had his own reasons, Koichi would not question them. "Shinnosuke!" he called out, waving to the other. Signaling for him to enter the room.

[Harifah]

Shinnosuke was rather sluggish when he woke up due to the lack of sleep last night with him tossing and turning around on his bed, having so many thoughts of Koichi in his head. He could not even concentrate when he attempted to study or continue reading Spring Snow which he would finish soon enough. It was usual for him to wake up much before school starts although it was more tiring for his body today. He did not imagined that he would be so bothered about it, mostly blaming himself on what happened yesterday. Straightening himself up, he tried to do his usual morning routine normally, hoping that his family would not notice his change of behavior. He ended up making more mistakes than he should, which was obvious to his mother. Reassuring that he was just having an off day, he said his goodbyes before leaving his home. He suspected that she had not fully believed what he had told her, planning to make up for it once he return.

 

Before he reached the classroom, Shinnosuke felt the need of wanting to see Koichi again as he was exchanging his shoes at the locker. A quiet sigh left him, thinking of no such purpose to go to the teacher's lounge or the teacher's classroom. Unconsciously, his feet brought him around the area of where they meet up the day before. It would be a detour to his classroom but it was not that far. He had no intention of turning around, completely wishing that the teacher would be there. He tugged and then tightly gripped the strap of his bag, facing forward when he started to walk.

 

Hearing his name being said by Koichi's voice had startled him, not expecting to the teacher to say it ever again. Nevertheless, he was increasingly getting delighted, smiling instinctively to greet him. "Good morning, Sensei," he responded, however approached the teacher slowly and cautiously after momentarily forgetting about yesterday's events. He could not help but feel somewhat awkward to be in here once more. Wondering why the teacher had called out to him made him anxious, causing unnecessary things to overflow his mind.

[Raychu]

Koichi could see th boy being so cautious and slow when approaching the older man. This was all his fault and he knew it. His actions the prior day caused the boy to be so weary of the teacher. He was like a skittish dog, approaching but only seeking to run when filled with fear. "You seem to have not gotten a good nights rest," he spoke, staring at the circle that had formed under the eyes of the boy. Koichi could only feel even more guilty than before. He didn't mean to cause so much stress and anxiety for the other. It was all because of his stupid meltdown. So maybe he felt a small attraction spares Shinnosuke, that's fine. Just as long as he didn't act on it then it was alright. It didn't mean he couldn't push them aside just to be friends with the boy. That was a good idea. He wouldn't have to seem like the robotic people he despised the most.

 

"I wanted to apologize for they way I treated you yesterday. I'm truly sorry. Name anything, anything you want and I'll give it to you," he hummed, his words sincere. He honestly think Shinnosuke would ask for much. "I'll take you out or ice cream or something, I mean it when I say anything. Even if we have to do something off of school grounds." He could play it off normal if someone saw him, there were plenty of excuses he could use. Perhaps he could pretend he was trying to motivate an upset boy, that one didn't seem like it was a faulty excuse. But he needed the other to name his demand so he could work with it.

[Harifah]

When Koichi mentioned how he had slept, Shinnosuke tugged the strap of his bag nervously and did not say anything at all to respond to it. Looking away, he could not bring himself to face the teacher. He would not think of trying to deny it since it was clearly obvious on his complexion but if he were to confirm it, surely it will make things worse than it is. It was not normal for someone to be so hung up when they were harshly refused of such a thing. He was evidently acting differently in front of the teacher, unsure how he had usually behaved whereas it was habitually natural for him to be less tense around the person. He hopped that his attraction to the teacher would not be discovered. Socially, it would not be acceptable but was not certain how the teacher thought of it.

 

The idea of seeing the teacher off school grounds intrigued him, meeting his own eyes with the person and his face was quick to heat up as if he had not seen him in a long time. Although Shinnosuke would not want to take advantage of the situation, his desire got the best of him. He was already unusually overjoyed the past few days being with Koichi, wishing that it will continue like it has been. "Then, could we meet tomorrow and have a study session?" he spoke after letting out a few inaudible mumbles, in an attempt to properly word out his request. It was completely an excuse to spend more time with the teacher. When they were finished discussing about the books, there would not be a reason to meet privately anymore. He lately enjoyed that time the most not because it was a change of pace but rather that it was with Koichi.

[Raychu]

Koichi listened to the demand, but he could not keep eye contact, his eyes kept down to the boy's lips. Watching them intensely. He would catch himself and look back up, but his eyes always seemed to wonder far from the gaze of the boy. Not good. He wasn't supposed to act on it, that meant looking wherever he wanted, it was obvious where he was looking too. He could make up an excuse like he's nervous. Which he is, but for a completely different reason than he should be. When the boy finally finished his sentence, he immediately met the gaze with a smile. "Of course. Just name a time and I'll clear it for you," he spoke softly. He was going to keep his eyes away from anything lower than the nose. He needed to maintain eye contact, it was important. He ne see to keep himself looking professional, staring at the other's lips was not showing anything professional. It was just laying out his desires and wants.

 

Koichi foudn himself shifting in his seat, nervous for a study session to happen. They would most likely be alone, which a ant his mind would wander. No, he wouldn't let that happen. He might have another meltdown, the already tense situation getting worse. He wouldn't let himself get upset over petty reasons such as romantic feelings towards a student. What if he couldn't get rid of the romantic feelings? He was at a loss there. He felt an attraction, being around the boy might only make it worse. A lot worse than it previously was. He might begin to just want the boy for himself so much he couldn't bear it. No, these thoughts are uncalled for and are not needed. He didn't need to think about himself in that kind of situation, it would never happen. Not to him. He wouldn't allow himself to be dragged down by romance.

[Harifah]

When he had always followed similar routines on his days off, tomorrow will slightly change making him delighted just at the thought of it. While there are times that he would go out to the library and such, however there was never a time that he would meet with someone causing him wonder what his parents will think when he will mention about it to them later on. "Ten in the morning would be fine," Shinnosuke suggested, fidgeting a little but somewhat ease himself upon hearing Koichi's voice in a gentle tone. He hoped that was not too early for him and also that he would not be too busy. There was also the fact that they need to pick a place. "Where should it be?" he asked meekly. The public library was an option but he had hidden intentions, curious to go to the teacher's home if he were to offer but did not dare to ask of it. He remembered that the person told him that he live alone, surely that there are only going to be the two of them. Thus, he chose to let him decide.

 

Noticing how Koichi was being unlike how he normally is, Shinnosuke made the distance between them a bit more smaller than before. "Sensei. Yesterday... I am not angry or upset about it anymore. I am really looking forward to this study session," he tried to reassured the teacher, certain that was the case on why he was acting like that. It bothered him that if this continues, it would not be the same as the time he spent with him. Being satisfied by keeping things how they were, it was highly unlikely that he would consider of confessing his feelings straight out. He wanted everything to remain as it is but at the same time wishing to close the gap that exist between them.

[Raychu]

Koichi nodded. It was quite early in the morning, but he rarely slept on his free days. It was a tolerable enough time for him to work around. At least it didn't interfere with any plans he had set for the day. "That sounds perfectly fine with me," he hummed. Then they ran into a roadblock, wondering where they should meet up. Public places were always too crowded and noisy for him to concentrate. He could always invite Shinnosuke to his place but would that even be okay? Would the boy feel uncomfortable by the invitation and take it the wrong way? Koichi already decided not to act on his feelings, would that be inappropriate just to invite the boy over for studying? "How about my house?" The words flying out of his mouth before he could properly think them over.

 

The teacher sighed when the boy tried to reassure him that he was okay. But that was not what was bringing him down. Not even close, sure he still felt guilty but he was rude, but he was more worried about keeping himself in line. "Ah, I'm glad you're excited for it. Sorry, I guess I just feel bad about what I did yesterday," he lied through his teeth. He didn't sound as forced as he thought he would, but he still was forcing the lie to come out. He felt horrible I about having to lie to Shinnosuke but he couldn't just say he felt some sort of attraction more than a teacher should. One, that sounded horrible. Two, that was completely out of line, even if he had to lie to keep it a secret.

[Harifah]

The invitation took him by surprised, the inside of his head turned into a completely panic state as he felt the weight of his bag become heavier. There was a hint of happines in his expression, unable to control himself however it did not last long. A side of him was troubled by it with how friendly the teacher could be with his students but that was one of the points why he was so fond of the teacher. They had only started to get to know each other several days ago, getting the idea that other students must have visited him at some point. His desire of wanting to be the only one who is special to the person he like grew stronger, hating what he was feeling right now. "I don't mind if that is not intruding you too much, Sensei," he slowly began to speak, attempting to calm himself down in the process. He became speechless immediately after, not replying when Koichi apologize about yesterday's behavior and only managed a not so convincing smile.

 

Not long after, he had realized that the plans for tommorow would not be possible if he did not even know where it exactly is. He quickly rummaged through his bag after unzipping it, trying to find the things that he needed. Having found his pen and his notepad with a ring binder which he normally uses it to write down things like reminders for himself, he turned it to a blank page. While there is still some distance between them, Shinnosuke walked forward until he could hand over both the notepad and pen properly. "Could you write your address here, Sensei?" he requested. Being this close with Koichi was enough to make his face grew warmer, facing downwards as if he was staring at the blank page in an attempt to hide it. The more he spends time with the person, the harder it is for him to ignore his feelings. The thought of someone else knowing it did not settle into him one bit.

[Raychu]

"Oh don't worry! I invited you, you wouldn't me intruding at all," he laughed. Though his eyes weren't as calm as the voice and face he gave. This was a dangerous move he made, but this was normal for him. Though he had never invited a student to his house, he heard many other teachers did it all the time. He wouldn't be questioned for his at all. It wasn't a problem because he worried for his job, it was a problem it was Shinnosuke. It would've been great if it were another student, but this was the one he had romantic feelings for. He couldn't just brush this off as nothing, no matter how much he wanted to. His was a huge problem for him. Though he wouldn't admit it, he didn't want o upset the boy. He seemed to be a bit happy he was going to be at the teacher's house, though their feelings were not mutual.

 

He grabbed the pen and notepad, neatly writing his address out. He took pride in his penmanship, wanting his style of writing to be perfect. It impressed the students most of the time, making them want to work harder on their penmanship. It was nice, a lot of the students he had in his class didn't write neatly. He always and a hard time making out the kanji's. "I don't have the best working air conditioner so it might be hot. Sorry," he apologized in a joking way. Maybe the boy would suggest something else if he didn't want to stay in a deadly hot apartment. But that was highly unlikely for Shinnosuke. He seemed to be willing to do anything, though Koichi wondered why. He gave the boy a soft smile.

[Harifah]

Knowing that Koichi would not mind his intrusion, Shinnosuke was more relieved with continuing on to doing the study session. "Is that so? Then I am glad," he spoke in a quiet tone, letting out a small sigh of relief. Taking the notepad and pen back, he kept the pen alone inside the side pocket of his bag since it was easier. "Thank you, Sensei." he thanked him, glancing at Koichi's address a little longer before closing the notepad. He put it back into his bag and then zipped it close. When hearing about the air conditioner in the person's apartment, it did not bothered him at all. "That's fine," he responded to ensure the teacher that he would not care about it. All he thinks about was that he will be spending more time with the person he likes and being at his place would be a plus for him. He would not suddenly decide on changing the venue just because of a small problem. Nothing else matters so he should be able to tolerate the heat. He returned the teacher's smile with another, always feeling elated merely at the sight of it.

 

Looking at the clock, it would not take long for the bell to ring and signal the start of the first period. "I will excuse myself now," he bowed slightly as he would do usually. "See you tommorow, Sensei." he added, waving at him and exited the classroom to return to his. Never had he arrived at his classroom to see that only a few people was left to fill the room. He was usually one of the earliest, reading or studying with the spare time he had left. Sitting on his desk and placing his bag on the hook at the side of it, he took out the study materials for the upcoming lesson and removed the notepad from his bag once again. He could not help but grin to himself after opening it to that certain page, staring only at Koichi's writing and caressing it with his fingers. He was increasingly getting excited, hoping tommorow would come sooner.

[Raychu]

Koichi stared in awe at the lighthearted smile the boy gave back. Such a smile could brighten anyone's day, bringing out the sunshine that was lacking for a joyful day. The teacher never got tired of seeing such a sweet, innocent smile. It was so pure and delicate, another reason the teacher couldn't be with him. He'd taint the boy, make him so impure that it would ruin that perfect smile the boy would give. It was quite irritating that his touch could kill such an innocent angel, he was dirty and full of darkness that swallowed him up. Of course he wouldn't want to destroy the boy with his filthy thoughts that would crush the sweet ones held by Shinnosuke. He nodded as the boy left the room, broken hearted that he had to leave so soon. He needed to stop these thoughts of wanting the boy by tomorrow, this was getting out of hand.

 

The day was long and boring. Unlike the day before when the teacher couldn't concentrate and made many mistakes, he only made a few that day. He stumbled over reading English words, having to repeat them multiple times for some of the students to understand him properly. He was disappointed in how he was with the reading, he usually read English the best. That's what made it easy for the students to learn from him, he had proper understanding of how to read English. The words would roll off of his tongue naturally, but with Shinnosuke on his mind, he was unable to speak the native tongue as fluently as he used to. His mind was too set on the study session that would be tomorrow, it was causing a lot of stress for him. How was he supposed to keep in line? The day kept up like this until the bell signaling the end of the day, causing him to sigh in relief. He needed a drink or two, that might calm him down enough. Feeling a buzz seemed like it always brought down stress.

 

_____________________

 

 

Koichi sat up, rubbing his head. He had drunken a little more than his share of alcohol to calm himself, though the hangover was minor, it'd still be a huge bother when trying to teach Shinnosuke. He looked over at his clock, seeing it was 9:54 A.M. He panicked, rushing out of the bed to quickly get changed, this was not going to be a good first impression if the boy were to show up when Shinnosuke was a mess. He was meant to meet with the other at ten o' clock, he ended oversleeping his set alarm. He hopped around his room, getting on fresh new clothes, using a long sweater since he didn't have anything else that was comfy but still nice to the eyes. He quickly messed around with his hair, getting it to calm down from his dreadful bedhead. Grabbing his glasses and putting them on.

 

In an attempt to wash the smell of liquor off his breath, he used man mouthfuls of mouthwash, trying to kill the lingering scent. As he was doing so, he heard the doorbell go off, Shinnosuke was here. Always on time like the good student he was and here the teacher was, running around like a crazed buffoon. He quickly spat out the remainder of the mouthwash, hurrying to the door. He calmed his breathing from all the rushing he was had to do, putting on a friendly smile. This was turning out to be one of the worst house visits he's had with someone yet, and he's had very few for a reason. He wasn't known for looking sharp on his free days off, or when he was at home alone. He had many random pop ins, but they never stuck around to see his true nature.

 

Koichi opened the door, a wide smile on his face, one that was an inviting warm smile. He quickly squinted when the sun decided to invite itself in, a headache beginning to form. "Ah, Shinnosuke. Glad you could make it, come on in," he hummed. He stepped to the side, allowing entrance in. His eyes darted around the room, seeing it was clean as a whistle, at least that was a plus. He saw himself in a nearby reflection of his window, he wasn't so fortunate to look as nice. He looked paler than usual, circles under his eyes. His hair was still quite a mess, he was just a mess in general. The room was quite hot, wearing a long sleeve shirt was a ridiculous idea, he should've known that. The A/C must have turned off in the night, deciding to stop working once more. "How was your morning? You look much more refreshed than yesterday."

[Harifah]

When requesting for permission to go to Koichi's home after he had gotten home from school, his mother wore an obvious curious look and inquired some of the details. He asked the same from his father after he had returned from work, giving a similar reaction but did not bring up any questions at all. During the night, Shinnosuke had marked the parts he did not understand. He had also purposely selected some of it which he did with the purpose of extending the study session. His parents allowed his to stay as long as he wants however he still needs to return before curfew. Grabbing a diffrent bag that had only been brought to the public library for studying purposes, he put and arranged the study materials and also his stationery into it. He was able to sleep without any kind of problems compared to the night before.

 

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Shinnosuke woke up earlier like on school days although he would usually get out of bed a bit later. He had never cared about his apperance before, not wanting to give off a bad impression on how he was on off days. Wearing a pale blue t-shirt and a thin jacket with black jeans, he made sure none of it was out of its place. The closer he was to the front door, the nervous he gets. He said his goodbyes to his mother whereas his father had left, having too work also on the weekends. He was not able to properly wear his shoes at first with too much thoughts of Koichi in his mind. His younger sister was able to catch him off guard before he could exit, annoying him for a while before asking jokingly whether he was going on a date. That made him turned beet red, averting his face before she could see it and denying it completely as he left. Although he knew that was her just teasing him, he could not help but be embarassed yet happy thinking of it.

 

Refering to the notepad, it was easy to find the apartment since the writing was very neat and he had recognized the area. He had paced around the front door before finally pressing the doorbell, in an attempt to calm his nerves. "Good morning, Sensei," Shinnosuke greeted after Koichi answered the door and walked past him when he moved aside, pardoning his intrusion as he stepped into the teacher's home. He took off his shoes at the entrace, giving a quick look around the place. After he was asked on how his morning was, instantly he was reminded of his sister or rather what she had implied. It noticeably took a moment for him to face the teacher, trying to keep himself compose. "I-It went normally as it would be." It was a first for him to take something his sister said as a way to pester him so seriously.

[Raychu]

Koichi pursed his lips, caught in thought. "Is that so? It went normal for me as well," he coughed out. That was a lie, he usually wasn't this flustered in the morning. He kept himself on a strict, organized schedule to prevent these kinds of things from happening. This morning he completely failed to even follow it a bit. He usually never drank unless he was extremely stressed, which somehow he allowed himself to be over Shinnosuke. He closed the door behind the boy, gesturing for the other to go sit on the couch in the living room. Walking into it himself, he was really lucky that it didn't look half bad. It seemed clean enough for any kind of guest to come over, he just wasn't and prim and proper as his room. He sat on the couch, patting besides him for the boy to sit down next to him. That was normal, he assumed it was. He only had one couch, this was the only seat available. It was completely normal nothing was wrong with this.

 

"What is it you need help on? I'm surprised you're asking me instead of your own home room teacher," he laughed. He wasn't sure if they were all on the same lessons, each teacher worked differently with their class, none followed any schedules. They planned for the year and that was it, but hey never planned with one another. Everyone went at their own paces, it was normal. "I don't know which lessons your class is on, but I'll try my best," he chirped. He became to relax a bit more, just letting himself get used to the situation. Just a normal teacher and student study session, he had many others, though none came to his house, he was open for any ideas as such.

 

His golden eyes wandered over to Shinnosuke, having a new look at him than before. He never had a chance to actually study the others features. His immediately averted his gaze to looking outside the window of his apartment, realizing that he was checking the younger boy out. This is bad, this what he predicted was going to happen. He was going to let his feelings overlap his priority as a teacher, forgetting his job if he became too relaxed. He knew this was going to be the case, but it's too late to go back now. He cleared his throat, the room feeling tense.

[Harifah]

Upon the gestures to have a seat on one of the spots on the couch which was right beside Koichi, Shinnosuke froze for a moment as he caught himself staring at the teacher. It was quite a different look than he had used to, somewhat feeling a cozy vibe coming from him which made him more relaxed. He immeaditely obliged to the teacher's instruction without any kind of complaints soon after snapping himself out of it, placing his bag right by his feet as he takes his seat and put in only a little distance between them. While he felt his face getting warm, he was aware it was not because of the heat emited throughout the apartment.

 

This would only be a simple study session, Shinnosuke thought to himself. He was determined to not ruin it or get ahead of himself by trying to do anything that would make the other person upset or uncomfortable and such. Although they were not bound within school grounds anymore, their relationship was still professional, as a student and a teacher. He would not want to ignore that fact in front of the teacher, either purposely or unintentionally. There should not be any intention to be more than just what they are, filling him with complex feelings when his mind overflowed with it. He remained his slightly informal speech he used with the teacher when they started to know their common interests of books albeit finding it a bit difficult to not use his name when adressing him.

 

As Koichi initiated the lesson, Shinnosuke smile became even wider. "Give me a moment," he spoke softly, bending down to look for his things inside his bag. He quickly flipped through his notes once he found them, searching where he had marked the night before to ask for the teacher's help. He was glad to have suggested this, turning around towards the person and had placed the pen on the notes. Noticing him looking away at the window, it made him rather lonely when some time before he had been paying attention to him. He brought the notes to his chest, holding the pen in place. "Toyokuni-sensei?" Unconsciously, another hand tugged the sleeve of the teacher's shirt lightly which he instantly pulled away, moving it to his lap once he realized what he was doing. "I-I'm sorry." He waited not a moment to apologized, his expression was clearly flushed. There was never contact like that, certain that he had breached something he should not have.

[Raychu]

Koichi's eyes widened when the boy tugged his sleeve. His gaze instantly dropped on the boy, seeing the flushed face. His cheeks heated, the tan complexion turning a pale pink. He could feel his heart hitting his chest harder than before, though he had a hard time distinguishing whether it was more anxiety and panic or if he was feeling embarrassed to be touched. He just knew that it made him feel weird, liking how the boy seemed to get a bit greedy with the attention. It was like a puppy wanted to be petted. Which he seemed to do by accident, reaching his hand out stroking the cheek. This wasn't supposed to be happening, he wasn't even supposed to look at him with wanting eyes, let alone touch him. He couldn't just brush this off as a simple joke, it was obvious what he was doing. So painfully obvious, and Shinnosuke could most likely read through the lines. This was going to be a huge problem for him. One that he didn't know what to do, how to deal with it, or how to even approach the topic of why he did it. A huge problem.

 

"I am so sorry! I didn't mean," he breathed out, his breath quickening. He pulled his hand away as fast as he could, holding it with his other hand, securing them together. He sighed loudly, his shoulder drooping. "That wasn't supposed to have happened, I'm sorry. I let... forget it." He couldn't say eh let his affection towards the other get the better of him. He was just hoping Shinnosuke wouldn't tell anyone that might get him fired from his beloved job. "Look, that shouldn't have happened. I was in the wrong. I thought wrong, you were just trying to get my attention so we could move on, right?" His eyes planted themselves on the floor, he felt ashamed of how powerless he was to these growing emotions that dwelled inside of him. He was sure he was the one who made the mistake, reading how the boy acted wrong.

 

"It won't happen again, I swear," his voice quieted. He felt himself become as a stiff as a board one more, the complete shame and embarrassment taking him over. He was so weak to everything around him, including the emotions. How were you supposed to be a teacher if you couldn't even keep your eyes off of a student? Simple answer, you couldn't. Koichi couldn't be a teacher if he was going to live so carefree, letting all his emotions control his actions.

[Harifah]

Shinnosuke indulged himself right into the feeling when Koichi stroked his cheek. He was unsure what the teacher had in mind, interpreting the act with the first thing that pops into his mind. He could think of no other meaning that it could give. Surely, there was no one that would do this just to anyone and that also applies to the person in front of him. The teacher was being gentle, not even showing any kind of roughness. It was unexpected which he ended up jolting a bit however only at first, getting a warm and fuzzy feeling soon after. All kinds of restraints that he had resolved to never let go was abandoned easily, wanting more out of the situation he was in. The moment the hand was taken away, he felt like that was the end of it. What would have happened if that was not abruptly interrupted, he wondered and was saddened by the thought.

 

How Koichi apologized for his behaviour just then. How he was saying that it was all a mistake he made. How he switched his words at the last minute. It all registered in Shinnosuke's head, making him more dissatisfied with how this was turning out to be. But he paid no mind to the implications if he were to ignore what the teacher was trying to get through to him. He knew he had promised himself not to, nonetheless his heart that started aching made him forget about it. He would not know when it will end if he did not pacify himself. It was not bearable for him anymore and was dangerously growing selfish.

 

"I was. I was trying to get your attention but...," he muttered in a low voice, slowly putting his notes and pen on top of his bag. An obvious sign had already revealed itself how the study session would not go well as Shinnosuke had planned with the tense atmosphere so why bother. "... Doing that and getting my hopes up," he added after taking a deep breath, not changing his quiet tone. He then completely remove the distance between them and tilted his head to meet the teacher's eyes. "And saying that... What are you trying to do, Sensei?" he finished his sentence in a somewhat depressed manner, his eyes getting needy while searching for the Koichi's, their face just inches away. He was clearly forcing a smile and chuckled a bit as if he was playing it off as a joke but was actually just confused with the teacher's action.

[Raychu]

Koichi already assumed the boy was trying to get his attention, he just didn't think it meant anything more than the start of the session. He saw out of the corner of his eyes the boy was setting down the needed materials. His eyes widened a bit at ththe words suddenly spoken. That was the most shocking thing he had heard from Shinnosuke. It definitely put him for a spin. Getting his hopes up? What hopes was he trying to get up? He wasn't doing anything of the sort. His eyes locked on the boy's when he tilted his head into the teacher's vision. That wasn't normal, he wasn't doing anything. That was obvious, or so he tried to make it seem like it was. The other had seen through his lies, his fronts that he put up. He had failed to do his job as a teacher, this was it for him. But the one thing that kept ringing in his head, was the words spoken by the boy. Doing that and getting my hopes up.

 

"I wasn't... doing anything of the sort," he breathed out. He frowned when the other forced a laugh, it made his heart feel so heavy. He was the cause of such sadness that was displayed in Shinnosuke's eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing and I... I just acted on impulse. It wasn't meant to upset you or anything, I don't know," he cut himself off. His was so close to the boy's face. He rubbed his hands on his pants, his palms felt sweaty from how nervous he was. "Look, I... I did it, not just because you are a student and I feel a need to protect you, but because you are special. I like you a lot actually. That sounds bad, damn," he mumbled. His headache was coming back twice as hard, not knowing how to say anything anymore without sounding weird. He already went past that boundary line by saying the other is special.