Addiction [Zombie_In_A_Box and Koe-chan]

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey lowered the phone from his ear when the call ended, letting out a quiet sigh before handing the device back to Nathan. "He said he'd be here soon," he told the taller man, giving him a small, reassuring smile. On his hands and knees, he moved forward so that he could settle against the wall next to Nathan, paying no mind to the snow beneath him or the cold wind that was blowing icy flakes into his eyes. He pulled his bag into his lap and rested his hands on top of it, peering at Nathan curiously. "It's okay," he replied, "I don't mind." His smile widened when Nathan mentioned meeting up again. "Of course I'd like to see you again, but don't push yourself. If you need time to recover, just let me know." He continued to watch Nathan for a few moments, wondering why his gaze seemed to distant. I want to help, but you won't tell me what's going on...

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan's smile faded out. Bailey didn't mind yet, sure, but he really couldn't make him go any deeper. It could destroy both of them. Nathan exhaled, his eyes closing as he focused on breathing - slowly, deeply, all through his mouth. "I'll definitely let you know." He promised quietly, the sleeve of his right hand, the one holding his nose, having slipped down slightly again. He'd self-harmed back in high-school as well, though then it was in places that were less visible. His wrists were a silent call for help.

 

Soon enough a car pulled up by the two of them. Jay stepped out, looking down at Nathan with a disappointed look. He had teal hair, the right side shaved off, the rest left rather long, going to his shoulder. He had pale skin and piercing green eyes. "Who're you?" He asked, an eyebrow raised as he looked at Bailey, then crouched down, sighing as he tapped Nathan's cheek. "Stupid." Jay murmured, pulling the blond up. Nathan stumbled slightly, gripping on tightly to the other.

 

"Thanks for ya help, love, but I'll take care of 'im." Jay grumbled out as he helped Nathan get into the car.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey felt his breath catch in his throat and his heart stop when he saw the marks crisscrossing the skin of Nathan's lower arm. He suddenly came to the realization that Nathan was definitely not fine, and that there was more going than Nathan had led him to believe. He swallowed the gasp that tried to escape his throat and forced a smile, trying to appear oblivious. "Okay." He hurt himself? Is he...depressed? Bailey's older sister suffered from depression, and when they were teenagers she used to self-harm as well. She even attempted suicide once. What do I do? Should I even do anything? I barely know him. Helping Nathan suddenly seemed like a much more daunting process. He's not just sick physically... What could have made him sick? An eating disorder? Alcohol? Drugs? Bailey wasn't so sure if he could handle this.

 

Bailey was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a car door open. He looked up, seeing an interesting-looking man walking towards them. He must be Jay. The young man stood up and moved to the side so that Jay could easily lift Nathan up. "Thanks for ya help, love, but I'll take care of 'im." Bailey frowned. He wanted to go with them, to make sure Nathan got to the hospital all right, but the gravity of the situation was making him doubt that he should be so invested in someone who was basically a stranger. "Um...are you sure?" he asked awkwardly, not meeting either pair of eyes, instead focusing his attention on the ground. Jay's closer to him, he probably knows what's going on. Nathan should be fine without me. Besides, we're not even friends yet. Maybe...maybe I should just let things be, until he wants to tell me. If he want to tell me.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Jay looked at Bailey, a curious, but somewhat cautious look in his eyes. "I'm sure. Now go, I'll be sure to take care of 'im." He reassured the other before getting into the driver's seat. Before taking off, he looked over at Nathan, his smile completely fading away. "Fuckin' moron." He grumbled, reaching into the back seat. He offered Nathan a small pack of white powder. "I'm takin' ya to Will. Try not to die on me now." The teal-haired male seemed concerned. Nathan cautiously consumed the drugs, relief washing over him at the blissful feeling. Everything else passed in a flash. See, people like him usually avoided actual hospitals. They had a friend, Will, who was more-or-less a doctor. Best they could get, anyway. He set his nose back to normal, patched him up and even wrote a prescription for painkillers, if he needed some. He was, apparently, qualified to do that.

 

Nathan texted Bailey for their meeting up, assuring him that he and his nose were fine. They decided on meeting up on a weekend, three o'clock, the same cafe Nathan had mentioned before. He explained thoroughly how to get there and made Bailey promise him he'd call in case he couldn't find the place. Nathan himself made sure he had a couple of pills in case he needed to take a hit, wore long-sleeves that wouldn't slide down so easily and tried to make his nose look a bit less terrifying. It was still a bit swollen, but not as bad as a couple days ago. Either way, he was by the cafe ten minutes before three, in the same coat as before, waiting outside for Bailey to show up. It was freezing outside, but he felt like it was the right thing to do.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey watched the car pull away from the sidewalk and turn right down Main Street. He let out a sigh, one of both relief and concern, before turning around and walking in the opposite direction as soon as the car was out of sight. As he walked, he pulled his dark blue gloves back on, having taken them off and shoved them in his pocket in order to use Nathan's phone. I hope he's okay, Bailey thought, keeping his eyes on the ground and kicking up little drifts of snow as he made his way back to his apartment. Jay's his friend, so he probably knows what to do. Bailey took longer to reach his apartment than normal, as he was caught up with his thoughts, trying to decide what to do about Nathan. For now I'll just make sure he gets to Jay when he needs help. Bailey didn't want their whole relationship to be based on what was happening with Nathan. Of course he still wanted to help, but he wanted to get to know Nathan and become friends with him first. I guess I'll treat him like any other friend, and just make sure he's able to contact Jay if he gets sick again.

 

Bailey had just finished changing into something more comfortable when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He swiped across the screen and smiled when he saw he had a text from Nathan. 'Okay, I'll see you then,' he replied, taking a seat on his couch as he waited for the microwave to beep.

 

On the day of their meet-up, Bailey woke up early so that he wouldn't be late to work, as he still didn't have a car. He also didn't like taking public transportation, as there were too many people on buses and trains, so he walked almost everywhere. He took a quick shower, put on a pair of dark jeans, black Converse sneakers, and a navy blue sweater before pulling on his coat and gloves and hurrying out the door, messenger bag in tow. His shift ended at two-thirty, and he made it to the cafe a minute before three, panting slightly as he hurried over to Nathan. "Hello," he greeted with a smile. He looked Nathan up and down and frowned slightly. "We're you standing outside for a while? You didn't need to, it's cold out."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan's cheeks had turned red from the cold, and his fingers would've been absolutely numb had he not had his hands in his pockets. From time to time he looked around for Bailey, beginning to shift his weight from one foot to the other to keep himself warm. He really hated winter. Finally Bailey showed up, and a grin spread across Nathan's face despite the painful tug at his nose. "Hey! No, just a few minutes." He replied, looking a bit ridiculous with how much he'd bundled himself up. His hood was up, there was a big scarf wrapped around his neck, his coat looked huge as well, as if it was stuffed up with something - most likely from the two sweaters he wore underneath. Of course, only one of them actually showed. He didn't want to look like a joke.

 

"C'mon, then, let's go in." He said with a smile, nearly running up the stairs to finally get into the warm cafe. Opening the door for Bailey, Nathan motioned for him to go in first, then followed himself. Once inside, a heavy sigh of relief slipped past his chapped lips. He took off his hood and scarf, then unzipped his coat to reveal the big, grey, turtleneck sweater he wore on top of black jeans. Quite frankly, the clothes fit him very well despite clashing with his appearance otherwise - his hair and various piercings. Today he actually wore his lip piercing, too, with which he often played without even realizing so. He hung his coat on the coat rack, then glanced back at Bailey. "Where do you wanna sit?" He asked, pushing his hands into his pockets. The sleeves clung rather tightly to his arms, his wrists especially. Even if they didn't, he wore a white button-up beneath it, so there was no way his wrists would be showing again.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey's smile returned upon hearing that Nathan hadn't been standing outside for too long. He still looks really cold, though. Maybe he's not used to winter? Bailey was also the type of person to get cold easily, what with how thin and small he was, but he had been living in the north for so long that he had become quite good at ignoring the less-than-ideal weather, at least for the most part. I wonder if he moved somewhere warm after high school? The brunette followed Nathan into the cafe, biting his lip to keep from chuckling at how relieved the other man seemed to finally be inside. "Is a window seat okay?" he asked, coming up to stand next to Nathan. Bailey had been near the window at the previous cafe as well; it was apparent that he enjoyed watching what was going on outside. As harsh as winter could be, he thought it was beautiful, which was why it was his favorite season. "How's your nose, by the way?" he questioned next, tilting his head as he peered up at Nathan's face. It was still swollen, but not as puffy as it had been, and there was no blood. "It looks a lot better." He grinned rather shyly up at Nathan.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan nodded, walking towards an empty table by the window. The cafe wasn't overly fancy or expensive - most of the customers here were students, who liked getting a lot to eat for cheap prices. "My nose'll be fine. My dignity, though, now that's harder to fix." Nathan joked, a quiet laugh slipping past his lips as he sat down on the comfortable chair. It had a small pillow on it, which Nathan greatly appreciated. He fully intended on trying his best to keep the atmosphere light this time. No overly-personal topics and definitely no depressing ones as well. Bailey had gotten a look at his bad side already, he didn't want to let that happen again. "I still can't believe I fell. Just my bad luck. I hope you had better luck these past days?" He chuckled, ending his words in a questioning tone. He hoped Bailey would get the invitation to speak about something, hopefully good, that happened to him. It was best to start the conversation about something nice.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey followed Nathan over to the empty table by the window. He placed his messenger bag on the ground, then shrugged off his coat and draped it over the back of his chair before sitting down. Once he was seated, he picked up his bag and placed it in his lap, unwilling to leave it unguarded, as it contained his phone, laptop, and wallet. "My nose'll be fine. My dignity, though, now that's harder to fix." Bailey laughed as well, a soft yet genuine laugh, and used his right hand to brush his bangs away from his eyes. "I'm glad you're okay," he replied, folding his hands together and resting them on top of his messenger bag. He tilted his head thoughtfully as he considered the blonde's question. "Well, nothing really lucky happened, but nothing bad happened either." His cheeks turned slightly pink, as he always became embarrassed when he was the center of attention. "Um, my classes are going well, and, uh, so is work. I, um, also had dinner with my parents a few nights ago." His gaze was directed at the table now rather than Nathan, and he was shifting slightly in his seat. "Nothing special. What about you? Did you do anything fun?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan's chest felt warm and fuzzy whenever he heard Bailey's laugh. He couldn't fight off the soft smile that graced his features as he looked at the other. He felt genuinely happy for Bailey. His life seemed to be going well. Nathan could be jealous, sure, but he didn't want to feel jealous of Bailey, for some reason. All he could feel was happiness, even proudness. "It's always good when nothing bad happens." Nathan commented with the same smile staying on his face. Dinner with his parents... God, how long has it been since he had dinner with his parents? Ah, depressing. Nathan quickly got rid of those thoughts. Not tonight. "Err... Not really. I mostly stayed home, with Jay." Nathan replied with a quiet chuckle. He glanced up as their menus were brought to them, nodding at the waiter. "Black coffee, please." He ordered before anything else. Opening the menu, he looked over his options, crossing his legs under the table. "What do you plan on getting?"

[BlaqueCatt]

"It's always good when nothing bad happens." Bailey looked up at Nathan and nodded in agreement, his small smile returning and his blush fading as the atmosphere became more comfortable. It was much less awkward than their first encounter, and Nathan seemed to be enjoying himself, which in turn made Bailey feel much better. He found it was now easier to maintain eye contact with Nathan, and he wasn't fidgeting as frequently. The brunette glanced up at the waiter when he approached, and timidly asked for a cup of chai tea, struggling to keep his eyes on the waiter, to keep from stuttering or mumbling, his voice wavering with the effort. He inwardly sighed in relief when the waiter walked away, and he turned to Nathan, picking up a menu as well. "Um, I'll probably just get a muffin or something. I had lunch at work a few hours ago. How about you?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan blinked, slight confusion and disappointment on his face. "Well, I'm starving. I was thinking of ordering myself soup and a steak, but... Guess I'll have potato pancakes instead. They're enough to fill me up and you won't have to wait too long." Nathan smiled, leaning back against the chair comfortably. He tried to play it off like he was okay, but even without taking the broken nose into consideration, he looked pretty bad. His skin still had the grey-ish tint, there were obvious dark circles underneath his eyes, his fingers still twitched involuntarily from time to time, although nowhere near as bad as when he was on the edge of withdrawal. "I hope Jay was nice to you, he didn't say anything rude, did he?" He asked suddenly, raising one eyebrow. Jay was often a bit over-protective of him, which was funny, seeing as both of them were drug-addicts and Jay was the one dealing Nathan his drugs.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey's eyes widened at the sight of the confusion and disappointment on Nathan's face, panicking inwardly. What did I do wrong? Did I say something? "Well, I'm starving. I was thinking of ordering myself soup and a steak, but... Guess I'll have potato pancakes instead. They're enough to fill me up and you won't have to wait too long." Understanding dawned on the brunette, and he shook his head, giving Nathan a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind waiting. You should get whatever you want if you're hungry." Bailey studied Nathan as he spoke, taking in his pale skin, the dark circles under his eyes, and the way his fingers twitched involuntarily. Even if his nose looks better, he still seems sick. Maybe...maybe he is taking drugs? Ever since their first encounter, Bailey had been going over what had happened, and it seemed more and more likely that Nathan was taking drugs. At this point I can't do anything besides try to be his friend, but hopefully Jay is helping him. "I hope Jay was nice to you, he didn't say anything rude, did he?" Bailey was surprised by the question. "Oh, um, Jay was nice. He was really focused on you, though, so we didn't talk much. I liked his hair, though. It was a nice color. I wish I could dye mine, but my boss probably wouldn't like it." He smiled shyly.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan let a laugh slip past his lips. "I'll be sure to tell him that. He loves getting compliments." He grinned, reaching up to run a hand over his bleached hair. Soon enough, the waiter came again, carrying their drinks. After the two of them had ordered, Nathan took his cup of coffee, carefully taking a sip of the hot liquid. He let out a quiet sigh of satisfaction at the taste, closing his eyes for a few moments. "I still can't believe we recognized each other after all these years." He mused, looking at Bailey with a smile tugging at his lips. "I actually haven't really kept contact with anyone." He added, placing his hands around the cup to warm them up.

[BlaqueCatt]

"I'll be sure to tell him that. He loves getting compliments." Bailey felt his face heat up upon hearing Nathan's laugh, his cheeks flushing a faint, barely noticeable pink. The uneasy feeling that embarrassment came hand in hand with was nowhere to be found, and instead he felt warmer inside. His smile widened, and his blue eyes were bright, pleased that Nathan was enjoying himself after everything that had happened. "I didn't really stay in contact with anyone either," he replied, blowing lightly on his cup of tea before taking a small sip. "I had a few friends in high school, but none of them were close. I met most of my current friends at college." There was a moment's pause in which Bailey took another sip of his tea. Then, "Um, if you don't mind me asking, where did you meet Jay? You guys seem pretty close." Bailey had seen the concern in Jay's eyes and in his voice when he had come to pick Nathan up a week ago, so he assumed that they were either very close friends, or that they were in a relationship. Either way, Bailey thought it was nice, having someone you could rely on, regardless of gender. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," he added a few moments later.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Somehow, hearing that Bailey hadn't kept contact with anyone either made Nathan relieved. At least he had something in common with him. The question made him feel just a little bit uncomfortable, though only for a few moments. "I'll be honest, we met in a bar. Long story short, I'd just been dumped, I got drunk and he was nice enough to call me a cab to get me home. After that, I had to repay him somehow, so... We just kept meeting up, and now we live together." Nathan chuckled, scratching the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "He's probably my closest friend. Hell, I'd even consider him family by now." Better than my real family, anyway. His thoughts were left unsaid. Too depressing. He didn't want depressing, not today. He could get through one day without making it depressing, right? "Random question - do you have any pets?" Nathan asked suddenly, a grin stretching out across his face. He felt like he could tell a lot about people based on their preference on pets or animals in general. He himself, for example, was definitely a dog person.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey felt a twinge of sadness upon hearing that Nathan had been dumped, but the way in which the taller man spoke about Jay had him smiling again. He was pleased to hear that Nathan had somebody he was close to, relieved that there was someone looking out for him, especially in his obvious time of need. "I'm glad," he replied genuinely, "My older sister Lauren and I are really close, too. But now she's in Europe, and although the friends I have now are better than they were in high school, none of them can compare to her." He blushed slightly in embarrassment; he had always considered his older sister to be his "best friend," even as a child. He wasn't as attached to her as he had been, having matured and started living his own life, but she was special to him in a way that no one else would ever be. "I really want a dog or a cat, but my apartment doesn't allow animals like that." He sighed regretfully.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan hated himself for feeling jealous, but he couldn't help it. "She sounds great." He smiled, hoping that he'd hidden his jealousy well enough. It always baffled him quite a bit when people had decent relationships with their families. He'd never had anything like that, so it was just hard to imagine it being possible in real life as well, and not just in movies. "Oh, that sucks." Nathan scoffed, shaking his head. "Though it's not that much better for me. I'd get a dog, but Jay's allergic to fur." Nathan rolled his eyes, reaching up to scratch the side of his head. "I do go to the animal shelter from time to time, take the dogs out on walks and stuff like that... It really helps me relax." He spoke, turning his gaze to look out the window. There was nothing quite like a quiet, peaceful walk out in the forest with a couple of dogs by his side. He loved those moments.

[BlaqueCatt]

Bailey's blue eyes widened in surprise. "You can do that?" he asked, seemingly amazed, excitement creeping into his voice. "I didn't know they let people walk the dogs." He had always assumed that only employees were allowed to handle the animals at shelters. Maybe I can do that too? he wondered. He loved animals, and he really wanted to be able to spend time with them, but he was also nervous about asking for the opportunity to do so, as his social anxiety always made it difficult for him to talk to others, especially strangers. And, of course, there was that constant, somewhat irrational fear of failure, and the last thing he wanted to do was put animals in danger. He mentally shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of his anxiousness and smiled across the table at Nathan. "That sounds like a lot of fun," he said. "Do you do anything else with the dogs besides walk them?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan glanced up with a smile pulling at his lips. "Yeah, you can do that. Maybe... You wanna join me sometime?" He offered, tapping his fingers against the table quietly. He was nervous about suggesting that, mostly because he'd usually take a hit during his walks. Dogs weren't people. They didn't judge him for his addictions. They only judged him because of their stopping, but he'd always make up for that by throwing sticks or toys if he had any. "Err, I sometimes stay behind to help feed them and stuff like that. There are dogs who need medical attention, but I don't do that. That's too important, I could fuck something up." He spoke with a small, nervous smile on his face. Looking down at his hands, the man sighed, finally clasping his hands together, resting them on top of the table. It really wasn't a good idea for him to keep himself in Bailey's life, even in the small details. That was another thing he could fuck up.

[BlaqueCatt]

"Maybe...You wanna join me sometime?" Bailey stared at Nathan with wide blue eyes. "R-really?" His excitement was obvious, but there was also hesitancy in his voice. "Are you sure? You said it helps you relax, and I don't want to interrupt that or anything...But if you really don't mind, I would like to go with you," he said shyly, taking a small sip of his tea. "I don't think I'd be able to give the dogs medical attention either," he continued, "I'd be worried that I'd do something wrong." He gave Nathan a small smile.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Nathan found himself smiling, even though he hadn't intended to at all. "I mean... Yeah, I'd like you to come with me, at least from time to time." He reassured the other, his smile lingering on his face. He loved the silence when walking the dogs, but he could do some socializing from time to time as well, after all. Soon after that, the waiter brought their food. "Well, this looks good." The man hummed to himself before taking a piece of his meal. Gods, he loved potato pancakes. Jay made them from time to time, and, honestly, those were his favorite days.