16+ Hakuouki: Sweet Repose (Saitou x Hijikata)

[chaiTora]

Summary: Saitou is feeling unwell, so Hijikata nags at him to rest.

Status: Complete!

 

Chapter One

 

The wintry air of the evening was turning frigid as the sun began to sink below the horizon. Nothing stirred outside in the darkening light as snow fell silently onto the frozen earth. Hijikata was immersed in his work when he heard soft footsteps approach his room. The visitor stood there for a brief moment before finally calling out to him. It was Saitou...although his voice sounded off.

 

"Come in," Hijikata lay down his brush and turned to the opening shoji screen. Saitou tentatively stepped inside, sat down, and bowed. "What is it?"

 

"Fukuchou, I have completed your errand. Do you need anything else from me?" He sniffled after he finished his sentence; clearly something was wrong with him. His face was tinted a cherry blossom pink, and his breathing seemed labored. Did Saitou have a fever? Well, it wouldn't be a surprise in this cold weather. The other soldiers had started dropping like flies with fever over this past week. And now it seemed that it was being passed on to the higher-ups of the Shinsengumi. "Fukuchou, is something the matter?"

 

"What?" He snapped to attention. "Oh, no. It's just that you look feverish."

 

"Fukuchou, you need not concern yourself with me. I am fin-" a fit of barking coughs broke Saitou's sentence.

 

"Saitou, you don't look fine to me. Get some rest before this illness of yours gets any worse. I'll talk to Heisuke about covering your patrol tonight."

 

The left-handed samurai looked at his vice-commander with pleading eyes. "But Fukuchou, it is my duty to-"

"It is your duty, first and foremost, to stay healthy. At least take a nap."

"Fukuchou," Saitou began sternly, "it is not fair that I should take a nap while you and the other captains are hard at work. Let me help you."

 

Hijikata sighed laboriously and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was no reasoning with this one, now was there? Even if he ordered Saitou to his room, it was doubtful that he would even stay there. Well, he could always have Saitou stay here..."All right, Saitou, if you are so keen on working, then stay here and help me."

 

"Understood, Fukuchou. What is it that you would like me to do?"

 

"Grind some more ink for me if you will," Hijikata handed the necessary materials over to his assistant, and Saitou went to work quickly and efficiently. For several minutes there was nothing but the quiet sound of the ink stick being ground until a raspy cough shattered the silence. Hijikata paused for several moments, listening to the strained wheezes that escaped Saitou's lips. "Saitou," he finally called out firmly.

 

"Yes."

 

"Go lie down," Hijikata stood up to go fetch a blanket for Saitou, ignoring any protests that the young man made. "I'll go brew some tea for you. Be good." He slid open the shoji screen and walked out.

 

 

 

When Hijikata returned, he found Saitou leaning against the wall, his heading bobbing up and down as sleep tugged at his tired eyes. Stifling a chortle, the vice commander carefully placed the tray of tea on the floor next to the drowsy young man and sat beside him. "You say you're feeling fine and yet you're half-asleep," he scoffed lightly. A jumbled murmur came from Saitou as his head dipped down, but then startled, he jolted back up. "Tea?" Hijikata asked plainly as he poured a cup. "There's dango too if you're hungry." He had come across Chizuru while preparing the tea, and she had offered him some leftover dango that she had bought on an earlier outing. Though it was too embarrassing for him to say aloud, he thought she was a kindhearted girl.

 

"...dango?" His thoughts were interrupted suddenly when he saw Saitou reach for the dango. He took a contemplative bit and then continued to eat slowly.

 

"You like dango?"

 

"Mm," was the simple reply he got. Once done with the treat, Saitou reached for the blanket Hijikata had set aside for him and swaddled himself in it. Obviously content with where he was—or rather he was too tired to care anymore—he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. A slight smile creased Hijikata's lips, but it soon disappeared when he saw the piles of papers waiting on his desk. There was still much left to do…

But then again he should be allowed to take a break every once in a while, shouldn't he?

 

Suddenly he felt a weight press against his shoulder: Saitou had fallen to his side while sleeping. Should he move him? Hijikata found himself staring at Saitou. With cheeks now flushed a rosy red and tendrils of indigo locks strewn about his pale features, Saitou looked as though not be disturbed. He needed to sleep. Hijikata adjusted his position and carefully let Saitou's head rest on his lap, thinking it would be a bit more comfortable for him. Without thinking, he laid his hand on Saitou's face, his thumb unconsciously stroking the young man's cheek.

 

Dark eyes fluttered open from the touch, and before long Hijikata found himself staring down at inquisitive blue eyes. His hand retracted immediately. "Sorry," he managed to stammer. W-What just happened?! Why did he even do that—agh, it was too embarrassing to think about. Hijikata swiftly evaded any possible questions about his action by posing his own, "Saitou, why don't you go back to your own room?"

 

Saitou drew out a long breath. "...I must stay with Hijikata-san...what if I am needed?"

 

Hijikata released an exasperated sigh, "Saitou I swear—you need to rest."

 

Another jumbled murmur was his reply. "...but you've done so much for me...I cannot repay you enough...so I must keep working...for you." The left-handed warrior drifted off once more.

A faint, but almost melancholic, chortle left his mouth like a sigh. Again Hijikata lay a tender hand on Saitou and stroked his doll-like face. "Baka, you've done enough...you've done more than enough. Sleep well."

 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Hijikata suddenly sneezed, the abrupt movement almost disrupting his brushwork. His hand clenched more tightly the blanket that he had draped around himself. Ack, he must've caught Saitou's cold…

Saitou. Amethyst eyes wandered down to the book in which he was writing:

In the passing breeze

your hair brushes by and leaves

the scent of blossoms.

 

Color soon rose to his cheeks: why was he even doing this? These feelings...they weren't right. And neither was this poem! The flustered vice commander was ready to tear the page out and scrap it, but something told him not to. His hand twitched—no, no, no this was all wrong, all wrong! These feelings couldn't be passed as a deep friendship anymore. Hijikata knew that. And he knew that those kind of feelings were forbidden. Something akin to a doleful sigh passed from his lips. Why did Saitou have to be the only person running through his mind for these past few days? Why, or better yet how, could he have—dare he even say it?—fallen in love with the left-handed swordsman in the first place? Hijikata was about ready to smack his face into the desk when he heard a soft voice call out to him. Of course, that voice just had to belong to the last person he wanted to see right now.

 

Startled and still trying to recover from his earlier embarrassment with the poem, Hijikata bade Saitou to come in, completely forgetting about covering up his book of haiku.

 

"Sano-san had asked me to get medicine for Fukuchou. Are you unwell?" The young man sat down with his legs folded underneath him and presented the bag of medicine to his superior.

 

"A slight cold, that's all. Luckily though, my workload has been very light as of late."

 

"Then Fukuchou should take this opportunity to lay down and rest."

 

"Ha," Hijikata gave a dry bark of laughter, "funny how that works." Saitou averted his gaze, opting to stare at the much more fascinating tatami mats.

 

"Fukuchou is much more important to the Shinsengumi, therefore your health is much more important than mine."

 

"Well I say that everyone's health is important. But if you insist, I'll go rest in a little bit."

 

"Ah," as Hijikata was turning to face the haiku book which he had only just remembered, he heard Saitou.

 

"Do you have a little work left? Let me help you," the young man leaned in closer only to find out that what was lying on Hijikata's desk wasn't work. A surprised, slight embarrassed expression, crossed his usually placid face. "Fukuchou has been writing haiku again?" Hijikata refused to meet Saitou's eyes and could only grunt in response. Suddenly, and without asking for permission, Saitou read the haiku aloud. That darn Souji must be rubbing off on him! "Oh, my apologizes," Saitou backed off a little when he noticed Hijikata's flustered features. "This haiku. What is its meaning? Is it not rather illogical that one would smell blossoms this time of year? It is the dead of winter. Well, unless this may be during a different time of year."

 

The young man leaned forward once more, inspecting the haiku for a second time. As he did this, Hijikata could catch the faint scent of Saitou's hair, which was reminiscent of sakura petals. "If I am permitted to ask, is this poem about a woman you like?" The question caught Hijikata off guard: it was very unlike Saitou to ask something like that.

 

"...I guess so," he managed to stutter.

 

For a fleeting moment, a disappointed look seemed to cross Saitou's features. "I like this haiku," he returned in a voice that appeared to be holding back a sigh. W-Wait, was he expecting something?

 

"Is something bothering you?"

 

"Did Fukuchou meet this woman at Shimabara?" Completely disregarding Hijikata's question, Saitou's curious eyes bore into him.

 

"I've known this person," he made sure to stress the last word, "for quite some time. I think that my feelings are one-sided however. But this person has been a loyal companion to me, so I can't really complain."

 

Saitou was quiet for a few minutes—wait, was he trying to figure out who this person was?! When the young man finally piped up, Hijikata's suspicions were confirmed. "I am at a loss. I suppose then that I do not know this person," he put a hand under his chin and gnawed at his lip pensively. Hijikata couldn't help but laugh at Saitou's perplexed look. That simple, almost innocent, expression of his was just one of his many charming points.

 

"Don't think too hard on it," Hijikata chuckled.

 

Saitou shrugged, "I am curious though. I must find out."

 

"Why?"

 

This simple question seemed to throw Saitou off, for he swiftly turned his gaze elsewhere and uncharacteristically stammered, "No reason in particular. I-I should be going since Fukuchou needs to rest." As he got up though, Hijikata seized the young man's arm. "F-Fukuchou, please release me."

 

"What? Are you too afraid to tell me? I won't judge you, I promise. Won't you trust me, Saitou?" The young man frowned but sat down nonetheless.

 

"I-I want to know t-that Fukuchou will be happy with this person. I want Fukuchou...to be happy." Saitou muttered the last part, obviously embarrassed to be saying it out loud. Was he trying to express his feelings? Hijikata stayed silent for a long time. He really wanted to ask, but he didn't want to destroy their friendship if he wasn't right. Saitou was too precious to him. But if he didn't ask, then he would never know for sure, right? Gah, why did this stupid romance stuff have to be so hard?!

 

After some painful deliberation though, Hijikata finally decided to take a shot in the dark, for better or for worse. "Are you trying to say you have feelings for me?" The question was asked softly—barely a whisper—but Saitou appeared to have heard it as though it was loud as a clap of thunder. He looked at Hijikata with panicking, wide eyes and began fiddling with his hands.

 

"No, no, Fukuchou likes someone else: I am not worthy."

"Whaddya mean 'not worthy?!'" Hijikata scoffed harshly. Did Saitou really think that way about himself? The thought alone was enough to sadden Hijikata.

"I am...I am not enough. Y-You don't want someone like me." While he was saying this, Saitou did not once look Hijikata in the eye.

 

Silence reigned in the room until the vice commander couldn't take it anymore: he cupped Saitou's face suddenly and kissed the young man on the lips. Initially, Saitou had tensed up and seemed ready to pull back, but he calmed down with each brush of Hijikata's lips against his own. Upon breaking the kiss, Hijikata rested his forehead against Saitou's and whispered tenderly, "Don't talk like that. You're more than enough."

When Hijikata finally leaned back he smiled sweetly at Saitou, who stared at him with a confused expression, "That person I was talking about was you."

 

"Wha—so that haiku," for once in his life, Saitou seemed to be at a loss for words.

 

"Yeah," Hijikata spoke in a sigh that thinly veiled his embarrassment. The instant he said this, Saitou's face burned a deep pink. Hijikata laughed, although it soon turned into a fit of coughing.

 

"Fukuchou needs rest," Saitou's voice was tinged with sadness, "I should leave."

 

"I'll only rest if you stay by me." Immediately the young man's face lit up with happiness, as though he was a puppy.

 

Hijikata lay on his stomach, stretched out on his futon. Saitou sat next to him vigilantly, his gaze fluttering about the room. His gaze soon returned to Hijikata though when he felt the other man grasp his hand gently and intertwine their fingers. Bringing Saitou's hand closer to his face, Hijikata gently kissed it. And after a short pause, Hijikata finally managed to gather his courage to speak his mind. "I love you, Saitou."

 

A few calm moments of silence, then, "I love you too, Hijikata-san." Saitou was at a loss of what to say next, and so he seemed to ask the first thing that popped into his mind.

 

"Hijikata-san, does my hair really smell that good?"

 

"Yeah."

 

~Fin~