'Addicted' Anonymous 《上瘾网络剧 》 Fanclub!

[ydk.mi69]

HD LINKS

 

[video=youtube;PFXMQGGne-0]

 

 

 

Can I just go hang myself now?...........

[Panda01]

THE mvyoyo7.... Crying bucket.. How am I gonna let go YZ ship after watching this mv:leaf16:!!!

Some of my friends told me, four of them having dinner together after the FM. at least some good news haha.

[HarukoYoshi]

YuZhou ship will be keep sailing.. Just not in public anymore... That Timmy's sad face is killing me... Damn.. Crying hard again!!!!! FML.. FML... T____T

[starbum]

From the look of the events that is happening since the Happy Camp ban, I believe they had been given last warning not to appear side by side, no interaction or whatever in the public. Be it in China or in other countries.We need to understand their situation/ They are only 22/24 years old. There's a long road in front of them in terms of their career. Behind the scenes, they are still good friends and they had to meet secretly even if they are not lovers. (though I think otherwise. )

 

I, too, was hoping for season 2 and 3. We have no choice, but to let go our "addiction".

 

Cheers

[Panda01]

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paper sister, you still at Thailand?

[ydk.mi69]

Ok seems like I was actually just numb earlier because now I feel like crying but..... I DON'T WANT TO CRACK AND I'M FUCKING HOLDING BACK THE TEARS!!!!!!!!

I'm being totally overwhelmed by all kind of emotions right now and I can't even collect my thoughts.....

I need to vent all that I'm feeling now....

 

People are all crying, everyone is depressed and I fucking hate that!!!!

 

I rewatched some parts of today's fanmeeting and also read about things we didn't see but which happened in backstage or in the "hi touch" after and I also saw some nostalgic, depressing messages with photos that the cast posted on weibo/instagram. And now I just remembered when I started stalking their weibo and such in mid-december and was looking for every single piece of news about the series like crazy because it was love at first sight after watching the bts. And now I'm remembering all the bts, the fanmeeting in Shanghai, all they wrote before on their weibo, all their photos together and seriously it started to get me really depressed.....

 

As I often say, I'm not at all the optimistic type. I consider myself being someone very realistic (which lead me to be too often pessimistic) and even people often tell me I'm too realistic for my own good. And I think what drawn me to these guys even more (and what probably drawn a lot of people to them too) was that their story is actually the kind of sweet and beautiful story that can gives hope to many. The kind which just makes you dream.

Too often I'm depressed thinking about what's going on around me everyday, what's going on in the world everyday, the kind of shit which makes one wonder WTF is life? What's the meaning of it in the first place? But then, sometimes, you come accross some wonderful things which make you believe that behind all that shit, there are actually a lot of precious other things to cherish and a lot of wonderful things one can experience.

 

I think Addicted and the cast's life these past few months is actually one of those things that can make people have faith in human being.

I'm not being too dramatic here, I'm just saying that sometimes even the most realistic, down to earth person need to dream too (actually it may be especially this kind of person who may need it the most...).

 

But seeing all that happened today it's like we're all just being dragged down brutally to reality. Once again you're being remembered of how much society sucks, of how people are always making things so much more difficult than they're already are and how freedom is just an illusion.

 

You know I'm really worried about the boys. As I said, their future seems now really uncertain. They had many professional opportunities before but seems like now all the producers have ditched Johnny and Zhouzhou because of some fear of reprisal later. Zhouzhou had a movie scheduled this month but there are no news about it. They filmed HC and RFT2 together but the shows were cancelled. Johnny was supposed to be cast for Amazing Race but no news about that either. Everywhere these guys go, there are controversies and scandals following.

For a celebrity who has already settled down in this field (the entertainement industry) it may not be much, but for newcomers, that may be a death blow to their career.

I'm sure they're worrying too about the fact that Addicted and all the things they lived these past few months may just end up feeling like dreams to them soon if they can't pursue their career.

 

Actually if you watch again the FM you can see that it's FS who's pushing ZZ toward JY, because he must know that it's also what they want. He's really encouraging them there. And when he gave his speech and was crying he said that he "hopes things will get better for ZZ and JY". Everyone is aware of their situation and it probably affects the others too.

One of the thing that made me feel really shaken earlier was when I read that ZZ cried in backstage.

I always thought that ZZ is the type who doesn't like to show his emotions or doesn't want people to know what he's feeling and that it's why it seems to me like sometimes he's putting on smiles even though he's probably feeling frustrated, angry and overwhelmed too. People who are always smiling are not always the ones who are the happiest and it's more often to hide their feelings that they're smiling all the time. At the first fanmeeting he didn't cry on stage and today too he managed to hold back his tears on stage, but seems like he couldn't hold them back in backstage. And seems like Johnny too was a total mess after the fanmeeting....

I'm sure it's not only because they're sad that Addicted has ended. But they're probably also thinking about their future and the pressure they're facing at the moment.

 

Since I'm very attached to these guys, obviously everytime I see them crying or heard they cried or I feel like they're going through a difficult time, I'm affected too, like any other fans. But today everyone is feeling that even more strongly than before...

 

Sorry to annoy you with all my depressing thoughts but I needed to let all of those emotions out.

 

I wrote all the things above before watching the MV and now after I've watched it I'm feeling like I should just cry once and for all and just move on.

 

 

Well, I think I'll just go to sleep for now because my mind is a real mess.

 

 

Kisses and hugs to all of you guys!

[cloudy_days]

Well... I woke up to all of this bad news. Tbh the news itself wasn't too surprising, but the way the fanmeet turned out totally shocked me. I really didn't expect them to separate ZZ and Johnny to that extent. Just wow.

I still haven't watched the complete fanmeet yet so the depression still hasn't really settled in yet...

 

I hope everyone is holding up okay. Especially

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, sending you big warm hugs, sis! I hope you still enjoyed your trip despite everything!

 

Anyways, the MVs were beautiful. They made me go back and reread some of my favourite parts of volume 1. Then I stumbled upon the part that was in the seaside version of the MV which I couldn't help but translate:

 

The next day, the two of them really did take a ferry to Huangdao’s Golden Beach.

 

Because it was the off-season, there were few tourists. The sea was clearer than ever, the sand was finer and cleaner. When Bai Luoyin stepped on to the beach, it was like he was standing on something as soft as cotton. Gu Hai was right, this beach was definitely a lot more beautiful than the one they saw last night.

 

They found a quiet spot to sit down. Bai Luoyin reached out and found a small shell. He waved it in front of Gu Hai a bit, and then threw it back into the sea, creating a small splash in the water.

 

“Ah!!!”

 

Bai Luoyin’s scream came without warning. It was like a way for him to vent his emotions, after he screamed, he felt a lot better. The people surrounding us can look all they want, it’s not like I know any of you.

 

“That won’t do, watch me.”

 

Gu Hai stood up and shouted loudly towards the magnificent sea, “My name is Gu Hai, 18 years old, from Beijing. The person sitting next to me is my wife, we officially started dating last year around this time, this journey has already been a year now! Although there have been plenty of ups and downs and constant disasters, but we will not turn back, we will keep moving forward!”

 

Bai Luoyin wanted to bury himself in the sand.

 

After Gu Hai vented his feelings, he looked at Bai Luoyin provocatively, “Do you dare?”

 

The connotation was: is your skin as thick as mine?

 

“Is there anything I’m afraid of?” Bai Luoyin also stood up and shouted: “My name is Bai Luoyin, male, 18 years old, lives at 48 Guang Cai Alley, Xicheng District, Beijing, third year high school student at Beijing’s X high school’s class 27, a poor kid. The person standing beside me is my wife, after all of his shameless pestering, I decided to marry him into my family out of compassion for the mentally ill. Unfortunately, my father-in-law doesn’t approve so this marriage is delayed without further notice, but my feelings towards my wife are sincere. Whether or not he will continue to be sick in the future, I will never leave him!”

 

Gu Hai laughed, Atta boy, you sure are ruthless.

 

Thus the shouting continued, “Gu Weiting, let me tell you, I don’t care if you agree or disagree! Even if you chase after us all the King's horses and all the King's men, my response is still the same. The person that I, Gu Hai, have decided upon, no one can change it! The relationship that I, Gu Hai, decided upon, no one can tear it down! The feelings that I, Gu Hai, decided upon, no one can destroy it!”

 

“Gu Weiting! ….” Bai Luoyin just shouted one word when he stopped.

 

Gu Hai held his breath in anticipation.

 

“I f*** your son!”

 

[jewelslove]

Ugh, the news makes me so sad! Yes, I believe that we all knew that s2 was very unlikely, but still I believe we all wanted to believe there was a chance. Now that there definitely won't be a s2 I feel incomplete. Sure the novel is there to allow us to know what happens with GH and BLY, but something just doesn't feel right. I wanted to see all the beautiful moments between the two with my own eyes, because to me, that just makes it much more amazing to me. Now that I won't see all the scenes I really wanted to I feel so sad. And on the other hand I just feel sad that I won't see these two together like this anymore and that hurts. It really does. And I watch a lot of kdramas so I'm used to one season series, but Addicted wasn't supposed to be this way so to me it feels wrong. I'll always feel it in my heart that there should be more. I will continue to support all the actors in whatever they do but I will always miss the characters of Addicted. Also, haha, like the child deep in me that still wonders and believes there is a Santa Claus, there will be a small part of me that will still wait and hope somehow there will be a s2. Or maybe even the last episode we all deserve.. Anyway, I was addicted to addicted but now I have to find a way to get clean.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

Also I didn't realize my post actually went through and since I don't know how to delete comments I hope you all will ignore my first post!

[Karin]

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Hugs! I feel the same! foxy3

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I also still hope for a S2. A part of me still think there might be a chance still... :No!:

[jewelslove]

Even if s2 is recorded on an Iphone..I will still watch it. I hope that some how these GH and BLY will make the return they and we deserve. Maybe I have a better chance at winning the lottery, but I won't stop hoping!

[Sloan]

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Honey, vent it all out. I am happy to see you getting it out. Maybe not all but still some is good.

 

Zhouzhou had a movie scheduled this month but there are no news about it. They filmed HC and RFT2 together but the shows were cancelled. Johnny was supposed to be cast for Amazing Race but no news about that either. Everywhere these guys go, there are controversies and scandals following.

For a celebrity who has already settled down in this field (the entertainment industry) it may not be much, but for newcomers, that may be a death blow to their career.

 

You pointed all what is necessary to be noted. It is convincing enough to believe that none of this were the guys' fault. They weren't the ones who neglect their fans.

 

I am very sad and at the same time disappointed. I mean, we can blame everything on the ban itself. But I was hoping that they'd conquer it; that they'd make a history out of it. They even made headlines all over the world. LBQT world knows of this series! We lost. They lost too... Johnny and ZZ didn't have much of a choice. I don't know they're entirely 'fearless' but like I told HarukoYoshi and ydk.mi69 that as long as they live in 'fear' (doesn't necessarily mean they're afraid but they simply allow others to control them), nothing will change. Obviously, they don't want to take the risks due to many reasons, and personal reasons too that we have to respect. I don't mean, like "com'on, grow a pair of balls, man!" to Johnny or ZZ, but people in general aren't really doing anything but complain about the hypocrisies in their political or governmental bodies. This is really discouraging, knowing that whatever they were doing is effective and is winning. It is perfectly reasonable to be angry. Because for future BL dramas, we, as fans, will lose trust and as a result, we stop watching- the audience for BL will decrease and production companies will cease to make any further BL works due to this now-history. We were treated badly, but now there's no point to the blaming game. It's all over.

 

Thank you all paper brothers and sisters... I will continue to read your translations, the colors of life and all your post! Addicted has brought many of us closer. On a personal note, I was pretty screwed up before this and I was at the bottom of my life. This series and this forum has changed my lifestyle a little and I started to be more healthy.... From the bottom of my heart...THANK YOU!!!

 

Thank you. Your post made me tear up. I know what exactly you're talking about! Because when I lost my mother, I was very lonely and wanted to meet others who are like-minded and share the same interests. Just to escape from reality for a bit. So Thank you for sharing this personal post with us. I hope that someday, we'll do the same for future paper sisters, paper brothers, and bring together one big family. And maybe together we can change and influence others to be more accepting. I am so glad that we created this fanclub together and we were brought in together. I would like to share with you with one of my favorite songs:

I've become impossible, holding on to when

When everything seemed to matter more

The two of us, all used and beaten up

Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose

You and me, we're in this together now

None of them can stop us now

We will make it through somehow

You and me, if the world should break in two

Until the very end of me

Until the very end of you

Awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin

They pick and they pull trying to get their fingers in

Well, they've got to kill what we found

Well, they've got to hate what they fear

Well, they've got to make it go away

Well, they've got to make it disappear

The further I fall, I'm beside you

As lost as I get, I will find you

The deeper the wound, I'm inside you

For ever and ever I am a part of

You and me, we're in this together now

None of them can stop us now

We will make it through somehow

You and me, if the world should break in two

Until the very end of me

Until the very end of you

All that we were is gone, we have to hold on

All that we were is gone but we have to hold on

When all our hope is gone we have to hold on

All that we were is gone but we can hold on

You and me, we're in this together now

None of them can stop us now

We will make it through somehow

You and me, even after everything

You're the queen and I'm the king

Nothing else means anything

-Nine Inch Nails

 

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Please don't leave us!!

:leaf9:

 

Yap, it is official no season 2. The end. I wonder how they gonna release the uncut dvd after all this commotion. Should we give up on the dvd too??

 

Even if we all buy the DVD, it wouldn't help the cause... because there isn't one anymore. What for? I don't really think it'd help Johnny and ZZ much anyway... they're getting other revenues. Maybe CJD but look at her history now... ]: especially a ban in place, and two strikes against her BL drama works.

 

Paper sisters, paper brothers~ you guys have expressed your deepest thoughts and feelings. Thank you for sharing to let others know they're not alone... Really, I am truly touched by such sentimentality that went on in this thread. Thank you...

 

I am a terrible mess of anger, confusion, happiness, sadness, depression, bipolar maybe! I can't even sort out my emotions properly, so I'll just write along as I go.

 

Honestly, there aren't words fierce enough to express my anger at the way they handled ZZ during the meeting, dragging him away from Johnny. Seriously, what the hell were they thinking? It was not like they were gonna kiss or something, god forbid that! Ahhhhhhhhh just ridiculous... but I won't rant about the stupid homophobia going on. Ignorant fools will lead ignorant fools into a hole of abysmal, total darkness and blind. And they'll never reach an enlightenment like Johnny, ZZ, FS, CW, CJD, and everyone who had been supporting Addicted since its birth and all the way to the end. And I probably said it a million times before. Fans from YO are very proud to have witnessed it all. Despite its terrible demise, we saw right through and knew better for ourselves. We know what they did was very wrong. I can only feel sorry for these close-minded folks. And of course, being royal fans, we are more than glad to give them our support- for Johnny and ZhouZhou. Ship a-sailing or not. And we would never try to tear them apart, which make us stand from others. We were called Addicted Anonymous. *tears up again*

 

I don't want you guys to leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you all very much. I really enjoy talking with you guys and I want to continue to chat with some of you. And keep coming back for more news. I am sure we can then go through the final rehabilitation and ultimately focus on either Johnny and Zhouzhou. I am still interested in FS, and CW! Maybe they should do a side story or something. Still I want to keep the BL world alive. I still want to demand BL works to break through the obstacles in China. Just maybe... we shouldn't emphasize so much on 'power couple' and instead just appreciate what they can offer. At least, we have learned a lot from this roller-coaster of hell.

 

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I am so sorry that I could not be there for you during the fanmeeting or after the fanmeeting. I was so behind that I was lost in seas of our conversations. I was so scattered throughout these days because of work. I think work has successfully distracted me or barred me from experiencing what would be a TOTAL DARK MATTER, unstable, both mentally and emotionally. I feel bad because I couldn't even respond to you in such a coherent manner. I cannot imagine the feeling of defeat you must be experiencing right now... you must have it the hardest of all of us here... because you saw the guys with YOUR OWN EYES and were in THEIR presence!! I can't even imagine..... I hope you are alright, honey. Just cherish the moments. It was once in your lifetime opportunity. And you freakin' MADE IT! I would never be as brave as you were, traveling on your own with huge risk, not having the tickets right away. I admire you and your dedication. Remember, I am always here and ready to support you if you need any help. Let me feed that hungry mouth of yours, will you! xD

[Strawberries_Senpai]

What no season 2 ;( for what reason?

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

WHY YOU END ON CLIFF HANGER AND NOT TELL US ;(

 

AND SOMEONE TOLD ME ABOUT YU QI AND YANG MENG WAS NEXT SEASON D:

[maddeningrush]

Ok seems like I was actually just numb earlier because now I feel like crying but..... I DON'T WANT TO CRACK AND I'M FUCKING HOLDING BACK THE TEARS!!!!!!!!

I'm being totally overwhelmed by all kind of emotions right now and I can't even collect my thoughts.....

I need to vent all that I'm feeling now....

 

People are all crying, everyone is depressed and I fucking hate that!!!!

 

I rewatched some parts of today's fanmeeting and also read about things we didn't see but which happened in backstage or in the "hi touch" after and I also saw some nostalgic, depressing messages with photos that the cast posted on weibo/instagram. And now I just remembered when I started stalking their weibo and such in mid-december and was looking for every single piece of news about the series like crazy because it was love at first sight after watching the bts. And now I'm remembering all the bts, the fanmeeting in Shanghai, all they wrote before on their weibo, all their photos together and seriously it started to get me really depressed.....

 

As I often say, I'm not at all the optimistic type. I consider myself being someone very realistic (which lead me to be too often pessimistic) and even people often tell me I'm too realistic for my own good. And I think what drawn me to these guys even more (and what probably drawn a lot of people to them too) was that their story is actually the kind of sweet and beautiful story that can gives hope to many. The kind which just makes you dream.

Too often I'm depressed thinking about what's going on around me everyday, what's going on in the world everyday, the kind of shit which makes one wonder WTF is life? What's the meaning of it in the first place? But then, sometimes, you come accross some wonderful things which make you believe that behind all that shit, there are actually a lot of precious other things to cherish and a lot of wonderful things one can experience.

 

I think Addicted and the cast's life these past few months is actually one of those things that can make people have faith in human being.

I'm not being too dramatic here, I'm just saying that sometimes even the most realistic, down to earth person need to dream too (actually it may be especially this kind of person who may need it the most...).

 

But seeing all that happened today it's like we're all just being dragged down brutally to reality. Once again you're being remembered of how much society sucks, of how people are always making things so much more difficult than they're already are and how freedom is just an illusion.

 

You know I'm really worried about the boys. As I said, their future seems now really uncertain. They had many professional opportunities before but seems like now all the producers have ditched Johnny and Zhouzhou because of some fear of reprisal later. Zhouzhou had a movie scheduled this month but there are no news about it. They filmed HC and RFT2 together but the shows were cancelled. Johnny was supposed to be cast for Amazing Race but no news about that either. Everywhere these guys go, there are controversies and scandals following.

For a celebrity who has already settled down in this field (the entertainement industry) it may not be much, but for newcomers, that may be a death blow to their career.

I'm sure they're worrying too about the fact that Addicted and all the things they lived these past few months may just end up feeling like dreams to them soon if they can't pursue their career.

 

Actually if you watch again the FM you can see that it's FS who's pushing ZZ toward JY, because he must know that it's also what they want. He's really encouraging them there. And when he gave his speech and was crying he said that he "hopes things will get better for ZZ and JY". Everyone is aware of their situation and it probably affects the others too.

One of the thing that made me feel really shaken earlier was when I read that ZZ cried in backstage.

I always thought that ZZ is the type who doesn't like to show his emotions or doesn't want people to know what he's feeling and that it's why it seems to me like sometimes he's putting on smiles even though he's probably feeling frustrated, angry and overwhelmed too. People who are always smiling are not always the ones who are the happiest and it's more often to hide their feelings that they're smiling all the time. At the first fanmeeting he didn't cry on stage and today too he managed to hold back his tears on stage, but seems like he couldn't hold them back in backstage. And seems like Johnny too was a total mess after the fanmeeting....

I'm sure it's not only because they're sad that Addicted has ended. But they're probably also thinking about their future and the pressure they're facing at the moment.

 

Since I'm very attached to these guys, obviously everytime I see them crying or heard they cried or I feel like they're going through a difficult time, I'm affected too, like any other fans. But today everyone is feeling that even more strongly than before...

 

Sorry to annoy you with all my depressing thoughts but I needed to let all of those emotions out.

 

I wrote all the things above before watching the MV and now after I've watched it I'm feeling like I should just cry once and for all and just move on.

 

 

Well, I think I'll just go to sleep for now because my mind is a real mess.

 

 

Kisses and hugs to all of you guys!

 

I was holding back tears and your post literally made my cried buckets. Thank you for that. Thank you for putting into words what we all felt.

 

I think all of us felt love through GuHai and BaiLuoYin. Their unconditional love for each others touched us, their willingness to put everything else aside and hold on to each other despite the adversity reached us in an emotional way. Who doesn't want to be loved unconditionally in this world? It was like we all were in a dream together with them for the past few months... Their joy was our joy and their pain was our pain. But like you said, all dreams have to come to an end.

 

I am thankful that we got to spend this beautiful romance together with them. I am grateful that HaiYin showed me the possibility of true love in this world. Although I am sad that all these are coming to an end, the memories they shared(JingYu and ZhouZhou) are real. They are not fiction. I am sure sparks did fly when they were filming together. It is reality that their first male kiss were to each other. And possibly their first male love was to each other. I am sure they both occupy a special place in each others heart.

 

Please don't be depressed. What has happened only motivated me even more. I am now determined to share the love that GuHai had for BaiLuoYin with everyone else. I am determined to treat the people around me(Like GuHai did) better. I am determined to treasure my family(like BaiLuoYin did) like never before. I am determined to work for the person that I want(like GuHai and BailuoYin did).

 

I am someone who is shy and reserved because I was afraid of the consequences, even running away from someone whom I liked. Now I am determined to better myself, be true to myself. If JingYu and ZhouZhou can be together in the end(after all that is separating them) what else is too difficult?

 

Well... I woke up to all of this bad news. Tbh the news itself wasn't too surprising, but the way the fanmeet turned out totally shocked me. I really didn't expect them to separate ZZ and Johnny to that extent. Just wow.

I still haven't watched the complete fanmeet yet so the depression still hasn't really settled in yet...

 

I hope everyone is holding up okay. Especially

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, sending you big warm hugs, sis! I hope you still enjoyed your trip despite everything!

 

Anyways, the MVs were beautiful. They made me go back and reread some of my favourite parts of volume 1. Then I stumbled upon the part that was in the seaside version of the MV which I couldn't help but translate:

 

The next day, the two of them really did take a ferry to Huangdao’s Golden Beach.

 

Because it was the off-season, there were few tourists. The sea was clearer than ever, the sand was finer and cleaner. When Bai Luoyin stepped on to the beach, it was like he was standing on something as soft as cotton. Gu Hai was right, this beach was definitely a lot more beautiful than the one they saw last night.

 

They found a quiet spot to sit down. Bai Luoyin reached out and found a small shell. He waved it in front of Gu Hai a bit, and then threw it back into the sea, creating a small splash in the water.

 

“Ah!!!”

 

Bai Luoyin’s scream came without warning. It was like a way for him to vent his emotions, after he screamed, he felt a lot better. The people surrounding us can look all they want, it’s not like I know any of you.

 

“That won’t do, watch me.”

 

Gu Hai stood up and shouted loudly towards the magnificent sea, “My name is Gu Hai, 18 years old, from Beijing. The person sitting next to me is my wife, we officially started dating last year around this time, this journey has already been a year now! Although there have been plenty of ups and downs and constant disasters, but we will not turn back, we will keep moving forward!”

 

Bai Luoyin wanted to bury himself in the sand.

 

After Gu Hai vented his feelings, he looked at Bai Luoyin provocatively, “Do you dare?”

 

The connotation was: is your skin as thick as mine?

 

“Is there anything I’m afraid of?” Bai Luoyin also stood up and shouted: “My name is Bai Luoyin, male, 18 years old, lives at 48 Guang Cai Alley, Xicheng District, Beijing, third year high school student at Beijing’s X high school’s class 27, a poor kid. The person standing beside me is my wife, after all of his shameless pestering, I decided to marry him into my family out of compassion for the mentally ill. Unfortunately, my father-in-law doesn’t approve so this marriage is delayed without further notice, but my feelings towards my wife are sincere. Whether or not he will continue to be sick in the future, I will never leave him!”

 

Gu Hai laughed, Atta boy, you sure are ruthless.

 

Thus the shouting continued, “Gu Weiting, let me tell you, I don’t care if you agree or disagree! Even if you chase after us all the King's horses and all the King's men, my response is still the same. The person that I, Gu Hai, have decided upon, no one can change it! The relationship that I, Gu Hai, decided upon, no one can tear it down! The feelings that I, Gu Hai, decided upon, no one can destroy it!”

 

“Gu Weiting! ….” Bai Luoyin just shouted one word when he stopped.

 

Gu Hai held his breath in anticipation.

 

“I f*** your son!”

 

After reading that part, I am bawling my eyes out. This is the part where they first vocalised their love to each other publically. Tacitly, they also made a promise to each other: they will love each other no matter what and no matter who tries to tear them apart. GuHai belongs to BaiLuoYin and BaiLuoYin belongs to GuHai.

 

Having read the novel, it is crazy how much fiction mirrors reality. Both couples are straight in real life that only apparently have eyes for each other. Both are facing enormous forces tearing them apart...

 

Only in the story, BaiLuoYin made the sacrifice to leave GuHai and only return after he was sure that he could protect GuHai with his own capabilities. I wonder if JingYu and ZhouZhou made the same promise to each other... That they will carry on their own paths... And reunite after both of them have found success...

 

:No!:

[HarukoYoshi]

I don't want to stay here even one more day with those feelings. Thank you so much, guys for worrying me. My flight date is 21. I feel so hollow.

 

Now I found someone to vent my anger, I guess.

Love you all loads.

I need to find a way to ease the pain.

[maddeningrush]

A little treat for everyone!

 

Fancam of Happy Camp! The video is 40 MINUTES LONG!!! And full of ZhouZhou and JingYu!!!!!!!

 

:Excited:

 

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Enjoy while it is still up!

[ydk.mi69]

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No sis. I didn't even vent out half of my feelings.

My mood is going from bad to worst and I don't know when all this negavity's gonna stop escalating...

 

I knew that I should hold back tears because once I'd give in it'll just become an outpouring of emotions that I wouldn't be able to handle anymore. And I was right.

 

I didn't slept at all and just bawled my eyes out all night long (well considering I have severe insomnia it was to be expected that yesterday especially, I wouldn't be able to sleep...). And all night long my head felt like it was about to explode. Even now typing this post is sheer torture.

 

I'm not like that only because Addicted's ended but also because all the emotions and thoughts I was suppressing these past 4 months, during which I immersed myself completely into Addicted, just came right back in my face all at once.

I almost forgot what it was like to look at your surroundings in the crudest way...

Add to that the fact that now I don't have any hope left to see the series being continued and here you can have the pathetic sight of me looking like a total wreck......

I think the last time I cried so much was exactly 4 months ago, actually just before I came to know the series. I'm what you call a highly sensitive person and to be honest every day is just tiring when you're like that....

 

Anyway, I read for a bit some people's comments after all this mess and I think most of them are coping pretty well with the situation and are thinking since JY and ZZ are still keeping contact with each other and are still close to each other it's all fine. Well, for me, it's not.

First because it was the story and the characters they portrayed and brought to life so well which made me immersed myself so much into the series and which mainly made me escape from reality. And knowing that I will never watch again those lovely, adorable characters makes me really sad... And secondly, because no matter what's going on between these two now, it's their privacy and, we will never know. Especially now that they can't show a single photo of them together or can't even stand next to each other...

 

But it's good that people are quick to get back on their feet !

As for me, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to watch the series again.

 

I'm just hoping for JY and ZZ to have soon many new opportunities to grow even more famous.

 

Well, I should have learned my lesson and not expect anything at all anymore....

[HarukoYoshi]

I keep asking "How could they do that to them?"

Seriously, it's a humiliation.

Two humans beings cannot stand together? WTF

What if they're just friends? OK.. What of they're lovers?

WTF is that SHIT? Where is the Justice?

Johnny's squeezing tight fist is a sign of warning to those bastards.. "You'll definitely have to pay back for this!!"

I keep trusting in them.. They will shine brighest till to the point no one dare to lay a finger on them anymore!

I'll keep waiting for that day two strong men standing on the stage side by side!!

 

I will trust and love them.

Fucking hate that stupid society!!

[ghlyyaoi]

It's a really sad ending on so many levels, as a lurker that has been browsing this forum occasionally since February I would like to share some thoughts on this whole mess, the censorship regarding this series is overwhelming even by China's standard, there were gay or BL themed movies and series based in China and never got that much controversy, the most famous ones I can think of are "Lanyu" and "Farewell My Concubine", the latter one even got a theatrical release in China in the 90s, the former one never shown in the theater in the Mainland but that didn't affect the actors who are Liuye and Hujun, they are quite successful in the entertainment business now, btw, I highly recommend these two movies. And a similar webseries conterattack which is based on the novel that has the same author with Addicted isn't getting this much censorship either.

 

I haven't read the whole novel yet, but it seems that the plot has some other sensitive issues beside BL, especially the ones related to the military, corruption, abuse of power etc., those are more sensitive topics than BL in China, not to mention GH and BLY are underage students in the novel, put their sexual interactions in a more inappropriate position, I hate the censorship but this whole unusual controversy around this series makes me wonder the reason behind it, to add more background information, the current officials who in charge of China's SARFT (State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television) are people grew up during the Cultural Revolution, which means they constructed their value and taste in the darkest time in Chinese history, these people are even more conservative and backward than their predecessors, this is why Netizens in China all wish them to die asap and let the younger generation take the office.

[HaiYin]

Zz just followed chen wen and fengsong on IG but not johnny. Are they not allowed to interact anymore?

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

I feel heartbroken

[HarukoYoshi]

I really love the last sentence. It made my mood enlightened a bit.

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[amnos_xo]

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I'm still here. Thanks for your message.

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I agree with every words you wrote. I wanted to write a long post yesterday, but my English is bad so I was sure I couldn't write a decent post; you made it for me. It's painful. Today I'm still crying.

 

I want to confirm this once again: Johnny and ZhouZhou can't appear together in tv show anymore ok, I get it, but they can't also take a pic together and post it on weibo? They can't comment each other post anymore? They're not promoting the webseries anymore, they're friends, they can't do this anymore? Really?

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Fans of the series on weibo wrote something about all this mess?

[sienna7455]

Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I posted here. I'm terribly sorry as I have been busy. I'm sorry, but below are my depressive and jumbled thoughts ahead.

 

 

Thank you so much everyone, I really enjoyed becoming a part of this forum, although I'm only a lurking around recently. I don't know what would happen in the future and I don't really want to think about it. The only thing I can do is surviving the present moment.

 

Although I've never personally known every single one of you, but I really love reading this forum, even if I rarely post anything. I love the interactions between all of you,

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's long and eye-opening posts, how

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spams us,

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who has worked hard to compile our thoughts and how brave she is to go to the Thailand fanmeet by herself,

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fanfiction,

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,

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,

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,

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,

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,

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, @m_chan, and many more that I cannot possibly mention one by one as well as the readers that had been lurking. Honestly, I still wanted to continue in this forum, I love all the discussions. But,... I think you can read my mind.

 

I've cried a lot last night, and I'm feeling really numb right now. I haven't watch the MV yet, I'm afraid I'd get worse. Everyone had already written their thoughts and opinion, I believe that my thoughts and feelings are more or less the same. I read each and everyone of them, I can't help but feel bittersweet.

 

I still have this tiny little hope for Xu WeiZhou and Huang JingYu, since we never know what would happen in the future. But right now, everything seems so bleak. Although I've had a feeling that filming season 2 would be very impossible, and if it's possible it's a miracle, the harsh truth just crumbled me down. Yes, I know, my mind realized that I should be supporting them at this moment, yet my heart is not ready. I'm in a whole mess right now. The fact that they can't even stand side by side hurts so much. All I want to do is just wallow in sadness and self-pity.

 

I've talked to

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and

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already, but the pain is still there. Is there anyone who wants to share their pain with me? I mean like, personally, via chat or such. I'm really not sure that I can handle this alone. Thank you.

 

(I've already promised myself that I'd finish translating Addicted with Estreline, but right now I just need to take a breather.)

 

Terribly sorry if my post seems dark, hollow and irrational, I'm not in the right state of mind.

 

[maddeningrush]

I want to confirm this once again: Johnny and ZhouZhou can't appear together in tv show anymore ok, I get it, but they can't also take a pic together and post it on weibo? They can't comment each other post anymore? They're not promoting the webseries anymore, they're friends, they can't do this anymore? Really?

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Fans of the series on weibo wrote something about all this mess?

 

It is like some dystopian Romeo and Juliet bullshit. Except it is real.

 

Apparently they are now banned to be on shows together. The shows which they have already filmed are apparently canceled as of current news(Happy Camp) and their schedule for future shows will be affected(Amazing Race).

 

Who knows if ALL future collaborations will be affected. If so, this means that no more magazine photoshoot together(where the majority of our sugars came from), no more promotion for Addicted and no more chance for any joint interviews.

 

As of now, they are acting like total strangers: ZhouZhou followed ChenWen and DaShu on instagram but not JingYu(?!). It seems like they are suppose to act as if each other do not exist... You cannot just take a scissors and cut out a portion of people's life as if they are a film roll, as if these past 6 months never existed for those people involved...

 

Maybe because I live in a democracy, but I am absolutely dumbfounded at how a government can literally control the personal relationship of two private citizen?!

 

 

 

 

Also, I want to share something I just found on Reddit on LGBT love. I cannot fathom how people in position of power can use it to hurt people and cause misery. Why? Must we always wait until everything is too late and lost what we can never recover?

 

Hi everybody,

I'm currently going through what is hopefully the most traumatic event of my entire life. I'm not out, so I have literally nobody to talk to about this. I thought telling the story to you guys might be cathartic in a way. What follows is a super self indulgent narrative, so apologies ahead of time. My heartfelt thanks to all that take the time to read this.

This story starts almost two years ago, in the fall of my freshman year of college. I was just figuring out who I was, and coming to terms with the fact that I'm bi, when I met my roommate for the year, Jack. We bonded really quickly and I soon learned that he was gay, and closeted to everybody save me. I came out to Jack sometime during the following few weeks, and while we did our best to not cross that line, we soon fell for each other. Hard.

The following semester was one of the most incredible periods of my life. Jack and I shared things with each other that we hadn't even dared to speak aloud before and sex was fueled more by a desire to feel close to one another than mere carnal desire. I was happy in a way that I never had been, and had honestly never even considered possible. Maybe we were in love, or maybe we weren't; but it sure felt like it, and that's a lot of what matters.

As good as things were, there we difficulties. Jack's family was extremely anti-homosexuality, and while my family would probably love me either way, they are religious, and generally against homosexuality as a lifestyle. On top of this, Jack has cystic fibrosis, and while he was relatively healthy, he spent a week or two in the hospital on a couple of occasions.

The first time we made love he was mortified to take off his shirt. But, after much love and encouragement he finally built up the courage, and I saw why. His body was beautiful, and he was fit, but he had a massive surgery scar running width wise, just under his pecs, and a port in his chest near his shoulder. All I wanted to do was kiss every thing he was self conscious about and show him that I loved it all just because it was his. Some nights were bad. He would lie in bed sobbing, with my arms wrapped around him, terrified of his painful future. I wanted more than anything in the world to make him better.

Things took a sudden turn for the worse when his mother found out about our relationship. She refused to believe that her son could be gay and blamed his "experimentation" on his illness and the liberal environment of our university. She pulled him out for our Sophomore year so that he could spend a year back at home, which was in a suburb of the city that our university was located in, and "get his life back on track."

As hard as it was, Jack and I determined that it was best that we didn't communicate during that period. Any indication that he hadn't repented of his ways would just be used by his mother as a reason to never let him return to school. We held on for awhile, being super sneaky about our communications, but we eventually said our goodbyes and agreed that I would contact him at the end of the school year to see if he was going to be returning for Junior year. We had every intention of picking up right where we left off.

Being that it's April of Sophomore year I decided to email him. Surprisingly, I got no response. I texted and called, and again, received no response. I checked his Facebook, which was admittedly never all that active, and saw nothing of note. That said, we weren't friends on Facebook at this point, so I could only see very limited information.

Fearing the worst -- that his mother had shipped him off to some conversion camp -- I decided to try to find his home address. So, I googled his name and his home city. That's when I saw it; it was his obituary. He died in February due to complications of his illness. At first I swore that it had to be somebody else, but then I saw the photo. That's him. That's my Jack. He died in a hospital less than 5 miles from my apartment and I never even knew he was there.

This was Wednesday night, and I've done nothing by lie in bed, silently mourning the loss of the only person I've ever loved. I have nobody to talk to about it because I'm out to literally nobody. It's like he never existed. It's like that whole year never happened. He was here, and now he's gone and my life is supposed to somehow just go right back to the way it was before. I can do it. I feel like a ghost, living in a different world than everybody else. I'm falling apart and all I want to do is talk to him. I lie awake and wonder if he was thinking of me; if he was wondering where I was; if he was scared. What little sleep I do get is dominated by chaotic dreams in which I feel him, but never see his face, and that doesn't even make any damn sense. I'll feel his breath in my ear, or his light touch on my cheek before being ripped from my sleep, drenched in sweat and with tears running down my face.

How am I supposed to make it through this? I feel like I'll never be normal again. I don't feel capable of happiness anymore. Please, anybody, tell me there's an end to this.

 

 

 

[maddeningrush]

Hi All, I just created a Discord channel for everyone who is interested to chat.

 

Discord is a instant messaging/voice chatting application on the web. The is no downloading/installation required. It's like WhatsApp on your browser. Just click on the link to get entry to the channel. Link will expire every 30 minutes, just ask me if you want to join.

 

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Come in a support each other here!

[ydk.mi69]

It's a really sad ending on so many levels, as a lurker that has been browsing this forum occasionally since February I would like to share some thoughts on this whole mess, the censorship regarding this series is overwhelming even by China's standard, there were gay or BL themed movies and series based in China and never got that much controversy, the most famous ones I can think of are "Lanyu" and "Farewell My Concubine", the latter one even got a theatrical release in China in the 90s, the former one never shown in the theater in the Mainland but that didn't affect the actors who are Liuye and Hujun, they are quite successful in the entertainment business now.

 

Yeah. And it was in the 90's.... We're now in 2016 and look at what's happening....

Seems to me like they're actually regressing...

 

I haven't read the whole novel yet, but it seems that the plot has some other sensitive issues beside BL, especially the ones related to the military, corruption, abuse of power etc., those are more sensitive topics than BL in China, not to mention GH and BLY are underage students in the novel, put their sexual interactions in a more inappropriate position, I hate the censorship but this whole unusual controversy around this series makes me wonder the reason behind it, to add more background information, the current officials who in charge of China's SARFT (State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television) are people grew up during the Cultural Revolution, which means they constructed their value and taste in the darkest time in Chinese history, these people are even more conservative and backward than their predecessors, this is why Netizens in China all wish them to die asap and let the younger generation take the office.

 

It IS EXACTLY what is bothering me. People seem like they're just waiting for things to change magically by themselves. It's not like that it works, and history has proved it many times before.

But I'm not one to judge and it's not like a revolution can happen overnight.

 

Anyway, yes, those officials in charge of SARFT will not always be there, but whoever will replace them may be even worse than those ones.

People's mentalities never change. Society never evolve. And I'm saying that as someone living in a country whose "equality for all" is a national motto and which allowed same-sex marriage and adoption for homosexual people 3 years ago but where you still can see lgbt people being persecuted everyday, and not to mention people of different religions who are being stigmatized more and more these days.

 

And yes, the novel contains many sensitive topics in China but it was still the series which was aimed by the new regulations and banned. As far as I know, they didn't forbid selling the novel. Right?

 

And actually the only sensitive topic which was depicted in the series was homosexuality. While they're still underage in the novel, in the series they were not. Before, when I was watching the series I was also wondering this, but I finally assumed they were 18 (age of majority in China) because they were often shown drinking alcohol and were even served alcohol by their parents.

 

And that the series is being banned by the authorities is one thing, but that JY and ZZ seem to be banned too as individuals and not only as actors portraying these characters makes me fucking angry and even more depressed.