It's Just an Addiction (YellowPerch & Raychu) [R18]

[YellowPerch]

Casey couldn't look the other in the eyes just yet. He hadn't the confidence for that. Instead he watched his feet, the shoeless, white socked feet that continued to stand in the doorway, not moving any closer to him nor backing away. Casey shook his head when Juho claimed he was till going to apologize. Then he closed his here's, but kept his head down. "I....I understand. So, I, going to try, I will try to not lie to you, to let you know what I'm honestly feeling." His eyes opened, but he didn't look up, instead he looked to the side, at the small bookshelf he had in his room, with very little books resting on it. Casey wanted to make this work, he knew he had too. If he continued down this path, he would literally lose everything. The fact that Juho was willing to help him, despite what he'd already went through, without the help of doctors and people who think they are your friend. If this was going to work out, it would be done through the determination of the both of them. Casey was only hoping, that his determination was strong enough, his resolve strong enough, to help him through all this.

 

"I know you don't like messes, but....you...still didn't need to clean it." Sure Juho said it was to help him clear his head a bit, but it was Casey's own mess, something he should have cleaned up himself. He brought his hand up to his vision and turned it over. He had hastily wrapped it earlier. Only quickly stopping some of the blood before wrapping the bandage over. So some blood was seeping through, even though there were gauze pads along with the bandages. They had fallen into a silence then. And Casey wondered if Juho was as nervous as he was about it. They were starting over, but just how far where they starting over? Casey figured it was going to be a pretty good start over, meaning they'd most likely go back to before being friends. The only difference is Juho would be monitoring Casey closely. The other worked from home, unlike Casey, so he would be able to make more time to check on Casey if he needed too. When he thought the silence couldn't get anymore irritating, the other was the one to break it first.

 

Casey lifted his head, enough where he was looking at least at his knees down and not just his feet. He listened as the other spoke as he wanted Casey to do. Casey could hear the desperation in the others voice. How could the older male just promise something? Wasn't he in this mess because he couldn't? But...this was a different promise. A promise to get him better, to feel better, to be a better person. Casey brought his left hand up And grabbed his right arm. "I....." He needed to make this promise, he needed to make Juho understand he was willing to help himself as much as the other was willing to help him. "I'll stop....and...ill make sure to call you....ill call." He still couldn't look Juho in the eyes, but his head did lift, so had he been looking at him, he'd have some sort of strength in how he held his head.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Raychu]

"As long as you're willing to try and be truthful with me, I'm willing to be there for you always. To make this work, I need nothing but your honesty now Casey. I suspected you of doing drugs before, I never brought it up because I believed if you were, you would've come to me about it. Out of all the people I know you know, I'm the most understanding about this. I watched my mother and then my brother fall apart. I can't stand watching you do the same thing," he said softly, frowning deeply as he did. He really did truly believe his friend would come to him if this happened, he was so sure Casey wouldn't lie and pretend that he didn't. He abused everything they had, he put his friend off to go do what he wanted. This is how it was going to end, they would be alone and away from each other for a long while. He couldn't stand that this had happened, their friendship was destroyed. That didn't mean they couldn't rebuild it.

 

"You don't even clean up your own house! I had to do it. If I didn't, who says it wouldn't have remained so gross and dirty, no one! You never clean up your own messes, you've relied on my to do it. I've never once complained either, I just do it. Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't have done." He snapped, only to catch him sound and say a small, "Sorry," as his apology. He did t mean to blast his best friend... no, his acquaintance. He felt bad for doing so, this anger was still rising inside of him, pissing him off, make him want to punch something, or someone. That someone would've been Casey if he didn't know his boundaries. However, he did and he knew better than trying to resort to violence to make himself feel better. He wasn't like Casey, he didn't do that kind of stuff, he tried to talk his way into peace. If only his friend did that too.

 

Juho couldn't help it anymore. He was done trying to be angry at the other, it was pointless. Casey must have been going through hell when he of caught and found out, when his lies kept getting reminded to him. This wasn't fair to him, being abused by his only friend, the reduced meant no harm. No, he did. He meant to harm and slice his friend to pieces for lying to him. Not now, that anger vanished as his friend wouldn't even look him in the eye. "Casey," he said softly as he walked over to the older man, crouching down as he lightly rubbed his fingers through the hair. He saw the blood seeping through the bandage, wincing. He wasn't queasy, he didn't mind blood, it was seeing it on his only friend that hurt him. "Let me redress your hand. It needs to be properly done to be affective."

[YellowPerch]

Juho's words hurt, they hurt Casey, not because they were sharp and accusing. But because Casey realized just how real they were. Honesty, Juho needed as much of it as Casey could give. And Casey had destroyed the trust the younger male had in him. Casey didn't want to feel pathetic anymore. He didn't want to look at his friend and see disgust in his eyes. He wanted to stand by him as a true friend, someone the other could trust again. Without worrying he would end up lying again.

 

Casey internally withdrew from the conversation as soon as Juho grew impatient with him once more. Sure Casey didn't clean his house, and sure Juho had found himself being the one to clean it. But he didn't think Juho would feel that way. But was he really leaving the garbage for the other to clean, knowing he would? Casey didn't think that's what the case was. But just maybe, his mind had subconsciously grown to adjust to Juho's cleanliness. He sighed when Juho apologized once again as his voice had grown. "No...I'm...it's my fault for leaving the garbage for you to clean. I'm sorry." Casey held his arms close to his chest as he slouched over just the slightest. This needed to change, his stupid addiction was causing a rip in their friendship because of garbage. Garbage that Casey could not himself just rightfully toss into a can.

 

Casey fell into his own thoughts when Juho stepped further into the room, coming towards him. He hadn't even heard the other call out his name softly as Casey couldn't lift his head and look him in the eyes. Right now, Casey didn't think he had the right to look at his friend. He knew he saw a disappointment in him, someone who was screwed over and messed up. What else was there in his eyes, that Casey forced himself not to look at. But as soon as the other crouched down before him he clenched his eyes shut, realizing that he was now trying to get him to look at him. His body had tensed under the initial touch of the other as Juho ran fingers through Casey's hair. But the gentle touch felt good and his body managed to relax a little bit. However, he expected a more gentler pep talk about his addiction, and what came was no where near that. Casey's eyes opened, but looked down at his hand which was addressed. His eyes just barely lifted to look at Juho. "Alright." His voice was quiet. But he didn't want to start up more flames within the other. There was no need to.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Raychu]

"No, I know you are just... naturally like that. Stop saying it's not my fault, my behavior is my fault. I need to stop screaming at you, it's unfair for the both of us," he frowned, fidgeting. The trash was a big deal to Juho, he hated seeing dirty places. He grew up with his mother leaving the house as a mess, never taking care of her own sons. He redhead took it upon himself to clean everything, make it spotless. He naturally would clean up Casey's house out of habit of his own problems. Some said he had developed obsessive-compulsive disorder when it came to seeing a simple spec of dirt. He never sought help, it didn't affect his daily like, it only made it look like he was a man who could keep his place neat and clean. He wanted Casey to clean for himself, though he didn't show it. He kept encouraging him to continue to throw trash around because someone would always be there to pick it up. He had a hard time stopping, he didn't want to tell the other what do it. It was conflicting when it came to messes.

 

Juho felt a stab in his chest, gritting his teeth as he got up and left to the room, heading straight for the bathroom. Casey wouldn't look at him, as if he was barely even acknowledging his existence. That killed the redhead. He wanted his friend to look at him. No matter how far they had to restart over, the memories still remained of Casey as his best friend. It hurt that the man wouldn't even give him a glance. Was it because his pride was hurt? He was caught in the act? Why? That's all that was running through the redhead's mind. No matter how much he was mad at the other for lying, he still wanted to be acknowledged by his friend. Casey was still his friend, always. Even if he tried to say they were starting over, Casey was still Casey. They were still friends, nothing changed that. He just was more cautious of his friend now, that was all. He wanted the other to at least look at him, face him, that hurt to be ignored by him.

 

The younger boy grabbed the kit that Casey had in his bathroom and other small things he would need, returning to the bedroom once more. "You need to sit up," he demanded as the other complied. He undid the poor job his friend had done, scrunching his nose as he saw the mess of blood on the hand. Seeing his friend hurt made him want to get sick, he hates seeing his friend wrapped up in bandages, hiding the cuts and scars. "This will hurt, I'm not going to lie. Don't pull away." He undid the hydrogen peroxide and poured it on the wound. It bubbled and did its job of cleaning. He wiped it away with some tissue, cleaning the blood off the wound and the skin. He took the gauze, putting some ointment on them before gently setting them against the wound. He pushed down the ointment so it would make the gauze stick, before he took the bandage tape and began to wrap it around his friends hand. He took the little scissors and cut the part free and he finished the job. It looked much better than before. "OxyContin should numb the pain you're feeling for it."

[YellowPerch]

Casey opened his mouth to say something. But besides saying "sorry" which at this time wouldn't to him much good or saying "its not your fault" again like he'd done already, seemed to be the only two things that would come out. So he closed his mouth and said nothing. He looked back down completely at his own lap, his hands lifeless in it. Had he been dead they'd be blueish gray, but blood still pumped in him. It was the only thing helping him stay alive, his body still working the same way it did since he was born. He needed to force a different reason as to why his body still moved. His relationship with Juho? That was a pretty good start. If his relationship with the other meant nothing, he would have given in to the drugs long ago. But he hadn't and instead he'd met Juho, they'd become friends and it was the other trying to gain his attention that made Casey want to fight against his addiction. But it was harder said then done.

 

Before Casey knew it, the other had abruptly stood up and stomped his way out of the room. Casey's head rose when the sound of his footsteps left the room and was heard heading to the bathroom. Casey let out a sigh. Clearly he was causing trouble for the other. He wasn't even looking at his friend. He was afraid, not only to see the way he looked at him now that he knew the truth. But he was also afraid of seeing his own reflection. It was his own reflection that caused him to punch the bathroom mirror downstairs. If he saw his reflection in his friends eyes what then? He'd throw a punch at the other male? Casey was damned sure that their friendship would end then. But perhaps he needed to try, or maybe....maybe he could look at other parts of his face, like his nose? Would ignoring his eyes be able to help him just a little bit? He wasn't sure. But it was better then nothing right? At least he was looking at him and not at the ground.

 

Casey sighed again and flopped back on the bed as the footsteps returned and Juho entered the room. Casey had managed to spot the medical kit in one hand without needing to look completely at him. At the other's demanding words, Casey sat up, leaning his elbows on his legs. Juho immediately started working on his bandaged hand. Casey sat quietly as he unwrapped it and the mess of blood and broken skin stared up at the both of them. When Juho spoke up once more about the pain Casey nodded. "It's fine. I can handle it." The peroxide was poured on his wound then and although the pain wasn't entirely there, it still stung like hell. He flinched, his hand pulling back the slightest before he pushed it back out. Pus bubbled out of the wounds as the stinging continued. Then Juho wiped his hand, wiping away the excess blood. Casey watched as the other put ointment on a gauze pad and placed it on the wounds. Then he wrapped his hand up again and cut the bandage and taped the end of it to the bandage. Casey nodded again at his friends words. "It stings, but it isn't that bad." Casey decided he'd manage to look at his friend then. But just before reaching his eyes, Casey had stopped.

[Raychu]

Juho wasn't going to admit it, he knew the eye contact was being avoided, and it stung. It hurt like hell, a stab in the heart. He couldn't let this cause him to falter, he had to be strong for both of them now. He had a promise to keep, this time it could be better. The redhead was an optimistic boy, he was always remained hopeful, that didn't mean he was too naive to understand reality wasn't always so kind. Casey happened to be the perfect example of this. A dose of reality he really wasn't ready for. Now his heart felt heavy in his chest, he didn't let it bring him down. If anything, until he knew it truly wouldn't work out, he would keep this hope in his chest held high, even if it hurt. His optimism was starting to burn, a sick feeling in his stomach. Being hopeful yet facing such a tough reality was a hard burden to carry on someone shoulders, he must carry it for both of them until his friend was stable. Juho would learn to be strong for Casey, he would stop being too naive to understand.

 

The redhead's lips were gently placed onto the bandaged hand, as if a kiss would make it all better. Even if his mother wasn't the best mother, she at least was willing to give the magic kisses to her two sons. She was just never meant to be a parent, Juho knew that all too well. Some people just weren't fit to have kids, she was one of them, that didn't mean she was a bad person. He couldn't resent the lady who brought him into this world, who allowed him to breathe in his first air of life. She could've been physically abusive like many of the drunken parents, however, she wasn't. When she did lay a hand on her sons, she was very affectionate. She abandoned them, she left them in neglect, but she never raised a hand towards them. She wasn't fit to be a mother, however, if she hadn't had gone astray, the redhead was certain she would have been the greatest mother of all time. She had her natural motherly instincts, she just was walking down a dark path she could escape from. She wasn't able to be saved, Casey still could be. He could be turned around. Juho wouldn't make the same mistakes this time.

 

The lips were removed as the gamer rolled over on the bed and made his way under the covers. He handed his glasses to Casey to put on the nightstand next to the bed as he got himself comfy. He wasn't going to go sleep on the couch, he wasn't going to leave, this was still going to be a sleepover like he had planned, even if it all went into chaos. "It would be best to rest up and talk about this in the morning, yes? I care a lot about you Casey, if you truly want to come clean, I need you to work with me the best you can. If I ever become too annoying and you want me gone, say the words and I shall vanish. Just because I intend on helping you clean yourself of drugs doesn't mean you need to accept it. I just can't lose you... So please don't make me have to lose you. Okay? Okay. Night," he said in such a sweet tone. He had calmed down once he bandaged the hand, finally accepting that this was probably just as hard for Casey as it was for him. He couldn't try and compare pain to one another. It was pointless. They were both hurt, equally or not. They both hurt.

[YellowPerch]

Casey knew very well what he was causing pain for his friend. But stopping something that you were already addicted too was easier said then done. He could see the hurt in his eyes just as clearly as he could imagine seeing his own reflection. With such clear eyes as Juho had, he would be able to see his reflection with no problem. Which only worried him. He was already afraid of seeing his own reflection in a mirror, as such, it was what brought the demise of the bathroom mirror just moments ago. But looking into the eyes of his friend, seeing the pathetic, useless, horrid image of himself was even more frightening. If what he saw in himself, was what Juho saw in him, then he'd never be able to handle what emotions came to him then. So, this was his only option, for the moment at least. To keep his vision away from looking directly into his eyes. If he was unable to see the reflection of himself, then he would be able to continue to talk to his friend with a little more ease.

 

Casey had closed his eyes once more, to ease the pain he suddenly felt within his chest. But as he had done so, he hadn't the knowledge of what Juho was planning to do in that moment. He felt the other's hands touch his own, which only made him twitch from the touch. But what he hadn't expected was to feel the warmth of breath on the bandaged hand nor the lips that followed after. Casey let his eyes fly open as he found the top of Juho's head facing him instead of the clearest of his eyes. Casey watched the other hover over his hand a little longer until it felt like punching the mirror had never happened. Like Juho wasn't kissing his hand because Casey had been an idiot and injured himself. That they hadn't just fought with each other and Casey's own voice didn't rise in anger at his only friend. But other then that very situation, there was no other reason for Juho to be kissing his friends hand. Of course, Casey had never considered them as normal friends. The two were closer then friends, almost like brothers, but still distant. But they were closer then most friends would be to another. Well, as far as guys went. No matter how he tried to think of why Juho would have the need to touch Casey as such, he couldn't think of a reason. All he knew, and he would hold onto that feeling for as long as he could, was that it felt comforting. From all the seriousness of their conversation, Juho was still willing to feather Casey with his affection like he always had. Somehow, that made Casey still feel what little hope there was for being wanted.

 

Casey watched as Juho lifted his head once more, but his gaze didn't need to be directed elsewhere, for the other decided to crawl into the bed beside Casey before the older male had a chance to turn his head away. He had watched the lump of blanket move up the bed towards his pillows and stop for a moment. Clearly it had been the moment Juho needed to take off his glasses. Casey reached over and grasped them gently before looking at them a bit and setting them down on the table. Casey really had no idea what was going on I'm his friends head, but he was glad the other pushed himself into Casey's house the way he was now. "I won't...I won't tell you to leave. I just...please be...be patient with me. I know what your trying to do but, I....I'm going to try." His words were quiet as he kept his back to the other. But soon after the nightly greetings, Casey had decided he too would lay in bed. He didn't bother with changing clothes, with covering himself with the blankets. He just laid on his side, facing away from Juho as he too slipped into sleep.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Raychu]

Juho was restless all night when he slept, tossing and turning, kicking me pushing. He didn't know if he was doing it to Casey or if it was he wall he was touching, either way, he knew he was uncomfortable so it was his goal to make Casey just as uncomfortable. Unconsciously, but he still was attempting to make the body that lay next to him just as uncomfortable. It wasn't unusual for the redhead to have problems sleeping, it just seemed a lot worse tonight than others. Stress induced most likely. He was under so much stress that his problems escalated. That didn't mean he didn't get a good nights rest, he never woke up, he jaunt couldn't lay still. It was never this bad, especially when he stayed the nights at Casey's. Usually he was able to keep himself still through the night, that didn't seem to be the case tonight. Juho was the type of person who always had to be moving because his body was restless. If he sat still for too long, his body would ache. His sleep mimicked his day to day patterned.

 

The redhead woke up, stretching as he sat up. Casey was still asleep, it was extremely early in the morning for even Juho to be up. He climbed over his friend only to fall off and hit the ground on his back with an "Oof!" He sat up, rubbing his back as he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. The most he could do was make breakfast before he decided to wake his friend up. He trudged his way to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as he looked around at the food left out. What a waste. He had bought so many things that it all went to waste over a silly fight. He took his time cleaning up the kitchen to perfection before starting to dirty it once more. He made simple things, French toast and eggs. Nothing to fancy. He was in no mood to try and do fancy. He finished after about half an hour, setting the plates of foods on the table as he headed back to Casey's room. This was one of the moments he dreaded. Waking up Casey could go good or bad. A lot of games he was more cranky than happy. The redhead knew this, even if he pretended he didn't. He just didn't care whether or not his friend was happy about waking up. He had to at some point, whether he liked it or not.

 

"Casey, it's time to wake up. I made breakfast. Wake up," he said loudly as he roughly shook him. Usually it consisted of gentle to rough, not today. He was more interested in getting Casey up right away than playing the game of trying different tactics. "I'll eat your portion of the food. It's French toast. Not before I dump a bucket of ice on you." This threat was the oldest he has in the book, the most useful too. Juho never lied, which meant he would truly use the water. It happened before, ever since then, it was a mindless threat used against Casey to wake him up. "Casey! Come on! I want to hang out today before you go to work!" This sounded like nothing was the matter, something he truly wanted to believe. He hated acknowledging that it wasn't alright, it was in chaos right now. Everything was not okay. If he pretended it was, he could easily fall back into his own little world. Not good when reality could possibly rip him from his happiness again. "Casey..."

[YellowPerch]

Casey had never had a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep. Of course, half the time he was drunk or had just come down from a high that made Casey feeling groggy and weak with sleep. But this night was different. Unlike all the other nights Juho had slept in his bed, this night was worse. The other thrashed about vigorously and brutally. Casey had been able to fall asleep, but it wasn't long before the younger male began kicking and throwing his arms around in hopes to find a better position. Casey could hear the thuds as he hit the wall, the rest of the time he himself was the target of Juho's thrashing. His head was waked my a hand, his back kneed or punched. Casey had kept his back to Juho the entire night. Of course, the reason was supposed to be because he just didn't want to face him. Now it was because he didn't want to lose an eye. Casey knew it was his own fault, whether or not he was having awful dreams of his past or the stress and events of what happened just this night. He sighed and tried to get himself into a better position and found himself lying nearly on the edge of the bed. He didn't know when, but sometime in the night he had managed to fall asleep.

 

Casey wasn't an early riser, less so when he didn't sleep very well the night before. He vaguely felt the bed shifting as Juho had woken up, but he quickly ignored it and fell back asleep. Many times before Casey had been woken up and rose like a bear being disturbed from his meal. Other times he would rise with a groan and slide out of bed. The beast like state of his waking form occurred on most mornings after he had been stupid enough to get high or drunk. And lately those times seemed to be happening more often. He could also be a heavy sleeper if he wanted to, and on nights where he drank or stayed up well into the early mornings, he could fall asleep and not stir from anything. Someone screaming into a megaphone in his ears couldn't even wake him then. But today wasn't going to be like that. He could hear the world around him clearly, but that didnt mean he was willing to wake up any sooner. And as Juho came into his room, he as sure he'd rather stay asleep then wake up.

 

Casey, it's time to wake up. I made breakfast. Breakfast sounded nice. He missed out on dinner, after the fight the two had, neither had taken up the urge to eat anything. Instead they both just laid and somehow managed to fall asleep. The rough shaing to his body came then, trying to get him up and out of bed. I'll eat your portion of the food. It's french toast. Casey did enjoy a good french toast every now and then. But was he willing to wake up just yet? Casey tried to zone out Juho's words before the shaking got more aggressive and the yelling got louder. I want to hang out today before you go to work! Casey groaned. Work. He forgot about that, he really didn't feel like going in today. He'd called out plenty of times before, why not do so now? He pushed his face into the pillow and rubbed it against the fabric. No, he couldn't call out this time. He'd used to many excuses for the past two months already. At Juho's quiet call of his name, Casey began to stir. If he didn't wake up any time soon, he wouldn't wake up at all until it was too late. Casey lifted his upper body and pulled his arms under him. His head still remained in the pillow, but he was now trying to wake up. Before long his head lifted from the pillow and it hung low before he crawled out of the blanket that he somehow managed to crawl under and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm u~p." He groggily stated in a half yawn.

[Raychu]

Juho was impatient, watching Casey take his sweet time waking up. "The foods going to get cold!" He whined, pulling the other up from his sitting position. He dragged Casey down the hall, the stairs, pulling him into the kitchen. He pushed he other to his seat as he sat down in his own, watching his friend with wide eyes. It was amazing how the redhead wasn't a morning person yet he still had tons of energy in him. Almost as much as a kid did. People thought he had ADHD from how restless he could get sitting still, they were wrong. He was just someone who had natural energy. He could sit still and strictly focus if he wanted to, he did it for work all the time. He just had a habit out of work to be moving all the time. Which is where cleaning had come into play, it burned off unwanted energy. It wasn't easy for him to tire out, it wasn't hard for him to regain that lost energy either. Some days he always wondered how his friend kept up with him.

 

"How is it? Is it good? Are they fluffy and tasty?" The green eyes didn't leave Casey once. He was watching him like a hawk would their prey, furious to see if his food turned out. He taught himself how to cook for him and his little brother, however, he was still in the process of perfecting his food and making it restaurant worthy. Not because he wanted to start such an expensive business, he wanted to be able to win over his soulmates heart with his good cooking. If you have bad cooking and nothing to show, they'll surely walk away. He didn't want to be useless. "Don't leave me hanging Casey! Tell me! I need to know if I need to fix something!" His lips were forming into a pout as he waited for an answer. He wouldn't dare touch his food until Casey gab show opinion first. It wa so my appropriate for him.

 

"Oh. When you leave for work... I'll probably leave and get out of your hair. I've been more than annoying lately, haven't I? Sorry. Your hand, becareful not to push it. If the wound breaks open and it starts bleeding, call me so I can come rebandage it and take care of you. Call me if anything goes wrong. Call me-... Sorry, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself," he laughed in a weak chuckle. Juno was just worried for his friends safety, not wanting him to get hurt or have anything happen. He was scared to look away and risk something happening. "Text me, tell me what's going on. Your feelings. Anything. Text me." The wide eyes soon were full of a hint of pain as he looked at his food, stabbing it with a fork. When you actually accept the reality, it hurts. He was trying so hard to be the best bud to Casey, it wasn't right. He was so pushy compared to before. Maybe it was better for him to have not known.

 

"I'm really worried Casey. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to see a repeat of my mother. I'm afraid you'll walk out on me. I don't know how to get rid of this fear. Help me, please," his voice barely reaching a whisper now. His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to stare at the food. He didn't know how to face Casey anymore without this stupid feeling overtaking him. Nothing but fear and anger seemed to reside in him now when he thought about what his friend had been doing. He needed to kick these feelings out of the hole in his brain, it was so hard to do when he didn't know how. He rarely experienced these emotions anymore. One traumatic time in his past and then they left, he held a good positive attitude. Now they were back and he couldn't figure out how to control them. Make them quiet down so he could focus on Casey. "Help. Say something, anything. Just let me know that your here."

[YellowPerch]

Casey didn't even have time to completely collect himself before standing up when Juho forced Casey off the bed, out of the room, down the hall and stairs and into the kitchen. He was then pushed straight to his chair and without thinking just sat down and watched the other sit in his own. Casey took his chance then to regain himself. He yawned and stretched his arms against his chest. When he thought his body waken up enough, he chanced a look at his friend before the food. It looked delicious. And it had been a long time since he'd have something so extravagant for breakfast, even if it wasn't much. Casey found himself picking up his fork instantly after and indulging himself in the golden food in front of him.

 

Juho was definitely anxious for Casey's opinion of the food. That was one thing Casey didn't understand. Juho was an amazing cook. Every chance he had to cook at Casey's the older male was always glad to be given a plate of his meals. Just like this morning, not only was French toast his favorite breakfast meal, but it was cooked by Juho himself, therefore Casey knew it would be good. However, while he did in fact savor the food. His expression didn't exactly state the fact that he was, and Juho grew even more impatient for his opinion. Casey finished his third bite of the golden toast and looked up at the other. A pout formed, evidence of his impatience. Casey shook his head and looked back down at the food, a slight smile forming on his lips. "Nothing needs to change. It's delicious, it really is." Casey took another bite of the food.

 

Casey was choking away on his food when Juho caught him in another conversation. Casey didn't mind. Though he liked his food more then talking, he liked hearing Juho's voice just as much. Casey stopped eating however, when the conversation turned serious once more like it had last night. "Juho, I'll call you, mate. I promise. I've caused you enough pain as well." Casey looked at his bandaged hand and clenched and uncle chew his fist. "I'm glad....your still by my side, mate. I don't know what I would have done if you'd left last night." He went back to eating trying to forget about the seriousness of the conversation. However, that didn't last long before the silence he forced them into broke once again with Juho's worried voice. Casey put down his fork once more, but completely ignored his food this time. He pushed it to the side so that he could speak properly with Juho instead.

 

He let his head hang low, he wasn't entirely positive how to tell Juho that everything was going to be alright. Because not even he himself knew if it was. He shook his head again. "I can't promise you Juho, we all know where that's gotten me." Casey's eyes grew dark for a moment as he thought back on his promise to Juho that he had very clearly broken. "I want to be close to you again. Bloody hell, if I lose you completely as a friend, I...." He fell silent. Every word he said could easily be tossed aside by either of them. Juho for not wanting to trust Casey anymore, and Casey himself, for letting the drugs control him again. "I'm going to do my best, I really will. But I'm not promising anything anymore." He knew his words were harsh, but there was no point in promising anything when he knew himself that if he chose the wrong path again, he would break them. And if that happened, Juho would surely leave him. Neither friend, nor acquaintance. They'd hardest be known as strangers. If anything, Juho would just pretend Casey never existed. And although the other may say otherwise, Casey was sure of it.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Raychu]

Being told that he couldn't be promised anything, Juho sighed in relief. Most people would be hurt by hearing such a thing, not the gamer. This meant Casey understood and was taking responsibility for his actions instead of carelessly throwing around a promise that could mean nothing in the end. That's all he wanted, was the words that said I'll try. If Casey tried, it meant he was still there. Living, breathing, warm to the touch. This gave him hope that his friend wouldn't just get up and leave, disappear into an eternal darkness of hiding. This made him trust in Casey again, even if it was just a little. He wanted to start learning to trust his friend again little by little. Being able to trust Casey would just mean they were going down the right path this time. He didn't expect it to be problem free, but Juho hoped it would be smoother than what he was a preparing himself for.

 

"I don't want any promises. Your here, that's good enough for me. Let's dig in shall we?" His mood brightened in an instant as he started scooping up his pancakes, wolfing them down. His food tasted fine, Casey was right, nothing needed to be changed. He flashed that signature smile of his at his friend before finishing his food. Right after he was done, he washed the plate until it sparkles, setting it in the rack to dry. Even if it was silly, the redhead wanted to get out of Casey's hair as fast as possible. Juho didn't want to overstay his welcome and he didn't want to put Casey in a bad mood. Either way it would not turn out to be the greatest. Staying out of the way was the best thing he could do for now. He had work too, there was still that huge meeting with his clients. Big protect... Big meeting... He only had four hours until the meeting. He really needed to dash. Juho had been late to these kinds of things because of his carelessness. He was organized and neat outside, in his brain, he was a scatter brain.

 

"Oh shoot! I really need to head home! I'll be by the store later today! There's a new game I want to pick up. A dating simulator, sounds like fun right? Right! Anyway! Text me if anything happens. I'll be in a meeting but it won't matter. My... friends always come first to me," the word friend was stated so coldly, as a dig against Casey for not matching up to the word of friend. He didn't care enough them first. "Okay? Okay. Anyway, gonna run. I'll be back tonight for the things I'm leaving behind," he shouted as he made his way for the door. Slipping on his shoes and coat, he left the building, the heated air hitting his face. He swore it was supposed to rain, why was it so warm? Didn't matter. He hopped in his car, making way for his apartment. No more time could be wasted, this web design was for a huge company, he was getting paid a lot. Playing around like this was going to kill his chances of a good restaurant meal.

 

As stated, Juho was at the store right after his meeting finished up. It went fine, which was never the best. It was the neutral area where clients would reconsider other people or just flow along with him. He made himself look so clean for the menX at the end of that though, he returned to his casual, unclean look. His hair was messy, baggy pants, a baggy shirt. It was hard to not mistake him for a slob. People assumed he was a lazy person who didn't pick up after himself until they saw the habits of being such a neat freak. It shocked them. Couldn't say he was surprised though, it happened so often he was used to it. Grabbing the game, he walked up to the front, yawning with a small smile on his face.

 

"Casey! It went okay! Can you believe it? A mediocre meeting! I'm sure they'll choose someone else. They are a big electronic company after all," he murmured, placing the money on the counter. Naturally he found his eyes on Casey's injured hand, still feeling odd about the whole ordeal happening. It was something he didn't assume could ever happen. "How's work? Anything fun for you?"

[YellowPerch]

He didn't want promises. He didn't want cold words that meant nothing. To Casey, he couldn't help but think Juho was just stating that he'd better not be lied to, else he would just up and leave Casey behind. But deep down, Casey hoped it was otherwise. That he was understanding of Casey's situation to not make promises, to not make things up and lie through his teeth. The mood changed suddenly when the other decided they should concentrate on their food instead of the conversation they had been having. Casey watched as Juho dug into his breakfast and Casey followed soon after. He'd already taken a few bites before Juho even started his, but the other had managed to finish before him. Juho was always a fast eater, and many times, Casey would find himself still eating well after Juho had finished.

 

Like now, before Casey could even finish, Juho was up off his chair, and washing his dish to perfection. He spun around quickly as if someone had snuck up behind him. But he quickly stated that he was running late and needed to head home quick. Casey watched the other as he made his way to the front door. Well, he suppose it would be nice to see him again at work. Casey always enjoyed seeing the other at work, it made a long day better. My... friends always come to me Casey twitched at the cold word. He deserved it, he knew, but it still hurt to think that he had very quickly lost the title of friend and would have to work hard at gaining it back again. Juho slipped on his shoes, grabbed his coat and left through the door, leaving Casey alone in his apartment. Casey wasn't hungry after that, and dumped the remainder of his breakfast in the garbage before washing his plate. He looked at the time on the stove, he still had two hours before he had to be at work. He decided he'd go and take a shower, an hour long shower sounded really good. As soon as he got to his bedroom he stripped and walked straight into the bathroom to take a shower.

 

As soon as Casey had gotten to the store, he was sure it would be a bad day. He was closing, which was fine, he liked closing, gave him time to sleep in. But when he got in, he'd find things already in chaos. Like now, corporate had called the store manager, demanding they change the layout of the store. In this case, it called for Casey being involved as well. Which wound up being a yell fest for the two managers about where certain fixtures and bins should go. By the time they were done, Casey was in a foul mood. He would admit later that he could have shown more kinder emotions when dealing with his customers and even his employees, but he couldn't manage that at the moment. That was, not until Juho came into the store. Casey hadn't noticed when the other walked in, too inept with trying to get the receipt printer to start working again on the second register. He nearly wanted to rip the thing out of its place and smash it on the floor, but he held back. Instead only muttered under his breath and hitting the thing.

 

As soon as the cheery voice of the one person who looked forward to seeing called out a stepped up to the counter, his mood relaxed just a little more. He stopped working on printer for the simple moment to listen to the other talk. He could already feel the boiling anger he grew over the course of the few hours he'd been there calming down. Well, until Juho asked about his day. "Fun, yeah," he scoffed. "Loads and loads of fun." He realized how harsh he sounded and tried to correct himself. "No, sorry, it's been a long couple of hours." He started to ring Juho's game up, even without the printer working.

[Raychu]

Nothing could cover up the nasty tone that Casey had used, Juho just didn't care. He himself was having a bad day, he understood where his friend was coming from. His bubbly personality just wasn't affected much by the bad day. He'd rather not get any moodier than he did yesterday, trying to keep a positive attitude was easier than trying to face the situation of yesterday. No bad moods would bother him as much as finding out his friend was doing drugs, being snapped at made it feel like they were friends again. A feeling he was almost missing. Juho knew he could easily say that he was friends with Casey, he just wouldn't mean it. It still felt like they were friends from a far distance, he was just so upset that he was lied to that the idea of being friends with Casey was nonexistent. The redhead knew that was an exaggeration as well, he didn't like not considering himself Casey's friend. It was the only friend he had at al, instead of being greedy about the truth, he should be focusing on not losing Casey. It was hard for him to do, he was still feeling the resentment for being lied to.

 

"Bad day? I can stay with you until closing, I can probably buy us some food if you want," he said softly, reaching up and patting his friend on his head. This did feel like they were still friends, a nice, warm feeling that spread through him. He was trying to mend it faster than he ended it. A lot of Casey's coworkers had come up to him wondering how he even got Casey to speak, let alone be able to touch him so freely. This made Juho feel special. Like he made a real bond with Casey before anyone else was able to reach him. "I'll hang out with you too, I hope you didn't cause too much of a ruckus." He laughed, watching the other ring up his game and take the money. A lot of times he was questioned for buying so many games all the time, he had enough money to spare. He wasn't rich he wasn't poor either. He was in the middle where he could pay the expenses and still have money left over to use for himself.

 

"I totally didn't impress them, it's sad. I could've wrung out a lot of money from them. Too bad, right? I guess it'll be a tighter budget than last month," Juho went on to start some kind of conversation with Casey as he leaned against the counter. His job was stressful sometimes, he could never predict the amount of money he would lose or take. Web designing wasn't hard, it wasn't easy getting the clients in either. "Your hair is so soft!" He started to ruffle that hair with the hand that was on Casey's head. He retracted his hand as his smile dropped a bit, giving him a more serious look. "About yesterday, don't think too much of what I said. Not being friends anymore? That's silly, your still my friend. I just got... worried. You know how I get when I panic. You know me better than anyone."