Asking help for traslation to English ( _ _)

[cutycutyhyaline]

Hello!

 

My friend made BL visual novel for adult. And now, she works to translating to English now.

 

But she is not native speaker of english, and I'm not either.

 

So I want to ask some help for translation. Just read below box, and please tell me how it is natural in literary, and whether there is problem in grammar.

 

If you tell me about feeling of these sentences, I will be very happy>_

 

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Henry : Where are we headed now, Arthur?

Arthur : 'Ash Forest Hall.'

Henry : But you gave me the same answer just minutes ago.

Arthur : Did I, Henry?

Henry : Yes, and I would very much prefer a more detailed description.

Arthur : It's a earl's old country house. A stately estate surrounded by a large forest. There is a lake near the house, and when the fog rises from the water, the woods and the house appear to be painted in the color of ash. That is why the house is called Ash Forest.

Henry : Are there any other houses nearby?

Arthur : Well, there are a couple far off. But the Earl's household doesn't seem to socialize with them very often.

Henry : Just the mention of it nearly gave me a fit of the blue devils. To think I left behind lavish balls and banquets and the opera, just to be stranded with apparently nothing to entertain myself.

Henry : Ahh, I see. His Lordship must be blessed with some exquisitely charming daughters, correct?

Arthur : I'm afraid he only has sons. Even his lady is away at London.

Henry : .....how dismal. Hopelessly dismal.

Henry : We leave London for a change, and you had to travel to the dreariest of places instead of the beautiful beaches of France?

Arthur : Then why did you join me? I repeatedly told you to keep away.

Henry : Because you stubbornly refused to tell me where you're headed and what you're planning to do. I naturally assumed you were sneaking off somewhere enthralling, but it seems I was mistaken.

Henry : Can't you at least tell me now? What matter of unholy business is taking you to that house?

Arthur : The reason I'm returning to Ash Forest is……

Arthur : (monologue) To destroy every single thing in that house.

 

A uniformed footman opened the carriage door, and Arthur descended from the vehicle.

Before his eyes was a sight he can never forget even if he tried.

Ash Forest Hall.

The mansion consisted of a main building in the front and a conjoining three-story annex built approximately 100 years ago.

It was surrounded not by some meticulously trimmed garden but a vast lawn spreading away from the building, effectively emphasizing the structure's magnificence.

With nothing to obstruct the view, visitors cannot help but recognize the mansion's presence from afar, long before they reach the building.

From a very young age, the tenants of the earl's land would look up to the mansion and learn to distinguish the ruling class and the subjugated without being told.

For that is why the houses of the nobility are structured and presented as they are.

Arthur, too, was once intimidated by this mansion.

But during the past 10 years he had visited numerous mansions to make social calls, and Ash Forest Hall was no longer an object of awe or reverence for him.

Countless thoughts rushed through his mind, but only for a brief moment.

Arthur gazed upon the front door — or more precisely, the person who arrived at the door to greet him and Henry.

The man who stood before them commanded a group of servants. He was obviously the master of the house, or his proxy.

His azure eyes were the color of blue topaz, the facial features were finely sculpted, and his posture was dignified and stately. Even if he was to dress in coarse linen clothes instead of an elegant cutaway coat, these qualities would clearly mark him as a nobleman.

His expression was painfully stiff and hard. He shot a glance at Arthur, then turned his attention towards Henry, who was standing behind Arthur.

 

 

(for adult)

Philip : You are not resisting?

 

Instead of replying, Arthur concentrated his senses on the fingers feeling up his chest.

Revealing carnal intent, they caressed a certain spot almost obsessively.

Arthur did not find the sensation entirely unpleasant — in fact, it was quite to his liking.

 

Arthur : ……aah…nnh…….

Philip :……that's it. Be a good boy now.

 

His hands left Arthur's chest with a tinge of ruefulness, then began unbuttoning his trousers.

 

Arthur : Ugh……! Aah……nnngh……

 

Arthur gnawed on his lips, feeling the finger squeezing into him.

 

Philip : Why the fuss? Apparently this isn't your first time.

Arthur : …unnh……haah……

 

He could not afford to answer.

His entire body jolted and trembled whenever the thick finger slithered inside him; he could barely contain himself.

 

Philip : I wonder……. How many?

Arthur : ……I don't care to remember……

Philip : Why did you do such things?

Arthur : I just wanted to.

Philip : …….

 

The finger inside him had remained still for a moment, but then he felt it tighten, then moving with sudden vigor as if intending to open up his insides forcefully.

 

Arthur : ……unnh……!

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Thank you