Bittersweet (Zombie and Rin) [18+]

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot seemed a bit confused when he was asked the question. "Uh-... I'm okay with water, I guess?" He replied hesitantly, unsure of what Suza wanted to hear him say. The cheeky grin only made him feel more out of balance. What was even going on? What did Suza mean? This was getting him a bit stressed and anxious. He really had to get himself back together... Elliot didn't show any of his internal fear, only the confusion showing on his face.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Good to know!" the brunette replied before he lowered his hands into the water and splashed a certain amount of the refreshing liquid at his lover. "That's why I wanted to know!" After all, it was not his intention to hurt Elliot or make him feel uncomfortable. And he had learned that many, many people despised water play a lot.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot instinctively lifted his hand up to cover his eyes, a cheerful laugh slipping past his lips as he was splashed with water. "I'll take this as a challenge." He grinned, soon repaying the favor by splashing water on Suza as well. Before his boyfriend could splash him again, however, the man dove down into the water, seemingly swimming away from the other - while in reality he was just making a circle around him, coming up from behind to suddenly yank him underwater as well. As he resurfaced, Elliot laughed, running his hands over his wet hair. "Sorry~" He chuckled, not apologetic whatsoever.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Hmm... That's slightly unfair!" Suzaku laughed, looking around and trying to find his lover underwater. "You chea-" And from one moment to the next, he was pulled under the surface as well only to come up a little bit later. Gasping for air, he coughed a little and slung his arms around Elliot's neck. "That was meeeeean~" he purred. "Now I have to wash my hair because of you~" He hadn't had that much fun with another person. Or rather, a girl. Girls were not as careless.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot smiled sweetly at his boyfriend, carefully moving his arms around the other's waist. "Me? Mean? Never." He chuckled, leaning down to press a short, sweet kiss to the other's lips. The reason it was short was because a man to the right of them yelled 'fucking faggots' while staring right at them. That only caused Elliot to pull back away, fear seething into him, his whole body tensing instantly. His gaze wandered aimlessly, but desperately, over the water, immediately turning away if someone came into view. Oh, Gods. He shouldn't have come here. What was he doing? This was a bad idea. "I-... I can't-..." He stuttered, even his hands beginning to shake.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Suzaku flinched out of surprise when someone shouted an insult to the duo. His glance wandered over to the person who had said it before it went back to Elliot who pulled back and surprised the brunette even more. Suzaku tilted his head, before he took Elliot's hand and gently lifted his thin up with two fingers to meet his eyes. "Hey, look at me. Everything's fine." He would pull Elliot towards him but he felt like it was too much. "Come! I know a great place to some privacy! Other people are simply way too noisy," Suzaku added, trying to make the best out of the situation. He pulled on the other's hand for emphasize.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot was trying not to cry. Somehow. Anyhow. He nearly jumped when he felt someone touch him, almost pulling away, but Suza's voice reached him first. With a scared, uncertain gaze, he met his boyfriend's eyes, tears already forming in his own. Biting down on his lip rather harshly, the blond only nodded, squeezing Suza's hand tightly. He didn't trust his voice enough to speak. He also couldn't get himself to look at anyone else - and soon his gaze was back down to the water. He almost looked ashamed.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Don't worry." Suzaku kept the smile up, turned to the side and led his lover along. They walked through the water towards the other end of the beach. Strong brown rocks rose up into the sky in front of them. "Be careful." Suzaku, squeezing Elliot's hand, pulled the taller one along and through a tiny path where the water only hit their hips. But soon enough they were surrounded by the rocks and no other soul was to be seen. "See? This is much better!"

 

Letting go of his boyfriend's hand, the brunette turned around. "What do you think?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot felt like everyone was staring at them - at him. This was horrible. He couldn't take it. The man followed his boyfriend while thoughts spun around in his head. He wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't worth any help. He didn't deserve love. He should have stayed there and let people laugh at him. At least that way he could have been useful. He didn't even react at first when Suza spoke, only realizing something was happening when his hand was let go. Elliot looked up, his lips parting, eyes watering further - and then he realized that they were alone. A slow exhale left his mouth, his body seeming to relax, though only a bit. "I'm sorry..." He apologized quietly, looking down at his hands, which were still shaking slightly. "I'm not-... Not really good... With that kind of thing." He explained shakily, clearly still a little bit scared.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"With that kind of thing? You mean humiliation?" Oh, well, he was experienced. Not in the good way, though. Being used to it made it easy to hide how much it hurt, that was nice and also a tad sad. But only a wee bit. His father was a master of such things, and even more. The entire Yakuza was. Marcus was, too.

 

He tilted his head a little at the thought. "And what helps you? Do you need something like anti-depressiva or so?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

"With people staring, and talking, and pointing at me and-..." Elliot hung his head in shame, beginning to fiddle with his hands. "Just... People in general." He summed up, feeling rather pathetic. No, not even rather, just really pathetic. His lower lip trembled slightly at the question as he forced himself to look up at Suza. "It doesn't do me any good to take my meds when it isn't time for them." He replied quietly, quickly bringing his hands to his eyes, wiping off the stray tear that managed to slip out. "I'm sorry, this... God, fuck." He whispered helplessly, truly beginning to feel like a failure. He thought he was doing better.

[♠[Rin]♠]

With a worried look on his face, the brunette was a little unsure as to what he should do. He surely wasn't born to help a person such as Elliot. Suzaku crossed his arms a little insecurely and lifted his shoulders. "So.. is there anything else I can do for you?" Eh, fuck Marcus and his experiments with people.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot sunk deeper into the water, covering his face with his hands. He just shook his head, while desperately trying not to cry. He was so pathetic. He didn't deserve to be here. He didn't deserve to live anymore. Maybe once he got back he should just drink all the pills he had left and kill himself... That sounded like a wonderful idea. Up till now he'd tried to kill himself several times, but was found each time. He cut himself as well, in places where people wouldn't see. "I'm so sorry..." He nearly hiccuped out, his fingers digging slightly into his skull. He wanted to drown.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The brunette was confused and clueless. He couldn't give Elliot anything but a puzzled look as mentioned boy broke down in front of his eyes. Eh... What to do? He really didn't want to just touch him like that, but he figured it was better than having someone almost drown himself.

Suzaku laid his arms around Elliot and brainstormed. Such people didn't like being told that everything would be okay, right? So, uhm...

He exhaled. Did Elliot even get professional help?

 

"Hey... hey it's okay," he tried. "Don't worry. Whatever you are telling yourself, don't let yourself down." Did that sound right? He was horrible at this. He may be used to misuse and abuse but... this was another thing. This was a broken thing. This was just was a person of broken fragments somewhat glued together!

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot flinched at the touch, but leaned into it only moments after. Hiccuping softly, his body trembled slightly as he clung onto his sanity as desperately as he could. Suzaku shouldn't have seen him like this. Shit. He was a mess. A pathetic mess. Egoistic, too... The man wrapped his arms tightly around the other, pressing his head into his chest. He was absolutely terrified. Elliot seemed more like a child than an adult at the moment. Just a scared kid after a really bad nightmare, clinging to his mother for safety - this was how he felt right now. Choking out another apology, Elliot didn't move to pull away. He couldn't. He didn't want to see the look in Suza's eyes. It would be either disappointment or disgust. Either one would make him break all over again.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Shhh... it's fine..." He mumbled, tightening his embrace a little. How was he supposed to help him in any way? This boy was literally giving up himself it seemed. And depressed people could only help themselves... so what if he was totally useless? It was a tad sad.

 

"Come, Elliot, we should leave," he gently said, stroking over the other's back tenderly. He couldn't think of something else now, yet he thought the other was probably better at a place he knew... Suzaku could also take care of him.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Suzaku saying that only fueled Elliot's insecurities. Of course his boyfriend wouldn't want to be seen with someone like him. No one would want to be seen with someone like him. Taking in a shuddered breath, he forced himself to pull away, his eyes already reddened and slightly puffy from his crying. The man nodded, though his lip was still trembling. Boy, he wasn't okay in the slightest. He did get professional help - he went to a psychiatrist, he had his medicine, he knew those exercises to do when he really panicked or got anxious - but the thing was, when his brain went against him like that, he couldn't remember those exercises. They were essentially useless.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Come." Suzaku took his head and lifted his other to wipe away some remaining tears on the cheeks. "We'll go wherever you want." He really did. He tried. Yet nothing seemed to work.

Slowly, he dragged Elliot with him back to the beach and out of the water, before he started to pack his and his boyfriend's things. "We could get something on the way. Are you hungry, thirsty? Do you want some chocolate? Or cacao?"

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot was incredibly hesitant to walk out of the secluded place Suza had brought them to. He didn't want to see anyone else. They would all stare at him. They'd know how weak he was. He kept on wiping the new tears that rolled down his cheeks, his head hanging low, gaze fixed on the water. Nothing else. When they got out of the water, Elliot let go of the other's hand, desperately trying to wipe off and stop his tears. He felt like such a loser... "I don't know." He replied quietly, a new wave of tears flooding his eyes. "J-Just... You pick, I don't... Don't care." He managed to say, swallowing down before taking in a deep, shaky breath.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Okay." A small sigh. He put their stuff onto the backseats, pulled two towels out and put them ontop of the seats. "Climb in." He said, sitting down himself, pulling the door shut and buckling up. When he was sure that Elliot was done buckling up as well, he started the engine and rolled out of the parking lot before turning to the side and driving off.

 

Elliot's home sounded like a good place, the thing was that Suzaku didn't want to give him the feeling of being put down. So... it was probably better to choose his own place.

Sigh. Hopefully his father wasn't home... Otherwise a very ugly situation would occur. "Now, do you feel like picking something up? I'll pay," he offered, trying to smile.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot got into the car a bit shakily, taking a while to buckle up the seat belt. His fingers were too shaky for anything. To stop them from trembling so much, he gripped onto his swimming trunks, accidentally pulling them up slightly, revealing the beginnings of the many scars on his inner thighs. He himself didn't realize they were visible now, as he was looking at the road instead. "N-No... I'm good." He replied quietly, his voice a bit hoarse. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He could open the car door, jump out and die like that. He wanted to die. It wasn't good to leave him alone in this state, at least Suza realized that much. He would definitely kill himself if he was alone. The thoughts would pressure him into finally ending the job he'd started so many times before.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"...if you say so."

 

He mused a little. Maybe he had something at home. Who knew? Cookies or cacao. Chocolate. It was said to lift the mood a little for a short period of time. Just ... much chocolate.

Suzaku drove to the next district of the city and parked in one of the two parking lots next to his house under a garage ceiling. He climbed out of the car, took the towel and closed the door. "Let's go inside. You can change in the bathroom." The brunette offered, taking the bags out as well.

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot had managed to calm down a little bit by the time they reached Suza's home. At the very least, he wasn't crying anymore. He felt like utter shit, however. The man nodded as they stopped, moving to get out of the car as well. He grabbed the towel, clutching it to his chest before looking around. "Uh... Are you... Comfortable with me knowing where you live?" He asked hesitantly, turning to look at his boyfriend. He didn't want to be a burden, but mostly he didn't want to bother Suza any more. He'd already fucked up their relationship. He wouldn't blame the other if he decided to end it before the seven days ended. He didn't deserve a relationship anyway.

[♠[Rin]♠]

"Sure," Suzaku said with a shrug. It was not much of a bother. Besides, it was nearly impossible to break into his father's house. More than only alarm systems protected it. More than a normal human with a normal mind would think of.

"Let's go inside." Softly, he pulled the other with him by the wrist, carrying their bags in his other hand. They walked through a tall fence doorway and along a path of white stones to an old-fashioned veranda. Two stairs upwards and they stood in front of a white door. Suzaku let go of Elliot, fished his keys out of his bag and unlocked the door three times, before pulling it open and gesturing for Elliot to step in first. "Make yourself at home and don't let the cats scare you."

[Zombie_In_A_Box]

Elliot followed his boyfriend a bit shyly, but looked around curiously nevertheless. Honestly, it was really pretty. He couldn't help but voice his thoughts, "This is beautiful... It's such a nice house." He muttered, moving his hand slightly to take his boyfriend's into his own instead of his being held by the wrist. The blond seemed to forget about his own inner turmoil for a moment as they reached the door, a smile finally pulling at his lips at the words. "I doubt any cat would be able to scare me. They're not human." He replied a bit absentmindedly, then stepped into the house. He took off his flip-flops, eyes widening as he looked around the house, drinking in every detail. "Woah... It's even prettier on the inside..." He muttered in amazement, his hand moving up to run through his hair quickly.