(Question for Girl Only) What will you do if your boyfriend is Gay????

[EmiZea]

If I were her I would not try to hold on to him, easy to say I know, but if he dosen't love her anymore, nothing good will come out of it. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time she should appriciate that he trust her enough to tell her how he really feels, and not just go behinde her back and become unfaithful with another guy. To be gay (or bi) is a tabu in many places and for him to "get out of the clorset" might be a big thing and I can only imagine how hard it would have been for him to tell her all this too. For him to realize that he is in love with another guy and actually admitting it to himself is one thing, but to say it out loud and break up with her, it must have been hard for him too.. well at least I would guess it was.

We can't controle how we feel and force ourself to love someone for real. I wouldn't want to stay with someone who didn't love me for who I am, I would be misserable to be with the one I love, if I felt he wasnt truely in love with me.

Love hurts sometimes, but I believe that the "bumps on the road" makes us stronger.

 

@YLover:

I can only agree with Koukoutsi and Ju.little.. you need to sit down and have a talk with him, or this will eat you up.

[YLover]

@ koukoutsi, Ju.little, EmiZea

 

Thank you guys for your advice! I really appreciate that you try to help me! I thought about that... to have a conversation with him face-to-face, but I think I'm just too coward and afraid to do it... Each time when I said to myself "Now I'm gonna ask him!", after I saw him all that courage disappeard and I was acting like nothing's wrong...

 

I'm so afraid of what I could hear from him... and I'm sure that if I'd ask him again to show me his laptop he wouldn't do it this time either... I did it a few times before and he always reacted the same... he became fussy and panicked and changed the subject each and every time...

[JuJu]

actually....i think that...he should have his own private things ....if he has some secret things, it is very normal....

 

It's better that we should respect this .......

 

hope that.....he is not gay.and he is still ur lover

[koukoutsi]

I understand your fears and if I were you probably I'd feel the same, but having a little chat is better than worrying over nothing (cause that might be the case as well). I think it would be better if you talked things out with him. Maybe it's a misunderstanding but maybe not, so you need to discuss it with him and find what's wrong. It may be something entirely different that it's on his mind and you're stressing over it in vain. Nevertheless, that's for you to decide what you'll do, but if you decide to proceed try and observe his reactions. Sometimes our reactions say more than words.

Anyway, I hope it's really nothing. Good luck with that!

 

A big bear hug from me.

[현애]

WOOT??!!! 1 Dorm???....if i Dorm anything could be happen...

erm...at this situation i think your friend have to let him go....i think if she still want to continued her relationship i guess it's a lil bit waste a time..she will find a suitable guy later...

[Kody2020]

If someone is gay or loves someone of the same sex there's really nothing you can do about it. People love who they love and there is nothing you can do about it. If my boyfriend told me he was gay I would probably be upset but then try to except and maybe even try to be happy for him and support him because being gay it changes the way people view you at least where I live. I don't know about your friend but I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't love me the same way I loved them. I would just move on.

 

@Ylover Why you ask try not to make a big deal out of it just ask causally one day while your watching T.V. or something.

[JuJu]

yess..I admire you dear... you are so strong

thanks for your advice

 

sometimes there's silent love...they dont need to be in return for their care or love XD

 

they only need to stay beside the one they love

dont need anything else XD

[JuJu]

If I love some one who dont love me..........I will try my best to bring the happiest thing to that person

I dont require anything from that person

I will do that XD

Stay beside and care ///like a friend

[Phong Y]

If I love some one who dont love me..........I will try my best to bring the happiest thing to that person

I dont require anything from that person

I will do that XD

Stay beside and care ///like a friend

 

it's hard ...

speaking is much more easier than taking action

 

if i were in that situation , i can't just sit there and pray for his happiness ... i'll leave him alone for sure ... and try to delete him out of my mind . If he had decided then i don't need to keep that hopeless love ... i can't stay beside and care for him like a friend when i still love him ~ ~ ... maybe i'll end up attacking him again :cuteonion50:

 

i hate telling lie , if my bf is gay, he should have told me from the beginning , not waiting for several years and " sorry, i'm gay, we should break up " , if he dares do that to me, i swear i won't let him see the sun again .... ( oh my .. .just kidding, kidding )

[yojichan]

I think regardless of gender...cheating is cheating. It doesn't hurt any less...it just hurts.

 

Since the boy in question realized that he prefers men than women and pines for a guy who won't give a crap about him then by that scenario, your friend has already gained something to her benefit without her even doing anything about it. He gets to feel what it's like to be unloved.

 

She seriously needs to find someone else who loves her and whom she can love without this kind of heartache. And stay away from dudes who like other dudes. She needs to be affront about that. Some guys won't admit to it right away but she needs to tell them of this experience so the guy will know what he's in for. And she'll know whether the guy she likes is worth her time or a complete waste of energy on her part.

 

I know it's easier said than done but she has to do it. The fact that she still wants to talk to her ex despite everything that has happened between them shows patience. But she needs closure. She really needs to get past this chapter in her life and just move on for good. There is no good in pining for someone who doesn't care about you.

 

As much as unrequited love is heavily romanticized in BL and everywhere else...bottom line...unrequited love..SUCKS! You gotta find the love who loves you back.

[kaorukun]

=w=;;; if he don't wanna hurt her, why don't tell her in the first place?

[midniteXfairy]

sing that song called 'gay boyfriend'?

[LoveHolic]

haha, if only she were a fujoshi, then if she was a yaoi lover like we are she might be totally psyched her bf was gay~! XD or maybe i'm just weird idk lol

[sarah3161]

she has to accept the truth about him because it's pointless to try anything , if he is gay then his eyes are only for boys

[TricksXia]

I'd do dominatrix on him.

[CA]

well you can't change your sexuality so its silly to say he is cruel. maybe a bit thick for dating her in the first place but its crueler to both of them to stay with her if hes gay. 3 years though maybe hes bisexual and doesn't know it. true love is reciprocated if they can't feel sexual love for you it isn't real

[animelovedoll]

I've never been in that situation, but I have a friend that I was totally in love with. I was the first person he came out to and I was devastated. It hurt, I cried, but for that moment when he needed for me to just listen to him, I sucked it up and took it like the strong willed person I was. I was going to confess to him that very same day. I had told no one of my love for him, and I had dropped not a single hint before then. On his graduation day, I hugged him, kissed him, and then drove home crying all the way. Still, after all this time... I haven't had a serious relationship b/c of that. I haven't told anyone that before.

[Ageha]

I've never been in that situation, but I have a friend that I was totally in love with. I was the first person he came out to and I was devastated. It hurt, I cried, but for that moment when he needed for me to just listen to him, I sucked it up and took it like the strong willed person I was. I was going to confess to him that very same day. I had told no one of my love for him, and I had dropped not a single hint before then. On his graduation day, I hugged him, kissed him, and then drove home crying all the way. Still, after all this time... I haven't had a serious relationship b/c of that. I haven't told anyone that before.

 

Well in a way or another we all pass by that but u should have confessed. Its better than pass the rest of time that thinking "what if i had confessed?" anyway... if u see him again and if u still feel anything just confess ur love and if u don't feel anything anymore just say that u once loved him. It will probably help u.

 

About me... well i never had a gay bf as far as i know of so i can't properly say anything about it. But if i do get one and he assumes to be it them i do hope and he follows his heart and be happy. Its no use to be with someone u don't love. Not only u will be unhappy but u will make ur partner unhappy too.

[anigurung]

tell her to undstnd the meaning of "everything happens 4 a reazon" deeply.....bad times are just an ordeal tht god sends 4rm heaven to test who iz strong enugh to endure it and wrthy enugh to be gifted with g8t surprises in lyf which awaits ahead... tell hr to nt to let go all thoze memoriez of the times which she spent with him untill the rit time comes whn sh'll be happy to let thm go... she shld feel happy tht she at least found sum1 who loved her with all his heart though it wz 4 a shrt span of time bt she atleast got to feel tht feeling of being truley loved by sumone,bcoz many people dnt even gt shrt time to experience such a wnderful feeling..... i hope it'll help.... GOD BLESS HER..

[<3Gaara]

That would be heartbreaking, there isn't really anything she could do though, may she should try and find someone else.

 

I don't really know what to do in that kind of situation though, so I'm really no help. Sorry

[katsunek9]

Hmmm, very good question since this never happened to me idk what I would do.. I'm kinda a jealous person when I'm in a relationship but I really try to hide it (don't want anyone to think I'm some kinda pshyco jealous freak, lol) but I think I would have mixed feelings of anger, jealousy, sadness.. I mean why would you hurt someone else but leading them on and not being straightforward and truthful from the beginning.? But I mentioned jealousy because who wants to be dumped and left behind for another person? My ex did that to me after two years of marriage, and handed me divorce papers the same day he told me he was seeing someone else and fell in love with them, I mean wtf? So the moral of this story is be true to yourself and truthful from the beginning!

[pandicream]

I would ask what he really liked in the other dude.. and really try to solve the matter. I'm sorry but ruining a three-year relationship for a matter of sexual attraction? We can fix that.. I am open for an open relationship if we really have strong emotional feelings together. But if it's because he has genuine feelings for the other dude than there is nothing you can do but woman up and walk away. I'd be a bit offended he kept it a secret for that long.. Which would question if I even still wanted the relationship.

[Sasunarufan13]

Just be there for your friend and let her know she can count on you - that is already a big help, trust me.

As for the boy ... It's no use wishing for them to get together again. If the boy gets back to her, just because it didn't work out with the other boy, they won't be as happy as they were before.

Sometimes it's best that people don't get together anymore, no matter how much it hurts. It's better to not be together (and try to be friends) than force yourself to stay with someone. In the end it would only get worse.

Also, some people realize late that they are gay. He could have only realized it now because he's attracted to another guy, or he could have realized it sooner, but he buried those feelings because he wanted to be 'normal' aka, having a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. A lot of gay people hide the fact that they are gay and try out relationships with the opposite sex, because they are afraid of the reactions of others if they came out.

Of course I don't know which one is the case for this boy, but these are a few reasons I can think of.

Sorry if this advice sucked :cuteonion53:

[gin]

I guess that's the moment I can say, "Better luck next time." Since his preferences are different, just accept it and end your relationship since you'll be hurting in the near future. Once he had known his orientation, he can't change it no matter how hard you try to convince him.

 

So the main point is : ACCEPT AND RESPECT. :cuteonion50:

[KyoTa]

I would forget about him and get another guy. I know it not easy to get over someone u love but the world doesn't stop there. The guy will have his fair share in the future and its goinna be crueller than wha he has done. Fight on girl!!:hamtaro-005 (4):