What Should I Do? (FurAd and AkiraToshiro)

[FurAd]

Setsuya wakes up dreaming of silk and soft skin, his two favorite things merged together by his whimsical mind.

 

He reaches for his phone on the bedside table and turns off the alarm—seconds away before it rings. His body has been stuck in the same habit for too long that it requires no more help to start in the morning.

But today is different, because he actually decided to officially skip from work and gets his long deserved break.

 

Swiping the locked screen away, he taps his inbox open. There are several messages from VIP’s clients and his secretary, which he just skims through. Finally, Setsuya finds the single text that he’s looking for, almost buried beneath the endless missives. He makes sure to mark it with a star this time. It will store it within his special correspondences, ensuring that he can look it up any time he wants.

 

He clicks on the message, and a cheerful face greets him, waving shyly from behind the screen.

 

Setsuya stares down at his brother’s face, recalling how bright those eyes shine from behind white silk veil of his dream. That same smile always haunts him any chance it gets. If he isn’t always so busy, he might have gone mad from longing.

 

The mail is just a short video, but he cannot stop himself from replaying it over and over, despite almost falling asleep on it just last night.

 

Because his brother said he’s coming for a visit, and Setsuya can’t wait to see him again.

[AkiraToshiro]

Eager..No that's not it.. Happy.. No, that's not the word either. Oh yes! Excited! Excited and chalked full of life could be used to describe how Akira felt. Especially after dreaming about being held close in strong, caring arms and having sweet nothings whispered in his ear.

 

Reaching for his phone, he scrolled through all the messages from friends, co-worker, random classmates and family. But one contact on the list was the one he searched for. About a week ago, Akira has sent a short video message. It was just the standard questions asked. 'How are you?' 'What's work like?' What followed those question were just sweet and innocent words that any younger sibling would say to the older one.

 

Akira's one the other hand held a deeper meaning. 'I miss you.' 'Are you coming home soon?' 'I love you' During his video he always held a sweet smile for brother. He would always smile. During his short video, he told his brother he would pay him a visit some time soon during his break from school. But he didn't really specify when 'when' was, just that it would happen soon.

 

Setting his phone down, he smiled softly and kicked the covers off of his body. Racing to his closet, he pulled out a suitcase and began packing. He was just going to surprise his brother with a week long visit.

[FurAd]

Setsuya is not nervous. Truly.

 

He has clean the house up, making sure that there is no stray dust that might catch his brother unaware and cause him to be ill.

 

He has also prepare Akira’s old room, setting it up just the way Akira has left it before his brother transferred to the college’s dorm, in hopes that Akira will decide to stay the night.

 

He doesn’t forget to wrap up the meals—breakfast, lunch, dinner—that he cooked, either, storing it in the refrigerator where it will be ready to be heated and served at any given moment—because Akira was always unavailable to reply when Setsuya inquires about his arrival time. Setsuya might suspect that Akira avoids answering in purpose, if he doesn’t know that Akira have no mean bones in his body whatsoever.

 

. . . Ah, and he has made sure that their mother knows not to be anywhere nearby when Akira comes, less she suffer the same fate as her foolish husband.

She doesn’t deserve to see his baby brother anymore, after all. Not when she tried to give Akira away to that girl a year ago just to get more money into her pocket.

 

So, Setsuya has prepared everything. He gets no reason to be nervous.

 

Truly.

 

The clock ticks ever so slowly on the wall.

His phone’s memory card must’ve been filled to the brim by the endless sketches he has created to fill the time.

 

Setsuya almost sends another message to Akira to ask if he’s ever coming home at all, when the doorbell—finally!—rings.

 

He leaps up from the sofa, dumping down his phone and stylus, and crosses the living room in three strides.

 

Drawing a deep breath, he opens the door.

[AkiraToshiro]

A bright, innocent that was Akira has just stepped off the bus that was just a block away from his brother's a house.

 

Excited was still the word to describe how he felt. Truly.

 

Even if his mother and father were home, he really wouldn't care even though despite being the nice person he was. He was disappoint and hurt by his parents. They wanted to give him up to girl just to have more money in the family. That disgusted him. For someone to throw way their child's happiness just for their own personal gain. When himself, his brother, or other innocent people were dragged into an unwilling situation. much like that one. Those were the only time Setsuya would see his kind hearted baby brother angry or more.

 

Dragging his bag up the drive way and to the porch,Akira set his bag beside him and knocked on the door. Biting his lip gently before laughing softly. He could hear his brother's fast footsteps to the door. Moving his bag, to the side just a bit, his smiled bright as the door opened.

 

"Did I have you waiting long Setsuya?"

[FurAd]

"Did I have you waiting long Setsuya?" Akira asks.

 

Just for what feels like forever and a day.

 

But Setsuya sees the bright smile given for him, and the thought filter away like sand carry by the wind. He would never say anything that will take that expression away from his brother.

 

So, he shakes his head instead. “No, you didn’t. You’re just in time.”

 

Setsuya gives Akira a quick once-over, trying to hide how much he appreciates meeting him again in person, and how much he despises those worn-out clothes Akira has been forced to wear throughout the school season. They must rectify that later. His brother deserves the best, after all.

 

“Well, come on in,” Setsuya welcomes, shifting away from the entrance. But then his eyes catch the glimpse of a gigantic suitcase that totters along behind Akira. “What . . . is that?”

[AkiraToshiro]

"What is that?" Setsuya asked.

 

Akira laughed softly and pulled the suitcase. "This is my overnight bag. I've decided to surprise by saying I'll be staying a week with you." He exclaimed happily.

 

He hoped that Setsuya wouldn't mind him staying that long.

[FurAd]

Setsuya is shocked. A week!

 

Does Akira knows how dangerous that is, to be around him, alone, for a week? It will take everything in Setsuya’s control to not find his brother in the middle of the night and bundles him off to a place where he can never leave again. Setsuya has been thinking about it enough that he knows things won’t go as well as in his dream here, out if real life.

 

He looks at Akira’s hopeful face, and shoves the worry far, far away. Instead, he allows warmth to bloom alive in his heart. His brother cares enough about him to stick around. Never, in his right mind, would he refuse.

 

Setsuya reaches out for Akira, forgoing a kiss he longed for, and pulls his brother into a tight embrace.

 

Murmuring the words into the fluffs of Akira’s hair, Setsuya says in full honestly, “What a good surprise. I’d love to have you over for a week.”

 

. . . And I hope you will stay with me forevermore.

[AkiraToshiro]

Akira had stood there shifting and biting his lip as he saw the shocked look on his brother's face.

 

Maybe it was a bad idea for him to stay a week. But then again he would've insists that he'd stay. Maybe it was the fact Akira wanted to talk to Setsuya about something important. Very important! But he soon snapped out of his thought when he felt his body being pulled into a tight embrace.

"What a good surprise. I'd love to have you over for a week." Setsuya said.

 

The feeling of the older males lips against his head, Akira cheeks warmed even so slightly. "Thank you for letting me stay." He whispered softly.

 

"And I've missed you Setsuya."

But I also love you too. Please don't let me go.

[FurAd]

That was ten minutes ago. Setsuya ushered Akira out of the porch and took him to his empty room, insisting to help carry the baggage just to spend a few more minutes together. Then, Setsuya reluctantly left him to unpack in privacy. He went towards the kitchen to serve them a welcoming feast, realizing just then that he has forgotten to eat both breakfast and lunch because he was waiting for Akira’s arrival so single-mindedly.

 

Setsuya is, without a doubt, pleased to see his brother again. But he can’t help the slight anxiety that slithers inside his stomach. It really has been a while since they see each other face to face. Akira might be occupied with settling in right now, and with dinner soon, but afterwards, there will be no more distraction that will keep them from talking. He hates to think of it, yet, there is a possibility that they have drifted apart.

 

Akira might consider him a stranger now, and the idea chills him to the bones.

 

Setsuya has to make sure that it doesn’t happen. He will show Akira that this is home—that this place, with Setsuya, is where he belongs.

[AkiraToshiro]

Standing in his bedroom for the first in years. Akira sighed softly in nostalgia.

 

Unpacking his clothes, he hummed softly. This week was going to be fun. He could finally spend some much need time with his brother. Being gone for so long made him feel like a stranger to his family most of time. But after sending that brief video to Setsuya a while back made him a feel better.

 

Hanging up the last one his clothes, he sat down on his bed just for a moment but then that moment turned into drowsiness. Drifting off into a lightly slumber, the feeling and thoughts soft strong arms and soft feather like kisses played through his sweet little mind.

 

Curled up half way on the covers, his lips were parted slightly with pink flushed cheeks. The shirt he wore was raised up lightly on his smooth,pale skin.

[FurAd]

Setsuya planned to call Akira for dinner, but when he knocks on the door, there isn’t an answer.

 

He tries the handle and finds it unlocked. Wondering what caused him to be ignored, he eases the door open and peeks in.

 

Setsuya quirks a small, fond smile at what he sees and steps into the room. He nudges aside the suitcase that sits empty in the middle of the floor and approaches the bed, intent to see if his brother should be woken up or if it’s better to let him rest for the night.

 

But Setsuya’s breaths catch when he’s finally close enough to get a good look at Akira. All thought of being considerate are suddenly drowned by the waves of desire that wreck through his whole being. Rising heat smolders inside his stomach, and he bites his lip to muffle the moan that almost slipped pass him, unwilling to let the sound be heard in the quiet.

 

Akira looks like an angel, lying so vulnerably on the white cover. Glimpse of bare skin hints into sight as he shifts. Strands of his hair falls across closed lids, brushing pair of soft lips that twitch at the contact to rest against his cheek.

 

Setsuya gives his mind a correction. Akira doesn’t look like an angel, because no angel ever looks as detectable as this.

 

He takes a second to collect himself, swallowing dry air, before reaching out to touch his brother on the shoulder.

 

“Akira,” he calls out softly. “Hey.”

 

But his brother doesn’t wake up . . . and Setsuya realizes that maybe he doesn’t want Akira to. His eyes glides over the sight presented in front of him as he calls out to check once more time.

 

Still, Akira remains asleep.

 

Bad idea as it might be, Setsuya cannot stop himself.

 

He leans down, pausing just a second to feel Akira’s warm breath mingles with his, before finally pressing their lips together.

[AkiraToshiro]

Pressure... A soft pressure was felt upon his lips. At first Akira thought it was in his blissful dream but no.. It actuality it was Setsuya.

 

A softly moan escaped his lips, as he shifted and pulled his dream Setsuya close to him not realizing he was doing the same to his real brother.

 

Smiling ever faintly, three words slipped passed lush pink lips.

 

"I love you, Setsuya."

[FurAd]

Setsuya’s heart almost stops, because he knows he heard that right.

 

It’s surprising enough for Akira to deepen the kiss in his sleep, but then he says the words Setsuya often imagined to hear.

 

When they were younger, they used to exchange I love you like exchanging ice-cream in summer. It wasn’t too strange then, because they are close as brothers. But as Setsuya’s love changes beyond what normal sibling should feel, his habitual confession also changes in their meaning. And every time Akira says ‘I love you’, Setsuya always thought that he can push one step further without having Akira running away from him.

 

He has never dare to try before.

 

But right now, his brother is here, lying beneath him in half-state of dreaming with flushed kisses and whispered confession.

 

Setsuya waits in the single inch of distance between them, waiting for Akira to wake and realize what happen.

 

He let one second passes, before throwing caution to the wind and diving back in.

 

‘I love you, too, Akira. But I love you this way.’

[AkiraToshiro]

Akira soon fully awaken and pulled out of the kiss.

 

"Se... Setsuya?" He whispered softly as his lips brushed against the older male's. "What was the kiss for?" He finally questioned as he looked deeply into Setsuya's eyes or at least tried to meet his gaze.

 

"I promise I'm not mad and I liked it. I just want to know why." He stated with a warm smile. Akira's hold on his brother tighten to keep Setsuya from fleeing away from him without answering his curiosity filled question.

[AkiraToshiro]

Akira soon fully awaken and pulled out of the kiss.

 

"Se... Setsuya?" He whispered softly as his lips brushed against the older male's. "What was the kiss for?" He finally questioned as he looked deeply into Setsuya's eyes or at least tried to meet his gaze.

 

"I promise I'm not mad and I liked it. I just want to know why." He stated with a warm smile. Akira's hold on his brother tighten to keep Setsuya from fleeing away from him without answering his curiosity filled question.

[FurAd]

Setsuya has expected to be found out, yet, he still risked it to get the kiss he has been yearning for. He draws away half-disappointed when Akira finally comes into consciousness, lingering just long enough to taste his brother’s question against his lips.

 

Setsuya feels a tug that prevents him from moving further. Akira probably thinks that he’s going to leave and act as if nothing happen. And it's a fair assumption—Setsuya might consider doing that earlier. But it will be just too cruel, now, especially when Akira acts so innocently understanding.

 

“I couldn’t wake you up,” Setsuya says, half-truth; then follows it with a more honest answer, “And you look so cute I couldn’t help myself.”

 

He hopes it is sufficient to ease Akira’s worry, because if he becomes more straight-forward, his brother will certainly run far, far away from him.

[AkiraToshiro]

Much to Akira's disappointment. That wasn't the answer he wanted.

 

"I see... Well um I should be letting go so we can eat dinner." He said softly as he released Setsuya and sat up. Getting up, he glanced over to his brother before heading to the bathroom to wash his face.

 

Once he was alone again, he bit his lip gentle to hold in a sad, heart breaking whimper.Maybe he had got his hopes up about his feeling being returned, or maybe he just misunderstood what Setsuya was saying. Either way, it kind of hurt not hearing his brother's true answer.

 

Letting out a soft, shaky sigh, Akira put on a sweet smile and left the bathroom and headed to the main family knowing the other would be there.

[FurAd]

Dinner is an awkward affair.

 

It’s strange, because Akira is still acting like normal, making small talk and smiling the way he always did over their videos exchange. But there are moments where their eyes meet each other, and Akira will purposely pull his gaze away, as if to look too long will hurt him. He probably doesn’t even do it consciously, which just makes Setsuya feels worse.

 

Moments ago, he thought that risking their comfortable, platonic, relationship would be worth it to get a little taste of more. But now, there is an invisible wall that lingers between them, and Setsuya hates it.

 

He refuses to let his brother pulls away further. If Akira is angry for what happened, Setsuya would like to know.

 

Soon, dinner is finished. This time, it’s Setsuya who reach out for Akira before his brother could leave.

 

“Akira, is there something you want to say to me?” he inquires. “No need to hold back. I can take a scolding or two.”

[AkiraToshiro]

"It's just that.." Akira spoke softly in a hesitant tone.

 

He shifted a bit uncomfortably as he stood in front of his brother. "Just that I said I loved you and you never responded back. Then I asked about the kiss all you said was that you couldn't wake me up.. Setsuya I just want an honest truth from you..." He replied still never meeting the other gaze.

 

Right now his feet and the tile of the kitchen floor were the most interesting thing to him.

 

"But answer me this. Do you love me Setsuya? More than our usual brotherly love.?" This simple question came out in a slight pleading manner as he eventually lifted his gaze to meet Setsuya.

 

His usual bright,loving eyes were now beginning to glaze over with unshed tears that were threatening to fall and slid down smooth, pale, slightly rosy cheeks.

 

'Please...Please just answer me truthfully. I'll still love regardlessly.'

[FurAd]

The world stalls for a moment at Akira’s confession—one Setsuya is sure was a confession, because his brother has the face of someone with a broken-heart, instead of a wary façade.

 

When Akira looks up, there are tears in his eyes. Setsuya snaps out of his daze, realizing that he shouldn’t keep quiet unless he wants his brother to get the wrong impression.

 

“Akira,” he breathes out, reaching forward to caress the tears off those eyes before they can fall, and declares his answer to each question, “When I saw you asleep, I kissed you. And I kissed you again when you said you love me. When you asked why, I told you I couldn’t resist. What do you think all of them means?”

 

A second of pause.

 

He finishes, “Yes, Akira. I love you. More than a brother, more than a lover, more than anything.”

[AkiraToshiro]

Akira's eyes widened slightly.

 

Fidgeting slightly he soon, wrapped his arms around Setsuya and buried his face into the middle of the male's chest. He sniffed ever so softly and sighed. "I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have jumped to such a conclusion.." He whispered softly.

[FurAd]

Setsuya curls his arm around the fragile form that’s hugging him. He caresses Akira’s hair and let the moment sinks in until comfort settles around the two of them.

 

“Stay with me, Akira,” then he says. “Tonight and tomorrow, another week until a hundred years more. Come back and live with me again.”

[AkiraToshiro]

Akira nodded and looked up at his brother.

 

"I want to stay with you forever but what about school. I haven't finished it yet." He replied while keeping himself close to Setsuya.

 

His heart was actually racing right now. He was happy to hear his brother expressed the same feelings as he did.

[FurAd]

Setsuya frowns, because he doesn’t expect Akira to mention school when they are in the middle of important conversation. But it’s inevitable, he supposed. He can’t stop his brother’s education unless he wants to stunt Akira’s future.

 

“Do you like it there?” he asks instead. “It’ll be better if we can find another school that’s close to home. Or I can find a tutor, if you’d prefer it.”

[AkiraToshiro]

"I love it there. I've made new friends and everything." He replied. "But I still want to be closer to you so a school closer to home doesn't sound that bad." He smiled softly.

 

Moving closer to the house didn't seem that bad. He could at least stay at home instead in the dorm. More time with Setsuya seemed to be even better.