Amander123 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Let me know what you think and which one your favorite is ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Patience" You made me think last night About everything you've said And then I started wondering If I may have been misled I thought about it long And maybe it is true Everything I read last night A note to me from you At this moment in my life I'm not sure where I wanna be I need some time to sit and think Can you wait so patiently? I feel a little scared And it's something I'll admit Even though the feeling is there I'm still afraid to commit Not matter what I say to you I want things to stay the same Because I can't help but to smile Whenever I hear your name ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Desolation" Desolate dreams of a faraway place pierce the depths of my weary spirit. Below the ominous and moonless night I sulk in the dark shadows of yesterday. On this shrouded road worth traveling a heavy heart can get you nowhere. But still I walk on through this bone-chilling mist in hopes of finding that fabled land. Longing for the warmth of my dreams these aching feet press on… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ruptured Heart" Blurry vision settled in And my hands began to shake A heavy chest and shallow breath With my heart about to ache I could not comprehend your words Or know what I should say They numbed my body and my mind Those words of metal decay Frantically I waited For you to claim a joke But you just stood there in silence And I began to choke Smothered by those heavy words And in desperate need of air I slowly began to suffocate For it was far too much to bare My face started to pale And my heart began to slow Never looking back at me Was your last and final blow 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aoi Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 So beautiful!!! I like your poems a lot! :msn_red_fox 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chacha Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I also like your poems! My favorite is "Ruptured Heart" .... so sad and beautiful! :msn_red_fox 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Very beautiful poems! You are really talented! My favorite was "Patience", but I also really really liked the last strophe of the poem "Ruptured Heart" "My face started to pale And my heart began to slow Never looking back at me Was your last and final blow" Very very cute! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Awww thank you everyone!!! They most recent one was "Ruptured Heart" which was written a few weeks ago. And "Patience" was written about 5 years ago lol. I'm glad you enjoy them though! I've never really shared my work before so I'm glad that I'm getting positive feedback 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chacha Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 You should write more cause you are talented! :5yoyo34: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Chacha, thank you! I actually have a notebook full of poems. Some are not as good as others and some are a little more light-hearted than "Ruptured Heart" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miro Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I also like both your poems!... but maybe a bit more "Ruptured Heart" :hamtaro-005 (8): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thank you Miro! Maybe I should post more of my darker poems up. Everyone seems to like those most:msn_red_fox 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yojichan Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Very good. Yeah, I like Ruptured Heart. The words are more thought provoking and relative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmiZea Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Your very good My favorite is "Patience", but I really like "Ruptured Heart" too. I would love to read more poems from you indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasuku Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Amazing!!...Very awesome. You're poems are like an expert's..XD Your poems reminds me of how our club president writes poems. Its simply Awesome!!!..Too Cool!!..Well, I guess its just natural for you since you're british. Shakespeare is british and is good with these kinds of stuff also!!.>XD>..Are You a Shakespeare fan also? Wow!..I admire You!..XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 @yojichan, Thank you Yeah "Ruptured Heart" is one of my favorites for that reason @EmiZea, Thanks very much! I will definitely post some more up when I get a chance. All my poems are all scattered around random notebooks here and there lol. @Kasuku, Thank you for all the compliments!! Though I'm not sure I'd go as far as expert lol. But actually I'm not british XD I'm actually American lol But I am definitely a Shakespeare fan!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLove Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Very very beautiful poems! My favorite was "Patience" Yeah, you should surely post more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 YLove thank you for your kind words and compliments I will definitely try to find time today to post some more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 PATIENCE . .what a heart-touching poem you made, i really really like this . .the emotions you want to express that binds behind those poems, reached and touched my heart :cuteonion57: (we have a few things in common) . .unluckily, i can't post mine cause it's written in "tagalog" (my language) . .hope i could read much from you, :hamtaro-005 (19): . you have my full support on your up-coming creations, whether it is a poem or sketches :leaf12: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Awww thank you so much cloudy-chan! I'm so glad that they have touched your heart and that you enjoy them! I will definitely be posting a few more up in a couple days Do you think that you could translate your poems into English? I would love to read them I know it probably won't be the same in English but I wouldn't mind still reading them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Awww thank you so much cloudy-chan! I'm so glad that they have touched your heart and that you enjoy them! I will definitely be posting a few more up in a couple days Do you think that you could translate your poems into English? I would love to read them I know it probably won't be the same in English but I wouldn't mind still reading them ..okay, i'll try, but once i get it back (i was not able to bring it when we transferred here in our new house) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Oh that's okay. Take you're time. There's no hurry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animegirl Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I like all 3 poems a lot... can't decide... :cuteonion53: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Thank you I am going to put a couple more up this weekend as well so maybe you can find a favorite in those lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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