Fallen Petals {For Gladis}

[MrSadisticNight]

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Flowers are the only thing that gives me joy at this point, all of the smiles you see from me are fake. I'm sick of having to act like I'm fine, having to say that I'm happy when I'm at a loss for words in the middle of a mental breakdown. People say that I'm alright or that I am faking it because I have no scars on my body. Well, some people have other ways of letting it out that is not self-harm; like gardening.

Or breaking people.

 

 

A smile warm as the sun and a personality as unique as a snowflake. That was how Tatsuya always described this one human that had caught his eye. He wanted that personality only to shine with him, and he wanted to be the only one to see that smile. He wants to protect that one human: that one boy from everyone that isn't him. The desire to break down that boy and build him back again was haunting him every step he took, every day, every second: He felt his own sanity slip away from him every moment he could not see that boy. He wants that boy. He needs that boy to belong to him.

 

Tatsuya attended a group for the mentally unstable. It was a safe spot for him. It made him feel like he had control over his own mind and that he wouldn't be judged for his issues. He almost felt happy when he was there. It was nice until a new person joined. He was fine when new people were added to the group but this one...This one he couldn't get out of his head. Skin as fragile a Tulip, hair as smooth as a flowers stalk, and eyes as sharp as a rose's thorn. He wanted this boy to be his; no matter the trials he must go through. Bringing a flower every day was a thought that he went through with. Unknowing what flowers the boy liked or if he liked them at all he brought a different one each meeting, all of them with the same meaning though: I love you.

 

 

After a few months of leaving a new flower each meeting, Tatsuya chose to stop leaving a flower every meeting. going off of the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Three weeks he chose to wait: three weeks he chose to wait to see that boy smile. Week four he finally chose to make a move. He chose to bring a small bouquet with Gladiolus', Delphinium's, and a singular Gardenia. After the meeting he waited until the boy started to leave, at that moment he chose to talk to the boy. With a small tap on the shoulder and a quick movement to hide the bouquet, he was looking down into the boy's eyes with his best smile on.

 

(Would you like to start or should I?)

[Gladis]

 

 

Names

 

FULL NAME

Larkin Henrik Jones

NAME MEANINGS

Larkin: Crowned with Laurel, Decendant of Loran

Henrik: Ruler of the house

Jones: Child of John

NICKNAMES

Lark, but he doesn't particularly like it

 

Biological

 

AGE

21

HIGHT

173 cm

EYE COLOUR

Brown

HAIR COLOUR

Brown

WEIGHT

70 kg

SPECIES

Human

 

Traits

 

PERSONALITY

Larkin generally tends to come off as very quiet and withdrawn, though he becomes surprisingly talkative when he allowed to delve into topics he likes or is interested in. Due to his limitations when it comes to things as simple as for example small talk, and his inate ability to overthink just about anything, most percieve him to be awkward and unapproachable. It is true that he tends to shy away from social interaction, but not because he doesn't want it. He simply doesn't know how to send the right signals, and his almost brutally honest nature probably doesn't help. Once people do get to know him, they often come to realize that he is a very kind and gentle individual. He is a person who wants to be loved, but sadly just wanting it is rarely enough. He has a fear of being abandoned, and tends to cling to those he has taken a liking to. Sometimes to the point where it becomes a bother. He loves to express himself via his art, and painting and drawing is his absolute favourite passtime.

MENTAL DISORDERS

Aspergers Syndrome

Borderline

Larkin had never particularly liked attending this kind of thing. He was somewhat of a lone wolf by nature, and found it hard to feel at ease when made to participate in any sort of social gathering. It was his mother who'd signed him up for it – surely with his best interest in mind, though misdirected nonetheless. Well, there wasn't too much to be done about it. He didn't want to hurt her feelings so he gathered the courage to go anyway. The first meeting wasn't as bad as he'd expected. Though he'd stayed silent throughout most of the session, only speaking when he was spoken to but otherwise keeping to the sidelines, most of the people seemed friendly enough. It was nice not to feel like the only "crazy" person in the room for once, though that certainly didn't make it easier to talk to anyone.

 

The following week he returned feeling just slightly more confident. He even boldly attempted to start a conversation once or twice, though was unable to keep them going wihout resorting to talking about one of his favourite subjects. It didn't matter. Just the fact that he'd tried was progress enough. At the end of the session one of the group members came up to him, much to his surprise giving him a flower. It was a handsome young man, only a few years older than Larkin himself. The boy couldn't help but feel slightly smitten by the gesture. Never before had anyone bothered giving him a flower, nevermind any other such sign of appreciation before. It caused a warm feeling he couldn't quite explain to spread in his chest. It made him happy.

 

Every week from then on he recieved a different flower. Before long he started looking forward to the sessions, wondering what kind of flower he might get next. Because he wished for them to last, Larkin started pressing the flowers – glueing them into a book he recieved from his mother. As the months passed him by, the pages slowly began to fill up, until suddenly one day... the flowers stopped coming. At first he felt confused, even sad. He wondered whether the boy had gotten tired of his awkward personality. Most did, sooner or later. Or perhaps he had had done something to upset him. He tried not to think too much about it, after all, it was possible he'd just forgotten. But when the same happened the following week, and again the week after that... Larkin began to worry. He wanted to ask, yet was afraid of the answer he might get, and so he never worked up the courage. Attending the group meetings almost became stressful, because he couldn't get the boy and his flowers out of his head. It was almost scary to realize how much he had come emotinally depend on recieving the flowers – how empty he felt without them.

 

Four weeks had passed since the last time Larkin was given a flower, and their weekly meeting had just come to an end. He had quickly gathered his things, just about ready to leave when he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. Spinning around, he found himself face to face with the very person who'd occupied his mind for the last few weeks, smiling more brightly than ever. He could feel his heart skip a beat, a mixture of hope and concern coursing through him. Fumbling for words, he tried to think of the right thing to say. He could feel his cheeks redden with embarassment, as he was finally able to push out the words.

 

"H-have I done something to offend you?"

 

It didn't make sense to assume he had. Why would be be smiling now if that was the case? Larkin was well aware of that fact, but he still felt confused. He lowered his gaze, shyly scuffing his feet as he tentatively continued.

 

"If so I apologize."

[MrSadisticNight]

"What? No!"

 

Tatsuya holds out his free hand, the situation making it tremble. Every single thought in his head that could ever persuade him to not give the bouquet and telling the boy how he feels. 'Why is he upset? Did I do something wrong? Can he not tell that I'm not going to say anything bad? Did I mess up again!?' His smile starts to twitch showing some of the cracks in his calm and cool facade. 'UGGHH! Idiot! You should have never tried to talk to him! Just go home already! He's just thinking you are a freak at this point!' His smile completely fails and becomes his the expression he normally has: sadness mixed with disdain.

 

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. See ya next week."

 

He moves his arms to his side, not even bothering to hide the colorful arrangement of flowers as he just walks out. He dropped the bouquet by the door looked down at the ground as he walked away towards the nearby alleyway. With every step he took he kicked small pebbles, sending tiny percentiles towards anyone's calves who happen to be in the general vicinity. Once he reached the wall he just stopped dead in his tracks like he was waiting for something.

 

"UGGHHH! Your an idiot! Why did you ever think you could do this! You were haveing a hard time just leaving the flowers for him, so do you think you could manage to give him flowers in person! You are an idiot!"

 

He punches the wall, over and over and over again: Until his knuckles bled and the anxiety went away.

 

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(sorry for the late response, I got busy)

[Gladis]

He'd definitely messed up. Of course he hadn't done anything to offend him. How could he? They'd barely even talked. He felt stupid for even thinking along those lines, especially since now it did seem like he'd upset him. He could literarily see the boys courage break down before him, in tact with the rapid transformation of his expression. It wasn't like he couldn't relate. He himself had been unable to work up the courage to talk to him up until now. Larkin knew he scary it was, even if he was sure he couldn't tell how exactly Tatsuya felt. They were, after all, not the same person.

 

"Wait don't-" he'd instinctively reached out towards the other, yet only just missed him as he stormed off, "go..."

 

Hanging his head he let out a heavy sigh. That was not how he'd been hoping their first interaction to go. He felt bad for scaring him off, and even more so when he noticed the boquet of flowers on the ground. Feeling his cheeks heat up and his heart skip another beat, he picked it up, gently hugging it to his chest. Glancing up he caught a glimpse of the young man's back as he disappeared into the alleyway.

 

Larkin didn't know where he managed to pull the courage from. Perhaps he just wasn't thinking. His body almost seemed to move on its own as he hurried after him. There was only one thing he knew for sure. If he left things off as they were, he'd surely keep beating himself up for it. He hadn't even thanked Tetsuya for all the flowers yet.

 

Once he'd finally caught up to him, he almost instantly regretted it. The boy was beating the wall in frustration, and Larkin had no idea how to deal with it. He was afraid he'd just make everything worse again. Yet now that he'd seen it, it wasn't like he could just leave, either.

 

"Ahhh, don't do that!" Holding his boquet in one hand, he gently took hold of of Tetsuya's wrist, wanting to get a better look at his hands. "Look, now you're bleeding.... uhm...I-I think I've got something." Setting down his rucksack, he opened it, pulling out a roll of bandages. Whatever the hell he was carrying around those in his bag, was better not questioned. With his tendency for bad luck, you could never be quite sure what to expect. "S-sorry! I didn't even ask if it's okay to touch you, b-but... uhm... may I?" He asked asked hesitantly, feeling his cheeks burn and his heart race. Why was his body reacting so strangely to this person in particular? He couldn't understand. It confused him.

 

(It's fine, don't worry about it. ^^)

[MrSadisticNight]

"Huh? I mean, yeah it's fine. Do what you like."

 

He looked at the person trying to help him and instantly regretted it. Larkin's flushed face utterly excited him: It enthralled him. It made him want to see that pretty little face do unspeakable things. For now he was thankful that he had another chance to charm the boy that is by his side at the moment. 'Okay be smart about this, you already ran from him once today, find something to... is that the bouquet I made him, I thought I threw that out." He just looked at the flowers for a good amount of till the words fell out of his mouth.

 

"Where did you get those? It's fine that you have them but I thought I threw them out."

 

Tatsuya's eyes widen realising what he just said. Full on panic hit him. His knees buckle beneath him, he starts hyperventilating, his entire body starts too shake, and he leans against the wall to keep from falling. He looks at his bloody hands remembering that Larkin wanted to bandage them up.

 

(I'm sorry that my replys are so short. They should get better soon)

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[Gladis]

Larkin had been so focused on Tetsuya's wounded hands, he didn't even notice that the young man was staring at the boquet. He was just about to put them down, wanting to have both hands free when he dressed the wounds, when Tetsuya suddenly asked about them. Blinking he allowed his gaze to drop down to the flowers in his hand.

 

"Oh, these?" His voice was soft when he spoke and a rare smile spread across his features. "Y-you just sort of left them at the door. They're so pretty, I thought i-it'd be a shame if someone stepped on them so I...uhm... I decided to take them home. You were intending to give them to me a-anyway, weren't you?" There it was again. That strange feeling he couldn't quite place. He knew that he was happy but nervous. He actually felt proud of himself, because in his mind he was dealing with the situation surprisingly well. Though he supposed it was a good thing they weren't both freaking out. The black haired youth looked like he was just about to have another breakdown.

 

"H-hey, it's okay. Take a deep breath." His voice was gentle as he spoke, "Or two... or three. If you need, sit down. You haven't done anything wrong so there's no need for you to panic, okay?" Larkin wasn't quite sure he was handling this right. He barely knew what to do in the situation of his own panic attacks, let alone anyone elses. Still, it wasn't like he could do just nothing, either. Tetsuya was clearly suffering and he wanted to help, in whatever way he could.

 

Carefully placing down the boquet by his side, he crouched down, starting to dress his wounds with outmost care. His slender fingers worked gently but efficently and it was clear that he was used to doing this kind of thing.

 

"See, that's better." He said softly, glancing up to meet Tetsuya's gaze only briefly as he put on a small yet reassuring smile.

 

(@MrSadisticNight Hey, it's fine. Your posts are good. ^^ Quality over quantity. I think I sometimes end up writing too much, to be honest. XD Your posts are meaningful, that's all that matters. -w-)

[MrSadisticNight]

Tatsuya looked down at his hand, bending each one of his fingers, never going over the stretching point of the bandages. After a while he finally stops messing with his hand and looks up, visibly in a better mental state. He looks deep into Larkin's eyes, a soft smile forming.

 

"I guess I was found out. It's too late to try to run away from it so I might as well grab the bull by the horns and be honest with you."

 

He looks down at his neatly dressed hands, remembering the soft feeling of the boys hands on his own. His shadow of a smile becomes a whole one at the thought that those hands could be his if he makes the right moves.

He swiftly grabs onto the younger boy's hands, pulling himself and the other closer to one another. He gazes into the boys brown eyes once more: his heart starts pounding, his eyes dilate, and he squeezes the much smaller hands that are in his current possession.

 

"I am the one who has been leaving flowers for you every meeting. I loved how they made you smile and I wanted to be the one who made you smile for the rest if your life, or even just for the time being. So, uh, yeah I made that for you as a way to show my feelings for you with an object but that failed, so I'm having to put this into words. I like you a lot. I have ever since I first saw you on your first day. I know I sound utterly mad as a hatter but would you go out with me?"

 

(yeah I guess your right but I still strive to find a happy middle ground that it seems you have found ^-^)

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[Gladis]

Larkin was stunned. In hindsight he supposed he should have seen it coming, but he didn't. In the same vain that he'd never been given flowers before, the young man also had never been confessed to. In fact, he supposed he'd never really thought about love or relationships before. At least not to any greater extent. They'd always seemed like distant concepts – nothing that truly pertained to him. As long as he could draw, he was content. And yet now here he was, his hands feeling warm in the others gentle grasp. For some reason his heart kept pounding at an unreasonable rate, and he once again found himself struggling to find the right words.

 

"Y-you want to go out with me?" It was not a question filled with anger or disdain, but rather curiousity. Why would anyone want to ask him out? And this man whom he'd barely even talked to especially. It rather puzzled him, though contrary to what he'd expected didn't weird him out. In fact, he was happy, though the prospect of entering a relationship was a bit scary. What did being someone's boyfriend actually entail? Someone who'd never been in one before could hardly know the answer. Thus it was only understandable that he hesitated.

 

Raising his cogniac gaze to look into those beautiful hazel eyes, he struggled to find the right words.

 

"Are you sure? M-my mother always tells me I'm somewhat of an odd duck. I d-don't think I could live up to your expectations." Now it was his own insecurities taking over. Realizing that it could be taken as him shooting him down, he quickly added. "I-it's not at all that I don't want to! It's just that you seem like a lovely person. Surely there are people other than myself who'd..." Who'd what? Be a better fit? Larkin wasn't quite sure where he was going with this, but he could feel himself slowly growing more and more anxious, afraid that he was messing this up. "Oh, I truly aren't very good with these kinds of things... I'm sorry. You even worked up the courage to ask me out..." he trailed off, taking a deep breath as he kept his gaze locked on their interlocked hands.

 

"I-I don't think I'd mind..." he finally said, keeping hos gaze fixed on their interlocked hands.

 

(@MrSadisticNight My posts won't always be this long, though. XD I think, anyway. We'll have to see. -w-)

[MrSadisticNight]

After the first words left Larkin's mouth his heart dropped. He thought with every fiber of his being that the boy was going to say no. 'Damn it! All of this for nothing! If he's just going to brush me off and say no, just say it already.' He tightens his grip to almost painful levels, his eyes start radiating rage, and his lip curls into a snarl before finally hearing that the smaller boy said yes. The joy that Tatsuya felt from those simple words was indescribable: He felt pure bliss his heart started to beat faster and his ears turn pink. He lifts up the smaller hands and kisses each ring finger with a little smirk on his face, eyes completely different than before: they were soft and sweet.

 

"Realy! I was worried that you were going to say no. I'm so happy. You don't need to worry about doing anything wrong; as long as I can be the one to make you smile and the only one who can see your smile, I'll be fine. I want to be the only one you trust, the only one smile at, I want to be the only one you ever see or love." His smirk starts to twitch as his fingernails dig into the soft flesh of the boy's hands and his face moves ever closer to the boys face. "Just kidding." He lets out a forced little laugh and backs his face away: His smile teetering on the edge of creepy and overly enthusiastic. "Please don't worry about what I said, I'm just really happy that someone is giving me a chance after I turn out not to just be a pretty face. But I do mean what I said, I want to be the only one in your life but I know that is unrealistic, but that won't stops me from dreaming." He finally lets go of the smaller boy and rubs the back of his neck: The blush from his ears spreading to his cheeks, turning them a pale pink.

 

He stands up and holds out his hand to Larkin to help him get up. "I want to take you somewhere. Don't worry nothing bad is going to happen. I just want to show you something that I think will make you smile. So how about it? Will you come with me, or do you want to wait another week before I ask you again?" He tries his best to keep his computer, small cracks showing the vulnerable person underneath. 'Come on say yes, I'll snap if I wait another week to make you mine. I need to see you when you're vulnerable. I need to make it so I am the only one who can make you happy!' His head and heart were yelling the exact same thing 'Make him yours, stop waiting!' But with great self-restraint, he keeps himself from doing anything irrational.

 

 

(Don't ever worry if you make shorter posts, sometimes there are times when you can't write a ton.)

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[Gladis]

Things were moving a little too fast for Larkin's taste. Tetsuya's rant concerned him, sending a shiver down his spine. There was something about what he said that didn't seem quite right, though maybe he just wasn't used to being the object of someone's affection. Perhaps it was perfectly normal for these kinds of thoughts and feelings to manifest when someone was in love. It wasn't like Larkin could tell. He didn't think he'd ever been in love. Besides, everything about Tetsuya's behavior was kind of peculiar. From his almost painful grasp of his hands to the gentle kisses on his fingers to the nails digging into his skin... it puzzled him, though he didn't pull back. Larkin's tolerance for pain had always been fairly high. Besides, he had said it was just a joke. Larkin had never been particularly good with those, so perhaps it had just gone over his head like usual. He was sure that any normal person would have laughed.

 

He closed his backpack, putting it back on and picking up the lovely boquet before he accepted Tetsuya's hand and allowed himself to be helped back on his feet. Noticing that crouching down had caused his robes to wrinkle, he straightened them out with his free hand. He blinked when he was asked if Tetsuya was allowed to take him somewhere, hesitating. Larkin wasn't completely sure he wanted to go. Surely his mother would be worried if he didn't come home on the same time as usual. Then again, he was a grown man and he believed she would be happy to hear that he had made a new friend. Besides, perhaps he wanted to show him the flowers. That thought was enough to convince him. Besides, there was something surprisingly endearing about that embarassed expression of Tetsuya's.

 

In response to the question, Larkin gave a slight nod of his head. "Okay." His reply was short and simple. Shyly, he reached out to gently grab hold of Tetusya's hand. It was alright to hold hands if they were a couple, right?

 

(That's true. ^^)

[MrSadisticNight]

All frustration that formed in his being faded away with the acceptance of his offer. Just as Tatsuya was about to say something when the smaller boy grabed onto his hand and stunned him into silence all the while everything in his head was screaming red alert. 'Oh my, he made a move. I did not have to do it myself. This is going swimmingly. I will have him as one of my flowers soon, I can feel it.' He tightens his grip and starts walking through the alleyway.

 

The further they go, the more vines start to appear on the walls, at one point they were completely covered with vines and closed purple blossoms. At the end of the path there was a small abandoned village that was in surprisingly good shape. Each one of the buildings looked like they were well taken care of and the vines growing on them were constantly being taken care of."Welcome to my home. Well the grounds near my home. If you see any people walking around, don't mind them. I rent out the houses to people who need an escape from life for however long they need. But yeah my home is this way." He points to a small looking cottage that had a weeping willow poking it's head above the roof. Once they finally reach the house the smell of flowers almost becomes overwhelming. He opens the door to reveal it's quaint insides.

 

"Welcome to my home. Whatever is mine is yours, or whatever they say. Now come, I must show you something." He pulls the boy harshly to the back, passing three doors on the way. He pushes the boy outside into a magnificent garden with almost every flower in existence.

 

()

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[Gladis]

Larkin couldn't help but wonder where in the world the young man was taking him. The path they were taken wasn't exactly conventional; penetrating deeper into allyway instead of heading down a normal street. Soon the city jungle started to give way something aching more towards an actual jungle, with thick green wines covering the walls; becoming more numerous with every step they took. It was facenating, if not just a bit unbelievable. It was hard to believe that such a place was so unknown and also had been allowed to prevail. Though it was hidden away, it wasn't exactly impossible to find. And yet, that was only the start of it.

 

Once the vines had grown so thick the walls could no longer be seen and the path had become more and more difficult to traverse, it suddenly opened up. He was met by the wonderous sight of small, hidden village that looked as though it had been taken straight out of a fairy tale filling up the space between the tall, high rise buildings that he could only barely make out the contours of in the distance. It was a truly strange yet facinating place, yet still nothing in comparison with what came next. Allowing himself to be pulled along, he tried to take in as much of the enviorment as possible. He was taken through a house – Tetsuya's house and to the backyard. And what a sight to behold it was.

 

Spreading out before them was a wide space – no, a large garden, displaying a myriad of flowers. Just a quick glance told him it contained every kind he knew and so many more he didn't know. It was breathtakingly beautiful; though admittedly a bit overwhelming. Almost like being transported into another world. Perhaps he had. He found himself wondering if he'd really agreed to date a human being, or if he was currently being spirited away by a fairy. Tetsuya's pretty face certainly fit the image, though the thought in and of itself was of course absurd.

 

Larkin knew instantly that he wanted to paint here. It was as though he was overcome by a sudden surge of inspiration. His eyes widened and a small, wonderous gasp escaped his lips.

 

"I's absolutely beautiful." He whispered, unable to withold the excitment from his voice, a soft smile beginning to spread across his features. "I want to paint it. I want to paint all of it." He gave Tetsuya's hand a gentle squeeze, though allowed his gaze to keep wandering across the beautiful garden, drinking it all in.

[MrSadisticNight]

"Now you know how I feel every moment I can see you: awestruck and at a loss for words."

 

Tatsuya keeps his grasp on the others hand as he slinks behind him. Wrapping his free arm around the boy: keeping him from running away or even breaking physical contact. He lowers his head down and places it down on Larkin's shoulder. "Be mine for the rest of time and my wonderland will become yours." He whispers, pushing his own chest against the smaller boys back; letting the other feel his heartbeat. "I adore you more than every flower in this garden and now that I have you in my grasp I'm not going to let you escape from me. Not now, not ever." He purrs into Larkin's ear. Nuzzling his face into the boy's neck; biting it every other heart beat.

 

The phrase la dolce vita wouldn't be the right words to describe the feelings inside of him, not even lust would be the right word: infatuaitedNo it's more of a desire to protect, to own, to make sure that no one can ever take him away. In summary, he was infatuated with Larkin. The mixture of emotions he felt could easily become lust. In his head, every action was justified in one way or another. whether it is love, parental intents, desire, or wanting to control his environment. "You see I'm not going to hurt you; after all, you are my precious doll. Please don't fight back, I'm just trying to protect you. If you don't, you may become like my daisies." He nods his heads to an abnormally large patch of daisies. "Don't you know the old phrase 'Pushing Daisies'?" He asks forcing Larkin near the flowers.

 

"Look at how pretty they are. You would be a nice addition to my flower collection, so it would be a shame if I had to feed you to my friends here."

 

Tatsuya starts to bite Larkin again but with actual strength unlike the little nibbles from before. Tighter, tighter, tighter, and tighter his grasp became: mumbling words like it's fine, or don't worry he does his best to keep the other calm in his grasp, or at least keep them from screaming bloody murder. Face as calm as ever he turns the boy around so that they are looking each other in the face.

 

"You get lovelier and lovelier every time I see you. Every different face a new colour of the same flower. You are utterly magnificent!"

 

(If this makes you feel uncomfortable I will be happy to change it)

 

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[Gladis]

(Nah, it's perfectly fine. ^^)

 

There was something about what Tatsuya was saying that unerved him. Something that didn't seem quite right. This notion only intensified as the other, without warning, wrapped his arms around him, pulling his back up against his chest. Larkin was far from used to this kind of intimate physical contact and he also wasn't sure he liked it. Tetsuya's words flustered but at the same time puzzled him. They barely knew each other. How could his feelings for him be so deep when they hadn't even been interacting for more than half an hour? Didn't that those kinds of feelings take years and years to fully develop? Larkin certainly was no expert on the subject but even he could tell Tetsuya's affection seemed a tad... misguided. The young man tried to tell him so.

 

"B-but.... you don't know me." It was true. How could he, when he'd never taken the time to get to know him properly? So didn't that mean his affection for him was purely physical? It was hard to tell. His mind was reeling with thoughts, as he was half terryfied, half embarssed by Tetsuya's actions and words. His heart was racing, a shiver traveling down his spine as he felt Tetsuya's teeth gently scrape against his neck. Larkin grabbed on to the other males arm, though whether it was to keep his hand there or pulling it away was hard to tell.

 

"I'm not a doll..." the youth protested weakly, clearly puzzled by the expression. What did he mean by that? That he was his plaything? There was something about that idea that didn't sit particularly well with the brown haired youth.

 

And then there was that part that sounded like a threat. Was it one, though? Larkin didn't know. Maybe he was misunderstanding the entire situation. It wouldn't have been the first time. Though perhaps it was precisely that insecurity that fully prevented him from fighting back. After all, maybe this was normal.

 

His gaze was locked on the patch of daies, his slender body quivering.

 

"P-please l-let me- ah!" A sharp gasp escaped his lips escaping him as he felt the others teeth dig into his neck. It didn't hurt too badly – Larkin had always had quite a high tolerance for pain, but it still surprised him. He could feel heat rise to his cheeks, his grip on Tetsuya's arm tightening. There was something surprisingly erotic about this entire situation, though he wasn't sure he could explain what exactly. And it certainly wasn't what he wanted to be thinking about right then. "Please let g-go o-of me.."

 

And he got what he asked for, more or less. Tetsuya turned him around, trying to hold his gaze. Larkin however was unable to hold it, quickly looking away. His cheeks retrained their red flush, his body still quivering slightly. Larkin was clearly shaken by what had just happened. He was nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt, trying to figure out how to explain to Tetsuya that he shouldn't do that again. At least not without warning him. But how did he go about that without coming off as rude? He didn't know and so the words failed him.

[MrSadisticNight]

The fact that Larkin never fought back, was always hesitant about saying anything, and the first few lines that the boy uttered to Tatsuya confirmed all of his suspicions about his new flower. His expression quickly changed from dead pan face to a smile; the same unnerving smile as before.

 

"Why aren't you screaming or crying out for help? Is it because you're scared to do so? No fear would have made you fight back more, yes it could have paralysed you but I doubt that is what's going on because you seem to have full control over your body. Could it be that you want this? That you want to be my perfect little flower? Or is it that you don't know if what you're feeling is normal or not because of your own minds inability to distinguish safe from dangerous, right from wrong, love from lust. I think it's both."

 

Letting one of the arms that was holding onto Larkin he quickly moves that arm to grab the chin of the boy, forcing the other to look Tatsuya in the face. His thoughts were completely clouded, only able to think of the moment at hand. He just stood there looking into the boys eyes when suddenly he pulls the boy back inside, passing the first two rooms and opening the final door to walk into a quaint bedroom. For some reason his rough demeanor was gone and replaced with one that is kind but with the same creepy atmosphere. He tosses the boy onto the bed and sits on the right side of it.

 

"Get comfy. We're going to chat. I'm not going to do anything I just find that it's Easter for someone to open up when you let them have a blanket. Want to ask about anything?"

[Gladis]

He was right, to some extent. Larkin was very much unable to distinguish his own feelings, but that also meant he couldn't tell whether he liked this or not. Part of him was definitely scared, even terrified. But then there was that other part of him. Had he been disgusted? Emberassed? Confused? Excited? Maybe all of them. He didn't know, but whatever it was it had flustered him. He certainly didn't like having his expectations betrayed or sudden changes. And... if what was happening right now didn't count into sudden changes, then what was it? Either way it made him feel uncomfortable. Everything was going so quickly. He could hardly follow.

 

And yet he tried his best to keep his composure. Even as his hand was pried away from Tatsuya's arm and his chin was grabbed, forcing him to gaze back into those greenish gray pools. He couldn't do it. His intsinct told him to look away and so he closed his eyes.

 

"I don't like to r-raise my voice. I shouldn't have to."

 

Or perhaps he did. After all, he kind of felt like he was being completely overheard when once again he was being dragged off, before getting more or less tossed onto the bed. He let out a soft groan, furrowing his brow as he glanced up at the other youth.

 

"There's no need for you to be so rough." He lectured, pouting slightly as he sat up cross-legged on the bed. Then he sighed, his expression softening somewhat. He hesitated, tilting his head slightly to the side as he tried to figure out what he wanted to ask. Well, he supposed he might as well get to know him better.

 

"Do you live here alone?" Was Larkin's first question, his eyes locking on the young man."

[MrSadisticNight]

"People don't do as told unless forced most of the time so I have learned that I need to be rough for people to listen or do anything."

 

Tatsuya flops down on the bed, his normally messy hair becoming a utter mess all over his face. He just leaves it there, in the middle of thinking about what he did. He covers the rest of his face with his hands from embarrassment of what he did, or was he just trying to tell himself that so the fact that he saw nothing wrong with what he did to Larkin not so bad.

 

"Yeah I live alone. Mom and dad live somewhere, don't know the exact spot. Probably in Europe somewhere. Don't know, don't care. As long as they are happy ,I'm happy."

 

He moves so his legs are no longer hanging over the bed, doing his best not to touch the younger boy. His completely calm demeanor could have fooled someone that nothing had just happened; that the two of them have been like this the entire time. When rational thought finally returned to him one thought refused to leave his mind. 'Why is he still here? Anyone with any rational thought would have run by now.' The thought started to bug him to the point of spitting out the words.

 

"Why are you still here? Not to be blunt or rude but normally people would have fought back?"

 

(Ughh, I have major writer's block so I may take a bit longer than normal

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)

[Gladis]

(That's fine. Take your time. ^^ Though please do tell me if there's anything I can do to help. If it's my posts I'd like to know. ; w ; Can only improve if I know what I'm doing wrong, after all. ^^')

 

"T-that's... that's not true," Larkin couldn't help but protest, "People do listen... sometimes." He paused. Did they though? It wasn't often that Larkin tried to make himself heard, but when he did he often found himself being overlooked or ignored. Perhaps it was his own withdrawn nature that was his biggest bane. He was simply unable to step up and assert himself in any form or way. Not that it mattered much. As long as he got to paint, he was happy. That was all that really held any true importance.

 

"With that kind of mindset nothing is ever going to change, though. If you want to make people listen to you, you've got to listen to them first, right? T-that's what I've been told, anyway." Once again he felt embarassed, allowing his gaze to drop down to his wrist, around which a braided red bracelet had been fastened. Absentmindely he started to fidget with it, looking back at Tatsuya with a guarded smile. "If everyone just always keeps shouting in an attempt to assert themselves, no one will truly end up being heard, don't you think?"

 

He listened to Tatsya's story in silence, supposing it made sense. The young man was after all a grown adult at this point, so it made sense that he lived on his own. Still, he couldn't help but feel like there was something sad about his story. It somehow sounded like he was so... lonely. Perhaps that was why he found the answer to the following question so quickly.

 

"I-I think it should be fairly evident by now but me and the term 'normal' in any form don't really work in combination." He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know. I guess I didn't really think you'd let me go, even if I tried to run. I'm pretty weak so fighting b-back probably wouldn't have been a good idea. B-besides..." he hesitated, but only briefly, "talking to you like this is... nice. You're the closest I've ever been to making a friend. It's a strange answer, isn't it?" He stared down at his lap. "I kind of like you the way you are right now. Even... if I do think your affection might be slightly misguided. I-I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, though. I'm not particularly good at this sort of thing but... but I'll definitely try my hardest. So that you can get to know me for whom I r-really am... not just who you think I think I am."

[MrSadisticNight]

( I just found a fuck ton of slugs and I am happy! ^*^ You don't have to do anything. It's just one of the moment......I like slugs

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)

 

"So what am I sposed to do! Stick with that smile that I have plastered on my face every meeting for every second of every day and lie by saying I'm okay, that I don't have the desire to break you apart and build you back up in the shape of a perfect little flower!"

Tatsuya sits up his filter completely broken around Larkin. Unlike every other person he has been in this situation with or ever been close to at all, he felt safe around the boy. He runs his fingers through his raven hair, finally fixing it. He falls back running his freshly fixed hair. He reaches out and softly runs his fingers down the bottom of Larkin's foot desiring to have the same physical connection he had before. He wanted to hold the younger man in his arms. Giving in slightly to that desire he wiggled his way up the bed so the could at least hold onto the others legs or hand. He reaches out for whatever body part near his hand.

 

"Well, your right that I wouldn't let you go but still, the point still stands. I do know that you aren't really stable or even have the ability to know some actions. But I really thought you knew more. I'm quite enthralled that you stayed. It makes the transition a little easier and faster. Besides, I already know who you are. You have BPD and Aspergers; your full name is Larkin Henrik Jones, you weigh 70 kg, you are 173 cm tall, you are 21 years old, and art is your favorite pass time. But it seems unfair that I know everything about my pet when you know almost nothing."

 

Tatsuya purrs those final words and crawls all the way up next to Larkin, wrapping one of his arms around the other, the two of them exchanging body heat. He tugs on the smaller male's dress shirt's collar lowering it slightly admiring the little marks he left.

 

"So cute. I like how easily your skin marks, it's cute. It's like a little reminder that you now belong to me. Larkin, you know that? I really like you and I want you to belong to me for the rest of time. I want to hold you and make you smile for the rest of my life. Even at your lows, I want to be there to get you through it. So if that means you want me to find out more about you or if you want to know more about me, I'm fine with that. So uh, My last name is Baranowski. My father is Russian, My mother is from Aisa somewhere, she was raised in Germany though. My favorite flower is the daisy or snapdragons. I started that garden when I was seven. My great, great grandparents owned this land before the city was made and I never sold it to the city so they just gave up, and I have had a total of three people that are kinda like you, as in I fell for them and wanted to keep them as a personal flower."

 

He alerts all of that out, looking deeply into Larkin's eyes. He grabs onto the bowtie around the boy's neck and gently pulls it off. finally realizing that the emotions he thought were love or admiration are quickly becoming more like lust by the moment. It didn't scare him though, it made him a little happier that he was able to understand his emotions a little better.

[Gladis]

(That's nice. ^^ I like slugs as long as they're not crawling around on our flowerbeds. They ruin them. x.x)

 

"A-ah... getting 'broken' doesn't sound very pleasant p-pleasant at all." Larkin had always been fairly straight forward about his feelings, whenever he could actually tell what they were. Though he didn't entierly understand in what sense he wanted to 'break' him, the word really didn't have any good conotations. It sounded terrifying at best, painful at worst. Yes, Larkin was fairly sure he didn't want to be 'broken' and 'reshaped'. He managed to get hurt in every day life enough as it was. Not that he was allowed to dwell on it for long. The feeling of Tatsuya's hand gently carassing the underside of his foot caused unwilling laughter to roll from his tongue, and he quickly tried to withdraw his leg. "S-stop, that tickles!"

 

Then he paused, that sinking feeling returning to his stomach. How did Tatsuya know all this about him? His diagnosis, full name and hobby were one thing, but his exact height and weight? It made him feel uneasy. His face became blank, though still not cold exactly.

 

"M-most of that information is superficial, it doesn't mean anything." Perhaps it was his way of trying to convince himself that it didn't truly matter, or perhaps he was trying to make a point. Larkin himself wasn't sure.

 

"Pet?" Just as he had with the term 'doll', he appeared perplexed at the notion. He wasn't a pet. Animals could be pets; he was human. "I-I'm not a-" his quiet protest was interupted by the feeling of Larkin's arm wrapped around him, and the words that followed. He didn't like how he was messing around with his clothes, causing his heart rate to increase. It made him nervous, uncomfortable. He tried to wriggle out of his grasp, though to little avail. At least... until Tatsuya pulled off his bowtie. His eyes widened as he leapt out of Tatsuya's arms, his hand shooting out to take it back. Hugging it to his chest, he scurried backwards, not really paying attention to where the bed ended. With a thud, he fell back first onto the floor.

 

Letting out a soft groan he got up, straightening out his clothes before refastening his beloved bowtie. He cleared his throat.

 

"It's nice that y-you want to make me happy b-but please let me keep my clothes on. And don't touch my bowtie again. Ever. I-it means a lot to me." There was a certain firmness to his voice, though as per usual, he found it difficult to hold Tatsuya's gaze. It was kind of strange. How he felt that had been a bigger invasion of his personal space than what the young man had done before. Larkin supposed his emotional attachment to the bowtie was bigger than what he had to his own body. Still, he didn't like the idea of exposing his body to anyone. A stranger no less. Even if they were supposedly dating.

[MrSadisticNight]

(I have found if you put some chopped up bell peppers around your garden they will eat those instead. )

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Tatsuya rushes to the side of the bed, nearly jumping off of it but stopping when he saw the boy was okay. Letting put a sigh of relief, he holds his hand out for Larkin to take. After a few seconds he just grabs the boy and pulls him back on the bed, instead of laying the boy down he places the other on one side of the bed and he sits on the opposite side with his hands in his lap doing his best to appear calm and composed when in reality he was trying not to repeat his actions from the garden earlier.

 

"Sorry I didn't know that the bow tie meant so much to you. I was just trying to get you comfortable."

 

He sits there patiently knowing that if he moves he will probably do something that would put Larkin in harm's way. He was wanting to keep the boy safe but at the same time, his heart wanted to hold the boy and make him let out the same gasp as before when Tatsuya bit Larkin's neck. He starts digging his fingers into his arms, that small action calming him down.

 

"You have never heard of the term pet and doll when it is applied to humans? It's like a normal romantic relationship but with some bonuses and restrictions. It involves a little bit of training. But that can come in time."

 

He leans back on the banister, ears turning pink for some reason; probably from the thought of the smaller boy as his personal doll. Quickly snapping out of the thought he lunges forward slightly and grabs onto the others hands: A genuinely sweet smile on his face. Holding onto the boy's hands he kissed the boy's cheek, nothing odd about it just a simple peck that you would give to a family member or a small child. Thoughts ran through his head, telling him that he should continue with the little kisses just so he could see how Larkin reacts. Would he react by pushing him away or return the kiss? Is he just going to blush or is he going to cover his face? The number of possibilities utterly enthralled Tatsuya.

 

"How about you tell me about your bowtie. It seems to be very important to you. I'll tell you about something important about me if you do. I want to know! It's quite flattering, it accentuates your neck quite nicely. It makes me want to bite your neck again, over and over. I want to leave marks all over your pale skin. Woops off topic. So story behind the bowtie."

 

He falls forward, his face landing right in front of the smaller boy's lap. Body position like one of a child in front of a radio in the 1930's.

[Gladis]

If you want someone to feel comfortable you don't keep tossing them around like some kind of ragdoll.

 

Larkin let out a heavy sigh, crossing his legs as he placed his hands on his knees. Whatever was he meant to do with this guy? One moment Tatsuya was acting all scary, the next he'd seem like a perfectly, or at least mostly reasonable young man. He didn't seem like a bad person per see, but some of the things he said definitely set off a few of the brown haired youths warning bells – even if his reaction to the entire thing was way too accepting. Surely any normal person would have run at this point, just like Tatsuya had said earlier. Then again... it wasn't as though Tatsuya intended to let him go in the first place. He'd even admitted to it. So trying to get along with him was probably the smartest thing he could do. Still... there were a few lines he would not let the other male cross. Touching his bowtie was one of them.

 

In response to Tatsuya's question, Larkin simply shook his head. Perhaps that wasn't too much of a surprise, as his attention span for anything that didn't really interest him was extremely limited. In that regard, he could seem surprisingly innocent at times, as anything those words may be used for, other than their literal meanings, certainly wasn't present in his area of expertise. On the other hand he could tell you all about color theory, various types of paper and which brand of charcoal gave the best results. That said, it would be wrong to assume that he wasn't at least a little bit curious about what Tatsuya meant. Tilting his head to the side, he locked his gaze on the black haired youth.

 

"What do you mean by 'training'?" He asked wearily, wondering if he really wanted to know. The way Tatsuya's face was flaring up made it seem like it was probably something dirty. The hugging and biting had been embarassing enough. Just thinking about it was enough to make his heart race. As if on cue, the other youth took hold of his hand, leaning over to gently kiss his cheek.

 

"Oh..." he reached up to touch the spot, clearly surprised, though at this point probably shouldn't have been. "Your lips are so soft..." That was probably the strangest reaction of his yet. Shouldn't he have been wearier about it? Perhaps it was the fact Tatsuya had actually listened when Larkin firmly told him 'no' was making him feel just a tad more comfortable, weird as that might sound.

 

He paused.

 

"You want to know about my bowtie?" There was a sliver of hesitation in his voice. Then he shrugged his shoulders, a small, melancholic tugging at the corners of his lips, absentmindedly playing with the red band around his wrist. "Oh, it's nothing too special, really, but it still means a lot to me. It used to be my fathers."

[MrSadisticNight]

"Like I said. That will come with time. We have to much common sense right now. Your so sweet and adorable, I can't wait till I can show you what it is."

 

Tatsuya slowly moves his left hand closer to Larkin's foot, doing his best to make sure that the boy never notices. once his hand finally reaches the dainty foot he pulls younger male under him: putting them in a situation where he was in control. Heart pounding and hazel eyes dilating. He gives a soft smile; trailing his fingertips down the cheek he kissed. He rubs the nape of the smaller boy's neck, doing his best to find the pressure point that is located there. Tatsuya had thoughts running through his mind, ones that told him to hold this boy, to enjoy his sweetness slowly and ones to devour him whole.

 

"Thank you for trusting me with that. You're starting to trust me a little more right? Don't try to hide your emotions from me, I can read you like a book: So believe me when I say this: I'm not going to kill you, but the more malleable you are, the less pain you're gonna feel. So how about you be a good boy and play nice."

 

He punctuates the final two words before his face lowers insanely close to Larkin's face so his lips are brushing against the others.

 

"Judging your reaction to a simple peck on the cheek you are a pure little flower. So let's see how much you know." He backs up and sits back down where he did a few units before. He leans back, completely relaxed, eyes focused on the boy. Body language oozing power and dominance. "What do you do first? You don't need to worry, I'm going to make sure you enjoy the learning process."

 

Tatsuya was loving every second of this. Pulling the boy back and forth, blurring the line between loving the boy and tormenting him. Every single mention the boy's face showed told him how to manipulate the boy until he becomes a puppet. It didn't matter to him anymore, every shred of self-restraint he had disappearing. He wants to watch that boy writhe underneath him; he wants to wrap the Larkin in rose vines, painting a magnificent picture of the boy in his own head.

 

"Get on with it! We don't have all night, after all, dear mummy will start worrying about you if you don't come home tonight. So what will you do? Do it yourself or make me do it for you?"

 

Tatsuya says, with a tone expressing his frustration with the speed of the smaller human across from him.

[Gladis]

Larkin let out a sharp cry of surprise when suddenly his foot was pulled out from under him, quickly followed by the older boys weight as he climed on top of the youth. He was trembling, a look of considerable fear registering on his face. Again, this was moving way too fast. He'd barely even gotten used to the idea of holding hands or a peck on the cheek, how in the world was he supposed to handle this? It wasn't like he didn't understand what Tatsuya was alluding to, either. Larkin may seem pure but he was neither dumb nor as innocent as he appeared. He knew exactly what Tatsuya wanted. And perhaps that was the worst part of it all. Because he knew he was being pressured into something he absolutely did not want to do.

 

Or didn't he?

 

If he didn't want it, why didn't he fight back now? Why did he allow Tatsuya to pin him down like this, if he didn't want it? Any normal person would have struggled at least a little bit. Was it fear? That was certainly part of it, but not all. He hadn't had a problem standing up for himself when it came to his bowtie. Did he just not care enough about his own body? No, that wasn't really the case, either. Larkin certainly cared.

 

It was exciting.

 

He was naturally curious. Only a little bit, but enough for him not to protest more ferociously. As much as the thought of sexual intercourse disgusted him, he couldn't help but wonder. What was it actually like to be physically intimate with another person? The feeling of their bodies were pressed together earlier came rushing back to him. His cheeks flushed, his eyes remaining locked on his opressor. Larkin could tell that he was starting to get impatient. Though his words did give him slight hope that he'd still be allowed to go home if he performed well. Shutting his eyes, he took a deep, calming breath.

 

What did Tatsuya even want from him? Larkin knew it was sex but beyond that he was lost. What did he mean by 'what do you do first?' He was confused and scared but still did his best to prevent himself from freaking out. He had no idea what to do. After a moment of hesitation, and once he'd gathered enough courage, he got on his knees, moving over to Tatsuya. He tentatively placed a trembling hand on the others leg, leaning up to... gently press his lips against the others. In that very moment, heat exploded in his chest, and he knew for a fact that he was blushing from nose to ear. The kiss was short and tender, nothing special really. Yet it was enough to make Larkin feel like butterflies were throwing a festival in his stomach.

 

"L-Like this?" His voice came out as little more than a hot whisper, his grib on Tatsuya's leg tightening as he leaned in for another kiss, this time with a bit more confidence.

[MrSadisticNight]

"Good, your not as ditzy as you look. That's a good start. Now tell me how you feel. Are you excited, nervous, disgusted? Do you feel your emotions going against the bit of common sense you have?"

 

Tatsuya delicately holds onto Larkin's chin, running his thumb down the frail boy's chin; pulling the two closer. He presses his lips on the others, the deep desire to see the same flushed face as before. He bites the boy's lower lip, forcing him to open up. His heart was racing, he thought with every cell in his body that the other male would need a bit more poking and prodding to get the boy to kiss him but the other did it of his own choice, well kinda; it was kinda pressured but the kid chose to take that path on his own so that's kinda a win. After that tangent Tatsuya pulls away, breathing heavily.

 

"I'm going to give you a choice. Stay with me and live in my wonderland until we become tired of each other. Or leave now and lose me. Make your choice, mummy will start worrying if you don't leave in the next five minutes."

 

Tatsuya pushes Larken away from him and stands up, his ears bright pink. The both of them were at the point of no return, if the boy said he was going to stay that would lead to bloodshed but a give and take relationship, kinda otherwise if Larkin chose to leave there would still be bloodshed, a dead body or five, and homes as well with bridges being burned. His heart pounded out of his chest waiting for a response. Every panic attack he has ever felt was never like this, he was in control of his emotions and he could easily pull himself out but he didn't want too. He wanted to drown in this feeling and let it completely engulf his body. Weather it was sadism or just him being a awfull person, he loved putting Larkin in the center of a life changing decision.