현애 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Ok here is how it goes... you guys tell a joke and somebody else replies to the joke if you catch my drift. If Tarzan were to have a car, what car would it be? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuJu Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I don't know... May be it is big enough for all the animals can stay there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 A jaguar? cuz I think those are in the jungle lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macys Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Haha Indeed a Jaguar! I kept thinking and didn't know what to answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 While we wait to see if jaguar is correct I have a joke How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (I enjoyed this joke because I use to watch DBZ a long time ago lol) One, but it takes him 10 episodes! lol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miro Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 @Amander123 Lol I also used to watch DBZ... but I didn't know the answer. I cheated and watched the answer in the spoiler. :hamtaro-005 (5): 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 @Miro DBZ was awesome back then lol. And I found that joke on another site and thought it was hilarious because it's so true! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLover Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Here's another joke: How come dinosaurs don't talk? Cause they're dead! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 @YLover lol!! I was thinking way too hard. I was thinking it would be something like "their throatisaurus" (their throat is sore) lol. Good one though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 @YLover lol That was a good one Like Amanda, I was thinking too hard lol ok, here's another one, an easier one though Why did the kids all eat their homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Okay I haven't looked at the spoiler yet but I am going to guess because they were hungry for knowledge? lol *checks spoiler* lol!!! I like yours better than mine lol. Okay I got another one Why did the fish get kicked out of school? Because he was caught with seaweed 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macys Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Haha So funny! I didn't guess.... I wanted to come up with another joke, but nothing comes to my mind :cuteonion53: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
현애 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 A couple get a divorce and are in negotiations for the custody of their children. The judge asks each of them to defend their reasoning for their rights to sole custody. The wife replies, 'the children are really mine, i carried them for nine months and spent hours in labor birthing them! He didn't really do anything!' The judge nods thoughtfully, recognizing the validity of her reasoning and asks for the husbands defense. The husband thinks for a minute and replies, 'Your honor...if you put a dollar into a coke vendor machine and a coke pops out. does that coke belong to you or the machine?'.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 :hamtaro-005 (5)::hamtaro-005 (5)::hamtaro-005 (5): @BLover That was a good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furuichi Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I don't have a joke in mind that requires to answer but I like this Yo mama joke.. Yo' Mama is so ugly when 'Bob the builder' saw your mom Bob the builder said.. "I can't fix that" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animegirl Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Hehe Funny! Here is another one, a bit long and not so funny A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justme Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Here is another joke, but this doesn't require an answer either... A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor. "You b*stard," the man says," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
현애 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Share Posted April 20, 2011 Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.''Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse shit onto my hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.' I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of 'broke' do you not understand?:5yoyo34::leaf5: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 @Justme lol! Wow that man is an idiot lol. @BLover lol It took me a second to realize the joke with the electricity but once I got it I laughed really hard lol. Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nena21 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Here it's another one... Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 This one's kind of long but I thought it was clever The Poet And The Scientist There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist and a poet, who were riding in the same compartment. They had never met before, so naturally, there wasn't much conversation between the two. The poet was minding his own business, looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain. The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he didn't know so he could try to figure them out. Finally, the scientist was so bored, that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game?" The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself. This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, YOU ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5." The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer. The scientist, who, by this time was going mad, tried a final time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50!" Now, the poet was not that smart academically, but he wasn't totally stupid. He readily accepted the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT distance between the Earth and the Moon?" The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn." The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?" The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. After about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill. The poet accepted it graciously, turning back to the window. "Wait!" the scientist shouted. "You can't do this to me! What's the answer??" The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put another $5 bill into his hand. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniteXfairy Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 ok a friend told me this joke if you like justin bieber please dont read it If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a 10 story building, 94% of americas teenage girls would be crying, 5% would be sitting in lawn chairs with a bowl of popcorn screaming "JUMP JUMP JUMP!". Or would you be like me, the 1% who would go up to him and push him and say "you were taking too long" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulreaper52 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 My friend told me this one when I was over at her house. It's really long though but here it goes. rabbit4 Who is Jack Schitt? Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and had: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against his parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Bass, a high school drop out who then became known as Dumb Schitt. However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah3161 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 i just heard it this one a husband was staring into his marriage contract his wife asked him: what are you looking at he Said: i am looking for a date of expiry of contract 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
현애 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. Waiter : That’s all right, Sir, he won’t drink much. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea cup? Waiter : I wouldn’t know, Sir, I’m a waiter,not a fortune teller xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter : Funny? But why aren’t you laughing? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get mummy then? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur. Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now