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Kenta

 

We stayed and watched the sun rise. Actually, the sun rose while we were making out. Ryuu got off the bike and was leaning against me while I sat on it. As usual I lost all track of what was going on around me, the only thing that existed was his lips on mine, the way his tongue stroked my mouth. The slight fuzz around his mouth where he hadn’t shaved tickled my lips and face. I finally sat back running the back of my hand over my tingling lips.

 

“You need to shave.”

 

He laughed, his head going back. The first rays of sunlight caught in the blond hair making it seem to glow. He looked absolutely stunning and something seemed to clench around my heart as I looked at him. It had scared me so fucking bad when I’d seen him collapse on the stage. I’d been ready to kill whoever was responsible.

 

His eyes were more silver than gray as he looked at me. A hand came up, his fingers caressing my jaw. His thumb ran along my bottom lip sending a shiver down my spine. “You don’t seem to have the same problem.”

 

I swatted his hand away. I could not shave for weeks and never have a single hair appear. Then again I was fully Japanese, he wasn’t. From what I knew my father had never been able to grow more than a few thin wisps of hair on his chin. “Don’t be a jerk.”

 

“Ha! That’s usually my line.” He leaned close again and kissed the tip of my nose. “Actually I wish I didn’t have to shave. It’s annoying.”

 

A hand slid from my hip to my thigh, the warmth sending a rush through me. It had been over two weeks since the last time we’d been together and I wondered if he was as anxious as I was. Sora had interrupted last time. Really needed to remember to lock the door next time. We’d been together almost two months and had only managed to find time to be together a few times. It was hella frustrating and coming from someone who’d went years without having sex that was saying a lot.

 

“Besides, I like how smooth you are, all over.” His lips brushed mine as he spoke and I couldn’t help but lean forward wanting more. Needing more. Just needing him. We finally broke apart to catch our breath. I looked over his shoulder at the sunrise. The giant reddish orange sun was making everything glow with an orange hue.

 

“Ryuu . . . it’s dawn, we should probably head home.”

 

“Oh, oh wow, yeah.”

 

Ryuu yelped softly and clung to me shivering as a sudden breeze kicked up off the ocean. It was November after all. Gotta expect it to get colder. Taking off my jacket I gave it to Ryuu. He started to protest and I gave him a hard look. I would have protection from the windshield and the heat from the engine to keep me warm, he wouldn’t have anything but my body heat and that wasn’t going to be enough. Couldn’t risk him getting sick. I wondered what they’d done with his concert outfit at the hospital. Maybe Reiko had got it. It was fucking stupid of them to send him home in just a t-shirt, jeans and his boots.

 

“Lets get home, I’m hungry.” He pulled his helmet back on and swung up behind me, his arms wrapping tightly around my middle. The soft smell of him and the leather surrounded me and I couldn’t help smiling.

 

 

Ryuu

 

I wondered why we hadn’t done this sooner. At first I’d been scared of getting on the bike, but the opportunity to be pressed up against that amazing body was too good to pass up. I wasn’t disappointed even if I was freezing. Not only was there the thrill of speeding through the streets, but I got to hold Kenta just as tightly as I wanted. The beach was a surprise and extremely romantic, though I don’t think he thought of it that way. I still loved it. It was these little moments with him that seemed to make my heart glow within my chest. Just when I thought I knew him he did something totally unexpected and sweet. I had really anticipated him being upset with me about what had happened at the concert but he seemed more worried than anything. It all seemed distant now and I really wished we’d been able to spend the rest of the day on that beach even if all we’d done was make out.

 

I smirked to myself as we headed back home. The early morning traffic was light and I casually slipped my hand down to the front of his jeans, palming him. I felt him stiffen and a hand grabbed my wrist pulling my arm back up around his waist. Oh . . . so that’s how it was going to be. Well I was not going to be deterred. Every chance I got I slipped my hand down, lightly stroking him through his jeans. By the third time he was getting harder, the bulge in his pants more pronounced. He shifted back, that amazingly tight ass moving against me, making me bite my lip. Oh this was too much fun. I could have got off just rubbing up against him. I would wait though, I had plans.

 

I was glad for the helmet as a laugh slipped free. He owed me, or at least I’d let him think that. I knew exactly what I wanted too. I already had it all planned out in my head. I just hoped he didn’t object. I wasn’t going to pressure him, but I knew he’d enjoy it once we got started. At least I knew we wouldn’t be interrupted today. Everyone else was going to be sleeping most of the day. We would too, but after.

I hugged the slim frame to me as we took a corner. We had been in Kobe for a little while and the traffic was getting heavier as morning commuters headed to work. I would never be sorry I was not one of them. I knew I was ill suited to office life. Maybe I was a bit pampered and selfish, but I was happy. I did work hard at my music and making my fans happy. Though after last night, I probably wouldn’t get as close to them as I had been. It made me sad to think that someone would do that to me and I didn’t understand why. I shook off the feeling. I was not going to think about that right now. I wanted to enjoy being with Kenta, not mope over stupid things.

 

The ride was over entirely too quickly. We pulled into the garage under the apartment building and Kenta found a secluded spot to park so that no one could see the two of us. He was always looking out for me, even in these little things. I got off the bike first, surprised at how hot the engine was. I guessed that the heat had been sucked away by the cold wind as we’d driven. I was extremely happy he’d given me his jacket to wear. Outside of his bike it was his one other prized possession and he’d just shared both with me. It made me feel like our relationship had reached a new level. I grabbed his wrist and started toward the elevator. I wanted him out of those clothes and naked on my bed. I wasn’t sure if it was an after affect from the sedative, but I was hyper and very horny.

 

We kissed all the way up to my floor. Calling it kissing might be a bit tame. There was a strange urgency to it, not something I expected from Kenta, but to feel him slowly starting to let go made me bolder. He was usually so reserved, so in control and I wanted to see him really, truly let go. To surrender completely to his emotions.

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We left a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom. The morning sun was streaming into the room, making the silk shimmer on the bed. Silk had nothing on his amazing skin. I wanted to caress and kiss every inch of him just to feel that softness against my lips. He sucked in a started breath as I lightly sucked on a nipple. I didn’t let go as I gently pushed him back onto the bed. He tried to twist away from me and I grabbed his hips holding him down. I switched to the other nipple as I slid a hand down between us. He had been hard for a while and I knew he had to be frustrated. Grabbing the shaft I slid my hand up and felt him shudder.

 

“F-fuck.” It was softly breathed into my ear and I smiled feeling his hands slide down my sides to grasp my hips for a moment before running along my back.

 

“Kenta . . .” I kept my voice low, nuzzling my face into his neck. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Mm.”

 

“Would you let me top?”

 

“You have.”

 

“No, not like that . . .”

 

His hands stilled and I felt him tense under me. He was silent for several long moments and I pulled back so I could look at him. His face was completely unreadable. “Kenta?”

 

“Is that what you want?”

 

I nodded, suddenly unsure. Naoki had never once switched. Ever. Just asking had lead to . . . unpleasant things. I knew Kenta had been through a bad experience in juvie, but this would be completely different. For one, I wasn’t going to force him to do anything. He had to want it. Really want it.

 

“Only if it’s alright with you.”

 

Something flickered deep in the dark eyes and he suddenly smiled at me, though there was a hint of trepidation in the look he gave me. “Well . . . it’s not fair of me to expect you to always be the one on bottom.”

 

“Are you sure? I know you said that in juvie-“

 

“Ryuu . . . I don’t mind.”

 

I smiled at him, unable to contain the sudden excitement bubbling up. How had I found such an amazing man? I slid back, but not before kissing him lightly. “I want you to tell me if anything hurts. It will be uncomfortable at first until you get used to it. If it hurts then I am doing something wrong.”

 

“Oh? Okay.” He sat up on his elbows to watch as I finished stripping. I was shaking. Part of me couldn’t believe he’d so readily agreed. I’d expected him to protest and probably cuss me out. Once again he’d surprised me.

 

Remembering something I went over and shut and locked the bedroom door. Turning back to him I grinned.

 

“Just in case.”

 

He laughed at that and nothing could have sounded sweeter in my ears. A true, genuine laugh from him was so rare and I would do anything to hear it.

 

“First things first. Go to the bathroom.”

 

“Eh?” He blinked at me. I put a hand on my hip, cocking my head to the side. It was so hard to control myself seeing him reclining naked on my bed, but I wasn’t going to rush this.

 

“Kenta, think for just a moment.”

 

He sat there for a second and then the cutest thing ever happened. He blushed, honest to god blushed. His cheeks turned pink as he sat up suddenly seeming self conscious. It made him look so vulnerable, something I’d never seen on him before. Where the hell was my camera?

 

“Oh . . . umm, yeah okay.”

 

I smothered a giggle behind my hand as he got up and headed into the bathroom. It gave me a chance to get the bed and other things ready. First I made sure to close the blinds so he would feel more comfortable. It dimmed the light in the room but there was still a bit of a glow, enough to clearly see by. The sheets were warm from the sunlight and felt heavenly, though nothing compared to his soft warm skin. Thinking about burying myself in that amazing body made my erection throb almost painfully. I was going to have to take this slow. I didn’t want to risk ruining his first time.

 

By the time he came out of the bathroom I had everything ready. He barely met my eyes as he walked over to the bed and I saw him look at the things I had set out. He didn’t say anything. I stood up and pulling him close kissed him with all the passion I was feeling. He responded instantly, his mouth opening. I couldn’t hold back the moan as his tongue stroked my lips. Shuddering I drew back. My voice was a bit husky with emotion as I gestured to the bed. “Lay down.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at me but did as I asked. He looked so gorgeous lying on the cream sheets, from the smooth skin and defined muscles to the deep ebony eyes and tousled hair, it was like sensory overload just looking at him. I barely knew where to look.

 

“You are so beautiful.”

 

He shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Ain’t the right word.”

 

“No, it’s perfect.” I crawled on to the bed to hover over him. “You are beautiful inside and out.”

 

I kissed him gently, not letting him protest my statement. I would prove to him someday that I was right.

 

 

Kenta

 

Part of me wondered why I’d agreed, but it wasn’t like I’d lied. It wasn’t fair of me to expect him to always be on the receiving end. I might be new to this type of relationship, but it just seemed right to return the favor . . . so to speak. Plus, he’d had a pretty fucking bad night and I wanted to do something to make it up to him. This seemed like a good way to do it. Besides, I was a bit curious as to how it felt. He seemed to enjoy it, so it couldn’t be bad. Right?

 

He was kissing down my chest and attacking my nipples again. Fuck! How could that turn me on so bad? Just when I thought he was going to leave them alone, his mouth moving down further, he started pinching them lightly. All the sensations combined where starting to make me squirm.

 

“Fuck! Ryuu! Stop teasing!”

 

“It’s not teasing, it’s called foreplay.” He was laughing at me. I gasped as warm fingers wrapped around me. “See it’s working, you’re already dripping.”

 

“Ha-oh . . .” I lost my train of thought as he started stroking me, his thumb rubbing across the tip. I barely realized what he was doing as he moved my legs. I blinked as he suddenly appeared over me, his hand still lazily stroking me.

 

“This might feel a little cold at first, but just try to relax, okay?”

 

I nodded a little confused and he smiled at me before leaning down to kiss me again. Too soon he was moving away. There was a pop of something being opened and I felt fingers slide along my balls. The cool slick feeling made them draw up a bit. His other hand kept slowly stroking me as the fingers slid back further. I suddenly realized I was starting to shake and forced myself to calm down. It was Ryuu, no one else. Rame was long gone. He couldn’t ever do anything to me again. I gasped softly as Ryuu’s finger slid over the entrance. That felt . . . odd. There was the sensation of pressure and then nothing. I opened my eyes, not sure when I’d shut them and raised my head to look at Ryuu. The look in his eyes was so soft I almost didn’t know what to think.

 

“Did that hurt?”

 

“What?”

 

“When I put my finger in?”

 

“It’s in? Holy shit!” I gasped as he wiggled it. I hadn’t even felt it go in. He pulled it back slightly and that was when I could really feel it. “That is so fucking weird.”

 

He laughed. “Well, it’s not so bad? Right?”

 

“No.” He slid it in and out several times until I was getting used to the feel.

“Okay I’m going to insert two now.”

I nodded slowly, watching him. The second one I definitely felt. I was starting to shake again, mostly from nerves. I was breathing hard by the time he had three in. I could tell he was being gentle and going slow, but it was a lot to get used to all the sudden. He had kept up his slow strokes on my cock, but it wasn’t enough to get me off and I was too distracted by what his fingers were doing.

“You are amazing Kenta, you know that.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper and he reached up to brush the hair back from my face. “I love you so much. If you are ready . . .”

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I wasn’t, not by any stretch of the imagination, but if I didn’t do this now I never would. “I am.”

 

He smiled and leaning down kissed me slow and deep as his weight settled over me. Hands grasped my hips pulling them up slightly and I resisted the urge to shove him away as I felt his cock slide between my cheeks. The pressure against my hole increased and kept increasing. I heard him murmur something about it being too tight but the pressure didn’t let up. He wasn’t going to hurt me. He wasn’t. He wasn’t. He was. Oh shit! Fuck! I was just getting ready to shove him off me when I felt the head suddenly slip inside the pain flaring then settled into a slight burning sensation.

 

“Ryuu!” Had that high pitched squeak just come out of me?

 

“Shhh, it’s alright. You are just so tight. I thought I had prepped you better than that. I’m sorry. It’ll get better.”

 

I was breathing in short little gasps trying to stay in control. I tensed, unable to stop myself as he started to move forward again. Was it supposed to feel like this? He’d said if it hurt he was doing something wrong and right now it fucking hurt.

 

“Kenta, you’ve got to relax or this will hurt.” He kissed my temple his hand rubbing along my side. “I am going as slow and gentle as I can.”

 

“I-I know.” I did know, but it didn’t stop me from tensing up as he pushed forward. The pain was intensifying again and then suddenly it was like something had been breached and he slid all the way in without any further resistance. The burning sensation was still there but now I also felt oddly filled.

 

“Shhh, shhh Kenta it’s okay, the worst is over. I’m sorry that hurt.” I blinked at him realizing that I’d been whining the whole time. Some fucking baby I was, he’d done this no problem and here I was crying and moaning like a bitch. I could not even begin to imagine how it would have felt to have been forced to do this. Even doing it willingly was difficult.

 

I gasped grabbing his arms as he pulled back. That did not feel right. Instead of sliding out it was a pulling sensation. He came back forward and the pressure eased but as soon as he started to move back it was there and worse. It felt like he was going to pull all my insides out.

 

“Ry-Ryuu.” I managed to open my eyes. He had his closed and this look of pure bliss on his face. I was torn between telling him I wanted to stop and letting him continue. Hopefully he got off soon because this was fucking uncomfortable.

 

After just a few shallow thrusts he started to move a bit faster and started hitting deeper. I was gasping with each thrust and had to let go of his arms to grab the sheets. My whole body was shaking. I’d never felt anything like this before. I’d been literally nearly beat to death and somehow this hurt worse, a different kind of pain. That pain I could handle, this was making me frantic, but I didn’t want to upset Ryuu by asking him to stop. I could endure it. I would endure it.

 

He grabbed my hips tilting them up more and I couldn’t stop the yell as he thrust even deeper, my legs flailing on either side of him. He took one of them and put it over his shoulder. The next thrust something changed, instead of just the pain, a sharp spike of pleasure shot through me making me gasp.

 

“Oh fuck . . .”

 

“That angle better?”

 

 

Ryuu

 

He nodded, not opening his eyes. I couldn’t believe he was still so tight after being prepped. I’d had a couple of virgin lovers in the past and neither of them had been this tight. I kept my thrusts slow letting him adjust more. He’d stopped that odd whimpering that had me wondering if I should stop. I couldn’t tell if it was in pain or pleasure and he wasn’t saying anything. If I was hurting him that bad surely he would tell me.

 

No . . . no he wouldn’t. I stilled and looked down at him. He was sweating, his lips trembling, chest heaving as he clutched the sheets in a death grip. It was not worth it. I was not going to hurt him anymore. I knew entirely too well what it felt like to have a lover who only cared for their own satisfaction. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I should never have asked him to do this.

 

He slowly opened his eyes and I was startled to see tears in them, my heart leaping into my throat. “Why’d you stop? It was just starting to feel good.”

 

“Are you sure . . . you seemed like you were in pain.”

 

“Fuck yeah, but its better now.”

 

“Kenta! Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

 

He glanced away and mumbled something I didn’t quite catch.

 

“What?” I leaned down and he gasped tensing.

 

“I-I said I didn’t want to ruin it. Fuck! Is it supposed to feel like that?”

“Like what? Is it hurting?” I searched his face, concerned that he was in pain.

 

“That one spot, when you hit it-“ He shivered, his muscles clenching down on me, painfully tight. It was worse than a cock ring. None I had got that tight. Spot? Oh, crap I’d totally forgotten to explain about that. I couldn’t help laughing softly and saw his lashes flutter as he opened his eyes again. I eased out and then back in hoping to hit just right for him. I must have because he gasped then moaned.

 

“Fuck. Do that again.”

 

So I did, repeatedly, until he was moaning and writhing under me. I’d never seen him like this, not even when he’d been on top had he been like this. I’d wondered if he’d been holding back and now I knew he had been. He’d wrapped those lithe legs around my waist and I could feel him tremble with each thrust. I had never been so turned on in my life. It wasn’t even the incredibly tight warmth surrounding my length, it was the knowledge that I was finally making Kenta lose control.

 

“Ahh-ahh, Ry-Ryuu.” He was clawing at the sheets almost like he was trying to get away and I knew he had to be close. I slowed down my thrusts and stopped stroking him, wanting to draw out his pleasure, and mine, as long as physically possible. It kind of helped that he was so tight. It was making the pressure build and build but I could tell that it wasn’t going to release soon. He was whimpering softly and I wondered if I could get him to yell like he had at first. He was always so quiet during our love making. The whining pants got louder with each slow thrust, his back arching. I’d never in my life seen anything so gorgeous. From the way dark hair splayed out around his head to the parted lips and flushed skin, his muscles were taunt, each line perfectly defined. Leaning down I captured those delectable lips, his moan vibrating through me.

 

I couldn’t go slowly anymore. My own need was becoming too insistent. My body seemed to act on its own, my thrusts getting harder and speeding up. I had to break the kiss to breathe, Kenta’s panting breaths hot on my neck. He started whining again, such a strange sound to hear from him. The soft cries got steadily louder with each thrust and I suddenly realized he was calling my name. His fingers were wrapped tight around my arms as his head tossed against the pillow. I couldn’t stop yet, I was so close. Reaching down I grabbed his erection giving it several quick strokes and he cried out his whole body convulsing. His legs tightened around me and I felt his muscles clench down just before he came with another loud yell. I gasped and with my own cry followed him over. Even through the blissful haze I could hear him whimpering, his body shuddering. He gave one last little whimper and was suddenly still his body going slack.

 

Breathing hard I looked down at him. I could still feel the slight flutter of his muscles around my softening erection. His eyes were closed and he looked completely relaxed. Leaning down I kissed him, but there was no response. Startled I pulled back. Was he upset with me?

 

I touched his face, but his eyes stayed closed and I realized his breathing was deep and even. Apparently he’d passed out. Laying my head against his I smiled feeling a bit overwhelmed. Now that was unexpected. I never would have imagined I’d have that much of an effect on him. In fact I didn’t remember any of my lovers ever getting to that point. I hadn’t myself either and I hoped he was alright. Easing off of him, I shuddered as I finally slipped free of that tight warmth. I was surprised when I looked down. He’d come so much. It was all over his chest and stomach and some on the sheets too. Smiling to myself I got up to go get a cloth to clean him up. He didn’t stir the whole time and I couldn’t help kissing him. Once we were both clean I slid into the bed next to him and pulled him close.

 

“I love you Arakaki Kenta.”

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Kenta

 

I woke slowly, blinking several times as I stared out at darkness. I felt disoriented and for a moment I didn’t recognize where I was. Ryuu’s bedroom, there was no mistaking the European style furniture. Ryuu was still wrapped around me, one leg and arm flung over me like usual. Turning my head I looked for the clock.

Seven pm. We’d been sleeping pretty much all day. Well after this morning and last night and yesterday, sleeping for ten hours straight felt pretty damn good. I turned my head to look at Ryuu and felt a rush of so many different emotions it was fucking scary.

 

I turned to look up at the ceiling feeling an odd pressure on my chest. Holy shit, I had actually let him fuck me and he had literally fucked me senseless. I’d never imagined I could go off that hard and for that long, I’d thought I was going to go fucking insane. The last thing I really remembered was the feeling of pleasure so intense it was almost painful and not being able to breathe. I gasped softly as my muscles clenched at the memory. That kind of hurt, but in an almost good way. I shook it off. Though the strange sensation of being empty was a bit disturbing, it was like I was super aware of the way my body felt now. Never had paid much attention before.

 

Shifting around onto my stomach I pulled the covers back up. Ryuu mumbled something and wrapped himself back around me. He was warm but it didn’t stop the odd chill running through me. I was still surprised at myself. I’d fought so hard, nearly killed people to avoid doing exactly what had happened this morning. Ryuu had me doing things I would never have dreamed of doing before I met him. What was it about Ryuu? Why could he make me feel like this, this urgent need to please him, to see him smile, to do anything to make sure he was happy with me? It wasn’t anything like my desire to please Jiro, I respected Jiro and wanted him to be proud of me, to find me useful. With Ryuu . . . I wanted him to love me, to want to be with me. I really did. Closing my eyes I tried to get a handle on the strange sensation working its way up my chest. I hadn’t felt like this since Ayame . . . no this was different. I’d loved my sister, I still did. Some days I missed her so much it was hard to think. Turning my head on the pillow I looked at Ryuu.

 

If anything ever happened to him . . . just the thought had my heart clenching painfully in my chest making breathing difficult. I couldn’t lose another person I loved. Reaching out I ran my fingers through the silky hair. I almost had to laugh at myself. Did people usually get this mushy after having sex? Maybe it was just that I’d let him do what he wanted, let him do the one thing that had scared me. I’d never trusted anyone the way I trusted Ryuu. That in itself was kinda scary.

 

I groaned hearing my phone starting ringing somewhere on the floor. It had been in my jeans pocket. Moving Ryuu off of me I sat up and winced as a jolt of pain shot up my spine. Oh . . . that didn’t feel so good and for a second I didn’t want to stand up. The phone was going to go to voicemail and I fucking hated checking my voicemail. Gritting my teeth I got to my feet, mildly surprised when there was no pain, and grabbed up my pants. Sitting back down, I fished the phone out of my pocket getting it answered just before the last ring.

 

“Kenta, hey it’s Hayate. I know it’s your day off but I could use your help tonight. We’ve got a problem down in that area where you were attacked.”

 

Well shit. I did not fucking need this today. Glancing down at Ryuu, I kept my voice low. “Why don’t you call the other guys? I was up all fucking night with Ryuu.”

 

“I bet you were. He doing alright?”

 

I glanced back at the sleeping figure. “Yeah, he’s fucking fine. You sure you need me?”

 

“Yeah, you are one of our best fighters, you know that. Besides you’ve got a rep kinda like Suke. Just having you there will help. It’s those Fudoka punks again. Are you not feeling good or something?”

 

I closed my eyes letting out a slow breath. “Nah, ‘m fine. Just . . . tired. Was on the bike for several hours last night.”

 

“Oh, bet you are sore. That thing’s not made for long rides.”

 

I almost snorted at that. Could take that a couple different ways. “Yeah, took Ryuu out for a bit so he could relax.”

 

“That was nice of you. I do that for Isao when he gets in one of his moods. Usually works, though sex helps too.”

 

I shivered, closing my eyes and took a careful breath. My voice was a bit strained and I wasn’t sure why I had a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. “Yeah. What time you need me?”

 

“Is now too soon?”

 

“Nah, I need a shower and I’ll head that way.”

 

“Thanks Kenta, see you in a bit.”

I hung up feeling a bit disoriented. After last night-er this morning it felt like things shouldn’t be so . . . normal. I needed time to figure out these weird feelings, but there wasn’t time and part of me just wanted to shove it all down and forget it. It was odd to think doing something like that could affect me so much, emotions I’d never felt before surfacing. Emotions I had no idea how to deal with. I turned to look at Ryuu but he was still asleep, the blond hair spread out on the pillow. I put a hand to my chest as the ache seemed to intensify. What was wrong with me? Leaning down I hesitated just a moment before kissing him softly. How could this man make me feel so vulnerable, so defenseless?

 

***

 

“There you are. I’d about given up on you.”

 

I nodded, tossing my helmet onto the low couch and sat down next to it. My legs felt oddly weak and sitting on something soft was fucking nice after the hard seat on my bike. My ass was sore for more than one reason.

 

“Sorry. Traffic was heavier than I thought.”

 

I’d actually spent too long in the shower, the traffic was an excuse. I glanced up to see Isao peering at me from over the rim of his glasses. I hated when he did that. It was like he knew I was lying and was waiting for me to fuck up. The ride over had been tough. My whole body was sore not just my ass. It had taken a lot more concentration than normal as I’d ridden through town to get to the office.

 

“We are about ready to leave.” Isao got up and walking over sat down next to me. “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.”

 

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine.”

 

“If you don’t feel up to this you should go on home.”

 

I shook my head not sure why Isao was pretending to be concerned. Then again if I wasn’t at my best then I’d be putting them both in danger.

 

“Well if you guys are ready, Korin just sent me a text. The Fudoka are meeting in one of the warehouses.”

 

I got up and bit my lip to keep from gasping out loud. The twinges of pain came at the oddest times and never when I expected it. “Let me get my stuff.”

 

I didn’t keep my knives at my place. I didn’t want them getting stolen. Going through the low entry past the set of desks where Isao and Jiro normally sat, I headed for the case where they were stored. I didn’t have a collection like Daisuike, but my set was nice. I glanced up as Isao came to stand beside me, his eyes running over the various blades.

 

“You are limping.”

 

I jerked my head up to look at him. I was? His eyes narrowed slightly and he turned to face me. Taking his glasses off, he leaned against the case.

 

“Are you still having problems from what happened?”

 

I shifted willing myself to move normally and reaching out picked up my favorite switch blade. “No.”

 

“Then what’s wrong? You didn’t hurt yourself carrying Ryuu last night did you?”

 

Maybe that would be a good excuse. I shrugged not looking at him. “He’s not exactly light.”

 

“Kenta . . .” I glanced back up startled when he put a hand on my arm giving it a soft squeeze. “Don’t be straining yourself, okay. I know it freaked you out, what happened to Ryuu. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

 

He gave my arm another gentle squeeze and walked off. I stared after him honestly shocked. Isao had just acted like a fucking person for once. He’d never been that nice to me. Ever. It made me wonder what was going on. Shrugging it off, I picked up two more knives and followed him out.

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Ryuu

 

I woke slowly from the most wonderful dream only to realize I had the real thing sleeping right beside me. No I didn’t. I sat up looking around the room. Where was Kenta? I didn’t hear the shower going, but I did smell food cooking. I grinned. Kenta was always so considerate. Though I would rather he had stayed in bed with me. Maybe he was a little freaked out after this morning. I shivered running a hand through my hair as I thought of that incredible body and the way he’d sounded. I wanted to do that again and very, very soon. I just hoped he wasn’t too sore.

 

Walking into the bathroom I started the shower. A new towel was lying on the counter. Kenta must have taken a shower when he’d got up. I wished he would have at least woke me up. I was a little anxious as to how he was doing, not just physically, but . . . I sighed. He was probably fine. He was very resilient, unlike me. Nothing ever really seemed to faze him. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I did my hair up in a braid knowing he liked that look on me and headed into the kitchen unable to stop grinning.

 

“Hey Kenta what-Sora?” I looked around but it there was no Kenta, I felt the smile slipping, a cold uneasy feeling starting to build in my stomach. I looked at Sora then at Hasu who was busy frying shrimp. “Hey, why didn’t you guys wake me up?”

 

“Well after last night we though you probably needed your rest. Hasu wanted to come cook you dinner. Was Kenta here?” Sora lowered his voice to ask the question and the coldness seemed to spread in my middle.

 

“He’s not now?”

 

Sora shook his head and the coldness solidified in my chest my heart suddenly hurting. Why would he leave? Had I hurt him that bad? Was he mad at me? For him to just leave after . . . he had to be mad at me.

 

“Ryuu! What happened? Did you guys have a fight?”

 

I blinked a few times realizing more must have shown on my face than I realized. I turned away heading for the recording studio. I needed to think and more importantly I needed to call Kenta. Sora’s hand on my arm stopped me in the hall.

 

“Ryuu . . . what is wrong?”

 

“I think . . . I think I messed up really bad last night.”

 

“Well drinking that-“

 

“No, after that.” I shook my head hard enough it made me dizzy for a moment. “I-I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to call him.”

 

“Yeah sure. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

 

I quickly hit the speed dial for Kenta’s number. After four rings it went to voicemail. I bit my lip trying to will away the sharp ache that blossomed in my chest. I closed the phone and leaned against the wall behind me. Opening it again I sent a text message.

 

Can you call me please?

 

Shutting the phone again I held it to my chest my head dropping down. I closed my eyes taking a tremulous breath. How could I have been so stupid? Was I really that selfish and self centered? Angrily I wiped at the tear rolling down my cheek. I jumped nearly dropping the phone as it rang.

 

“What’s goin’ on Ryuu?”

 

“Kenta! Where are you?”

 

“Are you crying?”

 

“N-no.”

 

“What the fuck are you crying about?” He sounded slightly out of breath and there were some odd sounds in the background, but I was too worried about whether he was upset with me or not to really take notice.

 

“Nothing . . . you were gone when I woke up and I thought-“

 

“Hey, can we talk later. I gotta go. Some stupid Fudoka shit head is trying to stab Isao.”

 

I hung up staring at the phone. He’d called me in the middle of a fight? I wasn’t sure if I was happy or appalled. Sinking down to the floor a soft laugh escaped me. Something seemed to unclench in my chest. It didn’t seem like he was upset with me. He wouldn’t have called me back otherwise. If he was with Hayate and Isao fighting the Fudoka, that meant he’d been called to work. It was almost, but not quite a relief. Now I was scared he’d get hurt again. Covering my face with a hand I couldn’t help laughing both at myself and at the situation. After a little bit I got up and went back into the kitchen to see if there was any food left. I would just have to wait to talk to Kenta when he got home.

 

Sora and Hasu were in the living room playing a video game, the tray of food sitting on the coffee table within easy reach.

 

“Why did you guys come over anyway?”

 

Sora looked over and smiled. “Well I wasn’t sure if Kenta was staying and we didn’t want you to be alone . . .”

 

“Oh.” I looked down. For once I actually felt like being alone. The concert seemed like it had been days ago not just last night. I heard Sora say something to Hasu, but I was too lost in my own thoughts. I gasped startled as my arm was grabbed and I was hauled out of the room.

 

Sora shoved me down in the office chair and kicked the door shut behind him. “Ryuu, what is going on? Is Kenta mad at you about what happened at the concert? Did you guys have a fight?”

 

“N-no . . . not exactly no.” I fiddled with my cell phone not looking at him.

 

“Ryuu, I’m not trying to pry into your guy’s relationship but it worries me seeing you depressed.”

“I’m not depressed. I just . . . I think I went too far last night?”

 

“Went too far? With what?”

 

I glanced up at Sora for a moment, meeting the soft green eyes. I looked back down and leaning forward set my phone on the desk.

 

“Sora . . . if Hasu said yes would you do it?”

 

“What? What kind of-“ He stopped and I heard the rustle of cloth as he knelt beside my chair. “Ryuu . . . what happened?”

 

“I think I freaked him out Sora. I’m scared to death he’s upset with me.”

 

“This isn’t about the concert is it?”

 

I shook my head, my braid flipping around my shoulders. “Last night was amazing and so romantic. He took me to this secluded beach once I was released from the hospital. I loved riding his motorcycle with him. It was just so nice to be with him, just the two of us. Even if he seems harsh and gruff he’s actually really sweet and caring and sensitive. I love him so much Sora. That’s why I’m scared I messed up when we got home.”

 

Sora was silent for long enough that I finally glanced over at him. He was looking at me with this unreadable expression.

 

“Ryuu,” His voice was soft, but there was a hint of irritation in it. “You have to stop being so hard on yourself. If you did ‘mess up’ then just apologize and move on. Moping about it doesn’t help anything and you know how frustrated he gets when you pout about stuff.”

 

“Yeah but . . . this wasn’t just a small thing . . . I think-I think I might have hurt him.”

 

“Hurt him? How would you have-“

 

I turned to look at Sora feeling the pain welling up. Sora’s eyes widened his mouth falling open. “Ryuu you . . . he let you . . .”

 

I nodded my eyes dropping down to my lap. If only Kenta had still been in the bed when I’d woke up, I could have made sure he was alright. It had been one of the most intense love making sessions I’d ever had and I had no idea how he felt about it or if he’d really enjoyed it.

 

“Ryuu I doubt you hurt him, you are too gentle.” Sora put a hand on my knee. “I know you too well for that. I know you would have made it as good as humanly possible for him. Just like I would for Hasu . . . if I ever got the chance.”

 

I couldn’t help but smile at the wry sounding statement. Reaching out I patted Sora’s head. Sora could always make me feel better. “Don’t worry Sora. If I was able to finally get my feelings through to Kenta, I know Hasu will realize yours. Just have to give it time. Maybe if you weren’t so ugly.”

 

“Ugly? Who are you kidding? You’re the ugly one of the group!”

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Kenta

 

I slammed the man to the ground and stepped on his chest. Leaning down I flipped out my knife and laid it against his neck.

 

“What did you say, fucker?”

 

“Nuthin! Nuthin! I’m sorry. We won’t come on your territory again!”

 

Standing back up I tried not to wince as I let him up. I kicked him again just because I was irritated that I’d had to deal with this shit when I hurt all over. He yelped and scrambled away on all fours before bolting for the bay door of the warehouse. The other men were either unconscious or writhing on the ground their soft moans annoying me.

 

“I’m going home if we are done here.”

 

“We are. Get some rest.” Hayate was dragging the unconscious men out of the middle of the floor while Isao was going around and kicking silent the others. I shuddered slightly and turned away at the sound of bone crunching under his boot. He might look like a pansy ass pencil pusher but he was a wicked mean fighter and nearly as ruthless as Daisuike.

 

I’d just got on my bike when my phone rang. I dug it out of my pocket wondering who would be calling me at three in the morning. It wasn’t Ryuu. Just thinking of him sent a little shiver down my spine.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Arakaki?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Hey, it’s Ishimura. You still doing that bodyguard thing for that band?”

 

I had to think for a bit as to who this was. He was one of the police officers that sometimes gave Jiro information. Why was he calling me and not Jiro? “Yeah, what’s going on?”

 

“Listen, about what happened at that concert last night. I finished interrogating that girl and apparently someone gave her the water and the pills and paid her to try to get it to Ito.”

 

“What?” I suddenly felt breathless. This wasn’t just a case of a fan being stupid. Something else was going on.

 

“Yeah, she couldn’t give me a description of the guy though she was sure it was a guy. He paid her cash and had the water and pills in a public locker. Anyway I thought you might need to know.”

 

“Yeah . . . thanks.” I hung up feeling numb. Someone was targeting Ryuu? Whoever they were they were as good as dead. No one fucked with my band.

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Kenta

 

“I thought you were going home?” Isao and Hayate walked in the door of the office dragging a scared looking business man behind them.

 

I shrugged and getting up from the couch got the metal chair out for them. It was the one we used a lot and it looked like it. The paint was worn off in places where the rope would rub against it. “Didn’t feel like driving all the way over there.” Truth was I was too sore to sit on the bike anymore. That and I’d been doing some research. Or trying to. Setting the chair down off to the side out of the way, I went and got the rope. There was a clatter of metal against wood and the man started babbling.

 

“I didn’t mean it! Please let me go! Please I have a wife and chi-“

 

“Yeah the same one you were cheating on?” Isao seemed a bit more pissed than usual, but then again he was sporting several bruises and a gash down his arm. “I told you, you don’t touch those girls. You want to touch you gotta pay more.”

 

“I’ll pay! I’ll pay double! Anything, just don’t hurt me.”

 

Kneeling behind the chair, I clenched my jaw as overused muscles protested. Wrenching his arms behind the chair I quickly tied them. Hayate nodded to me and waved Isao off before stepping in front of the man.

 

“Next time you go to the club you won’t try to cop a feel without paying will you?”

“Hey Iesada.” I called softly over the man’s pleading to get his attention. I motioned him over. “Common, I’ll get you patched up.”

 

He glanced back at Hayate and nodded. “Sounds good. Thanks.”

 

“Sure.” Plus it would give me a chance to get some information from him. There was the smack of a fist against flesh and a yelp as we headed toward the back rooms.

 

“That stupid old man. That was the fifth time he’s tried that. Hayate and I decided it was time to take more drastic measures.” Isao sat down at one of the tables, running a hand through his short hair before taking his glasses off and setting them on the table. I headed for the shelf where the medical supplies were kept. Isao, surprisingly kept talking. “Sometimes I really don’t understand people. They have to know they are going to get caught and that it’s going to mean punishment. Are they really just that stupid or is it something else?”

 

Setting the kit on the table I looked at him for a moment. With his glasses off he looked surprisingly soft, more approachable and not so scary. I thought for a moment about what he’d said as I got out the alcohol wipes.

 

“I think some people don’t think they will get caught, that or they think it’s that they shouldn’t have to pay. Hold out your arm.” I’d helped clean up so many people after fights it was like second nature anymore. I couldn’t do stitches as neat as Akira, but I could do them. Isao didn’t even flinch as I gently started to clean dried blood from the wound.

 

“I guess so. Some people think they are entitled.”

 

I glanced up at him but he was watching what I was doing. It was so weird to be talking to him like this. Normally he only talked to me to chew my ass out or call me stupid. “Hey, I gotta question.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Setting the bloodied cloth to the side I looked at it for a moment. “If I needed to look up the list of contacts where would I look?”

 

“You better not have been going through my files Arakaki. I had to spend a month redoing everything after the last time you helped. Can’t you read kanji?”

 

“Umm . . . not very well.” I picked up another wipe suddenly feeling like this might have been a bad idea.

 

“What do you need the list of contacts for?”

 

“There is something I was wanting to check out.”

 

He grunted and hissed softly as I wiped the cloth down his arm. “I’ll get it for you. Anyone in particular you’re looking for?”

 

“Not sure yet. Need people who got influence higher up.”

 

“Politically?”

 

I shook my head. “No, entertainment industry.”

 

“This have something to do with the band?”

 

“It might.” I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to tell him what Ishimura had told me. The band was my responsibility, not the clan’s. I would keep them safe. That and there was no fucking way I would risk Ryuu finding out they were being targeted. He would have a complete fucking meltdown. “Just want to keep them safe.”

 

“Yeah, tough job with Ito, he seems like he’d be a handful.”

 

“He’s not that bad, just gotta know how to handle him.”

 

Isao chuckled. “Which I bet you do quite well.”

 

I gave him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Oh come on, everyone knows you guys are a couple. It’s totally fucking obvious.” He suddenly leaned forward and smacked me on the ass.

 

“Oi! What the fuck!” I jumped twisting around and banging my hip into the table. That had fucking hurt. I slowly lowered my fist glaring at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

He threw his head back and laughed. “I was right! Oh, Hayate is going to shit his pants. I won the bet!”

 

“You ain’t right about nuthin’!” I growled as I slammed the roll of gauze onto the table. Try to fucking help someone and this is what I get. Fucking teased.

 

“Oh I am right. You haven’t sat down this whole time and there is a chair right behind you. Besides that you are still limping. Hayate is never going to believe this. He swore you’d never let anyone top.”

 

I stared at Isao. What. The. Fuck. They talked about my sex life? “Shut the fuck up already.”

 

He was still laughing as I wrapped his arm. “I never took Ryuu for the aggressive type.”

 

I narrowed my eyes and yanked the knot tight enough that he yelped. “Hey, take it easy, Kenta.”

 

“You need to shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you.”

 

He snickered. “Right. You still can’t beat me in a fight.”

 

“First time for everything.”

 

“Got that right. But seriously Kenta, go home and soak in the tub. You shouldn’t be this sore.”

 

I tossed the remaining gauze into the kit unsure what to do about that odd fluttering sensation in my gut. It was back again for some reason. “It’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

 

Isao got up, putting his glasses back on and I realized I’d just admitted it. Fuck was I ever stupid.

 

“It’ll get better, next time will be easier. Just take things slow and if it hurts say something. It took Hayate and I a while to get adjusted. After our first time I never wanted him to touch me again. I was walking bowlegged for a week.” He patted my shoulder looking down at me a soft smile on his lips. “I think you are a perfect match for Ryuu, Kenta. You guys make a great couple. I’ll go get that contact list for you. Thanks for bandaging my arm.”

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Ryuu

 

I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me.

 

Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch.

 

Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again.

 

Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it.

Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . .

 

It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now.

 

I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else.

 

Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking.

 

“No! Rame! No!”

 

I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding.

 

“What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

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Kenta

 

I was going to kill him. What the fuck was he doing? Having sex with me while I was sleeping? What the hell? I wanted to move, but I felt pinned, my ass throbbing.

Fuck.

 

“Ryuu . . . get off me.”

 

He didn’t say anything and didn’t move either. I raised my head again looking at him over my shoulder. He had his head down, his hair covering his face.

 

“I . . . I’m sorry. I thought . . . I just . . .”

 

Fuck it all to hell. He was crying. “Ryuu . . . you need to wake me up if you want to do this.”

 

“I-I know, I’m sorry. I’ll get off of you now.” I gasped tensing as he started to move and heard him gasp. “Ke-Kenta don’t do that. I can’t move.”

 

“Can’t move? Why?” I managed through gritted teeth. It felt entirely too large to have actually fit in the first place and right now I wanted it out. The stinging was intense as was the pressure.

 

“You . . . you’re tensing up too much . . . you’re hurting me.”

 

“Wha . . .” I was hurting him? “How am I hurting you?”

 

He leaned down and sliding his hand under my hip grabbed my cock and squeezed hard enough it made me yelp.

 

“Like that.”

 

Since when was Ryuu so cruel? He sounded almost irritated. I shuddered trying to get myself to relax except he hadn’t taken his hand off me but was instead slowly stroking me. The pleasure felt more intense after the pain for some reason.

 

“Do you really not like this? Not like being with me like this?”

 

“Tha-that’s not it.”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

I couldn’t really think straight at the moment and it wasn’t very fair of him to be asking me all these questions like we were having a normal conversation. How was I supposed to react, getting woke up like this? He was lucky I hadn’t punched him after the dream I’d been having.

 

“I . . .” How was I supposed to tell him that letting him do this made me feel emotions I’d never in my life felt before. Emotions that I’d always scoffed at in others. He shifted and I bit my lip feeling the pull. Fuck, that felt weird, I could feel the pressure against my tail bone and it was kind of freaking me out. Just how far in was he? “It’s not that I don’t like it . . . I’m just not sure how I feel about it yet.”

 

He murmured something I didn’t catch and I gasped as he slid back. Was he getting off me? No, no he wasn’t. Oh holy shit.

 

“Oh shi-it. Ry-Ryuu.”

 

He let go of my cock and I felt him lean down, his chest against my back. His breath was warm on my cheek. “Kenta . . . do you really want me to stop? Remember how good it was yesterday? Don’t you want that again? I can make it even better.”

 

My skin felt like it was crawling. Better? How could it be better? I gasped my head coming up as he came back down.

 

“God you are so tight.” Hands grabbed my hips and suddenly he was moving faster. At least this time it was sliding in and out easier, there was no pain at all. Just this incredible pleasure that would spike each time he thrust into me. Okay, yeah this was better. I realized I was moaning with each movement of his hips, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was impossible, it simply felt too good. Before I even realized it I was coming all over the place shouting his name. I heard him moaning and then there was suddenly extra warmth all through me. Holy fuck. He’d just come inside me. He slumped down against me. I could feel him trembling and soft lips brushed my ear then my neck.

 

“I’m sorry for not waking you first, but after yesterday I was afraid you’d never let me top again. I just wanted to show you that it could be good.”

 

I sighed. “I enjoyed yesterday. Even if my ass was so sore it was hard to sit.”

I sucked in a breath as he pulled out. I felt rather sticky now, that slickness dripping down the insides of my thighs. My skin was tingling, my muscles still twitching. My heart was pounding like fucking mad and there was an odd pressure in my chest. I blinked a few times not sure what to do about the stinging behind my eyes. What the fuck was wrong with me? So my boyfriend fucked me, wasn’t that how it was supposed to work? I shivered as he pulled me over onto my side, hugging me to him. I met his eyes for just a moment, the grey seeming unreal. The pressure in my chest suddenly exploded into full blown pain. Why did he want to be with me? I was nothing but a fucking thug. I didn’t even realize I’d said anything till he frowned.

 

“Why what?”

 

I fumbled for words. Nothing new there. “Why me?”

 

“Kenta . . .” He suddenly looked pained, his brow furrowing. “I love you, like I’ve never loved anyone in my life. I would do anything for you. I just want to make you happy and see you smile. Making love to you is just one way of showing you just how much I love you and want to be with you.”

 

Making love.

 

“Kenta . . . are you upset with me.”

 

I looked up at him realizing I’d not said anything for a while, too lost in my own thoughts. I shook my head. “No . . . not upset . . . just confused.”

 

“About us? Or about sex?”

 

“Umm . . . both?”

 

He pulled me tighter against him. His warmth made the pain fade into a softer heat that wasn’t as unbearable.

 

“It’s okay to be confused Kenta, but if that is the case, please talk to me. I don’t like not knowing what you are thinking. You scared me yesterday. I thought you were upset and had left because of what we’d done.”

 

I wanted to smack him. “If you thought I was mad about it why the hell did you jump me this morning?”

 

He nuzzled his face into my hair. “You naked in my bed is just begging to be jumped.”

 

“And if I’d reacted badly?”

 

“I would have cried for a while and never done it again.”

 

That sobered me up a bit. I never wanted Ryuu to think that this relationship only went one way.

 

“Kenta . . . who is Rame?”

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hey...

 

actually I haven't finished reading your novel cause it's so loong...

 

but now I wanna make a comment (as i promised)..

 

I just only read 3 first story..and they really interest me ali_072.gif I copied more to my phone to read them tomorrow!

 

I like the way you describe the character's behaviour and activities and feelings...

and your words...sometimes sad and sorrow but sometimes warm and very sweet :)

 

you know I like the feelings of myself when reading your fic: relax and comfortable :) (even though one of them you marked 18+ in words ...)

 

I will try to read all of the chapters. Thank you broh-chan :D

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Ryuu

 

He stiffened and suddenly was shoving me away. I sat up, my heart beating a little too fast. Was he upset with me? He got up, took one step and promptly collapsed. I jumped up ready to help.

 

“Kenta! Are you alright?”

 

“I’m going to fucking beat you Ryuu.” I sank back in the bed at the low growl a sudden ache blossoming in my chest, my body numb. “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.”

 

“H-hai.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. I’d fucked up big time letting my emotions get the better of me. It was just . . . I wanted to be with him, wanted to give him that kind of pleasure. Deep down I knew I’d been selfish, taking without asking. A nasty little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that it was fine, he’d enjoyed it even if he was complaining now, didn’t I deserve to get to have that kind of pleasure too? I shook my head trying to silence it. No. It was wrong of me. I should never have taken advantage of him like that. That was something Naoki would have done. Even if I’d thought he wanted it, I should have woke him first and made sure.

 

Kenta had got back to his feet and was wobbling in the direction of the bathroom. I felt my throat tighten. I hadn’t even made sure he was alright from yesterday. What kind of person was I? Was I really that self serving and self centered? I had to make it up to him somehow. Flinging back the covers I jumped out of the bed, following him into the bathroom. I cringed hearing him hiss in pain as he bent to start the tub. Going over to the cabinet under the sink I got a couple of washcloths. I turned back to see him looking at me, a guarded expression on his face. I looked down at the tile.

 

“Ken-“

 

“Go back to bed Ryuu.”

 

I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

 

“No I am not.”

 

I bit my lip hard enough there was a slight metallic tang on my tongue. I’d hurt him. My beautiful, caring, sweet Kenta and I’d hurt him. Could I be any more horrible? I was despicable, utterly and completely. I was no better than Naoki.

 

“Ryuu . . .” A soft sob slipped free and I desperately tried to get myself back under control. I needed to take care of him not stand around crying like some whiny bitch.

“Ryuu, you didn’t hurt me, well . . . not that much. That’s not what I was talking about. Where did you hear the name Rame?”

 

I slowly lifted my head, afraid to meet those devastatingly beautiful eyes. That name upset him? All the more reason to know who it was then. I managed to get myself back under control. “You . . . when . . . um just before you woke up you said ‘no Rame’. It shocked me a bit.”

 

Those dark eyes bored into me for what seemed like an eternity before he grunted and turned away. “He was my cellmate in juvie for a while.”

 

“Oh . . . did he-“

 

“Drop it Ito.”

 

There was no room for discussion when he used that tone. He was not going to talk about it and nothing I said was going to change that. I nodded slowly and walking over took his arm and helped him into the tub. He sighed, his eyes closing as he laid back. I dipped the cloth in the water and gently ran it over his shoulders and chest. He twitched slightly and opened his eyes.

 

“Just relax. I’m sorry about what I did. It was unfair of me. I should have woke you.”

 

“You are fucking lucky I didn’t knock the shit out of you.”

 

I nodded, my eyes suddenly stinging. I quickly wiped at them hearing a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Sorry the guys must be here.”

 

Kenta grunted. “What time is it anyway?”

 

I glanced around. “Oh . . . eleven.”

 

“Eleven? In the morning? Fuck Ryuu, you barely let me sleep an hour.”

 

“Oh . . . I-I’m sorry. You can go back to bed if you want.”

 

Leaving him the rag I grabbed myself a pair of pants and pulled them on. He really was mad at me. There was no mistaking it. It made me feel sick, a cold ache in my stomach. I opened the door and slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. Sora was walking down the hall away from me, but turned back.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were up yet.” Sora’s smile instantly faded as he looked at me. “What’s wrong?”

 

I looked down, not sure if I should say anything. Sora was one of my very best friends, but for the first time I didn’t want to say anything. I was simply too ashamed of what I’d done.

 

“Nothing, just didn’t sleep too well. Kenta just got home a little bit ago.”

 

“Oh, sorry for getting you up then.”

 

I shook my head and then had to brush the hair out of my face. “No, I needed to get up. I’m going to go get some breakfast.”

 

Kenta slept most of the rest of the day. Everyone was over and we were all sitting in the studio discussing how to fix one of the songs we were having trouble with. I looked up as the door opened, Kenta poking his head in.

 

“Hey Kenta! You woke up!” Hasu jumped up, walking over to him. “Can we spar tomorrow? I’ve got some free time.”

 

Kenta opened the door fully and stepped inside. His eyes flickered over to me for just a moment and then he was smiling at Hasu.

 

“Sorry, I gotta work.”

 

“Oh . . . maybe another day then.”

 

“Sure.” Kenta ruffled his hair affectionately and I was shocked at the stab of jealousy. What was wrong with me?

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Kenta

 

It was a week before I was able to follow up on any of the contacts Isao had given me. Only one turned out to have anything. It was not what I wanted to hear.

 

“Your girl . . . she was paid by a runner. The guy behind it is keeping pretty much to the shadows, but don’t think Ito will be the only one targeted.” The voice over the phone sounded like sheet metal over gravel. Too much booze and cigarettes was my guess. The hacking cough every few sentences kinda gave it away too.

 

“Any fucking idea on why?”

 

“Don’t know and don’t give a shit. Who gives a flying fuck about some dumb ass band anyway? Stupid cock suckers are probably high half the time anyway.” That’s when I decided I didn’t fucking like this shit head, informant or not.

 

The next name on the list found me standing outside a gay bar. I’d never been in one. Wasn’t real fucking thrilled about going into one either. I’m not gay. Er . . . okay so I fucking am. But only with Ryuu. Fucking hell this was stupid. I decided it wasn’t worth it and got back on my bike.

 

“Hey cutie! Aren’t you coming in?”

 

I jerked, tightening my chinstrap too tight and pinching myself. “Fuck.”

 

“Oooh sexy bike for a sexy man.” I turned to see a . . . person walking toward me, hips swaying as long eyelashes batted at me in a way that was a completely fucking disgusting. It took me several long moments to realize I was looking at an escort. A male escort. He smiled at me in a way he probably thought was sexy. Ryuu had him beat hands down and without any of the obvious effort. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I’ll show you a good time.”

 

“If by good time you mean I get to beat the shit out of you for the sheer fucking hell of it, then fine.”

 

His eyes widened and he paled, the lipstick smeared lips trembling slightly. He backed away so fast I thought he was going to fall on that barely covered ass. Teach him to solicit minors.

 

I shook my head and revving the bike took off. I’d look somewhere else for the info I needed. I had other contacts. They might know something. They didn’t but said they’d keep their ears and eyes open. I sighed and closing my phone leaned back against my bike as I looked out at the ships slowly chugging their way toward the docks. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the boys were in danger. Serious danger from the sound of it. Who would target them and why? Maybe I should go back and talk with Isao. He seemed to have the best contacts. I shifted to get more comfortable, the heat from the engine searing through my jeans. As much as I needed the help, I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to protect Ryuu and the boys. I was their body guard. It was my responsibility. I’d already let Ryuu down so many times. I wanted to get this right. I looked down as my phone started ringing. I raised my eyebrows seeing the number. Why was she calling me?

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve got a problem.”

 

“Like I fucking need another one. What’s going on?”

 

“Obuchi made parole.”

 

I blinked a couple of times. “What?”

 

“You heard me. Keep an eye out. I might be your parole officer but I’d rather not see you get killed. He still talked about you. His parole officer said to warn you after what happened. I don’t know that he’ll do anything, but . . . just be careful Kenta.”

 

I suddenly felt cold, the breeze off the ocean chilling me even with the heat from the bike behind me. “Hai . . . thanks.”

 

“Yeah no prob. Take care of yourself kiddo.”

 

Hanging up I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked out over the water. I couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling like I was falling while still standing still. There was too much going on. I needed time to sit down and think. I just needed some fucking time. Why did he have to get out now? Like I didn’t already have enough going on. Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

Rame was out of prison.

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Your writing is just so smooth. I can imagine every single detail in my mind as I read it.

The vocabulary and way the sentences are formed, clear and full of meaning... Such quality work *.*

You're the best, brohne. I was already fan of your drawings and now I'm also a fan of your writing.

It's just too good of a plot, great characters, with proper development, with humor and action and drama. I'm not sure how too describe the form you write the love scenes, they are sweet and hot and steamy and contribute to the story instead of being just gratuitous porn (not that I don't like gratuitous porn, let's not lie to ourselves, but nothing compare to storyline-developing porn).

 

I love that Kenta's first time as uke hurt. Because it makes it even more real. Of course it won't just feel good. And the pain just makes it even better. Your writing is already realistic and completely believable, and it's in the little things like that that the reader gets totally engrossed in the story.

One of the factors I like the most is that you tell the story in the perspective of both of the two protagonists. It's so nice to be able to see the world from both their eyes.

As I told you before, my favorite character is Kenta, by far. Ryuu's father is also pretty damn amusing, I like him a lot.

Your descriptions have such a silky fell, like the words such roll one after another, be it when your describing the characters physical appearance of baring their feelings. It's amazing. Just pure and simply amazing. Being capable of writing like this is fantastic, really.

I don't even have words to really say what I want to say right now about your work so when the exact words come to mind I'll run here and comment again. Waiting impatiently for the next chapter. I'm diyng to read Kenta's reaction to Ryuu's question and know exactly what happened to him in the youth detention center.

 

 

brohneilovethiswantmoreloveyou foxy3

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:cuteonion41::3onion15:you actually made me cry with your kind words. I'm so touched I don't even know what to say. What I will do is keep writing. There is a lot more in store for these two.

:mashimaro6:foxy1

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Kenta

 

I spent the rest of the day tracking down the rest of the leads. Oddly things were starting to point back to the gay bar.

 

“Yeah, the owner was complaining that one of the customers keeps roughing up his escorts.”

 

I frowned listening to the bartender as I sipped at my coke. No rum, unlike Suke. Can’t stand the stuff. This guy was pretty good. I didn’t put the flourishes into my pouring like he did. Maybe if I did I’d get better tips. Or tips at all. Reiko was about the only person that fucking tipped me.

 

“Got a name?”

 

“Nah, you know how they are about client confidentiality.”

 

“What?”

 

“Confidentiality, you know . . . privacy?”

 

“Oh . . . yeah that makes sense.”

 

He shook his head at me a strange look on his face and went back to wiping out glasses. “Anyway, if you need info that bad you should talk to the escorts.”

 

“Fuck no.”

 

“What? You got something against fags?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed in his face.

 

“No. Not exactly.” I set my drink down looking at it for a moment. “You heard anything about a guy named Obuchi Rame?”

 

He set the glass down carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Word has it that he made parole.”

 

“Yeah I’d heard that too. Anyone saying anything?”

“Not yet but . . . he was only out of juvie for a month before he violated his parole last time.”

 

I grunted. I knew that much. “Yeah, he went to the big boy prison after that.”

 

“What’s your connection with him?”

 

I picked my coke up and took a long slow drink before setting it down and looking up at the man. “He was my cell mate in juvie.”

 

“Oh . . . Oh! Shit man I had a buddy who was in with you guys. Oda? He said that fucker had a sadistic streak, tried to rape his cellmate and almost got gutted. That wasn’t you . . . was it?“

 

“It wasn’t like that.” Better lie now or my rep was shot to hell and back. “We didn’t get along and I ended up in isolation after a fight with him. The gutting part’s right.”

 

“Shit man.” He shook his head focusing on the pitcher he was filling with beer. He handed it off to a waiter and looked back at me. “So what are you doing out here? Don’t like your new job?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“The bodyguard thing.”

 

“Oh, no that’s easy. The band is fun. They are the biggest fucking dorks you’ve ever met for being rock stars. It’s all the crazy ass fan girls that get on my nerves. Sometimes I think being a yakuza is safer.”

 

He laughed at that and we talked for a bit longer about nothing much. I’d just finished my coke and was getting ready to pay when his eyes narrowed as he looked up and over my shoulder. I instantly tensed, my hand sliding down to my hip, my fingers brushing over the sheath were my knife was hidden. He slowly inclined his head while at the same time moving away from me.

 

“You might want to move.”

 

I spun around, crouching low. An arm swept through the air where I had been just a second ago. I had a quick glance at a dark suit with a white shirt. Lashing out I slammed my fist into his side. He fell back but there were three more waiting. Four dark suits and then I spotted the cream colored suit behind them. Shit. Another gang? But who? No time. I side stepped a lunge but that brought me within range of the other guy. I blocked the punch and landed one of my own. He grunted and staggered back crashing into a table.

 

“Oi!!! Take it outside shit heads!”

 

Like there was time for that. Who the fuck were these guys? Most gangs knew better than to just attack a Kobayashi. I dodged a fist while knocking down a kick aimed at my stomach. Shit! These guys weren’t fighting fair. At this rate . . . fuck! I tried to move back but the bar was in the way. A foot slammed into my chest and I bounced off the bar and directly into a punch. Shit that hurt, my back throbbing as I tried to take a breath. Flinging up an arm, I tried to block the next punch only to realize too late it was a distraction as I was tackled from the side. Stars burst all around me as my head cracked against the bar. After that I didn’t feel a whole lot, just vague impressions of movement and the sound of voices. Then someone was hauling me up and I blinked several times realizing I was being drug outside. Fuck! I tried to pull away and to my complete horror I was bodily picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder, a bony shoulder that cut into my stomach and made breathing even more difficult.

 

“Oi! What the hell are you doing?” That was the bartender. What did he care? Fuck this hurt. I couldn’t even find the strength to lift my head. It was pounding so hard it was making me dizzy. Then we were outside. The sudden brightness too much, I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe.

 

“He out?”

 

“Not sure.”

 

“Put him down here.” I was dumped on the ground and then propped against a wall. I really wished I could fucking snap out of it. I wanted to rip these guys apart.

 

“You sure this is the right guy? He’s kinda small to be-“

 

“No it’s him. See.” There were fingers on my arm and it was lifted, my sleeve pulled back. The small dragon tattoo on the inside of my wrist was the only one I had. “Kobayashi’s crest. He’s one of their enforcers. Boss’ description of him was dead on too.”

 

Boss? So it was another gang. I choked as water was suddenly splashed in my face. Oddly it seemed to snap me out of the daze I’d been in.

 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you fuckers.” I glared up at them, and forced myself to my feet, using the wall for support. There were five of them. Four dark suits and the cream. They all had their hair slicked back and dark glasses on. It was the police batons and brass knuckles that caught my attention more than anything.

 

Cream suit stepped forward and taking his glasses off looked down his fat nose at me. “We are just delivering a message. Stay in your territory and back off the questions.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

He smirked at me. “No, I think it would be the other way around.” He stepped forward and before I could move had grabbed me around the neck. He slammed me back against the wall. “You will lay off or I’ll tell Obuchi where to find you.”

Something must have showed on my face cause he laughed. A low nasty sound.

 

“Yeah . . . didn’t think you’d like that. He’s looking for you, ya know.”

 

I felt my eyes widen. A very different kind of weakness hit me and breathing was suddenly much harder than it should have been. Just thinking about him had my heart pounding. He was looking for me? Then Ryuu was in serious danger.

 

Fat nose was still talking. “So, just stick to following around those fags you work for in that band and stop with all the questions.”

 

I grabbed his wrist and twisted sharply, ripping his hand off my neck. He yelped and had to turn to keep me from snapping his wrist. “They ain’t fags and if you know whose got it out for them you better fucking tell me before I break your fucking arm.”

 

“I ain’t telling you shit, cocksucker!”

 

I twisted harder and then with my foot shoved him into the two guys who were coming up fast. There was a short scuffle, too short and ended with me bleeding on the pavement. Fuck I was not having a good day.

 

***

 

“Kenta . . . come on man . . . Kenta! Shit!” What was Hayate so pissed about? “Fuck! Isao I’m going to need your help.”

 

I was being lifted. What the fuck was going on? I’d had enough of being carried around today.

 

“Shit Kenta you need to eat more. Never mind Isao, I’ve got him. Did you find his bike?”

 

“Yeah both tires are slashed and somebody keyed the shit out of the paintjob.”

 

“Fuck.” I got my eyes open.

 

“Finally!” Hayate was looking down at me his eyebrows nearly meeting over his nose. “Shit man, who fucked you up?”

 

“Put me the fuck down.” It hurt to talk, my jaw throbbing in time with my heart beat. I didn’t like that as soon as he put me down I felt like I was going to fall right back on my ass. “Some stupid gang thought they could imitate me.”

 

“You mean intimidate.”

 

I glared at Isao. Why did he always have to correct me? “Yeah whatever.”

 

“Intimidate you. Why?”

 

I shrugged and winced. My shoulder was sore too. Probably from slamming into the wall. “Guess they didn’t like me drinking in their bar. What the hell are you doing here anyway?”

 

“The bartender called Jiro, said you’d gotten taken down and drug out. He sent us over to check on you. Good thing we did. You look like shit, Arakaki.” I looked away from Isao feeling like he was looking right though me. “We’ll load up your bike in my truck and take you home. You got money for new tires?”

 

“Yeah. Just take me to Ryuu’s.”

 

I watched while the two of them got my bike loaded into the back of Isao’s Nissan. I was going to kill those guys next time I saw them. It was going to cost me the next months pay to fix my bike.

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Ryuu

 

I couldn’t stop pacing. I could feel Sora’s eyes on me as he sat on the couch. Hayate and Isao had left about thirty minutes ago and Kenta was in my bed resting.

 

“Ryuu . . . he’s okay. He’s just a little banged up.”

 

“I know!” I flung my arms up in frustration. “He has a concussion though. He just goes out for a drink and five guys jump him? What the fucking hell?”

 

Sora shrugged, his voice soft. “It’s part of his job Ryuu. From what Iesada said it was a rival gang and he was on contested territory.”

 

“Its fucking stupid and you know it.”

 

“I’m not arguing with you about it Ryuu. You knew when you hired him that he hadn’t given up being yakuza.”

 

I flopped down on the couch next to him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate seeing him hurt and . . . something else is wrong. He’s even quieter than usual.”

 

“He did say his jaw hurt.”

 

I shot a look at Sora and he held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying. Maybe it hurts to talk.”

 

I slumped down, knowing I was pouting and not caring in the least. “We have a concert this weekend. What if he can’t work?”

 

“That’s not all you are worried about.”

 

I laid my head over on Sora’s shoulder, sighing. “No. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.”

 

I never got the chance. He didn’t wake up by the time I was ready for bed, so I just curled up next to him. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. There was a text on my phone telling me breakfast was on the table and that he’d be back in time for dinner. I figured he was trying to get his bike fixed. It was his only means of getting around. He hated taking public transportation. So did I for that matter. Buses are filthy. I sent him a quick text.

 

I’ll make dinner tonight.

 

One came back just as fast.

 

Don’t you fucking dare.

 

I laughed and typed out my response. My kitchen, means I can do what I want in it.

It took him a little bit longer to respond but I laughed out loud. God how I loved that man.

 

Jack off instead.

 

That actually sounded like a good idea. Maybe later. I had stuff to get done before I headed out with Sora to go get his birthday present. It was kind of hard to believe that he was going to be turning twenty-one in a few days. I was going to be twenty one next March. That made me wonder when Kenta’s birthday was. Had I already missed it? I would feel horrible if that was the case. I wondered if he was going to be nineteen or twenty. I honestly wasn’t sure. I’d have to go check his paper work. Some boyfriend I am. Can’t even remember his birthday.

 

It took me thirty minutes to find his stuff. I really did not get Reiko’s filing system. June. Wow and he was going to be twenty. So he was younger. He sure as hell didn’t act it. My eyes dropped down the paper and I realized he had no emergency contact. None. No family. Nothing. It caused a soft pain in my chest. The only contact listed was a woman. A Takemitsu Shiori. The number was for a local parole office. His parole officer? That was his only contact? Why hadn’t he at least put Hayate or Isao was an emergency contact? Or even Daisuike? Or me . . . wait that wouldn’t work. If he was with me and there was an emergency that wouldn’t work. Still yet it got me to wondering, not for the first time, just why Kenta had went to juvenile corrections. From what Akira had told me, no one knew for certain. Not even Hayate and Daisuike. He flat out refused to talk about it.

 

Taking a deep breath, I blew it out softly and put the file back. It wasn’t like there weren’t things I didn’t keep from him. It just worried me. Who was this Rame person and why would he have been dreaming about him? From his reaction it had to be something bad. I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth as a sudden thought hit me. I didn’t get to dwell on it as I heard the front door open.

 

“Hey Ryuu! You decent?”

 

I scrambled to my feet and trotted out to the hallway. “No, but you don’t care.” I grinned at Sora as he just shook his head.

 

“Go put clothes on Ito, you damn exhibitionist.”

 

“Meh, you’re just jealous you don’t look this good naked.”

 

“Short and hairy?”

 

“Oi! I’m not hairy!” I stomped my foot glaring at Sora, though I couldn’t help glancing down. I did have more hair than Kenta, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Though he didn’t like stubble, which I found rather cute. “And everyone is shorter than you. Giant strawberry colored freak.”

 

“Well if you are going to call names I guess I won’t share the food Gramps sent over.”

 

“Ah! Oh! Kenta left me breakfast!” I’d gotten totally sidetracked.

 

Over breakfast Sora and I discussed the upcoming concert and the set list. As always he was concerned about not overtaxing Hasu. The little guy put his heart and soul into drumming and sometimes his blood. Though after he’d passed out onstage during our tour we were a lot more careful about making sure he got breaks and didn’t play until he was too exhausted to move. Reiko got very -very pissed at me if I did more than two encores. Though, obviously the whole band had to agree to do them. Three was our absolute limit. Usually by the third time, we’d just come out and throw free stuff at the fans. Three is pushing it even for me. You put on an hour to two hour show and three encores can make it last another hour more, easy. That’s a fucking long night, as Kenta would put it.

 

Thinking of Kenta reminded me of something else. “Hey Sora . . . you know Kenta went to juvie, right?”

 

“Yeah I heard him and Akira talking about it. Apparently they went to the same one but just missed seeing each other, different cell blocks. Neither of them talk about it much.”

 

“Yeah, he um . . . kind of let a name slip the other day.”

 

Sora raised his eyebrows at me, the deep green eyes inquisitive. “Really? Good slip or bad slip, you seem kind of . . . upset about it.”

 

“Well . . . that was partly my fault. Sora . . . I-I’m afraid he got raped in juvie.” I went on in a rush seeing the shocked expression on his face. “He did say that something had happened, that someone had tried and he’d beat them up but . . . sometimes just the way he acts reminds me of-“

 

“Us.” I nodded seeing the pain simmering just behind Sora’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry to bring it up Sora.”

 

He shook his head, the red hair whipping back and forth. “No, we both went through it. If he did too . . . then you know how to help, right? Or did you want me to talk to him.”

 

“I . . . I was kind of hoping you would. From . . . from what he’s said it was a gang . . . “

 

“Oh . . .” Sora looked down his voice soft. “I see.”

 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry Sora.” I jumped up rushing around the table to grab him in a hug. He let me hug him for a moment before gently pushing me away.

 

“It’s okay Ryuu. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it honestly.”

 

I sat back down, watching him intently. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

“Yeah.” He nodded his eyes on his empty plate. “Just, if he was gang raped, there are a lot of other things involved. It’s not like what happened with you and Naoki.”

 

“I-I know . . . I was there, remember.”

 

His smile was so sad it broke my heart, tears stinging my eyes. “That had to have been so hard for you Ryuu.”

 

I shook my head quickly, wanting to banish those images. “It was horrible. Utterly and completely devastating, Sora. I couldn’t do anything to help you.”

 

He reached across the table and wiped the tear off my cheek. “You tried and that is all that matters, Ryuu. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. If you want me to approach Kenta about it I will. Therapy has done wonders for me and maybe he’ll benefit from it too. You know how much you improved after you went. Even after the stuff with Naoki. I promise it will help him if he goes.”

 

“I hope so. Sometimes he just seems so . . . lost and alone even when he’s right next to me.”

 

We spent the rest of the morning talking about less tragic subjects, which I was happy about. Sometimes those things needed to be discussed. I’d had a few people over the years ask why Sora and I had never got together, considering how close we are. It’s simple. I could never, ever do anything sexual with him. Not after what happened to him . . . to us. I love Sora, but he is more of my brother than anything. I wouldn’t have it any different.

 

He was playing a video game when Akira, Reiko and Hasu got in from school. Then it was time to practice. Honestly this was my favorite time of day, other than spending time with Kenta. To get to be with my friends and make music together, there is nothing better. Except being with Kenta. Nothing came close to that.

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Ryuu

 

“Hey Ryuu . . .”

 

I looked down at where Kenta’s head was pillowed in my lap. He’d been asleep, or so I’d thought. I ran my fingers along the smooth jaw and smiled. I’d called Hayate three days ago and officially kidnapped Kenta. He was not allowed out of my house until all the bruises were gone. So far he hadn’t said a word about it. We’d been watching an American movie in English with subtitles when he’d fallen asleep. He’d complained that trying to keep up with reading the subtitles gave him a headache and had laid over on me and been asleep within moments. He did that a lot. Kind of reminded me of Akira. I really did need to get on to him more about eating better. I knew he didn’t like vegetables but it was ridiculous how particular he was about it.

 

“What?”

 

He turned his head slightly to look up at me a soft smile on the full lips. “When did you realize you liked guys?”

 

I raised my eyebrows at him. That was an unusual question for him to be asking.

 

“Why?”

 

He sighed and looked back toward the TV. “Just was wondering. I asked Hayate how he knew he was gay and he just laughed and said he didn’t talk about his sex life. Daisuike said he never thought he was until he met Ruka.”

 

“When were you talking to them about this?” I smoothed the dark hair back from his forehead and he looked back up at me.

 

“It was a while ago. Before . . . before we got together.”

 

“Oh, so why are you asking me?”

 

He sat up and I immediately missed the comforting weight. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked down, his dark hair partially obscuring his face.

 

“I was just wondering how you knew.”

 

“Oh, well . . .” I thought for a moment about how best to explain it. “I guess it wasn’t one of those things that just hit me all the sudden. Ever since I was little I’ve liked doing things differently than other guys. As I got older I realized that I found both boys and girls attractive. In middle school I had a girl friend for a while, but we gradually just drifted apart. I had a boyfriend for a while in high school but he moved. I got myself into a pretty bad situation in high school and Sora got hurt because of it. After that I didn’t date anyone until my last boyfriend. But as far as how you know, it’s like with anyone else. You fall for someone you are attracted to, whether they are a boy or a girl.” Leaning forward I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him back against me nuzzling his neck. “And if you are truly lucky, they love you back. Why?”

 

His soft laugh was the only response. He twisted around in my arms and leaning up kissed me softly. I loved the feel of those soft full lips against mine. The way he’d start out a kiss so gentle yet insistent, there was no denying him, no resisting.

Before I’d realized it I was pulling him closer my fingers slipping through the silken hair. I moaned softly feeling his fingers slide up under my shirt. My whole body was suddenly hot, my skin tingling.

 

Then he was kissing my neck, his hands sliding up my sides. I pulled his shirt up trying to work it off. His skin was smooth and warm under my fingertips and I wanted to get my mouth on him. Just seeing him every day was not enough, it would never be enough. Ever.

 

“Bedroom.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Before I could even move he’d scooped me up off the couch and was headed down the hallway. It sent a thrill though me like nothing else, my body running hot then cold as tingles erupted along my skin. How could he be so damn romantic and not even realize it? I kissed his neck, sucking at the soft skin, feeling his groan vibrate deep in his chest. My back hit the bed, his weight settling over me as he attacked my lips again. I wanted his clothes off damn it! I wanted to feel that smooth delicious skin and those taunt muscles. I wanted the throbbing length I could feel pressing into my hip.

 

“Make me yours Kenta.”

 

There was a soft chuckle. “Being a bit dramatic there Ryuu?”

 

“So? You like it. Now shut up and stop teasing me.”

 

“Isn’t that usually what I say?” His hands where already shoving my pants off making me gasp softly at the urgency of his movements. He was practically ripping them off, barely bothering with unzipping them before yanking them past my hips. It made me shudder with anticipation. He wasn’t usually this aggressive. Hot, slightly calloused fingers slid back up my thighs, the rough feel sending tingles racing through me. I blinked a few times staring at the ceiling and suddenly found myself staring into that gorgeous face. He grinned at me and I couldn’t help smiling back. Then he was kissing me. Warm soft lips enveloping mine for a moment before a tentative tongue poked past them. I met him eagerly. I wanted him so badly I was starting to shake with need, a burning warmth growing in my middle.

 

His weight settled down over me, pressing my erection against his hip and making me moan into his mouth. He rocked his hips back a few times, the friction making me writhe a bit. A whine slipped free as his mouth left mine. The dark eyes were soft and heavy lidded the look so sultry I shuddered. Did he have any idea how he affected me, the way a simple look from him could seem to make my blood turn to fire in my veins? That sinuous mouth twitched into a soft smile that wanted to become a smirk.

 

“Shit . . . you are gorgeous.” He lowered his head again, warm moist lips sliding along my jaw to my neck. I closed my eyes, barely breathing as he kissed the sensitive skin. I was tingling fiercely all over now. He thought I was gorgeous? He’d never said anything like that before and I wasn’t quite sure what to say. Any ability or willingness to speak was taken away as his warm fingers wrapped around my erection, gently stroking me. Naoki had never been this gentle, sex with him had always been a slightly rough, quick affair. I shook myself. I didn’t need to be thinking of him now, not when I had this amazing man quickly driving me insane with lust. I couldn’t help the gasp that faded into a moan as moist heat surrounded the tip of my erection. I shuddered, my legs quivering as he slowly, languorously took my full length into his mouth. I was worried for a moment that I was going to choke him, but the sensation was so overwhelming the thought was lost as soon as it came to me. Naoki had never once bothered to give me a blow job. After the first couple of times of being with him it was all about him and he’d made me feel like I should feel privileged at that. I should have seen the signs sooner, should have realized what he was doing, how he was manipulating me, but I’d been too young, too enamored of the new feelings. The thrill of being ‘in love’ had blinded me to the fact that it was nothing more than lust.

 

I gasped my fingers gripping the sheets so tight it almost hurt as he continued. The alternating heat from his tongue and the cool air on moist skin was quickly driving me crazy. I blinked several times surprised to feel the all too familiar stinging in my eyes. How could he love me? Why? I was pathetic and useless. I was nothing. Nothing but a source of money and sex. So pathetic and stupid. I had a sudden visual of long pale legs, red hair and redder blood.

 

“Get off.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Get off me.”

 

“Ry-“

 

“Get off me!” I was shaking as his warmth suddenly disappeared. Turning over on my side I buried my face into the blanket feeling weak and sick. What was wrong with me? Why would I think about that now of all times? I jerked as a warm hand was placed on my side.

 

“Ryuu . . . did I do something wrong?”

 

“No . . .” My throat was so tight it hurt to talk and I clutched the blanket harder. “It’s not you.”

 

The silence stretched out until I couldn’t take it anymore. I slowly raised my head, glancing over at him through a curtain of tangled hair. I could just make out his features in the dim light from the widow. A sudden frustration gripped me and I looked away from him. Why did he bother sticking around me?

 

“Go home Kenta.”

 

“Fuck that.”

 

“Shut up and go home.”

 

“Ain’t gonna.” His voice was soft and I felt the bed dip, his weight suddenly settling over me again.

 

“Stop! Just stop it Kenta.” I tried to push him away as he kissed my neck. Strong fingers grabbed my wrists and I yelped as he yanked my arms to the side pinning them.

 

“Not stopping. Yer upset and I wanna know why.”

 

“Just forget it. It’s . . . it’s stupid.”

 

The slight weight shifted and then he was laying beside me, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me close “Ito . . . if it’s bad enough to make you refuse sex, then I want to fucking know why.”

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Kenta

 

He just laid there for a while not moving, not saying anything. I was getting fucking irritated and was about ready to smack him when he finally sighed and turned to face me.

 

“Why do you stay?”

 

I frowned and brushing the hair out of his face leaned forward until our noses were touching. “Could ask you the same. What’s wrong Ryuu?”

 

His eyes dropped down, the dark lashes hiding the gray. When he didn’t say anything I finally pulled his head up. “Ryuu . . . if I did somethin’ wrong I want you to tell me.”

 

He pulled back and shook his head. “No . . . it’s not you. I . . . sometimes the-my thoughts get the better of me.”

 

I scowled. I knew I’d sensed something was wrong with him from the first time we’d met. “He beat you didn’t he? That fucker you used to date.” Ryuu flinched and tried to move away. I grabbed him holding him tighter so he couldn’t get up. “No, he did more than just beat you. He abused you. He -”

 

“Stop it! Just stop. You don’t know . . . “ His voice dropped down to a whisper. “You don’t know.”

 

“How can I when you won’t fucking tell me.” Letting him go I got up and started to get dressed. I had better things to do that sit around watching him mope about something he couldn’t change.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To work. Since you don’t seem to want me here.”

 

“Wait! Kenta wait. Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . . I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”

 

I paused and looked at him. There was a sadness in his eyes that tore at me. I couldn’t leave him, not when he was hurting like this. I didn’t really want to go to work. I still had the rest of the week off and had been planning on spending most of it with Ryuu.

 

“Okay. Stayin’ but you gotta tell me what’s wrong.”

 

He nodded slowly. “Fine, but I’m going to need a drink to get through this.”

 

Once he had his glass of wine and was settled down I sat next to him on the bed. “This is kind of a long story, but I think you need to know what happened with Sora and I.”

 

Him and Sora? I thought this was about his ex. “You said you and Sora never-“

 

“Kenta . . . if I’m going to tell you, you need to just shut up and listen alright.”

 

I glared for a moment but couldn’t put any real heat behind it. He looked too fucking miserable. “A’right.”

 

“Sora and I met in high school and became friends instantly. He was shorter than me then, if you can believe that. By our second year he’d grown quite a bit and had a reputation for being a flirt. Not as much as me, but yeah.” Ryuu shrugged his lips twitching in a slight smile. “Well, once we decided we wanted to form a band we started going to clubs to try and find anyone who would be willing to help us. I wish now I would have just asked my Mother for help, but I wanted to show them that I could do something for myself.

 

“After a couple of months we were starting to get known at a few of the clubs we would go to. Most people were really nice. Some of them got a bit nasty cause Sora and I obviously are not fully Japanese, but we usually just laughed it off and went on. One night we went to one of our regular clubs. There was a group of guys from the University there but we didn’t think anything of it. I remember now that they were from the soccer team. Anyway, Sora and I were at the bar talking with the manager when one of them comes up to me. He seemed to think I was a girl. I played along for a little bit, even though Sora told me not to. I should have listened to him. I would do anything to go back and change what happened.

 

“Anyway . . . I went to go use the bathroom while Sora made some phone calls. That was when the guy cornered me as I came out. He was taller and heavier than me and well . . . you know how well I do when it comes to fighting. He was pissed off that I’d lead him on. I apologized and told him I would make it up to him. I offered to pay for the whole tab for the rest of the evening, anything they wanted. At first I thought he was going to accept, but then a couple of his friends came back and made fun of him. That was when he hit me. I told him I was sorry and begged him to stop, but it only seemed to make him angrier. It didn’t take long for his friends to join in. They dragged me into a back room and started to strip me. That was when I remember hearing Sora yelling.”

 

He paused and took a long drink of the wine. Shuddering he set the glass back down. Reaching over I lightly touched his arm. “It’s alright Ryuu you don’t have to tell me anymore.”

 

“No, I need to tell someone. Sora and I have kept it from everyone for so long. Only our parents know. I think you need to know.” He looked at me, the soft gray eyes blurred by tears. “There were five of them by that time. Three of them took on Sora while the other two continued beating me. I was almost unconscious by this time. I could hear Sora fighting them and trying to get to me. I couldn’t move anymore and was laying on the floor. The two who’d been beating me left to go help their friends since Sora wasn’t giving up. I was almost unconscious when I heard Sora start screaming. I’ve never again heard him like that. I hope I never do. Kenta . . .” Ryuu took a shuddering breath and looked up at me. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and it was so fucking obvious how much pain he was in that I didn’t want him to go on. “Kenta . . . they raped him. The five of them beat and raped him and I couldn’t do a fucking thing to help him. They were going to rape me too, but someone outside seemed to finally realize that the screaming was not normal. Sora was in the hospital for several weeks and had to have two surgeries. They almost killed him. I couldn’t do anything to help him either. I was completely useless when he needed me the most. So fucking useless. Not my money or my status could save him. Nothing I had could help him. I was fucking worthless . . . still am.”

 

I felt numb and sick. Never in my wildest fucking dreams had I imagined something like that had happened to either of them. Not knowing what to say, I pulled Ryuu against me. He was crying softly, the tears dripping on my shoulder. Sora was always so laid back I would never have thought . . . I paused, suddenly several things he’d said made a whole fucking lot more sense. “Fuck.”

 

We laid there for awhile, any thought of sex gone. I couldn’t get my head around what Ryuu had told me. It was no wonder Sora was so sensitive about certain things, especially when it came to Hasu or Ryuu. How could he be so calm and relaxed all the time? It had taken me months to quit looking over my shoulder all the time after I got out of juvie and I had escaped the worst of what could have happened. Five guys. Holy shit. I had to find who was fucking with the band and now. I was not going to let any fucking thing ever fucking happen to any of them ever fucking again. I’d kill someone first.

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