"I Love You, Son" (EvenEcho & Sathenus) {18+}

[EvenEcho]

John had been worried ever since his son started Senior Year. He was getting older, he was going to leave soon. No doubt about it, John was a very proud man, his son was going to college, he was going places, but those places didn't involve him. While this was normal for 'normal' families, he and his son had always been very close. It started when his wife had died, tragic, and tragedy brings people together as they say. He had caught onto his son's desperate attempts for his attention and while he was in middle school and just beginning high school, he tried to discourage his son's behaviour. He had always believed that incest was wrong, he had lived his entire life with those thoughts. It was what his parents taught him and what their parents taught them and so on, but he doubted they had ever seen how perfect their child was. Thane was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

 

Yes, John had loved his wife, but he loved his son more. The being that came from that union. He remembers a time, when Thane was in the 7th grade, that Thane had made him a little wooden statue in wood shop. He had been so proud of his son for creating something so artistic and it had warmed his heart that his son thought of him and made him something when all the other kids were making things for their girlfriends and boyfriends, but then that was the problem. His son was giving the statue to his boyfriend, his son had clearly begun to desire him, and John had turned cold. He had taken the gift and spoken with his son about the problems he saw in his behaviour. He felt bad for ever saying it but at the time he truly believed it, but even though he knows it's wrong, he doesn't feel that is is wrong. How could it be wrong to love someone. The Ancient Egyptians, the Romans, and all the ancient and medieval civilizations, hell it was common to marry cousins and sisters in the Georgian Era for heaven's sake. It was only modern times when society dictated that the feelings for someone that you knew their entire lives was wrong. It was the closest bond that someone could have, right?

 

It just confused John even more to be honest, but he knew that no matter what, he would apologize to his son for ever rejecting him, even when he was simply too young. He didn't want his son to resent him, he loved him with all his heart and more. He couldn't let Thane leave thinking that he didn't want him because that wasn't true, John did want him, he cared for him deeply.

 

"Thane?" John asks from the living room. He had been sitting in his reclined with a beer in his hand and a book on his lap for the past half hour. He was reading Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes for the millionth time. He didn't know how to broach this subject with his son, what if Thane thinks he is insane? What if he had been wrong all this time and only managed to confuse him even more? What if he was a horrible father? He really hoped he wasn't a horrible father; he tried his hardest to raise Thane and he thinks he did a pretty fine job himself. He sighed and rubbed his temples with one hand. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

 

(I hope this is a good enough starter. I wasn't sure how to start it.)

[Sathenus]

Thane went through his school day utterly distracted, in a few months his Senior year would be finished and he’d be heading off to college a few months after that. Yet his mind wasn’t on leaving college, it was on his father, the person he loved more than anyone. A few years ago, he remembered the other man telling him that it was wrong and discouraged his love for him. It had hurt being rejected by the person that he really loved, even if he now knew that his love for him was wrong. It felt right. Even now his mind was on his father and what he really wanted from him. So, instead of throwing himself at the other man like he had tried when he was younger he tried to keep his attention other ways. Desperate for praise that would show him that he may stand a chance at some point. By the time school was done for the day he had learned absolutely nothing, having been too preoccupied.

 

Even on his way home his mind was on the one person he really wanted. Of course, after being rejected Thane had dated, but no one meant so much to him as his father did. He just wasn’t into any of the guys he had dated even though they seemed more than interested in him. Entering the house, he put his backpack down next to the door when he heard the familiar voice call his name. Instantly he felt his heart swell and he sighed trying to force down any of the feelings he had before walking into the living room. Glancing towards the older man he gave him a small smile, “Hey… did you need something, Dad?” He asked a little curious. Than was unable to keep his eyes from roving over his father’s body and mind from roving.

 

Noticing the book in the other’s lap he smiled, “Ready it again I see?” He questioned knowing that he had read it so many times already. Still, he seemed to continue to enjoy it despite how many times he had read it already. In a lot of ways, he figured that was why he often found himself rereading books that he had read so many times he could probably recite them. After the past few years he had learned how to hide it when the feelings inside of him started to stir once more. Even now, when he felt something deep inside of him wanting more from the man before him he could hide it. Thane still wanted nothing more than to have more than just a father son relationship. Nothing had been able to squash that.

 

Clearing his throat Thane spoke, “I’ll have dinner started for us a little while.” Even though he didn’t have to cook, he found it as one of few ways to show his love. It felt like it was really the only way he could continue to show some of his feelings without overdoing it and receiving another talk about how he needed to change his behavior. It was innocent for a son to make dinner for their dad after all, or at least he saw it that way.

 

(No worries. My first posts usually aren't the best.)

[EvenEcho]

Just like that, John lost all courage upon seeing his adorable son. He just nodded and thanked Thane for cooking dinner again. He had to admit that he was quite the chef and he did enjoy having someone to cook for him, Lord knows that he wouldn't cook for himself (he'd probably live on cup-of-soups or something easy and microwavable). John put his book on the side table next to his chair before finishing off his beer and setting the empty bottle beside the book. There was so much he could say. "I love you" could be the start, but lots of parents told their children that they loved them. He was honestly too afraid to tell his son that he loved him in a less than fatherly manner, but he wanted to. He wanted to do many things and most of them were too 'unwholesome' for him to accept at the moment.

 

Once dinner was ready, John sat at the table. He liked to sit at the table, he liked it even more when Than sat across from him or to his side. They were one person short of the average family, but just the two of them was enough for John. That's all he needed to be happy.

 

"This is delicious, thank you again. You take such good care of me," he offered a smile before it turned into a frown and he looked down at his plate. He ate some more of the vegetables on his plate. He wasn't young anymore, he was only a few years away from forty and while men weren't really in their prime until their fifties, it didn't make him feel any younger. He also didn't want a lecture on why it was important to eat the whole meal and all that jazz. He smiled internally thinking about how cute Thane and how stubborn he could be. It would normally be a quality that people didn't like but Thane was so perfectly stubborn that it really didn't come off so much as stubborn as it did of him just caring strongly enough to defend and stick with something.

 

"How's school going?" He asked in an attempt to start conversation. It was too quiet and he did enjoy listening to Thane talk. He always had the most interesting things to say, even when his day was rather boring, John just enjoyed knowing that his son was doing well. He almost wanted to ask if he had met any cute boys, but it wouldn't be out of fatherly curiosity so much as it was out of jealously. Another wave that just made him feel wrong hit him. He ignored it and looked up to look at his son while he spoke as to do so was polite. The more he heard, the more he realized that his son really wasn't the child who had tried so hard to impress him, but the young man, no, the adult, who was actually taking care of him now. Hell, the boy fixed him dinner almost every night and somehow managed to get excellent grades as well. He didn't know how he did it, but he was so overwhelmingly proud of him. He wanted to just hug and kiss him, tell him how much he cared, how proud he was, how amazed he was by all the things he had accomplished. It was painful to ignore the part of him that wanted to love Thane in a more romantic manner.

[Sathenus]

After being thanked for cooking dinner again Thane just nodded and moved off to the kitchen. It was clear that whatever had been about to be said was not going to be said after all. Deciding not to think about it too much he just started on dinner. He had marinated the steak for dinner since that morning and knew it was ready to go. As he cooked he made sure he cooked some vegetables and mashed potatoes. Thane had just finished cooking dinner and was plating everything when he heard his father come into the room. Giving a smile in greeting he set the plates down on the table before pouring them both drinks, settling down in his own chair. “Glad you like it.” Thane replied. Happy that his father enjoyed what he had cooked though he couldn’t remember a time that the older man didn’t.

 

He was also aware of the fact that if he didn’t cook then chances were they would be eating a lot less healthy. That was truly something he couldn’t accept. Noticing the frown that crossed his father’s face as he turned back to his vegetables made him laugh softly. It was amusing to be honest, that even at the other’s age he would give them the same look many people his own age did. At the question of how school was going he didn’t answer right away, thinking over how he wanted to answer the question. Deciding to skip over how his mind had not been in it today he just decided to go over how things have been going lately. “Overall though it’s going well. My grades are still going strong.” Summer was not that far away, meaning college really wasn’t that far away either. As much as he hated to admit it he really didn’t want to leave. Doing so meant he wasn’t going to see the older man nearly as much and that was a painful thought.

 

As he finished eating his dinner a thought struck him. The weekend was literally just a couple days away, and the weather was supposed to be nice. He figured they could do something instead of just spending it in the house like they normally did. With that thought in mind he spoke, “You know, we have a nice weekend coming up. Maybe we can go on a camping trip or something?” He said with a questioning look. It had been awhile since they had spent time with each other away from the house, he had been busy with a lot of school work. He had a break in his school work, but Thane knew it was going to get rough again in a month for his finals. That was going to be a stressful time, and he wanted to have fun and spend time with his father while he could. Standing up he grabbed the empty dishes and took them over to the sink to start washing them before he turned back to the other man. “How was your day?” He asked a little curious.

 

As he stood there he watched the older man with gentle eyes. It was hard for him to ignore what he wanted when he was constantly faced with it. Clearing his throat in an attempt to make sure that he didn’t notice the way Thane’s eyes had been looking him over. The more he spent time in the same room, the more he wanted to be seen as more than just a son. There had to be some way he could convince his father to see him as more, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it. It wasn’t like he could just come out and say it. Not after their talk a few years ago when he had been far more open with his feelings. "It would be fun for us to spend some time together outside of the house." Thane added with a smile. He doubted he would be denied a simple weekend trip together. His mind already going over all of the ways he might be able to get what he wanted if they did go on a trip together.

[EvenEcho]

Hearing about how accomplished his son was made John feel like perhaps he did this 'parenting' thing right. Perhaps it was time to relinquish the power of being the parent and be what he wanted; the lover, companion, partner. He ate his food, which was honestly as delicious as it always was, and he knew that Thane knew that he loved his cooking. John stopped eating for a second when his son mentioned going out for the weekend. He had heard that the weekend was shaping up to be very nice. Perhaps a trip away from the house was just what they needed.

 

"That sounds nice. And you would like to go camping? I will make sure the tent's in the right condition," he realized he had only mentioned one tent, but families went camping and they all slept together in one large tent, there was no reason to worry about having a second tent, unless of course Thane would prefer to have his own tent. The thought made him a little sad, but he ignored it. He could feel eyes on him, but ignored it. Suddenly his son cleared his throat and he knew, with his own small smile, that Thane hadn't wanted to get 'caught' staring at him.

 

He had things to do and he was making a list as he finished his own dinner. He stood up and took the plates. "I'll wash the dishes, why don't you go relax, you work so hard. Thank you for everything you do for me," he said as he took the plates and silverware to the kitchen and to the sink. He set the dishes up to the side and started the water. Now that he was busy with his hands, he could think more clearly. He always came up with the best ideas while working or doing something.

 

This camping trip will be the perfect time, he thought as he finished washing the last plate and pot. He didn't know exactly how to approach his son, he hadn't done anything slightly romantic for so long, not since his wife and when she passed Thane became his entire world. He finished the dishes and dried his hands on the towel hanging over the oven. "Thane? Are you in your room?" He called walking up the stairs and towards his son's room. He knocked on the door. There were plenty of other places Thane could have wandered off to, but to him, it made the most sense for his boy to go to his room.

[Sathenus]

Realizing that only one tent was referred to as far as their camping made him feel more excited for the trip than it probably should. He had just gotten up to gather the dishes and get them done when he was told that the older man would do them and to go relax. “I enjoy making your life a little easier.” He replied upon receiving the thanks. It really hadn’t been necessary because he truly did enjoy doing things around the house and cooking for his father. Maybe not all kids did, maybe not all son’s did, but it was one of few ways he could continue to show his love without worrying that his behavior was wrong.

 

Despite that he left the dinning room and grabbed his backpack from near the front door. Turning towards the stair he went up to his room unpacking his books and notebooks to get started on a paper that was due Friday. Flipping his book to the right page he relaxed back against his chair, taking notes as he went as to what he wanted to include in his paper. It was probably a half an hour or so before he heard his name being called only to be asked if he was in his room. “Yes!” he called back turning to his slightly ajar bedroom door to see his father pushing it open. Setting his pencil down he turned to face him better in his chair, “Just getting started on a paper. You know I can’t wait until the last minute.” Than said with a small smile. Then he decided to comment on their camping trip, “I figured we could go to that old campground we went to when I was little. We haven’t been there since I started middle school.”

 

Personally, Thane didn’t understand why the campground was virtually unused ninety percent of the time. He thought it was the perfect place to camp, it was quiet and secluded. To make things better they had so many good memories there that it only seemed natural to go back. Now that his mind was back in the trip it was going to be hard for him to get it back to his paper. Pushing this thoughts aside he looked up at his father with slightly curious eyes wondering if he had needed something.

 

It wasn’t like he was truly be disturbed or anything, but it did make himself wonder what he wanted. Granted now that he was here and relaxing in his chair his mind wandered to how he still needed to get in the shower before he went to bed. It seemed like a trivial matter but it was still one that managed to break through his thoughts.

 

 

(Typed this up on my phone so I apologise ahead of time for any mistakes.)

[EvenEcho]

John had opened the door just enough to peek through and then pushed half of his body through the door. There Thane was, sitting at his desk doing his report. He was right, Thane couldn't wait until the last minute, he wasn't the procrastinator that his father was but the workaholic his mother had been. He nodded, he agreed. That campground contained lots of good memories for them and it was private, perfect for what he would like to do (now only if we could hope his upbringing wouldn't hold him back).

 

"That's a great idea, I do love that campground," he commented sweetly. "Can I sit?" He said pointing to the bed. He wondered when he started to get so lost in his head. He felt like only yesterday his son was in middle school begging for affection, and now he was an adult, ready to leave, ready to go out and pave his own way, to make a name for himself in this world. It was exciting and heartbreaking at the same time. John walked into the room fully. "Thane, I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you and how much I love you. You are the best son anyone could ever ask for, I feel so blessed to have had the pleasure to raise you," he felt so cheesy. Wow, if his father had only told him something like that, but then he was very glad his father didn't admire him in the way he admired Thane, and he sure as hell didn't like his father as Thane used to, or perhaps still did, like him.

 

"I'll leave you now, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'm glad you thought of the camping trip though, I want to spend some time with you before you go out into the world," he motioned vaguely with his hand before kissing Thane's forehead. "Goodnight, and have sweet dreams, alright?" He smiled and left, closing the door gently behind him. He went down to their garage to make sure they did have the tent at least. He pulled it out and set it up with the boxes of camping gear packed away in a pristine and orderly manner. He could check it tomorrow and set it up. He didn't want to go all the way out into the campground only to realize their tent was damaged or something just as bad. He went back into the house and sat back down in his chair. He turned off the ceiling lights and pulled the chain to turn on his lamp. He sat back in his recliner and read his book. God, he was getting so old. He was practically ancient or at least he acted like it. He smiled to himself, his thoughts were quite amusing.

 

Although the next day was only a day closer to getting out of the city with Thane, John didn't want to take a shower or go to work. He just wanted to read and sleep, spend time with Thane, and eat delicious food. He really was getting old. He realized it was getting late, far too late for him to stay up if he wanted to get to work on time. He put his book down and put the footrest of his recliner down. He was up, on his way to say goodnight to Thane and then it was off to take a shower and then bed unless Thane was taking a shower, then he would take one in the morning so he had some hot water. Their water heater wasn't the best and even though John could replace it, they didn't have enough money to buy a new one seeing as they were hundreds of dollars. It was okay, they could live with not having a ton of hot water, but not buying a new one gave them extra money to spend on things they wanted.

 

(It's fine. I understand. I'm not on mobile right now, but I know the feeling.)

[Sathenus]

Thane gave his father a small smile when he was asked if the older man could sit, "Of course you can." He replied finding it a rather silly question. Why would he ever turn the other man away? Even in the extremely rare occasions they had an argument or disagreement he would never turn him away. Listening as he was told how proud his father was and how much he loved him he couldn't help but feel something stir deep inside of him. For as long as he could remember he had fought constantly to hear those words. And even though he wanted to tell himself that it was just a Father's love he couldn't help but want more. When it came down to things Thane truly didn't understand why he was constantly being denied the love he was so desperately fighting for.

 

As his mind wandered down that path it told him about all of the other people in the world who had such relationships. Though yes, in this day and age it was definitely not accepted it was something he wanted. If they could be happy then why did it matter what other people thought? Thane did figure that it was probably because he was so young and a lot of people in his generation felt similarly. As long as someone was happy it shouldn't matter what anyone else thought, but he knew for his father who great up in a different generation things weren't that simple. By how the older man had rejected him a few years earlier he knew that he wasn't raosed with such an open mind. It didn't mean that he didn't hope with him as a son that he couldn't see it.

 

Drawn from his thoughts when he saw the other man get up from the bed he gave him a genuine smile. "I want to soon as much time with you as I can before I leave." It was true. Thank wanted nothing more than to spend as much time with his father as he could before leaving for college knowing the distance would be torturous.at one point he had considered doing his classes online so he could stay at home. But he realized that if he didn't stand a chance in having a more romantic relationship with his father it would be for the best if he moved out and went his own way. Knowing that was literally the only chance he had at having even a remote chance of having a normal relationship.

 

As John approached him and pressed a kiss to his forehead he couldn't help but laugh softly, "Goodnight, Dad." He replied watching the older man leave before turning back to his paper. Like he had though his mind wasn't able to focus after their short talk. Any extended period spent with the older man did this to him, and it was always hard to get him back on track. After a few more failed attempts to get his mind back on his paper he decided to take a shower.

 

Thane kept it a bit on the cooler side knowing when he took a hot shower it meant little if any was left for his father to do the same. In warmer weather he preferred a cooler shower anyways. After his shower he returned to his room with just a towel around his waist. Drying himself off he pulled on a pair of boxers and settled himself down on his bed pulling a book towards him to read for a little while before he'd go to bed. A few minutes later he closed the book having finished the chapter and laid down to go to bed. He had to get up for school in the morning and needed the sleep if he was going to be able to focus on his work.

[EvenEcho]

The next day went slow. John woke up, took a shower, got dressed and went to work after he wished Thane a good day at school. The next day and the day after that went similarly. The days dragged on, when he got home, it went by so fast. It was as if he hadn't had a break at all. He was desperately ready for the little get away by this point. He had checked the tent over several time to make sure it was in full working order as well as replacing all the batteries in the flashlights and getting everything packed up in backpacks for them to take. He even bought a bag of ice and put it in the freezer so they could put it in an ice chest and have nice, cool drinks during the hottest part of the day.

 

Finally, the weekend came. "Are you ready?" John called, loading all their supplies into his truck. He had a large truck, rather a very masculine truck and it was black with a sticker on the back that had a 'proud father of an honor student' written on it. John had dressed comfortable in a tank-top and a pair of jeans along with his boots. He didn't want to go walking around without his boots on no matter the temperature. He knew they would need to stop for gas and beef jerky, as it was John favourite vacation and road-trip snack, and then whatever Thane decided he wanted. John was muscular, but in a toned and lean way, he was no body builder but he was still a strong man and he carried the larger boxes while he let Thane do whatever he was busy doing inside the house.

 

John would never admit to being so excited, but he was giddy. He turned the car on to get the AC going and cool down the car, he then went to grab the ice chest and put it in the back seat. He set it on the floorboards so it wouldn't slide around and spill water, soda and the few beers (grabbed mostly out of habit, he didn't even really like the taste, he drank them and didn't know why). John walked inside the house, sweaty and smelling metallic. "Hey, Thane? Come on, let's go. We got to stop at the gas station to get gas and snacks," he was honestly far too ready to get going. He wanted to go back out into nature for a bit, no matter how hot it was, and set up a nice, cozy, little camp just for him and his son. All would be right, and it really did feel like that; like everything was going to end up 'right' in the end. In his giddiness, the thoughts of Thane leaving him behind to live his own life were pushed to the back of his mind and nearly forgotten but still lingering only to remind him cruelly of what was bound to happen. He grabbed his sunglasses off of the table by the door and put them on before walking outside and getting in the car. He turned up the radio and turned up 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' by the Rolling Stones. He had heard that his favourite bands were 'old man' music and he couldn't be happier to heard it.

[Sathenus]

Waking up the next morning Thane got himself ready for another boring day at school. The next few days passed the same way as the rest of the week, he went from class to class, turned in everything on time (usually having finished them days in advance), and made sure his grades were kept up. With nothing but the weekend stretching out before them Thane found himself more than excited for their camping trip, but he still had a few things that he had to get done before they could head out. Hearing his father call to him and ask him if he was ready he responded with an “almost” before returning to his backpack and clothes he was packing. Thane had double checked, then triple checked what clothes he had packed. Determined to wear things that would bring more attention to his body without making it quite so obvious what he was doing.

 

By the time he was called for again he had just slung his backpack over his shoulder and was glancing around his room to make sure that he did not miss anything. “Coming!” He called down the stairs before he left his room, closing the door behind him. He had dressed in just a pair of shorts, a tank top that he felt clung to his form in just the right way and some tennis shoes. Even though he knew his father was in his boots which only made him smile at the thought. Walking down the stairs he moved towards the car, he could hear what the other had put on the radio making him laugh softly and shake his head. Tossing his backpack in with the rest of the things he got into the vehicle and turned towards his father as he buckled up.

 

Looking him over a small smirk crossed his face, “Someone looks more like they are ready to cause some trouble then go camping.” He commented. Even if he knew that wasn’t the case he could honestly see it more as his father prepared to go around town doing stupid petty things that would get him into trouble. It was already quite hot outside, one of many reasons why he kept his window rolled down as they finally set off for the gas station to get some gas and snacks for the drive to the campground. When they did make it he hopped out of the truck and followed his father into the store noticing how his father instantly had eyes for the jerky. It was so predictable, and one of many things that he honestly loved about the other man. Simple things like this that he could always count on. Even if no one else appreciated it as much as he did that was fine. Walking along the small isles he tried to decide on something he would want to snack on for the trip. After looking around for a few minutes he finally decided on a small bag of spicy chips, something he occasionally enjoyed and he figured now was a good time to indulge in it as well.

 

It wasn’t long before they were back on the road, sitting in his seat and munching absently on his chips, gaze out the window. The wind felt great as they drove, and he was so happy to be heading out on this trip that he didn’t once complain about what his father had playing on the radio. Normally he would have made halfhearted complaints or teased him, but he was too excited and happy to truly care right now. Despite not having really been on the road for that long Thane’s excitement got the best of him, “Are we there yet?” He asked. He was sure that his tone and the looked he gave the older man made it clear just how excited he was to be spending the weekend out of the house and as just the two of them. There was literally no distractions, no one to draw the other’s attention anyway, and he couldn’t be any happier.

[EvenEcho]

John had his jerky and his music. His son was being eerily quiet but then he suddenly asked in a rather childish manner 'are we there yet?' and he had to give a soft laugh. He nodded and turned the music down just a bit. "Yeah, we're almost there," he let him know. There were tall bumps that every time they drove up one and then down it made him a little dizzy. He managed to stay driving normally despite the dizziness that hit him. Soon enough they were at the campground and John parked the truck before hopping out and stretching his arms. He had been cramped up in his truck for hours, he was so glad to do something like set up a tent or make a firepit. He started by looking at the sky and then down at his phone. When he was a child they never had phones so his father would look to the sky and tell him how long they had before sundown, but he realized he did have a cell on him. It was already 3 o'clock? Wow, that went faster than expected.

 

"I'm going to get the tent out, would you put stones around the firepit so we can safely start a fire?" He climbed up the back of his truck and grabbed the tent in its bag out. He opened the bag and started to fiddle around with the tent. For a moment, a long moment, he forgot how to set up the tent, but he quickly gathered himself and started to put the tent up. He hadn't realized he had stared at Thane only to quickly block it out, his mind claiming it a 'sinful desire to be avoided'. He finished putting the tent up in twenty minutes and he hammed the stakes into the ground to keep the tent attached to the ground.

 

Not consciously, but subconsciously, he would sneak looks at Thane who honestly looked so cute. He couldn't yet describe him a handsome because he had always been cute to him. Perhaps that would change after the trip. John got the ice chest out and then tossed the blankets and pillows into the tent before zipping up the entrance flap. He got out two fold-able chairs and set them up right by the fire. He wondered how to approach such a touchy subject. He remembered clearly when he had rejected his son the first time, how completely devastated he looked, how sad he had been; it was a horrible memory and he was scared that it would happen again because of his own internal prejudice he was inflicting on his son. Fathers did everything in their power to make sure their son was happy, but he hadn't done that. Was Thane truly happy? Was it right to strip him of all 'normal' relationships just because he was selfish?

 

Taking a seat, John crossed his arms and watched Thane. They could have smores, they were the best and when Thane was young, he would get marshmallow all over his little cheeks, at the time they had a little baby fat on them making them puffy. He had never thought that when his wife birthed their son, he would be having lustful and romantic desires for him when he matured. He knew that his son was eager, he had always seemed a little put off to John after middle school and it hurt to know that he had changed him and it clearly wasn't for the best. He sighed and forced a smile on for his son. He wasn't going to bother him with his own issues, this was probably their last time together, he wanted it to mean something.

 

It got too hot too soon and finally the shirt came off. John was tempted to sling the sweaty shirt to the ground but at the same time he didn't want it to get dirt and stuff all over it. He sat forward and hung his shirt over the edge of the chair. He sat back and watched as the sun before him shimmered due to the heat waves in the air. It was actually sort of trippy. Reminded him of his teenage years when he was a rather 'bad' child. It was the nineties after all and they had a hippie revival plus the grunge movement, so he was a rather wild child one could say. He was so glad his son never went down the same path as him.

[Sathenus]

Pleased to hear that they were almost there, and hence close to being able to get out of the truck made him shift in his seat. Turning his gaze back to his father he flashed him a smile once they got there before slipping out of the truck. “On it.” He commented as he gathered large stones to put around the fire pit. It wasn’t long before he had the pit surrounded by rocks so they could safely have a fire later that night. It was far too hot to light a fire now, so instead he just put the wood in place so all they would have to do is light it later. While he was doing that he was not unaware of the fact that he had his father’s attention for a little while, or the glances that he received from the older man. Still, he felt like there was no point in bringing any attention to it, figuring he was just making sure he was doing alright and not getting hurt or something.

 

In the corner of his eyes he noticed that his father had settled in his chair, arms crossing over his chest and watching him. Standing up straighter he watched him for a moment himself. Giving a small encouraging smile, he spoke, “What’s on your mind, Dad?” He could tell by the way that the older man was watching him that he had something on his mind. It was a moment after he had faced his father completely that he noticed the older man remove his shirt and drape it over the side of his chair. That made Thane’s eyes widen slightly, swallowing thickly he tried to keep his gaze off his father’s body. It was hard though when all he wanted to do was look and touch something he knew he couldn’t do.

 

Moving over to his seat Thane settled down in his chair and turned back to the other man. “The lake is nearby, want to go for a swim? You seem pretty hot.” Alright, so that last part hard double meaning to it. Which he kind of hoped his father would catch onto while at the same time hoping he wouldn’t get reprimanded for it. He was old enough to try this again after all, right? Thane truly hoped so, even if it had just been a few years since he had been rejected the first time surely he could try again. Maybe now that he was older he stood a chance, at least he desperately hoped so. A swim would be good for both, and he hoped it meant he would be able to see more of his father’s body. He knew of course that he was going to show off even more of his body if the older man agreed.

 

Worst case scenario his father could refuse, in which case Thane would just go swimming alone to cool down. After a moment he pushed himself up from his chair and shed his own shirt, shedding his shoes and socks a moment later. Their camp was close enough to the lake that he didn’t feel like his shoes were needed to make it to the beach. Without even thinking he reached down and started to remove his shorts not caring that he was standing a few feet from the older man. Within seconds he was standing in just his boxers, turning his back to his father he glanced towards him over his shoulder. Flashing a smile he spoke, “Join me whenever. I’m going to go cool off.” Without waiting for a response he walked towards the lake, being careful to make sure he drew out certain motions. Surely he’d be able to be more blunt with what he wanted the more comfortable the both got here.

[EvenEcho]

There was a bit of an inner conflict happening. Did he join his son, knowing he would be tempted, or did he stay behind and sweat to death in the unbearable heat? He decided that just looking wasn't too terrible, and they shouldn't be punished for their thoughts. They, as in him too because he definitely liked what he saw when Thane had stripped out of his outfit. He stripped his pants and boots, although he was wary about leaving them, and made his way to the lake. He stepped in. There was such a temperature difference it was hard for his brain to recognize the cold as good or bad.

 

John saw Thane and licked his lips, he was so utterly beautiful, he wanted to touch, to caress the skin that looked so soft and warm, but not in a bad way. He was sure once he was under the water, Thane's warmth would be wonderful. He continued to walk into the water until he was almost completely submerged. He had to admit, that Thane looked beautiful in the water. He dove under the water and resurfaced. He pushed his hair out of his eyes as it got wet and hung limply, obscuring his vision. He looked back at Thane for a moment before swimming further into the center of the lake. "Come here, we'll race back to the camp and get something to drink," he offered. He could really use a cold one right about then. He swam idly, waiting for Thane to join him in the center of the lake. Eventually he made his way to the shore before shaking his hair dry and walking up to grab himself a beer.

 

He should share a beer with his son, his father had tried that with him when he was teen, that's like man stuff, father-son stuff. Sharing beers and going camping. It's like the most father-son thing in the world, it was universally known and accepted to do such things with one's son. So, he waited for Thane to join him. He was starting to dry off again due to the heat. He didn't even need a towel and he stayed cool while he waited in the sun. And while John didn't really feel like sharing a beer with Thane as opposed to ravishing him and then telling him how sorry he was for it, because he couldn't take away the possibility for him to find someone and be happy with them, truly happy -- happier than he was sure Thane would be with him -- and hopefully not related to him. It wasn't as if there was the possibility for deformed children, but it was still odd and socially unacceptable; it was still considered taboo.

[Sathenus]

The moment his foot hit the water a shiver raked down his spine, it was in a good way though as he wadded further into the lake. Thane stopped only when the water was up to his waist taking in a shaky breath and letting it out in a pleased hum. It felt great against his hot skin. Reaching down he scooped up some of the water in his hand and casually splashed it along both arms followed by his shoulders to get his back and chest without plunging suddenly into the lakes depths and shocking his body even more. Glancing back towards the shore when he heard the telltale signs of his father joining him. A small smile crossed his face watching the older man enter the lake. Of course, it struck Thane as he focused once more on himself that if he had any hope of getting through this weekend without returning so burnt that he would look like a lobster then he would have to put on sunblock upon their return to camp. Something that up until this point had completely slipped his mind. Tough now that it was on his mind he couldn't help but think about how he'd have to ask for some help with his back. That thought alone brought a smile to his face.

 

His mind wandered as he stood there gazing into the water and feeling his body relax even more as the water seemed to gradually feel warmer letting him know that his body was finally getting used to the temperature. It was then he heard his father’s voice calling to him to come here. Looking up his eyes scanned to see where he was. Finding that he had swam out to the middle of the small lake and was calling for him to join him so they could race back to camp and get a drink. Rolling his eyes, he laughed softly to himself before he swam over to where the older man was. “Alright, I’m ready.” He said once he reached him and turned around to face the shore once more. It didn’t matter to Thane that his father made it back to shore and camp before him, in fact he was just enjoying having fun with him and spending time together. When he did finally make it back to camp he noticed that the water that had been dripping off his father was already drying. In fact, his damp hair and boxers were really the only proof that he had been in the lake a few minutes before.

 

Stretching his body he went over to the tent unzipping the flap he grabbed his bag and started digging around in it. Finding the sunblock he tossed his bag back into the tent and zipped it shut once more. At this point he turned towards his father and spoke in a questioning tone. “Dad?” Waiting to make sure he had his attention he held the sunblock up, “I’m pretty sure there is nothing wrong with a son asking his dad to help him put some on his back, right?” He questioned. It was an honest question. At this point Thane truly didn’t know what he could and could not ask from the older man without being rejected once more. This was one way to get his father closer to him, but it was also an innocent question. Well, as innocent as it could be for him anyways. “I just don’t want to return from this trip all burned. You know, with the next week dedicated to studying for finals and all.” He commented trying to make sure that his father didn’t catch on to any other reason why he may be asking for the help.

 

A drink with the older man could wait a little while longer. It came down to the fact that his insistence was really just an excuse to be able to feel his father’s hands on his body without feeling like he was going to be told once more that his behavior was wrong. It bothered him that he had to go around finding innocent reasons like this and turn them into something they weren’t just to feel close to the other man. But, it was better than being rejected again. In fact, now that he was an adult with college literally around the corner he felt like if he stepped too far out of line or showed to much love that he’d be sent away sooner. That was something he just couldn’t bear. So, he’d have to continue to use simple things like putting no sunblock to get closer to his father.

[EvenEcho]

Seeing nothing wrong with helping his son put sunscreen on, John took the bottle of sunscreen and slathered it over his hands before moving behind his son to apply the sunscreen. His skin was truly as smooth as it looked, as flawless. After rubbing the white sunscreen into tan skin, John's hands lingered for a second before he pulled them away. "You good?" He asked with a smile before slathering himself with sunscreen as well. He didn't worry much about his back, but he thought that perhaps he should, just in case. "Can you help with my back?" He extended his arm with the bottle of sunscreen in his hand. "Good thinking on bringing that, I spaced it we would have been red and peeling," he shivered, he hated sunburns. He knew people said child birth was rough but a sunburn just seemed so much more painful and uncomfortable. John did open the ice chest to grab a beer. He twisted off the cap with minimal cuts to his hand due to the rough edges (one would think the twist offs weren't so hard on one's hands).

 

The sun was still hot, but at least it was starting to descend from the sky, the beginning of the star's trip past the horizon. It was actually quite beautiful to look at and it was relieving to know that the blazing heat would soon cool down to at least a normal heat, or something bearable. By this time, John's boxers were just damp as opposed to wet like they had been when he first exited the lake. His hair was almost completely dry. Oh, how life in the hottest part of the country was. It was uncomfortable, his boxers sticking to his skin slightly. He shifted around to get comfortable, he wanted to be comfortable. He looked up to Thane and wondered how he could compliment him. Their dynamic was a little different than most fathers and sons, and had been since Thane was in middle school.

 

"Let's get dinner cookin; we have hotdogs and hamburgers," he brought out the top piece of the grill from their actual gas-grill in their backyard and set it on his chair. He started the fire and made a little oven-like thing and on top of the flames sat the grill. He watched as the flames licked the metal of the grill and crackled, sending little embers into the air. It was actually quite entrancing, he could really stare into fires forever. A fire was like a cloud, one could see all sorts of things just by using a little imagination. John got out the hotdogs and hamburger patties, already shaped and wrapped in foil, before he waited for the coals to get to the perfect degree. Once the fire had died down from the roaring inferno it had been when he first lit it, he put the hamburgers on the grill and then the hotdogs. He only had two hamburger patties, but they were pretty large compared to the normal patties one could get at the store or a McDonald's. Soon the hamburgers were sizzling and delicious goodness like juice and fat were dripping into the fire only making the flames burst up every now and then and scorch the meat. John sat back in his chair and offered Thane the rest of his beer.

 

"Come on, take it. Consider it a family tradition or something similar anyway. You're practically an adult," and Thane had been an adult since he was fourteen basically, he had really stepped up once his mother had died, which pained John knowing that his son was forced to grow up so fast, but he wouldn't change his current son for any other. Thane was perfect.

[Sathenus]

Pleased when the bottle was taken from him, Thane turned so his back was to his father. It wasn’t long before he felt the other’s hands on his back rubbing the sunscreen in. He found himself enjoying that simple touch more than he should, and before long it was gone. Far sooner that he had wanted. Still when he was asked if that was good he nodded, putting some on his own hands to get his arms, shoulders neck and chest. He didn’t want to take any chance of getting burnt and having to suffer for who knew how long before it started peeling. That was something that Thane truly felt was gross and made his stomach churn, even if it was natural to do after get a sunburn. When asked if he could help with his father’s back he agreed taking the bottle as it was held out to him and putting some on his hands. A moment later he was rubbing it into the older man’s back. Finding himself getting lost in the feeling of the muscles hiding beneath the skin. He hadn’t realized that his hands were just resting there until he suddenly snapped out of his thoughts in which case he hastily removed them and gave a rather shy smile. “All done.”

 

Thane settled himself in his chair after leaning back he had a soda resting beside his chair and a book in his hand. His lap was still damp so under no circumstances was he about to put his book there and allow it to get wet. He had too much of a love of books to allow that to happen. Not sure how much time had passed before he heard his father speak saying they should get dinner cooking. “Alright.” He replied marking his page and setting the book down on a nearby stump before he got up to help get dinner going. By this point his hair was practically dry, being damp in only a couple of spots where his hair was the thickest, his boxers were just about the same way. He didn’t even care that the water had made them cling to his body much tighter than they normally did. It just seemed like a natural way to try to draw more attention to himself without it being obvious since it really was unavoidable. As dinner was cooking he resettled in his chair and once more took up his book. Though he was suddenly stunned when he noticed his father holding out the rest of his beer to him only to be encouraged to take it.

 

“Thanks.” He replied trying to hide his surprise. It wasn’t like it was something he should be surprised about. A lot of fathers and sons shared a beer when camping, it was literally the American thing to do. So he shrugged and took a sip. Though the taste wasn’t really something he enjoyed, the sentiment of the offer was what really mattered. Glancing towards the older man he childishly stuck his tongue out at him, “How can you drink this so often?” He finally questioned. It wasn’t the worst thing he had ever drank, but it was not something he’d make a habit of doing either. After a few more sips he started to feel a warm fuzzy feeling that seemed to spread from his chest, it wasn’t completely uncomfortable but it was a new feeling for sure.

 

After a little while he set his book aside, by this point with the warmth of the day and the heat of the fire he was completely dry. “What do you want to do tomorrow? We have the whole day to enjoy the campsite.” He questioned wanting to hear what his father wanted to do.

[EvenEcho]

"Thanks," he was referring to the sunscreen being rubbed into his skin. He had felt the hands on his back for an extra second and he had to admit they felt good. He started to picture things that Thane could do with those soft and delicate hands that he could only think were 'unsavory' when he desired it so deeply. He ignored his feelings and continued on as if nothing had happened. He was still fighting with himself, an eternal internal battle that seemed to constantly rage. With a hearty chuckle, John smiled at his son. Of course he didn't like beer, who did? It wasn't meant to be like, it was just something one did. Hell, John didn't like beer, it was acrid but he drank it anyway. "I don't taste it, drinking is just a habit," he offers quietly almost ashamed that he had such a habit. It wasn't healthy and it was definitely bad to have a habit of doing something he didn't even like doing.

 

The burgers sizzled before John flipped them, making them sizzle even more. He then set the spatula down before relaxing back against his chair once again. He thought about all the things they could do. "Well I wouldn't mind swimming again, that was fun," he offered before he looked around, "we could blare the music, nobody is hear to complain about it, and we could just relax. I like relaxing, perhaps we could just... I don't know. I just want to spend some time with you before you leave. What would you like to do? You're the one who's about to depart for the journey to Mordor, basically," he smirked at his own reference, oh, he thought he was so clever. He didn't know what he wanted to do, he would love to swim. He told himself it was because it was hot outside and it would cool them off but he also wanted to take in the sight of Thane. He really did love his music and he wouldn't mind cranking the volume all the way up and just sitting by the fire relaxing. He was an old man, or at least he was on his way to being old. He wouldn't mind wrapping his arms around Thane and just hoping his didn't leave, because that selfish part inside of him wanted to keep him with him, but the father, the part that wanted his son to succeed and live his life, was forcing him to let Thane go, to let him pave his own path (what if he needed help paving that path though?).

 

None of this was appropriate to say aloud of course but John wanted to let Thane know how much he cared for him, his romantic feelings, all these confusing things. He wanted to let Thane know that he wasn't alone, that he loved him too in a way that father's shouldn't love their sons. He felt sick thinking about all the things he wanted to do with Thane, to Thane because he would have gotten a harsh beating on the bottom for thinking that sort of stuff if his father was still around or if it had been his brother or something like that. When Harold, John's father, found that book about the two brothers falling in love that he had been obsessed with as a young teenager, he had a harsh punishment and a three hour lecture before he was sent to church.

[Sathenus]

Hearing the response towards the beer made him curiously glance at his father and raise an eyebrow. He was about to ask why he would drink it then when that was answered being told it was a habit. “Can’t you get a new habit? Like chewing gum or something?” He asked though he figured it wasn’t that easy. Watching as the burgers were turned and the hotdogs resituated he felt his mind wandering once more. What was it going to take for him to be able to convince his father that having more than a father son relationship with him wasn’t a bad thing? He figured it was going to take a lot, considering how his father was raised. Hell, he knew a lot of people still wouldn’t accept it, but who had to know? To anyone else they could just be a father and son, no one outside of them had to know that there was more going on. Even if that wasn’t entirely the relationship he wanted, he would take it if that was the only things his father was willing to give him.

 

Clearing his throat to make sure he had his father’s attention instead of commenting on what the other man said he wanted to do or answering the question of what he wanted to do he prepared to say something else. Even if it meant the rest of the camping trip was uncomfortable, even if he was shot down again he had to know for sure before he left. Thane knew that if he left and missed his last chance he would constantly regret not knowing if there was even remotely a chance of him having what he wanted. “Dad?” He asked despite knowing he had the other’s attention. Taking in a slow and deep breath he let it out in a somewhat shaky sigh before meeting his father’s gaze. “Be honest with me, one hundred percent. We both know… that when I was younger I fought for your attention because I wanted more from you. We had this huge talk about how my behavior was wrong so I tried my best to back off.” Pausing he didn’t let his gaze falter despite how nervous he felt.

 

“Even though I didn’t act on my feelings anymore they were still there. But… I was afraid you’d be mad if I showed even a hint that I still felt that way towards you after our talk.” He paused again. This was a lot hard than he thought and he felt the ache begin to form so he shifted as if preparing himself for the worst possible response. “We both know I’ll be leaving for college in a few months… I… I can’t leave without being positive that you’ll never return those feelings. I don’t want to move out and go to school constantly wondering if there was some small chance… some miracle that you might be able to overlook the fact that I’m your son.” Falling silent for a moment he realized there was another thing he had to say, “Or… love the fact that I’m your son and want this…” he trailed off. Honestly, he didn’t even know if he made any sense in all of that, or if he even got out an actual question but it had to be said.

 

There it was in the open, there was no hiding it now, but he needed to know. Even if it meant spending the rest of this trip in awkward silence and knowing the man that raised him, the man who helped create him didn’t return the same feelings. He could live with it, even if it would hurt, just as long as he knew for sure.

[EvenEcho]

Listening to his son, thinking of a response that wouldn't hurt him. "One hundred percent honest," he had said, but if his honesty was going to keep his son from going to college then he couldn't tell him the truth, could he? John cleared his throat. "Thane, I'm going to be honest with you, but I don't want you to stop your future because of me. I love you, and perhaps I love you more than a father should love his son, but if we were to be anything besides what we are now, you will miss out on so much of your life, and I don't want to see you resent me because of my own desire. Do you understand? I want the best for you and I don't think that I am the best for you. I want you to find a cute boy or something and be happy, get an education, have a family of your own, and you can't have any of that with me... well you can still get an education but that's not the point. The point is that I would be depriving you of your life because I am selfish. For the past year I have been fighting myself trying to come to terms with the fact that I love you romantically, and I still haven't but I know that I do I'm just too nervous to accept it because if I do then I am..." he paused and sighed, reaching up to hold the bridge of his nose. "I'm so sorry."

 

Flipping the burgers once more before letting them sizzle for another minute. He took them off the grill, along with the hot dogs, and put them on a paper plate. He set the plate on the ice chest. "Well, dinner's ready," said with a smile, a hurt and broken smile. He had possibly just ruined his son's life all because he was selfish and sick and a horrible father. He wanted to cry; he wasn't retaining tears trying not to cry for himself, but for Thane because he had just given him the worst thing to give someone: hope. A sliver of something that he wasn't sure could ever happen.

 

"You get yourself something to eat, I'm going to go turn on some music, alright?" He forced another smile on his face. It was as if he was trying to convince Thane he was okay, because if his son thought it, perhaps he could convince himself that he was fine too. He turned on his CD and the first song that started playing was a love song. He groaned and turned the song to "Beast of Burden" he once again skipped it. After going through his entire playlist, he decided he wasn't feeling it and went back to his seat. "Nevermind."

[Sathenus]

Thane listened as his father spoke, he was stunned. Mainly he was stunned because he didn’t understand why his father thought that he would be ruining his life or that he was being selfish. “Dad…” he murmured feeling his heart swell happy to finally hear what he had been craving for so long. “You could never ruin my life, and you aren’t being selfish.” He admitted shaking his head. Why did he have to think that loving him as more than a son or having these desires towards him was selfish? Honestly, Thane couldn’t have been happier in that moment. He had finally heard what he had wanted to hear since he first started fighting for his father’s attention and he knew he couldn’t let this chance slip away from him. He’d regret that even more than if he had never asked. Taking in a deep breath and making sure that his look showed a sense of understanding but also how happy he was with the news he sighed before speaking. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re being selfish. I’ve wanted to hear you tell me that for so long. And… you won’t ruin my life. But… let’s face it. I don’t want to find some cute guy and start a family of my own. I want to be here, with you. You make me happy.”

 

Watching as the burgers were flipped once more before being taken off the fire he noticed the change in the older man. He had to do something, say something that would extinguish whatever fears his father had. “I’m still going to go to school… but… I would love to be able to come home to you after. Come home to you for the holidays and breaks. I also don’t want apologizes either. I love you, and I don’t want to feel guilty for loving you. But… if you seem to feel like you’re ruining my life or that you are holding me back then it’s going to make me feel guilty for loving you.” He was honest. There was no holding it back, if he had any chance of having the relationship he wanted with his father then he had to be completely honest. He didn’t want to go the rest of his life feeling guilty for the feelings he had about the man before him. The only way to do that was to make sure that his father wasn’t going to feel guilty for loving him or think that he was ruining his life in some way.

 

Being told to get himself something to eat that his father was going to turn some music on he nodded. Having just finished grabbing himself a hotdog to start with before he heard the first song to come on. He felt himself blushing slightly hearing that it was a love song, the next one to come on wasn’t much better. When his father did return it was clear that there would be no music playing after all. ’Okay… maybe now hadn’t been the best time to force this conversation.’ Thane thought to himself giving his father a somewhat apologetic look not wanting him to feel like he had done this to make things hard. He had just wanted everything out in the open.

 

After a moment of silence had passed between them he spoke his voice was soft, "I love you... so much. I just... if you decide that returning those feelings aren't possible I'll understand." He wanted to say that as well. The last thing he wanted was for his father to feel like he had to return his feelings. Even if the other man had admitted in sense that he felt the same way the last thing he wanted was for him to feel like now he had to because he had admitted them. If his father wanted to pretend this conversation had never happened and say that he didn't feel the same way or for whatever reason couldn't return his feelings he'd understand. He wasn't going to force anyone to love him in that way or show that they did. He just didn't want secrets between them.

[EvenEcho]

There was a long silence. John wasn't going to speak. He had heard his son confess his love, he was so lost. "I love you too, so much. I've never loved anyone more than I love you," John looked up and over at Thane. "I never want you to feel guilty over something you can't help. You are just too good. You're smart, you're handsome," the first time he had ever called Thane handsome, "and you're the light of my life, but in a few years, what if I'm just your creepy old dad. I'm almost twenty years older than you."

 

He knew that they would never be able to go into public as a couple, not without facing scorn and he wouldn't want anyone to hate Thane, he was too precious to hate, but the public was terrible with their preconceived notions and prejudice. John opened up his arms, "Come here?" He offered. "I love you so much, and you shouldn't be guilty for whatever I'm thinking, I love you and if I could I would never let you go, but you have to go and live your life. If we... if we continue into a relationship, we wouldn't be able to go out in public as a couple, it would be awkward bringing your nearly 40 year old father to all the parties you're bound to be invited to.

 

"I do love you, and I want to be with you. I want that so badly," his conscious was drilling his father's words in his head, his exclusion after that, his fear of being curious as a child who was bound to be curious about such things. How he hated that man, and after all this time it seemed that he had been so similar to him, except now he had the opportunity to do what he wanted, to be with whom he desired, to be in love without disgust being in everyone's eyes. He didn't want Thane to see what someone looked like when they were disgusted with another person, but he realized he had likely made a similar face to his own father all those years ago in middle school. "I was so glad you offered this trip because, even though I like to think I'm unbreakable, I was going to try and tell you how much I love you, how much I care for you, how proud you make me."

[Sathenus]

A very pleased sound escaped him when he heard his father admit how much he loved him. He had been waiting years to hear those words, and damn were they worth the wait. In fact, Thane hadn’t realized just how desperate he had been to hear those words until they were spoken. Their eyes met as his father continued to speak and he frowned slightly when the other man mentioned his age and the difference in their ages. “Why should your age matter? I mean… if I love you and you love me then the age difference shouldn’t be a problem. That and you will never be my creepy old dad. I’d never see you that way.” That was something he just couldn’t understand, who cared if he was almost twenty years older than him? Thane certainly didn’t. If he didn’t care then he didn’t see what the big deal was.

 

Watching his father as the older man opened his arms and offered for him to go into them there wasn’t any hesitation. Thane was in motion before his brain even truly realized what was going on. Slipping into his father’s arms he wrapped his loosely around the other man resting his head against his shoulder much like he had when he was younger. Now though he was doing it for a much different reason. “But I want to live my life with you.” Thane pressed hearing his father’s words. Why was that so hard for him to understand? The only thing that Thane truly wanted was to live his life with his father at his side as more than just his father. “I don’t care.” He said firmly looking up his eyes determined. “I know we can’t go out in public as a normal couple, that’s okay. I don’t mind. As for parties, you know that’s not the type of person I am. I just want you.”

 

“I offered this trip because I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t making any mistakes, leaving anything behind. I want to come home to you, to know that I have someone waiting for me when school is over. I want to spend my life with you. Even if the rest of the world doesn’t accept our love. We aren’t the only people who feel this way. I know we aren’t.” He murmured softly. Thane knew his father could hear him just fine. Without thinking he reached up. His fingertips lightly running along the side of the older man’s face. Before he could truly think about what he was doing and feel shy again he leaned up pressing their lips together as his eyes drifted shut. He didn’t kiss his father like a son should, instead he kissed him with actual desire. There was no way he was going to let the older man pass through his fingers, he had to take a hold of this chance while he could.

[EvenEcho]

And John wanted to be the one that Thane came home to. He wanted to have him visit. Perhaps he didn't have any reason not to fully commit, what if he reasons were all made up based on his internal prejudice. He felt Thane's fingers on his cheek and he reached up to place his hand over his. "We aren't, I assure you, but we may be the only one's in our town."

 

When he felt his son's lips press against his, he kissed back. This was no father-son kiss, this was far from it; full of passion and heat, love and desire, John didn't want to stop but he did, pulling back slightly. He closed his eyes for a moment. He was so blessed to have Thane in his life. John wrapped an arm around Thane and looked over his shoulder.

 

"Come on, enough with the chitchat, we'll talk all night if that's what you want, but I have to admit I'm starving for some unhealthy, greasy, condiment covered hamburgers and hot dogs and a Coke," he smiled kissed Thane's cheek. There was a moment when John was glad that he didn't have to eat steamed broccoli (which was literally the devil), he wouldn't have minds it slathered in ranch, but the amount of ranch he liked wasn't healthy and he quickly took to heart Thane's comment about how it wouldn't be good for him in the long rung, but that didn't mean he had to like it. John sat forward and held one arm around Thane while he made them both burgers with all the right things with his one free hand (which he considered quite a feat). He sat back and looked up at the sky. It was nearly night now. He hadn't realized how long he had been talking, but it had been a while apparently.

[Sathenus]

It didn’t bother Thane to think that they may be the only ones like this in their town. That was perfectly fine with him, as long as he had who he wanted he could truly care less. The fact that the kiss was returned only pleased him even more. When it was broken he just watched his father not speaking as he heard him mention that he was starving and craving and unhealthy, greasy condiment covered hum burgers and hotdogs. Rolling his eyes he couldn’t help but laugh about it, “Just enjoy it while it lasts. You’re back having vegetables in your diet when we go back home.” He replied completely honest with his father. Of course, he knew that the older man didn’t care for such things, but he wanted to keep him around for as long as possible. Especially after their conversation tonight.

 

Feeling the arm wrap around him make sure he didn’t fall out of his father’s lap he watched as he made the burgers one handed. That was impressive; he had to admit that he hadn’t quite expected him to be able to pull it off so well. Reaching back behind him he grabbed the older man a Coke like he wanted and handed it to him. Leaning up he kissed him quickly once more, very much enjoying that he now could without the fear of being rejected. Reaching for one of the burgers he flashed the older man a smile. “You know, we really should go camping more often. We used to do it all the time and now we almost never do.” Silence fell as they ate, there was no reason to press any sort of conversation and Thane didn’t feel like conversation was necessary at this point. It wasn’t until he had finished eating that he finally slipped out of his father’s lap despite loving being there. Reaching for a drink himself he opened the can of soda as he wandered back towards his own chair.

 

“As for what we can do tomorrow. We can certainly go for a swim again, though maybe after the heat of the day or before we can go for a hike. Enjoy the great outdoors while we have the chance, before you go back to work and go back to school.” Thane had to admit school was boring, but he did so well because he wanted the praise of his father. He was always looking for that praise, to know he was doing well and making his father proud. Grabbing his book he carried it back to their tent placing it back in his bag as he didn’t want to get it dirty or lose it somewhere. Zipping the tent back up he glanced back towards the older man, now that the sun had set it was nice and cool.

[EvenEcho]

The hamburger in his hand, which was quickly devoured and in his stomach, was delicious and very unhealthy. He enjoyed it very much. He offered a quiet 'thanks' to his son when he handed him a soda. He opened the little tab and started to drink it. He nodded, they should go out more often and especially out camping. Maybe during the winter when Thane didn't have any classes they could come out and have to get extra close for body heat or something. He finished his food and put the trash in a trash bag he had brought. He left it out, but reminded himself to put it in the truck during the night so the animals would stay away. He stretched and pulled his shirt back on before going into the tent to get his sleeping pants on. He came back out and sad down in his chair.

 

"Yeah, we could definitely go hiking first and be back after the hottest part of the day just to jump into the cool lake. Sounds like a plan," he took another drink of his soda before crossing his legs, his ankle to his knee. "Let's wait a little bit and then we can roast some marshmallows and then you can finish your reading if you would like, but this old man needs to sleep," John stood up, "but first I need to go to the bathroom," he walked off into the horizon and went pee behind a mangy little bush of thorns. He pulled his pants back up and looked around for something to sanitize his hands with but couldn't find anything so he just shrugged. Eh, they were roughing it, they wouldn't die if he didn't wash his hands.

 

First, John sat back down and after letting out a loud, seemingly exaggerated yawn before stretching his arms up again, he finished his soda and threw it away. John watched as the sun fell down past the horizon fully. Now the only light they had was from their fire that was once again roaring, embers flickering like little bees into the air. He stoked the fire with a large metal rod before setting it up against his chair. The darker it got, the more ideas rushed to John's mind, very indecent images that would make a prostitute blush. He cleared his throat and got up to get the marshmallows. He set the bag down on top of the ice chest which he seemed to be using as a table and would continue to use as a table for the rest of the camping experience.