✏You're My Inspiration✏ Rated 18+ w. Z3N

[Z3N]

Chiaki’s hearted started thumping harder and faster the way his brother touched him. The hot breath against his ear, the fingers that took a hold of his chin. The way he spoke to him like that, telling the truth that had been kept. He didn’t know what to do anymore as he was at a loss for words. Just staring towards the other in shock.

 

Honestly, he didn’t think Makoto would have really liked him. What was even weirder was the fact that he didn’t dislike the fact in the slightest. Instead he felt a weird sense of relief washing over his body as if he had been waiting for this answer for ages. Feelings were a scary thing to have in this case, at this time.

 

“That’s… You didn’t give me any attention but you would for them. You made time for them even though I asked you first to go somewhere. Kissing them in front of me as if I didn’t exist. I hated it. I…” The more he talked, the more fucked up everything got in his head. This wasn’t the way he was supposed to feel. Actually if he thought about it, he was just jealous, but that was the alarming part especially with the kissing.

 

He shook his head, rubbing the palm of his head against his forehead. “What do you want from me!” He yelled in confusion. He didn’t understand himself anymore. He just thought of Makoto as a big brother… but then again. Was he really?

[~Silver_Pedal~]

Makoto stayed silent for a moment, not saying a word as he listened to his younger brother voice what he had been hiding for so long. However- a small smirk slid across his lips, that was quite a secret the young man was keeping.

 

"So, you didn't like me kissing anybody?" Removing his hand from the wall; he moved it towards Chiaki's upper arm, pulling him forwards so that they were eye to eye. "Did you want to be where they were at? Being kissed by me? Being touched by me..."

 

Reaching up with his other hand he stroked the young mans cheek with the back of it in a loving kind of way. His voice dropping lowly as he moved his face closer to his brothers, "Being fucked by me?" Makoto's bright blue eyes darkened slightly at the vulgar word that slipped from his lips.

 

"Or..." He turned the hand that was on the younger males cheek over in order to hold it, "Could it be that you wanted to be the one to do those things to me?" His smirk spread even wider across his face as he moved even closer to Chiaki's lips. "Because, right now- all I want to do is kiss you..." He muttered softly, his own mouth was inches away from his brothers.

 

He had been holding back for so long that it was becoming harder to control himself. He knew in the back of his mind that this was a sin and he would go to hell, but at this moment in time he could careless.

[Z3N]

The words that came out of his brother’s mouth weren’t like usual, the voice, the eyes, the attitude, everything changed in an instant. His body was frozen on the spot as his cheek was being caressed by the other ever so gently.

 

Yet instead of complying to the other, even when they were this close, he just couldn’t give in to it. Not now as he didn’t know what he was feeling himself. Leading the other on with hope that could be crushed in an instant, he didn’t want that to happen even though he had been through it himself before.

 

He placed his hand on the other his lips and pushed the man away from him, slightly angered by how the other acted the way he did. “I just said I don’t know how to feel about you. At least give me some time to think about it as I’ve always seen you as my big brother. If you go any further, there’s a chance that I’ll start hating you.” Chiaki said, a light frown forming on his face.

 

The fact that he indeed wanted to kiss his brother’s lips could’ve been just in the heat of the moment and they could regret it later on. If he was going to do this, he didn’t want to be half-assed.

 

A sigh escaped from his mouth as he looked at the electronic clock on his night table. “You should get some rest…” Chiaki said silently as he noticed that it was already 8pm and they’d been around for the whole day already without much sleep.

[~Silver_Pedal~]

Well, he certainly wasn't expecting this... No wait- he knew this could be one of the outcomes, it hurt being pushed away like this- to be rejected... The fiery look that was once in Makoto's eyes died out instantly, removing his hands from his brother- he took the hand that was off of his mouth.

 

"You're right... Sorry... Just forget about all of this..." He moved away from the younger male, sliding off of the bed- the look on his face was unreadable. Once he was far enough from the younger male he walked towards the door. "Yeah, it was probably lack of sleep..." He muttered softly more so to himself than Chiaki. "Sleep tight..." He opened his door and walked out closing it behind him, covering his mouth- the older of the two brother's felt his body start to shake. He should have considered the younger ones feelings...

 

How he felt, instead he was the one who pushed himself onto him. His chest felt like it was being constricted by an invisible force; maybe a nice hot shower will clear his mind... Maybe even go out to the casino to gamble, drink, and pick up some cute girl or guy... Anywhere but here. Or he could always call Ren and spend the night over at his apartment?

 

Heading towards his room, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his phone go off. Thanking who ever was watching over him at that moment; reaching into his back pocket he pulled out his touch screen phone. Perfect timing! He slid the green call button to the side, answering the call, "Ren! Just the person I was thinking about!" He said in an too excited tone of voice.

 

The male on the other side chuckled lightly, "You were thinking about me? Awe, sweetie I'm flattered!" Ren laughed even more, but he grew much more serious.

 

"Actually, I need you to come over and look at this character design I've been working on... That is if you aren't busy?" Makoto pushed his bedroom door opened slightly, due to it being left jarred just a little bit from earlier that day.

 

"No, I'm 100% free right now! Let me just take a quick shower, change and- are you hungry?"

 

"Oh I'm famished!" The dark haired male laughed as he loosened his tie even more, throwing the item of clothing in his dirty clothing hamper. While unbuttoning his vest, "Alright, what are you feeling tonight?"

 

"Hmm, sushi!"

 

"Sushi? Really? You have a rather expensive pallet..." He teased the slightly younger male.

 

"Well- I tired going out with you before... But you snub my advancements..."

 

Makoto had to snort at that, "Correction, we did go out- but we only saw each other as friends..." He tossed his vest, next working on his button down shirt. It was quiet on the other line for a moment.

 

"... Okay, yeah that is true..." Ren sighed in defeat.

 

"Anyways, text me when you get here okay?"

 

"Yeah, yeah... I know the drill..." With that said both men hung up, he felt slightly better now, but the sting from a few minutes ago still remained. Sighing softly, he entered his shower after he stripped himself down- once he stepped in he turned the water valves on.

 

Feeling the hot water cascade down his tired muscles, he exhaled deeply; reaching over he grabbed some strawberry shampoo and poured a generous amount on his hands before rubbing them together, reaching up and threading his soapy fingers through his black hair. He was feeling much more calmer now.

[Z3N]

As the other left with the face of defeat and then turned into a pokerface, Chiaki felt a slight sting in his chest. Mainly because he was feeling guilt at the moment. Sorry for rejecting Makoto the way he did but there was no way he could answer right then and there. Gripping some strands of hair tightly before letting go of it again.

 

Suddenly he didn’t feel like staying at home anymore. Perhaps he should go out more with a couple of friends so he wouldn’t be alone too much. His head was placed against the cold wall behind him as he spaced out. He didn’t feel like doing anything but staying home wasn’t helping either as he would start thinking about everything weird.

 

He heard his brother talking to the phone with someone but couldn’t understand what the guy was talking about. He did seem a lot happier than that he was talking with Chiaki. Yet he couldn’t say anything about it as he was the very one who pushed Makoto away. He felt like just jumping out of the window and running away in the middle of the night but it was a little too high for that. Laughing half-heartedly at the thought.

 

Then, his cell phone started ringing and he picked up after seeing that it was Naira. The two of them were partially inseparable as they had been through a lot together. She visited him whenever she could the times he was alone at home, he sorted out her conflicts with friends, both checking people out in public spaces, etc. They had quite a history already after six years. They had met in Cakez where Chiaki worked, helping her out as he noticed that some people were bothering her. Their friendship started then.

 

Her voice was shaky and he could hear that she was on the verge of tears. He immediately got up and grabbed a loose shirt that he put on in only a matter of seconds. “Blue Lagoon? Got it. Stay right where are you are, you hear me ! I’m coming right now !” He said in a rather loud voice, filled with worry as he stormed out of his bedroom and down the stairs.

 

Running out of the house as if somebody’s life depended on it. Starting his motorcycle before speeding off towards the bar. It wasn’t too far but it took some time before he arrived at the building. Safely parking his vehicle and taking the keys with him before going inside, looking for Naira.

 

Once he caught sight of her, he noticed her sitting between men he hadn’t seen before, grabbing her arm so she was out of their grasp. The men stared at him before standing up. The leader of the group seemed to be pretty annoyed with his action and got up close. Having quite the discussion which ended in Chiaki being hit in the end. It would probably become a black eye in the morning but he could live with that. The group seemed to be satisfied with the hit and calmly left after swearing a bit more at both of them.

 

Naira followed Chiaki back outside silently before they reached the motorcycle. Checking his face carefully with a regretful look on her face. “I’m so sorry but you’re the only one I could think of.” “It’s fine, I’m already glad you didn’t get hurt.” Chiaki said, a grin on his lips before he put her on the motor. “Now put this on and hold onto me, got it.” He said, putting a helmet on himself before starting the thing.

 

They drove a little while before stopping at a nearside calm park which only consisted of a small pond and some benches around it. As they sat down on one of them, they took a breather. His eye hurt a little but it wasn’t too bad. “So, problems with the boyfriend?” “Mhmm…” “What happened?” “He forgot our one year anniversary.” “I see. But isn’t it a bit too much to run away like that?” “He deserved it.” “But look what you’ve gotten into.” “Yes… I know.” “Maybe you should get your temper more under control, you have someone who looks out for you now. Trust him a bit more and forgive his mistakes. I know he loves you so he probably just mistook the day.” “How do you know that so sure?” “I texted him. And now that we speak of the devil.” Chiaki said, gesturing towards the right where her boyfriend was coming from. With teary eyes, she got up and ran towards him immediately.

 

The two apologized one more time before they left home, leaving Chiaki. “Idiot couple.” He said with a chuckle, leaning back as he looked up. It was already quite dark outside, stars could be seen as well as the moon.

[~Silver_Pedal~]

After a few more moment's of bathing himself, Makoto stepped out of his bathroom and reached around blindly for a towel. Once he felt the fluffy white fabric in his hands; he yanked it off of the rack in order to wipe his face and wrap it around his waist.

 

Exiting out of the bathroom, he shivered slightly as the cool air hit his heated skin, causing his flesh to crawl. Walking around briskly, he opened his drawers pulling out a nice pair of gray boxers and form fitting navy blue designer jeans. Drying off his body, the older male heard the sound of the door bell going off.

 

Curious as to who it was, he pulled on his boxers and jeans rather quickly, forgoing buttoning and zipping up his pants. Walking out of his room, Makoto started to dry his hair with the towel that was once covering his lower region. The door bell rung once more; causing an irritated groan to escape from his lips. "I'll be right there!" He yelled loudly, unaware that his brother was no longer inside of the house.

 

As his feet touched the bottom step he heard the door bell ring, "My lord, I'm coming! Jeez!" When he got to the door, he placed the towel around his neck- opening the door, getting ready about to yell at the person before he could get the chance to do so- a white bag was held up to his face.

 

"Ta-da!~" Blinking his light blue eyes, he stared at the feminine looking short brown haired male- "Instead of you coming to me, I came to you~" Ren giggled lightly as he looked up at the tall male, his wide honey brown eyes scanned the males body up and down.

 

"Have you been working out?" He asked in an innocent tone of voice, walking right inside of the house. Makoto stared at the male, holding the bag in his hands- he sighed and closed the door. "I was getting ready..." He muttered softly as the shorter male took off his expensive tennis shoes off and placed them on the rack. Walking forwards with a spring in his step, he glanced around- "This place hasn't changed one bit!" He said while heading towards the author's living room, "Ren... You never seem to listen very well..."

 

"Sure I do! Now, be a dear and go grab that bottle of wine that is in the refrigerate!" He yelled from the other room, spreading out the supplies that he brought over.

 

Makoto sighed once more, walking towards the living room with the bag, he dropped it down on the table- "Wah, be careful! There is soy sauce in there of the highest quality!" He snapped at the male who just shook his head and walked out of the room to grab the wine.

 

Once he grabbed the wine and two glasses he was muttering under his breath that today was so not his day, he placed the wine bottle along with the glasses down on the table. Finally buttoning up his pants and zipping them as well, "Ren- let me run upstairs and grab a shirt..." Ren popped the cap off of the wine and shooed him to do so. "Go ahead, I'm not stopping you..."

He said while pouring the liquid in the glasses.

 

The raven haired male ran out of the living and up the stairs towards his room to put a shirt on. He seems more tense than ever... I wonder what happened...? The manga artist thought as he started to take the large amount of sushi out of the white paper bag.

[Z3N]

As he sat there, he decided to just stay up the whole night since he wasn’t going to get any sleep anyway due to his brother. He let his head hang backwards so he had a better vision on the sky. Some people passed him by, only glancing at him due to the pinkish hair but didn’t do anything besides that. It wasn’t odd for people to colour their hair in Japan but it wasn’t seen too much by those who were actually working already. Thinking that it wasn’t formal enough. Luckily Mio looked behind his appearance and graded him on his skills.

 

Making it himself comfortable as he sat there, feeling a bit better now that he could help out with the minor discussion that Naira had with her boyfriend. It took his thoughts somewhere else and he didn’t need to seriously think about what Makoto had been saying. He merely admired his brother for making it so far in his life despite his young age. Yet he would never want to be like him as it was a bother to be followed by a crowd of people all the time. Not even starting about the media who were like predators.

 

Eventually, he didn’t feel like sitting around anymore and decided to go somewhere else. Taking his time to walk through the streets, some students (probably university students) were sitting in cafés or just hung out with some snacks and drinks with them. Some just got out of the cinema with big smiles on their faces as they had seen a popular movie with their friends and/or lovers. It was a nice thing to see.

 

It was a little cold though as he didn’t bring his jacket as he was in such a hurry before. Before it got too cold, he decided to go into an arcade hall which was open 24/7 which was good. That way he could keep himself busy for the rest of the night. Knowing very well that he had to get up early tomorrow as he was working the early shift, but he just felt like sleeping afterwards. If he would manage to stay up for that long that was.

 

Sitting down in one of the chairs, he looked at the game that was displayed in front of him. Seeing that he had to fight against another player who had a smug face. “Hmmm… So you’re going to challenge me? Let me see you try.” The boy said, his friends laughing at the remark like dumb apes who didn’t know any better.

 

Shrugging lightly before pushing the start button. It was some kind of mortal combat game which he had been playing a lot when he was younger. The first round was a little rusty as he had to get used to the different buttons again but after that, he was ready to go. With swift movements of his hands and some pushes on the right buttons, he easily countered his rival’s movements and knocked him out pretty quick. Due to this, more people started gathering where they were sitting. The first game ended with Chiaki winning due to the other guy’s disbelief.

 

Like this, the night went on as people started to challenge him into several games. Being used to the arcade hall, it was a piece of cake and people gave him the nickname “King Arcade”. Well, he didn’t dislike it as he got to know more people that way.