Something More Than Just Physical (Shisu-Chan x BunBun)

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde couldn't help but look at Adrian in awe when he explained what he said to Anderson. His eyes were wide, and he was at the end of his seat as if he was watching a great movie. "Fuck, dude." Clyde said in awe, a small impressed smile on his lips. Adrian being so tough was really attractive to Clyde; there was something about men that could take the reigns and act tough, that just made Clyde weak in the knees. Clyde wanted to sleep with Adrian, but he promised that he wasn't going to make any moves so he pushed that feeling deep down - though it still managed to float around in his head. "I can't believe someone married to that prick." Clyde suddeblt got a very devious thought, so he turned his body to face Adrian with that evil gleam. "You know, if you really wanted to ruin his life, you could call his house phone and pretend to be a gay hooker." Clyde said with a smirk. He knew Adrian probably wouldn't do it, but the thiught of him actually going through with it made him giddy.

 

Clyde extended his pinkie and thumv and oressed his hand against his ear. "Anderson residence!" Clyde said in his voice. "Oh yes. I'm a male prostitute, and your husband rode my ass like a pathetic cowboy. He didn't even pay me in money... he paid me in gum." Clyde pulled his hand off his ear and sat back in his seat, letting a shrug roll off his shoulders. "I'm just saying, it might be funny." Clyde glanced over at Adrian, that playful smirk still on his lips.

 

It had been a while since Clyde joked with Adrian. Though it seemed different with their clothes on, but Clyde tried to skim over that part. It felt nice... but maybe it was because the air was lighter now that Anderson was gone. He wondered what kind of people the advertising company were. Maybe Clyde would get along with them, being an art major and all? They had to be better than Anderson.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian laughed deep and actually real as Clyde spoke. "I wouldn't do that...More like the other way around? I would call her up and tell her I fucked her husband senseless and that he was crying by the end of it because he didn't want me to stop. Then I would hang up and let them duke it out." he chuckled lightly and shifted in his seat some. "I'm not that mean. If he decides to tell everyone about our relationship that hasn't been physical in years then I will possibly call his wife and then drive down to him and do exactly what I told him I would do." He shrugged lightly and sighed, "I have a more rough sense about me now...I doubt you would enjoy sleeping with me now that we are older." he said tilting his had over to Clyde smiling softly, "I'm not how I used to be and neither are you..." His voice was soft and yet still held a meaning to it all the same. He wanted Clyde more than anything in this world but he didn't know how fragile this man was. When they slept together before he treated Clyde gently, still did him well enough but now Adrian was alot more kinky. Sure sometimes he could be gentle but his little delivery boy always left his apartment with bruises and hickeys all over him as well as some rope burns on his wrists and thighs.

 

He couldn't help being who he was. He wanted to show that side to Clyde if he could but he didn't know how rough this small male was willing to go specially with him being so absent for so long. Adrian wandered how long it had been since Clyde had actually had a really good fuck. He wandered how long it has been since Clyde was filled up by another man. He had to shake his mind from these thoughts with a loud sigh seemingly to shift in his seat from the thoughts. He ran a hand through his hair feeling the car accelerate toward their next stop for the day. Why did he have to let his mind get dirty at that very moment, couldn't he just let his mind not play tricks on him? Keep his mind out of the gutter for once?

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

The roughness that Adrian acquired over the years was a turn on for Clyde, to say the least. He wanted Adrian to fuck him until he cried, but he promised him that they would have a purely friendly relationship. "Imagine the fight that would happen afterwards. It would be priceless..." His mind flipped to the child Adrian mentioned before hand, and he couldn't help but feel bad. He sank in his seat, trying to push his feelings back into his emotional Pandora's Box before they showed on his face and he had to explain himself. When Adrian said he wouldn't like sleeping with him now that they were older, Clyde couldn't help but meet his eye with complete seriousness. That feeling from earlier bubbled back into his stomach; that feeling that made his heart race, and his skin flush. Clyde couldn't help but roll his eyes, trying to mask his rather confusing and scary feelings with humor. "Oh please. Usually when men say they're rough in bed, they apologize for spanking me even when I beg them." Clyde said, turning his head away with a small little laugh, trying to pull himself together. "Don't be one of those guys, Adrian." Clyde teased playfully.

 

Clyde liked it when men could handle him rougher than others. He liked it when they would pull his hair or tie him up, or even if they could screw him hard enough that he was seeing stars; that was only the tip of the iceberg for what Clyde enjoyed in bed. He wanted to do all those things with Adrian now... He wanted to feel Adrian's manhood pulsate inside of him, and even blow him until he was calling his name. Unfortunately Clyde had to abstain, despite the fact almost every cell wanted to fall back into that with Adrian... But even now he was a bit scared to. He didn't like that feeling from earlier, that feeling had in high school but was too scared to face, that feeling that was still present now. It scared him, and he knew what it was but was too much of a wimp to call it by its name.

 

Clyde looked at his watch, before his eyes darted outside. The sign for the advertising agency flashed by, and the car turned into the parking lot. "We're here! To be honest I've been a bit excited for this one. Maybe it's the art nerd in me, but I'm stoked to see what they've got in store for us!" Clyde said hopping out of the car the second it was parked.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian felt a soft chuckle bubble to the surface, "I wasn't thinking just a light spanking Clyde." he said softly and turned his attention out the window. He had more things in mind. He wanted to leave Clyde tied to the bed with toys pulsating inside of him for hours only to come home to see how much of a mess Clyde had become. He wanted to hear the man beside him calling his name out begging him to replace the toy inside of him with his own cock. Adrian laughed lightly at the thought, how adorable would that be? To come home from work to see Clyde shivering and withering against the toys inside of him. Or possibly give him a vibrator to keep in all day at work only to have Adrian play with the settings as they worked. How nice it would be to see Clyde squirming in his seat.

 

The sound of Clyde getting all excited brought Adrians mind out of the dirty loop it was in. He smiled a little strained and nodded, "They are...alright." He spoke unhappily, he honestly didn't like this group of people either. Adrian got out after Clyde as the car came to a stop. He buttoned his jacket and looked over to Clyde, "Don't get so excited, they don't have any designs for us. We just started a new project so they are mostly going to be asking about the advertising points they need to highlight." He shrugged lightly not wanting Clyde to get his hopes up to see the amazing art work from the men inside. It wasn't all that amazing and his firm was ready to get rid of the group all together if he could.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde's body language slumped when Adrian told him that they didnt have any artwork to show them today. "Oh..." he said, a tad bit disappointed. He shrugged it off almost immediately, trying to get back into that professional mood. They stepped into the building, ans were almost immediately greeted by a tall male with a square chin and platinum blonde hair. He smiled and shook Adrian's hand, "Mr. Radcliffe, it's great to see you." The male said in a think English accent.

 

His eyes shifted over to Clyde, and he offered a small smile. "You're new. I'm Charlie Winters, and you?" Clyde shook his hand, returning the smile. "I'm Clyde Palmer, Mr. Raidcliffe's secretary." Charlie shook his hand back and pulled away. "Do you have a Bonnie, Clyde?" Charlie asked with a small little wink. Clyde heard that one a million times, and even though he wanted to comment on the originality of the pick up line he offered him a smile. "Nope. I'm hoping I can stay out of trouble." Clyde joked back.

 

Charlie laughed at his response and shook his head, "well I shouldn't keep you guys waiting. Step into this room here, and we'll start talking business."

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian instantly disliked the meetings. His business partner was suave just like himself and he often found it hard to talk with him for they were so alike. As they entered the building he put a smile on his face anyway and shook the tall mans hand. “Nice to see you as well.” He was about to introduce Clyde only to be left out of the conversation entirely as his business partner decided to hit on his secretary. Anger flared in his chest and he gave Clyde a look before heading into the room. His shoulders showing a stance of jealousy that he couldn’t hide. His business associate didn’t notice this and they went about their business. As Clyde guided them Adrian turned to Clyde as he let him into the room his eyes portraying multiple emotions all in one. He couldn’t help it, he still loved Clyde. Inside he could feel his heart aching as Clyde laughed and flirted back. He couldn’t help it.

 

He sat his folder down on the table in the conference room stretching his arms over his head. “Let’s get this meeting started. Sorry for almost being late. Your meeting just so happened to land behind a very...talkative client. I hope you weren’t waiting too long?” He asked as he pulled the chair out and sat. He was basically the most powerful man in the room and most of the time the way he was treated reflected that. However, Adrian never came off like a dick with his higher status and he always tried to treat everyone with as much equal treatment as he could. He leaned back in his. Hair more than ready to be back at his office wit Clyde to himself. He wanted to lock him away and keep him somewhere where no one could find him. He wanted to love his body, heart, and mind. He wanted all of him but he knew all too well that if he were to flirt with someone it wouldn’t bother Clyde at all. It wouldn’t shift a pang if jealousy it wouldn’t cause him to confess. Adrian was sure he could fuck whoever and Clyde wouldn’t give a damn because he just didn’t. He didn’t give a shit about Adrian less it was his cock and even then Adrian wasn’t often loved. The entire situation made him want to throw up yet throw something at the wall all at the same time.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde met with Adrian's eyes, seeing the jealousy and anger flare in his eyes like a flame. He wanted to tell Adrian that he didn't mean to flirt with him and that he was just being friendly, but they couldn't do that while they were in the company of someone else. He didn't want someone else to assume they were currently fooling around... though fuck, he wish they were. Though Charlie wasn't too bad to look at... maybe he could get his number? It wasn't like Adrian and Clyde were dating, so he could still sleep with the man... Though judging by the look in Adrian's eyes, that was probably a bad idea. He didn't like upsetting Adrian... It kind of upset Clyde when he was sad and heartbroken. The mention of Anderson made Clyde roll his eyes. Talkative and perverted... Clyde thought to himself as he opened up a notebook just in case Adrian wanted him to take notes or something.

 

"Oh no, it's really okay." Charlie said with a pearly white smile, as he sat down and grabbed a few pieces of blank white paper and a pencil. "You're a busy man with a lot on his plate, I get it. I've had those days." Charlie said with a small shrug. "Now, you probably have something to get to after this so I'll just jot down a few of your biggest points you would like to showcase in your ad." He said, flipping the pencil in his hands. "So what do you want in it? Do you want it to be sexy? Classy? Funny?" His eyes shifted to Clyde, before they turned back to Adrian. Charlie was flirtatious by nature. It was almost as if he couldn't turn that switch off in his brain. But when you see someone attractive, you see someone attractive!

 

Clyde looked over at Adrian nonchalantly, trying to get a read on Adrian. He was having a rough day... Thankfully the meeting shouldn't be too long. Maybe he could treat him to coffee? Though Adrian did say something about dinner tonight.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian stood almost instantly clicking his tongue, "I think a mix between both. Just get the point across for the business and it should be fine. The company wasn't too...pleased with the last run of the ad so I hope you will make it worth my while this time." He caught the glance and he couldn't help but even get more angry. "Clyde, could you please go get my phone from the car? I seemed to have forgotten it." he said sternly giving no chance for opposition. "We will finish this meeting quickly...and be on our way." he said turning back to charlie a sense of hostility about him. "If you mess up one more time the company won't keep investing, I hope you know how much this would suck for your business. I would like to keep us...as business partners but I can't see this happening if your company doesn't give what we want." He spoke softly moving to the folder handing it to Charlie. "Everything we want in the ad is in here. We would like every point talked about and the overall feeling of the ad should be classy and elegant with a light undertown of sexiness. Don't over do it and we will be fine."

 

He sighed softly moving to the door that Clyde had just left out of. "Don't touch my secretary. He's mine and I would appreciate it if you kept giving him eyes." He didn't like being a jealous ass but he mostly always tried to keep Clyde to himself even if the other male didn't know it. He left the room and went to the car to meet up with Clyde, it was better if he wasn't around Charlie being as flirtatious as the two of them could get. Then again if Clyde slept around Adrian would too, to make himself feel better. It was hard to feel...loved around Clyde because of how he was. He never did love...and Adrian understood that he wouldn't be jealous of the man Adrian decided to sleep with. It was all...so unfair but life was never fair it seemed.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde looked over at Adrian when he asked him to get his car, his eyebrow quirking just a bit. "Oh... oh yeah." Clyde said as he got up, gathering his folder and notebook before he headed out the door. He looked over his shoulder at Adrian, before he made his way to the car. Adrian was acting weird, though it might have been the long day they've had. He should really treat him out to a meal... He may be on a bit of a tight budget, but Adrian doesn't know that. He opened the car door, and started to rummage through everything. It felt weird digging through someone else's car. At least with his he knew where everything was, and it was easy to find things... In Adrian's car he had no clue where he put anything! Clyde shook his head, searching the car up and down for the phone, but it was no where to be found. Did Adrian forget it at the restaurant? "Shit..." Clyde cussed to himself.

 

Charlie looked taken back when Adrian told him to stop flirting with Clyde. He just looked at Adrian, eyebrows raised and his eyes wide. "Well, I'll make sure to not do it again." He knew it was a lie. Charlie just couldn't help himself, hell half the time he didn't even know he was flirting. Though he had to try this time, just a little His company was a stake; the ad had to be perfect, and his flirting needed to drop to a minimum. He looked down at the list of points he needed to cover, and looked back up at Adrian. "'Till next time I guess." He said with a fake, though still handsome, smile.

 

When Adrian came back to the car, Clyde turned on his heels his hands running through his locks. "Adrian..." Clyde said in a worried tone. "Do you have your phone? I can't find it in here..."

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian left the conference room more than pissed off about the encounter. He wanted to punch Charlie in the face. When he got back to the car he smiled dropping that hostile look and holding up his phone, "Seems I had it all along. It was in my breast pocket rather than my side pocket as usual. Thanks for taking a look, we can leave now. I figure my meetings are finished for the day?" he asked with a smiled opening the door and sliding in holding it open for Clyde.

 

"I figure this business meeting went...bad. I hate that guy..." he sighed running a hand through his hair peering outside. The driver turned the key in the ignition and started up the car. Adrian peered over to Clyde, "You seemed to like him though...I could tell your eyes wouldn't fall from him. The company has been having troubles with this advertising co. for awhile now, I'm not shocked if we drop them all together after this next ad flops." he pulled out his phone and opened it up messaging one of his booty calls. He was pissed, he was horny, and he needed to get laid like now. He wanted to take Clyde in the back of the car but this of course was out of the question.

 

(I'm sorry for being late, Christmas is a hard time. My best friend also just had her baby so I've been with her!)

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde looked over at him with wide eyes when Adrian said he caught him staring at Charlie. He rubbed his neck and smiled sheepishly, caught red handed. Charlie was attractive, and he had a thing for men who weren't shy - though the shy ones always tended to surprise him the most most of the time. His eyes darted back at Adrian when he said the advertising company wasn't doing as well as they hoped, and he expected their next ad to be bad as well. "Maybe they'll surprise you, Adrian." Clyde said, defending the advertising company. He knew what it was like to be an artist, and sometimes it was a hit or miss. "Creating is difficult, especially when you're being pressured to make something perfect." Clyde had always been very passionate about art, so he felt as if he needed to defend the company.

 

"Though, I'm sure they'll give you something better this time. Charlie seems like a crafty guy." Clyde said with a small little smile, rubbing the back of his neck. He wanted to look his advertisements on the internet when he got home. They were finished with their meetings for the day, so all Clyde had to do was respond to a few emails and phone calls - if there were any - and then he would be free to go home.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian couldn't help a sarcastic laugh from leaving his lips. "Of course you would stand up for him. Whatever to get him into your pants right? Cause thats all you care about? Try to keep your eyes to yourself when we are in working hours." He spoke sternly, a voice often used to his underlings at work. It wasn't one of a friend and it wasn't one of someone who would actually give Clyde the time of day. He couldn't help it that he was hurt. "You can go home when we get back. I have nothing else for you today." The mans eyes slid to the window peering out into the afternoon. The car sped along and quickly they arrived at the office. Adrian didn't wait for Clyde as he got out and walked to the front doors. He was greeted from the doorman and let inside. He quickly made his way to the elevator trying not to blow up on someone because of his frustration and the stupid high school feelings he was having. Why was he jealous? Why was he upset? He shouldn't be, it wasn't like Clyde was ever his...

 

That thought struck him hard and he felt the air in his lungs stop. Clyde wasn't ever his, and he never would be. Why did he have to keep pretending like everything was okay when being around Clyde just brought back painful memories and a love that he wouldn't ever have returned. Why did he try so hard to be loved when no one really did? When the door opened he practically fell through the doors and pressed the '9' button to go to his office. He felt like he was going to hyperventalate. He had to get away from everyone, from everything. Was this a panic attack? His chest felt like it was being crushed and his breathing wasn't working properly. Clyde was...his weakness and everyone could probably tell. He hadn't seen anyone for years in a romantic sense and he had only had fuck buddies. It wasn't a shock that this was because of a horrible relationship and a past trauma with another person. Clyde used to help in these situations but right now it felt like he was causing it. It felt all so wrong.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde's eyebrows furrowed and he looked taken back at Adrian's comment. "I'm standing up for art, not for-" Clyde groaned and looked away, his jaw clenched. "Never mind," He said with gritted teeth. Adrian didn't deserve an explanation. If Clyde really wanted into Charlie's pants, he would have gotten his number. "Fine." He said harshly when Adrian told Clyde he could go home. "I don't want to see you right now anyways." He waited until Adrian got out of the car, before he got out himself. Just looking at Adrian set a flame inside of his stomach. Why was he being such a dick? They were both single adults that could sleep with whoever they wanted, so why would he care if he found someone attractive? Clyde had a few things to pick up from his desk before he could go home, so he quickly walked to the office. He noticed that Adrian was using the elevator, so he decided to use the stairs instead. He stormed up the flights of stairs, his cheeks beat red in anger.

 

Where the hell did Adrian get off in practically calling him a slut? He got that he was mad, but that was uncalled for. He wanted to yell at Adrian, tell him that he wasn't defending Charlie as much as he was defending art in general. Clyde wasn't flirting... at least he didn't think he was. He thought that he was just being friendly, but clearly Adrian didn't take it that way. Why was Adrian getting jealous like they were in a relationship? Before Clyde even noticed he was on the ninth floor. It felt like he just started walking, but maybe it was his anger just fueling him. He looked at Adrian's office door, the thought popping into his head that maybe they should talk it out? He quickly pushed it down as he walked to his desk, gathering all of his belongings. It was the more adult thing to do, but maybe him and Adrian's relationship was past saving? Maybe he should just... quit. Surely there were other secretarial positions that didn't have an ex-sex friend as a boss?

 

No... they seemed so fine earlier... Before Anderson and Charlie, they were even laughing a bit... His mind wondered to his own feelings of jealousy and aggravation from earlier, but he did his best to push them down, but they just kept swelling up like some emotional volcano. He sighed deeply, throwing his head back. They should talk it out. Clyde moved to the door, and knocked on it softly. "Look I know you probably don't want to see me, but let's talk."

[Shisu-Chan00]

By the time Adrian made it to his office Clyde hadn't gotten back up. He slammed the door behind him and started to pace. Of course he was angry, of course he was pissed, but he was also being an asshole. He realized that this would just push Clyde away even more than he was and that wasn't what he wanted to do. The bad part was that seeing Clyde brought up feelings he could no longer hide, feelings he didn't want to be feeling. He didn't want to think about the love that had been tucked away and locked up tight inside of his heart since Clyde left him. He didn't want to think about another unrequinted love that would only end in heart break. He didn't want to think about any of it because it brought about the worst in him. He was possessive and got jealous easily when people talked to Clyde because he was in love with him and couldn't have him.

 

His pacing stopped and he found his way to his couch sinking into the seats as if they were a lover. He leaned his head back against the chair sighing hard. He heard the soft knock right after he had closed his eyes and started to cool off. He let out a soft groan yet didn't open his eyes. Instead his hand roamed up to his tie pulling it off and unbuttoning the buttons by his neck, "Come in..." he spoke almost as if he was exhausted. He knew what he was going to say and he knew it was going to be awful. Adrian was going to have to set aside his jealousy and anger to apologize for what he had said and patch up their relationship. He didn't know if he really could but he knew he wanted to. Clyde just made him so angry sometimes when he knew he had to feel something. It was hard to sleep with Clyde more than a few times without feeling anything. He was shocked that Clyde didn't feel anything at all...maybe it meant Adrian just wasn't right for him at all.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

When Clyde had heard the groan he turned on his heels to walk away. He went to take the first step when Adrian gave him permission to walk in. Clyde tried to rehearse everything he was going to say in his head, but by the time he had walked into the room it felt like his brain was wiped clean. He took a deep breath and sat on the couch next to him. He brought his knees onto the couch, and laid his head against it to look at Adrian. He really did look cute when he was all tuckered out, but that was a thought Clyde would keep to himself. "I didn't want to sleep with Charlie, you know." Clyde said after about a minuet of silence. "He was flirting with me... and yeah, I thought he was cute but-" Clyde cut himself off. He wanted to tell Adrian that the only one he wanted to sleep with was Adrian, but he left that out. "He just isn't my type."

 

He looked down at the space between the two, anger starting to bubble back up just a little bit before they flashed back up to Adrian. During the day he's been here, he's caused nothing but trouble for Adrian. Maybe he really should just quit? Maybe walking away from this whole situation was for the best? "Look... I love sex, and I can't do a relationship. I'm limited to purely a physical relationship, because really I'm not relationship material... Even if I do devote myself to one man, they'll probably get bored of me and cheat anyways, so I'd rather just skip the heartbreak..." Clyde shook his head and sighed, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that... maybe I should quit. You could find yourself a better secretary... you know, one that you didn't have a fling with back in high school. We can go our separate ways, and maybe then I'll spare you the heartbreak of being around you. I'm just bad news Adrian..." Clyde looked down, scared to make eye contact or even look at Adrian's face.

 

 

Those confusing feelings from high school were bubbling back up, and it scared Clyde. He needed to run away before things got serious.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian watched the younger male slide into the room and make his way to the couch. He tilted his head slightly and looked to his old friend hearing the first words slide off his lips. Adrian was being childish, he knew all too well that Charlie wasn't Clyde's type but that didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that it wasn't him...it wasn't Adrian and it bothered him. He listened silently and only sat up when he heard Clyde talking about quitting, "Clyde..." he sighed and leaned over tilting the others head up to look at him. "Sure...having you here is bringing alot of memories up and I...try to keep them back but its hard. I was in love with you. I know you can't have feelings for me like that, trust me you've told me plenty of times that this would never work between us." He let out a shakey sigh and shook his head letting his thumb lightly rub against Clyde's jawline. "I wanted you...like I had never wanted anything ever before. You were everything I ever wanted and more and I think you're why I can't settle down. Having you here is just proof that you still hold every part of me. I got jealous when you were talking to Charlie because he wasn't me, he wasn't..." he looked down and shook his head softly letting his hand fall from Clyde's face.

 

"I don't want you to quit. I don't want you to go anywhere...all you ever did when we were younger was run away from me and your feelings. You can't tell me you don't feel something, anything with me? Why do you keep coming back to me? Why did you get so angry earlier today? I just...I can't believe that you feel absolutely nothing for me other than a thirst for my dick. I couldn't have fucked you that good when we were younger Clyde...can you just for once talk to me? Instead of keeping it all bottled up inside? You wanted to talk didn't you, so talk. Stop running from me..." he said softly his eyes pleading with Clyde to talk to him and give in to those feelings.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde didn't want to look up at Adrian, but when he tilted his head his eyes looked up at him like an abused animal. His heart felt as if it was twisting when Adrian said that Clyde being around brought back memories. That's why he had to go... He needed to get away from Adrian, and quick. Clyde wanted to pull away, but the soft rub against his jawline brought him back. Why him? Why did Adrian love him? Adrian was kind, handsome, smart; he could have any guy he wanted in a heartbeat, so why was he so stuck on him? It hurt Clyde that he wanted him so much. He looked back down when Adrian let go of his chin, his body visibly getting tense with each question. He didn't want to talk about his confusing feelings towards Adrian, because they weren't as confusing as terrifying. It was easier to feel confused, than face that maybe after all these years he loved Adrian.

 

"Why..?" Clyde asked, looking up at Adrian with a sad, confused look. "Why do you have to love me, Adrian? I'm selfish, I can't commit, I cry when I get angry, and really I have no self control. I ruined your life... Fuck..." Clyde brought both of his hands and ran them through his hair, before he got up to pace around the room. "You could have been happily married with the man of your dreams if it wasn't for me coming into your life, and making it hard for you to settle down. But we had to fuck around, and you had to catch feelings for you... and I had to run away." He stopped, his body slumping and his hand rubbing his face. "You deserve someone just as amazing as you are, Adrian. You deserve someone kind, someone that could love you wholeheartedly without fear. You deserve someone to wake up to every morning, that makes you happy. You deserve someone that didn't break your heart and continues to do so." Clyde looked back at Adrian, before he sat back down on the couch holding his head.

 

He paused for a while, a soft sigh slipping through his lips. "And... even if we do date... even if we stay together for years, who's to say that you'll realize that eventually? What if you grow to resent me, because I held you back from someone else who could have been much better for you? I'm sure you'll say that'll never happen, but I'm too cowardly to take that step."

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian felt a soft smile roam to his face, could it be possible that Clyde actually liked him? He tilted his head listening to everything the other male had to say watching as he paced the room. It wasn't till he sat back down did Adrian move to say anything. "Listen...you want to know how many serious relationships i've had since we stopped talking?" he asked tilting his head over to Clyde looking into his eyes. "None. I couldn't fall in love with another man, I could sleep with them sure. I had alot of...casual flings or really serious fuck buddies but Clyde no one ever made me feel the way you did. You were..." he leaned his head back onto the couch and shook his head with a chuckle. "You were everything. And god...out of all my hook ups your body is still the best to me. Thats probably because I'm in love with you but none the less I loved every part of you...if thats the only relationship I can have with you I was fine with it. I didn't care...long as I got to hold you. It wasn't until I found out you were sleeping with other guys did my heart start to ache. It didn't matter that you didn't love me...I felt special being the only one seeing that side of you."

 

Adrian moved slightly and looked back to Clyde. "I know it's scary...to commit to one person. I know its scary to think that that person may leave one day. I understand that its horrifying but...Clyde...you don't even give it a chance. You write it off before you even try it. How do you know we wouldn't work? How do you know?" He moved slowly and took the boys chin in his fingers. "How do you know...that you couldn't fall in love with me...? You already love my body...you practically jumped me when you saw me..." He leaned down slightly till their lips were inches apart. "My heart is already yours...I would wait for you...but...you have to try with me." He said softly before kissing those lips that had claimed his heart years before.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde looked over at Adrian when he started to talk, his head still in both of his hands. It wasn't until he said that Clyde was still the best he ever had, that he lifted his head to fully look at him. A look of regret crossed his face when Adrian brought up that he slept with other men; he never intended to hurt Adrian, but he seems to do that a lot. He went to apologize and explain that he only truly felt anything being with Adrian, but he quickly shut his mouth when he started talking about facing his fears. Just the thought of stepping out into anything other than physical scared Clyde to the bone... even if it was with Adrian.

 

He let the other man grab his chin, his eyes looking over every single part of his face until they reached his eyes. His heart was beating like a drum, and he could feel butterflies flutter in his stomach. It felt weirdly nice, and that scared Clyde. He wasn't use to this; no one other than Adrian ever took his breath away, or made butterflies anxiously dance in his stomach. The second Adrian started to lean towards him, he couldn't help but follow. Adrian was his only weakness. He was the only one that ever got this far, despite the fact he was the one Clyde ran the furthest from. When they finally kissed, Clyde didn't hesitate to kiss back. His heart did flips, and he could even feel his face flush a nice shade a pink... He wrapped his arms around his neck, bringing him closer.

 

Clyde forgot everything that was going on in the world; he forgot about his own trival problems, world issues, and even his own anxiety... and for a split second he thought that maybe a relationship wouldn't be so bad? The second after the thought his anxiety started to kick back in, and he quickly pushed Adrian away gently. He pierced his lips together and shook his head, "I'm sorry Adrian... I just... I can't." Guilt started to fester at his insides like a disease, and he quickly got up and moved away from him. "I'm sorry... I'm just... I'm not ready. I... I..." He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to push back the feelings and thoughts he had previously. "I have to go." Clyde said, hurrying out of the room to his desk so he could gather his things.

[Shisu-Chan00]

Adrian felt a fire erupt inside of his chest like the fireworks on the fourth of july. He felt a shiver slide down his back as he felt the arms slide around his neck. Just as soon as it had started thoguh it was over and he felt the soft hands against his chest pushing him away. It was like an ice pick was wedged into his heart and he had to blink a few times to understand what was hap-pening. He was being blown off, again. Not just from a relationship but from sex.

 

Adrian sat there in disbelief for a moment before he quickly sprung from the couch and ran after Clyde. He caught his wrist in his hand, "No! You always do this! You don't have to be ready to give me a shot!" He lightly pulled him closer turning Clyde to look at him. "You've spent your entire life running from me! I can't be the only one of us feeling the way I feel! I can tell you feel something or you wouldn't...be the way you are!" He shook his head and let up on the grip of his hands. "I'm sorry...i get it you need time...even more than you have already had...but I can't wait for you any longer...it's been forever as it is!" He let out a frustrated sigh and let go of Clyde running a hand through his hair with a groan. It was all so complicated and hard. If only they could just...fall in love. Considering Adrian was already in love it didn't shock him that Clyde was the one holding back, like always.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde tried to pull away when Adrian pulled him close. He needed to run away, everything was just... happening so fast. How did it end up like this? Running away was easier than staying, especially when it came to Adrian. There were just so many feelings, and he just wasn't ready to face that just yet... but then again, when would he? He stopped struggling, and looked up at Adrian with sad droopy eyes. He looked down when Adrian said he couldn't wait for him, and his heart dropped to his stomach. He started to panic, and he looked over. This was unfair to Adrian... he waited so long for Clyde to love him, and here they were as adults and he was still waiting. Clyde felt like his toe was up against a line that he needed to cross to get over his anxieties, but even though in his heart he knew he needed to take that step his body just wouldn't let him.

 

He reached out and grabbed Adrian's shirt, his eyes glued to the ground. He wanted to cross it... he wanted to so bad, but years of unresolved childhood trauma kept him back. "Adrian..." He said softly, taking a step closer to him before he rested his head on his chest. "I'm... scared to take that step, but..." Clyde pierced his lips together, his eyes glued to the carpet. "But..." He was scared to say those words... he was scared to get into anything serious, but he didn't want to hurt Adrian anymore, and really sex was just something he did to fill that void... a void that only Adrian was ever able to fill. "Maybe I can... I can... give it a... try." He said quietly, his heart beating in his throat.

[Shisu-Chan00]

There was a silence that filled the air between them for what felt like eternity. Adrian felt everything in his body grow tense as he waited for Clyde to say something, anything to him. It was a good sign that the other male stopped struggling against Adrian but Adrian was finished fighting. He had nothing left in him to give to Clyde, he had already given him everything he could give. If he gave anything else there would be nothing left. It was like time stood still between the two of them while Adrian and Clyde stood contimplating what to do next. They seemed to stand there for hours, for Adrian it felt even longer.

 

He didn't realize he was holding a breath but as Clyde pulled him closer and filled the space between them he let it out. He felt a soft fit of laughter wanting to bubble to the surface as he felt the head slide to his chest. Was this actually happening? Clyde was actually facing the noise instead of running away. It was like everything was happening too fast and Adrian couldn't comprehend it. The words that Clyde were spouting were so soft that Adrian could barely hear it over his own racing heart.

 

He leaned down softly and pulled Clyde into his arms hugging him tightly. "I...I'm not saying its going to be easy. I'm a pain in the ass and so are you but I know that we can make this work..." He moved slightly and tilted Clyde's face up to look at him. "I know this can work if you let me try...I'm willing to give you the world Clyde and I always have been. Even if you decide that dating me isn't for you then I'll still support you but I think we have to try...at least give this a shot...I miss you." He spoke softly running his thumb over the males cheek. "When I...saw Charlie flirting with you today it just reminded me how much I miss you. Every part of you." A soft smile filled his lips and he shook his head softly, "I know this is insane but I will be here to pick you up when you need it. I've always been here for you." Adrian felt a soft flutter in his chest as he leaned down kissing the males forehead as if to reassure his words.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde reluctantly hugged him back, his cheek pressed against Adrian's chest. It felt... weird. Usually hugs were just a hug, but this one was... different. It scared him when Adrian said this wasn't going to be easy, but somehow the closeness just made him feel a little better about it. This was such a huge step for Clyde, and every bone in his body was telling him to run... but it was his heart that kept him grounded. He wanted so desperately to make this work. His head followed Adrian's lead, his eyes looking up at Adrian with both fear and faith. He quickly cupped Adrian's hand, a little smile crossing his lips when Adrian said he missed him. Truth be told, Clyde did as well. He missed those long nights they would sit up talking, those times they couldn't keep their hands off of each other, and even the times they sat around saying nothing. His eyes closed when he kissed his forehead, his fingers lacing with Adrian's.

 

"I missed you too," Clyde said softly, his eyes flickering up to look at Adrian. He wasn't ready to say anything else. He didn't want to say he loved Adrian, though in his heart it said it so loudly. Saying he loved Adrian was just a line that he wasn't ready to cross. He kissed Adrian softly on the cheek, his hands sliding against his chest. Usually around this time was when he would sleep with someone... so he really didn't know what to do other than that. His lips parted to speak, but a soft knock tapped against the glass. "Mr. Raidcliffe?" Abigail said behind the door cheerfully. "Can I come in? I need to run over a few things with you."

[Shisu-Chan00]

The soft hands that laced his own caused a jump in his heart. He wasn't running away this time, he was right here and he was being hugged back. Adrian felt the weight on his shoulders fall off. That pain that he had been feeling for years just was gone in an instant. Wiped away by the soft interlacing of fingers on the mans cheek before him. Adrian felt a smile form on his lips as he heard Clyde's words and he let a gentle chuckle leave his lips. "Thats good enough for me..." He said softly and leaned down stealing the kiss that was for his cheek on his lips. The soft knock caused him to look up and he let out a gentle sigh winking at Clyde before stepping back and letting his hands fall from the males small frame.

 

"Sure sweetheart. I was just finishing up with Clyde and my meetings for the day." He turned back to Clyde and smiled softly a whole new feeling about his day. "I...want to see you tonight...I know what you do after stressful days like this one and I would be more than happy to accompany you tonight. Considering...you have to be loyal to me now." he ruffled the others hair playfully simply teasing him but being serious about having him come over that night and spend time with him. He wanted to talk still, wanted to be with him. He wanted to jump his bones since the first day they saw each other but kept it to himself since then. It would be more than happy to see him tonight.

[BunBunTheCatSnake]

Clyde smiled when he asked if he could come over, and he nodded quickly. "That sounds nice," he said, stealing a quick kiss before turning to walk out the door. "Call me when you get off." Abigail swung the doors open and almost danced into the office. "Hello Clyde," she greeted happily, ruffling his hair on her way to Adrian's desk. "Hey Abigail." He said with a little smile and a nod, before he exited the room and closed the door behind him. Abigail watched as Clyde left, before she moved over towards Adrian's desk and sat down. "You look chipper today, Adrian." She said with a tiny smirk. "Got a hot date?" She joked.

 

Clyde gathered all of his things and left the office feeling... different. This was going to be Clyde's first serious boyfriend, and it made him feel a little excited, but hesitant as well. What if Adrian realized how lame he was? No... no, Adrian was far from the rest... if he waited this long, then why would he leave? He hopped into his car, feeling weirdly excited about tonight. It had been a week since he slept with someone, and this time it was wit Adrian... a tiny smile crept on his face, as he started the car and sped off to his apartment. "Liam, I'm home." Clyde called out... but no response... He moved to the couch, where he saw a letter written in crayon, explaining that he got called in for a graveyard shift and that he wouldn't be home tonight. He put the letter down, and moved towards the shower to wash himself from the dirt and grime he collected today, rushing to get clean so he didn't miss the text from Adrian.

 

Clyde didn't even bother putting on anything other than boxer shorts - they were just going to end up on the ground later anyways. He was excited for Adrian to come over... His apartment was small, but cute. It was a two bedroom, though the rooms were small and the living room was a little hard to move in when there were anymore than four in a house. The walls were red brick, and they were covered in cult classic movie posters, and a few of Clyde's original paintings. His roommate Liam collected action figures, so there was an entire bookcase filled head to toe with different characters. His apartment was nice, though it was probably shabby compared to Adrian's... where did he even live? Was it nice? It had to be nice, he was a CEO... He laid his head on the couch, his eyes anxiously flickering to his phone.