K Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 (this is my first narrative poem (kinda ) i wrote, hope everyone like this ) . .again, feel free to judge rabbit14 STRANGERS You bumped into me, one day Your cup of coffee poured into my tee, and you say "Oh!, I'm so sorry, I'll wipe it with my hanky." Then suddenly, our eyes met It feels like, I'm starting to melt This staring connection between us With those, of your deep gray eyes Is like swallowing me, into your deep ocean Then I felt the shake, of like an earthquake These eyes blink, for the very first time And I blush, when suddenly you smiled You noticed, so you open your mouth and utter "Are you okay?" Few words coming out, from those cherry lips Moved me from head to my new polished nail tip Your voice sounded low, deep and feeble But still like a music to my ears I heard every single note, clearly Like it was composed, perfectly "I...I'm okay", I answered stammering Then I look to my tee and start wiping Suddenly, you took one step closer to me You reached your hand that held a hanky Moved away my hand and insist to wipe it I felt awkward but I let you do it With this closeness, I could smell your scent It's mild and calm but mysterious and deep Surrounding with such a cold refreshing breeze That delivers me into a state of freeze This ambiance changed, when you took your hand away Little sadness covered me, but what can I say I want for us, to stay longer in this scene My mind speak, "Could you grant this simple wish, please?" Then you turn your back on me I sigh, and saw you're doing something Suddenly, you turn again to me Giving your perfectly folded hanky I felt a little hesitate, but encourage myself to get it "It's for you to remember me", you spoke gently Then kiss me on the cheek and bid farewell I'm still standing in this place where you left me In shocked, while holding this precious thing, tightly Then someone shout at me, "Hey, lady!" I came into my mind and look what i'm holding Of curiosity, I started unfolding Group of numbers and a message was written "Bumping into you accidentally, I think was my destiny!, I wrote my number, call me. " It's funny, seeing a smiley "Thank you!", I whispered, then tied in my wrist, this hanky . .such a comfy feeling writing a poem while it's cold and raining :cuteonion7: 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morinaga's Girl Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 The poem is great! I love it so much!!!! This was the part I liked the best! :leaf15: "Suddenly, you turn again to me Giving your perfectly folded hanky I felt a little hesitate, but encourage myself to get it "It's for you to remember me", you spoke gently Then kiss me on the cheek and bid farewell I'm still standing in this place where you left me In shocked, while holding this precious thing, tightly" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 The poem is great! I love it so much!!!! This was the part I liked the best! :leaf15: "Suddenly, you turn again to me Giving your perfectly folded hanky I felt a little hesitate, but encourage myself to get it "It's for you to remember me", you spoke gently Then kiss me on the cheek and bid farewell I'm still standing in this place where you left me In shocked, while holding this precious thing, tightly" . .thank you sooooooooooooo much, morinaga's girl (what should i call you??, ), cloudy is supah happy that morinaga love it rabbit4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Eater Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Woah I love it love it :msn_red_fox 15 It's very beautiful there when he turned away I almost thought that he's gonna leave just like that but noo XD Nice, very nice Congrats! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuJu Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Wowwh! I really love this poem .... It's sooo sweeet and cutee...especially the part he suddenly kisses you on the cheek :leaf4:... You so talented poet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 . .thanks SUPAH friends, ichii-kun and yaoi eater foxy3 . .my supah smile was like this ^(h_____________h)^, lol . .luv yah foxy2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miro Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Oh that's very cute! I like it a lot! Especialy the finish ...cause was unexpected! Once again a very good poem from you! :msn_red_fox 15 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 @miro . .i don't know but i just came up with that ending where i wanted it to be in that way, (kinda cute while i'm thinking of it ), rabbit6 . .cloudy is SUPAH SUPAH glad rabbit4 that you liked it especially the ending, thanks for the compliment :leaf3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
현애 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 omgee so sweet...rabbit8:cuteonion26::banhbao45: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 omgee so sweet...rabbit8:cuteonion26::banhbao45: . .ooooooh, i felt like my heart got bigger when i read your comment, cause it made you react like that, SUPAH THANKS one-san foxy3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Awww I love it!!! I love how cloudy-chan is writing awesome poems now!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 Awww I love it!!! I love how cloudy-chan is writing awesome poems now!!! . .waaaaaaaaaaah, (i'm blushing) rabbit13 . .SUPAH SUPAH SUPAH thanks, amander-sama rabbit4 . .btw, i miss yah! (i just only see you online, but i wasn't feeling your presence ) rabbit0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 . .waaaaaaaaaaah, (i'm blushing) rabbit13 . .SUPAH SUPAH SUPAH thanks, amander-sama rabbit4 . .btw, i miss yah! (i just only see you online, but i wasn't feeling your presence ) rabbit0 Aww I have been really busy this week so I have not been able to get online for very long I miss you too though 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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