Path to the Heart [GodofMischief&Hideki] (Private)

December 17, 2017

Dr. Cole Haworth

Age: 30 years

Gender: Male

Height: 1,81m

Eye colour: green

Hair colour: blond

Sexual orientation: homosexual in denial

Occupation: CEO of a record company

Biography:

Cole was born as the son of a wealthy family, his grandfather being the owner of a renowned record company. But even though his grandparents as well as his parents tried to evoke an interest in music production, PR and management when he was a child he never developed an interest in those subjects. Neither music nor celebrities and people in general seemed to interest him what led to his family letting it rest for the time being.

This way the boy enjoyed a normal and comfortable childhood where he could hang out with his friends. He even managed to find a best friend in a former rival of his and he grew really attached to him as they were making everything together. That led Cole to think that they would stay friends for eternity and that nothing could ever come between them but at one point their relationship seemed to grow colder and darker as his best friend distanced himself from him without an explanation leaving him angered, disappointed and frustrated about his behaviour.

His anger and grudge against the other rose even further when his friend left without a word and on top of that wrote him a letter confessing his love to him. That left Cole with a lot of questions and he got confused, not only about the other’s feelings but about his own as well. And when he figured that he has probably felt the same it infuriated him and he immediately got the urge to repress it and shove it as far away from himself as possible because he didn’t want to have such feelings for another man, he didn’t want to be gay.

No matter how hard he tried to not think about it his former best friend sneaked back into his mind all the time though and not only he but the disturbing little fact that he does not only find fellow men physically appealing but that he can love their being as well and that he in fact had never felt like that for one of the women he had dated, even if he had liked them in another way.

The thought of being gay however terrified him to the core as he was just too opposed of being that and what that would mean for him and while he attended university to become a Chemist he started overcompensating and used the connections from his grandfather’s record company to get into contact with female celebrities and make the women out of straight guy’s wet dreams his girlfriends whom he switched as often as his underwear.

When he got his PhD in Chemistry and worked as a researcher he got too busy for that little game though and chose one of the female singers to stick with. His choice was a young woman with blond hair and huge fake tits, who made music where one wasn’t so sure whether it were songs or porn, or both or if it actually didn’t mattered because the only reason why she was popular was that male teenagers could jerk off to her music videos and left her concerts with a boner.

Even though he never loved his girlfriend romantically Cole was happy with his job he really liked and that fulfilled him. Until one day his beloved grandfather got too sick to lead his record company anymore and the old man called his grandson to his side to express the wish that he shall take his place and safe his lifetime achievement and that it would break his heart if what he had built would fade away or would be reigned by anyone else.

Seeing no other choice because his grandfather and his family was too important to him, he quits the job in the field that he truly loves and enjoys to work in a field and business that isn’t his world and about which he has no clue whatsoever.

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He was spinning a little Lego brick around in his hand looking at the construction he had built on his desk in the large impressive office that once had belonged to his grandfather instead of recognising his assistants who were both complaining about god knew what and who were talking insistently to him about things they deemed important. Cole had stopped listening ten minutes ago. It wasn’t like he wasn’t doing his best and that he didn’t want this company to stay on top but he had no idea about any of that, nor did it remotely interest him. He didn’t even know who all of those world famous people they had under contract even were and what they did.

It wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t fit to be a CEO and that he didn’t have the qualifications for this. The blond thirty years old man had no clue how to work with people, neither about music, art, what the people liked nor about management or finances. None of his employees in the company was happy about him being the new CEO; no one found this was good for any of them and he had heard them expressing that the “bloody nerd shall crawl back into the laboratory he had come from and continue playing with his chemistry set”, except for his girlfriend that was who was happy that he was there so that she could see him more often.

Cole had found the statement with the chemistry set incredibly disrespectful and unfair, he was a brilliant man in his own field, he had been doing important research and had focussed on subjects and things much bigger and much more important and significant than all the trivial bullshit and the senselessness and emptiness this record company was representing. No one, not even his grandfather or his parents understood what a gigantic sacrifice the man had made for them though and he doubted that they ever would. In their weird mindset he should probably even be thankful for working in that damn company now as it seemed to be a “dream job” to many people. Not to him though.

His mind was floating around like the ocean and he had to fight to keep his eyes open, still spinning the small Lego brick in his hand. “Dr. Haworth!” he heard one of his assistants, Mr. Gabor, saying his name and he looked up into the brown eyes of the man with his green sleepy ones and he could see how Gabor’s face started to form a shocked expression when he got aware of the Lego construct on the table. “Are you building a castle with children’s toy blocks instead of working the whole time? Are you even listening?” The man always sounded like a hysterical woman to Cole, like his girlfriend when she got mad at him when she was on her period.

“Those aren’t toy blocks, they are Lego. And this is supposed to be Hogwarts you ignorant!” the Chemist who was now the CEO answered and then the female assistant, Miss Turner, spoke, she didn’t sound like that though, what Haworth appreciated. She calmly and rationally repeated some of the things they had told him before, one of which was that a former teenstar in contract at their company was caught up in a media scandal because they had caused public nuisances in their neighbour country and that they could lose quite some money if that person wouldn’t be marketable anymore.

Cole didn’t take that seriously though and that lead to a heated discussion between the three of them and got quite ugly, especially because the effeminate Mister Gabor couldn’t stop himself from calling his boss an ‘incompetent loser’, what led the blond heir to get angry himself.

“Who do you think you are you ridiculous little drama queen!? I am your boss and you know what, you’re fired!” he screamed into his face. And the man said that he couldn’t fire him because he had been working there for almost twenty years now and his colleague tried to apologise for him keen to safe his job but Cole only smiled. “You will never celebrate your 20th anniversary then because you don’t have your emotions under control. You’re fucking fired!”

With that the man started crying and stormed out of the room while his colleague was following him with comforting words.

The blond let his hands run over his face and sighed. This really wasn’t going well and he could already see himself going down with the agency. He needed help for this, there was no denying it and Cole hated to rely on others but here he had no other choice as he had no idea about the world he had just entered, he was like a man lost in a foreign land without the knowledge of the language and any tools or money. Twisting his mouth he put the Lego brick he had been spinning around the whole time onto his construction when someone knocked at the door.

After the door had been flung open and the CEO had rose from his seat standing in front of his desk, a man stepped into his office and this man was no stranger to him nor was it a surprise that he was standing there now. For whatever the reason this guy out of all people had called his agency and had asked for taking him back under contract and had said that he wanted an appointment with the new CEO and the CEO was Cole.

The doctor of Chemistry had asked himself why he was doing that and he had even searched for a reason and it seemed like he was thankful to his grandfather and now wanted to help the record company to stay alive and return it to its past glory. And now he was there, standing before him after all those years that had past from the time when that bloody guy had disappeared and had left him with that cursed letter that had messed with his mind for so long.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t known how the man looked now, after all the guy was a famous singer now and had been under contract at his grandfathers company before, unlike Cole whose face nobody knew and whose name was only known to those interested in Chemistry and yet, seeing him standing before him again, he couldn’t deny that this bloody guy had become quite an attractive man and he wanted to slap himself for thinking this.

Not only because he was not gay, no, also because he was extremely mad at him, especially for having made him feel so gay back then, what he wasn’t, of course not, he had a girlfriend who looked like a playmate after all, with plastic tits and everything.

“Well, well, look whose there after all those years!” his deep bass voice sounded through his office and he put on a grin. “I never thought I would ever see you again after you ran from me like a coward. But our past relationship shouldn’t be relevant here, as it isn’t about us. For some reason you value that record company and my grandfather, you know the business and have the status to be helpful and I don’t want to break my grandfather’s heart even though I don’t know shit about any of this as I am a Scientist. So I think for my grandfather I can make another sacrifice and work with you. Have a seat?” he said pointing at the comfortable but small chair opposite to his impressive executive chair.

Before Haworth could return to his chair he heard another knock at the door and a short man with glasses and a receding hairline stepped in. “Are you the money guy?” Cole asked and the man looked a little confused. “I’m the bookkeeper.” He answered and the green eyes of the boss shone. “Splendid!” the CEO expressed and grabbed a pile of paper he pressed into the guy’s arms. “I want this for tomorrow!” he told him and the man looked confused. “They actually told me to teach you a little about financial management and ...” the bookkeeper couldn’t finish the sentence because Cole cut him off. “Ja, not now! Don’t you see I have a VIP here?” he let him know pronouncing the “VIP” part in a really sarcastic, mocking way. “I’m sorry!” the man said looking at the pile of paper. “Have you painted a dick on that Dr. Haworth?” his voice sounded shocked.

The blond sighed. “I’m not an artist but I think that is quite obvious. Don’t you have work to do?” he said and with that the bookkeeper left the room.

With another sigh Cole turned to the man who once had been his best friend, the guy who once had meant the world to him, more than he probably should have meant. “Sorry for the interruption but that’s how it goes the whole day.” He said and then thought for a second. “Where were we... Ah, I cannot deny that I hate that job and also that I don’t exactly have any friendly feelings towards you Mister runaway – hey, wouldn’t that be a good song title ‘Mister runaway’ – and to top it all off I have just fired one of my assistants, so if you really stand by what you’ve told my secretary, that you want to come back here and want to help this agency out, this will be hard work and I need people I can count on, not more scandals like those stuck in adolescence brats cause us.”

This was all he was able to say before the door went open yet another time but this time without a knock and one could hear the sound of high-heels on marble floor. It was his girlfriend Bianca and she didn’t even say ‘Hello’ before she started complaining about some chick at Prada while she was walking straight towards Cole who was embracing her a little too eagerly and shoved his tongue into her mouth and grabbed her round arse.

Making out with his girlfriend where people could see was something he didn’t do specifically in front of his guest but in front of everyone to demonstrate just how straight he was too them. It often got distasteful and people at one point just got incredibly annoyed by it thinking:”So you have a hot, famous girlfriend you arsehole, we know already.” While the blond thought that this was necessary so that people wouldn’t ever question that he was a straight man even though no one other than himself had ever and was questioning that. Actually he did that to assure himself more than others.

When the two of them finally had finished their ‘greeting’ Bianca turned around and her blue eyes shone when she saw who was in her boyfriend’s office. “Awww, that’s him!” she squealed as Cole facepalmed shaking his head. The well dressed woman with the long blond hair tottered over to the other man offering him her hand with the diamonds on her nails as she continued to speak in an excited tone of voice: “I’m a huge fan of your music, your voice is incredibly. I always wanted to make a song with you but Cole said that he had met you somewhere and you were an arse but I always doubted that this was true as your songs are sooooo touching! Maybe now that we’re at the same record company we can write a song together, that would be sweet.”

The blond man wanted to instantly build a giant wall between his girlfriend and the man from his past before it would get worse for him but Bianca already had another great idea.

“Are you free tonight? You could come over for dinner, I am an extraordinary cook!” she suggested happily. “Wouldn’t that be gorgeous!?” she turned to Cole, who fake smiled for her. “Ja, totally awesome hun!” What made Bianca smile happily.

December 17, 2017

Name: Zane Durandal

Age: 30

Gender: Male

Height: 6'0

Eye color: Sky Blue

Hair color: Silver/Gray

Sexual Orientation: Bi, though he prefers the company of men more than women.

Occupation: Famous Singer

Biography: Zane is the youngest son of the famously known Durandal family, and some would argue that he is the most talented of the bunch. During his youth, Zane hated being related to his family. He didn't want the attention they seemed to thrive off of and he didn't want his life to be constantly followed and monitored by the media. He had no insteret in sacrificing his privacy just for the fame and glory his family was obsessed over. So he hid the fact that he was related to them as much as he could. If people ever asked, he simply stated that it was a coincidence that he shared the last name of such a well known group of people and should his friends ever want to hang out of school, he quickly made it so that they never stayed at his house. He couldn't even begin to imagine what a hellhole his life would become should his friends or school mates ever learned the truth about him.

As he grew through the years, his family never paid much attention to him. Where his siblings showed talent early on and eagerly dove into the lifestyle of their parents, Zane adamantly shied away from anything close to stardom. As such, he supposed his parents didn't think they should waste their time or attention on a son that would amount to nothing in their world. It hurt at first, being ignored so coldly and cast aside almost as if he didn't matter, yet Zane grew accustomed to it quickly enough. Besides, he had friends that showed him that he was wanted and even his old rival, a boy he had become impossibly close to, made him believe that he was important. However, never would have Zane imagined that he had fallen for the other young man. Not until his dormant attraction of Cole hit him square in the face and sent him into a panic.

Desperate to not lose the friendship they had gone through hell to gain, Zane did his best to push his feelings away. Unfortunately, by doing so, he also ended up pushing Cole away. In his fear and nervousness, Zane reverted back to the snappish, cold tempered nature he had once had towards the other boy when they had been in the midst of their rivalry. Refusing to spend time alone with Cole or even time with him almost their friends, Zane distanced him the best he could from the center of his hidden attraction. And during the summer, two years away from graduating High School, Zane vanished from his town and the lives of all his friends. Even Cole......no matter how much that hurt.

In order to try and forget his past and face his new future, Zane moved with his family several states away. Deciding to finally show his worth to his family, the young boy dove headfirst into their world, following in the footsteps of his siblings and parents before them. It wasn't easy, and he had to throw away huge parts of himself to be molded into the Idol his parents would be proud of, but after a few years, he reached his own stardom. And my what a stardom that had been. Zane wasted no time in reaching to top of Celebrity lists time and time again. His voice, almost angelic, reached into the chests of all who listened and wrapped warmly around their hearts in a gentle embrace. No matter the style of music his made for his albums, his fan base grew by the thousands almost weekly and albums sold by the millions. In no time, he became the man of the hour. The Idol other Idols wanted to be. Young as he was, he accomplished what it took nearly a lifetime for others to do. It was impressive in no small degree. Nevertheless, Zane didn't allow it to get to his head.

As much as he had been forced to rebuild himself, Zane remained humble and kind. He treated his fans and those he worked with like family. Where he had hated having to share his privacy before, he now made it a habit of posting pictures or videos in the social media just to get fans input. Never did he hesitate in offering advice to his followers or exchanging funny tweets with his new family numbered in the millions. His presence was charming, alluring, and warmly welcoming....something truly hard to resist. And no one knew that better than his fellow band mates, 4 men and a woman that had become the close knit family that he had never had as a child. He was happy, for the first time in a long time.

Yet when he heard of the struggles of the first music agency he had ever worked for, Zane couldn't help but want to help. Even though the name of the newly appointed CEO of the company chilled him to the bone and brought about feelings he had left in his past, Zane wasn't going to run. Not again. This was bigger than whatever might still be between the two of them and he was older now. For the sake of the Agency and the celebrities that had contracts to it, he would do whatever it took to help, no matter the circumstances.

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To say he was nervous, would be a giant understatement...and that was saying much since he rarely got nervous about anything anymore. Then again, it had been years since he had last seen this man. How did people suppose he act. Like nothing had happened? Like he was reuniting from an old friend from the past that he had left behind under friendly terms? While it was true that Cole was an old friend, their splitting apart had not been something that could be called friendly. Especially not when the man hadn't had a chance to understand fully just why he had been left behind. Truth be told, the letter might have cleared a few things up for him, but it was doubtful that Cole had been satisfied with just a letter to explain his friend just suddenly packing up and leaving everyone behind. Even if in that letter, said friend had confessed about having feelings for the man....Honestly it was little wonder why he was so damned nervous about meeting Cole again after so many years.

Sighing and roughly passing long, gracefully thin fingers through the softness of his straight strands of silver hair, much longer than what they had been in High School, Zane dropped his head against the headrest of the passenger seat with a soft groan. He wasn't stupid enough not to notice the sideways glance his manager gave him and while he knew he owed the older man an explanation about his sudden behavior, his mind was preoccupied with other thoughts Stressful thoughts. Thoughts of a man he had never thought he'd be seeing again....yet here he was going to meet him at the Agency that had begun to build him into who he was today. If Zane had been as young as he had the moment he had decided to leave his old life behind years ago, he'd have no quarrels in throwing in the towel and begging his manager to take them back home. However, Zane was no longer a young teenager anymore. He liked to think he had grown up and matured from that state of his life. He wasn't just going to run away. Not again. Not this time.

Nevertheless, that didn't mean that he wasn't nervous enough to jump in a hopefully subtle manner when they arrived at the location of the building. Rubbing his moist palms against the roughness of his casual jeans, Zane Durandal inhaled deeply as he opened the passenger seat of the sleek black car they had driven here in. Exhaling slowly, he forced his legs to move and carry him out of the safety of the vehicle.

"You good? What's got you so tied up in knots?" The calm, quiet yet icy monotonic tone of his manager startled him out of his thoughts as the older man followed his example and climbed out of the car. Emerald green eyes watching his priceless Idol with mild curiosity and a larger sense of concern that barely reflected on his stoic face.

"Nothing....it's nothing. Just a bit on edge about meeting someone new in the place where my Idol life started. I'm not exactly used to this kind of change when talking of a way to save the Agency of the man's grandfather" Zane spoke, keeping his tone light and good natured in an effort to draw his manager away from suspicion. While it worked for the most part by the small nod his manager gave him, Zane didn't fail to see how those green eyes still had a sense of inquisitive curiosity in them. Obviously, his manager knew him all to well to believe him completely on the spot. Then again, they've been in each other's lives for quite some time now, the knowing look in his manager's eyes shouldn't have surprised him.

Sighing a looking up at the rather large building the held the man from his past at the very top floor, Zane inhaled deeply and before he knew it, his legs were carrying him towards the building's front doors. Ideally, he should have at least noticed when his manager stopped to talk to their driver about how long and where to wait for them at, yet he didn't. Nor did he notice the hushed murmurs of the voices of all who stopped what they were doing to look in something akin to awe at the still rather young Singer who walked with effortless grace into their building and headed straight for the elevators. His mind was too distracted to worry about things he had gotten quite used to so far. Besides, it wasn't like he was going anywhere anytime soon. He was determined to see his self appointed task to an end and there was nothingness that was going to stop him from doing so.

Climbing into the elevator, cool blue eyes comfortably shielded by a pair of dark sunglasses that framed his nearly beautiful features perfectly, Zane blinked confused at the sound of his manager calling his name loudly from what seemed like a distance before the elevator doors closed. Blinking a few more times in confusion, Zane quickly looked to his side where his manager should have been flanking him and cursed when he found nothing but empty space. Without a doubt, his manager would definitely have a fun time biting his head off for leaving him behind this time. The thought itself had a long suffering sigh escaping his lips, but it couldn't be helped. He might as well get ready to face the music when they headed back home.

Arriving at the top floor of the building, Zane inhaled a deep, steadying breath before striding forward, hands in his pocket, to the office that had become familiar during the time he had worked here at the beginning of his career. Pulling a hand out of his pocket, he knocked on the door before opening it and walking forward when a voice answered him. Deeper and older than the voice he had once remembered, but still holding a hint of familiarity to it. Closing the door again, Zane did his best not to winch at the words tossed to him like daggers from Cole's mouth. A mouth that belonged to a face just as handsome as what he remembered, if not more now. Yet whatever attraction he might have felt and admittingly still felt, was smothered by the pain that Cole's words awoke in him. Obviously the man was far from in a forgiving mood.

"Come now, Mr. Haworth....I don't think our working together would be a sacrifice. I owe it to your grandfather to try and get the Agency he loved so dearly back to its feet. I wouldn't ever dream of turning my back on helping. However, I do agree, what happened between us and our past is irrelevant. What matters is the people that are depending on both of us to keep them afloat. Whatever you need help with, you need only ask" Zane greeted the man with a devilish quirk of his lips. A complete 360 of the turmoil he was feeling inside. While he didn't know whether he wanted to apologize profusely to Cole and beg him to understand or tuck his tail between his legs and run again, he didn't let that show. He was an Idol for Christ's sake. Every Idol knew how to develop and keep their Idol persona no matter what was happening around them. At least the good Idols did anyways. It was a perfectly sculpted mask that Zane wore flawlessly when he truly needed to and this was one of those times.

Walking over the the chair Cole had gestured for him to sit at, Zane sank down just in time for the bookkeeper to come in. While his eyes watched the conversation play out from behind his shaded lenses, Zane couldn't help amusement tickle his chest at the thought of Cole drawing a dick on those documents. It wasn't something he remembered too much about the other man, but he shouldn't be all that surprised either. It was probably just a way to burn off some of the frustration the man had of being in a field he knew nearly nothing about.

"Mr. Haworth, do I really seem like someone who would go out of his way to create scandals? I've been a singer for more than a handful of years and not once have I caused any problems for the agencies I have worked for. I can assure you, I will keep myself in line. After all, I am only here to help in what I can, I'm not here to cause you or your people drama. The world already knows everything it has to know about me....there's nothing I need to be hiding. I assure you of that. And while we might not be friends, at least not any longer according to you, that does not mean I will do my best to bring harm to you or the Celebrities here" Zane responded calmly enough, bypassing the mention of the new song name for him. He wasn't going to get into it with Cole. Not yet, not when he was just seeing him again for the first time in so many years. As much as it would probably be hard and it would probably kill him, he'd keep the peace as long as he could.

Blinking as a new face strolled into the room, complaining about heavens knew what, Zane winched before he could stop himself at the sight of the two kissing in front of him. While he couldn't have expected Cole to understand the note or even wait for him to come back, if he ever did, Zane couldn't stop the torrent of pain that stabbed his heart deep in his chest. It was with a will of steel that he didn't allow the hurt to show on his face nor his hidden eyes, yet that didn't stop the need to get out of the room as quickly as he could. When the woman finally pulled away from Cole, Zane harshly swallowed down whatever irritation he might have been feeling to flash the woman a truly charming smile as she walked up to him. Taking her hand gently in his, he shook it softly before bending just a bit to place a light kiss against her knuckles.

"Well it truly is a pleasure to meet another of my Fireflies, my Lady. I'm glad to hear my songs have made an impact in you when you listen to them. There is no greater pleasure for a singer to hear that his songs actually manage to touch the hearts of their fans" Zane greeted her, tone equally as smooth and charming as his smile. "I wouldn't say no to making a duet with the you, my Lady. However, I can't just do what I want. My life isn't really mine anymore. I answer to my manager and he would more than likely have an aneurysm if I agreed without his approval. And in regards to whatever Mr. Haworth might have said, he's probably just a little jealous is all. However, he can say anything he wants, it's all water under the bridge" he added, lifting his sunglasses to perch them on top of his head so he could wink playfully at her. In everyone's eyes, he would appear to be the perfect gentleman right now. Nearly like a real life Prince Charming.

Eyes widening a bit at the invitation to come for dinner, Zane parted his lips to answer only to have the door of the office open after a polite knock and his manager to stride in. By the sharpness on those forest green eyes, it didn't take a genius to know the man had heard enough of the conversation to know what was going on. "Unfortunately, Ma'am, Zane has other duties to attend to tonight. Our schedule is rather hectic as it is, we honestly can't afford to spend too much time enjoying the luxuries of friendly invitations. Perhaps in the future we might arrange a date that would work for all of us, but tonight he and the boys have their album to work on. It's something we simply can not postpone" Cecil commented as he walked in, eyes softening when he noticed the very subtle relaxing of Zane's shoulders the moment the Idol's eyes landed on his taller figure.

Getting to his feet smoothly, Zane gestured for Cecil to settle down in the chair he had been previously occupying before Zane sank down onto one of the armrests of the chair. His body slightly leaning into the comforting presence of the older male who adjusted his eye glasses and locked gazes with both Cole and his girlfriend. Face remaining stoic and devoid of emotion, almost appearing a bit intimidating, to be frank. "Mr. Haworth.....It's a pleasure to meet you and your lovely partner in person. Now as you know, we are all rather busy people, so why don't we get down the business, if you will. My Idol and the band have decided to offer a hand in order to assist you raise this Agency off the ground. While we have other important projects we are working on already, my boys will do whatever it takes to get your Agency on steady legs again. Now, did you have any ideas in mind as to how we will manage to do this?" Cecil questioned the CEO. Never once shifting his gaze when it locked on the younger male while Zane observed their conversation with subtle levels of anxiety and nervousness.

December 18, 2017

......

December 18, 2017

It raised his hackles when he heard Zane calling him ‘Mr. Haworth’ and for a moment he felt like freezing inside. It was odd, it felt wrong to hear someone who ones had been so close to him address him as if he was just another stranger, as if their past, their friendship and also his confusion and anger and pain had never happened but he didn’t let the other see that.

“It’s Doctor Haworth for you Mister Durandal!” he corrected him instead making sure to emphasise the “Doctor” and “Mister” in an obvious way.

For one it was his competitive nature that had always awoken in the other’s presence that led him to make clear that he had a title, a title that was meaningful and that required intelligence and knowledge to achieve in his field, and Zane hadn’t, hence he had beat him. And second and more importantly he wanted to give the other a taste of how it felt to be addressed in such a formal, impersonal manner by someone one had been through with a lot and who had held an important place in one’s life.

And if this man had ever loved him as he had claimed in his letter he should get it and Cole suspected that he had addressed him that way to make him feel bad on purpose.

Aside from the issue he had with the other calling him by his last name and having the audacity to forget the title he had worked that hard for, the man with the long smooth silver hair had apparently not lost his charm and his elegant, eloquent way of speaking and in addition to that the other’s speaking voice almost sounded musically as well.

Cole had always liked the other’s use of language and that was why he had picked on him for that and teased him with how softly he spoke when he first had met him. The blond himself was the polar opposite. He was brusque and blunt and in comparison to Zane his words came off like a fling with a hammer.

Maybe that was the reason why the other male’s way to speak had been attractive to him. And when he realised that he indeed had deemed it attractive he wanted to bury that thought alive again but instead he memorised that he had basically picked on the singer in the past for things that had attracted him to him and that he had actually liked a lot.

To not think about that any further he decided to address what the man had said about their work and cooperation and working for that company not being a sacrifice.

“I wasn’t suggesting that you saw it as such or that it would be any sacrifice to you but it is to me. Even though I am granting my grandfather his wish by doing so I am sacrificing a lot for this. I sacrificed solving the mysteries of the universe, my research, my chance of changing our view of the world and winning a Nobel Prize in the future all for making money with a bunch of pretty faced sell outs that expose themselves to the public to distract the people from their own boring unfortunate daily lives and show them a marvellous fake world created by producers, managers and other moneybags, one of which happened to be my grandfather.” Haworth exclaimed leaving no doubt how much he disliked that business his grandfather had loved so much and that he had only agreed to enter because he loved his grandfather.

“I’m not assuming that you’ll be able to comprehend this since no one in your business has been able to yet.” He added before they were interrupted by the bookkeeper.

The Chemist had found the way the other had walked over to the chair he had directed him to oddly graceful in a way and he had caught himself checking out the man’s arse. The worst thing was that he was checking out men’s bodies frequently and automatically and whenever that happened he stared at the next woman and made himself think positive things about her body because he had hoped that he could retrain his brain in this way and he also had tried other measures but it hadn’t helped. The only thing that had ever come from it had been that a hysterical woman had called him a pervert and had slapped him because he had been staring at her too openly. He still hadn’t thought that it had been justified at all to hit him for just looking though.

Sitting in his executive chair he sat higher up than the other – what made him more comfortable as in the past he had been the much taller one of the two and now he was roughly 1,9 centimetres shorter than Zane; that battle he had apparently lost – looking down at him. “Dr. Haworth and I don’t know if you look like someone who would cause a scandal but if you haven’t changed much then I can at least tell that you’re unpredictable and prone to make hasty and radical decisions based on your feelings without thinking it through rationally or taking anyone but yourself into consideration and that is material for scandals and dramas of all kinds.” He said with an earnest expression before he let out probably the thousands sigh on that day. “But maybe you’ve changed so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.”

While he was French kissing his girlfriend and inappropriately for any guests fondled her body he hadn’t even been aware that this might hurt Zane and he didn’t notice how uncomfortable it made him. He never noticed how uncomfortable it made the people around him when he publically made out with Bianca. The man also didn’t expect that Zane really cared all too much after all as he had abandoned him, his best friend, anyway. So how could that possibly affect him?

He listened when the handsome singer who was loved by millions of people all around the globe flattered his girlfriend and was so “nice” that it made Cole worry that the other male would slip on the trail of slime his words were leaving. “Crawler!” he coughed in a pretty obvious way and it was something that he would have done back in the day when they had been in school as well.

The blond was almost losing interest in the conversation between the two of them when the silver haired explained to the blond woman that he had basically given away the control over his life and himself and then he heard the comment on him most likely being jealous which made Bianca giggle. Cole however snorted. “Jealous? Pah! I’m not jealous, have you seen one of her music videos. It would be bad if I was the jealous type.” He let Zane know and it was true that he wasn’t feeling jealous if Bianca had positive things to say about other men or showed herself almost naked in her music videos making out with some actors or dancers in them. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t the jealous type because he could be really territorial and jealous when he had strong feelings and/or sexual interest in someone.

What made him indifferent to guys approaching Bianca and Bianca finding another male impressive was that he had no romantic feelings for her nor did he desire her sexually. When he chased away guys from her he was playing a role more than anything else. The blond man knew jealousy though, he had been jealous whenever another boy who hadn’t belonged to their group of friends had been getting along well with Zane, he had wanted him for his own and he had actually shown some of the reactions he was faking for Bianca now.

Before Zane had written him that letter Cole had thought that he had just been overly possessive about his friend and hadn’t wanted him to replace him by finding another best friend but when he had reflected after the confession of the other man he had much to his dislike figured out what it really was and that he had been in love with him too and had seen a threat in those guys.

His girlfriend dragged him out of his thoughts when she gently patted the singer’s arm and talked to him in an empathising and understanding tone:” That’s unfortunate! Managers, I know, I have been there. I have fired mine years ago, I actually manage myself and I have done quite well so far and I am proud of being a self-made woman.”

The comforting words spoke in the high-pitched voice of Bianca got overshadowed by Coles bass though. “So you’ve given up your independence and are now a marionette without your own will. And there I was not wanting to have any sympathy for you and yet I almost feel sorry for you more than for myself for being stuck in that stupid job.” He said with a dry laugh and he didn’t see Bianca approaching him.

“Oh sweetie, don’t be sooo mean to Zane, you really don’t have to be jealous, you know how much I will always love and adore only you.” She assured him in her good will and Cole couldn’t even be mad at her when she pulled his cheek and kissed his forehead what left a mark of her red lipstick he was instantly vigorously wiping away with the sleeve of his expensive black suit.

When the manager entered the stage Cole couldn’t stop himself from commenting:” And here comes the nanny!” even though this was not really professional. Then again it didn’t really matter anyway because he really wasn’t a professional CEO.

He started to laugh when the older man explained to Bianca that Zane had no time for dinner with someone like them and that they could find a date where “all” of them were available. “You accompany him to private invitations in his private life? Do you also watch him while he sleeps, makes out and wipes his butt or is he able and allowed to do that without you and your permission?” the blunt man responded to that and it was something really typical for him. His dear lady mother even had used to apologise for her son by saying that it sometimes seemed that he just had no filter and just spoke what was on his mind. The woman had always searched for possible explanations as to why Cole was different from the other members of their family while at the same time being extremely protective about him because he was her only child. His girlfriend however was pouting because her invitation had gotten turned down.

Cole was staring the manager down, frog green into forest green, as there was something about that man he didn’t like. Or maybe more than one thing, maybe it was much more complex than the blond was even aware of who just thought that he really had an aversion to those manager types. He leaned his head back over the back of his huge chair and was obviously annoyed. “Doctor! Doctor Haworth!” he corrected the manager. “What is it that makes you people think that just because I have let myself down to that job I wouldn’t be a Doctor of Chemistry anymore regardless, because I am!”

The blond leaned forward again and stared directly into the manager’s eyes with a smirk when the other asked him whether he had any ideas as to how one could make the agency rise to the top again. “Of course not! I can tell you the secrets of life though or built you a chemical weapon of mass destruction!” the man said obviously amused for some reason, maybe his amusement came from desperation facing that probably hopeless situation. His grandfather had made an irrational decision, a decisions based on his feelings for his grandson the record company and family pride and it made the company step onto its own tail.

At this point Bianca was stepping in, positioning herself onto the desk and crossing her legs. “I have plenty though. The company could organise a charity festival for example where the greatest stars and musicians under contract at our agency will perform for the good cause and it could be broadcasted life on the greatest music channel. Or we make a large casting show with really important idols in the jury to find new promising talents. And how about .....” That was when Cole got too bored to listen and just let the blond woman who looked like a playmate handle it.

The Chemist thought that she would be a much better CEO to that company than he was and his grandfather should have chosen her for the job not him, she was definitely more qualified and he could have still done what he really wanted and was good at. After all she successfully managed and produced herself since years and she was creative too. People tended to think that she was shallow, dumb and underestimated her because she was way too enthusiastic, girly and actually sold porn in the disguise of songs but he knew that she was not stupid. He had come to appreciate her during all the years they had been in a relationship by now and he definitely had some sort of love for her, unfortunately no romantic or sexual feelings but purely platonic love.

Not focussing on the conversation anymore he got the urge to continue his Lego constructing and had to keep himself from doing so because that would have been way too obvious after all. So his eyes wandered over to Zane and he looked into the deep blue ocean that were his former best friends eyes for a moment before the green eyes of his continued to travel over his figure another time. Every time he did this he hoped to come to another conclusion – what was retarded, he knew it – and hoped that he would just not be attracted anymore. It made him angry again. Angry because his mind was telling him to be mad at him for having brought that massive confusion into his life, for having made him aware of this feeling and then leaving him like that without any chance of clarifying anything while his hormones were screaming at him to pursue him, to get him, to make him his!

That whole nightmare that he had thought he had left behind had started with Zane and now that he was back he feared that it would mess with his mind in all those confusing and gay ways again. Zane’s letter had made him aware of his feelings towards men after all and he had been fighting and denying his feelings for men since then. He had liked to blame it all on the silver haired man while deep inside he of course knew that sooner or later he would have had to deal with ... THIS ... regardless.

Because while his feelings for Zane sure had been the strongest he had crushed on another man after that, someone from his research team and it had been pure torture and it had made him fuck Bianca in the laboratory to get caught to let the other’s see he wasn’t gay but no one had ever suspected him to be because he had never said anything and had just acted towards that man as always.

Torn between anger, attraction and nostalgia he looked at the other and he just wanted to send him away, to tell him to disappear again so that he wouldn’t have to go through that shit he put him through again but of course he wouldn’t he was too rational that and his feelings didn’t matter in the workplace. Cole had actually stopped counting the years it had taken him to get over it, to leave it behind and to not see and imagine him whenever he had sex with a woman back then. He had even been glad when he finally only imagined random blokes while pounding the girl he dated at that point and he had hoped that that would finally go away again too but it hadn’t. He was only able to get an erection with women due to technical stimulation and he could only remotely please a girl if he imagined them as men in bed. All of that made sex a double edged sword for him. On one hand he always felt validated because he had participated in a heterosexual act and on the other hand he got depressed because imagining men while doing it with your girlfriend was definitely gay. The blond had been shocked when after two years of their relationship Bianca had finally found the courage to tell him that he shouldn’t treat her lady bits like a cock and not be so rough with her as if she was another man. This had been the ultimate punch into his face and he had felt a little humiliated as well as exposed.

The CEO forced himself to listen again and get into the conversation as if he had listened the whole time. “I liked Bianca’s idea with the charity festival. We should do it. If it doesn’t help the record company it at least benefits some people who need it and isn’t in vain.” He voiced his opinion and his girlfriend seemed happy about him liking her idea.

December 19, 2017

"Actually if it's all the same to you, Doctor Haworth...I prefer to be called Zane. Mister Durandal makes me sound like my grandfather and father and I loathe having any attachment to them. The name I can't control, but truly, call me Zane. It's not like you haven't done that before. Besides, I can't promise that I'll answer to anything other than that" Zane responded coolly, ignoring the other tingle of hurt the rippled through him at the way Cole flung words in his direction. While he was impressed that the man had finally achieved at least some of his dreams by getting a Doctorate, it didn't mean that it hurt less to have the man adamant that he address him by his title. He realized deep down that it was just a habit brought forth by the competitiveness of their nature and how they had always strained to gain one goal over the other in their youth. However, that didn't mean that it didn't bother him years later, to have lost the familiarity they had once shared. True, Zane had started it all off by addressing Cole as "Mr", but years in this industry taught one manners if nothing else. It was simply a way he spoke, or rather, learned how to speak.

Blinking at the words that spilled out of the young CEO's mouth, Zane exhaled a heavy breath and offered the blond male a small exasperated twitch of the lips. "My, is that what you really think of us? I would hope you don't let any of the celebrities working for this Agency hear you say things like that. While it's true that what we do won't save the world like your beloved field probably would, its important in its own right, Doctor Haworth. While you see us as worthless sell outs, our fans see us as beacons in a dark, starless night. Believe it or not, Doctor, without music we are nothing. Music is just as important as any other field out there and those in this industry sacrifice plenty to give to the people in need. So while your science and numbers might create vast levels of technology, our industry puts souls and feelings into what would have been a empty, void-like world. It would do you good, not to overlook that small fact.....being so against this field won't make your new job any easier for anyone. And there's no point on blaming others over what can't be controlled" Zane stated, shaking his head as he said those words. It was a wonder how Cole had survived for as long as he had so far as CEO of this Agency. With that mindset, he was making things way harder on himself than they had to be at the given time.

"Just a word of advice and whether you want it take it or not, it's up to you, but don't let others hear you say things like that. It'll make finding those willing to stick around and help you out, all the more harder. You might not be happy right now about what's been dumped onto your lap, but you might as well suck it up. The problem isn't going anywhere and you can't run from it. Might as well do your best to face it" the singer added after a moment, cool blue eyes studying the handsome features of the slightly shorter man. Knowing Cole, he would probably take his words and fling them out of the closest window, but Zane didn't care. He made his opinion and point clear. He wasn't going to fight his old friend, nevertheless, he wasn't going to allow him to talk trash of the field that had taken him in and shown him a love and open welcomeness he had rarely ever seen before. Cole might not understand the importance of this field, but Zane did and he hoped that somewhere along the way, Cole would lose his bitterness towards this new job. Fingers crossed, that was.

"As I've already said, Doctor Haworth....I won't bring any scandals or drama to this Agency. The fans and media know all there is to know about me. I have my band mates and others to think of now and I won't throw out what I've worked to gain for myself throughout these years. You won't find any scandals circulating around me, you have my word" Zane said calmly, crossing his arms as he leaned further back into his chair. The public already knew of his open sexual orientation and while there had been a bit of an adjusting period at first, his sexuality was openly welcomed soon enough. Zane meant it when he said that there would be no scandals around him, he had nothing to hide after all. Aside from his still present and longing feelings for Cole, his fans knew him inside and out. He had been seen with both female and male partners throughout the years and no one had batted a lash. Shit, his fans even rallied behind certain pairings they thought he looked good within. It was honestly something that amused him quite a bit. Nevertheless, for the most part, his Idol life had been a clean and relaxed one. So Cole didn't have anything to worry about as far as Zane was concerned.

Exchanging pleasantries with Bianca was trying at best but Zane kept up the appearance of the perfect sort of gentleman. He had been molded to expel charisma in everything he did in this field and there had yet been a time in which he had failed to do just that. This was no different. Though it hurt like a hellish stab to the heart to watch his best friend and love interest grope and make out with the woman in front of him, he would never allow his mask to slide. Not even for a second. However, when Zane heard that familiar word from their past come out of Cole's lips, he couldn't help but shoot the male an unimpressed, dry glare. "Crawler, my ass. I'm just better at this than you are" he couldn't help but toss back, no hesitation in his voice as he put the blond in his place in a subtle way. Zane had always been the silver tongue of the pair and that had not faded in the least. So while Cole felt the need to toss a term from the past out into the open, Zane had no issues retaliating with a few words himself.

"Yes...I suppose I can say that I've seen some of her videos. They are rather exotic but nevertheless enjoyable to watch. Her style is different from the styles I'm familiar with but like I said, her music is catchy. Though I do suppose it would be bad if you were jealous, Doctor Haworth. Thank the heavens your woman has such an understanding partner" Zane answered, forced the last few words out of his throat even though it felt like he was swallowing razor blades. He had seen a handful of Bianca's music videos but never had found the appeal in them. While he would not state his disinterest openly in her face, he knew why it would be worse if Cole had been anything near jealous. The man would have probably fought off numerous men if he thought he was in danger of losing his girlfriend. Girlfriend. That term when associated with Cole had sadness dampen his mood for just a heartbeat until he pushed it away. If Cole was happy with her, then who was Zane to moan about what the blond man had found in such a unique woman.

Glancing between the two blonde's and their reactions to his statement about his limited freedom and management, Zane exhaled a small huff of breath as amusement tickled through him. "I'm not sure why you'd need to offer me any sympathy....freedom or not, I love my job...even if you think it stupid. To each their own, after all. Either way, my manager isn't that bad. He's actually rather fun to be around and I wouldn't ever dream of firing him. I don't think I'd be able to survive without having him around to nag at the boys and me. He's strict but we love him all the same. He's family now, and you never give up on family" he said with a shrug to accompany his words. Cecil wasn't the easiest man to fully understand. There were times when his glares could freeze a entire room full of people if they had done anything to piss him off. However, Zane truly enjoyed having the man around and he knew that the others did too. Cecil kept Zane's actual family at bay for the most part and he was truly a giant cuddle bear and a softie. In the eyes of the singer, there would never be a better manager than Cecil.

Turning his gaze slightly away from the scene of affection between the pair in front of him, Zane couldn't be happier when Cecil finally arrived in the office. Once they had arranged themselves comfortably enough, the manager turned his gaze to Cole. Not once did his expression change despite the less than polite words flung in his direction. In fact, the only thing that appeared to change was the flicker of amusement that touched his eyes as he parted his lips to respond. "I don't know, you tell me. Wouldn't it be proper if I accompany my lover to sleep, private events and make out with him when the need be? I thought that was what was required to be in a relationship but you know....I could be wrong. Who knows. All I know is that Zane belongs to me and I can do just about anything we feel works in our relationship....aside from the little wiping the ass bit. I do it on occasion, but other than that, Zane is pretty good at taking care of his own pretty ass. You don't have to worry about that" Cecil responded, tone as cool and crisp as the winter breeze though in a heartbeat his eyes softened when they flickered up the meet the blue gaze of the singer.

For his part, it took Zane a rather large effort to not show his surprise at what his manager had just said. So they were playing this card now, huh? While the pair had dated sometime in the past and they had been together longer than Zane's other relationships throughout his career, the pair had broken up years ago. Both had agreed that it would be best to simply keep the friendship between them instead of stride for balancing a romance between their work. While Zane still had affections for Cecil and vise versa, he knew they wouldn't try to be a couple again. Nevertheless, his fans still "shipped" them on most occasions and the pair would use the whole "dating card" when they deemed it appropriate. Cecil obviously felt like now was one of those times and Zane wasn't about to protest. He needed a little respite at the moment and playing along with Cecil on this, was just the space he needed. Besides, neither blond would ever know the truth so what was the point in not hiding himself behind the protection of the card Cecil had just pulled out.

"I'm sure you are, Doctor Haworth, you have my most honest apologizes for the mistake on your name. You will have to forgive me if I hurt your ego. However, what we need right now is not a Chemist but a CEO......like it or not, you're going to have to grow accustomed to this new stage in life if you want to save your grandfather's legacy. We're going to need your help and input as much as everyone else's, so you might need to start adapting to this new field sooner rather than later, Doctor Haworth....or I'm afraid that we won't have much left to save" Cecil said rather bluntly, eyes never wavering from their cold stare at the CEO of the agency. It was clear that he wasn't impressed by the man, not even in the least and he wasn't afraid to show it. If by the introduction he had received with the blonde's sarcastic tone was anything to go by, they had a long road ahead of them.

"Love, be nice. He's still new at this, Ceci, we can't put too much pressure on him just yet" Zane murmured out a gently reprimand to the man pretending they were still involved. Lifting hand, he gently carded his fingers through Cecil oak colored, short hair as the older man grunted out a breath and relaxed a bit under his ministrations. There might be no romance between them anymore but their friendship, just like the friendship of all the band members, remained as strong and as unbreakable as it had from day one. That being said, physical signs of affection were no stranger amongst them. Others might find it odd, but to them it was perfectly normal.

Listening to Bianca list ideas after ideas off about how they could come about saving the Agency, Zane found his eyes gravitating to Cole. Locking eyes for just a moment, he felt his body heat spike when those green eyes scanned over his body was obvious interest. It wasn't something he had been expecting. When he had left their High School and town, he had fully thought that Cole would hate him for leaving him the letter containing his emotions for the other man in them. While this reuniting between them had been less than pleasant, he hadn't expected to see the man actually appear attracted to him. It was shocking to say the least and it awoke all the feelings he had forced to the back of his mind the moment he had left his past behind. A small, naive part of him wanted to bask in the glow of the interest of the other male. Wanted to relish in the thought that after so many years, he had run for no reason. That Cole found him attractive and there was hope that the other man wasn't as straight as Zane had always feared.

However, when his eyes flickered over to Bianca, all his hopes were smothered again. Cole was with this woman, had been with this woman for a number of years now. There was no way that he wasn't straight. It was just the stupid, childhood part of his mind that tried to convince him otherwise. There was no way his old friend was attracted to him, not with the woman he had by his side now. So while it hurt just as much as it did all those years ago when he had first run away, Zane pushed any hopes he had for a relationship with Cole firmly away and focused on the situation on hand. This was for this Agency, not for himself or Cole. He would keep this professional, even if it killed him. Besides, he was supposed to be in a relationship with Cecil, fake or not, so he shouldn't even consider playing with thoughts of the blond across from him. That should be the least of his problems with everything going on.

"I agree. The charity festival would probably be the best out of all those ideas. It's simple enough that we could start working to set it up within the next few days. While we'll need to prepare for it and inform all those that will be involved, I'm sure it would probably work better than what we all are expecting. What do you think, Zane?" Cecil asked, looking at the silver haired singer perched on the arm of the chair as said singer thoughtfully continued to massage his fingers gently into Cecil's scalp. When those blue eyes met his and shown with the open gleam of affection, they were clearly portraying the image they gave off of a happy couple, Zane grinned at him and nodded.

"I wouldn't say no to that. In fact, I'm sure I could call in some old favors from other singers out there. They won't tie themselves to this Agency but they can make surprise appearances through the festival to rise the popularity of it even more. It would work to our advantage. And I can also release some of the new songs we've been working on when we get the festival all set up and ready. The fans will love it and rally behind this Agency with more support. I'll get started letting people know on social media when we get home. Might as well do our best to make this thing a massive hit" Zane answered, eyes softening when Cecil nodded and graced him with just a hint of a soft smile back. Truly, to those looking in from the outside, they looked like quite the adorable couple.

"When were you thinking of having the festival?" Zane lifted his gaze as he asked to glance between Bianca and Cole.

December 20, 2017

A cold smile appeared on his face while he shook his head unbelieving at the other’s presumptuous ways. It had been Zane who had chosen to address him in a formal manner regardless of how they had called themselves in the past and to treat him as if he was a stranger by doing so and now that man complained about Cole calling him Mister Durandal.

“What a fast change of mind considering that it was you who decided that we should address each other in a formal and professional way first. Apparently you still don’t know what you want, do you?” the blond responded to that but didn’t show any sign of recognising the other male’s wish of switching back to acknowledging each other as more than strangers who had business with each other. Zane couldn’t just decide to do something and then decide that he wanted to have it the other way and Cole was no man who accepted being fooled around with in any way.

In the upcoming conversation Zane used his title just as he had told him but it didn’t feel less wrong that he called him by his last name and Cole actually didn’t like it at all but he wouldn’t row back from it and would just try to overhear it. He was exhilarated at the other’s advice not to let any other celebrity hear him talking like that and his lips formed a grin that look everything but genuinely joyful. “And why not? Those people have let me know what they think of me quite openly, so why shouldn’t I return the favour? If they can tell me, the nerdy loser, to crawl back into the laboratory and play with my chemistry set I can tell them that they are merely shallow products used for dulling and soothing the people by distracting them from what’s really important. This way we all know what we really think about each other!” He dismissed it and listened to the rest of the other’s hymn of praise to himself and his working field and it made him start laughing.

“Of course, you selling illusions to people is equally as important and a huge accomplishment for humankind as Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity or Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.” Cole remarked sarcastically still laughing at that as he found it rather impudent to compare some pop stars to men who changed or had changed the history and understanding of mankind completely.

Haworth’s eyes narrowed and his face turned stern when the other told him to piss on his happiness and ‘suck it up’ and a twisted smirk appeared on his displeased face. “You of all people are telling me to suck it up and that problems don’t disappear when you run from them? That’s a joke right?” he snorted dismissively. The blond Chemist who was now a CEO crossed his arms and his green eyes looked at the other in a fierce way. “As you might have noticed I’m not trying to run from anything. If I were a runaway I wouldn’t have even taken this burden to begin with and I would definitely not be in this office anymore. I am not the type to run from problems, that’s your part, I try to find solutions!” he informed Zane in a calm way but his words seemed to be frozen because he found that man telling him something like that hypocritical. And Cole wasn’t fond of that.

For some reason it surprised him that the singer would still react to him calling him a crawler as he had expected him to just ignore him because he was too pretty and famous for exchanging verbal punches with him now. “Better at what? Sliding on the slime trail your dishonest friendliness leaves everywhere?” he countered again with a broad smile on his face. The man had to notice that he still liked doing that.

Bianca was truly happy about Zane liking her videos and she thought that they might as well actually make a song together in the future. “Have you heard it, he finds my videos entertaining!” she turned around to Cole who just gave her a thumbs up because he doubted that the silver haired had found her videos to be anything but sexual. Having known the other for so long he could tell that the content his girlfriend created wasn’t what he enjoyed and actually the blond didn’t enjoy his girlfriend’s music and videos either but he was hard to please and while Bianca was a lot and was a decent singer she was not Richard Wagner, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart or Vivaldi.

Cole rested his head on his hand when the other was trying to convince him that having no personal freedom didn’t matter because his job was that great. “You know what, not caring about the own personal freedom and independence being taken away and giving it up willingly is actually even more pitiable.” He just said before he had to listen to the other romanticising his manager what made the Chemist curl his lips and roll his eyes in an irritated way. He hadn’t even met that manager and he was still rubbing him the wrong way. Even after all those years the blond didn’t appreciate Zane talking about another man in such a way for some reason, he should rather only talk about him in such a manner.

Then there was something that made him laugh his joyless cynic laugh another time. “Sure, you would never give up family but close friends you ditch as if they are rubbish.” He exclaimed not believing what values Zane wanted to present him as his own that didn’t match his experiences with the other in the slightest.

Hearing that manager calling Zane his lover made him feel as if someone had given him an electroshock internally and when the information had sunken in he felt infuriated by it and in his mind he was roaring and wanting to fight him away like an alpha wolf his rival. Cole’s body language switched from careless and bored to dominant and threatening, while his face stayed the way it was just with the change that hostility was rising up in his eyes. He was an incredibly territorial, dominant, possessive guy after all, not for Bianca but when he was into someone he definitely was ready to fight and some people might call that instinct jealousy.

While Bianca was looking at her boyfriend who had risen in attractiveness to her due to the demeanour he had now Cole put on a smug smile. “I apologise for not knowing your arrangement. I have thought you were a professional manager who wouldn’t be having a sexual affair with his protégé. After all you should be experienced in your field since you have been working as a manager for musicians for how long, forty or forty-five years? But I guess that is yet another example for the decadency in the music industry.” he spoke in a calm tone his eyes piercing into those of the older man.

His eyes went over to the silver haired fellow and for a second he thought that the other had shown surprise at the whole scene that manager had created and he remembered the words the other had told him before that his fans knew all about him. And if his fans knew, so did the internet and Cole would figure out what kind of relationship those two had going on. He would gather his information and then would strike. The wolf inside of his head was howling.

Haworth wouldn’t let him have Zane, he wasn’t even good enough for him and he would show the singer that he was the better man and the better mating option and hence the better choice.

What the hell was he even thinking there? He was straight and with Bianca and he should not care whether that manager he disliked had something going on with the celebrity but he definitely did. Those feelings he had buried long ago hadn’t died, they were still there and the physical attraction was even stronger than he could remember. Cole wanted him even though he was still angry and disappointed at him for having abandoned him in such a way with such a letter and then getting it on with this damn manager guy. This was just irksome.

Cole didn’t blink, he didn’t move, his eyes just stared at the other man like a wolf on the scout. “If you call the wish to have your place in society, your title, you have worked your arse off to achieve respected a hurt ego than that is a problem with your twisted perception and has nothing to do with me.” The man said emotionlessly. When the other thought it was a good idea of giving him a speech and telling him what he had to do the blond laughed a cold laugh. “Aren’t we smart!? Applause to our Captain Obvious for the great realisation that this company doesn’t need a Chemist but a CEO, I would have never come to this conclusion without him he is a true genius.” He mocked him in his sarcastic way and amusement was added to the hostility in his eyes.

“Why don’t you visit my grandfather – you know, the man your client holds to such high regards – in hospital and give him your little speech and tell him what to do. He was the one to choose a Chemist and not a CEO as his follow-up after all.”

The blond was referring to Zane as the other’s client on purpose. He would never call him his partner or lover or boyfriend and he wouldn’t call this a relationship as well. The man refused to acknowledge this man’s bond with his former best friend and he openly demonstrated that and would do so at every chance he got.

There was a beast in his chest and it was running rampage when he heard the silver haired male referring to that guy as ‘his love’ and was caressing him in such a gentle manner. He screwed up his nose as if he had seen something gross, like vomit for instance, and the fingers of his right hand that were laying on the wooden desk dug into it to keep himself from speaking his mind and making clear how he stood on this as it was his way. Cole was assertive and he was really opposed to letting that happen without stepping in and making his interest clear but in this situation he just shouldn’t, it wouldn’t lead to anything good but it had the potential to ruin his relationship with Bianca and to keep Zane from helping his grandfathers company as well. Beside that he wouldn’t look so straight anymore after that and he wasn’t gay ... he wasn’t .... or rather he didn’t want to be... even though he was... he wouldn’t acknowledge that as well! So he had to keep quiet and let it happen.

Cole’s frog green eyes didn’t leave Zane alone not even when his manager spoke. The man was glad that the guy seemed to agree with him on the festival thing because that would mean that he would get off his case and he wouldn’t have to spend too much time with this manager with the female sounding name anymore. The sooner that man disappeared the better!

Apparently he had been glad too early though and he felt how even his extremely short nails were leaving marks on the table when he saw Zane massaging the other’s head and those affectionate loving ways they looked at each other and the beast was raging inside of him again, ready to riot and destroy.

The CEO wasn’t used to sitting there and sucking up what he didn’t like without protesting and it took him more discipline than he usually had to fight the urge to stand up and bark out what he wanted to tell right into their faces. Since he couldn’t do it and doing nothing was no satisfying option either, he thought for a moment what he could do and then his eyes fell onto his girlfriend who was sitting on the desk smiling happily.

Haworth wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her over the desk onto his lap. “Huch!” she exclaimed in surprise when she was pulled over but then she giggled playfully and started fondling and stroking the tie he wore and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. Cole didn’t look at her though; he stared right into Zane’s eyes while his hand was running over Bianca’s curvy body as if he wanted to tell him what he could have gotten from him and didn’t get because he decided to run from him and then to be with that older man instead of him and there was something reproachful in his glance.

The blond refused to stop glaring at the other male even when he spoke and worded that he liked the idea too what made Bianca proud because all three of them had decided in favour of her idea. “Good. I’ll call the marketing and advertisement department then.” He added in an indifferent tone of voice trying to ignore the sweet looks those two were exchanging which only pained him and with paining him enrage him. Just as he had predicted Zane was already messing with his mind and his feelings again and he also caused him pain another time. Being in the other’s presence was not good for him, not like this. And there apparently was no chance of ever going back to before the letter and before Zane had been that cold towards him.

He was about to dial the number of the marketing and advertisement department when he heard the singer asking a question apparently for the both of them. “That depends on how long it takes to organise a festival what I don’t know.” Cole answered and there Bianca was stepping in again. “I would suggest mid-December. Now we have the first November and our team can organise this festival within over a month without a problem if we will be working hard, what we always do. December is also strategically good because it’s the perfect month for charity events and people like to attend and watch such things during the holiday season. I think it will be great! And I will do everything to promote this myself too. It might perfectly go hand in hand with my new Christmas record promotion.” She explained with a joyful face and one could see that she was excited about it.

Without being aware his girlfriend had addressed another issue that had caused him some tiring discussion and could probably lead to some trouble. Someone had expressed the concern that Bianca’s Christmas record could potentially outrage certain people because of how sexual it was and cause some controversial attention. Hence they had wanted Cole to censor her or stop the entire album but he had not. Probably the only thing he had always liked about that record company was that they didn’t censor their artists works and granted them their freedom to express themselves how they wanted – even though the company distanced itself from some of the content – but he would never start with the censorship and now his girlfriend’s sexually explicit Christmas record would be available in all stores and online.

Cole had again made an attempt of calling the responsible department when Bianca stood up from his lap and took his hand with the phone. “Talking about my Christmas record, I have to pay the boys from the advertisement department another visit about that, I can inform them about our new project, I think they will love it, so you don’t have to call them.” She offered and the blond male shrugged. “Even better!” he said and gave her a nice slap to go onto her arse making her giggle coquettish again before she winked and blew a kiss his way.

When she passed Zane and Cecil she patted the singers shoulder and complimented them:” You’re such a cute couple.” What made the wolf in Cole’s mind growl angrily and he wanted to shout “No, they are not!” but he didn’t do it, even though he really disliked that his girlfriend had fallen him into his back like that. It was treason! No it wasn’t! How on earth was she supposed to know how bad that made him feel and that it had been like a kick into his guts to hear that when it shouldn’t actually bother him? He was supposedly straight and with Bianca. If she had known how he felt, she would actually be the one who with the right to feel that Haworth had wronged her.

December 20, 2017

"Oh I know what I want just fine. I've found where I belong and I'm staying there. However, there's a difference between being indecisive and manners, Doctor Haworth. Something I'm sure your "oh so smart" brain fails to understand. Just because I address you by your title instead of your first name, doesn't mean I don't know what I want. Manners make man, Doctor Haworth. I do apologize if I'm under the belief that whatever friendship we might have had in the past is rather strained due to the circumstances. I'd rather play it safe than overstep boundaries when seeing you again after so many years" Zane couldn't help firing back with a heavy sense of sarcasm in his tone as well during those last few sentences. He wasn't going to assume everything was just peachy between them and stroll into Cole's office with no hint of self preservation. That was about as stupid as running into oncoming traffic. Whether Cole liked it or not, Zane would be taking caution while in the blonde's presence...especially with how Cole had reacted after landing eyes on him.

"Yes, I'm sure that's the best way to handle the situation. Let's sit back and call eachother names on any occasion we get. Since you all are clearly still in elementary school, it should work divinely for everyone in the end. I suppose it would be too much to expect you to be the bigger person and turn the blind eye to name calling. Then again, you were always quick to be provoked, so I'm not entirely sure why I would even consider finding the name calling at all surprising" Zane murmured as he rolled his eyes at the thought itself. Honestly, he had expected more from Cole when he saw him again after leaving so many years ago. Yet here was the same somewhat volatile man he had left behind in High School. Yes he had aged and managed to gather a Title for himself, but Cole was still Cole. Never truly being able to keep a cool head and always engaging in situations that he sometimes didn't need too. It was a wonder he had managed to keep this Agency afloat for as long as he had. Those that worked for him now truly must have the patience of saints to deal with this all the time.

"I'm not going to argue with you when you're bullheaded in your belief that my profession is nothing compared to your own. Believe what you will, Doctor Haworth, everyone has a freedom to their own opinions after all. There's no point in me wasting my breath in arguing with you any further" the Idol replied with an easy, careless shrug of the shoulders. Zane knew what he believed in and he knew he loved his field of profession just like everyone who worked as a celebrity did. No matter what had gone on between Cole and him in the past, he still wouldn't waste his time fighting over a point the man would never willingly see. He had known Cole well enough to understand that when the male had his mind set on something, it was rarely changed. So while others might find the need to force Cole to understand the importance of their roles as Celebrities, Zane honestly couldn't be bothered at this point. He had other things to worry about.

"Well at least I can rest assured that you're willing to handle these issues like a grown man" Zane murmured though he sounded rather sarcastic when he said that. He was all about being professional and keeping the peace but there was only so much verbal bashing he was willing to take before he retaliated with some of his own. While he could understand and justify Cole's anger towards him, he wasn't about to let the other man walk all over him. Enough was just about enough. "We aren't talking about what might have happened in the past. The past is the past and that's where it's going to stay. We're talking about the here and now. I'm not planning on running anytime soon and even if you hate it here, at least people can learn to rely on you as the time goes by. So make the best of it and maybe, just maybe you might be able to find a solution to help you hate this place a little less. Shit, you might even find someone who could replace you somewhere along the way and let you go back to doing what you really love....which sounds to me, is saving the world. Not that I care much about that" he snapped quietly, blue eyes gaining an irritated flare in them as they stared the male down. Zane's patience was not unwavering and Cole would have to relearn that the hard way it seemed.

"I'm surprised you even know what friendliness is, Doctor Haworth. I was under the impression that friendliness was a foreign term to you. That's probably why you think I'm being "dishonest" about it. I'm sure Lady Bianca would be excited to teach you all about friendliness, then you'll come to the understanding that I'm being quite honest with it. Though I won't cross my fingers" Zane responded rather drily as he snapped an unimpressed look over to the CEO. Cole might still like acting like a child and throwing whatever verbal punches he could, but that didn't mean that Zane would let him get off without some punches of his own. Fame might have made him gain a certain sense of maturity and he had grown a whole deal from his High School years, however, that didn't mean he had forgotten how to put Cole in his place from time to time. Especially when the blonde did his best to rile him up.

"Perhaps to you it's pitiable....though I can't imagine why you would care anyways. What I do with my life is up to me, you shouldn't be concerning yourself over it. As far as I can tell, you have plenty to worry about already" the singer remarked in an almost lazy tone of voice. It was like everything he said was answered to with sarcasm and mocking tones from the CEO. While Zane had been expecting a less than friendly meeting with his former best friend, he hadn't really being expecting so much hostility. Even if he did somewhat deserve it, he wasn't going to take it laying down. As he had said before, the past was the past and they couldn't change that. If he was going to help Cole save this Agency for the man's grandfather, then Cole would have to learn how to work with him in at least civil terms.

"Truly you seem to be quite stuck in the past, Doctor Haworth....What might have happened then was something I did as a child. It wasn't the best choice and I don't stand by it now that I'm older and I see things from a better angle, but it happened. Nothing I can say can change that. It would do you best to learn to move on" Zane shot back in a rather irritated tone of voice as he leveled his former best friend with another glare. This one a bit more tired than the last. This verbal spare with the blonde was wearing on him and a part of him wanted to leave. To retreat back to the comfort of home where his band mates were waiting and a nice movie night would probably take place. But right now he had to continue this verbal dance with the blonde, even if he'd rather be doing anything else. It was draining, but he wouldn't throw in the towel without holding out longer.

Raising a brow at the words spoke by Cole about their "relationship", Cecil leaned back in the chair and watched the man with an icy sort of calm about his features. "Say and believe what you will, Doctor Haworth. As far as I'm concerned, titles, age and statuses don't matter when it comes to what the heart wants. Love is a funny thing. Zane and I found eachother in this industry and we've been happy with one another from the moment we decided to become a couple. It hasn't changed since we first took the first step together and it won't change now. No matter whether you mock it or not" Cecil responded, tone never changing from that icy monotonic way in which he spoke. Though he didn't say it in open terms, by the way he was watching Cole with an expression that was anything but intimidated or frightened, it was obvious that the man gave a rat's ass what the CEO thought. As much as it shouldn't be amusing, Zane couldn't fight the smile the twitched the corners of his lips up for just a second as the rebuttal in his manager's words and body language.

Hearing Cole's choice words in response to what Cecil had said, Zane glanced down just a heartbeat to watch his manager finally show a sign of exasperation by rolling those forest colored eyes. Cecil rarely showed open signs of emotion to the world, it took a truly bothersome individual to get him to react openly. By the looks of it, Cole had just landed himself the role of bothersome individual. "Honestly, the more words I exchange with you, the more time I feel like I'm wasting" the brunette murmured under his breath and Zane could only imagine what Cecil must have been thinking. Cole wasn't being pleasant at all, nor did it seem that he was even trying to be civil. While Zane could say he was somewhat used to this side of Cole from their past, he knew that Cecil was not. If push came to shove, his manager would rather pack whatever help they had been offering back up and go back to whatever other projects that had postponed to come to Cole's aide. While Zane wouldn't be all too against that, he didn't have it in him to fully walk away from the blonde a second time. At least not when so many people were depending on them. So he did his best to keep a cool head and he hoped against the odds that Cecil would do the same.

Watching Cole tug the curvy blond off the desk and into his lap, Zane did his best not to show any outer signs of discomfort at the scene. His fingers did tighten a bit around Cecil's hair, despite the manager not making a noise of protest, but aside from that he did nothing. It was by will alone that he forced his expression to remain passive and serene, for his eyes to remain cool and detached even as he watched the woman giggle in the arms of the only man he had loved as fiercely as he did as a young man. Hell, even now he loved Cole, no matter what the man was doing in front of him and how much that hurt. Cole had the freedom to do what he wanted with his body and the body of the woman he was obviously dating, Zane had no input in that. Had no reason to protest that. Not after he had abandoned his former best friend years ago in the middle of his fear. Yet he couldn't say that it didn't hurt to watch this scene play out. That his heart didn't squeeze painfully in his chest the more he looked on.

Blinking when Cole locked eyes with him and kept him there as his hand roamed over Bianca's body, Zane couldn't stop the small downturn of his lips nor the brief flicker of pain that appeared just for a second in his eyes. He could understand what Cole was trying to tell him but it didn't hurt any less. So with effort, he tore his gaze from the other man and bent down for a moment to nuzzle his nose against Cecil's scalp in an effort to cool his emotions again and gather himself. Inhaling the familiar scent of his manager, Cecil closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed as said man reached up and over to gently grasp the hand not still buried in his hair. It was a simple gesture, but it was comforting nonetheless. And it was friendly more than anything else, at least to Zane and Cecil. His manager was offering him a show of affection and comfort where in the eyes of others, it might look loving and possessive. Honestly, it was one of the things he had truly loved about Cecil, both when they had been romantically involved and even after when they had made their minds up to be just friends. The older man had always known how to read what he needed, it was something that comforted Zane in ways he had never expected.

Interlacing his fingers through Cecil's and squeezing the older male's hand gently, Zane straightened back up on his perch and once again lifted his gaze to meet Cole's. His mask firmly in place again and whatever feelings might be rippling in him, were held once again tightly under the surface. He wouldn't let Cole see how it pained him to watch the male touch and be with the female. He wouldn't make his misery that easy for the CEO to be able to grasp. Not when he wasn't alone in this.

Both manager and singer nodded at Bianca's input for the timing of the festival. It would give them plenty of time to prepare and work on their other projects aside from this one. While her style of music wasn't something Zane found he particularly liked, Bianca had come up with good ideas for this festival and she would be a good member to have amongst them as people preforming. That and she would promote this festival as much as she could, only worked in her favor in his eyes. Besides, no matter how much he hated the thought of her being with Cole, Bianca was a likable person for the most part. Zane wouldn't mind working alongside her. He'd just be sure to move down Wind when the couple decided to be romantic around one another. What he had seen today had been more than what he needed. He wouldn't continuously torture himself by putting himself in the view of whatever else they might indulge in as a couple. He was smarter than that.

"Thank you....people often say that enough that we have no way to believe otherwise" Zane chuckled out gratefully at Bianca's words while Cecil smiled lightly and nodded his own gratitude at the compliment. Watching the woman leave, Zane turned his eyes on Cole for a moment before looking over at his manager. "Love, would you mind waiting in the car for me? I have something I'd like to speak to Doctor Haworth in private. I'll be down in just a few minutes" the singer asked, tone soft and affectionate in ways it had once been for Cole after they had gotten over their rivalry.

"As you wish, baby" Cecil murmured, his own voice sounded gentle and caring as well in his own way. Getting to his feet with nearly the same grace in which Zane moved, Cecil dropped a kiss against Zane's temple then moved down to place a light one against his lips before nodding once at Cole and leaving the room. While he kiss really didn't mean anything to them, Zane knew it was for appearance more than anything else. They had to sell this idea of them being a couple as best as they could. The kiss did bring memories of a time when they had actually truly been a couple, but as it was now, it held none of the romance it once had. At least not to them. The outside world might think it was genuine and filled with love, but Zane and Cecil, as well as the rest of the group when they heard about today, knew the truth. One that they had to make sure no one found out anytime soon.

Watching Cecil walk out of the office, Zane turned his attention back to Cole. Whatever softness might have been in his eyes faded away to mild annoyance and the need to make his point clear. "Look, I'm not gonna sugar coat this or run circles around it. I know you hate me for what I did when we were kids. I know you blame me for running away without any explanation aside from the letter I left you. I also know that you probably would rather have help from anyone else but me....but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here anyways. I know what I did was wrong, but that was years ago and I was just a damn kid! I was scared and I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry, I made a mistake and now I have to deal with it. So hate me all you want and badmouth me in your mind as long as you want, but understand that I'm here to help with what's happening now. Not to dig up ghosts from the past" he spoke with a sharp, clear sense to his words. If this was going to work between them, then he had to make things clear from the start before they drove eachother crazy.

"However, if you insist on throwing shit at everything Cecil or I say. If you insist on treating us like trash under your feet, then I'm gone. I got too much stuff to be doing, than letting myself be talked to like a piece of dirt. I understand you're mad and hurt, I get it, alright. And as I said before, I'm sorry for what happened in the past. I'm sorry for leaving you like I did. It probably means nothing to you now, but I am honestly sorry. That's not important right now though, what's important is keeping your grandfather's Agency out of the gutters and I'm willing to help in anything I can. So what do you want from me? What would it take to have you at least act like a civil person around me and my friends? Cecil has done nothing to need that attitude from you. If anyone deserves it, it's me even if I won't take it laying down. So again I ask, what the hell do you want from me? Because if you want me to get out of your life again, then I'm as good as gone. You only need to say the word" Zane finished, eyes never wavering from Cole even as he rose to his own feet while he waited for the answer. He wasn't going to continue this stupid back and forth with the man. Something had to give, one way or another.

December 20, 2017

Cole ignored what the other man had to say regarding the name issue and what was clearly implying that the blond would have a) no manners and b) would be dumb or at least not smart. He knew that he wasn’t the most diplomatic man of all times but he wasn’t someone who usually behaved poorly and he definitely knew that he was not retarded. There was too much evidence telling him that he was a smart man one of which reached as far back as to elementary school, even before he had met Zane. They had tested the blond in a clinic because his always worried mother had found there must have been something wrong with him because he hadn’t interacted with other children, had kept to himself, hadn’t participate in class and had had the worst grades one could get and she had been terrified of the possibility that her only son might have been mentally challenged. Turned out he was quite the opposite and had an IQ high above the average which had made his mum happy again and as proud of her son as humanly possible. So even people outright calling him stupid or an idiot had never bothered him in the slightest, he didn’t have to prove anything to them and knew it was incorrect.

The blond sighed and looked at the singer tiredly while he scolded him “Are you my mother?” he asked in a bored tone of voice before he replied. “Sure, all we do here since I’ve taken this position is insulting each other and we also throw stuff at our heads all the time by the way. I have turned this place into a jungle, haven’t you seen it on your way to my office? And still all of this is magically still running.” He said the sarcasm dripping from his words.

“Whether I am easily provoked or not is relative and depends on who you compare me to, it isn’t above an average rate for a man my age though and hence not dysfunctional, but I am certainly more aggressive then you are and always have been. However even though you seem to think that I am a hothead with a bad temper I have not once said anything in response to those people’s words and I wasn’t planning on getting involved with them on a personal level. All I intended to communicate to you was that it’s not me who is the bad guy and the villain here talking mean to the oh so perfect VIP’s as you thought but it’s actually them insulting me and not vice versa and that taking this into account they should theoretically be able to deal with the same coming back from me.” He explained calmly. “It’s telling and interesting how you apparently view me though and not surprising that there is still massive miscommunication between us considering just how different we have always been.”

His green eyes just watched the silver haired as he snapped and he couldn’t keep himself from laughing what probably wasn’t helpful to deescalate the situation but he found it too hilarious. “I’m just not as mature as you it seems. But it’s definitely good that you aren’t easily provoked at all and would never snap.” Cole spoke his lips twisted in amusement at this demonstration. The blond also found it rather funny that the other was trying to mock him by telling him that he wanted to save the world. “That’s exactly what I ever wanted to do, save the world and humankind by becoming a superhero. I always wanted to be Iron Man, I would make a really hot Tony Stark don’t you think?” he joked now. Actually he had just wanted to do something of significance, bring the knowledge their species had further, find new solutions and understandings and just make his small contribution for knowledge and progress but now he couldn’t do that anymore.

“It seems you were wrong about that. I am friendly when I mean it and only make compliments when I mean them like I said them. That’s called honesty and directness, you know what that is? Some people actually value that!” he responded and chuckled at Zane saying he was quite honest with his friendliness. “Oh really? Which of Bianca’s videos entertained you the most and what about them is it that you find that entertaining and appealing to you personally?” Cole asked with a smile curious as to what the other man would come up with now.

The new CEO was unimpressed. “I never questioned your right of living your life however you want to. You could let someone put a leash onto you and crawl over the floor playing their little doggy if you wanted to, it’s your right, but if someone was to see it they would get a certain impression of you and the pictures they would see would trigger certain assumptions, feelings and associations about it because that’s how the human brain works and when someone tells me that they aren’t even concerned about their own personal freedom and don’t care that someone else controls their entire life and choices, pity is what I am feeling about this. It doesn’t mean that it affects me personally or would concern me or that I would place judgements upon you or would try to stop you, I don’t, do whatever.” He said and left out the part that he still felt rather protective towards Zane and felt like he deserved better.

He furrowed his eyebrows and his green eyes looked at the other as if they were firing darts at him. “I have left the past behind me long ago; don’t be as full of yourself as to think that my whole life circles around our time together. However my past just walked through my door and now stands before me again. You to me are a relic of the past, you represent the past; I only know your past self and you only know my past self and one can’t forget all that one had known about a person without ever having experienced that person in any other way. So forgive me my surprise when you present to me your new found values you should have had all those years ago.” He said coldly.

Cole also didn’t take the trivialisation of the other’s past actions well and he couldn’t stop himself from saying something regarding this even though that probably exposed some of his feelings to the other. “You have never taken into consideration what an effect and impact the cute little flaw you made as a child had on me right? I doubt that you have thought about me and what this caused in me and how hard it had been to get over this for a mere second in your whole life. You just ran and started over without thinking back, wonderful, congratulations that you made it the easiest for you and the hardest for me and your other friends whom you have left as well.”

The idea that those two were in a happy love relationship repulsed him and angered him but his face stayed expressionless regardless and he still didn’t blink. “In other words you couldn’t stand above the biochemical reaction in your organism that your protégés presence caused in you and you threw your work ethics out of the window without a thought due to your sexual urges.” He summarised and stripped what the other had said off of all love and feelings and degraded it to a biological process.

In reality Cole didn’t care about the fact that they were manager and client or about the age gap, this was nothing that he would honestly condemn or judge, he simply couldn’t accept Zane being with this man and even less that there supposedly was love between them, this was why he did all to invalidate them. Even though he would have liked to hurt that bastard of a manager like he was hurting due to that, it wasn’t really important whether it had any effect on Cecil or Zane, he was invalidating their relationship to kill the pain and tame the raging beast inside of himself. But he just got another punch in the guts then as Zane smiled and apparently found this manager guy’s reactions and ways really great and hilarious.

When the older man expressed that he got the feeling that he was wasting his time Cole yawned openly and then looked back into the other’s eyes. “So do I!” he just said to the manager. “I never asked you to come into my office and I never asked you for a favour and I don’t want anything from you. I agreed to see Zane today and I expected him not his appendage.” He said in a bored tone of voice.

Frustration was arising in him when the message he wanted to send Zane by sensually letting his hands runs over the playmate body of Bianca didn’t get through and just led to the other clinging more on that man Cole found reprehensible and that guy responded by claiming the singer.

It sickened the Chemist and it irritated him and made him angry enough for his hand to strongly squeeze Bianca’s tit and losing complete track of his other hand without even noticing. He only noticed what he was doing when he heard her moan faintly. His eyes widened in surprise as he finally looked at her again and her face had blushed an intense shade of red. The blond would have apologised to her since even though she was not shy and quite sexual she would get embarrassed and uncomfortable in such a situation and he had not wanted to cause her to feel shame but he also didn’t want to apologise in front of that manager guy. So he just put his hands elsewhere and when he looked at her and he realised that even through her dress one could see that her nipples were erect now he saw how he had accidently went too far and stopped touching her just for the purpose of getting a point across.

After Bianca had left the room swinging her hips accompanied by the sound her high-heels made on the marble floor Cole was surprised about the fact that Zane wanted to talk to him in private and at the same time he was pissed at the silver haired calling the brunette “love” yet another time.

It didn’t get better when they touched and kissed in front of him then and he would have liked to throw up into their faces while he felt like the famous singer had ripped out his pumping heart to shred it into pieces in front of him. He felt a certain numbness that was sedating the anger and was there to shield him from feeling more hurt.

Cole didn’t pay any mind to the leaving manager, didn’t even bother to look at him and when Zane looked at him as if he was some chewing gum under his shoes, or some obnoxious annoying little pain in the arse he just sat there with an apathetic demeanour as he knew the other wouldn’t have a positive word for him anyway. The new CEO looked the other into his blue eyes that usually reminded him of the sea and now reminded him more of the rat poison he had used in his garden when Bianca had seen a rat and had gotten hysterical.

His apathy vanished when he listened to the other though and he looked at him with a questioning look when the singer apologised for his past mistake and acknowledged that it had been wrong. Cole hadn’t expected that at all especially not in a genuine way and it made him less angry. His face turned serious and he coughed slightly before he started to speak after the other had stopped. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. And trust me I have tried to because it would have been much easier to just do that.” The Chemist replied sounding composed.

Haworth stood and went around the table to where the other was and locked green into blue when Zane continued to tell him what he had to tell him. When he heard the other asking him what he wanted from him Cole was fighting the urge to grab him by the arse, pull him close and kiss him like the wild creature that had been raging in his chest the whole time and it took him all the discipline to not do that, to not risk everything he had just to get punched in the face by a man who didn’t want him but who wanted the older man waiting outside the door for him in return.

Again he waited until the other had finished speaking and released a deep sigh. “I apologise for my behaviour and sarcastic attitude towards you.” He was not apologising and wouldn’t apologise to that manager who was now his competitor, not in a million years. “Seeing you again after all what happened has overwhelmed me with things I thought were long dead and didn’t exist within me anymore and trust me when I say those things that have come back to light are very contradictory and complicated. But nevertheless I shouldn’t have acted this way, especially not since I fired my assistant a few minutes earlier because he had not been able to control himself to not insult his boss. I will try my best to not let this happen again during the time we’ll be working together and I hope that you will see past me slipping up and would agree to a fresh start for our working team.” The Chemist explained and took a deep breath as he was still fighting the urge to kiss him.

“What I want from you isn’t important; you don’t have this for me anymore anyway.” Cole spoke, still calm and turned his sight from Zane to the door where the manager was waiting for the other man on the other side. “Beside that it would have a potential to make things worse and more complicated so I am keeping it to myself, for now at least.” The blond man added and ran his hand over his face.

“There is something I have to ask for though, if we have an appointment don’t bring him,” he pointed at the door,” with you. If you aren’t allowed to make decisions yourself you can tell him what has been discussed and he can make the final decision for you if that’s what you want and he can call my secretary and tell her then. I want to have as less to do with this man as possible as he increases the chance for me to forget my responsibilities and my composure completely.” He tried to make his point clear.

Haworth wouldn’t be able to bear seeing them together like that without getting infuriated and without the urge to just take Zane from him and he didn’t want to feel bad nor did he want to feel like a beast about to tear that guy apart in the air during the fight over Zane and the silver haired’s love. It was like two male dogs that couldn’t be put into the same cage because they would bite each other into bloody pulps.

With that Cole was looking at him with an open demeanour and while he looked the other into his eyes he felt his heart beating in his chest too heavily and it tortured him that he couldn’t touch him. The blond stepped a little closer and offered his hand to him for making the fresh start he had offered. “Hello Zane, I am glad that you’re offering the company your help in troublesome times and I hope that we’ll work well together.” The man announced shaking his hand and then he pulled him a little closer to kiss him on both cheeks, a greeting he had learned overseas.

Inhaling the familiar scent of the other’s body that had always drawn him too him and being that close he made the mistake to not leave it at that though and his lips met the other’s and placed a gentle kiss on them and his eyes went half shut. At least he had kept himself from going wild and passionate with this.

When he stepped back from the short kiss he hoped that it could somehow pass as a greeting but he feared that it had been kind of obvious that it hadn’t belonged to the foreign greeting and he got a little flustered, examining the other in awaiting of a rather negative reaction, especially considering how their reencounter had been going and that Zane and this Cecil had made their status known to him.

December 21, 2017

"I might as well be from your lack of manners" Zane grumbled softly under his breath as he gave into the urge to roll his eyes and turned them away from the infuriating male. "Funny, I didn't think you scientist types believed in magic. And while the place isn't as bad as I was expecting, it could be better. With a little bit of maturity to all those involved in this Agency, I'm sure most problems would be resolved in a blink of any eye" the male answered with an equally sarcastic tone of voice. This banter between them was something that reminded him of how things had been in the past before they had gotten over their differences as children. It was as tiring and annoying as it was back then but he wouldn't be the first to give his hand to yield. Cole might have been the more aggressive of the pair, but Zane didn't back off from challenges and he wouldn't allow the other to win this battle of wits and sarcasm that easily.

"How can there not be miscommunications between us, like you said, we're polar opposites in just about everything. So forgive me if I jumped to conclusions to quickly. I was simply reminded of how you used to be as a kid, picking unnecessary fights and having to have me step in to break them up before things got too serious. If you would like, Doctor Haworth, I could step into this name calling situation for you as well. Would you like me to put the mean people in their place for you or would that be too mothering for you as well?" Zane questioned with a light tilt of his head to one side as his eyes gleamed with cool curiosity towards the CEO in front of him. He was letting his temper get the best of him and that wasn't a good thing. Naturally, Zane was very hard to anger and to remain angry. It was usually only his family that knew how to push his buttons and cause him to snap in second. However, after so many years being away from Cole, it was almost as they had fallen back into their old rivalry in a way. Zane just had to grow accustomed to functioning around the blonde before he could successful leash his temper in.

"You know as well as I that you intentionally have a way of pushing my patience to get reactions that suit you. So don't go blaming my temper of immaturity. This could have been a civil and calm meeting if you hadn't decided to be an ass from the start" Zane snipped at the blonde, glaring daggers at the broader of the pair. Zane had always prided himself on being able to remain calm in the most trying of situations but right now he was standing on uneven grounds and he wasn't quite himself. It couldn't be all Cole's fault but Zane was already blaming himself enough to have to blame himself out loud verbally as well. "I couldn't say....I believe that's something only a lover should be able to admit. Either way, it's not like my opinion matters all that much to you in the end" the silver haired male said, threading his fingers through those long strands of hair as he spoke with a hint of indifference in his voice and manner of saying things.

"Whatever you say, dear" he couldn't help but mock Cole as the man ranted about how he could be friendly in an honest way. Something he seemed to be trying to make Zane admit was what he wasn't doing in regards to Bianca. "Well, how would I be able to choose which one I like the best. They all bring about a new aspect to the videos and they're all rather fascinating to watch. I wouldn't be able to choose even if my life depended on it. As to what I find appealing or entertaining about them....well that's rather simple. Your woman holds nothing back in her videos, she creates videos with a freedom not many could show to the public. She shows no restraint in her videos and gives the public everything she has to give. It's rather brave and admirable. How would I not find that appealing?" Zane answered with a smoothness that would make it impossible to tell whether he was lying or not. If Cole wanted to get him to slip, he would have to try harder than that. Zane hadn't survived as a celebrity for so long without being able to answer difficult questions.

"That I will, though I must say your pity can be rather endearing if I really considering it. Regardless, the whole leash scene is in the past, you missed that album with the darker touch to my music. It's a pity. I'm sure you would have found it more amusing than pitable. But regardless, that's in the past. The point is, Doctor Haworth, you don't need to pity me. I'm not a mindless slave even if people might take my words as myself being one. I just coordinate my activities with that of what is needed of me instead of just doing as I please without anyone else's input. At this level in my profession, getting along with producers and directors will do more good than bad if I rebel against everything they suggest me to do. You'll understand someday I would hope" Zane murmured in a sort of lazy sense as he sort of explained that he wasn't anyone's little "bitch", so to speak. He did what he was told if he liked the idea but at the same time, he could find something else to do if it wasn't to his standards. That was the life he lived in now and he didn't regret it one bit.

"You know, I would consider forgiving you if you didn't somehow expect a child to have the values an adult has. While you had your parents to teach you these values and the such, you seem to forget that my parents didn't exactly get an A+ in the parenting department. So I had to learn on my own as I progressed through life. You'll have to forgive my blunders as a child, I wasn't aware you held me in such high expectations. Honestly, you really should have set the bar lower for me" Zane responded with an equal amount of coldness in his voice, eyes refusing to drift from the other male as he stared him down. While Cole had no way of knowing who his parents had been with all Zane had done to keep his friends from knowing the truth, it had come to light that the silver haired youth had had no relationship with his parents in the least. So truly, Zane had no idea where Cole was coming off of having thought that Zane would have that the same way he was thinking now than he did back when he was a kid.

"You all could have just bloody moved on. I wasn't supposed to be that important to start with! As bullheaded as you were back then, you were fully capable of gaining a new best friend from the group and you could have continued to carry on without a second thought. That was what I had been hoping but that doesn't mean I didn't feel guilty over leaving. However I was against a bloody wall and a hard place and something had to give. So yes, I ran away and I'm not going to deny that, but you all should have been fine without me there. It wasn't as if I was so fundamental to the group that you'd all fall apart without me there" Zane fired back, unable to stop himself now that they were addressing the past. There had been no way he wouldn't have been able to feel guilty about leaving his friends behind. But he had been scared and running had been the only option back then. Honestly, he thought about Cole and their friends every day since then but he stood by his decision in a way. Had he not left, he wouldn't have grown into who he was now. He had needed the change, even if it had killed him inside to leave.

"Yeah pretty much that sounds just about right. I wouldn't be able to say it any better way. You have a way with words, Doctor Haworth, that I truly envy" Cecil responded, tone remaining cool and holding a bit of a biting sarcasm in it. It was clear he didn't like the other man and the only thing holding him back firmly was the way Zane's touch kept him grounded. Something that had always worked both before and after their relationship had come to play.

"Well then I truly must be horrible to be you then, Doctor Haworth. As my manager, Cecil is obligated to attend business meetings for the most part. So it would do you good to grow accustomed to it. Because if you don't want my appendage here then I'm out the door and you may find yourself some other help" Zane exhaled a breath while rolling his eyes at the antics of both men. Honestly, the level of testosterone in the room was enough to begin to gain him a headache. Had he known that having these two meet would be this bad he would have just chosen to stay home and to hell with any meetings at all. Yet here he was, trying to keep the land from combusting under them at the rate these two were going. It would have been amusing if he hadn't been rather bothersome to try and keep some peace. He truly wasn't getting paid enough to play referee on top of everything else he did.

Stiffening against his better will at the sound of the woman's soft moan, Zane chanced a glance over at the couple to see the state of mild arousal the blonde woman seemed to have fallen into. Hell, he wasn't blind not to see the nipples through her clothing and the sight of that itself itched to make him want to get to his feet and leave the office for good. He was reaching his limits on what he could take in this encounter. He needed to regroup and get his thoughts together, he needed to learn how not to be affected when he saw Cole and Bianca together. Most of all, he needed some air. The pain in his chest was beginning to grow unbearable and he could shockingly feel a distant sting at the back of his eyes that alarmed him. He wouldn't show weakness in front of Cole, he wouldn't allow himself to show weakness in front of the other man. Not now. So with a deep breath, Zane kept his expression as neutral as he could as he waited for the scene to end.

When they were finally the only two remaining in the room, Zane finally managed to get the load off his chest. A load he had been carrying for years now. He made things clear to Cole and apologized as he had meant to do when he had left so many years ago. Things were different now, they were both grown men that walked different paths but that didn't mean that an apology wasn't needed. Cole had to understand that Zane hadn't meant to hurt him and though the change in him had been for the best when he had left, he was not happy about what he had left behind. If they were going to work together, he might as well put all his emotions on the line and clear things up with the new CEO. They couldn't afford to be walking around with angry glares and cold words if they were truly considering saving this Agency. It just wouldn't work like that.

Frowning when Cole said he didn't hate him, Zane couldn't help but feel both curiosity and disbelief at those words. Why? Why didn't Cole hate him? He had every right to hate him. Hell, he sure acted like he hated him from the moment Zane had walked into his office just moments ago. Yet here the blonde stood saying that he didn't hate him. That threw Zane for a lop a bit and he could only stare at the other man with a sense of confused bewilderment in his eyes as he listened to Cole speak and explain himself further.

"I'm sorry about your assistant and you having to fire him. He sounds like a jerk and I wouldn't have minded giving him a little piece of my own mind if I had been here to hear him say anything against you. He had no right and again, I apologize for what he might have said" Zane spoke softly, eyes softening just a touch as he thought about Cole's apology and the rest of his words. "If you're willing to forgive me for what I did in the past, then I'm willing to start over with you again now. I'm not saying its going to be easy and we have a lot of baggage we both are carrying from our time together all those years. But I'm willing to try and make this work. There's a lot of people depending on us, Cole. We can't afford to let them down. Besides, like I said, I'm not running away again. As long as you need my help, I'll stick around and offer whatever I can to assist you" he added after a moment of pensive silence. Saying Cole's first name again after a long time was odd but Zane found that he much rather address the other man this way than by his title.

Frowning again when Cole mentioned that what he wanted was something Zane couldn't give him, the silver haired singer flickered his own gaze to the door confused before looking back to his old friend. "Complicated or not, you know you only have to ask if you need anything from me. Whatever happened between us, it doesn't change the fact that I still and always have thought of you as a friend. You shouldn't have to hesitate to ask me anything" he said gently, trying to sound reassuring even though he wasn't exactly sure what the man could possible mean by his words. He didn't want to pressure Cole but he was making it clear that just like in the past, the blonde could ask anything from him and Zane would do his best to comply.

Exhaling a heavy breath and letting his shoulders slump a bit at the request Cole asked him about not bringing his manager with him, Zane passed a hand through his head while he puffed out a breath. "I really don't understand what you have against Cecil. He's a good man and I'm sure you two would make good friends if you ever got over beating your chests at eachother and trying to dominate the other. But fine, if you want me to leave him at home then I will. The boys will probably have more use for him when it comes to handling their shenanigans than I do dealing with business deals. But you have to understand that he is my manager and there will be times I have to bring him along, whether you like it or not. I'll try to not do it often but you're going to have to behave yourself around him when I have no other choice" Zane conceded with a tiny hint of exasperated reluctance in his voice. He wouldn't argue this point with Cole, he was just glad they were finally getting somewhere after the chaos of their initial reunion.

Feeling his heart speed up in his chest when Cole stepped closer and finally addressed him by his first name, Zane felt a small smile fight its way onto his face. One reminiscent of the smiles he had often wore in the past. "Hey Cole. You're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. Like I said before, I wouldn't dream of not doing what I could to help. I'm at your disposal" he responded, clasping the man's hand and shaking it calmly. However when Cole drew him closer to kiss both his cheeks, heat blossomed onto the Idol's face and he couldn't stop the surprised shock that widened his blue eyes. Shock that soared to sky rocketing proportions when instead of pulling away, Cole proceeded to press a kiss against his slightly gaping lips.

It would have been comical to watch how wide his eyes grew at the notion and how he seemed to freeze like a block of ice as that kiss was pressed against his frozen mouth. His face felt like it was on fire when Cole finally pulled away and the male couldn't do much but stare at his old friend in disbelief and stutter useless words for a moment or two while his brain struggled to gain some sort of footing. Never in a million years would he have expected to be kissed by the blonde....especially not now. Not when they had grown so apart. Not when the blonde had a girlfriend. Not when Zane knew full well that Cole was still very much straight.

Licking his lips in both nervousness and to taste the kiss one more time, Zane felt his eyes lower to the ground as his fists slowly clenched at his sides. It took a steadying breath for him to be able to gather the courage to expel words from his mouth once more. "Why? Why did you just do that?" He asked softly, voice barely above that of a soft murmur before he slowly lifted angry, challenging cerulean blue eyes to those familiar green eyes.

"What the hall was that, Cole?!" He snapped, tone growing cold in combination of his confusion, disbelief and hurt. "You have a girlfriend, damn it! Why would you just kiss me as if that was a good idea? Was what I told you in that letter some kind of joke to you? Is this another form of pity coming from you? You don't have to kiss me just to show some sort of answer to the fact that I was in love with you back then. You don't have to play along just to pity me. I don't need that crap. Not from you" he growled softly, never once looking away as his eyes seemed to light up fiercer with the fire of his growing anger. As much as he had liked the kiss, if this was some sort of sick game to hurt him all the more, Zane wasn't having it. He wasn't having it one bit.

December 21, 2017

Cole crossed his arms and grinned at the other when he responded to what he had said earlier. He didn’t believe in magic and he knew that Zane knew it. The blond didn’t believe in anything supernatural or things where there was no evidence of.

Back in the day he had always caused a vigorous argument between him and his religion teacher in mandatory religion class because as an antitheist he had refused to let anything of what she had taught the class pass and the whole lessons had ended up always circling around the fight between him and the religion teacher to the point where everyone else than the two was annoyed. And while other teens his age had celebrated football players, musicians or actors Cole had been a fan of Christopher Hitches and all of that had happened long before he had known that he would become a Chemist one day.

“Of course I believe in magic you muggle!” he joked not taking Zane remotely serious anymore as what followed that statement was not exactly worth anything either. “Sure, that the company doesn’t run as well as when my grandfather did now is due to me being immature, that’s the most logical explanation obviously.” He began talking in his mocking sarcastic tone again. “It’s definitely not my lack of knowledge, qualification, talent and interest in everything that has to do with this field opposed to my grandfather professionalism, experience, love and obsession with the field that would be much too farfetched you’re definitely right, I am just childish. I mean I obviously am a people’s person so I am fitting this industry just great.” He continued his mockery, eyes shining in amusement.

The amusement about the other’s responses didn’t fade and the blond new CEO was grinning at the silver haired widely. “Which name calling? There is no name calling taking place here at least not from my side as I have explained before. Are you deaf or didn’t you listen?” he asked in an innocent way and then added. “Nah, I’m a big boy I can handle the mean kids myself, as I always could even though my way of handling them was too rough for a sensitive flower like you mummy.” He really couldn’t bring himself to giving him a serious response to something like that.

Zane trying to stare him down made him chuckle. He had always given him such looks and Cole had never been intimidated by them in the slightest, he had actually found that rather cute how he had tried to put him in his place in the past but hadn’t succeeded with it. The Chemist raised his hand as if they were in school. “Question! If I, an immature, poorly mannered, unintelligent, hothead in your eyes, am able to push your buttons and make you react how it suits me, what would that make you then?” he asked and then added:” I am afraid nothing superior to me!”

Cole smirked widely and in a quite obvious way. “Say what you want but I think you have an opinion on this regardless!” he guessed and moved his eyebrows up and down while looking Zane in the eyes and then he turned to Bianca. “But since you said my lover should know the answer and be willing to give it to me I’m going to ask her. Bee, wouldn’t I make a really hot version of Tony Stark?” he wanted to know from her and Bianca nodded. “Most definitely! The sexiest, hottest, dirtiest version! You should be Iron Man in bed for me tonight.” She winked at him in a joking manner and roared like kitten what made Cole laugh, he liked that Bianca had a somewhat dirty mind and humour. “I’m sure going to be your Iron Man hun!” he responded still laughing.

Zane didn’t disappoint him. He pulled something out of his arse and lied straight into their faces another time again. He would have been a good actor as well Cole thought while the other spoke and he saw how his girlfriend was completely buying it. She blushed lightly at the compliments and touched Zane’s arm. “Awww, stop all the flattering you’re making me flustered.” The female singer said and getting all enthusiastic and excited again. “I will definitely convince your manager that we should make a song together that would be sooooo perfect!” the blond woman said to him and the Chemist leaned over to Zane looking him in the eyes seriously and whispered so that Bianca couldn’t hear him:”Now you better make that work somehow and not let her hopes down, or you’re going to be the one comforting her when she cries and sobs for an eternity because she found out that you would never make a song with her because you don’t actually like her stuff. I mean it! I put her in the car and drive her straight to your door! You have no idea how annoying she gets when she is overly emotional.”

The Chemist rolled his green eyes and shook his head. “Sure, let’s blame it on the parenting and make your parents responsible for your doings. I don’t know your parents but do you think any psychologist or educational theorist would have approve of mine and their methods in the slightest? I tell you the answer: No! My mother would be a perfect specimen for them to analyse and study and still I knew what loyalty and uprightness meant as a teenager! A teenager is in fact not a child by the way and you weren’t a child you were a teenager even though it’s not an adult that’s a difference. And I also don’t think that loyalty isn’t a high expectation from a friend that close adult or teenager.”

Cole’s face openly twisted in extreme anger when the other spoke about that he should have simply moved on and by saying that implying that it was more or less his fault that he had gotten hurt in the process and not Zane’s. “I could have and would have moved on from it but you successfully kept me from it. Have you forgotten that little present you left me with? Does the word ‘letter’ ring a bell to you?” he hissed at the singer. “Your bloody letter hunted me for years to come in one way and the other even though I indeed made another best friend. Ilay and I are still friends by the way but it has never been like between us!” he barked at the other his body tensing up. He knew full well that a friendship could never be as it had been between Zane and him as he had loved Zane romantically and much to his dismay those feelings seemed to have survived after all.

Having that manager so far that he now showed the CEO that he disliked him as much as the blond couldn’t stand the other’s guts openly was a triumph for him and a pleased smirk crossed his face that had been expressionless so far. “My way with words is by far not the only thing you have a reason to envy me for!” he informed him with a smug tone and his green eyes blinked from the brunette to the silver haired.

Irritation had almost made itself at home within Cole while sitting opposite to those two and he certainly hated it when Zane picked his appendages side. It had been clear that he would but it displeased him nonetheless and it was like another slap into his face what he didn’t let show and he flung a professional smile at his former friend followed by him speaking in an oddly professional tone:“No, it’s not too bad being me, I am the boss of this company and I can decide to which conditions I agree and to which I won’t agree. Hence, I don’t have to grow accustomed to someone like him and if you aren’t able to do some things alone and see no way of leaving him at home from time to time I am afraid that our cooperation can’t take place under those conditions as I won’t accept them and I will search for another famous musician for this project whose conditions suit me better and I can agree on, I already have one in mind as well. Farewell then Mister Durandal, I’m greeting my grandfather from you, he’ll be glad to hear you’re doing well maybe you want to visit him another time!”

Surprised he looked at the other when Zane apologised to him for something he had not even done. “Don’t be sorry. You are not responsible for him, you don’t even know him. So you don’t have to feel sorry for this sissy not having himself under control in front of me. I’m just lacking an assistant now and have to hire a new one but I am sure there are much better ones out there anyway so it might be even to this company’s advantage.” He put it off with a faint smile and made a note in his mind that he had to call the human resources department later on for them to search for qualified candidates for him.

His heart was still racing as he was listening to Zane and keeping himself from taking him and kissing him as no one had kissed him before. A dry laugh came from him at those words. “I really appreciate that you offer that but unfortunately it’s nothing one can just ask for and be given. You would need to have it for me in the first place to be able to provide it.” The man informed the other and his voice had a little melancholic undertone. Zane didn’t love him anymore and Cole couldn’t admit that he did because he would cause chaos by doing so and he also would destroy the facade he had held alive all those years by revealing that he loved men. If he said it out loud he could not ignore it any further and just live like a straight man because he didn’t want to be gay even though he was gay. Plus, his mother would probably get a heart attack and his father’s blood pressure would rise so high that his head would explode from anger if he were to tell them that he could actually only love men and had faked being into women all those years.

It bugged him that Zane couldn’t see what he had against his oh so lovely manager. How could one not dislike such a guy? There wasn’t one thing positive about him that Cole was able to see. What did Zane find in that old reprehensible man anyway? Cole was definitely better than this dude and sooner or later Zane just had to realise that and leave this guy for him, he would make him realise it. “Good. I try not to kill him when I have to see his face on the rare occasions then.” He let the other know in a joking way with a smile that was a little too wide.

Lost he stared into the red face of the singer he had just kissed and he could feel how his palms were getting sweaty, how his heart seemed to beat out of his chest and how he was starting to get nervous because the other was just staring at him in shock, eyes so wide that he feared they would fall onto the ground every minute. The man looked as shocked as if Cole had murdered someone right in front of his eyes and not kissed him and the moments in which there was no reaction from the other felt like an eternity.

When he saw the silver haired man’s fists clench his heart skipped beating for a moment and he was not awaiting anything positive to follow. It looked like Zane was loading himself full with all the anger until he exploded right into Coles face.

The Chemist had thought that the reaction would probably be negative but he hadn’t expected this! The reaction of the other to the blond kissing him was extremely strong and furious and having all those accusations thrown at him caught him off guard and now he was staring at the other while he felt like his internal organs were being squashed and the ache was taking over. Getting rejected normally was uncomfortable and embarrassing enough already but this was the aggravation of a rejection, Zane seemed to loathe him.

It took him a few seconds to comprehend all what had been thrown at his head and when it had sunken in and he was able to sort out what all those accusations meant the hurt he was feeling was accompanied by rage as well as disappointment and he made a step forward looking at the other with narrowed eyes and a stern face. “What level of disgusting do you think I really am huh? You must think I am the worst kind of being on this planet to think this about me. I might be a lot but I am not and have never been the scheming, manipulative, spineless arsehole you’re painting me as. I don’t know what kind of people you surround yourself with nowadays but if they do such things you should search for better company. Or do you only think about me as something like that? I assure you I don’t kiss people to mock them, to make them look foolish or to lead them on. I am not like that!” he spoke in a fierce way. “I also haven’t kissed you out of pity. What in the regards of this should I even pity you about? You have your reprehensible appendage you for a reason unknown to me seem to be more than just fond of so there isn’t even anything to pity you for when it comes to this in the first place.”

Shaking his head in disbelief he made both of his hands run over his face and then through his hair. “Good for you that you were in love with me but don’t have any such feelings anymore, I wish I could say the same! Even if I couldn’t have gotten rid of the knowledge about what your damn letter had made me realise about myself and what I didn’t want to be and refused to be all the time, I at least hoped I had killed those feelings for you but I got taught better when you stepped into my office. So believe me when I say that your letter was no joke to me but dead serious. I even tried to retrain my brain to not love men anymore with all kinds of methods and experiments but nothing worked, I just am like this, I can’t change that I only fall for men and the only thing I could do was ignoring it and living like a straight man anyway but I am not sure if I am still able to do that much longer thanks to you.” He confessed and he couldn’t believe that he had done that just now. Couldn’t believe that he had said it out loud that he loved men and not women. It made it frightening real and he realise how a lump was building in his throat that he swallowed down.

He took several deep breaths to calm himself down from this, to get his blood pressure back to a rate that didn’t make his carotid stick out and pulsate dangerously. “You are right, I shouldn’t have kissed you, it was wrong of me, but at least you now know what you wanted to know from me a few minutes earlier. And now you see why this would complicate everything and cause chaos. I can’t and won’t take this kiss back though. If you hated it that much, if it crept you out just pretend it was a part of a foreign greeting and if you want to tell your manager to not have any secrets between you or you feel guilty towards him about it just tell him that it was me who did this to you and you didn’t return it. I will testify that for you too if needed, I just kissed you and you absolutely hated it and screamed at me like a maniac in return and it won’t be a threat to your little arrangement at all.” He said in a more calm tone but saying that tortured him inside.

A deep sigh followed before he looked up into the other’s eyes, all of that was exhausting him. Cole wasn’t used to feeling that many things at the same time and he wasn’t used to stronger kind of feelings as well as he usually had the emotional capacity of the average rock. In addition to that he wasn’t good at understanding his own emotions, expressing them and getting them across.

“Just do me one favour, be discrete about this please even though you’re mad at me for kissing you and you don’t want me. I can’t tell you what to do or not to tell anyone what I just admitted to be to you but I ask you anyways. At least don’t tell my grandfather should you ever visit him another time he wouldn’t survive the shock of me his only grandson being .....” the CEO averted his eyes from the other and it was obviously hard for him to say that out loud, so his voice became a little more quiet:”.... a homosexual man!”

December 23, 2017

"Come now, why do you have to ruin things when I was trying to be nice and just state that the only reason you're doing remarkably bad is because you're immature. Now you went and put everything into perspective, I was trying to sugarcoat things the best I could. Honestly, you just love to get right to the point. I can't argue with the flaws you mentioned, they are true after all....though I suppose it is a small miracle that the Agency hasn't crashed to the ground with the weight of all you're lacking in this field. Who knows, maybe miracles do exist after all" Zane chuckled just as mockingly as Cole. While he wouldn't openly insult the other to such a degree because he simply just didn't feel like it and it wasn't his top priority to do so, it seemed Cole was fine doing it for him. Even though he lacked quite an alarming amount of requirements to succeed, let alone thrive, in this field...Zane hadn't lied when he said that he was impressed the Agency was still alive and kicking. Then again, Cole's grandfather had left several knowledgeable people behind he was sure, they were probably one of the reasons Cole had held out for so long so far.

"I listen between the lines, Doctor. While you don't indulge in name calling to their face, I'm sure you do plenty of mocking behind their backs, do you not? I'm not as daft as to believe you're a perfect little angel in this scenario" Zane exhaled with a roll of his eyes in reflection to what he thought of Cole's words about him not listening. Now while a part of him had no doubt that Cole was probably getting harassed by those in this field due to his lack of effort or interest, he knew the blonde well enough to know that he wouldn't take the insults laying down. The Cole from the past would have fired back, if not to their face then behind their backs. There was just no other way Zane could think the situation would play out. True, Cole might have changed over the years but he doubted he had changed all that much. "Call me what you will, Doctor, but at least I'm not the equivalent of a bull in a China shop. There are less volatile and violent ways to handle situations. Then again, you never truly understood that, now did you?" Zane remarked, raising a perfectly arched brow at the older version of the boy from his past. One he had cared for deeply yet at the same time found deeply exasperating.

Feeling his brow twitch in annoyance at the chuckle Cole gaze him in what Zane could only imagine to be a response to his less than amused stare, Zane huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes skyward before shaking his head to rely. "No I suppose it doesn't. More than anything it makes me just about as stupid as you to answer to your constant toeing of the line. Honestly, I do think I'm rather ashamed to have even engaged in this ridiculous exchange of words. It's obvious we got no where in the end. An annoying thought no less" he grumbled softly, praying for patience when he very rarely needed to. To be frank, he had never reacted so childishly with anyone since having embarked into the world of Celebrities. For one reason or another, Cole got under his skin like no else could and Zane had no one to blame for that but himself.

Rolling his eyes for what felt the hundredth time in the short while he had come here when Cole asked Bianca's opinion on whether or not he would make a hot Tony Stark, Zane yawned softly and ideally looked around the office as the two exchanged words. It hurt, it hurt more than he'd want to allow it to hurt, but he refused to show it. Later, when he was in the safety of his home with people he loved unconditionally and who loved him just as much, he would allow his mask to fall in order to seek comfort in them. Until then though, he would continue to pretend that the couple in front of him didn't get to him. Even if that was the last thing he did. He would not allow Cole to see how much it was hurting him to just watch them. He wasn't that weak, he hadn't been that weak in years.

Forcing himself to smile politely at the woman when she touched his arm and appeared rather flattered that he had given her such high compliments over her music, Zane flickered his blue gaze to Cole when the man leaned in to speak. "As if you know where I live or when I'll actually be at one location out of the many I frequent" he answered with coldly amused smile while he listened to what the man was saying. "As far as I'm concerned, Doctor Haworth, the woman is YOUR girlfriend. As such, I'd assume it would be your duty to tend to her and every whim that she might go through. That IS what it takes to be a proper boyfriend, is it not. I'm sure she'd find your comfort better than mine. And while I will do my utmost best to get my manager to agree to a duet...well, I make no promises. I have so much on my plate as we speak, I'll have to find some time to squeeze for whatever you both might be able to think of.....Again, no promises" Zane answered back just as quietly as Cole had. He wasn't about to fall victim to whatever hell Cole would think he could put him through with Bianca.

"No I suppose it's not a high expectation, but I wasn't going to throw away a chance to live my life to the expectations of my family if I had no other choice. A teenager I might have been and I might have cared for you as my friends, but my loyalties have always and will always be with my family. I'm sure you'll understand one day, Doctor Haworth. You're loyal to your family above most else, are you not? You wouldn't be in this position if you weren't. However, you had time to do what you wanted before loyalties called. My family expected me to follow in their tracks long before you and I did what I had to before things got too complicated" the silver haired singer answered, eyes lacking any warmth as he said those words. While his primary reason for leaving had been his feelings for his friend, his family had influenced his decisions as well. He had never met people more vile and manipulating as his bloodline were and they leapt at weakness when they saw it. Zane had been still young when he had found himself reeling from what he had felt for Cole and his family had been quick to close in on that sign of weakness. True that in the end he had no one else to blame but himself, he wouldn't hide that his family had been behind part of his decisions as well.

"Well that's a pity. You have my heart felt apologies that a letter kept you from moving on. If I had known that it would have been so important to you, I would have stopped myself from writing anything at all. As it is, you have my apologies. However, there is nothing to be done about that. You managed to find yourself a new friend, at least you weren't held back completely without being able to push forward. Simple words shouldn't have impacted your life so much, Doctor Haworth. I assume a scientist like you would agree to that" Zane said and he knew he was being rather cruel at the moment but it was the only defense he had. He didn't want to talk about the letter, not in front of Bianca and maybe not at all. So if he could be cruel enough to get Cole to back off from that subject, then it would be for the best of all of them.

"What else would I have to envy, Doctor Haworth? That you're a scientist....that's not important to me, I've never cared much for them. That you have money to your name now that you've taken over and before your grandfather got ill? I have plenty of money myself, so I don't care for that either. Let me guess, that you're smarter than I'll ever be? By all means, be smarter than I am, I don't really care about that either.....What else? Oh, perhaps that you have a beautiful and lovely partner to call your own. I assure you, Doctor Haworth, I have one as well. Just as beautiful and lovely as your own, I don't see what else I could envy you for" Cecil responded as he squeezed Zane's hand lightly as the silver haired Idol smiled in a softly amused gesture. These two were becoming a pain but it was somewhat amusing either way.

"Alright, if that's what you would like, it's up to you, Doctor Haworth....I won't shed any tears if you prefer to find someone else that would roll over and submit to your ridiculous will. You need only to verbally let your grandfather know that you found that you didn't need our help. I'm sure he'd love the thought that you'd be able to find someone else with the proper influences to help you out with his legacy. I mean, if you're sure you're fine without my help, then by all means. Lord knows that I have plenty of other projects to be working on. It would be nice to get those on the road again if my presence isn't needed here" Zane answered easily enough, raising his brow at the blonde that seemed so willing to kick them out just because they weren't doing exactly what he wanted. Zane was a lot of things but someone that would do whatever someone else said...that he was not. Especially when said person was a rude shit. Cole could do whatever he wanted in the end but if he didn't want him here, Zane wouldn't beg to stay. It was up to the blonde in the end.

"Why don't you hire your friend, Ilay was it? I'm sure like minded individuals would be able to work properly together. I would suggest perhaps giving the position over to Bianca but she has her plate full with her own music, so that probably wouldn't work out. Either way, sooner or later, I'm sure you'll be able to find someone. And if you need help with anything meanwhile, you can always ask and I'll answer as best as I can" Zane said with a little shrug. He felt bad that Cole had no assistant now and he did want him to find someone he'd be able to work with without wanting to kill. However, he knew that might take some time and while he was still around, he'd help Cole however he could.

"And how would you know that I don't have what you ask for?" Zane asked, tilting his head to one side with a confused look that mixed with his curiosity. Whatever Cole thought Zane didn't have, it was making him all the more invested in wanting to know what that was. He'd be lying if he didn't say he was a bit concerned about what exactly had the other man so convinced he wouldn't be receiving. While they had changed and grown, Zane still cared as much for the blonde as he had in their School years. Fame, family and money hadn't changed that one bit. However, at the same time he didn't want to have Cole feeling cornered about whatever he was being so reclusive about. What kind of friend would he be if he didn't let the man have his secrets? So while he would try to understand, he wouldn't pressure Cole too much.

"That's good, then I won't have to think of a way to murder both of you when you act like mindless buffoons in front of the other" Zane joked back, shaking his head in a playful sign of his exasperation at the thought of the pair of alpha men together.

"I don't know what to think, Cole! You tell me what to think! If you're not all that you just said, then why? You're straight, you have a girlfriend, why would you think it's a good idea to kiss me. You're childhood friend? Tell me if that makes any amount of sense to you?" The silver haired man snapped out a response in a tone that was just as upset as Cole sounded. His mind struggled to make sense of what had just happened seconds ago but for the life of him, he had no idea what to think. He loved Cole, that hadn't changed nor would it ever change, yet the man didn't love him. Nor was he more than likely attracted to him in the least. How could the blonde think that Zane would understand what had just happened. How could he think Zane wouldn't be upset about it? Staring at Cole with levels of disbelief, shock and anger still shimmer in his eyes, the silver haired Idol waited to hear whatever explanation the man would throw at him to all this.

Feeling himself freeze when the blonde finally admitted that he truly did have feelings for him, that his letter had impacted him more than Zane could have ever imagined, the man could do little but stare again. Never in all his years he had spent regretting having to leave his past in the dust, would he had thought that Cole could possibly feel the same way about him. Cole had always been straight to him. He had been his straight best friend, a thought that not even his emotions for the male could change. The fear of Cole's rejection had been one of the reasons he had fled from their town all those years ago. And now, now that they were older, Cole was telling him that he could have very much returned what had Zane been feeling. That in a sense, there had been no reason to run....at least not from his best friend. In a sense, it made Zane feel so stupid for considering otherwise. For thinking that Cole could have possibly hated him for loving him as more than just friends. But he had just been a kid, the dumb teenager, how could he have expected something good with the shitty home life he had.

Continuing to stare at Cole in silence a few moments after the male stopped talking, Zane finally took a deep breath and uncurled his fists as his side. Exhaling a soft breath, eyes softening almost impossibly, the leaner male shook his head while saying "No....I won't say that what happened was against my will....even if I didn't see if coming". God, if he wasn't tired. This new development had left him reeling, almost as if someone had punched him straight in the stomach with no hesitation. However, he knew he couldn't let Cole think that Zane had been against it or that he didn't love him anymore. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let Cole believe such a lie.

Lifting his hands, he stepped forward to cup Cole's face between them and lift it just a bit in order to press a soft, hesitant kiss upon the male's forehead. "You're a damn idiot" he murmured but his tone was far from cold, if anything the insult sounded rather endearing. Almost like how he had always playfully insulted him when they had been in High School. "Then again, I guess I'm an idiot too huh?" He murmured with quiet amusement, tilting his head in order to try and lock eyes with Cole. "Cole, just because I left and I might not have said it again, it doesn't mean that I don't still love you. I loved you back then and I've love you now. I've never stopped loving you, not for a moment. No matter who I spent my time with or how many people fell in love with me, my heart has always been yours. Nothing could ever change that and I don't want anything to ever change that. I have never wanted to love anyone else but you" he spoke, tone gentle and loving as he tried to make the blonde understand the emotion in his voice. Emotions that chocked him up a bit but filled him with happiness knowing that at least his feelings were returned by the man in front of him.

"But we can't do this" he added, traces of sadness in those fiercely proud yet always so warm eyes. "You have Bianca, she deserves to know that you only belong to her. Your loyalty has to be with her, you're in a relationship for a reason. And while I'm not exactly in a relationship with Cecil right now...we kind of just made that up on the spot...." he admitted with a small sheepish smile "I still have him on my corner. I need to have him by my side, he's the only one that can keep my family away from me and I don't think I can consider letting him go just yet. Besides, as you said, you're family would never approve of anything between us or of you being homosexual and I can't live with a hidden relationship. So though I love you as much as I have always loved you, I care about your happiness more than my own. I always have and I always will. So maybe it's best that whatever just happened here is forgotten. It would be better for you more than anything else, we have to keep your image clean. Don't you think?" Zane finished, hands still lightly holding the other male's cheeks as he looked into those green eyes he had always loved. He hated the thought of ignoring what they felt for one another, for acting like nothing happened, but if Cole needed it to be like this. Then he wouldn't argue or fight.

December 25, 2017

“I was never a fan of sugar-coating things or false niceness. Lying to someone to not insult them is much more insulting actually, since by doing so you are suggesting they won’t know the truth and won’t be able to face the truth. I know where my strengths and talents lie and what I am good at and in the same way I know what I am not good at and what I have never learned and am not qualified for just fine. I’m not some delusional narcissistic prick as I have had the honour to meet them in this industry in a disproportionately high number, I should look for studies and research about the correlation between certain personality disorders and the entertainment industry, could be interesting. I have a realistic image of myself. I won’t feel insulted if one tells me I am not qualified for this because that is a mere fact and I can accept facts.” He told the other and raised an eyebrow. “Putting things into perspective is what I do and believe it or not this characteristic is entirely positive in my field where you deal with scientific questions you have to find the answer to as well as facts and not people’s sensibilities and emotions.” The man told the other and it was true. Personalities like Cole worked perfectly in scientific or technological fields but they were incredibly bad at working with incalculable and oftentimes irrational people.

Now it was Cole who looked at the other as if he wasn’t in his right mind anymore. “Behind their backs? Why on earth would I insult them back behind their backs where they can’t hear it anymore? What would I gain by doing this? Would be wasted breath if you ask me! I am not saying I am an angel I sure despise them to a degree and my thoughts about them aren’t friendly at all but I have other methods of dealing with those people right away.” He let the other know in a rather indifferent and dry tone of voice.

“Ja, diplomacy and scheming.” He said unimpressed. “And if diplomacy and sugar-coating would solve everything the world would look much different. It doesn’t work that way though.” The man shrugged. “And I have always loathed manipulating and scheming people who are either too foul or too weak and insecure to face another person directly and face to face and try to hurt them in a pathetic way. I prefer to solve my conflicts by directly confronting the other and not by plotting or backstabbing them.”

The blond tapped his finger onto his cheek as if he was thinking. “Hmm, if you asked me who was more stupid, the stupid man or the man who get’s played out by the stupid man; I would say the second of them. But I guess that’s a matter of perspective. Philosophy isn’t exact science after all.” The man said in a joking tone finding the thought of their ridiculous dispute being philosophical quite funny.

Cole smirked widely as the other man apparently thought he had beaten him there and he narrowed his eyes while his lips grinned widely and his green eyes blinked at the other. “As soon as you will sign the contract with my company I will have access to such information, where you live, your phone and mobile phone number and other contact data. And you seem to forget that I am really nerdy and that nerdy guys love computing. I will be able to track you down with those information’s alone and I might as well send you Bianca in a package to overseas.” He whispered in his ear, leaning so close now that the other must have been able to feel his breath on his skin.

Zane trying to appeal to Cole’s honour as a boyfriend of the blond woman didn’t really work. For some reason it never did when people were trying to play that card with him in regards to the women he had been with and this was probably because he wasn’t in love with them romantically in the first place. He just often found living with Bianca exhausting and way too difficult and complicated and when she was overly emotional, got mad for nothing, was hysterical and started arguing or she was on her period he had to admit that he wished he could abandon her on a desert island and be done with it and finally free again. The blond man liked Bianca, in a platonic, friendly way but he didn’t love her in a way that would make him willingly put up with this. “Doesn’t matter whether I am her boyfriend or not, it’s already enough that I have to deal with her overreactions when I accidently say something that upsets her. If you upset her, you will deal with her. And the way she likes you I am certain that she would be totally into being comforted by you.” The man spoke and it sounded calm but a tad too cool considering that it was his girlfriend they talked about and the other having indirectly stated that he wouldn’t be a good boyfriend if he didn’t gladly put up with her moods and comfort her in such situations.

To the blond the whole family thing was just something Zane used as a cheap excuse and Cole didn’t even bother to dignify that with another reply. What followed that however made him madder than the entire conversation they had had before, it actually made him grow colder and angrier at the other man than when he had entered the room. The blond felt his muscles tense up in fury and he now looked at Zane as if he was something loathsome and disgusting. He wouldn’t have thought that he would ever look at the singer like that but in this particular moment he could just despise what he said there and how he acted towards him.

“Listening to what you’re saying now, the way you speak about all of this and view this you’re definitely right. I shouldn’t have paid that dumb letter any mind at all. I should have pissed on it and kicked it into the dirt immediately as it apparently was only empty rubbish that didn’t contain any true meaning and substance coming from your side anyway. I should have known that you didn’t really mean what you have said once more. That’s the problem with the likes of you; one doesn’t know when they are honest and when they are not and just exaggerate things to make them sound nicer or more theatrical. Of course you can’t understand that this had mattered to me because that shit had never actually mattered to you, maybe you just wanted to practice how well you could write a dramatic letter or something. You know what - Fuck you and fuck your letter!” his bass growled as he was shouting right into the other’s face.

Cole didn’t understand what him being a scientist had anything to do with that at all and why he should agree to that this shouldn’t have had an impact on him because of his profession. This was not related. It wasn’t like he was freaking out over specific words, him ascribing words power and definitely not him taking a fantasy book calling it the word of god and following it without questioning. The letter had simply made him realise his feelings, it had raised a lot of questions in his mind and he had tried to find the answers to the questions and had struggled to find ways to deal with said answers and knowledge about himself and all of that had impacted his life.

The amused smile didn’t disappear from his face when the other was giving him examples about what he could be envy about but claimed he was not envying him for. And Cole thought that some points the other actually should envy him for but he really didn’t get the money thing. The blond had never valued wealth or money. He found money completely unimpressive. It was a necessity one needed to survive and that was all. Even though he had been born into a wealthy family he had never told anyone that they had money, he had never bragged with it and he had never felt that he had been anything better than the poor people. Cole had even stayed in his old house because he liked his old house even though he could effort a mansion or a villa now that he was making much more money as a CEO than as a Chemist. To him it was rather telling that the other had even brought the money up.

“Some good points that you actually should envy me for. But there is more, maybe even you will be able to figure it out someday.” The man said and winked at the other in a mocking way.

The blond man just shrugged. “Ja, I will, as I said I have one on mind already, bye.” He said and considered them gone, hence he started to read a report his assistants had given him two days ago but that hadn’t interested him. It wasn’t a lie that he had someone on his mind, he actually had. But that man didn’t have the reach Zane had as he was part of an alternative culture. The musician in question was a classically trained man who mixed classical and metal music together and whose songs circled around myths and legends, as well as fantasy novels, games and sci-fi. He was one of the few musicians whose work Cole actually enjoyed and he had really appreciated when the guy had given him his new album as a present. The blond was a fan of classical music and surprisingly to him he found metal appealing also. It had turned out to be not that surprising though as scientific studies had shown that fans of classical music and fans of metal music had similar psychological profiles. Beside that he liked the topics of his songs. The Chemist had actually gotten along with the artist pretty well and they had clicked well and even though Cole had had no clue about the business they had worked perfectly together because they just had a connection and shared the same interest in nerd culture.

When worse came to worse he could still turn this record company into a label for alternative music. Sure they wouldn’t make that much money anymore but the agency could still run, they would still be in the music industry and for the first time since ever there would be actual art created by actual artist in those halls. And he would most likely get along with those people better too and they also weren’t that arrogant and narcissistic. Cole came to like the plan for a last resort he had just come up with.

He scratched his chin. “Ultimately not a bad idea, Ilay and I harmonise well indeed there is one problem though - he is a construction worker. Hence he would be just as useless as I am in the music industry and I think one person in a high position who doesn’t know what he is doing is more than enough.” He let the other know about why his friend was not an option after all. “As far as Bianca goes I would give her my job if I could, I even suggested that to my grandfather and he declined, she got mad at me for not asking her about that first and just deciding that she would like to do that when she actually didn’t and she was bitchy for about two whole days but that way I know that she wouldn’t want to be my assistant either.” He explained calmly.

“Because you quite clearly demonstrated that throughout the whole meeting!” He answered the question as to why he didn’t think that Zane had to offer what he wanted from him and he glared back to the door again in the same way he looked at the manager when he sat right in front of him.

The way Zane put it his actions really didn’t make any sense but that didn’t mean that he necessarily had had bad intentions either. The silver haired had still assumed the worst of him. That aside he could understand the confusion though! The other thought he was straight, he didn’t have a reason to think otherwise and everyone actually thought that since he had made sure that no one would even ever doubt it and now the role he had played because he hadn’t wanted to accept what he was and live according to it bit him in the arse and the silver haired didn’t believe that Cole could possibly have romantic feelings towards him. It was ironic since the blond was actually gay other than the singer who, as far as he knew, was bisexual and could love women too.

“I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you!” he said crossing his arms. It was true, he had wanted it but the want was an understatement considering how strong he felt for the other and how badly he had yearned to kiss him.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise as the other’s body language changed and the singer gave him a soft look from his blue eyes that were much warmer than everything Cole had gotten from him since he had stepped into his office and the blond man examined him curiously. When he spoke he couldn’t hide that it surprised him to hear that and he struggled to actually believe that the other had not been opposed to him kissing him considering the strong negative reaction that had communicated aversion for him kissing him to the new CEO of the company.

Cole looked a little disoriented when the other man’s hands were taking his face, lifting it up and he was placing a hesitant kiss onto his forehead as he hadn’t expected that. His heart started beating faster in his chest again and his green eyes looked at the silver haired still somewhat questioning since he was confused from the fast change the other had made from being at his throat for kissing him to kissing him back, even if not on the lips. Was Zane feeling pity for him now that he had opened up about his feelings towards the other male?

He was still exercising caution when the other was calling him an idiot in his playful, almost loving way. “Don’t tell my mum that I have become an idiot though she will have me tested once again.” He joked because he was unsure how to act in that situation. If he interpreted that wrongly and responded with a deeper, more intimate kiss or touching the other somehow it could make everything a lot worse if Zane didn’t feel the same anymore. After all he was with that damn manager. So joking about his mother and how she had dragged him to all different kinds of clinics, specialists and doctors in his childhood and youth was a good way around that. Cole had spent a lot of time at doctor’s offices for no reason whatsoever. Whenever she had worried that he had not been smart enough or had become dumber somehow and when he had not brought the grades she had wanted he had had to take an IQ test in the clinic again and again. When he had done something that she had never seen in other children she had dragged him to the psychiatrist who had had to assure her that he was not mentally ill or abnormal, if she had heard about weird, rare and severe conditions she had seen ghosts about her son having signs of them and had dragged him to the hospital and had demanded the specialists to rule out that he had those even though the doctors themselves couldn’t see the sense in it as the possibility had been incredibly low and Cole had shown no symptoms on top of that.

There was a firework inside of him when he heard those words, words he wanted to hear, words that made his heart flicker from joy and not ache but he remained a little sceptical after all of that.

“Well you said you were in love with me not that you are and if you’ve really only loved me throughout the years and no one else what about your appendage?” he wanted to know but there was the hope that this actually was real now, that he could be close to him, kiss him, touch him, have him in his life again.

His new found hope got shattered into pieces like a broken window when the other male spoke again and told him that they couldn’t do it though. It felt like a punch in the guts again and he felt himself tense when the other man mentioned Bianca. “I don’t love her that way, I never have. Do I really belong to her then or am I not just holding her caught up in my play when the reason for involving myself with her originally was to appear as straight as possible to the outside world and I didn’t give a ratsass about her at first?” he asked more himself than Zane and he definitely knew the answer himself. He had done just that, used that woman for his own purpose and pretending to love her when he didn’t. Maybe he was a disgusting individual after all even though he had cheated himself in that regard more than anyone else.

He rose his eyebrows and his face went dark and stern when he heard that he had been fooled around with. “So you’re telling me that you led me on so that I would make a fool out of myself by competing with this man? Did you want to trouble me? See how jealous I could get?” he asked shaking his head. “If I didn’t feel guilty myself about what I am doing to Bianca I would be seriously pissed now.” The man told the other. “I can’t stand being lied to!”

Cole took a deep breath to not get angered about the fact that he had been lied to and led on and with a sigh he said:” You don’t need that man to keep your family away; you don’t need him at all. I could chase your family away and protect you just fine!”

Spontaneously he had no solution or answer to that his family would never accept him being homosexual because it was complicated to say the least. His grandfather had no problem with homosexual people he just expected Cole to carry on the family tree and was certain that he was straight hence it would be a shock for him and a disappointment because Cole had never told him. His mother on the other hand would certainly start to cry hysterically if she had an “abnormal” son after all who in her eyes wouldn’t be perfect anymore and maybe she would try and force him to one of those pseudo psychiatrists or doctors who did conversion therapy. Cole laughed internally at that thought as those conversion therapists couldn’t even do anything he hadn’t already tried out himself in his desperation as a teenager.

And his father was just a rather classical homophobe.

As the singer spoke about the blond’s happiness and what was best for him it appeared to Cole that he actually wasn’t happy anymore in the slightest. Since he didn’t work in the field he had lived for and he had loved anymore he felt like there was nothing left in his life that fulfilled him or that he was truly passionate about. The best hours were when he sat at home in his bed with his laptop engaging in the continued research of the team he had left behind and he wasn’t a part of anymore but wanted to be. He tried everything to stay in contact and to give as much input as he could and that was appreciated by his former colleagues but it wasn’t the same. And since it had always been the love for his job that had distracted him from his other needs and that had kept him from realising that his relationship made him unhappy and dissatisfied, he had gradually become fully aware of that fact during the last couple of month.

Did he think that it was for the better? Did he think that his image needed to stay ‘clean’ whatever that was supposed to mean? The Chemist did not know. It seemed that this was a crossroad where he had to choose between the duty other’s had put onto him or being his authentic self and pursuing his needs and happiness again. Normally the blond had went down the path of duty, the most efficient one that would lead him forward straight to the supposed goal on a well built street without any detours or complications whereas the other path wouldn’t only come with detours, it would also be rocky and come with a lot of obstacles. And that Cole had never wanted, he had never wanted to face shit and obstacles because he was into men and thinking about what that would make out of his life and the perception others would have of him then had been an unpleasant terrifying thought to him and he had not wanted such a life. On the other hand what he was living now made him unhappy!

“No!” he said voice clear face stern. “I won’t forget it. I don’t want to go through suppressing my feelings and trying to erase something out of my memory to see that it would never fully vanish anyway. I’ve tried to forget your letter and the fact that I have tried for several years says enough. I don’t want that shit another time and if you dare to run from me again I’ll hunt you down!” Cole spoke and closed the remaining distance between them. “I honestly don’t know what would be better for me or you or us and there is no formula I could calculate that with and I doubt that I would find one if I tried, so I’ll for the first time in my bloody life listen to what my gut has to say to this!” the CEO let the other know face not less serious as his left hand grabbed the other’s arse, the right one the hair on the back of the singer’s head when he kissed him another time but in a much more passionate, wild, raw and dominant way by which he made quite clear which path he wanted to follow while his tongue wrestled with the other’s.

January 6, 2018

"That might very well be true but this isn't a scientific field, Doctor. You seem to forget that in this industry, if you want to make it big, you learn to hold your tongue and sugar coat anything and everything you say. It's doubtful for you to ever be able to understand what I'm saying, you said it yourself, you have barely any experience in this field nor do you hold any interest in it. You're a man of science, of honesty and of getting straight to a point, to hell with anything else. Nevertheless, people that work in the entertainment industry don't have that luxury. If we did, I'd assure you that there would be no great actors, musicians or celebrities of any kind out in the world" Zane exhaled out a breath of silent frustration as he listened to what his old friend said about just what he thought about Zane's way of holding back the truth. "You'll have to forgive me if it didn't occur to me that putting things nicely might not sit well with you. I'll do my utmost best to be sure to make things as clear as possible with you in future occasions" he added after a moment with a small shrug as he tossed those last words out of his lips.

"If you say so, Doctor. I wouldn't dream of arguing with you over this point any longer. Heavens knows I've not been present to see what has been going on so I'm just making assumptions. I'll be sure to stop myself while I'm ahead. I wouldn't want to continue to put my foot in my mouth with you" the silver haired Idol murmured calmly. If Cole was really going to sit there and say that it was only his thoughts that were rude towards all who disrespected him, then Zane wouldn't argue with him. There was no really point to continue to press the issue. Especially when Cole seemed to be honest, even if Zane wasn't sure just how much he was willing to trust that honesty.

"And that there is and has always been the difference between us. You run head first into situations without stepping back to think of different angles you could use to approach the issue in hand. Just because I have always chosen to use my words in order to figure out a solution to a problem, doesn't mean I'm backstabbing anything or anyone. And while diplomacy will not save the world, as you said, it's still worth a shot. Better than just running your mouth with no regard to what the people at the other end of the situation might be thinking" Zane rolled his eyes as he said those words. That was probably one of the main reasons behind their arguments and fights when they had been younger. Cole could never understand his ways just as Zane could rarely understand Cole's. The two had been much to different back then and it seemed that hadn't changed over so many years.

"I'm afraid it's not though I'd figure you'd say something like that. It's a shame that I think you're wrong but oh well. I doubt we'll ever come to an agreement in this so I'll just settle with whatever you think. You're opinion is rather biased but oh well, it can't be helped I suppose" he responded with a cheeky sort of tone in his voice as he leaned back in his chair and raised a perfectly arched brow in response to their surprisingly playful sort of banter. He hadn't been expecting this but then again, he hadn't been expecting a lot of things that had happened during this meeting. He really shouldn't be as surprised as he currently was, in fact, he should have been prepared for an encounter like this one.

Pushing down the need to shiver slightly at the feel of the other man's breath against his skin, Zane offered him a haughty look while saying "I suppose you could do that, but just because you know where I'm going to be doesn't mean I'll open my door and let you in. Or accept whatever you decide to ship me, girlfriend or otherwise. It's one thing to be able to track me successfully...which would be impressive if you manage that, it's a completely other thing to actually get me to accept whatever you have to give me. Nice try though". Honestly, if he thought about it seriously, this bit of their conversation had just taken a turn for ridiculous but he couldn't deny that he wasn't somewhat amused about it. Cole could track him, it was possible in this age in time, but he couldn't force him to accept Bianca into his arms. Even if the thought of the woman crying did soften Zane's heart, despite resenting her for her place beside the blonde male.

"I'm sure she would, but darling, I don't offer my services just because I sign a contract with you. Besides, I'm not all that interested in comforting women that might develop feelings towards me. Especially women that are TAKEN. I'm sorry to say you're shit out of luck there, might as well find someone else that would like to offer their hand in comforting her. Though I could offer one of my band mates, I'm sure they'd find some time to spare in babysitting your hysterical girlfriend for you" Zane murmured back without an inch of give showing in his voice. He wasn't about to just roll over and back down, especially not when it came to who would be taking care of a crying woman. While Zane had no issues what so ever comforting anyone that needed a shoulder to lean on, he wasn't inclined to offer it to someone who would probably use it to drag him down with them. He wasn't that stupid. Despite that, it was odd that Cole didn't seem to care if Bianca ended up developing feelings for him should Zane ever come about comforting the woman. He would assume the man should have thrown a bit of a hissy fit or appeared at least somewhat jealous. To see none of it was curious but Zane didn't dare think to deeply of it. He'd rather not mess with that playing field as long as he could help it.

To say that it didn't hurt to have Cole growl at him about the letter would be a pure lie. It burned like hell with every word the blonde male spat out at him. It was almost like someone had stabbed him in the gut and every breath caused pain to ripple through him, yet Zane refused to allow it to show. He couldn't allow the pain to show, not here, not now. He didn't want to let others in, not after everything he had gone through to mold himself into what he was now. So while he wanted to take back his words and apologize for them, the male silently lowered his gaze to appear rather bored as he played with the ends of his hair. It gave the image that the rant wasn't bugging him at all yet in truth, it was a ploy to let him turn his attention on anything that wasn't Cole's angry voice.

"Come now, there's no need to get so mad about it. I'm honestly surprised it meant so much to you. After all, a straight man as yourself shouldn't have paid mind to the ramblings of your less than straight friend. I'm honestly surprised that you didn't do just that with the letter. It was in your right to do so, anyone else would have done that. Truly, by getting so mad about it, you surprise me all the more. I had my money set on you tossing that piece of paper out and getting on with your life as any other man would have done. Guess I was wrong. How about that....Honestly I do apologize for messing your life up so much with it. I wasn't thinking to far ahead after I left that for you" Zane was exhaled, doing his best at to appear disinterested in the whole conversation. It was a defensive mechanism, one he was quick to recognize but he kept it up in a desperate way to keep Cole as far from the truth as he could.

"I'm sure I will someday" Cecil responded with a shrug of his broad shoulders as he held back the need to roll his eyes at the blonde menace of a CEO he was staring at. Honestly, he had no idea how this company would survive with this kid at the head of it but he had to have some faith in the kid's grandfather. The man must have seen something in Cole, even if Cecil couldn't see anything that would make the male worthwhile.

"Well that's always nice to know. However, before we go, would you do all of us a favor and give your grandfather a call to inform him the change of mind. I'd rather not have him calling me while I'm in the middle of something just to try and convince me to come back or whatever else he would need. As much as I hold affection for the man, my schedule is a busy one. So it would be best you inform him before we actually get on our way and leave you in peace once more" Zane yawned, leaning a bit further against Cecil from his perch on the arm of the chair. He had no doubts that Cole could very well have another candidate in mind to help him with this company, the problem was to get the man's grandfather to agree to it. Zane held a very friendly relationship with the former CEO, he cared for him almost as he was part of his family. Or the family Zane had created along the way in his life. If Cole's grandfather decided that he didn't need their help after all and he was alright letting his grandson do whatever he wanted, then Zane was gone. Sure it would hurt to walk out of Cole's life once more, but he wouldn't beg to stay. He just needed to word from the old man and he wouldn't bother these people again.

"Well that is unfortunate in both causes....Nevertheless, as I said, I'll be here to help if you need anything. You'll have my file soon and you'll have my number in those papers. If you need any help with anything, just give me a call and I'll do my best to give you a hand. I might not be able to be here all the time but I tend to answer the phone no matter what. So I'll always be just a phone call away if you ever need anything" Zane said with a soft exhale of breath as he passed his hands through his long hair. He had a busy life and more projects than he knew what to do with, his time was often well used but that didn't mean that he wouldn't help a friend in need. Especially if it was Cole. Busy or not, Zane would always be around to help his friend if he needed it.

"Does this have to do with Ceci? Cole what's up with you? What about him and I shows you that I can't give you something?" Zane asked, far more confused than he had been a moment ago as his eyes flickered to the door yet again then back to the blonde. His brain trying to understand just what his old friend was implying by his glaring at the door and his open dislike for the older male that managed Zane's schedule.

Chuckling at what Cole said about his mother, Zane rolled his blue eyes and offered the male a sort of exasperated look. "I promise to protect you from your mother and whatever tests she might want to run on you if she ever mistakenly hears me call you an idiot. Though she should be used to it, I used to call you an idiot all the time when we were younger, I'm not sure why she'd think that would mean something other than just me being exasperated with your behavior" he mussed with a shake of his head and a soft smile on his features. Truly though, if Cole's mother eve truly threatened the man with tests, Zane would step in and do his best to talk the woman down from that ledge. There was a reason he preferred to use carefully weighed words instead of charging into problems full speed. His methods had worked in the past and he hoped they would work for Cole's mother if push ever came to shove.

"Cole.....Cecil is important to me, and yes I suppose I can say that I do love him in a way.....but not like I have always loved you. I see Ceci as family, as something aside from a romantic partner. We gave it a try between us but it didn't quite work. However, Ceci's kept me from doing stuff that you'd probably kill me over if you heard....He's kept me stable. I don't think I'd be as ok as I am now if he hadn't stuck around as long as he has" Zane confessed with a sigh. He meant every word he said. He wasn't in love with Cecil but the man was important to him, so much so that Zane didn't like the play with the thought of abandoning the older male he had come to relay on so much.

Cecil had pulled him out of his darkest moments more than one time. His manager had found him before things had gotten too bad on several occasions. Cecil had talked Zane off the ledge of his own despair and desperation too many times to count. Without having Cecil's constant presence in his life, Zane doubted he would still be around. As much as he loved his fans and band mates, his family's overwhelming presence put a strain on his mind, body and heart that he wouldn't wish upon anyone else. His band mates tried to keep him safe and as far from his family as they could but Cecil had been the only one to successfully be able to scare them off time and time again. He was Zane's protector more than he had ever been his lover. Cecil had gained almost like an older brother image in Zane's mind and his protection was something Zane would always be thankful for. Without it, things would have gone to hell a long time ago. Hopefully Cole could understand that, even if he didn't like Cecil one bit.

Blinking in surprise about what Cole said in regards to his girlfriend, Zane couldn't help but feel some hints of disappointment in his heart towards the male. He had never thought Cole would learn to use someone for his own devices like that. It didn't seem right and Zane really didn't like it.....but honestly who was he to judge. He had been out of Cole's life for so many years now, he really shouldn't have a say in this. Yet he couldn't help but murmur "If you don't love her, you should let her know. It's not fair for her to think that she owns your heart when in truth she doesn't even have a piece of it. She deserves the truth, Cole. Before she finds out in a less than appealing manner".

"How was I supposed to know you felt anything for me when we decided to first act like a couple? You had Bianca here and I wasn't thinking on putting the act up. I just went with it. I didn't think you'd get affected so much over it" Zane said with a note of mild annoyance in his voice despite his eyes appearing rather apologetic. "Cole, you don't know my family like I do. You don't know what they're capable of to get what they want. There's a reason I never let you or any of the others meet them when we were younger. They're vile and hateful. They'll crush you in ways you never thought possible. They'll jump at any hint of weakness in you, they'll make you're life a living hell....I can't let them do that to you. I won't just let them rip you apart for wanting to protect me" Zane shook his head as he spoke, tone haunted with the knowledge of exactly what his family would and could do. He had lived through it after leaving their town, he had been molded by them and suffered their ways until Cecil had been sent to him as a Godsend. Cole didn't know what he was considering going up against. They were older now, yes, but it still wasn't safe. Zane would never forgive himself if he allowed his family to destroy everything Cole stood for.

In the silence that followed his suggestion of letting whatever happened between them be forgotten, Zane really thought Cole would agree to it. It broke his heart to think that they would go back to acting like there was nothing between them, like they felt nothing but friendship towards eachother....but perhaps it was for the best. Cole would be able to keep the image he had built for himself as a straight man and Zane would be able to keep the blonde safe from the family that he truly wished he had never been born to. Cole would avoid any drama that would awaken from people realizing how he was attracted to other men and things would continue to sail as smoothly as possible. Hell, Zane would do his damnest to make sure that nothing came up that would ruin the life his friend had created for himself. If Cole chose to ignore their kiss and their confessions, then Zane would follow his example.

Feeling a surprising shudder of desire run down his back at the sharp declaration from Cole and he say he mentioned he'd hunt him down, Zane could do little else but blink helplessly at the male for a moment as his mind struggled to make sure he was hearing things correctly. Cole seemed serious about this. About wanting to remember, about refusing to turn his back on the confessions made just moments ago. He seemed unwilling to run from this and for the first time in so many years, Zane felt deep pure happiness reach his heart.

Unable to stop his breath from hitching at the feel of a hand in his arse, Zane's eyes widen one more time in surprise before his lips were claimed a second time and a hand was holding the back of his head. This time, he didn't hesitate, this time instead of freezing, the male acted with what his heart wanted. Lifting his hands, he wrapped them around Cole's neck and dragged his fingers through that blonde hair he had always loved so much. A soft moan escaped him as he stepped further in against Cole and pressed in close to the male's body as he could. Eyes closed as he gave into what he had wanted for so many years now, Zane tangled his tongue with Cole's battling against it at first before allowing himself to be dominated by the man that had always held his heart in the palm of his hand.

Eventually, when the need to breath became a problem, Zane pulled away but not much. Just enough to be able to trail his lips against the male's jawline and nip lightly at the warm flesh there. His fingers still buried into Cole's hair as he lightly nipped against the male's jaw. "Cole..." he murmured softly, voice filled with longing and the love he had suppressed for so long. "Are you sure about this? You don't have to do this. You can go back to the life you had before I walked in here" he spoke softly, wanting to give the man any chance he could to pull out. As much as Zane didn't want to have the blonde pull away from him again and change his mind, he was leaving the door open for Cole. It was his choice to make.

January 7, 2018

Cole grinned at the other when he told him that. “If you want to make it big, but I don’t want to make it big in this field. There is a difference between doing something to make someone else happy who does want this or to want something yourself. And regardless of how much I love my grandfather I will not change my personality or myself for him or anyone else, I am not a bloody sellout.” He said quite clear and he definitely wouldn’t. The blond male had a sense of duty and responsibility especially when it came to his grandfather whom he loved dearly but he was only willing to go so far. The man had already given up the work that he had loved but he would not give up himself for something he personally absolutely didn’t care about and that had no value to him at all. There was nothing that he would change his personality for.

What Zane said next outright made him laugh and not even in a mocking or negative way, but just in an amused way. “I would actually genuinely appreciate that so you should think about whether you want to do that or not again before you’ll accidently do something that could please me in the end.” He smirked.

“I never said that you personally were a scheming backstabbing individual, I don’t know your current self enough to judge that bit, you said there are other ways of handling things and I listed those other options for you and what I think about them.” He explained and scratched his chin at the last bit the other was saying. This was actually true. Cole wasn’t the most empathetic or sensitive individual and he often, even if not always, was unaware of what feelings his words or actions would cause in other people. He also couldn’t really feel himself into others he could think himself into others using logic and he also had some psychological knowledge but it only got him this far as people mostly weren’t logical or rational and his psychological knowledge basically just enabled him to categorise the people into psychological profiles. The Chemist shrugged. “Mmh, maybe! I use logic while trying to understand other’s motives and intentions and if their actions aren’t explainable with logic I don’t think that there is much value in trying to consider what’s on their mind as it’s just some irrational nonsense anyway.”

“I wouldn’t say that my opinion is more biased than yours when it comes to that matter though.” He commented casually and flung a smirk into the other’s direction.

Cole laughed at that comeback and he didn’t pull his head back from the other’s ear. “You think so? I’d definitely find ways and means to get her into your house, hotel room or wherever you are at this point and then she is all yours to comfort. You seem to forget that I now have dozens of people working for me and a shit ton of money that I can’t ever spend all anyway. I would get her inside of your living room straight onto your sofa without even leaving my computer alone.” He said his green eyes blinking. It was a completely ridiculous discussion and actually a joke because Cole would never care enough to go out of his way and track the singer down, even though he actually could, and plan a manoeuvre to get Bianca into Zane’s house while he could just put in earplugs and pretend he had fallen asleep when the woman would be upset about something the singer had done. This would be much less work.

Cole just shrugged. “Well, if you want to shove the mess you’ve made by hurting my overly emotional girlfriend – are there even not overly emotional girlfriends? - onto your band mates, I certainly don’t care, nor would I protest.” The new CEO said and he really wouldn’t. “But I thought you have become at least a better friend for your band mates now than you ever were for any of us back then.” He commented with a smile.

While the other man wanted to appear bored the way he looked down and played with his hair reminded Cole about the other’s behaviour from the past and he interpreted it as feeling uncomfortable or unsure how to react but he was way too angry to even care about Zane or his reaction to his words and what he wanted to tell him with his body language. He was so in rage at that moment that he seemed to burn and if it had been possible to set something on fire with fury the whole room would have burned by then.

The Chemist spat out a disparaging snort and he clearly looked down on Zane when the other had decided to continue to speak in the same way as before regarding that letter. Cole shook his head in utter disappointment and when he spoke he didn’t shout anymore despite his anger, his voice just had something derogatory and incredibly cold. “Straight or not, I genuinely cared for you, you’ve meant a lot to me but you’re right, this was wrong you shouldn’t have had any meaning for me. Now that you’re shoving your true ugly face to me and what this really was for you, I know that a person like you should never have held any value to me at all; I shouldn’t even have been friends with someone reprehensible like that. Thanks that you’ve demonstrated to me that you were never worth it!” he let him know and laughed dismissively.

The blond didn’t even look at Zane or his manager anymore and he continued reading that paper that already bored him as it wasn’t intellectually stimulating at all. Cole didn’t even take his eyes off of the paper when he indifferently pattered out his answer to this. “I will inform him about your unwillingness to accept the conditions, your uncooperativeness and your decline later on, now I have too much to do as I am rather busy myself.” He said while he was already planning on continuing his Lego construction, which was obviously incredibly important, well to Cole it was on the same level as what Zane did for a living at least. “I assure you he will never call you and disturb you at the truly important things you have to do after that again, I will also let him know that you are too busy for his calls anyway.” The blond said. “But if you want him to know it right now, call him on your way outside, you can also tell him that I have a sufficient replacement in mind already and that he doesn’t have to worry if your reason for your wish of me informing him right now is really just about him.” He said a little mockingly taking the paper away and taking another one that wasn’t any more interesting to him than the one before.

Cole’s eyes were still narrowed when he turned away from the door and he screwed up his nose at the minimisation of the manager’s name. “Quite obviously, yes! Even though his disappearing wouldn’t be a guarantee that you would have to offer to me what I want from you then.” He answered in a stiff way.

Cole laughed a short laugh. “If she had heard you calling me an idiot back then it’s a wonder that I don’t own even more results of IQ tests than I already have. Or maybe she didn’t take you seriously back then because you were still young.” He said in a joking manner and his green eyes looked warmly at the other male.

His expression changed completely when he heard the other say that his manager was important to him. The Chemist’s eyebrows narrowed, his face looked twisted and displeased to hear that while every positive mentioning of that guy out of Zane’s mouth made the beast in his chest roar and made him feel as if the silver haired male was wringing his internal organs. Cole’s demeanour changed when he heard the other talk about that man having saved him from doing things he wouldn’t be happy to hear about and the green eyes widened, looking concerned at the singer and it hurt him to think that the other man must have felt that miserable. Sure, Cole had had his miserable moments especially as a teen when he had figured out that he was gay and had wanted to reprogram his brain to not be gay anymore and he had done some idiotic stuff, calling it experiments, the burn scar on his left arm was prove of that - but it had not once gone into the direction the other male was hinting at.

“I guess I have to be thankful to this bastard for being able to see you today then I suppose.” He brought himself to say. “I still can’t stand his guts and now that you have found me again, there is no need for him to protect you anymore, I can be there for you better than him even.” The blond made clear. “I would never let you fall or hurt yourself.”

The blond was aware of the disappointment Zane felt when he heard about what his relationship was and Cole could understand this, he was quite disappointed about himself in this regard.

“I know that she deserves to know and I know that I should tell her. It’s not that I don’t love her or that she wouldn’t have a place in my heart though, I have actually come to appreciate and even love her but not in the way that she thinks that I do. I love her like I love a good platonic friend. I feel no passion towards her, no desire, no romantic love. Heck, if I did I would never be okay with her doing what she does. She is a good person and I never wanted to deceive her in anyway.” He said and sighed. “When I figured out that I was into men as a teenager I had not expected that, never even considered it as a realistic possibility as no one else would have expected me to be gay too. And I had no clue about what that meant I only knew what my parents had told me about homosexuality. My mum saw it as a curable mental disease, while my father, well, he painted homosexual men as perverted disgusting sex addicted monsters that corrupt the youth of the nation. I didn’t want to be that and I tried to reprogram my brain, I tried to cure it with different kind of methods and experiments but of course none worked.” He told the other about what had happened in his life after they hadn’t had any contact anymore.

“That led me to learn about homosexuality from objective scientific resources and I knew that there was no way to change it if I really was this and that the only option that existed, the only thing that lay in my power was to choose my way of life and the role of the straight man was definitely the more efficient road to go down in society. And I convinced myself that if I acted as a straight guy in society, if I participated in heterosexual acts I would at least in practice be a straight man and that me being with this women was not wronging them or lying to them in any way as I attempted to completely satisfy them and their needs and live the normal life with them. I never saw that I was lying to them.” The man explained and sighed deeply. “I only got aware of that when I crushed on a male co-worker from my research team though. I got aware that Bianca thought and was under the impression that I felt for her what I felt for him and I never did, I am unable to feel this for her.”

“Granted you couldn’t know that I had romantic feelings for you but you sure knew that I’ve always been rather possessive about you and that I have always been competitive and jealous when you were only about to get closer to another male.” He said thinking back to their teenage years and Cole acting in a way that he had explained to himself in a wrong way and had only understood later on.

“But that’s not the point, the point is that you intentionally lied to me and led me on, and I hate when people try to fuck with me like that.” The blond stated regardless of still feeling guilty about Bianca.

The new CEO didn’t like what the other had to say after he had said that he could protect him from his family in the same way that manager dude could and his face went grumpy and displeased as he found that rather belittling and insulting to his honour as a man, as if Zane doubted his strength. Cole didn’t like that the other apparently thought he wasn’t strong enough to protect him. And what man wouldn’t find hearing something like that from the one he loved insulting?

“Are you saying that I am weak, weaker than your oh so glorious manager. That I am not good and strong enough to care for you and to protect you? I have news for you, I am not some weakling, I am able to protect the ones I love, and I am not less of a man than this old geezer.” He said in a determined tone of voice his face still grumpy.

Cole only intensified the wild passionate kiss he was giving the other when Zane was that eagerly returning it this time and he could feel fireworks in his stomach kissing the man he loved. He had never felt something like this while kissing and he wanted more of that feeling, he wanted more of the silver haired male he was holding and kissing right now. The other’s moan and the way the singer pressed his body even closer towards his and wrapped his arms around his neck aroused the blond. This was new to him also. Kissing women had not aroused him, he had felt absolutely nothing doing that and he had only been able to get aroused by technical physical stimulation with them and only his body had been aroused then his mind had never gone along with it. Now both his body and his mind were aroused and excited from the kiss, that scent of the other male he had always felt drawn to and the way their crotches were rubbed against each other by how close they were and Cole could feel the blood rushing into his downstairs area where his dick was hardening in his pants.

He didn’t really want to unlock lips but he had to breathe and when they had parted lips a laugh escaped him. “Damn, all those troubles with getting erections during the last years with Bianca and now I only need to kiss you like this and I’m getting hard already.” He said laughing at himself again. “I am fucking gay.” The man exclaimed and this time saying that he was gay wasn’t really difficult to him anymore.

The male enjoyed Zane nibbling on his strong jawline but what he had to say then was much more serious than Cole’s surprise about getting a boner from kissing the other. “I am sure and I don’t want to hear that I don’t have to do that and that I can go back to before anymore. I don’t want to go back to before, I don’t want to go back to lying to myself and by lying to myself lying to other people and making a part of my life a lie. I hate lies and even though I do I’ve lived one, what is already ironic enough. You know what I think, I think I’ve made progress today, progress that was long overdue and I won’t step back again. I want you, I want to be with you like this because I love you and I desire you and even if you were to refuse me and my love for you I wouldn’t go back to before. I will tell Bianca that I am gay, I will end the relationship and I won’t repress my natural sexuality anymore. It was making me unhappy and frustrated lately and I don’t want this anymore.” The man made his standpoint clear and looked deep and openly into the ocean eyes of the silver haired musician.

With this he gave the other’s arse a squeeze and kissed and sucked on the man’s neck in a way that would leave a love bite while pressing him closer to his body not caring about Zane feeling how hard his dick had gotten for him. He even wanted him to know how much he desired him and had longed for this.

March 19, 2018

“No I suppose you aren’t, which again would be why you more than likely wouldn’t make it far in this field. However, as CEO of a music company, no one is going to ask you change a damn thing about yourself. You have it easier than the rest of us in certain ways. You have no one to respond to but yourself, and again, most of us don’t have that luxury. Be lucky that you do” Zane murmured softly as he combed a hand through his hair. He hadn’t expected Cole to say that he would change just because he changed his field of profession and walked into the world of music. It would be far too easy to hear the other man admit that he might just have to give way to differences in his personal life now. Cole had never admitted to such things when they were younger and Zane wouldn’t hope to hear the man admit to them now as adults. However, where Cole wasn’t willing to compromise, Zane had learned to do exactly that. He might appear to be a “sellout” in Cole’s eyes but he had had to do what he had had to do to survive.

“Oh I assure you that even if I please you accidentally, I won’t make it a habit. It’s my life’s goal to be a personal little shit to those to deserve it” The singer huffed with a haughty little grin thrown at Cole’s direction. Sure, there might be moments that he’d please the blonde without even knowing it, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try and cause Cole as much headaches as he could while he was at it as well. He couldn’t make it too easy for the male after all.

“Now, that’s just a bit rude and selfish, don’t you think. Just because you can’t understand the logic behind their reasons to act the way they’re acting, doesn’t meant that there’s no logic there. No ones going to be as easy to understand as another person. Logic isn’t all that there is to be able to understand individual people as well as you should be able to. Compassion and being able to show a level of empathy is important too. That’s something you never quite learned to demonstrate” Zane exhaled, shaking his head in exasperation. Honestly, people may have called him softhearted at times and unwilling to hurt others to reach goals he could have reached without trying. But that didn’t matter much to him. Zane rather appear passive instead of overly aggressive and insensitive. His family rules those two traits without him having to be added into the mix. People deserved a certain amount of care even from strangers to be able to feel comfortable around them, that was a trait that Zane would never abandon. He might change his skin like a chameleon to fit his roles in the music industry, but he would never change the compassion that had made him who he was throughout the years.

Rolling his eyes as Cole’s next words, giving unfit he urge he had been holding back for several moments now, Zane offered him a rather dry look while saying “Whatever you say, Doctor”. He wouldn’t argue his point on this particular topic any longer. If anything, he’d probably end up running in circles trying to get a win on the other male.

“And what makes you think I couldn’t just turn back around and head somewhere else if I came home and found her in my living room. Sure, it would be rude, but I don’t appreciate having to handle problems that don’t concern me after a long day of work. So if you want to leave her in my living room, what with all money and power, please go ahead and do so but I’ll be sure to find somewhere else to spend my time while she’s there” the singer responded, not giving in even a hint at the blond’s words about his woman. Zane might have a soft spot for the opposite gender and most times than now be willing to lend a hand.....but that didn’t mean he’d let Cole know. Besides, he meant what he said that he could simply find another place to crash for the night if he got home one night of find Bianca there. Of course, that was only if the woman wasn’t terribly distraught. Zane knew if he ended up walking into a sobbing woman, he’d want to comfort her as best as he could. However, if Cole sent her to his place just for spite, Zane had no issues in spending the night with a friend or something along those lines until Cole retrieved the woman again.

“That I have but after the amount of crap I put up with for them during the mornings, they owe me a shit ton of favors. So, dropping off your overly emotional girlfriend in one of their arms wouldn’t be harming anyone. Besides, they’ll be able to comfort her better than I can, I’m to busy to be bothered by petty drama” Zane replied with a shrug and a raised brow glance at Cole. He’d of corse explain the situation to his friend before asking for assistance but at the end of the day, he doubted his band mates would mind finding themselves with a weeping blonde. Especially if the reason behind the crying was something as ridiculous as Zane refusing to do a duet with her.

“Well I’m glad you’re finally seeing that, it took you a while. I didn’t think I’d actually have to spell things out for you. Had you opened your eyes in the past and paid attention to my true nature when we were younger, you would have been able to avoid so much pain. Again, you have my apologies though. I should have thought ahead before supposing that you’d understand how I truly was. It’s my fault...I should have let you know before even considering leaving you that letter” Zane murmured quietly, refusing to flinch or show any signs of pain towards the cold way Cole spoke. He deserved every last word the male spat out at him but that didn’t mean he’d show his pain towards them on his face. He had spent years training himself to not let the outside world look beneath his mask. It was better if Cole never knew the complete truth behind how much he had loved him all those years ago and how much Zane still loved him now.

“We’ll never be too busy for his calls. We won’t be able to answer right away always, but we’ll be able to answer if he decides to call us. However, as this was his decision and this company now belongs to you, you might as well want to call him now while we’re all pleasant. See, you might be in charge right now, but we still answer to your grandfather if push comes to shove. We don’t want to bother him too badly in the hospital but he should be kept noted as soon as everything happens almost as if he were to be in the room with us. It’s only the most respectful course of action” Zane replied as he pulled out his phone and read through the messages on it. He wasn’t going to call Cole’s grandfather and tell him that the deal was off, no, that was Cole’s job. However, they wouldn’t leave until the call was made and the older gentleman understood exactly what had occurred to bring an end to the deal. Zane had too much respect for Cole’s grandfather to offer him any less and should the older man call later on, he’d answer any questions asked of him. But if Cole wanted to get rid of them so quickly, he’d do it the proper way. So while the male made up his mind, Zane leaned comfortably in his perch and continued to read through those less than important messages that had mild amusement twinkling in his mind.

“Cole....be clear with me, what is it that you want from me?” Zane sighed out a question at the reaction the the blonde male’s reaction at the sound of Cecil’s name. While Zane had a vague idea, he had Cole to clear it up for him before he could have a complete understanding of what exactly Cecil was preventing Zane from offering Cole.

“Maybe not....then again, it’s only natural for adults not to take young kids seriously. Teenagers or not. I’m just glad you got out of whatever else your mother might have put you through if she took any of our arguments with a serious mindset” the singer exhaled, shaking his head in fond amusement at the thought itself. Clearly he hadn’t know that other man’s mother as well as he had thought. Thankfully though, things hadn’t gone as bad for the other male as it could have.

“You day this now, Cole, but you can’t always be there for me when I need you. You’re a CEO here, your presence is going to be needed in this building than anywhere else. I’m a Singer, it’s my job to travel the world and preform for the masses. Even with the project we’ll be putting together, I’m more than likely going to be away from you more often than not. You won’t be able to physically be there to stop be from being particularly stupid when things start to get too heavy and I won’t be selfish enough to ask you to drop everything for me. We need Ceci in the picture, whether you like it or not” Zane responded with another note of fond exasperation in his voice. He couldn’t understand where Cole was coming from with his possessive nature, his old friend had always been possessive over him when they had been younger, but things were so much different now and things were as simple as they might have been in the past. There were other individuals and obstacles involved now and their jobs came before any personal sacrifices, at least that’s what Zane had been taught to think.

Listening to what Cole had to say about Bianca and then his actions upon his discover of being gay, Zane felt his heart go out for him. To have parents think that badly of homosexuals and to have to go through such lengths to have to try and convince himself that he wasn’t gay, must have been horrible. Zane didn’t know what he could have done in a situation such as Cole’s. The pressure he must have felt to hide the truth from everyone couldn’t have been easy and it made Zane wish he had stuck around longer than he did before disappearing so many years ago. Maybe he could have helped Cole through the knowledge that he liked men more than he liked women. Maybe together they could have faced whatever storm raged against them. Together, fighting for one another, things might have worked out better. Bianca wouldn’t have been involved in this mess and things would be easier to swallow, but unfortunately, things were never that easy. Both Cole and himself had apparently gone through hell in their years apart and Zane hoped that now that they were together, to could begin to heal each other. Especially when the emotions the two felt for one another was now in the open air.

“And I’m sorry about that, I wasn’t thinking clearly when I saw you with Bianca. I just thought it’d be easier to pretend that I was still with Ceci. That way I’d have something to hide behind and avoid everything I still felt for you. Again though, I’m sorry for lying about that. I promise, I won’t do something like that again” he murmured truly apologetically. He hadn’t meant to upset Cole when he had said that Cecil and he were still in a relationship, it had just been a defensive tactic on his end. Nevertheless, now that things were in the open between them, he’d make sure to not repeat such mistakes again.

Sighing heavily, Zane leaned forward to press a gentle kiss against Cole’s cheek while saying “I know you’re not weak, you proved that time and time again when we were kids. But my family are assholes and they’ll know exactly how to rip you apart piece by piece of they set their minds to it. I just want to keep you safe and away from their hate towards all they disprove of. Ceci has more experience dealing with them and he knows how to get them to back them hell off. I’m sure you’ll know how to do that too, I’m just worried is all. You’ve never had to face off against them”. Call him overprotective, but Zane knew exactly what his family was capable of and he didn’t want them to hurt Cole as they did all others who stood in their path. That was why he was clinging to Cecil so strongly, even if Cole couldn’t understand that or was too stubborn to see that.

Moaning softly into the kiss as it grew even more passionate, Zane felt his heart swell with emotions. So many years he tried to push these very emotions away and now he didn’t have to hide anything. He couldn’t have been happier if he tried. Everything felt perfect as his lips slide perfectly against Cole’s and he felt the man’s body against his. There was no other place he’d rather be, his body craved the other male’s body and his mind and heart wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms for as long as Cole would have him. So as the man claimed his mouth with such strength and passion, Zane as happy enough to surrender his control over to the blonde. At this point, he’d do anything Cole asked him to do as long as Zane was allowed to stay by his side. He didn’t think he’d be able to bare being away from Cole again after being able to reconnect with the man after such a rocky start to their encounter.

Chuckling at the man’s words when they parted for breath, Zane nuzzled Cole’s neck as his hummed softly under his breath. “Damn straight you are. And I’m proud to be the one to make you finally accept that” he laughed softly against the male’s skin. To have Cole openly accept the fact that he want tad straight as he had tried to be was a bit of an accomplishment for Zane from where he stood.

Smiling at Cole’s declaration and he didn’t want to go back to how he had been hiding before, that he wanted to embrace this new page in his life, Zane nodded slowly. “Alright, then I’ll be here with you every step of the way to help you along this new path. As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy. I think it’s about time both of us got a bit of a break from the crap out lives turned out to be while we were apart. I love you as much as I loved you as a kid, maybe even more, and I’ll do anything I can to help you learn all of the interesting stuff you can do now that you’ve accepted what you truly are. As long as you want me here with you, I’ll always be at your side” he murmured quietly, smile turning soft and loving. He meant every word and though his work would pull him away time and time again, he’d never go where Cole wouldn’t be able to reach him. He finally got what he had wanted from years before and he wouldn’t take it for granted. Things wouldn’t be easy, but together he had faith that they’d make it work.

Feeling his breath leave him in the sound of soft tone of longing the moment those lips claimed his neck and left their mark there, Zane whined with quiet need at the feel of that hard length inside Cole’s pants. Running his fingers through the man’s short hair, the long haired singer moaned low in his throat even as he tilted his head back to give Cole more room to work. “God, you have no idea how much I want you....But we can’t do anything until you get things straightened with Bianca....I love you, but we can’t hurt her” he said softly, running his lips against the man’s temple as he gently rocked in against the other man’s body. His own manhood hardening with a desire he couldn’t hold back from showing.

Groaning in annoyance at the feel of his phone vibrating in his back pocket, Zane pried closed eyes open to murmur “I have to get going, love. Ceci won’t wait forever and I have to go to the studio for recording in a few”. He didn’t want to go but there was no way he’d be able to continue to make Cecil wait and expect the man to not barge back in here any moment now to see what was taking so long. “We can get the project started in two days if you want. You can come down to the studio to get a bit of a better feel for our music and we can discuss plans further then” he added after a moment, peppering kisses along the man’s hairline.

March 23, 2018

Cole couldn’t have cared any less whether he would make it far with his personality in the music industry or not and he also didn’t care that the other was trying to paint him as the lucky man in his position whereas he just sold out because he had no other option and was really the victim here. He still found people weak who changed and bend themselves to please others or to appear as what others expected them to be and he despised those even more who did it out of sheer opportunism. A smirk played around his lips as he looked into Zane’s eyes. “You know, the more I think about it the more I get the impression that I could actually make it somewhere big as an entertainer exactly the way I am. I think that there are more than enough people who are fed up with all the fake bullshit presented to them all the time and walking on eggshells who would like someone who said it how he saw it unapologetically and had honesty on his agenda. Treating the world as if he was the CEO of it and had to respond to no one! I think I would get a lot of fans with that, maybe even more than you. Maybe I would even beat you in that useless little hobby of yours that you funnily enough call your job.” The blond spoke challengingly, wanting to see how the other tried to deny that there were enough people to whom Cole’s kind of bluntness and being honest with them would cater.

His green eyes blinked and he grinned widely at the other man as he told him that he would not make it a habit to please him and that he would make sure to be a little shit to those who deserved it. “Then you should start to be a giant piece of shit towards yourself and give you hell because you definitely deserve just that.” He commented sounding amused.

Being aware of the fact that he had problems to understand people’s feelings and struggled with expressing empathy and compassion he didn’t argue against this and just shrugged. “I might not be able to learn that. Who knows! I am not some flawless creature. I have strengths and weaknesses. Handling people’s feelings is not one of my strengths.” He just commented.

The smirk grew wider and the blond Chemist shrugged again. “What you do or don’t when she is in your house doesn’t concern me anymore. It’s you whom she will find cruel then anyway and I still won’t have to put up with this because she is in your house, so why would I care?” he commented and it sounded rather cold. “However you might want to consider sedating her otherwise she’d probably follow you if you just turned your back on her.” The man said not even knowing if this would be true but that whole little banter was completely absurd anyway.

When the other stated that he was too busy to bother with petty drama the scientist started to burst out into laughter. It wasn’t only a chuckle, he was laughing so hard that his upper body was bending. “That was a good one!” he commented still laughing. “He says he has no time for petty drama while his whole so called job consists out of petty drama and triviality.” Haworth was amused and he needed some time to find his composure again and even when he got it he was still grinning in a way that clearly showed that he was at risk of starting to break out in laughter every second again.

His face only went colder and as a teenager he would have flung a nice strong punch right into the singers face but he wouldn’t do that now he had grown out of that and had better control of himself now.

“You can shove yourself your apology into your stupid arse you loathsome little cockroach! I am not accepting it. You aren’t worth any consideration.” He spat sharply and his green eyes looked at the other like poisonous darts. “Now let’s get down to business and let’s get it over with. The sooner I don’t have to look into that gross face of someone like you anymore the better!” he said and all the hurt he was feeling had turned into anger and disgust at the man he apparently had never known at all and the more Zane spoke like this the worse it was getting.

“No, I don’t want to call him now. I will tell him when I call him in the evening and I will make sure to let him know everything. However as you have noted correctly I am in charge here. This company, this building, this ground, it’s mine! My private property! And if you don’t want to work together with this company under the reasonable conditions I have set then I will ask you to leave right now and don’t waste my time any longer. I don’t make my calls when little wannabe stars who think they are something better than everyone else want me to, I make calls when I want to make them. Understood!” he said in an authoritative voice with his back straight looking down on the two who sat opposite to him. When Zane decided to disrespect his authority on his property again and ignore that the other had told him to leave Cole did reach out for the phone but not his cell phone. It was the black phone on his desk and he only had to dial a short call-through to get connected with another department in his building. “Smirnov, security department!” a deep voice with a Russian accent sounded through the room coming out of the speaker of the black phone. “Hello Dmitri! Cole speaking.” He said and the man’s voice lit up as he repeated the name and some of the other men in the background chanted “Cole” as if Haworth was the top striker in an important football match who had just scored a goal.

Other than with the popstars the blond was incredibly popular with the security department or with the kitchen staff as well as with the receptionist but especially with the security department. Not only did he let the people who had ‘real jobs’ call him Cole whereas the pop musicians had to call him Dr. Haworth because they were already arrogant enough, he also had raised their wages and he was totally into the whole security thing. The chemist had been to the security and weapons convention with the men from the security department and he had loved the technology and had shown a lot of interest in it. He had also spent a lot of money to upgrade the security department and he had bought so much that the gun lobby had made Bianca their new poster girl and had asked Cole to join them. The blond’s advisers had played party poppers again though and had said he should absolutely not join the gun lobby and that his girlfriend on their posters was already bad enough since a lot of artist were protesting against the weapon industry while the boss of their label was drooling over the technology. They had also said that it was not necessary for a security department and the body guards a record company offered to be turned into a paramilitary group. But Cole really loved science and technology and he had had a lot of fun upgrading the security. He would probably have been better at leading nearly any kind of company security, technology or even a food chain than being in the entertainment industry.

“How can I help you boss? Is there trouble?” Dmitri Smirnov the head of the security department asked.

His eyes narrowed and he weighed whether he should answer to this or not for a while before his green eyes gazed directly into the other male’s blue ones when he straight out said:”You!” Without any further explanation as this obviously made what he had meant every clear.

The chemist’s expression turned grim and he did not like one bit of what the other said there. Sure, he knew that Zane would not be there all the time, he had been with Bianca long enough to know how it was to be with a famous singer, and that alone wasn’t what bugged him but what the other said there made it much worse and it made his aversion of that man staying so close to Zane even greater. “We don’t need that bastard at all!” he hissed. “And this makes it only much worse! I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t sit here and do my stuff while your ex spends more time with you and is closer to you than I am. It would eat me up inside and I would just be angry all the time and wanting to fly over to punch that dude in the face and make clear that you’re mine and that he should stay the fuck away from you.” He told the other. “I can tell you now that I couldn’t live with this situation. I am not the type of careless guy who wouldn’t have a problem if his boyfriend stayed with his ex that close all the fucking time. And honestly, even though you might not have any feeling for him anymore or intention of getting back together with him, he’s clearly still into you. I have seen that affection in his eyes when he had touched and kissed you and I won’t ever forget those pictures and that would be all I could think of if you were far away with that guy. I can’t accept him so close to you. I just can’t! It would be unfair to ask something like this from me. To endure that you have your ex around, sleeping in the same room and that you want him to protect you and to comfort you when you need it and not me. No!” he shook his head vigorously. “It won’t work for me like that and I am not okay with this.” He made clear. “I can offer you and your band one of the company’s managers. He is extremely successful and he has been a psychologist who had worked with criminals before he had changed his careers, hence he knows how to professionally handle sociopaths like your family as he had worked with manipulative, criminal and murderous scum for decades. And the most important thing, he is a100% straight and married with kids and a grandchild is on its way. He won’t hit on you, he won’t touch you and everything will be wonderfully professional.” Cole suggested. “And because I am a nice and generous guy, I can offer your old geezer another job. He can take a really promising new band that currently is constantly on number one of the rock charts.” The blond said. “He might even earn more money than now.”

“Alright, I’ll trust you that you won’t lead me on like that again.” He said and after that a small smirk appeared on his face again. “So you’ve been jealous as well?” he asked at what the other had said about having seen him with Bianca having freaked him out.

Even though the other said that he knew he wasn’t weak and that Cole had proven that enough as a kid he didn’t quite believe that the other actually just didn’t want him to get hurt because he simply meant more to him than that stupid manager. Zane definitely thought that this guy could handle his parents better than he could and it was still hurtful. Why did he not trust him to be able to stand above his parents and deal with them adequately? Why did he think that they could tear him apart but not that damn manager? And he snorted shaking his head. “Ja, right! I doubt that you don’t care if they rip that old fart apart. You just think I would get eaten alive by them while your hero can totally deal with them. You do think he is at least emotionally stronger than me or why would you think they could get to me but not to him?” he wanted to know, still pretty much displeased. “Beside that, I have already told you what I think about this guy being around you all the time. And if you still want to keep him around you this close and all the damn time while you’re on tour this, we will never have a genuine chance to function at all in the first place. I’m not some pussy, some joke of a man who is okay with the one he loves clinging to his ex like you are doing and planning to do. Sorry if that disappoints you but either you’re mine or his, you can’t have both.” He stated.”I’m not asking you to never see him again but this, this is too much.”

While they were sharing a feverish kiss Cole could feel how Zane submitted his body to him and surrendered to his control and the blond man took full charge immediately. It wasn’t only the singer who was pressing his body even closer to the chemist’s, Haworth was holding him close and pressed his own broader but slightly shorter frame against the other too, feeling the heat and the longing they shared for each other. And while his tongue claimed the other’s his whole being was yearning for more touch, for feeling the other more intensely and closely.

The new CEO let out a slight, pleased groan that was only barely hearable when Zane nuzzled on his neck and told him that he was glad that he was the one to make Cole accept what he was. “If you hadn’t run from me back then and I would have experienced what it meant and how it felt like to kiss you I probably wouldn’t have been so damn terrified and shocked about being gay.” He was certain after the kiss they had just shared, a kiss where actual feelings and actual desire had been involved. “Why did you run from me back then?” he was curious, this time asking without a reproachful undertone.

After he had declared that he won’t go back to living a lie again the singer assured him that he would stay by his side and go through the changes together with him as he expressed his love for the blond male again. Gently Cole took the other’s face into his hand and leaned his forehead onto Zane’s looking him deep into his eyes. “I still love you in the same intense way I have loved you back than as well. I will always want you with me and I won’t let you run from me like this again. Not now where I finally, after all those years, get the chance to tell you that I feel the same and to be together with you.” The man told the other before his lips quickly kissed those of the other before their other wild and long kiss.

Zane’s longing and needy moans as well as the way the other’s fingers buried themselves into his short blond hair while he caressed and marked the other’s neck only enthralled the chemist more and it turned him on further. It was obvious that the other wanted him as much as he was hot for him and Cole could feel the singer’s cock hardening as well and feeling the silver haired male’s hard dick aroused the him all the more. He rubbed his crotch against the other’s feeling the lean man’s hard rod against his greedy throbbing thing in his pants and the stimulation they got through the rubbing made a low growl escape the man whose eyes were filled with hunger, lust and desire. “I can tell how much you want me and I want you even more!” he said his hands roaming over the man’s body, sliding down his side to his arse where his hand invaded the singer’s pants and kneaded his butt cheek. “I want to touch you and feel your skin more!” he whispered into his ear with a heavy breath that turned into a disappointed growl when the other told him that even though he wanted him that much they couldn’t go any further because of Bianca. “What difference does it make if we love each other now or after I have told her. I have to tell her the same thing and either way it will hurt her. I’m afraid it’s unavoidable and nothing that we do or don’t do will change that.” He said his other hand unbuttoning the first button of the other’s shirt while he kissed and nibbled on the man’s throat and adam’s apple.

Had his groan be disappointed before this one showed clear annoyance as the other was retreating from him to check his phone. And as soon as he heard that manager’s name a frown was to see on his face that had turned his face completely dark. Now this guy not having to wait was more important than them showing themselves their love and that prick was clearly playing captain cockblock and somehow he had the bad feeling that this bastard would let that become a habit. The prospect of working on the project was not really cheering him up again but he calmed down a little inside when the silver haired singer was placing kisses onto his forehead. The blond grabbed the other by his neck and pulled him close again, at first kissing him dominantly and demandingly before his lips travelled to his throat again where the blond left the other another love bite, a huge one that was clearly visible for everyone to see. He wanted that this manager knew that Zane was his and that he should keep his hands by himself. “I love you!” he exclaimed again.

Sitting in his bed in boxers and a white shirt, having his glasses on Cole was completely occupied with his laptop again at night. Usually this was the time where he was reading through and thinking about his former colleague’s project and the progress it made. He also used it to keep on track in the scientific world and to stay connected with the field he actually loved and was interested in. However this night it wasn’t science he was looking up but Zane. He looked up everything he could find from his biography over gossip and what they were writing about the man’s love life. It pissed him off that so many of his fans were apparently “shipping” – he had just learned that word – the man he loved with that stupid manger and it only strengthened him in his decision that he couldn’t handle it if Zane kept that man this close, he couldn’t it would drive him nuts and it would only hurt him.

This whole day had been a lot for him and after the singer had left his office he had felt a little overwhelmed and he had not known before that one single man was able to feel so many things at once. Not only that he had also been horny as fuck as the other had left him with a boner and his cock had ached and craved for attention. Then again he also had not wanted to masturbate in his office and the thought about Zane having gone with that guy with the female name had concerned him and killed his mood anyway so he had gotten over to working on his Lego Hogwarts again to distract himself and as far as the Legos went he had made a lot of progress that day. And he was certain that he had also come further as a person too, that he had overcome a huge obstacle and that he could think and say that he was gay without having to force that word out of his mouth as if it was a bad curse was a great accomplishment for him.

The man didn’t even realise Bianca walking into the room wearing some sexy underwear for him which he, as always, not notised.

Just when the woman crawled over the bed and closed his laptop without asking, getting closer to him, he realised her and her intentions. “Put that away, that is enough science for that day. You promised to be my Iron man, remember?!” she spoke in a seductive tone of voice winking at him and laying her hands on his chest. Cole was getting weirdly uncomfortable in his skin, as if he was trapped in it and couldn’t flee and somehow he didn’t want that confrontation right there in such a way. He moved away from her and tried to open the laptop again but she just closed the distance again and put the laptop aside completely, placing herself on his lap. “Bianca, no, don’t!” he said frowning his brows but next thing he knew the blond dream of straight men was letting her hand slide under his shirt and brought her lips to his neck while the other hand was moving up his thigh. “Bianca stop it! I’m not in the mood.” He tried to make her retreat. “If you’re tired just lean back and enjoy.” She whispered between the kisses and for one second he didn’t know how to get rid of her and how to make her stop touching him and initiating sex with him. He didn’t want to have sex with her. He had neverenjoyed it and knowing that he had to tell her soon enough anyway he didn’t want to do it with her another time. The man pushed her away gently before he got a hold of her wrists and his green eyes looked into Bianca’s with a serious and somewhat sad demeanour. “Bianca, I have to tell you....” she was cutting him off and trying to just continue, saying to him he could tell her after they had sex so the chemist had to shove her off of his lap. “I am gay!” he finally exclaimed his heart beating nervously and like crazy in his chest while a slight red blush was covering his cheeks.

The blond woman started to laugh right away not taking it seriously at all. “Right! I am gay too.” She said about to climb him again but Cole stopped her from doing so. “I am serious Bianca, I mean it.” He assured her and she looked at him now already a tad questioningly as to what his motives were. “Stop that, it’s not funny. I am not stupid Cole, I know that you’re not gay. We have been together and have had sex for so many years. So trying to make fun of me by making me believe this nonsense won’t work.” She said. “Let’s rather have some fun together!” she suggested and the chemist was getting a little desperate not certain as to how he was able to make her believe him and see that he was not joking but telling the truth. “This is not a joke Bianca, I am not trying to mock you. I am gay. I have always been gay and I am in love with another man. I didn’t want to be what I am so I tried to live the straight way. I had sex with you because I wanted to prove myself that this would make me straight then and even though you are a really attractive and wonderful woman I could only sleep with you thinking about men while doing it and I never felt what I felt when I kissed him, those fireworks, that thrill. I’m so sorry!” he said, his face torn and genuine. The popstar stared at him in shock. She didn’t say a word she just stared into the man’s face; the man she had thought had been hers and had loved her like she loved him. And when Cole wanted to ask her to say something, show some reaction, a small hand was slapping him hard in the face, leaving the whole side of his face burning, red and pulsating painfully.

“You kissed a man! How long is that going Cole? Did you do that all those years behind my back, laughing at me with your gay boyfriends? What am I for you, a joke?” she shouted and started to cry. “I was stupid enough to love you! But you made a laughingstock out of me. The sex idol Bianca, all of her fans get boners at her concerts but the man she had been in a relationship with for years had to visualise men to sleep with her! You’re sick Cole! What you’ve done to me, lying to me, letting me live a fake, a lie, an illusion without my knowledge. I have no real memories anymore. Nothing of what had happened in the past was real. Nothing!” she screamed. “ I have never been with any men while we were together. Nothing else but that today has ever happened. Sure I have been in love with a colleague once but I never acted on it. And yes our memories are real. I really like you and we still did all those nice things together, they did happen.” He tried to calm her down but it didn’t work, instead she let out a furious scream as she hit him in the face another time, her tears flying through the air. “You have been in love with your colleague!!” she repeated shaking her head. Deeply shattered and hurt and desperate she snorted and the tears were still flowing like a waterfall. “For you, yes, because you knew what this was all along. It was never more than this to you. But I have seen this as something different and now I know that it wasn’t what I thought and that you never actually loved and desired me, instead you loved someone else all this time. I never had you. I gave you everything while you had nothing for me.” She hissed and looked at him disgusted. “You are pathetic Cole!” she yelled while she was running through the room taking some clothes from a chair. “You are a pathetic, egotistical man whom it took thirty years to be able to deal with who he was and who didn’t care about what he did to other people’s lives to keep up a façade because he couldn’t even bring himself to accept himself. You make me sick Cole!”she shouted while she got into his jeans and his hoodie and stormed into the direction of the door. “Bianca, where are you going?” he asked and she screamed right back at him: “Away from you and your stupid face!” Cole took a deep breath, “Bianca, hun, you’re wearing my...” but he couldn’t finish the sentence. “Shut up Cole or I am going to forget myself!” she barked and slammed the bedroom door close behind himself, crying and sobbing noisily on her way to the door. “Alright, just wear my clothing then....” he murmured to himself sitting on the bed dropping his head before running his hands over his face.

Having sat on his bed for a while, staring at the wall or burying his face in his hands he took his phone and got out of the bed as he couldn’t see a realistic prospect to sleep anyway. He left the room and turned on the lights, calling Bianca’s name a few times but the woman had left the house long ago and had not come back yet. The chemist went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge not bothering to get a bottle opener, just opening it on the edge of the kitchen boards. Taking a gulp he tried to relax himself staring at the kitchen clock that told him that it was close to midnight. After he had emptied the bottle he got another one but before he started to drink it, he took his phone and typed a message for Zane. Even though he was longing for the other and his touch in that moment he knew that he couldn’t get that but he at least wanted to send a sign out. Make the other aware of him.

--- I told her. She didn’t take it well.---

He just wrote and then went into the living room with his phone and his bottle, moving the armchair in front of the TV before he started to distract his mind from all of this by playing beat ‘em up games on his PS4.

March 25, 2018

With disbelief rippling through him, Zane raised a brow at the blonde before a slow grin began to form on his face. One that was full of teeth but lacked any real emotion behind it aside from frigid indifference. “Sure, you can try to do that, be my absolute guest. The stage is wide open for you, so to speak. But if you think for one second that you can manage to find yourself with more fans than what I have, then I’m afraid you’ve officially lost your mind. I’m afraid you have nothing on me. Regardless, it’s your right to challenge me in whatever way you want, so challenge away. I couldn’t give a damn either way” Zane chuckled, even as he shrugged at Cole’s declaration to be able to beat him. Zane had sat as the crowning “Prince” of the music industry for several long years now and everyone and anyone knew who he was. His music was loved, his personality was cherished and his fans were like an army that gathered for nearly every single concert or event he had. Cole might think he could beat him at this, but the man had no idea what he was getting himself into. This wasn’t his world, this was Zane’s and Cole would realize that sooner rather than later.

Rolling his eyes at the man’s next words, Zane truly didn’t feel like answering his continuous provocations but he wouldn’t just let Cole say whatever he wanted....nor would he let him have the last word. “Sure, I’ll get right on that, Boss man. Whatever you want” he responded rather sarcastically as he leaned calmly against Cecil. Cole could tell him to go do whatever it was that he wanted but Zane couldn’t care less about humoring the man too much longer.

“Yes we all know that. It’s the core issue of why you landed yourself in so much situations in school” Zane yawned out a response because really, it wasn’t an enlightening statement. He knew full well what Cole lacked and that hadn’t seemed to have changed much even though they were well pass their High School years at the moment.

“Maybe because she’s you’re girlfriend which in turn makes her your responsibility? But fine, if you want to card you troubles off to me like you used to do, then go for it. I’ll make sure to take care of things for you as usual. As much as you might not care, I won’t just treat her like she’s some piece of trash that I don’t want to put up with....That apparently falls in your field” Zane shrugged. He wasn’t someone who wanted to put up with the problems of others if he didn’t have to but at the same time, he didn’t have the heart to turn his back on a crying individual. So as much as he’d much rather have Cole handle anything and everything related to his own personal life, if the male wanted to throw his baggage over to him, then as long as he had time, he would deal with it.

“Maybe so, but I’m getting paid for it, aren’t I. As long as I’m getting paid for it, I don’t care what I have to put up with” the long haired singer replied, looking around the office with a clear appearance of boredom. He didn’t really care how Cole took his words, Zane knew what he meant and that was all that mattered, at least for the Idol.

“Whatever you want, Doctor. But do try and make it quick, will you? As much as you don’t want to see my face for much longer, I really do have other places to be and more people to entertain. I can’t spend my whole day in here. So as soon as you’re done with us, I’ll happily make sure I only return when you have need for me” the singer answered, tone showing no emotion in it. He wasn’t giving ground under the cold, angry words used to address him or the insults that had been added. There would be time for emotions later, for now though, he just wanted to get this meeting over and done with so he could catch a breath away from this man. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to keep a steady hold on his composure.

Watching Cole lose his temper with them then proceed to call what appeared to be security, Zane huffed and rolled his eyes. Lowering them to exchange a glance with Cecil, the singer raised a brow at his manager as the older man merely shrugged and moved to get up. Turning his attention back on Cole, Zane flashed him a small smile before raising his hands in a pacifying, innocent manner as he rose to his feet. Cecil followed his motion with infinite calmness in his movements. “Now now, no need to get testy. We’ll be on our way before you throw a even bigger fit. Do send my love to your grandfather, I hope he gets well soon enough” he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door. Cecil didn’t bother to waste more words on Cole, he simply pulled out his phone and began to go through his contacts. “So, should we take Jackson’s offer then? The man seemed fairly eager to have you onboard their company and we have done some projects for them before” Cecil asked thoughtfully, glancing at the silver haired Idol that walked beside him calmly on their way to the door.

“Sounds like a plan to me. Alex and I have some catching up to do and I believe he still owes me for last time I saved his ass at the company party. It’ll be nice to see his adorable face again, beside Sydney is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. I can’t wait to get down there again and get started on whatever that man has in mind. Should be fun” Zane responded with an amused tone of voice. Alexander Jackson was the CEO of a rival music company, one that had always been the main contender for Cole’s company in regards to which would stand at the top. At the moment, Jackson was winning by quite a bit and throwing Zane into the mix would only improve his standings in the world. It would more than likely end up burying the legacy Cole’s grandfather had left in Cole’s hands but it couldn’t be helped. Zane wasn’t about to beg Cole or just do whatever the other man wanted, that would never happen. Besides the fact that that Alex and himself were great friends and occasionally a little more was more than enough to cool Zane’s head a bit. “Well you two do make quite the pair, almost enough to make me jealous. I’ll give him a call now, might as well not waste anymore time” Cecil chuckled, hitting the contact for Alex on his phone and raising the device up to his ear just as the two slide into the hallway.

It took seconds for a cheerfully deep, accented voice to answer the phone “Ceci! Damn am I glad to hear from you. Am I to assume that you have finally accepted my offer cause I have a shit ton of things I have lined up for Zanie to do when he gets down here!”. Chuckling at the man on the other end of the line, Cecil glanced at a clearly amused Zane who had heard the male’s words loud and clear. “I do believe I might just be able to honor you with my presence for a few months, Lexie!” Zane called out to the other man, knowing full well he could be heard as he teased the male he was rather fond of.

Blinking in surprise at the man’s declaration, Zane could only look at him with confusion for a few heartbeats before he racked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “You know that I would have given myself to you if you had just asked. Ceci has nothing to do with it that will keep me away from you” he murmured, trying to truly understand why Cole would think that.

Listening to what Cole had to say about the situation with Cecil, Zane frowned slowly but didn’t make a move to interrupt the other male. He knew where Cole was coming from, if he had been in his shoes, Zane would have been saying the same things. However, the thought of truly being without Cecil to watch his back was daunting. He had grown accustomed and comfortable with his ex around even if there was nothing romantic going on around them at all anymore. At least not from his part and he had assumed that not from Cecil’s part either. Now Cole was saying that it appeared that Cecil did still have feelings for him and Zane had been wrong about his assumptions. To be frank, it was rather confusing but he couldn’t just deny what another person was seeing from the outside. “I know what you’re talking about and I know it’s not fair for you. The last thing I want is to make things any harder for both of us. I just need some time to think about it. It’s not gonna be just my decision, the rest of the band has to be onboard with this too. I have to talk to them before I make any decisions. But if everyone is alright with getting a new manager and you promise to not leave Cecil out in the dirt, then I think it can work. Just give me a few days to see what everyone thinks” he said softly, trying to gain some time and not think he had to make a choice right here where he stood. He hadn’t been lying that the rest of the band had to give their opinions as well, it was common courtesy after all. Either way, he did agree with what Cole was saying but he couldn’t just make the decision on the spot.

“How could I have not been? You guys were all over each other. Just because I acted like I didn’t care anymore doesn’t mean that I didn’t actually care. You’ve known since High School that I can get testy when people get too touchy with you, so it’s little wonder that I got jealous” Zane huffed with a bit of fond exasperation in his voice. He couldn’t help it if he had gotten jealous at the sight of the pair together, especially because he knew he cared so much about Cole. With Bianca all over him, he had seen red for a moment but he hadn’t had the right to protest about it.

Sighing and lookin away from the other male when he spoke about how he didn’t believe Zane thought him strong enough to face off against his family, the singer tried to think of the best way to say what was going through his mind. “I don’t think you’re weak, Cole. Ceci just has years of knowledge on what keeps my family away and what doesn’t. Yes, I still worry about him but it’s nothing compared to how much I’d worry about you if you were to go against them. You’ve never met them, not even when we were children. I made it a point to keep them away from you and the others because I knew exactly what they were capable of doing.....But if I have to choose between you and Ceci, you know I’ll always choose you. Even if it means sending Cecil out of my world for the well being of our relationship. Just....promise me that when you do met them, you don’t do something stupid and unnecessary. They’re not good people, Cole, and they won’t have any issue with chewing you up and spitting you back out. My family is no joke, there was a reason why I tried to protect you guys from them as kids. If you’re going to be taking Ceci’s place, try and not provoke them for no reason and please be careful. Just like you wouldn’t be able to do your job with Cecil around me, I wouldn’t be able to do my job knowing that they’ll do anything in their power to destroy you just because you’ve pissed them off” he said quietly, trying to make the man see that he was serious about this. He’d willingly part with Cecil if need be, but only if Cole didn’t insist on doing stupid things around his family.

It would be a lie if Zane didn’t say he enjoyed the feeling of being held close to a stronger body than his own. The fact that Cole was dominating him and Zane was letting him, spoke favors of how much the singer was enjoying this. It had been a long time since he had any real signs of intimacy with anyone, aside from the brief act Cecil and he had put up. That this kiss and passion was coming from Cole, only made his body melt more firmly against the other man.

Sighing softly even as he nuzzled Cole’s neck again, Zane allowed his shoulders to sag in a mild hint of how defeated he had felt back then. “I’m sorry I left, Cole, I really mean it. I was just terrified and I didn’t know what else to do. We had just barely become friends and I loved everyday I was able to spend with you. When I begun to develop feelings for you that went beyond friendship, I was scared that you’d hate me and think less of me for it. I didn’t know what to do or how to behave and back then I was still rather young and foolish. I let my family finally get to me and let them convince me to leave with them. I was tired of fighting back against what they wanted of me and I was tired of trying to keep them away from you and the others. I didn’t want them to make examples of you lot just to show me what they’d do if I didn’t bend to their will. In a stupid way, aside from being scared of what you’d think, I think I left to protect all of you as well. Without me being there, my family wouldn’t have had any reason to come after you guys. Back then, in my mind, it was something that was best for everyone” he answered. Cole might not be able to fully understand why he had done what he had done, but Zane had had no other choice. At least he hadn’t thought so all those years ago. His hands had been tied and he had done what he thought was best for everyone.

Feeling love swell inside him at the words of the other man, Zane didn’t bother to hide his emotions from the way they reflected brightly in his cerulean eyes. His heart soared at the knowledge that Cole loved him as much as he did and that things seemed to finally be looking up in his personal life. “As long as you don’t let me go, I won’t run anywhere else. This is where I want to be” Zane replied with traces of just how strong his love was for this man just before his lips were claimed once more and he eagerly gave into the kiss.

Moaning low at the feel of Cole rubbing his crotch against his own, Zane couldn’t help the way he jutted his hips against Cole’s in response, one long leg coming up to wrap somewhat around Cole in an effort to bring them even close together. While he knew that they couldn’t do this here, his body longed to take whatever Cole could give him. He wanted to belong to the man in every single way possible. His body craved to be claimed and his mind seemed only focused on the chaos the blonde man was raining down on him. Feeling himself grow all the more harder at Cole’s words at that feel of a hand in his ass, Zane whined low in his chest as his fingers tightened around Cole’s hair and soft pants escaped him. As much as he wanted to just give in to all the man was making him feel, the barely there logical part of his mind stubbornly refused to be silenced. “It might be unavoidable, Cole....but it still wouldn’t be fair for her if you did this while still in a relationship with her. It would hurt her more than what she’ll already be feeling. She deserves better than that” Zane whispered in a tone that was a bit of breath as he rocked his hips against Cole’s once more at the feel of those nips and kisses worked their way across his skin. Tilting his head back a bit to give the man more space, Zane couldn’t stop the soft moans slipping steadily out of him the more Cole worked his way across his skin.

Giving into the demanding kiss the blonde pulled him into without any signs of hesitation, Zane racked Cole’s scalp with his nails lightly as he allowed his mouth to be dominated in the way he’d only let Cole ever do. When those lips found their way to his neck again, a full body shudder escaped him as he let out a breath of “Fuck...” while his body thrummed with the waves of need that crashed inside him. He hadn’t been this turned on in quite some time and Cole wasn’t helping the situation in the least. Had he been anyone else, he’d probably have given into the other man a hundred times over already. “I love you too, you insatiable, over-possessive beast” he teased him softly, not protesting any of the other man’s actions at all.

Having been relaxing at the two level condo he shared with his band mates when they spent time in this city, be it as none of them actually lived here anymore and owned several houses all around the country, Zane laughed at something stupid his bandmate was saying. The drive back home had been a tad awkward with Cecil noticing the bites and asking him about them. And when they had arrived to the recording studio, his band mates had nearly jumped him with questions as well. As much as Zane loved them as family, a real family...not the hell he’d had to put up with with his blood relatives, he couldn’t help but want to retreat from their questions. They had all known the silver haired singer had been single for a handful of years now since he had broken up with Cecil. To have him come back from a meeting with the new CEO of the first company they had worked with with love bites on his neck, well that had been surprising. Nevertheless, after several moments of explanations, things had finally settled down once more and work had continued.

Now laying here sprawled out on one of their couches with his back propped against the side of his drummer as they all sat around watching a horror movie, Zane grinned at the mocking his guitarist was doing towards a few characters in the movie. The atmosphere was relaxed and peaceful, content if nothing else. With work over for the day, nothing else mattered to them and all of them had been eager to just settle down at home and spend some time simply forgetting their responsibilities. Cecil had gone to his own condo as soon as he had dropped them off so it was only the band and him. His family, the family he had created over the last few years. In the company of these people, Zane wanted for little else though he did find himself missing Cole as the hours dragged on. Nevertheless, he knew the man was probably home with Bianca and Zane didn’t want to bother him.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Zane blinked confused at who would be messaging him so late. Shifting his hands from where they had absentmindedly been running down the back of a black kitten, a gift from his drummer a few months ago, Zane pulled out his phone to look at the message. A frown soon touched his features as what he saw Cole had written and concern filled his heart.

———I’m really sorry to hear that, Cole. Is there anything you want me to do? I know there’s not much I can do to help, but I hate the thought of what must have happened.———

He wrote quickly, lifting his gaze to the huge TV once more as he rested his phone against his stomach. He was worried about the other man and he wanted nothing more than to rush over and offer him any comfort he could but he didn’t know how good of an idea that was. Not after what Cole must have gone through in the last few moments.

March 27, 2018

Cole was not taking any of that seriously and it was all the more amusing to him that Zane, even though he was trying to seem indifferent, definitely did. Not only that he was also demonstrating his arrogance and the stupid believe that no one could ever get more famous than he was. It was ridiculous in the blond man’s opinion especially knowing how fast so called “stars” fell from grace those days. One day they were hyped and the personal idol of many easily impressed teenagers and on the next no one gave a rat’s ass about them anymore. “Interesting to see how you think you are better than anyone else and no one could ever throw you from your pedestal.” The man said with an amused grin, not impressed by the other’s words in the slightest. “Are you naive enough to think that you will always be the number one? Then I have news for you, those simple minded teenage girls who admired you and are crawling at your feet now because they like the way your face looks and your cheesy trivial lyrics make them dream of the prince on the white horse won’t be teenagers forever and the next generation won’t be into your shit anymore because they will have their own ‘Zane’. And before you will be able to realise what had happened you will just be a shadow of what you are now.” the chemist said with a shrug. “And I definitely could have my own TV show where I settle a score with all the bullshit and make fun of and bash fakes like you. Or even better, I make a show where people apply for their dream job in this record company and make them battle each other. Every time I throw one out and the one who’s left gets the job. Or I simply beat your popularity with even less effort. I could make a sex tape, then get my own reality TV show and everyone in the world would know my name and I’d have more fans than you just for a glance in my everyday life and having a really nice arse.” The blond man said with a wide grin on his face making really clear what he thought about the whole entertainment industry not only pop music. He certainly wouldn’t do any of that as he looked down on people who earned their money that way. The mere idea bored him and he actually would never watch such programs as he would have to fear that every second of the consumption of such media or stupid pop songs and innocent brain cell of his would die.

He raised an eyebrow not sure which situations the other was referring to in regards to school. “What situations?” he asked not quite sure what the other was referring to. Sure, he had had his conflicts but he could say that he never had let any bullies get away with trying to pick on him but that he had made them regret it and pay for it. Other than that there was nothing more that he had done aside from making a girl cry once with his statements but she had definitely been oversensitive, too emotional and hysterical with a bad self-confidence and Cole was also certain that she must have been on her periods so how could he have known that she would lose her shit over the truth, it wasn’t his problem.

“I have not signed a contract that would make her my responsibility. She’s an adult after all.” The blond just stated not caring anymore than before. What followed then made him laugh but incredibly dryly, mockingly and in disbelief. “I used to card off my troubles on to you in the past? That’s a joke but a fucking bad one. You have not had to deal with any trouble that I have had. There was nothing and no situation that you would have had to solve or take care of for me. You never even had a clue about my actual troubles! But you’ve never been short on the arrogance and overestimating your own importance and impact. In your little mind no one can possibly do anything without your influence and even if you’re just standing by you’re actually the one solving the problem by just being there and looking pretty. You are the centre of the universe right?” The new CEO snorted coldly.

A questioning look appeared on his face. “While it is interesting that you’re telling me know that you’re basically a whore, what explains a lot indeed, I haven’t even asked you whether you minded that your job consists out of petty drama. I simply pointed out the irony in you saying that you had no time for petty drama as stupid triviality and drama is what your life is all about and what you do for a living.”He said with an indifferent tone of voice.

As soon as the both of them got up and finally made an attempt to leave his office Cole ignored them completely as if they were already out of the door not even listening to what that manager had to say to him anymore as he didn’t give a flying fuck about him. “Problem already solved.” He just said to the head of the security department with a wide grin on his face before he hung up the phone and turned to his Lego construction while reaching out for his cell phone at the same time. Since the deal was off he would give his favourite musician out of those who were involved with the record company a call, he had been the one he had wanted to work with anyway but his advisers had interfered again because working with a musician from an alternative scene meant that they wouldn’t be able to reach the mainstream and as dull and stupid as the chemist found the mainstream that was where the big money was. However he had tried now, it was not his fault that those two had not wanted to work under the reasonable conditions he had set so his advisers, or his adviser as he now only had one left since he had fired one in the morning, could go and suck his balls now.

Cole was completely uninterested about the two who left the room, he didn’t care about whom they were calling, he was talking to the musician who mixed classical with metal music and since the man was working in the building at the moment anyway, he told him that he would come over right away and when the CEO had hung up the phone and the door had fallen shut behind Zane and his stupid manager he focussed on the Legos completely again.

Miss Meredith Turner was a tall, thin woman, with a serious face, a strictly tied pony-tail, a hard jaw line and a flat chested boyish figure. She was wearing a black woman’s suit and glasses with a thick frame. The heels of her boots were making clacking sounds that echoed back from the high walls of the building.

Cole’s last adviser was obviously in a hurry as she had wanted to be present during the meeting her new boss had with Zane but then the Doctor of chemistry had fired yet another of her colleagues causing her some trouble and she was worried that the blond man would fire one after the other and change the record company forever, if he would not end up ruining it. The middle aged woman who was experienced in her working field had already been working for the record company for over twenty years now, her heart was hanging on it and she had been a loyal adviser to the young CEO’s grandfather. As such she knew Zane as she had been there when the young man’s carrier had started.

When Meredith was rushing over the floor on her way to Haworth’s office hoping not to be too late she blinked her eyes when she saw Zane and a man who appeared to be his manager now on their way to the elevators. Not sure what she was supposed to think of this now, she put on a friendly and warm smile when she approached the two of them. “Good day Zane!” she greeted him and just nodded friendly into the direction of the manager as he was on the phone and she didn’t want to be impolite and interrupt him.

“I was just about to join you as I have been held up. But as I see you have already come to an agreement?” the woman spoke politely exuding a positive vide even though she was actually asking herself what was going on.

She didn’t have to wait for a reaction from the pop musician though as right in that moment the doors of one of the elevators went open and she saw a face that she was seeing rather often these days. A tall lean man with dyed black hair, with the top hair of his undercut bound in a short pony-tail, chalk white skin and a goatee was walking past them. The man dressed in black jeans and a shirt that was merchandise from ‘The Lord of the Rings’ was smiling friendly at the three people who were standing in the hallway as he greeted them. And when the man walked right into the direction of Cole’s office Meredith expression got slightly displeased and she had to restrain herself from sighing. “I assume that you didn’t come together and didn’t sign the contract with our company again and don’t intent to participate in our projects either?” she said her eyes still lying on the alternative musician who was a thorn in her side as the CEO appreciated him and his music too much and the blond had already mentioned turning their record company into a company that only works with ‘real artists’ and ‘stop giving idiots who are actively participating in national dulling a stage’. And it was always exhausting to argue with someone like Cole whose favourite musicians were all dead already. When she had tried to explain to him that a Wagner opera would not get any young people to storm the concert halls anymore he had told the woman that Wagner was dead since 1883 and that people still valued and appreciated his music and contribution to culture whereas no one would give a damn about any of those pop stars from today in five or ten years anymore who didn’t contribute anything to culture but were just cheap products.

It would have been a lie if he had said that it wasn’t a little disappointing to be told that the other needed time to consider that. Cole would have certainly been more thrilled if the other had just agreed and promised him that he didn’t care about spending time with his ex anymore if he could have him. That he would throw the other out of his life willingly for him. But at least the other was taking it into account and wanted to discuss it with his band members. He just didn’t want to think about what would happen if they voted against the new manager, it would be the fatal shot to their romantic future as the chemist wasn’t seeing one with Zane clinging to his ex and that man still being their manager. “Alright! Speak with your mates and inform me about the results then. I will be waiting to hear back from you regarding this issue and I hope for positive news.” He said and then sighed. “I obviously can’t force you or your colleagues to choose in favour of me, even though I would like to make that decision, it’s on you.” The CEO stated with a concerned laugh.

“You didn’t merely acted like you didn’t care anymore, you stated that you’ve never actually care not even back then when you’ve written the letter.” He corrected thinking about what the other had said at the subject of the letter and the thought about that made him clench his hand into a fist alone but then a smile came back onto his face. “But I have to say that I like that I wasn’t the only one bursting from jealousy here.” He commented taking some long strands of the other’s silver hair into his hand, playing with it.

His eyes shone brightly when Zane told him that he would actually send the guy with the woman’s name out of his life for being with Cole and for their relationship as that was what he had wished to hear from the other. The blond man’s arms wrapped around the musician again as he pulled him close to kiss him deeply and lovingly showing him how much that meant to him and how much he appreciated that. “I promise you I won’t do anything stupid and I will show myself from my best side when I meet your parents. I could even wear my tuxedo if I met them; I look hot in a tuxedo.” The CEO rejoiced pressing another kiss onto the singer’s forehead, letting out a deep sigh when the other gave a bit more information about his family. “What is your family, the mafia? Or would you have to protect and hide the mafia from them as well so that they can’t harm them?” he asked actually concerned about what type of people his parents must be knowing that the other must have had a horrible childhood growing up with people whom he warned the whole world from and had felt the need to protect his friends from. Cole’s mother was overprotective, anxious and insane with her vain of letting him get tested but she was not monstrous, criminal or murderous.

Being scared of rejection and the idea that he could have hated the other if he had confessed his feelings was something he could actually understand. He had been terrified by the mere fact that he was gay after all and had had to fight with himself and he had never been able to accept it and had rejected it, shoving it as far away from himself as he had been able to. “I can understand that. The fact that I loved men was scary enough so I can see why you would have been scared of my rejection but I could have never hated you as I have loved you that way all along, I just haven’t been aware what it was that I was feeling for you back then before I have gotten that letter. That letter had played a larger part in my youth and self-discovery than you can imagine.” Haworth let the other know. “I still have it. I tried to throw it away many times and I never could do it.” The blond confessed laughing about himself as it was rather silly and a tad sentimental perhaps.

Hearing that again the other’s parents had played their part as well the question as to what those people had done to Zane or threatened him with rose up in him again. “What is it that they actually do? Do they kill people? Do they make people have unfortunate deadly ‘accidents’? Are they legit criminals?” he asked. “From what you are saying and how you have always tried to protect everything and everyone from them they must be completely destructive psychopaths.” Cole found as that was the image the other was giving him from his parents.

Heat and lust was consuming his body and he could hear himself letting out a deep pleasured growl when the singer was jutting his hips against his crotch and he felt the man’s leg wrapping around him, pressing them even closer. His breathe was heavy and hot and his green eyes looked into the blue ones with clear desire and arousal. Cole was going crazy for the other and he wanted to feel him. His other hand was sliding underneath the male’s shirt tracing his muscles and feeling the soft, warm skin until his fingers reached Zane’s nipples which he caressed and teased. He could hear the singer protest and say that it did make a difference and that they just couldn’t do that as long as he was officially still in a relationship with Bianca as the woman deserved better than that. It was reasonable and the chemist knew that he was right but just as the silver haired had sounded completely horny and longing for it so was Haworth. “You’re probably right but I’m yearning for you, I want to touch and feel you that badly, I want to be inside of you. I am not sure if I can restrain myself, that’s how crazy am I for you.” He breathed into the other’s ear with his husky voice another slight moan escaping him as the other man had rocked his hips against his again and he was feeling sparks from them rubbing their clothed dicks against each other. “You apparently can’t hold yourself back either.” He noted and felt the man’s hands digging into his blond hair while the chemist let the hand from the silver haired man’s arse move along the thigh to run over the hard, heated bulge in Zane’s pants getting even hotter at the feeling of the man’s hard cock that he firmly grabbed with his hand before his lips feverishly locked with the other’s again, their tongues wrapping and sliding around each other like two male snakes fighting.

He not only enjoyed how Zane submitted his mouth and his body to him, it also made him get even more aroused how he could make the man’s body melt and yearn for him and a smirk firmed on his lips when the singer let out a moaning breath of ‘Fuck’ at the attention Cole paid to the man’s neck and throat. He just stopped making the other’s body feel good and turning Zane on further for a second when the man teasingly called him an ‘insatiable, over-possessive beast’. It made the chemist grin dirtily into the other’s face and his green eyes indeed had something of an animalistic beast in them as they were full of that untamed sexual hunger now. “I like being your insatiable, over-possessive beast!” he groaned huskily into the man’s ear, breathing heavily as he was in an extreme heat and his cock was throbbing and twitching like crazy in the way too tight pants now, thrusting his crotch against the other’s again while at the same time giving the man a playful but firm slap onto his sexy arse, pressing him closer in the process but it was no use as he knew the other would probably keep stubborn and wouldn’t give in to having sex with him right there right now, following their desires and forgetting everything else.

Cole was at the fifth beer when Zane replied to his message. The blond scientist in his loose boxers and the white shirt paused his game and stopped beating up video game characters for a moment to read the message from the man he loved right away. His green eyes read those words and without thinking the new CEO type a reply. He probably wouldn’t have sent this wouldn’t he have been feeling rather restless and wouldn’t he have had five beers already. It was late after all and the musician probably was in bed or doing something else and had not made any plans for Cole that night, so expressing that desire was probably a little impudent of him.

---I want to hold you.---

He typed right away and then quickly added.

--- I don’t care about what has happened or what Bianca thinks or feels about me now. She can hate me, it’s her right to do so. I just want to feel that this is, that we are, for real now. I want your presence. ---

The man wrote about to turn back to his video game when he decided against that, put the controller away again and picked up the phone following his urge to write Zane again.

--- I love you. ---

He typed, then he looked at his phone seeing how quickly he had flung all those messages at the other realising that this must have been incredibly annoying, an absolute pain in the arse. Cole didn’t want to have someone bombarding him with messages in the night like this, asking him to come over on top of that. Well, he would have been annoyed with anyone except for Zane.

--- Sorry. Don’t wanna ruin your night.---

The chemist typed another time and then put the phone away from himself out of his reach so that he wouldn’t burden the other with another shit ton of messages, turning back to the game now.

Path to the Heart [GodofMischief&Hideki] (Private)

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