Amander123 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 This poem is a little darker than the other poems I have written but I hope you still like it "Decay" Out of the light And into the dark The hot crimson liquid And a permanent mark A razorblade in hand And a gun in the other It's all thanks to you My dear sweet mother Cutting away pain And erasing the sorrow This world is so rotten With no hope for tomorrow Decay is inevitable It cannot be changed So I'll escape reality This way I have arranged Lifting the gun The barrel to my head I pulled on the trigger And now I am dead 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 @amander-sama . .this is so PAINFUL poem, while i'm reading this, a question was build inside my head, i'm wondering, "is this pertains to you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 @amander-sama . .this is so PAINFUL poem, while i'm reading this, a question was build inside my head, i'm wondering, "is this pertains to you?" Yes, it does... This is not about anything recent though. This was written about a situation from my past. So don't worry because I am much more happy now than I was back them 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenovaVII Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 This one cannot be referred to as just dark but rather deliciously dark. I could see the picture of it since the first verse. It's the last strophe that does it for me, though. The rhythm is simultaneously agonizing and electrifying. Also I don't know if it was intended, but I really felt a tint of sarcasm on the very last sentence and it filled me with a sense of pride just for the simple fact of reading it. It's indeed deeper and surround by a depressing and hopeless aura, as compared to your other ones, but instead of striking me as a self-mutilation and suicide attempt (ultimately successful), that obvious piece of information jumps to second plan and all i can think about while I'm reading it is how well-timed and how wonderfully placed it feels. I enjoyed it very much. Keep writing and posting your poetry, Amander. I'll be sure to devour them all :cuteonion46: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 @Jenova Wow Thank you soooo much for your thoughts and feelings about my poem!!! I am really glad that you enjoyed it as much as you did! I will definitely keep posting them as I write them. I'm happy I have fans lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmiZea Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 I have read it a few times now, and I really like it.. Cutting away pain And erasing the sorrow This world is so rotten With no hope for tomorrow I really like this part, maybe cause I have been in that situation and felt like that, but luckily its in the past.. but I still have a thing for dark poetry and this is nicely dark minded for my taste, I guess I can just relate more easily to dark poems, then the happy and joyful ones, so thanks for sharing this one with us 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Thank you very much EmiZea. I love dark poetry so much too. Anything dark draws me in For example, I love Edgar Allen Poe's stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmiZea Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Your welcome Amanda I don't know his poetry, well I remember I had about him in school, but that is many years ago. I just remember his name and that he was a poet, but can't remember any of his work, but I just looked him up and I think it seems interesting indeed, and I can understand why you like his work 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 His poetry is quite interesting. He definitely has some issues lol. But his works are very complex and demented but I love it lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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