Daydreams: Sensorial Labyrinth

[JenovaVII]

This is not exactly a poem... It's more like a poetic drabble. Or something.

I was just going trough my stash of written rambles dossiers on the selves and came across this one. It's for Portuguese Class, 10th grade I think. I didn't understand why I had good grades and still don't, but oh well.

I just translated it form Portuguese to English as I transcribed it directly here so... (It can be pretty though to convey the meaning of certain sentences when there are untranslatable word. Tch.)

Hope it's amusing, at the very least (:

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Sensorial Labyrinth

 

There she was alone and lost.

Maybe abandoned or maybe even forgotten. Maybe not.

Round and round, round rounds. Perfect circles as if drawn by the most rigorous of compasses. They came from the nothingness, invisible lines, imaginary lines. They revolved around her. Only her.

Completely disconnected from her surroundings. Untied from everything and everyone. A being merely free. A happy creature, internalized and questioned to herself: "Could it be...?" - but to the question was not given a single answer.

All of a sudden she thought what an idiot she was, laughed out loud at herself. Was she crazy? Didn't perceive it, didn't get it... Didn't even comprehend it. Everything was nothing and at the same time nothing was everything. Could it be an hallucination, a mirage? Would her imagination be so fertile as to be capable of preparing her a trap worth of such strategy, trip her and lead her to think it might be possible and allowed for her to build her own World?

No! It had to be a lie. Another one. Yes, it had to be that! After all, it was just another one in the middle of a vast amount of many others...

Suddenly she would sense herself returning to the devastating and strangely familiar reality, the same one from which she had always run away from. In times past, she created a fantasy. A fantasy shrouded in magic, and put her in safety, in a special place. A den only hers, where nobody would be able to set foot upon. Where to no one would it be permitted a stab at wracking her personal paradise.

She would find herself fighting against the most absurd and stupidly ironic of thoughts she could imagine, whose ideas would consume her insides. But, however much she struggled, there was no point, for it was completely and outright worthless...

There was no strength left to break the chains she was captive of and extricate herself from her odious burden. She would then laugh again at her own miserable faith, such undeniable failure, and would repeat, one time and another, that one question, rhetorical. Always.

Ever since she knew herself, and had notion of time, it was like this, but it was not her fault. Although she was aware of her own powerlessness, she persisted in tormenting her own soul, stabbing incessantly, without pity and a minimum of mercy, her own Self.

Her only consolation was the acquired knowledge , that one day everything she had been through would come to an end, at last. She knew the end was near, observing attentively the long awaited path, an open door. Without realizing her own stupefaction, without any notion that she had already, in fact, experienced all of this countless times, in the past.

Once again, the fault did not lay with her, she just did not remember anymore. Or maybe she did, and even so, she would not have the tiniest chance, not the slightest inning, of controlling herself.

All of a sudden, everything went dark. And bright again. Blinding colors and frighteningly gray shadows. The ears throbbed, the throat tightened in a knot. She suffocates, the oxygen extinguishes itself. The butterflies took off in direction to the empty stomach, which roared like a lion and the bomb, that one looked like it was barely imploding!

The seconds were running out, she knew it well. But the panic... that one she could not prevent. It was due time, the inevitable closed in at the speed of a cotton seed being blown away by the wind.

The unknown dragged itself through the dirty ground. In the air, it could be felt...

An initial blare could be heard, followed by sound both shrilling and uniform. Between highs and downs, it repelled tremendous values of decibels!

Eventually it came the Peace, white was seen and only white. The windows opened sudden and spontaneously. It was automatic. The landscape was unfocused...

It came to and end, once again. She got up and turned off the alarm. She rubbed her eyes and said loudly: "One more dream..." - she sighed.

[brohne]

Translation hiccups aside, this was a tour de force of sensory imagery that left me breathless, my skin tingling. With only a few slight modifications and editing to make the English version flow a little better, this would be perfect. I can see why you got good grades. I am very impressed with this.

[K]

. .one-san, to tell you the truth, i read this for how many times in every part just to understood this, but what was in my head while reading this was the movie PAN's LABYRINTH, i don't know but i felt the connection between them, i imagine things just like that movie

 

. .uhmmmm, as what sarah says, you're such an interesting person, the way you convey your words and detailed your feelings towards things, of how you express yourself, such AMAZING! ^(O.O)^

 

. .i told my mother to read your work, and the only line that she utter was, "Maybe she's a writer, is she?"

[JenovaVII]

@ brohne

Thank you very much for the critique, your opinion means a lot to me, even more so in the writing department.

 

@ cloudy

I'm happy it reminded you of such a movie, I love Pan's Labyrinth like crazy so it's actually quite an honor. Thanks for the kind words. And your mother is sweet. onion0

 

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It's merely a wandering of my deviant mind so I'm really glad you both enjoyed it.