Amander123 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Okay, another darker poem. Tell me what you think! I literally just finished this like 30 seconds ago lol "Revenge" These hands stained with blood Quiver in the dark night With no home to go back to I hide myself from the light My vision is blurred And tears mix with blood My clothing is torn My face tarnished with mud Eyes burning with fire A soul cursed by the devil I have achieved my revenge And it's now time to revel The filth of the world Must be demolished by hand People are too weak And are unable to withstand I lick my blade clean Knowing what I have done As demented as I am I still found this all fun Your body now lays there Covered in liquid fire I've always known the truth You were nothing but a liar A smile escapes my lips As I toss your corpse a rose I bid you a goodnight As this case comes to a close 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ueda_Angel Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I rest my case you are more talented them me. I could never write that well and NO ARGUING ABOUT IT! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenovaVII Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ahah, SO cool *.* I found myself grinning like mad throughout it all. I could totally see myself as the psychotic poetic subject :msn_red_fox 9 The highlight for me is from the 3rd strophe onward: I lick my blade clean Knowing what I have done As demented as I am I still found this all fun Your body now lays there Covered in liquid fire I've always known the truth You were nothing but a liar A smile escapes my lips As I toss your corpse a rose I bid you a goodnight As this case comes to a close Thank you, it was a great read, Amanda. Bloody amusing, literally ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 @Ueda_Angel I still think you are way better than me!! @Jenova I'm glad you liked it!!! I had a feeling you would enjoy those lines at the end :msn_red_fox 9 But thank you very much! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 A smile escapes my lips As I toss your corpse a rose I bid you a goodnight As this case comes to a close[/color] . .this was the final blow i really really liked, rabbit14 . .what more could i say, amander-sama, no ordinary words can express when i always read your poems, :hamtaro-005 (19): . .it's just that, i TOTALLY APPRECIATED every work you made . .btw, i'm still working on a poem (dedicated for my mom) amander-sama, it was also kinda dark, it's been 2 days and i haven't finished it, i'm still finding for right words that could detail my mom, (as a poet of dark poems, please, express everything that you'll feel while reading it), i'll do my best to finish it till night 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 @Cloudy-chan Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you like my poems so much :3onion15: I look forward to reading yours soon and I will definitely tell you what I think about it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TricksXia Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Wow! This is what exactly I'm feeling right now! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilredphoenix Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 WOW! Amander the words seem to flow from your pen and are very descriptive with power and emotions behind it. Hope continue to share your work with us all here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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