The World Beyond [Gladis&Hideki](Private)

[Gladis]

Calum wasn’t sure what he’d expected Asher’s reaction to be, but he he certainly hadn’t expected to to sneered and yelled at. Perhaps he deserved it. It couldn’t be denied that by trying to compromise, he had been sending mixed messages. He had said things he probably shouldn’t have, and in the end it had only served to confuse Asher, as was evident by his outburst. And yet, even though he was aware of this, he couldn’t help but feel aggravated by the others accusations. It hurt. His words, his booming voice and the contempt in his eyes. It hurt. It hut more than it should have.

 

Calum’s jaw set, his lips forming a thin line, anger and pain glowering in his emerald gaze. Even so, he remained silently seated, making no move to interrupt Asher in his rant. He wasn’t just taking it like a spineless coward, either. His back was straight and his head held high, never once breaking Asher’s gaze. Only when it seemed to be over, did he finally speak.

 

”... Are you done hurling accusations at me like a hapless child?” He asked, calmly, though there was a slightly venomous edge to his voice. ”Because I think you’re being pretty unfair.” He picked up the sponge from the floor. ”And you’re getting it all wrong to boot. Why would I tell you that there’s nothing wrong with sex, if I didn’t wholeheartedly believe that? It makes absolutely no sense. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. My people don’t have the same reservations you have made so blatantly clear your people do. If we did I wouldn’t exist, Anya wouldn’t exist – and really, none of us would exist, because here children aren’t made in artificial wombs.” He spread his arms in pure exasperation, as if to underline his point. ”But what I thinkdoesn’t really matter, does it? Because it won’t change the way it is viewed on your home planet. I’m not arrogant enough to claim that the way of my people is better or more ’right’ than how your people do things. Maybe we’re right, maybe we’re wrong – honestly, it doesn’t even fucking matter because that’s not what this is about!” his grip of the sponge tightened, water splashing onto his feet.

 

”Think, Asher,” he hissed, raising a quivering hand to point to his own head, ”Yes. I could have kept touching you when you asked me to. I could given in to my desires, and taken exactly what I want. It would have been so much easier. So much easier than to restrain myself. Why do you think I didn’t?” It was a rhetorical question, because before Asher was given a chance to anwer Calum continued. ”Because when I asked you before, you said you want to go back home. And as long as that’s your desire, you will have to stick to the rules of your home planet. You can’t have both. If we were to fuck now, and in a year or two or five, you get the opportunity to go back – what do you think would happen? Could you lie to your superiors if you were asked about it? Could you tell them, with a straight face, that you had not committed any ’crimes’? Because something tells me the answer is no. And then what? You told me that offenders of the law are locked away in a facility. Do you think I want that? Do you think I could live with knowing that I have robbed you of your freedom and future, simply because I gave in to that desire?” By then his anger had ebbed away completely, leaving only pain and frustration. ”I want you, Asher. I want you so much, and had things been different, I would not have hesitated. I would have had nothing to lose, and even now, I don't. But you have everything to lose. And only you can make the decision whether giving in to your desires is worth it or not. Personally I don’t think you have spent enough time with us for there to even be an actual choice. You’ve barely been here for two months, and you spent nearly all of that time coped up in ’nan’s cottage. You have no idea what life at the Myre is really like, or what it would mean to stay. To make that decision now would be beyond reckless. Can you see where I’m coming from?”

[-Hideki-]

When the other was calling him a hapless child and was asking him whether he was done or not he gave Calum a sharp glare. “Yes, I am done Calum. I am completely done with all of this shit!” he got back to him and started to get dressed in the clean clothing that he would wear under his combat suit. He only listened half-heartedly while he was dressing himself and closing his pants. He laughed cynically when the other said that he was not arrogant enough to think their way was the right one and that right or wrong didn’t matter. “There can only be one right way. If Xenon was right you would be wrong. If you were right Xenon would be wrong. Both can’t be right as they are mutually exclusive.” He stated pointing into the brunette’s direction with his shirt. “And what is right and what is wrong, what is smart and what is dumb is all that matters! It’s the only thing that this is about! Maybe on your chaotic little planet where there are no fucking rules and laws and everyone can just do what they want, where right or wrong is irrelevant to the people as you demonstrate right here, that’s not the point but to me that’s the point!” he barked.

 

The frown buried itself deeper into his face when he was putting his combat suit over his fresh clothing. “Of course I would not lie! I am not a pathetic lying piece of garbage. I wouldn’t even try to lie. I would own up to my doing and take the fucking consequences like a man! But your men here don’t seem to have a freaking spine anyway; your brother is a prime example of cowardice.” He stated finding the mere idea of not standing in for the own actions and lying about it pathetic. The angry man who mostly wanted to punch the shit out of himself for having fucked up closed his combat suit and put on his helmet. The mechanic sound of his voice made it seem calmer and less aggressive than it actually was when he snorted another time. “What made you think that I was thinking about staying here? I can make this decision right away, right here, right now. I would never, never stay at that bloody planet, that nihilistic shithole full of relativists without real values who don’t care about wrong or right and have no sense for the greater good, stained by religious lunacy which’s environment makes me sick voluntarily if I had an actual choice. This is a place of chaos without order that has made my mind go to insane places. I fucking hate it!”

 

With that rant born from confusion, being completely overwhelmed and angry about the whole situation but himself all the more he walked to the exit of the bathhouse. “And next time, don’t send contradictory messages and signals.” He said. Asher couldn’t understand the brunette’s mindset, that mindset that wasn’t clear and tried to balance his own opinion with the ideas of Xenon, taking them into account. Ash and the Xenonian’s didn’t take anyone else’s way of life into account, they were raised with a totalitarian view in which there could only be one way which then was the right one, that was their way, their way was the superior one. The argument that the other wanted protect him from having his freedom taken away was nothing he could grasp either. He had never had freedom and in his view what the other had described as freedom and what he had experienced as belonging to the supposed freedom was not desirable in his eyes and he didn’t want it.

 

He stormed outside into the night, his combat suit lighting the way and he felt tired but somehow the idea of that bedroom bugged him and made him feel locked up, hence he wandered around in the village. He threw stones into the river for a while as hard as he could, he was kicking at flowers because they made him sick and he felt like wanting to be angry about them too, he found weird huge creatures with hooves on a field that ran away from the light that his combat suit made when it was scanning them so that J.O.S.H. could tell him what it was, when he passed the well he shouted into it as loud as he could his mechanical voice echoing back to him until he went to the ruins of his battleship at one point and touching some parts of it melancholically before his anger and frustration, his home sickness overwhelmed him again and made him curse and kick the remains of the trashed battleship because it was destroyed and he couldn’t go home until he sank to the ground next to his battleship and looked up to the sky, shouting that they should fucking come here and get him as he was not dead, before he resigned and laid down onto the grass – which he only could bear due to his suit – falling asleep as his body was exhausted.

[Gladis]

Asher’s words burned like the fire crackling in the oven, harsh and unforgiving. Anger boiled up within him all over again, and with it sadness and desperation. He had never light to fight, never liked to argue, and he had told Asher as much. He was the kind of person that compromised, that always tried to find the road in the middle. Yet with Asher, that road in the middle seemed endlessly difficult to navigate. He didn’t know which buttons he could push and which he should stay the hell away from. Right in that moment, it almost felt as though they were speaking completely different languages. His words reached Asher, alright, but by then they had become distorted beyond recognition. At least, that was what it felt like. Although come to think of it, wasn’t that what it felt like all the time? The only difference was that usually, Asher wasn’t up in fumes, so Calum could take his time to explain whatever they were talking about. Now though? He could barely even get a word in, Asher’s voice filling the bathhouse in a constant stream of anger. It was almost suffocating. On several occasions he opened his mouth to speak, yet no sound came out. His throat felt tight, constricted by the pain in his chest.

 

”Everything isn’t always that black and white, Asher!” Calum yelled after him as he left, ”Everything isn’t-” his words were cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut, plunging him into an unbearably heavy silence. He was alone, his mind reeling with everything that had just transpired. He felt numb, exhausted and furious all the same. The sponge in his hands had almost been completely wrung dry. He tossed it into the basin, letting out a loud growl of frustration. Then he picked up the soap – the same stupid soap Asher had used, and flung it against the wall with as much force as he could muster – watching it crack and break apart with morbid satisfaction. Only to realize a moment later that it wasn’t making him feel any better at all. All it had served to do was act as a pretty accurate visualization of his inner turmoil.

 

Getting up, he made quick work of the washing up process, wanting nothing more than to be out of there already. It wasn’t long thereafter that he came stomping into his grandmother's cottage, freshly bathed and fully clothed. The elderly woman looked up from where she was seated in her rocking chair by the fire, halting her knitting as she raised an eyebrow.

 

”Where’s Asher?”

 

”Don’t know, don’t care.” Calum snapped through gritted teeth, barely paying her or the dog by her feet any heed as he crossed the room in a few long strides, slamming the door to his own room shut in his wake. He sat on his bed, burying his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with emotion. Outside he could hear movement, the sound of slippers approaching his room. It was quickly followed by the sound of someone knocking on his door, and his grandmothers soothing voice.

 

”Calum dear, what’s wrong? What happened?”

 

Calum did not respond. He didn’t think he could, even if he would have wanted to. His heart once again felt like it was being crushed under a heavy weight, and he felt sick, as though he was going to throw up. Yet all that spilled past his lips were soft, involuntary sobs. Why did it hurt so much? To be told all those awful things, by the person he had grown to like so much over the past two months? Why?

 

The door creaked open and the elderly stepped inside, the light of the main area reflecting on Calum’s tear streaked face as he looked up to meet her gaze. She paused, then shut the door to keep the dog from following her, making her way over to the bed.

 

”Oh my sweet, darling child…” she murmured, taking a seat beside him. ”It’s okay sweetie… it’ll work out, you’ll see.” She patted him gently on the back.

 

***

 

Jack had always been a bit of the villages golden boy. Blonde, blue eyed, tall and handsome, he was a stark contrast to Calum. Elizabeth had always been quick to point out that what he lacked in brains he made up for in brawns, and perhaps that was true. Jack was also a hopeless womanizer, and unlike Calum who’s night had ended in disaster, Jack had seen great success with Mathilda, the butcher’s daughter. He was practically glowing as he tracked across the field towards the sleeping village, a few strands of hay still sticking out from his hair. The lantern in his hand swung back and forth with his cheerful stride, and he hummed a happy tune.

 

That was, until his foot suddenly hit against something hard.

 

”What in the?!” He exclaimed in surprise, stumbling a few step backwards. At first he nearly dismissed it as a rock, but a flash of metal caught into the lanterns orange light caused him to reconsider. Creeping closer, he carefully brought the lantern closer to the strange object, allowing it to be enveloped by the light. And what he found nearly had him drop his jaw through the ground.

 

Asher’s suit! He vaguely recognized it from the few times he’d been over at Calum’s house the last two months. At least he thought it was the suit. Jack had never seen it entirely put together before. But what was it doing out there, in the grass? Asher wouldn’t just carelessly have left it there, would he? That didn’t make much sense. Maybe someone had stolen it but then discarded it there for some reason or other? That didn’t make a lot of sense, either, but it was the only feasible explanation he could think of.

 

”I should probably return it to them…” he mused, thoughtfully scratching his head. Yet the moment he grabbed hold of it by the arm and attempted to drag it along, he realized that something far more sinister was going on. It… it was far too heavy to just be a suit. A cold shudder traveled down his spine, his heart beating at twice the normal rate. Letting go of the suit, he gazed down at it in horror. He swallowed.

 

Was there… was there someone inside?!

[-Hideki-]

Asher had slept deeply until he felt a touch on his arm. He was awake immediately and had the person not retreated he would have counter attacked right away. Now he just got his torso up though, his suit getting out of the sleeping mode, J.O.S.H. scanning his surroundings, Asher alarmed. His blue eyes stared at a blond, blue eyed pretty boy with a lantern who was looking at him scared but also with some curiosity as if he was a complete mystery to him. The man’s vital date didn’t show that he was attempting to attack but all the more ready to flee and even though the soldier didn’t let his guard down he relaxed a little.

 

After he had looked at the villager for a few seconds he thought that he knew the guy and he was certain that this was that friend of Calum. Asher had not remembered the name. In the last two month he had seen so many new faces and had heard so many new names that he had not recognised all of them but only the important ones from the people he had interacted with most. “You are Calum’s friend aren’t you? I have seen you two or three times or so.” His mechanical voice sounded through the silent and starless night.

 

Though it seemingly was that guy he didn’t really understand why the man was not at his house like Calum and the other villagers but was running around over a random field at night. That was strange and suspicious. Maybe he was a spy or something? “What are you doing here out on the field at the ruins of my battleship? With dried grass in your hair? How did the grass get into your hair and where is the grass from?” he wanted to know getting up from the ground standing up. Somehow he doubted his own theory that he was a double agent and wanted to sell out his people since whenever he had seen the bloke he had made a rather simple-minded impression. Then again this could have been an act and if he was not committing some betrayal or something he wouldn’t sneak around here at night right? There had to be some plan, some scheme behind this.

 

He was watching the man closely and the other had something triumphing in his eyes and his body language, as if he had just successfully accomplished a mission. “What have you done? What was your mission?” he asked sharply with narrowed eyes hidden under the helmet eager to figure out what was behind this encounter now. He wouldn’t let a traitor who had apparently secretly left the village and was now sneaking back in harm Calum or his grandmother. Aside from the fact that a traitor was one of the worst possible things to be on Xenon and he despised them he also wanted to protect those two. Hence he needed to figure out what that man was up about.

[Gladis]

”Ah!” Jack jolted in surprise as the suit began to move, his eyes growing wide. He took a few steps back, gazing at Asher in bewilderment only to relax when he began to speak. It turned out that there indeed had been a body inside, but at least it was a body he thought he knew. And it wasn’t dead, which had been Jack’s concern only a few moments prior. He wearily nodded his head at the others question.

 

”You’re Asher, right?” He asked carefully. Really, him being Asher was the only feasible explanation, but he still wanted to be sure. Jack was just about to follow up with a question on what the heck he was doing sleeping out there in the field, when suddenly his own ventures were questioned. He blinked, a cocky grin slowly spreading across his features as he folded his arms across his chest.

 

”I’m sure ya’d like to know, don’t ya’? Well, that’s none of you-” the moment he registered the sharpness in Asher’s tone, his smile faded and he quickly raised his hands into the air. ”Wow, wow, wow! Hold your horses for a moment there! I was only seeing Mathilda but please don’t tell anyone because her dad doesn’t know we’re dating and he’ll flay me alive if he finds out!” He blurted it out so quickly, nearly stumbling over the words in the process. Jack shuddered at the thought, his eyebrows knitting into a frown as he kicked the grass in mild annoyance . ”Old coot doesn’t like me very much, he doesn’t. Thinks I’m only fooling around, and like, maybe I have in the past but not this time! It’s true love! But he ain’t getting it...” he trailed off, realizing that he already had revealed way too much about himself. Scoffing, he folded his arms across his chest again.

 

”What ’bout you? Why are you napping out here? It ain’t a good place to sleep. Nasty things lurk out here in the night.” As he said it, he paused for a moment to listen and glance around – just to make sure that they were still alone. It was so dark, however, that even if something was lurking out there he probably wouldn’t have been able to see it. Furthermore, some of the creatures moved very silently. ”We better get going to the village.”

[-Hideki-]

He had straightened his back and had just wanted to make a step forward to the man figuring that if he found that his activities as a spy were none of Asher’s business he had to make him sing. Sure Ash certainly didn’t belong to their secret service that belonged to the inner division who could make everyone sing and broke the strongest, most fierce and proud minds and was well known for their cruel methods but they had learned interrogation tactics back in the governments educational facility and during the process of becoming a soldier too, though it wasn’t the spaceforce’s speciality or job per se.

 

Taking any more drastic measures got obsolete though as the guy apparently got in what position he was and that the soldier wasn’t fooling around. The information was spouting out of the man like a fountain and he told him everything about what apparently circled around a woman he was copulating with and that it was going against the rules as the father had forbidden them that action and that the man didn’t understand that their intercourse was ‘true love’. It wasn’t an excuse as the guys vital date clearly showed that he was not lying and it was so primitive, trivial and uninteresting that the platinum head in the combat suit was almost, almost disappointed about learning the real reason.

 

“It all comes down to sexual intercourse on this planet doesn’t it? That’s omnipresent here.” He said with a bitter tone of voice that got cleared by the mechanical distortion. “No worries though. I don’t care about who you’re copulating with and it is way too uninteresting to get involved in this or talk about it. No one can save this place anymore anyway. Your case is even worse as you are apparently having sex with a woman and not with another man. Uncontrolled reproduction is like plague here.” he commented and sighed. “And what on Earth is there not to get about you two having intercourse? I doubt the father has a problem understanding this, especially considering he has a child. What is ‘true love’ supposed to be and if your sex with that woman is ‘true love’ what is ‘untrue love’ then?” he wanted to know finding that really weird.

 

When he was asked what he was doing outside on the field sleeping there he crossed his arms and a frown was appearing on his face that was covered by the helmet. “This is my battleship or at least the remains of it! My battleship is on this field! I am Xenonian and my battleship is Xenonian. I wanted to be around something Xenonian again for a change, as a Xenonian belongs to other Xenonians and everything Xenonian. And because the only thing Xenonian aside from me is out on that field, I am out on that field too. Simple.” He said looking at the other laying his head to the side.

 

He looked at the man as if he was out of his mind when he mentioned to get back to the village but thanks to the combat suit that was not to see either. “No. You will go, I will not.” He stated. “Under no circumstance am I going into that room again tonight. And even if I wanted to I doubt that I would be welcome. But I don’t want to anyway.” The Colonel said. “Calum and I don’t get along anymore.” The man said thankful for the mechanical distortion since if it had not cleared it from the emotion inside the voice the other would have heard that this bothered him, that he didn’t want them to not get along, that he would have rather gotten along and be around the other like before however something told him that he couldn’t after that morning and then that night in the bathhouse and the way he felt around him. That he desired him so much that it hurt to get rejected though he should be happy that the other blocked him so that he could not degrade himself to primitiveness. Something inside him, those nagging instincts that he had gotten aware of, wanted him to be primitive with the other regardless of everything he knew and had learned.

[Gladis]

”...” Jack wasn’t quite sure how to respond to Asher’s comments, opening his mouth as though he had intended to say something, only to close it again. Even so, the look he gave the other was all telling. ’Who dropped you when you were a baby?’ Then he paused, slight color rising to his cheeks. ”Hey, don’t go jumping to conclusions. I said I went to see her, not that we're shagging! Although we totally are, but that ain’t the point!” he trailed off, plucking a straw out of his hair as a slight frown settled on his features.

 

”Saying that everything comes down to sex is a bit of an exaggeration, don't ’cha think? Although I guess it’s a vital part of our lives… that’s just how mother nature willed it though, right? Ain’t nothing wrong with indulging oneself every once in a while. What’s this ’uncontrolled reproduction’ s’posed to mean anyway?” He gazed at the other in utter confusion, wondering how the hell Calum even managed to have a proper conversation with him. Which he was sure they did. The past two months Asher had been the only thing he ever talked about. It was Asher this and Asher that… okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration as well, but it was prevalent enough to be noticable. It wasn’t as though Jack didn’t understand, though. Calum had put up with Jack’s pining for girls and the bragging over successful endeavours that often followed for years. Having each others backs at times like these is what friends are for.

 

Asher’s question about what true love was only caused Jack’s frown to deepen. ”Ain’t that a good question man…” he said, thoughtfully rubbing the back of his head. Then his expression split into a grin. ”It’s a feeling!” He proclaimed, proudly slapping his chest. ”Don’t think there’s a better way to describe it. You just have to feel it – get what I mean?”

 

He had just been about to turn on his heels and start heading back towards the village, when Asher’s protest caused the smile to fade from his features. ”You have a fight or something?” He asked, a clear note of concern in voice. The he sighed, giving a light shrug of his shoulders. ”You may not think it but I’m sure Calum would be a lot more upset if he found out you were spending the night out here. So how about you crash at our place tonight? We have a bed to spare, and if you feel the need to vent, we can do that over some mead. Or if you’d rather head straight to bed you can do that too – it’s up to you. How’s that sound?”

[-Hideki-]

Asher couldn’t really believe his eyes when he saw the man who quite obviously had an IQ like crisp bread – not that the Xenonian knew what crisp bread was – looking at him as if he was the idiot of the two of them. Ash wasn’t stupid though, he was pretty smart actually, well, maybe not as smart as their scientist or not in the same way but he was intelligent. He had to be intelligent; he was a soldier of the spaceforce, a Colonel, after all.

 

The next thing he knew was the simple-minded fellow blushing in front of him protesting the soldier’s statement of him having intercourse with that woman only to confirm that Asher’s judgement had been perfectly on point. “What is the point then? There isn’t any am I right? Realising coherences, patterns and combining them with signs you see to make your judgement and get aware of the situation is something that one does and should do, it’s clever and an important tool for survival. And as you confirmed I have been precise with my evaluation.” The man stated. “I think what your protest comes down to again is that while you’re all distracted and derailed by and completely focussed on the subject of sex and indulging in your primitive instincts and desires, you’re still getting embarrassed and tied up when you hear someone speaking about it directly and pointing right at your activity. You’re all doing it, claiming it to be natural and normal but you’re all embarrassed about it in the end. That’s illogical.” Asher said looking at the other who was plucking the dried grass out of his hair.

 

“No. I don’t think it is much of an exaggeration as far as this planet goes.” The Xenonian disagreed. He raised an eyebrow behind his mask and looked at the other when he said that ‘mother nature’ had ‘willed’ them to make following their sexual urges one of the vital parts of their existence. It sounded incredibly dumb to him but he knew that this was something everyone else in the village could have told him too. “Nature is not a mother. It doesn’t have a gender either. And on top of it nature has no ‘will’, it is not a conscious being that makes decisions or had any plan for any living creature, in fact it is not a being at all.” He let the other know. “Aside from that nature is disgustingly flawed, it’s in many aspects destructive. Just because something is perceived to be natural doesn’t mean it is good. Something artificial can be much superior to nature actually.” The soldier found.

 

He blinked as he looked at the man asking what ‘uncontrolled reproduction’ was. To Asher that term was self-explaining but he remembered that the other wasn’t exactly the brightest candle on the cake and sighed. “Uncontrolled reproduction is reproducing, breeding children without control, without checking and comparing genetic compatibility, psychological profiles, ruling out diseases and making sure that the newborn will be well fit and have the talents and preferred characteristics for the purpose it is bred for.” He explained. “Uncontrolled reproduction leads to the decay and the downfall of humanity and it is a serious crime on Xenon that is punished hard and mercilessly and also leads to the immediate elimination of the unwanted and uncontrolled offspring to guarantee and protect the purity of the society and ensure control and stability of the national corpus.” He explained. “Only having sexual intercourse without sexually reproducing on the other hand is technically illegal as well but is more so treated like a violation of moral principles and doesn’t have such severe consequences and hard punishments. You have to pay a fine but you will be considered a health and hygiene threat too and have to be put into quarantine and it has to be made sure that you are no risk. And if you are lucky and have not been infected with something you have to go to the retraining facility of the government to get onto the right way again, if however you are infected you’ll stay in quarantine.” The soldier told Jack who should now know what uncontrolled reproduction was.

 

The soldier patiently waited after the pretty boy had exclaimed that his question was good and then seemed to be in thought. This led the foreigner to expect an actually thought through answer that was understandable and when he heard the man proudly declare that it was a feeling slapping his chest apparently thinking he had come up with an incredibly deep realisation and brilliant answer Asher’s jaw dropped and his eyes looked wide at the other baffled. ‘Just how stupid is he? Calum definitely explained things better.’ the man thought to himself and he was certain that if he had been taken in by this guys living group he’d still have the same knowledge and understanding of the village and the whole place than when he had first crashed onto it. “No, I don’t get what you mean at all.” He let the other know. “I am very aware that what is called love is a feeling and that this feeling and heavily biochemical, however, saying that it’s a feeling doesn’t define nor explain what kind of feeling it is and how to identify it. It also doesn’t answer the question what ‘true love’ is and how it compares to ‘untrue love’.” Ash said getting the feeling that it was hopeless already.

 

Suddenly the man turned around to him again asking him if he and Calum had fought, concern in his voice. When Asher heard the word ‘fight’ he thought about battles and one on one combat, solely physical confrontations but nothing else, so he got why the other was concerned as the soldier was considerable stronger than the young man, however he didn’t get why the man would think that they would battle each other anyway. “No. We didn’t fight. I didn’t harm a hair on him no worries.” He let the other know in hopes to rid him off of the concern. Actually the thought of fighting Calum and hurting him, knocking him out, caused huge aversion in him for some reason. He would never want to harm him, he wanted to protect him actually. “You know, I said things, he said things, we got angry and said other things and then I left. I have never had such a destructive emotionally driven conversation before in my life. It was unpleasant.” He described what had actually happened.

 

Asher listened to the other talk and making him a suggestion. “I don’t care about what Calum thinks and what would upset him more or less.” The soldier stated but after he had said it there was something in him questioning if that was actually true or not, or if he did care to a degree. “But I wouldn’t be opposed to drinking or eating something. I don’t know what mead is but I guess it’s something to drink or eat.” The soldier said and moved towards the other. “So I’ll accept your offer.” He told the man and followed him back to the village.

[Gladis]

Jack frowned, not entirely sure where Asher was coming from. ”I dunno…” he said thoughtfully. ”It doesn’t feel like something being okay and natural but still getting embarrassed over it are mutually exclusive. Calum used to get embarrassed when he had to sing in front of a crowd – honestly I think he still does, he’s just gotten used to it by now. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with singing, right? Sex is a very personal thing, so you don’t usually go around talking about it with just anyone. I mean, most don’t. There’s always exceptions…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. ”So when we’re confronted by it in situations where you ain’t expecting it… of course you’d be embarrassed. Although honestly it varies from person to person. Some don’t find it embarrassing at all.”

 

The way Asher just dismissed the existence of mother nature warranted another raised eyebrow from Jack. Jeez, was this dude from another planet or something? Oh wait…

 

”Of course there’s a mother nature.” He insisted, his voice and demeanor filled with conviction. ”Haven’t Calum and his ’nan told you about them? The many faces of the mother…” Jack trailed off, folding his arms across his chest. You’d have thought that the villages priestess and her grandson would have educated the stranger, but apparently that was not the case. ”Well, it ain’t so important at the moment.” He added, stifling a yawn. Honestly he was too tired to be having drawn out conversations about theology, and it wasn’t like he understood most of what Asher was saying anyway. It was frustrating enough that Asher didn’t get his explanation about true love, but he decided to give it another shot regardless.

 

”Hmmm… well… maybe true love is when your feelings for another person go beyond desire? When you like a person so much you just want to be with them no matter what happens. So much that it hurts to be apart…” Trying to define it like that – actually putting it into words was kind of beginning to make Jack question whether his feelings for Mathilda really were that strong. He liked her alright, but he wasn’t sure he liked her that much. ”Maybe untrue love is more like… an infatuation of sorts. You feel desire for someone but don’t necessarily want to spend the rest of your life with them… or something. I don’t know, it’s kinda complicated.” He laughed softly, shaking his head a little. What an odd conversation to be having in the midst of a field at this time of night. Well, at least Asher had agreed to come along to Jack’s house, so that was something.

 

As he led the way towards the village, he listened to Asher trying to explain what had happened, Jack’s eyebrows slowly knitting into another frown. ”Dude, that’s what having a fight means. It’s just another word for arguing. You’re right in that it’s unpleasant though…” he trailed off, letting out a soft sigh. He was glad to hear that at least no one had gotten hurt. ”Especially when you care about the person you’re arguing with.” They passed several cottages on their way there, including the one of Calum’s grandmother. Jack led Asher straight past it however, opening the door to his house for Asher. ”Go ahead and take a seat, but please keep your voice down. I’m fairly certain my mothers are asleep.”

[-Hideki-]

Ash was listening closely but it still didn’t make sense and seemed illogical to him. “Getting embarrassed over singing doesn’t make much sense either.” He said. “Maybe if the person knows they can’t sing and hence should rather not sing a solo is when they may or may not get embarrassed but only if they think that they actually shouldn’t sing.” The man said trying to get anything of what he had heard into some kind of order on his mind. “What do you mean it’s a personal thing?”he asked not really getting what was supposed to be so personal about it. To Asher it was the reproductive instinct in humans, something that had been viewed in a biological and clinical way by the Xenonians. He couldn’t see anything personal in it and their way to talk about it had not been personal it had been distanced. The soldier had looked at it as a phenomenon but he had no personal connection to the subject. The lack of any ties to sex made it a subject like every other one that he could talk about openly just like about mathematics even though he deemed it primitive and thought that he shouldn’t engage in it. However he had been extremely embarrassed about that he had been wanking in the morning and getting caught doing so. The question was would he have been embarrassed about it too if he had Calum’s and Jack’s view and that was what he doubted as he didn’t get embarrassed about doing things he saw nothing wrong with.

 

A snort came from him and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “No there is no such thing as a ‘mother’ nature. And the way that you stand there repeating idiotic lunatic concepts that go against scientific proven facts as if that ridiculous fairy tale was actually true demonstrates a really toxic aspect of religious ideologies and how they prevent progress and free thinking. The more you talk and the more you insist that this insanity is an objective fact, the more clear it gets how severely infected your mind is by the cancer that is religion.” The solider spoke but compared to when he had first argued that with Calum when he had arrived he lacked the aggression and the burning hatred in his voice, he was making his stand in a normal way at this moment.

When the other wondered whether Calum and his grandmother had not told him about their lunacy the Colonel laughed. “Unfortunately they have told me those idiotic fairy tale stories, those lies, that man made fantasy that was only created to control, to manipulate and to force barbaric morale codes onto people. If you would abandon that idiotic religiousness your society would progress much faster and become a lot less primitive soon. If you want to know whether a place has a high standard or not, look at its people and how fanatically they are following such disgusting ideologies. The more religious the place, the higher the chance of it being a primitive shithole. The less religious the people, the higher the standard of intelligence and life.” Ash made very clear what he thought about all of this.

 

This time the lad actually tried to explain to him what he had meant with true love and Asher thought that he was getting it.

“I see.” He commented. “True love is what I experience for Xenon then I suppose.” He concluded from the feeling of homesickness that he had gotten since it hurt him to be apart from his planet, he missed it, a lot, especially this night. The platinum head was satisfied with the explanation and he actually had the feeling of having understood it perfectly, what he had not gotten that often in the last two months.

 

He looked as if the other had a screw loose. “No, it’s not. I have been in a lot of fights and I don’t remember any argument in any of them. Fighting is a battle, or physical combat.” Asher explained as the other had definitely had it wrong here.

The man fell oddly silent when Jack mentioned that having an argument was especially unpleasant if one cared about the person one argued with. The Colonel would have liked to say he didn’t care but it would have been a lie as he did. Not only that, this was the reason for the conflict to begin with. He would have never had gotten into such a confusing and destructive emotional state, leading him to lose his calm and acting irrational like this if he had not cared about Calum, if he didn’t have those feelings and that desire on top of it.

 

The silence stayed all the way to the village, he looked at Calum’s house as they were passing it by and he even turned around another time when he waited for Jack to open the door to his house.

After he had entered he took off the helmet and placed it onto the table, revealing his scarred, tired face as he let himself sink onto a chair laying his legs up onto another one, waiting for the man who told him to be quiet to take a seat too.

At the pretty boy mentioning that his mothers were asleep his brain protested again, because it was not scientifically possible to have two mothers but though he would have liked to understand this and why those two women even were a living group as the Earthlings living groups in this village usually looked different, he didn’t ask or make any remark. He had already not gotten it when the short brunette had tried to explain it to him and he doubted that this ‘genius’ could do that any better than Calum.

[Gladis]

Jack closed the door before following Asher inside. Setting down the lantern on the table, he went to fetch two glasses and a bottle of mead, as well as some bread in case Asher should find himself hungry. As he did, he pondered Asher’s argument that if it wasn’t bad, getting embarrassed over it was illogical. To some extent Jack had to agree. But he also hadn’t really felt embarrassed over the fact that he’d slept with Mathilda (or he wouldn't have admitted it so readily), as how easy he apparently was to figure out. Calum had often told him that he was like an open book, and if even aliens from outer space could read him with ease… well, that kind of said it all, didn’t it?

 

”Perhaps Calum was a bad example,” Jack agreed, although only begrudgingly, ”Not because he by any means is a bad singer, but rather because he alway seems to think less of himself than he actually is. That would explain why he feels embarrassed about it.”

 

As for Asher’s complete denial of their gods… well, it was perhaps more confusing than anything else. Many of the words he used were too complicated for Jack to even grasp, and the others arguments made even less sense to this simple minded village boy. He felt like Asher in some way or form was insulting their way of life, but since most of what he said seemed like gibberish either way, it wasn’t exactly easy to tell.

 

”Well…” he said after a while, pouring a glass first for Asher and then for himself, ”we may not be be the most advanced and our lives are far from easy, but I think it’s fine that way. We’re happy. Ain’t that what’s most important?” His argument was very much in line with what Calum had told Asher the first night they met.

 

Slowly he nodded his head. Asher’s definition of love wasn’t exactly the same, but Jack supposed one could love a place as well. He loved the Myre, and the people that lived there. He loved their traditions, the community and even the hard and grueling work. Their society was what some perhaps would have considered primitive, and there had been many difficult times. Yet by working together and helping each other out where help was needed, they had managed to overcome even those. They had shared in each other’s happiness and sadness, and Jack wouldn’t have traded that for the greatest advancements in the world.

 

He couldn’t help but smile at Asher’s incredulous gaze. ”It’s a metaphor. I don’t completely get it myself, but basically you conjure an image of something to explain something else… you can have a physical fight and you can have a fight with words. I think…” he frowned, suddenly not sounding so sure of himself. Shaking his head he decided to move on to something more important.

 

”Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes these kinds of things are easier to deal with if you can get them off your chest. Although…” he chuckled softly, running a hand through his messy blonde hair only to find another piece of straw. Pulling it out, he thoughtlessly discarded it on the floor. ”I can’t promise I’ll have much in terms of good advice.”

[-Hideki-]

His eyes fell onto the bread and the mead immediately and he poured them both some mead, though he had no clue what it was, and drank his in one gulp as he was thirsty. It was a weird taste and it somehow felt warm in his mouth and throat. He had never drunken anything similar to that. They had only drunken water or water with supplements on Xenon. And he kind of liked the taste and the warm feeling of this drink, so he poured another one when Jack was getting back to their conversation and said something about Calum.

Asher raised an eyebrow surprised and questioning at the same time. “Why would he think less about himself than he is? Why would anyone?” he asked. There was no need for the brunette man to not think highly of himself, he was a really decent young man....and handsome. As he thought that last thing he would have liked to hit his head onto the table to finally get clear again. Instead, he drank from the mead. Ash also realised that he had never heard the brunette sing and after pretty boy had said he wasn’t a bad singer he kind of wanted to hear it.

 

The soldier just had a déjà vu when the blond Earthling spoke telling him that they weren’t the most advanced but that they were happy and that was what mattered the most. It was something he had heard into different contexts by now and he had to admit that he still after two month didn’t understand this and had no concept of what happiness was, how to grasp it, if he could even feel this. Was it measurable? Probably! Everything was measurable in some way. Maybe J.O.S.H. could but it was unlikely. “No.” He disagreed with the initial statement then. “The greater good, desirable progress, evolving, getting forward as well as stability and control are the most important things that ensure the survival of the human species.” Asher stated sounding like this was some mantra, seeing that Jack poured both of them another glass of mead.

 

He scratched his scarred chin when the Earthling told him what a metaphor was. “Sounds illogical.” He found. “ And useless. Why use something to explain something else if you could have juts said what you actually mean?” he asked not understanding why metaphors were needed. “What is the purpose of metaphors? What do you need them for?” he wanted to know from the other male.

 

The look on Asher’s face when the blond suggested talking about what had happened between him and Calum was completely baffled and confused. What was this good for? Why should one talk about it? Was there a need for this? Did the people on Earth all talk about this? Would it actually be helpful? He wasn’t sure. He had never been in such a situation nor had he talked a lot about private things on Xenon. Well, not that he would have had much to talk about other than his work anyway. Carefully weighing in his head if he should talk about it and how to start talking about it, if he decided to, he resumed what had happened in the bathhouse on his mind and he got aware that he just couldn’t talk about it. This was nothing he could just tell that man, that he had those feelings and desires for the pretty boy’s friend. That he had asked him to touch him, wanted to touch the other, wanted to have... His face flushed completely red, like a frigging traffic light, when he thought about the moment he had reached for the sponge on the ground and had gotten that view of Calum’s butthole, arse, his balls and his cock and then the younger one’s hands touching him what had led him to wanting to be touched more and different and elsewhere too. That it had hurt him when the other had rejected his inappropriate advances and he had gotten angry. He was ashamed, not only merely embarrassed and he emptied the next glass that caused that slight warm feeling in his throat. “Talking about it....” he repeated the offer, looking at the plate of the table shaking his head lightly, pouring himself yet another drink.

[Gladis]

Jack tilted his head slightly to the side, arching an eyebrow when Asher just downed the contents of his glass in one go. Perhaps he should have given him water instead… Asher had said he didn’t know what mead was. Could it be that this guy had never had anything with alcohol before? Or was he just so down after the entire argument with Calum that he felt the need to drown his frustration in liquor? Jack couldn’t tell for sure, but if he kept up that pace he would be very drunk very soon.

 

”Well…” he said, taking a sip from his own glass. ”I don’t know for sure, but Calum is a person who thinks a lot, and feels in equal measure. Unlike me, he doesn’t just charge into situations purely based on what feels right at the moment. No, he ain’t like that.” Jack shook his head. ”He thinks and he thinks again. Sometimes he overthinks and as a result, starts second guessing himself. He cares a lot about how other people feel about him and how his actions may affect them. Especially if they matter to him. But when you’re always looking to please other people…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. ”I guess that comes at the price of your self-esteem. It’s like he’s afraid that he won’t ever be good enough for anyone. I honestly couldn’t tell you why he feels that way, though. Maybe it’s to do with his parents, or his past relationship. I don’t know.”

 

Jack hadn’t actually expected Asher to refute his statement about happiness, becoming noticeably baffled at the others explanation. He couldn’t quite see where the other was coming from. ”Man… you don’t make a lot of sense, do you?” As though it would somehow help him understand, Jack poured the rest of his drink down his throat. ”The greater good – wassat supposed to mean?” He genuinely wanted to know. What greater good could there be, other than happiness?

 

Not that Jack was given much time to ponder it, his lips pulling into a small grin in response to Asher’s comment. ”Metaphors give language flavour. They can help express feelings that otherwise wouldn’t be possible. Like… for example...hmmm..” he paused a moment to think, taking the opportunity to fill his glass anew. ”The word ’despair’. What feeling does ’He drowned in a sea of despair’ versus the plain ’he felt despair’ evoke? There’s no sea – he ain’t actually drowning. Yet the the feeling of despair is so overpowering that it feels like he might be. Make sense? Oh! ’A broken heart’ is another good one. Saying you have a broken heart don’t mean your heart’s actually broke. But when we’re really, really sad, we tend to feel a pressure in her chests. At times it even translates to physical pain.” He placed his hand on his chest to demonstrate. ”Kind of like the heart’s broken, even if it obviously ain’t. An argument can both be aggressive and calm, because an argument can also be a discussion. But a fight is only ever aggressive… so even though the words can be used interchangeably, they have slightly different meanings.”

 

”Okay dude, that’s enough now,” Jack said, a genuine note of concern in his voice as he reached over to take the bottle from Asher. Not that it made much of any difference. The bottle was pretty much empty by then, and not because of Jack. He was still only on his second glass. ”You gotta drink this stuff with care, or you’ll just make yourself sick. Don’t just down it all at once. It ain’t water, you know.”

[-Hideki-]

“Charging into situations without a strategy and plan isn’t smart, so it is actually pretty normal to calculate before one takes action.” Asher found not really seeing why this would be the reason for the younger male’s self-doubt and unrealistic self-image. But it soon got through to the soldier that it wasn’t about thinking strategise and weighing the actions to logically calculate and reach ones goal but that it was about something that the solider couldn’t really see the sense behind. The Colonel had never taken anything but the mission into account; he didn’t care what other people thought or how they felt about the actions that he took for the greater-good and for Xenon. What he had on mind was the well-being of the Xenonian people and society and he didn’t really care to take anyone else’s views into consideration and feelings generally had no value, they were poison and should never be focussed on. It seemed that Calum’s relativism and questioning himself, taking anyone’s fee-fees into account wasn’t healthy anyway. Somehow this confirmed his thinking. At the mentioning of the brunette’s parents he raised his eyebrows and looked Jack into his blue eyes. “His parents? Relationships?” he asked. “I have never seen his parents.” He realised just now and normally the human’s living groups in that village seemed to have that. “And what past relationships are you talking about? Like working relationships?” he wanted to know, getting curious.

 

Ash raised his head and looked from above at the other when the man dared to say that his memorised mantra of what was important didn’t make sense. Of course it made sense! Everything of the Xenonian way made perfect sense. Criticising this was critique on the emperor and critique on the emperor was unacceptable. “I am making perfect sense. You are the one who doesn’t make sense and is completely wrong on top of that.” he made clear fiercely.

The platinum haired man in his early thirties looked at the other in the same way he had when the man had asked about what uncontrolled reproduction was when he was asked the greater good. “The greater good is the superior wellbeing and goal that focuses onto the larger picture, society and the collective of the people as a whole and puts that over the egotistical desires of the individual. Sometimes an individual has to sacrifice something in favour of the greater-good and the group, the collective of people.” He explained hoping his explanation was sufficient enough as he had never had to explain the greater good to someone. It was something universally understood on Xenon. The greater good was their philosophy. ‘For the greater-good’ was actually written on some of their government and agency buildings, the most popular and largest sign being on display on the headquarters of the inner division what was quite cynic and ironic in itself but Asher and most other Xenonians were completely oblivious of that.

 

The Colonel genuinely tried to understand the meaning and purpose of metaphors but the more he learned about them the more illogical he started to think they were. “Aside from the immediate thought that it doesn’t make sense saying that someone is drowning in despair as it is impossible it doesn’t cause me to feel much actually.” He answered scratching his chin, feeling the scars on it. “The same with the heart example, a heart can’t break, it’s not a bone it’s a muscle. Those are confusing, factually wrong and illogical. Someone who talked like that just sounds dump in my book.” The Xenonian found not really getting warm with the idea of metaphors at all thinking that the Earthlings should improve their way of communication and getting a clear way to express themselves.

 

All of a sudden, Asher just had wanted to pour the next glass, the bottle was taken away from him and he looked completely taken off guard and confused. “What the fuck?” he exclaimed without a thought getting the feeling that his tongue started to get weirdly loose, his face getting gradually lighter and back to its normal colour again after he had felt that deep shame thinking back to the bathhouse. When the explanation followed his blue eyes widened in shock. How could he have been so careless to not let J.O.S.H. check it for poison? How foolish of him! He was getting up from his seat really abruptly and slammed his hands onto the table, and he regretted having moved immediately as it felt like something had hit his head and he was feeling dizzy and tipsy. His sense of equilibrium was affected and disturbed. He had been poisoned! “You rat! Why did you give me something that makes me sick! You have poisoned me! Are you a spy after all!” the soldier yelled holding his head. “Where is the antidote.” He said taking the blond by the collar before he realised something significant. That bloke had downed that stuff too! If his intention had been to poison him he would obviously not have drunken the bloody poison too and then tell him to stop drinking it to not get sick. This was odd and confusing but he let go of the pretty boy as he had reacted in shock and apparently his control over his impulses had decreased and he sank down on his seat again, his body feeling warm and a little heavy. “Sorry.” He mumbled reluctantly looking at the plate of the table but it didn’t explain why they had been even drinking something that could potentially make them sick. This planet was insane, it was dangerous and it was prove that people were self-destructive if left on their own without a strong leader and government that told them what to do and what was good and bad for them.

While he was sitting there he felt how it got more difficult for him to form coherent thoughts and how his mind was just jumping around from one place to the other, it was scary. That stuff was making him feel weird and not only that, it made him even hornier than he already had been before, making that urge to fuck sky rocket.

[Gladis]

Jack smiled sadly. ”Nah, you wouldn’t have. They’re dead. Or well, his mum is anyway. No one’s too sure about what happened to to his dad. Probably dead too, though. I wasn’t around at the time, but I hear he left for the waste one day and never came back. No one saw him die and his body hasn’t been found but,” he shrugged his shoulders, ”that ain’t usual. I just figured losing your parents at such a young age would leave a mark on you…” by then his smile had faded completely, and there was besomething akin towards sadness in his eyes. Jack didn’t just figure that was the case, he knew. He’d been through something similar himself.

 

Gulping down more of his drink, he waved his hand slightly in response to Asher’s inquiry, the corners of his lips once again pulling into a slight smile. ”No, a lover. Not my place to tell you the details, but it’s safe to say that things ended pretty badly. He took it hard. It’s been years now but… I guess if the people you love keep disappearing from your life, you start getting kind of paranoid about it. Get what I mean? I think that’s why he concerns himself so much with other people. He’s afraid that somewhere along the road he’ll fuck up and end up getting left behind. Because you know, it’s happened. Obviously the death of his parents wasn’t his fault but…” Jack trailed off, shrugging his shoulders once more. ”It’s easy to blame yourself for stuff like that. To think ’what if’ or ’if only I had’.” He downed the rest of his mead, setting down his glass on the table before yawning and stretching.

 

”Well, that’s a depressing topic. Let’s talk about something ha-” he was interrupted by Asher’s loud exclamation of discontent over having the bottle taken away. Jerking slightly as the other slammed his hands down on the table, a look of genuine fright settling on his features. No less so when he was grabbed by his collar and yelled at.

 

”I-I-I-”

 

Suddenly the room was filled with the bright light of an electronic torch. ”What in the name of the mother is going on here?!” Standing by the staircase was a middle aged woman, dressed in only a long nightgown, her mouse gray hair put up in a bun. She glanced between the two with great suspicion and mild irritation.

 

Jack let out a long breath of relief when Asher finally let go of him, sinking back into his seat. Even so his heart continued to pound hard in his chest.

 

”Jack!” The woman snapped, turning off the torch as she went over towards the table.

 

”Yes?!” He sat upright.

 

”What are you doing up at this ungodly hour? And Asher, you’re here?” She stopped in front of them, her eyes landing on the bottle in Jack’s hand. They narrowed and set on her son who suddenly seemed to grow very small small in his seat, looking anywhere except for directly at his mother. ”Well son, you clearly have some explaining to do,” she huffed before turning to look at Asher. It was clear enough that he wasn’t doing all too hot. Almost instantly her expression softened. ”What in the world has my boy roped you into…” she grumbled under her breath, shaking her head, ”wait here, dear, I’ll get you some water. It’ll make you feel a little better…”

 

True to her promise, she went away and returned with a cup of water, which she pushed into Asher’s hands.

 

”Now, just what is going on here?” She asked, putting her hands on her hips as she glanced between the two with a frown.

[-Hideki-]

A serious and stern expression was to see on his face when the blond man spoke and told him that Calum’s parents were dead. It immediately drew the chapter from the emperor’s book back onto his mind, where Eugen Rochfort talked about how he had to see his living group getting eliminated, his father getting killed, his mother and sister getting raped and then murdered too while the youngest one, whom they had thought they had killed too had managed to survive the attack of the religious lunatics that had been let into their places in masses. Their emperor had described that moment from his life as a key moment. That moment that had made him realise that it was his purpose to create a place where something like this couldn’t happen, where the people weren’t made to bleed and suffer, paying the price for the wrong decision of tiny group of people. Asher could imagine that this was something that had shaped Calum as well in one way or the other. Something that hunted him like the pictures in ‘The Hordes of Evil’ hunted the emperor who had experiences all that atrocities and had had to see his people, his nation die.

“It certainly does. Our grant and wise emperor said that loss of his living group by the hands of those disgusting religious pigs was what had always been present on his mind and had affected how he saw the world as a whole. That this was the point where he had realised that he would never let something like this happen again, that he would not fuck up humanities last chance, that he would do better.” The Colonel told Jack with a nod, his face still stern and hard, looking straight ahead as if he watched into the future, looking concentrated.

 

The expression on his face changed and it grimaced and got darker as he grumbled:”Lover?” Asher had learned that the Earthlings considered someone their lover if they exclusively copulated with that one person only. Or at least that was how he had understood it. And for some reason he hated the idea that someone else had ever had sex with the brunette or that someone could have sex with him in the future. It bugged him. The mere idea bugged him and it went complete past the actual subject of their conversation which was losses. “Did he have many ‘lovers’? The soldier added chewing on his own slightly scarred bottom lip.

Only when the other described the younger man blaming himself for losing other people did his brain let go of the fact that he would have liked to punch every other man who would make inappropriate advances on Calum like the Xenonian had done himself in the bathhouse. “Well, the emperor didn’t blame himself. He analysed who was to blame and he blamed those nutcases who had let all those underdeveloped religious monster’s crawl out of their shitholes invading the emperor’s homeland. However he also spoke of regretting that he had not been strong enough to safe his living group, though he knows himself that he was too young, too small and too weak to have ever stood a chance and that it had not been his fault that he had been a mere child.” The soldier said again, understanding what the pretty boy told him by comparing the situation with Eugen’s story.

 

While he had lashed out on Jack for thinking that he had been poisoned only to realise that the whole story made no sense and apologised a woman who was the mother of the pretty boy had appeared in the room. She had not looked amused, not at all. Actually she had seemed angry but when she had looked at the foreign soldier closer her expression had changed and she had approached him in a much softer and nicer manner, maybe she wasn’t angry with him in particular after all. He really couldn’t imagine why she would anyway. Everyone would be shocked to hear that he had been given something that could make him sick and obviously did poison him because he was feeling funny and his cheeks were feeling hot without him blushing or anything.

 

The woman had returned with a glass of water pressing it into the completely scarred hand of Asher who was downing the water like he had downed the first glass of mead, realising that the mead however had not made him less thirsty but that he now was even thirstier than before. What kind of drink even was that, that mead? He looked up into the ladies eyes with his blue gaze, his eyes the eyes of someone who was drunk, and when she asked what was going on there he automatically gave a report as if it was the army, straightening his back, because the woman’s face and looks reminded him of one of the instructors from the governments educational facility. “Had an argument with Calum. Left the bathhouse. Observed the village. Found weird large creatures with hooves that ran away from me. Returned to my Xenonian battleship because it is Xenonian like I am. Fell asleep leaned on battleship. This fellow woke me up. I thought he was a spy because he had been coming from outside the village. I interrogated him. He sang at just the mere question. Turned out to not be a spy but uninteresting trivial matter. He objected me sleeping by the battleship. He offered me a place to sleep as well as a drink. I was thirsty, agreed to the offer. I came here. I got poisoned with unknown substance he calls mead. When he told me that its harmful I was shocked and got angry. Misjudged situation.” He recited the report mechanically without a single break, so he was a little out of breath afterwards.

[Gladis]

A slight frown creased Jack’s forehead as he listened to Asher’s explanation. He wasn’t entirely sure he understood all of it, and yet it still managed to strike a chord with him. Perhaps because it sounded all too familiar to Jack, and different yet. ”I see…” he said softly, and there was a heavy tone to his voice. ”In that case, I think I can kind of relate to your Emperor. See I… was not born in this village. There used to be a town further to the east – you’ll likely pass by what remains of it on your way to the witch. A little more than a decade ago it was wiped out completely. Not by people, though. Or… at least not in the sense you described.” He leaned back in his seat, absentmindedly plucking apart a pice of bread as he seemed to drift off into his own mind. It only lasted for a brief moment, though, the surly look on Asher’s face enough to draw an amused chuckle from the youth. There was a knowing twinkle in his eyes, his lips pulling into a small grin.

 

”No – I don’t think so. As far as I’m aware there’s only been one, and that crashed and burned almost five years ago. ’T’was probably for the better too.” he paused briefly before adding, ”Don’t tell Calum I said that, but I swear to the gods, the guy was so full of shit he’d make the privy look clean.” His words were filled with bile and distaste, making his feelings on the matter blatantly clear. ”Calum was so close to running off with him, too. I’m glad fate spared him that much, at least. It would never have ended well. Not with the way that shitbag was treating him. Although knowing him it probably wouldn’t have happened anyway. He never kept his promises and-” realizing that he’d gone into a ramble, about a subject he had no right to talk about no less, Jack cut himself off. ”Ah, crap.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his head. It was clear that he felt very passionate about the subject, and the alchohol had gotten the better of him. Calum wasn’t going to be happy with him just spilling the beans like that. Not that it was a secret or anything. Pretty much the entire village knew the story. In small communities like the Myre, word travels fast, after all. Keeping a secret for any longer period of time was near impossible.

 

”You know, if you’re planning to date him you better treat him good.” Jack said solemnly, deciding that a change of topic was the best course of action. ”Or Sasha might end up beating the crap out of you.” He paused, looking Asher up and down before reconsidering that stament. ”Well, he’d probably regret trying… Sasha’s strong but I don’t think he’d stand much of a chance against you.” Especially not considering what happened on the very first day they met – another thing that had become common knowledge around the village. He smiled, resting his chin on his propped up hand. ”Well, you seem like a descent guy. A little odd for sure, but nice enough. I’m sure Sasha’ll come around eventually.”

 

Jack’s mother blinked in surprise at the way Asher chose to explain himself. Even so, it did help her make sense of the situation. She shot Jack a pointed glance when Asher said he’d snuck out for ’some trival matter’, and it was clear that she didn’t need the details to figure out what he’d been up to.

 

”See,” Jack said smoothly, attempting to brush it off with a grin, ”I helped a man in need and made a friend. No harm done, nay?”

 

”Hmph…” She shook her head and turned towards Asher. ”Well, sounds like you’ve had quite the night. The good news is that you’re not poisoned – only drunk. It’ll wear off eventually and then you’ll be right as rain, so don’t worry about it too much. I’ll head up and prepare your bed. If you want more to water Jack’ll fetch it for you.” With that said she turned and headed back up the stairs.

 

As soon as she was out of earshot, Jack leaned over the table and whispered to Asher: ”Thank you for not telling on me.”

[-Hideki-]

Jack had his undivided attention when he said that he could relate to the emperor and the Xenonian was incredibly curious as to how the blond man could relate to this story. What followed actually did have quite some parallels though there were differences. One of the rather drastic ones being that the pretty boy said that his village had gotten destroyed by something that wasn’t human. The description of those creatures that Calum had given him in the morning came back to his mind and his eyes narrowed. “Has it been the doing of those creatures that cannot feel pain?” he asked waiting for an answer as the man seemed to have fallen deep into his own thoughts.

 

Somehow Asher had made the other chuckle though he didn’t understand what the man was laughing about. The platinum head definitely was not amused about the lover thing. He didn’t find the idea of Calum having or having had intercourse with other men funny; in fact he was strongly opposed to this idea and the laughter of the other only made him look much grumpier than before, staring at the table with a gaze that could have burned holes into it. The Colonel only turned his head back to Jack sceptically when the man informed him that to his knowledge it had been only one. One wasn’t good but definitely better than more, Ash thought listening incredibly closely.

 

Oddly enough his mood went up considerably upon hearing that Jack apparently hated the guy and said that it was best that the brunette wasn’t with him anymore and had not gone with him to wherever. However the more he heard the more torn he got between being glad that this guy had been a piece of rubbish and he was much better what caused a satisfying, confident feeling of superiority and anger about that dipshit mistreating Calum as the brunette didn’t deserve to be mistreated. Asher would never mistreat him and if he ever saw that guy – he wasn’t quite sure whether he had just left Calum hanging or had died – he would give him hell for whatever bad he had done to the younger man. The knowledge that he was irresponsible and didn’t keep his promises alone made the Xenonian think lowly of that man whom he didn’t know.

 

The sudden statement of pretty boy saying that if Ash planed to date Calum he should better treat him well caught Asher off guard completely and a slight blush was appearing on his pale cheeks. “Who said that I wanted to have intercourse with him?” he objected a little too immediately and too strongly asking himself how in the name of the emperor this bloke had figured out the soldier’s inappropriate feelings and desires towards the brunette male as he had only confessed those towards Calum what was already bad enough. “And if – hypothetically speaking - I would want that, I would never treat him poorly, I’d be the best man for him.” He stated gesticulating by slamming his hand onto his chest proudly before he quickly added. “Doesn’t mean that any such inappropriate thoughts were on my mind ..... or anything....I said hypothetically speaking.” But even when he said it the Xenonian man got the feeling that this was not really convincing.

 

What followed was a comment that made the Colonel burst out into uncontrollable laughter. He had never laughed so intensely before in his life. It most certainly was the alcohol that made this even funnier but the mere thought that Sasha, Calum’s coward brother whom Asher had knocked out with one finger though the man had been on an advantage because he had held a gun and had been uninjured while the soldier had been completely burned, could beat the crap out of him. This was the worst threat he had ever heard, as intimidating as an ant or a mouse. The drunken foreigner had his torso lying on the table by now, still laughing, water running out of one of his blue eyes because he had laughed so hard. “That was a good one.” He said but the simple-minded pretty boy seemed to have figured that out as well when he added that the brunette’s brother didn’t stand a chance against him.

Asher scratched his chin, not lifting his heavy feeling torso up from the table though he had stopped laughing. “I don’t care if he comes around or not. Someone like him is not a person about whose acknowledgement I’d ever care.” Sasha might hate Asher’s guts but the Xenonian didn’t think any better about the man either.

 

“Drunk?” he asked when the lady told him that he was not poisoned but only drunk. He had no idea what ‘drunk’ meant. “Are you sure?” he slurred. “I have symptoms of intoxication.” The Xenonian diagnosed without even caring to activate J.O.S.H.

 

He just nodded when Jack’s mother told him that he would prepare the bed for him. He got the feeling that he should definitely hit the bed soon. Thinking about laying that weirdly feeling body of his down he raised his eyebrows in surprise when spoken to. The surprised vanishing for a questioning look when the pretty boy thanked him for not telling on him. For a moment he didn’t know what the other was talking about then he remembered that the blond had not wanted anyone to know about the fact that he was having sexual intercourse with that woman whose name Asher had forgotten because he didn’t care. “I told you I didn’t care about that little story of yours. It’s irrelevant and trivial.” He assured the other that he had no interest in talking about the man’s sexual acts. Why would that interest him or be interesting to anyone else enough to want to hear about it? It wasn’t like it was a crime on their planet so nothing would happen anyway, hence no need to talk about it for anyone. In that moment the Xenonian asked himself if anyone on Earth ever talked about and was interested in stuff like that and with whom other people copulated with.

 

The soldier made himself rise from the chair taking the glass weaving lightly as he walked to where Jack’s mother had poured him the water from, he didn’t need the pretty boy for it, he could obviously do that himself. When he was about to pour himself a glass though he was struggling to aim right and wasting quite some water until he managed to fill the glass only to down it immediately again.

[Gladis]

[please ignore]

[Gladis]

Jack frowned, tilting his head slightly to the side. ”Creatures that can’t feel pain?” He asked in mild confusion, only to put two and two together a moment later. ”Oh, corpse eaters, you mean? Mmmmn… There’s a lot worse things out there than corpse eaters, y’know. I don’t think they were involved. Honestly though, no one really knows the details of how it happened – just that it did.” He paused for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts.

 

”I remember that it was early spring, and we’d just suffered through a really bad winter. The harvest had not yielded nearly enough to get everyone through the worst period, and the people were starving.” Jack could still vividly remember how he’d sat huddled up with his sister in a corner, nibbling on a piece of moldy cheese – Slowly, as to make it last through the day. ”My father was really angry with me. I think I’d stolen some food, or something. Couldn’t help it – I was just so hungry. So he locked me out, telling me I couldn’t come back until I’d found something edible. And if I died trying it’d just mean one mouth less to feed!” Jack smiled wryly, scratching his head before giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. ”Well, I suppose in the end I was lucky that he did. And that my sister had her mind set on coming along, no matter how many times I insisted she go back. So, together we abandoned the safety of the town’s walls and headed into the forest, setting up traps in the hopes catching a rabbit or two. Normally that would have been the end of kids like us but… the woods were strangely quiet – strangely devoid of life. When we eventually did come across a couple of corpse eaters they didn’t attack – they scuttled straight past us. As if they were afraid, trying to escape some horrible threat. Yet it wasn’t until in the evening, when we started making our way back to the town, empty handed and dejected that we truly realized how terribly wrong it all was. The water in the streams had turned a really odd shade of red and there was a strange, pundgent smell in the air. It was like a sign, a warning that things weren’t right…” he trailed off, his brows knitting into a deep frown.

 

”By then it was getting really dark and we were exhausted, se we set up camp for the night, deciding that we would continue at first light. I was supposed to keep watch but at some point I must have fallen asleep – or fainted. I don’t know, as the night wore on my head started feeling lighter. When I woke up the sun was already on its way up, and I realized that we weren’t far from the town. My sister was still asleep and she was… wheezing. As though she was having trouble breathing, and I get it. The smell had gotten really bad and the air felt so thick. Even so I managed to wake her up and we pushed on, towards home.”

 

”Yet… it wasn’t before long that we came across some dead animals on the riverbank. The town had come into sight in the distance, and it was shrouded in a strange mist. More dead animals. Then people… I think that’s when I realized we couldn’t go on. If we had, we would’ve ended up like them. So we turned around and started running in the opposite direction. My sister couldn’t keep up – she was so weak by then. I remember picking her up, carrying her on my back. And I ran. I don’t remember for how long, or far. At some point I lost my footing and fell. Couldn’t get back up and I guess I must’ve passed out, because when I woke up up again I was here…” he swallowed, gazing into his empty glass. A lump had formed in his throat, and his voice was thick with emotion.

 

Needless to say, Jack more than welcomed the change of subject, and before long he was back to his usual self. He arched an eyebrow at Asher’s protest, an incredibly amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The way he so proudly declared that he’d be the best man for Calum was pretty sweet. ”Well, it makes me happy me to hear that if you - hypothetically speaking - did end up dating him, you’d treat him well. Pretty sure there’s a bit more to dating than just sex though…” he paused, thoughtfully scratching his head as he tried to think of what that might be. Yet try as he might, he couldn’t really think of any good examples. His solution was to change the subject and hope that Asher was too inerbated to notice. ”It’s nice though…” he mused, resting his chin in the palm of his propped up hand. ”You get hand holding, hugging and snuggling privileges, which is great…” he paused as Asher burst into laughter. Well, it was good to see that finding out about Calum’s past lovers at least hadn’t gotten him too terribly down.

 

”No,” Jack said once Asher had calmed down, ”But I’m sure it would make Calum happy if the two of you at least could stand to be in the same room without glaring daggers at each other…

 

”I know that Sasha can be… difficult, but please remember that he carries the same scars as his brother. They have just manifested differently. He means well.”

 

Jack paused, arching an eyebrow when Asher noted that he was showing signs of intoxication. He smiled vaguely. ”That’s because you are intoxicated, in a sense. But it’s not harmful. I mean, it can be, if you drink too much too often. You haven’t had nearly enough to be in any danger of that, though…” he trailed off, watching Asher get up to fetch water. Even if he wasn’t drunk to the point where it was life threatening, he wasn’t exactly steady on his feet. His eyebrows knitted into a small frown.

 

”Do you… think you’ll be able to make it up the stairs?” Jack asked, doubt evident in his voice.

[-Hideki-]

Although the alcohol in his system made it harder for him to focus he was concentrated while he listened to Jack’s story. The more he heard the sterner his face went as the explanation that jumped right into his face was chemical weaponry or more simply put poison. He knew the power of chemical weapons; he had used it against his enemies countless times. The most legendary battle fought with chemical weapons by Xenon he had not played a part in though as he had still been too young and in training. The poison used had been experimental and new, it had been created by a well known biochemist and toxicologist and the man’s weapon of mass destruction had wiped away a complete city on a small insignificant planet where the Krigian army had had a strong basis. Krigan had been another imperial power, another enemy of Xenon and an enemy to Zyan. The three planets had been at war against each other for hundreds of years however at that day Krigan surrendered to Xenon when they had seen what that poison had done to the people that died due to it. This had thrown one player out and Xenon had attempted to colonise the home planet of Krigan but Zyan wouldn’t let them do it, going for the place as well and since then that planet had been split into a half dragging their former competitor into an odd kind of conflict that was going on there because neither Xenon nor Zyan had an interest to recklessly destroy another highly developed an useful planet like Krigan.

 

However it was definitely not that poison or neither Jack nor his sister would have been alive. It only needed a small dose and it was impossible to survive. A small dose just needed a little more time to kill a person. This probably had been another substance. However the question really was how the Earthlings got their hands on it. They obviously couldn’t build such a weapon with their knowledge. Then again, someone might have found some remains from ancient times. Maybe the person had even accidently made the poison infect the air without knowing what they had unleashed and how to stop it before they were already dead themselves. That was possible.

 

When Jack had ended he looked into the man’s face being able to see the suffering and for one mere second Asher asked himself whether the primitives on whose planets they fought their wars were all put into that state through their hands when they threw chemical weapons onto their territory to destroy resources of the enemy or army bases of the enemy.

He showed the weird thought aside though because it wasn’t helpful right now and made him feel off. “It sounds like a chemical weapon.” He spoke his face still in a frown. “Poisonous gas!” he specified. “That would mean that the catastrophe had been caused by human hands though.” Ash informed the other.

 

The Colonel didn’t really like the wide amused smile on the other’s face in regards to his denial of his sexual attraction and feelings for Calum as it showed that the man was not taking him seriously and wasn’t buying it what made the soldier grumble. However his expression cleared up and became curious instead hearing the other speak. He looked at the man when he said that there was more to dating than having sex. What might that be? Wasn’t that the purpose or difference between dating people and people who were not dating? That they had sex and felt that strong attraction to one another? Or at least Asher had understood it that way. The comment about hand holding and snuggling didn’t help him much to understand and rid him off of the confusion. “When there is more to it than sex, what might that be?” he wanted to know and then added. “And why would you randomly hold another person’s hand or snuggle them, it doesn’t cause people sexual pleasure as far as I know so why do they do it then?”

 

Listening to what the pretty boy had to say in regards to Calum’s brother made his face turn stern again and he looked really displeased at the idea of having to try to hide how he felt about the man. The soldier usually didn’t hide his thoughts and how he felt towards someone or something. If he found something was shit, he said that it was shit, the same with people. The moment he spoke he sounded stoic and unyielding, looking straight ahead stubbornly. “Meaning well is completely meaningless when one acts completely wrong and comes to all the wrong conclusions.” He stated.

 

His eyes narrowed when the other confirmed that he was indeed intoxicated and what followed then made him shake his head.

“What is wrong with you people here?” he asked. “You drink shit that is toxic. You voluntarily put something into your body that isn’t good for it but harmful. This really shows that humans, if left to do what they want, are reckless and irresponsible and prone to self-destructive behaviour.” He said before downing the water. Then he turned around. “I will go upstairs and lay myself to sleep now.” he told the other. “Have a good night.” He wished and then attempted to go up the stairs.

 

Hearing the other suggest that he might not be able to make it upstairs with his question the Xenonian gazed over his shoulder sharply. “Of course I will!” he vigorously stated walking up the stairs, slower than usually, supporting himself on the railing. When he had made it up without swinging to the side too much or falling over his blue eyes met the lady that looked like one of his instructors from the government’s educational facility and he nodded into her direction when he said:“Thank you and I apologise for the inconvenience.” Before he disappeared inside the room that had been prepared for him.

 

Asher got rid of his combat suit, struggling a little, before he threw himself onto the bed in the fresh clothes he had changed into after bathing. While his body indeed did sank into the mattress he felt that he got a lot more dizzy when he was laying and it didn’t help much to close his eyes. It was like the room was spinning around an the Xenonian man who had never drunken alcohol in his entire life and whose body wasn’t used to anything that was not a 100% approved by medical scientists to be good and perfectly healthy for it, that never had to deal with something toxic before was feeling sick and gross as he was drunk even though what he had drunken was a little less than a bottle of mead only.

 

The dizziness kept him from falling asleep and laying there the horniness that had increased through the alcohol was driving him crazy. He wanted sex. Had the persistent urge to fuck and his thoughts were circling around inappropriate and dirty stuff and somewhere along the line he did fall asleep but at one point his subconscious was producing incredibly graphic images and his dream was feeling incredibly real. Well, what happened in it wasn’t happening in reality but it did have real effects on Ash’s body as the dream aroused him though the scenario was rather unrealistic as it played in his bedroom on Xenon but involved the people from Earth.

 

Asher was naked on his bed, his body as free from scars as before, instead he had some platinum coloured chest hair and a happy-trail, all what had been ruined by the burns was back. But he wasn’t alone on the large bed. There was Calum’s slender figure behind him running his hands over his chest and kissing his neck while in front of him there was the hot muscular bloke he had done the farm work with. They were kissing aggressively, tongues wrestling in their mouths, their raging boners crossing like swords and when the kiss broke he was turning his head back, reaching out his hand, to kiss Calum. A mess of touching, stimulating and feeling each other’s bodies followed until it got to the point where he had the brunette sucking on his balls before orally stimulating his cock. The fantasy was going into a direction that the man would have never consciously thought about, but he had the younger male sucking his cock, thrusting into his mouth and pressing the other’s head closer to his body while his own tongue was sliding over the throbbing length of the farm worker, shoving his tongue under his foreskin before taking the length in sucking that man off while getting sucked off. The fantasy went on going to other scenarios that were not less graphic and enthralling while the real Asher who was lying on the bed in Jack’s family’s guest room was rock hard, dripping pre-cum, from time to time moaning in his sleep or saying Calum’s name. But the real mess was when he didn’t only ejaculate in his dream but for real as well, staining his pants, getting woken up by the orgasm.

 

His head felt like a truck had run over it and when he blinked his eyes he just wanted to close them again at the light that was falling inside through the window. Apparently he had slept longer than he had thought. Peering down on himself he saw that his trousers were stained with sperm, his complete body sweaty. “Oh come on...” he cursed throwing his head back onto the pillow running his hands over his face again. What a bloody mess! Again! This time even worse than before because he had directly cum into his pants and why such a damn lot? He sighed deeply and for a moment his mind was going back to his dream that he unfortunately remembered incredibly well, as if that had really happened just a moment ago and his face went tomato red and was heating up completely. That was even more abnormal to fantasies about having sex with two people at the same time. And not only that in his dream Calum had licked and sucked his.... He definitely found the idea arousing and hot but he also found it wrong as every of their biologists or doctors would say that his dick didn’t belong into someone else’s mouth, neither into their arse. He could never make the brunette man do something like this, putting his thing into his mouth and letting it penetrate his throat. Of course not! The other would probably be just as outraged about this as if he knew what Asher had wanted to do to his arse in the bathhouse so he shall never know any of this. But how the hell was he supposed to face the man again, or the farm worker, looking into their eyes as if his subconscious had not made them do that in his dream and as if he had not cum from it while sleeping.

[Gladis]

Jack paused, his forehead creasing into a frown that mirrored Asher’s. ”Chemical weapons?” He asked, and it was clear that the word was foreign to him. Even Asher’s explanation did not seem to make much sense to him, although his eyes did light up in slight recognition. ”It was some kind of gas alright, but as far as human involvement goes I wouldn’t be too sure.” He thoughtfully scratched his chin. ”There wasn’t exactly anything to be gained from it. Not as far as I know, anyway, and I doubt anyone would’ve done it for fun…” he trailed off before shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders. ”Well, it doesn’t really matter now anymore. What’s happened happened and that’s that.” It was clear that he didn’t feel all too comfortable talking or thinking about it in greater detail, so he let the subject go. Talking about relationships was way more fun anyway.

 

”I don’t know, Asher. Why do people like to eat food that tastes good or stop to look at a beautiful landscape? Because it makes them happy. Why? Who knows, but for most people that’s the case. Sex is great and all, but sometimes just being close to someone you know and trust is what you really need. It’s nice. You should try it sometime…” he trailed off, the corners of his lips pulling into a small smile. ”I suppose that’s what relationships are about, kinda’. Developing mutual care and trust. Sticking together through thick and thin, supporting each other, building a future together. Obviously it doesn’t start out like that, though. Usually it takes months, even years to get there. Even so… it’s about companionship – a commitment of sorts.” Jack paused for a moment before adding a little grumpily. ”Which is exactly why Calum’s ex got it all wrong!”

 

He only smiled a little at Asher’s stern response to his suggestion, deciding to let the matter go. It was troublesome that they couldn’t get along, but it also wasn’t Jack’s problem. Surely it would all work out… eventually.

 

”Alright, Asher,” he said as he watched the other make it up the stairs, ”goodnight!”

 

As he said it he rose from his seat himself, gathering their glasses and the empty bottle before bringing them over to the kitchen counter. Having gotten that out of the way, he went where he should already have been a long time ago – to bed.

 

***

 

Calum did not get a lot of sleep that night, either. The fact that he’d slept to noon was definitely part of the problem, but more than that, it was a feeling of anxiety and concern that kept him turning and tossing until he eventually gave it up altogether. With Hermis at his heels he decided to take a long walk around the perimeter, the cool fresh air helping him clear his mind. Perhaps there was a small part of him that had hoped that he would find Asher, because even several hours after their argument there had been no sign of their Ashen haired guest. When this did not come to fruition, that mild feeling of concern only grew. Yet to go out alone and search for him at this hour would have been beyond foolish, and besides, he knew that Asher probably was fine. The man had clearly demonstrated that he could take care of himself. And yet, just because he knew it in his head, didn’t mean he knew it in his heart.

 

If Asher wasn’t back by morning, Calum would go look for him. Luckily, he never had to, because come first light their dear neighbour paid them a visit, informing them of their missing Xenonian’s wearabouts. It came as a relief, to say the least, and it was with a considerably lighter heart that Calum headed over to his brother’s house in order to make a request. That ticked off the list, he started making his way towards the house of his neighbours, where he was greeted by a very tired looking Jack and his rather chipper mothers. By then the entire village was up and about – most preparing breakfast, but some hardworking souls had already started heading towards the fields. There was still a lot of work to be done.

 

”My son, I tell you…” Verona huffed, placing her hands on her hips as she shook her head, ”takes home a guest in the middle of the night and first thing he does is get him drunk!”

 

Calum blinked, his lips quirking into a slight smile. ”Yup, sounds just like something Jack’d do, doesn’t it?”

 

”Hey!” Jack exclaimed from where he was seated at the breakfast table, pointing his fork at Calum. ”You make it sound like I get strangers drunk a lot.”

 

A chuckle slipped past Calum’s lips and he winked. ”No, you’re right. Usually it’s us you’re getting drunk…” then he paused, a slight frown creasing his forehead. ”Well, is he alright though?” There was a mild note of concern in his voice.

 

Verona nodded her head. ”He should be fine. Might still not feel a hundred percent though, which is why we let him sleep.”

 

Calum nodded his head, rising from his seat. ”I’ll go check up on him.”

 

”Do that, and if he feels up to it tell him there’s breakfast waiting for him down here.” It was Lydia, the younger of the two that spoke this time. She too was middle aged, but her hair had remained as black as a crow’s feathers, and was neatly tied into a long, black braid that fell down across her back.

 

”Alright!” He said, before heading up the staircase. In front of the guest room he stopped, leaning forwards slightly to knock on the door. ”Asher, are you awake? Can I come in?” He paused briefly before adding, ”I think we need to talk…”

[-Hideki-]

Though he felt like wanting to pull the blanket over his head and hide his hypersensitive eyes and heavy feeling head from the sunlight and to not face any of that anymore he made himself get out of the bed and the first mission was to get clean clothing without having to say a word to anyone or to make them find out how his clothes were stained. Sure he could say they were sweaty and they indeed were so it was not a lie but whoever saw them would obviously be able to tell that he had ejaculated into his pants while sleeping. What was fucked up enough as it was! He had not even deemed that to be possible to have an orgasm while asleep.

 

His blue eyes wandered around in the room and the only hope was an old wooden cupboard in it. If that was empty or there was only something other than clothing in it he would be screwed and would have to wrap the blanket around himself or go into his combat suit naked, what would definitely be incredibly uncomfortable. So when he dragged himself to the cupboard he was feeling tense and at the first gaze he wanted to sink onto his knees and scream ‘No!’ theatrically but then he found something at the very back of it. He pulled the piece of fabric out of there and it looked ancient and worn out but it was a pair of trousers and it looked like he could fit into it. Some former guest must have forgotten it in there. As soon as he had thrown the pair of trousers onto the bed he closed the door of the cupboard and then dropped his own pants and also got rid off his shirt because it was completely sweaty before he put on the clean pair of trousers.

 

Asher hadn’t yet closed the button of his new garment when he heard it knocking on the door and the knocking was sending painful sparks through his head. He had expected the voice of Jack or the women he lived with but when the man in front of the door spoke he froze just there and his face got red again considering the reason why he was just changing his clothes.

The man shook his head vigorously and tried to force his mind to concentrate on what the brunette male said. It wasn’t much. He just wanted to know if he could come in and he told the soldier that he thought that they needed to talk.

Closing the button of the brown trousers that didn’t look exactly good he looked at the door questioning. Calum thought they needed to talk. No one had ever said that they needed to talk with him except for comrades or superiors regarding their work and strategies or when he had underperformed or had not done something to a government institutions satisfaction what had only happened once in the governments educational facility.

 

However the younger male didn’t work with him and he was also not an authority and he also couldn’t read minds nor dreams hence the brunette probably wanted to talk to him about their argument and what had happened in the bathhouse the other day. Ash would have liked not to. To never talk about it again ever! To not even think about again! All of that clearly should not have happened in the first place. But if Calum actually got out of his way to knock on his door and to come over the man apparently cared a lot to have this conversation and to discuss this with him and the Xenonian wouldn’t deny him an answer if he had questions or wanted to talk about it though he found the whole subject matter even more uncomfortable now.

 

Somehow he thought back to what Jack had told him the night before. About why people formed relationships and why they held hands and stuff aside from sex. There had been a level of understanding this for the Xenonian. All of what Jack had said, mutual care, supporting each other, building a progressive and stable future, he all knew this just not on a basis where it involved individuals but in the form of the Xenonian people as a collective. Companionship and commitment were high values on Xenon something that they were encouraged to provide but it always concerned the planet, the government and their way of life. Companionship and belonging within the national corpus of the Xenonian people and commitment to their government and their ideals. So even though the government discouraged strong bonds between individuals those words and that description had been associated with something positive on Asher’s mind and had to a small degree made him understand human relationships better and had shone a better light onto them for him.

 

Quickly he kicked the stained clothes deep under the bed he had slept on before he turned around and opened the door in the not so great looking trousers and without a shirt on. “Come in then.” He just said when he stood in front of the younger man and looked into those green eyes. Looking into his eyes and at the man before him only made that dream apparent on his mind again and he first turned his gaze and then himself away taking a seat on the bed, sitting down, waiting for the other to talk to him since he had been the one who had said that it was necessary that they talked. The Colonel looked a little wasted and hungover. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was messy and he had obviously been sweating. “What is it!” he said making a poker face looking at the other feeling like he needed to be ashamed about his fantasies and desires on the inside asking himself when that feeling would leave again.

[Gladis]

Although Calum had been told to enter, he found himself hesitating, his hand resting on the doorknob. Was what he had in mind really the right solution? He wasn’t so sure – and unless he talked to Asher, there was no way for him to find out. Besides, now that he’d made his presence known he couldn’t very well chicken out and leave. Not that this would have solved anything in the first place. So, taking a deep breath he twisted the handle and pushed the door open.

 

What he found was a worn out looking Asher, in a equally worn out looking pair of trousers that he definitely didn’t recognize. He was shirtless too, which considering that Asher probably had been sleeping up until just recently he hardly could be blamed for. Even so, Calum found that fate had a way of making things unnecessarily complicated. It was at times like these that Calum felt the gods must be laughing at the troubles of their feeble creations. Still, it was hardly something worthy of getting hung up over, as there were considerably more pressing matters at hand.

 

”Look at you,” he said with a shake of his head, the corners of his lips quirked into a small smile, ”You’d think Jack would have minded teaching you how to drink responsibly, but I suppose that’s too much to ask of our airheaded Casanova. How are you feeling?” Rather than getting straight to the point, Calum decided to make an attempt at breaking the ice. There was no need to uphold the hostile attitudes of their night prior, and besides, his concern was genuine. Even so, it didn’t mean he could entirely avoid the subject of great discomfort. So, emitting a small sigh he pulled out the chair from under the desk by the window, taking a seat opposite Asher as he settled his emerald gaze on the soldier.

 

”First and foremost, I wish to apologize for last night. It wasn’t right, what I did. To lead you on and then…” his smile faded and his gaze dropped to the floor. ”Obviously that wasn’t my intent, but I should have minded my actions more. I’m sorry…” he trailed off, raising his head to meet Asher’s gaze. The pools of icy blue colder than the frozen rivers in the midst of winter, yet possessed the capacity of burning hotter than the smoldering fire of a blazing star. Eyes unlike anything Calum had ever seen, and more beautiful yet. Upon their first meeting he had been mesmerized by them, and now too he only belatedly realized he’d been distracted. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat.

 

”There is something else too. I spoke to the village chief, and if you’d like it can be arranged that we leave earlier. Normally that would have been ill advised, but since we happen to be ahead of schedule with the harvest, my request was approved. We’d still need another day or two for preparations, but otherwise we’re set to go. I’m leaving the decision of what to do in your hands, so if you’d rather wait the two weeks and help out with the harvest, that’s okay too.” Calum’s request to the village chief may have seemed entirely unrelated to yesterday’s argument, but it certainly wasn’t. It was only due to their argument that Calum had come to realize the magnitude of Asher’s homesickness. Calum had already established that keeping him here just because seeing him leave would make him sad was beyond selfish, yet the longer Asher stayed the harder it would become to stand by that. The harder it would become not to act on his heart's desires. So he wanted to do everything in his power to help return the soldier to where he belonged. Of course, minimizing the emotional impact Asher’s departure would have on Calum wasn’t his only motivation. Above all, he wanted Asher to be happy. He didn’t want to see him suffer like he had the night prior.

 

There was nothing that seeing the witch would help at all. Yet on the off chance that she had some kind of knowledge, anything at all that could help in achieving their ultimate goal, a shot in the dark was better than not trying at all.

[-Hideki-]

After Calum had entered and he began to speak Asher was raising an eyebrow sceptically when the man’s lips turned into a smile pointing out the soldiers looks. “There is nothing responsible about putting any amount of poison into one’s body voluntarily to begin with.” He murmured sounding somewhat grumpy and crinkled. When asked how he felt the first thing coming into mind was his infect and how he had thrown up because of the disease back then. “Like something that someone has thrown up!” it came from the Xenonian man immediately and he didn’t seem cheerful or happy at all. Well, he clearly wasn’t anyway.

 

Hearing the sigh and noticing the change in attitudes the blue gaze of the platinum haired male followed the slender figure of the brunette who was taking a chair and was placing himself onto it. Asher couldn’t help but to sense a distance between them that had not been there before and it left him freezing inside though he was still sweating. The man was just sitting there on the bed looking at the other waiting for him to say what he got to say. What followed made him snort cynically though. “Just forget it. I obviously shouldn’t even have made such an advance regardless of your confusing signals.” The man spoke his voice indifferent though he had tensed up inside and he really wasn’t feeling indifferent though he was not too sure what he was feeling either.

 

The other thing the man told him came as a surprise though. He had not expected the opportunity to leave earlier than planned. “If the decision is up to me I will say we leave as soon as possible.” He stated his face now showing determination and his voice professional. “The earlier we start to find allies and we figure out a way to defeat the bloody savages the better. Not to mention that I might get the chance to eliminate a Zyan spy or at least to check the situation and whether that subject is a threat to Xenon.” Ash stated clearly, making his decision immediately without having to think long about this. To the Colonel himself his homesickness and getting home was completely out of the picture and had nothing to do with the decision as he himself didn’t see himself leaving anytime soon anyway as the chance of him getting back home was so incredibly low that it was almost none existing at that time.

 

“Was that all?” he asked then his face getting somewhat darker again as he felt some disappointment rise in himself.

But what was it that disappointed him? He didn’t want to talk about the last night and had actually been glad that he didn’t have to say much about that and it also was not leaving the village and to not have to do that dull farm work for a whole two weeks either so what was it then? What was it that made him feel disappointed, that was hurting him so that he would have loved to punch a hole into the wall out of frustration that he didn’t have a clue how to deal with?

 

Ash stood up from the bed and walked over to his combat suit attempting to put it on though he didn’t have a shirt what would not be the most comfortable but bearable other than without trousers. And when the physical distance between him and Calum was increasing now too he realised that it was the distance between them, the distance the other man was keeping from him on purpose, that he obviously really didn’t want to be close to him and even less so than before was what disappointed and hurt him. The foreign soldier wanted to be close to the man, he wanted the other to embrace his approach, to want to be close to him too. But he didn’t. He had retreated even more and it felt as sterile, intimidating, belittling and lonely as the public and government buildings on Xenon. And then there was that story Jack had told him about that former lover of the younger male. A man who was irresponsible, unreliable and had treated him poorly and that guy Calum had embraced; he had wanted close, he had given himself to and had had sex with while Asher had gotten rejected by the other though he was a much better man.

 

The Colonel dressed up in his combat suit his face stern. This planet was odd. In those few month he had spend on it he had felt more feelings and especially more different feelings than in his entire thirty-three years of being alive. And for the first time he was feeling hurt and rejected and he hated that feeling.