Chance Encounter [Gladis & Ayakashiu]

[Gladis]

 

It had started as nothing more than a dumb joke, really. Andrew, losing a bet against his friend, had been made to sign up for a gay speed dating event. At first, he didn’t even intend to go. What would he be doing at a gay speed dating event? Although he was fairly certain he wasn’t straight, he had no experience of ever dating men. The thought made him nervous. And yet, there he was a few days later, standing outside a restaurant with a dozen other men and no idea of what to do.

 

”Excuse me sir, but what did you say your name was?”

 

”A-Andrew, sir, Andrew Johansson.”

 

”Mhm…” The smartly dressed man by the entrance to the restaurant nodded his head, quickly flipping through the list of names Andrew could only assume belonged to the people who’d made their reservations in advance. ”Ah yes, there you are. Here’s your name tag,” He pushed a golden plastic pin with the nickname ’Drew’ neatly printed on its surface into Andrew’s hands. ”Is this your first time attending this sort of event?” He asked, perhaps noticing the nervous look on Andrew’s face.

 

”Yes sir.”

 

”Well, remember that it’s all in good fun. Just relax and enjoy yourself. The rest will work itself out.”

 

”Thank you, sir!”

 

”You’re welcome, dear. Good luck.” The smartly dressed man smiled, motioning with his hand as a way of telling Andrew to move on. Breathing in deeply, he took the deciding step across the threshold, glancing around to take in his surroundings. The restaurant wasn’t very big, but the interior was nice enough. The tables covered in white cloth had been placed in rows along the walls to make the rotation between them more effective. There were candles and flowers to set the mood, and overall the entire establishment gave off a far fancier vibe than what Andrew had expected. He felt, to put it simply, miserably out of place. It didn’t help that almost every every other person in the locale seemed to be at least ten years his senior. And male.

 

Fumbling with pinning the nametag to his shirt, Andrew glanced up along with the rest as one of the organizers stepped onto the stage, tapping on the microphone before clearing his throat. He was a tall man with flaming red hair and equally flaming red beard.

 

”May I ask that everyone in group A take a seat,” he gestured to the set tables, ”We would like to begin.”

 

Upon signing up, Andrew had been sorted into group B, meaning that he was in the group that would be rotating between tables. So whilst everyone in group A was busy taking a seat, he remained awkwardly standing with the rest. Once they appeared to be finished, the red haired man continued.

 

”The rules are simple. You’ll get ten minutes to talk to each participant from the other group. When we ring the bell, the members of group B moves on to the next table whereas those in of group A remain seated. Is everyone on board? Great! Group B, find an empty seat and we’ll get this show on the roll.”

 

Andrew didn’t feel on board at all, but not wanting to be left the odd one out, he quickly grabbed the nearest empty seat. Then he paused, because he recognized the person on on the other side of the table. For the first time that evening, his expression split into a wide grin.

 

”Hi teach! Long time no see!”

[Ayakashiu]

 

 

 

Riley loved teaching. He knew from early on that teaching chemistry is what he wants to do, but some events a few years back made him question himself. It was a bad year of his life, but he pulled himself together and now he was teaching at a high-school again, plus he privately tutored college students. He could easily work as a college professor, since he always excelled at his studies, but he decided he prefers being just a teacher.

 

Wanting to make students enjoy his classes, he incorporated a lot of experiments and he went to great lengths to make sure everyone understood the subject. But today proved he didn’t do well enough. He prepared a quick unannounced test for his senior class, just to get a feeling where they are at, so he can prepare them for college entrance exams. He thought if they get good grades, they will be more motivated and confident, but the results were pretty bad. He always took it to heart, if the students didn’t do well, because a good teacher should be capable of understanding his students and relay them the knowledge in a way, they will understand. He obviously failed.

 

Feeling disappointed and drained, Riley decided he needs to relax. He was a regular at The Eagle, ever since he met the owner and he knew it will be the best place to unwind. The bar held a lot of events and tonight was the speed dating night. When the owner first tried to get him to participate, Riley felt reluctant, but since then he attended a few of them already and they were quite entertaining. Not that the teacher hoped to find his true love here, but you did get to talk to a lot of people and some were actually good drinking partners. And that was exactly his plan, get a little drunk, maybe flirt a little and forget about work for a while.

 

Riley arrived just as they announced the beginning and he quickly took a seat at one of the tables. The doorman knew his preference by now, so he added him to group A without a question, before ushering him to enter.

 

Taking a quick look around, Riley nodded to a few participants that were regulars like him, finally letting himself relax a bit. But it didn’t last long. Today really was a crappy day and Riley regretted leaving his home at all, when a pair of greyish blue eyes met with his. His heart stopped for a beat when the past came rushing back, the past he was so sure of leaving behind.

 

He froze as the other male grinned, obviously recognizing him. It was five years and Andrew Johansson grew up really nice. Riley wanted to kick himself for that thought, so he pushed it aside, slipping into his old role again. Maintaining a blank expression and raising an eyebrow, he replied, “Hello Andrew. Long time indeed.” He paused a little, hoping it will make the other uncomfortable and wishing the ten minutes they had, would pass quickly. Making a disappointed face, Riley even sighed for dramatic effect, before continuing, “Please tell me you aren’t here, because you’re broke and looking for a sugar daddy.”

 

The teacher was pretty sure that the owner would kick him out, if he could hear him right now, but he didn’t care. He needed to push his former student away and get really drunk, before he does something he'll regret later.

[Gladis]

Andrew blinked, pausing for a moment before quickly shaking his head. ”No, not at all! I’ve got a job now, I don’t need a sugar daddy.” Either he hadn’t seen the disappointed look on Riley’s face, or he just couldn’t be bothered to care, because he just kept on talking as though nothing had happened. As though he didn’t remember how he had been so harshly turned down all those years ago, as though he didn’t feel any resentment for how Riley had treated him thereafter at all. Well, perhaps he didn’t. Perhaps the smile on his face was genuine, and the excitement in his voice truly reflected his feelings on meeting his former teacher again. Who could really tell, other than Andrew himself?

 

”I’m surprised, teach. You are like, the last person I’d expect to see in a place like this, though. Do you come here often?” He gazed at Riley with earnest curiosity. Although five years had passed the man didn’t really seem to have changed much at all. He still had the same dark hair, the same mole on his chin and the same gentle pools of blue he had fallen in love with all those years ago. Even his glasses looked more or less the same.

 

Andrew on the other hand, had gone through a whole lot of change. Once fairly short and scrawny, he had grown a lot taller, and by the looks of it, worked out because he had gained a considerably better build. His hair was shorter though, and what had once been a wild mane of golden locks, was now confined to a small but neat looking looking ponytail on the back of his head.

 

”So, what are you doing these days? Still teaching?”

[Ayakashiu]

Riley didn’t expect the other to be so nice with him, even after everything he did and how he behaved. But he always knew Andrew was a good kid. It only served to make him feel even worse about himself. He was supposed to be the adult here.

 

He signalled to the waiter for something strong, to gain some time. “Yes, I’m still teaching. And I do come here often, I don’t see why that would be a surprise.” Trying to keep his voice reserved and avoiding eye contact, the teacher was relieved when his drink arrived. He thanked the waiter and turned to his former student, “Would you like anything to drink?” It was only polite to ask.

 

Taking a sip, Riley focused on his drink, twirling it around the glass. The best course of action would be to not ask any questions and let the conversation die down. That way he could still think of himself a decent teacher and not one, who misleads his students. But his curiosity got the better of him.

 

“I must say I am surprised to see you here though. So..why are you here Andrew?” He tried to keep curiosity out of his voice, but failed. Could it be that his former student dated other men now? Riley didn't want to admit to himself that the thought of it stung a little.

[Gladis]

When the waiter came around, Andrew ordered a beer for himself – something he was sure to regret later. Not because he didn’t need it, but rather because how terribly overpriced everything was there. Despite his claims of not having any for a sugar daddy, his job wasn’t exactly well payed.

 

”Well,” Andrew said, tilting his head a little to the side, ”back then you told me-” and then he cut himself off mid sentence. His smile faded, if only for a brief moment, and he shook his head as though he had suddenly changed his mind. As though he was thinking to himself that it was better not to dredge up the past. He was genuinely happy to see Riley again and he didn’t want to spoil the moment. They were only getting ten minutes, after all. ”No, nevermind.” He said softly. ”As for why I’m here...well…” he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

 

”It’s a pretty long story, but basically I lost a bet and a friend signed me up. I’ve actually never been to anything like this before, so I’m actually kinda’ glad I ended up at your table first. I was pretty darn close to freaking out.”

 

He took a sip of his beer, his gaze wearily wandering across the room.

 

”This is a nice place, though. Kind of fancy. I can see why you like it.”

[Ayakashiu]

There it was. A moment when his former student’s smile faded and his whole face seemed to darken. Riley got the sudden impulse to touch him and chase away that expression, but he didn’t follow it through. Instead he downed the rest of his drink in one go, hoping it will start to affect him soon. The moment didn’t last long and as suddenly as it came, it was gone and the younger male was again his old, cheery self, explaining the reasons that brought him here.

 

“So your friend basically played a prank on you?” Riley’s eyebrows shot up quizzically. “Well you definitely don’t have to worry about anything here. The owner is very strict and he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you here. As you said, it’s a nice place.”

 

The plan of letting the conversation die down was rapidly fading into the back of the teacher’s mind, as he continued talking. “You should be cautious when you get to the last table to your left though. You see the big, scary looking guy sitting there? That’s Rob and he’s actually really nice, but has a bad habit of getting all touchy-feely, if someone is nice to him. Don’t give him false hope alright?” Riley’s lips were tugging into an amused smile as he finished talking, he himself being a victim of Rob’s bone crushing hugs one too many times.

 

He was feeling more relaxed now and the need to push the other away wasn’t as strong anymore. He could handle an innocent talk with Andrew, without risking all the old feelings resurfacing, or at least that’s what he was telling himself. It was only for a short time after all.

[Gladis]

”Hyea, I guess you could say that!” Andrew agreed, sounding all too cheerful about it. It was a comfort to hear that nothing bad would happen, although Andrew wasn’t sure that was what he’d worried about in the first place. He was after all the likelier one to mess up. Making conversation with strangers was awkward. Especially considering he hadn’t come there for the same reason as most of the others. ”Well, regardless I’m happy that I went. I’m happy that I got to see you again.”

 

Following Riley’s gaze as he warned him about the large fellow at the last table, Andrew gulped. Riley was right. He did look kind of scary. ”Alright, I’ll keep that in mind…” He said, a little nervously. Apparently obviously so, because when he turned his head back to look at his former teacher, he realized that he was smiling. His heart skipped a beat. How long had it been since he’d seen Riley smile like that? Wasn’t that the smile he had fallen in love with all those years ago? No, he told himself. No, that wasn’t love. I only misinterpreted my feelings as such. They weren’t real. I was young and confused. It wasn’t love… Trying to think of anything other than how beautiful Riley was when he smiled, he grabbed his beer and gulped down almost half of what remained.

 

”Oh!” He exclaimed, as though he was just suddenly remembering something. ”I haven’t showed you yet...” Setting down the glass, he fumbled around round his pocket for a moment before drawing out his phone, swiping across the screen to unlock it. Then he turned it around, sliding it across the table for Riley to see. His background picture was of a little girl, no older than three or four. She was gazing straight at the camera with a grin that rivaled Andrew’s, her eyes large and blue-ish gray. Short chestnut hair whisked around her rosy cheeks, and she was wearing a green summer dress.

 

”Her name’s Lucy. Isn’t she the cutest?” He asked softly, and there was pride in his voice. But then his smile began to falter, and he added with a hint of sadness. ”Although I don’t get to see her much. Her mom isn’t exactly fond of me, and her grandmother is a harpy."

[Ayakashiu]

Hearing his cheerful former student casually remark he was happy to see him again, made Riley’s throat constrict and he refused to think about the things the simple statement made him feel. He could focus on that later or better yet, never. After this evening he didn’t need to think about this again. He will have plenty of other, more important things to think about, like his work and his students.

 

The warning about Rob seemed to make the other nervous, which wasn’t Riley’s intention. It was meant more like a tease and a friendly caution, so Andrew wouldn’t be taken back by the big guy. But it seemed to have exactly the opposite effect, making the young male gulp down a large portion of his beer. Riley opened his mouth to apologize for joking about it, when he was interrupted by a loud “Oh!”

 

After some fumbling, a phone was pushed in front of the teacher and he couldn’t help but frown, when a familiar pair of eyes stared back at him. He managed to make his face blank, as he listened to Andrew’s explanation about his daughter. His feelings were conflicted. On one side, he was feeling jealous, which Riley knew was irrational, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew that his former student will get on with his life, but seeing it was another matter entirely. On the other side, he felt happy for him. It was obvious how much Andrew loved the little girl, pride evident in his voice.

 

Lucy was really adorable, wearing that big smile. That’s probably how his former student looked like when he was a kid and Riley wished he could see some of those photos. He looked up, pushing the phone back, making sure there was a smile on his face. “She is the cutest. Looks exactly like you. How old is she?” It was an effort getting those words out, but Riley did mean them. He took another sip of his drink, hoping it will start blurring out everything soon. Why was it so hard dealing with this? He really thought he got over his former student and that it was all in the past.

[Gladis]

Andrew wasn’t sure what sort of reaction he’d been expecting, or even what he was hoping for. Nevertheless, to hear Riley agree with him made him happy, the other’s words causing his smile to widen slightly. Taking his phone he slipped it back into his pocket, leaning forward slightly to rest his chin in his propped up hand. ”She turned four just last week. Apparently they’re throwing a big party for her.” He sighed softly before downing the rest of his beer.

 

”I… was in a really bad place back then. Did a lot of stupid things I shouldn’t have. She’s probably the only good that came out of it. The only thing I don’t regret,” he paused, and as though suddenly realizing the implications of his words, he quickly added, ”A-ah! It wasn’t your fault though. It might have ended up that way regardless. I wasn’t exactly….” There it was. The elephant in the room. The topic he knew none of them really wanted to talk about, and he’d accidentally breached it. He swallowed hard, half a mind to order himself another beer only to remind himself of the fact that he’d emptied his first glass in under ten minutes.

 

”I don’t hate you for it.” he said quietly, his gaze dropping down to the table. ”The things that happened back then. I didn’t get it at the time but… It wasn’t appropriate. I shouldn’t have…” he wrung his hands together, his throat feeling tight. This was all wrong. It wasn’t supposed to hurt anymore. He was over it. That was what he desperately wanted to believe. So why did it feel like his heart was being crushed under a heavy, unexplainable weight? Why did even something as simple as breathing feel like an effort?

 

”I’m sorry.” He pressed out, although he wasn’t entirely sure what he was apologizing for. If it was for their unfortunate shared past, for having brought it up or even for just having come there in the first place. Perhaps all of them.

[Ayakashiu]

If there was a time to get dead drunk, it was now. Riley didn’t know how they got from talking about Lucy, to talking about their shared past, but he knew with absolute certainty that this wasn’t the topic he wanted to discuss. Not that talking about his former student’s daughter was any better. It was obvious that Andrew’s family broke apart and the teacher couldn’t help but feel responsible, despite the other’s words.

 

Riley downed the remains of his drink in one swoop, needing the courage the drink usually gave him. He should just man up and handle this situation as an adult. They were both adults now, so they could solve this normally. In the past, Riley didn’t handle the situation the best way. He regretted how it all went down, but he was in a whirlwind of feelings. Guilt, affection, self-deprecation, longing..too many feelings to take in at once and it clouded his judgement. But now he had a chance to fix it. There might not be a need to push his former student away, like he did way back then.

 

Just as he found his resolution, the organisers announced through the speakers that the first ten minutes are up. Riley scowled and cursed inwardly. It was the perfect opportunity for him to get away from Andrew, but he finally decided to make things right and now he was interrupted. The drink must have begun to affect him, because he waved the next person who was supposed to sit down away and grabbed his former student’s hand. It was against the rules, but rules were meant to be broken anyway right?

 

“You don’t have to apologize. Although you’re right, it was inappropriate.” The teacher tried to appear calm and collected, his voice devote of emotion, while he rushed the words out. “It is in the past now, so no reason to bring it up again.” His stomach began to ache from thinking just how inappropriate it was for him, to still have these feelings for his former student.

 

He wanted to say something to keep Andrew from moving to the next table, but couldn’t really think of anything, so he went with the only thing his former student seemed to want to talk about. “Tell me why you can’t see Lucy much. Even if her mother doesn’t like you, you’re still her father and you should be a part of her life.” Maybe if he will help the other with his problems, he can redeem himself at least a bit. That’s what a good teacher is supposed to do, hear the students out and help them with their problems.

[Gladis]

Andrew wasn’t completely oblivious to the fact that Riley didn’t seem entirely comfortable with the situation. Well, of course he wasn't. It was awkward. Everything about it was awkward. Talking to his former crush (that was also his former teacher) about his daughter was awkward. Talking about their shared past was… painful and awkward. Breaking the rules like this was awkward too, but feeling Riley’s hand grab onto his own rendered any desire of sticking to them obsolete. His cheeks flushed bright red, and though he wanted to blame it on the alcohol he knew full and well his beer was not the only culprit.

 

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t real… Yet no matter how much he tried telling himself that, his heart wouldn’t stop hammering in his chest. Why did he feel the urge to say and do things he knew he shouldn’t, when he was so convinced his crush on Riley had been a lie?

 

He let out a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. ”It just kind of ended up that way. I had what – just turned 18 at the time? Didn’t feel ready to be a parent, and even if I had, I lacked the financial means. My mother and I were barely scraping by as it was, and we were dealing with a lot of other problems as well. Julia’s family is considerably better off. So besides her just being the mother, it made sense that she should have custody of the child. Didn’t help that her parents really don’t like me. And I mean, I guess I’ve given them good reasons not to…” he trailed off, downing the rest of his beer.

 

”They even offered me a shitton of money in exchange for promising to stay out of their lives. I…” Andrew stopped, expression filled with regret as he tried to get the words out. ”I was so stupid. We were in dire need of it at the time so I accepted it. At first it didn’t bother me too much but as time went on…” he trailed off, shaking his head as he gazed down at the table. ”I’m sorry,” he said again, ”I shouldn’t be talking about this now. It’s neither the time nor place, and we’re way past a point where you’re obligated to listen to my problems.” He smiled a little, placing his free hand over Riley’s as he glanced up to meet his former teacher’s gaze.

 

”Besides, I’m fairly certain one of the organizers is glaring at us.”

[Ayakashiu]

Seeing Andrew flushed was cute and when he rubbed his neck, Riley found himself thinking how nice it would be, if he could touch him there instead or run a hand through his hair. But those thoughts were quickly pushed away, instead the teacher focused on what his former student was saying.

 

Riley only noticed he was still holding the other’s hand, when Andrew put his free hand over it. It was a strangely intimate gesture and it left the teacher stunned for a moment. “You were just 18? Still a kid then. I don’t think you were stupid for taking the money, if you needed it. I didn’t know you had that much problems though..wish you would have told me that.”

 

It surprised Riley what he just said. What would change, if he knew about his former student’s problems? He wasn’t in a position to help him financially and probably not in any other way, as his teacher. It was a stupid thing to say and the room was suddenly getting too hot and suffocating. “You’re right, he’s staring at us. Let’s get out of here, before he decides to come over.” He stood up, freeing his hand, hoping that the other will follow him.

 

He just indicated to the waiter to put the drinks on his tab, as he passed the bar. He can always pay for them next time he comes around. The fresh air outside felt good on his skin and Riley breathed in deeply, his head finally clearing a little. He didn’t notice till now, that having Andrew so close, affected him this much.

[Gladis]

Andrew smiled ruefully. ”Perhaps, and there’s a good chance that not accepting the money wouldn’t have changed anything, either, but I still often find myself thinking ’what if’. I don’t want her to grow up the way I did. You know… without even really knowing who my dad was. I also don’t want her to feel like she was unwanted or that I don’t care about her… because I do. I just wish I had a way of showing it.” He paused, tilting his head slightly to the side as Riley expressed how he wished Andrew had told him back then.

 

”... You weren’t around when most of it happened...”

 

The words slipped past his lips before he could stop himself. Realizing how it might have sounded to Riley, he added. ”After my confession you weren’t exactly approachable, you know. Not that I blame you for it. It’s just… it made some things difficult to talk about.” That was an understatement. Andrew may have pretended that he hadn’t noticed Riley’s change in attitude back then, but of course he’d noticed. It had hurt. It had hurt a lot, and in a way, it still did. Riley was the first teacher he’d ever opened up to. For their relationship to have changed so drastically – even though he knew part of the fault was his own, certainly hadn’t done Andrew any favors.

 

”Please don’t worry about it too much, though. It’s all in the past now. Things are a lot better these days, and I’m doing fine. So it turned out alright in the end.”

 

Andrew paused, nodding his head in agreement to Riley’s suggestion as he rose from his seat.

 

The moment they stepped outside, he felt a drop of rain splash onto his nose. Even so, the fresh air helped him clear his mind, and somehow seemed to dispense the heavy atmosphere he’d felt within the bar. Glancing up at the darkened sky, he gave Riley a moment to gather himself before allowing his gaze to settle on his former teacher once more.

 

”So, where to now?” He asked, his lips pulling back into a small grin.

[Ayakashiu]

It was a struggle, listening to his former student’s problems and not knowing how to help. As a teacher, Riley felt obligated to at least encourage his students to try and find a solution, but Andrew’s problem looked too hard to solve. At least he was at a loss what to say to all this.

 

”... You weren’t around when most of it happened...”

 

That short sentence felt like a knife was stabbed into the teacher’s back. The worst part of it was that it was all true. He tried so hard back then, to put a distance between himself and Andrew, but in the end it did more damage than good. Or did it? Wouldn’t things just get messier, if they stayed like they were or even get involved? Riley’s head began to hurt just by thinking about it.

 

He sometimes wished life was like chemistry, where everything followed certain rules. It would be so much easier if someone would just tell him what procedure to follow, to get the wanted result, instead of this constant guessing and questioning himself.

 

Seeing how Andrew glanced up at the sky, when they were outside, he mimicked the gesture. It seemed like there was a storm coming, so a walk wasn’t really a good idea at the moment and nothing else came to his mind either. “Well, where would you like to go? I’m here with my car, so I can just take you home if you would prefer that.” There was a slight note of sadness in his voice that surprised even himself. Riley realized that he didn’t want their meeting to end just yet. There were so many things he wanted to say, but couldn’t really express in words, maybe even apologize for how he acted back then.

[Gladis]

”...” Andrew’s eyebrow drew upwards as he gazed at his former teacher in what seemed to be an incredulous mixture of scepticism and bafflement. ”Not to sound rude, teach, but… you only just had a drink. I’d always thought of you as a secret daredevil but… I didn’t think you were quite that daring.” His lips formed a slightly crooked smile as he slipped his hands into his pockets, casting another slightly glance at the darkening sky.

 

”My flat isn’t far from here – it’s only about fifteen minutes.” He said after a moment of thought. ”I can’t promise we’ll make it before it starts raining, but if you think you’ll manage anyway that’s always an option.”

 

Or was it really? Andrew had not failed to notice the sadness in Riley’s voice – a sadness he could very well understand. He too didn’t feel like he wanted to part ways just yet. That… didn’t mean that inviting his former crush and teacher into his home wasn’t just a little bit weird. And as the realization of that began to sink in, Andrew’s cheeks turned bright red.

 

”O-or we could-” regardless of what Andrew had meant to say, his words were cut short when suddenly and without warning, the first drop of rain splashed his nose. It was immediately followed by another… and another… until suddenly it was pouring. At that point Andrew had stopped thinking. He simply grabbed hold of Riley’s hand, quickly pulling him along to find cover under the roofed entrance to a nearby building. Because the space was very narrow, they had to stand closely huddled together, and even then part of Andrew’s back was still exposed to the rain. At least Riley, who now stood trapped between his tall frame and the door was fully covered.

 

”You alright?” He asked, raising his voice slightly to make sure he was heard through the loud noise of the rain.

[Ayakashiu]

Having to be reminded by his former student not to drink and drive, only proved how much this encounter threw Riley out of balance. He always called a taxi when he had something to drink, since he was too old to be that stupid. But tonight, it seemed that his common sense left him and he only huffed in a response, feeling irritated with himself.

 

His former student had another suggestion that made the teacher raise his eyebrows, like he usually did when his students said something ridiculous. Going to Andrew’s apartment where they will be alone, was definitely a bad idea! His former student probably came to the same conclusion, as his cheeks began to turn a bright shade of red. Riley rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of the best way to turn down the invitation, but before he could say anything, the sky opened up. The sudden downpour was fitting, seeing how his day went so far. Of course he will get wet too, like everything else that happened today wasn’t enough for one day.

 

His negative thoughts were interrupted by a sudden tug and he found himself being pulled after his former student. There wasn’t much cover to be found, but surely going back to the bar would be a better solution than this! The roof that Andrew pulled them under, was barely enough for one person, so they ended up huddled together really closely.

 

Hearing the other ask him if he was ok, made the teacher look up with a scowl on his face. No, he was not alright, definitely not alright! They were standing much too close to be comfortable and Andrew’s body was towering over his own, effectively guarding him against the rain, but also making him feel his body’s warmth all over himself. It made Riley wonder, when did the kid grew so tall.

 

“I’m alright,” he grumbled in response, but then realized that his former student wasn’t under the tiny roof completely. “But why are you asking me that, when you’re getting soaked?” he almost yelled back, the noise of the pouring rain making it hard to communicate. But there wasn’t any other cover to find in sight and it made the teacher look pointedly towards the clouds, urging them to clear up quickly. “Just let me stand there, I don’t want to be responsible for you getting sick.” He made a move to turn them around, thinking that way he could put some distance between their bodies. And as a teacher, he really couldn’t let his former student shield him from the rain.

[Gladis]

It did not take a genius to figure out that this hadn’t been one of Andrew’s… brighter ideas. Then again, it wasn’t as though he’d put all that much thought into it to begin with. Andrew rarely did. He was the sort of person that tended to act on instinct, rather than reason. Half the time that was the very trait that had gotten him into trouble. Yet… some would argue that it was part of what part of his charm. There was a sweet honesty to him that many in this day simply seemed to lack. He was impulsive, yes, but at least he had his heart in the right place.

 

Andrew shuddered slightly as the cold rain poured down his back, quickly beginning to soak through his clothes. It wasn’t very nice – not at all, and yet Andrew surprised to find that he didn’t particularly mind. For the blink of a second, it felt as though he was back in high school, and that the last five years hadn’t happened. He was still head over heels for Riley, and just happy that for once, their roles were reversed. That for once he could do something nice for the one person who had gotten through to him. Who instead of scolding him, had given him warmth, and care – putting his trust in him when everyone else seemed to have given up.

 

For a time, he had actually been the one to give Andrew’s life meaning – only to suddenly turn around and pull the rug out from under him. And he had done it in the most terrible, cruelest way possible.

 

Not by turning him down – Andrew could have handled that. Yet by pushing him away, by becoming cold and distant and at times even cruel… he had effectively cut off Andrew’s last, remaining life-line. He had taken away the only place in which Andrew had managed to find some semblance of stability, joy and support. And it had hurt. It had hurt so much more than any of the verbal abuse he’d suffered under some of the other teachers – because unlike Riley, they had never even bothered to pretend like they actually gave a shit about him. That was something he could never forget.

 

So when Riley suddenly tried to act all mature and nurturing about the situation, offering to take his place in the rain… it was almost as though his words flipped a switch, and a shadow crossed Andrew’s features.

 

”No!” He snapped, surprising himself by slamming the palm of his hand against the door right next to Riley’s head. It shuddered slightly under the force of the blow. ”I’m not a child anymore, Riley. You don’t have to feel responsible for anything!” If Riley had intended to put some distance between them, he had failed miserably, because Andrew was now closer to to him than ever, meeting his gaze head on. His hand curled against the glass and his lips trembled. But then his expression softened, and his initial anger was replaced by something a lot more vulnerable. He swallowed hard, his throat feeling tight and uncooperative.

 

”Just… just… stay where you are. Please, Riley… please stop pushing me away.” The words spilled from his mouth before he could stop himself, and with them the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He inhaled sharply, his vision becoming blurry as suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, he was overwhelmed by the pain and frustration he’d been trying so hard to keep under wraps all evening. It hurt. It still hurt so much – no matter how hard he tried to pretend it didn’t. No matter how hard he tried to forget, it was always there, lingering in the back of his mind. It always had. And it hurt… it hurt more than he could ever hope to express with words. So he cried. He cried the tears he had held in for so long. Ugly, they were, and raw and emotional – unceasing in their steady stream down his face. ”Please!” He begged, between violent sobs. ”Please don’t do that to me again…” he slid down until he was essentially squatting on the ground, burying his tear streaked face in his hands. He did not at all seem to care that he was now almost entirely exposed to the harsh weather, rain whipping against his back, pouring down his neck and shaking shoulders – soaking him to the very bone.

 

”I’m sorry!” He wailed, unsure if he was even heard through the rain. ”I’m sorry… for causing so much trouble. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to. But… but you were all I had! I’m so sorry. P-please don’t hate me...”

[Ayakashiu]

It was clear his former student was getting soaked, because he shuddered and Riley thought he will agree to change places with him. But then his expression changed and he snapped. Andrew’s refusal was accompanied with a loud bang, as he slammed his hand right next to the teacher’s head. It made him flinch and his eyes stared at the figure towering above him with shock. He didn’t expect the other to react so violently and it made him freeze up.

 

There was anger in his former student’s words as he spoke, telling Riley he isn’t a child anymore. He was so close now that the teacher started to feel caged and he fought the urge to flee. But as soon as the anger came, it was also gone, leaving Andrew in tears. The teacher didn’t know what shocked him more, the anger or the pleading he was listening to now. He was still frozen on the spot and he let his former student slid down, getting even more soaked. Hearing the other say ‘don’t do that to me again’, finally got him moving.

 

He slid down awkwardly too, not sure what the right thing to do now would be, but he knew that he can’t leave his former student like that. Andrew was apologizing, although half of what he was saying got lost in the rain. The teacher did caught the words ‘don’t hate me’, so he used his strict voice, the one he used when students weren’t listening to him. “Andrew, I’m not going anywhere, but you’re getting soaked like this! Come on, let’s get you up.” He pulled the other up, noticing he was basically soaked already.

 

He didn’t really have much choice right now. Andrew said his place is close, but fifteen minutes in this rain didn’t sound very pleasant. So the teacher decided to wait until the rain stops and then get his former student home. Downpour like this usually doesn’t last long and it seemed to him that it’s starting to calm down. But until then he had to do something to calm the other man.

 

He slid his arms around the taller male in a clumsy embrace, pulling their bodies together, trying to get his former student out of the rain as much as possible and rubbed his back. “Calm down, I don’t hate you. But I’m older and I’ll always think of you as a little brat, so I’ll also always feel responsible for you!” He wanted to keep his voice strict, but he couldn’t help a little warmth mixing in, as he called Andrew a little brat. He was aware the other man certainly wasn’t little anymore.

 

He kept his head turned sideways the whole time, feeling too awkward to look at Andrew as he kept rubbing his back, trying to warm him up through his wet clothes. He wasn’t used to comforting people, especially not his former student who made him question his every move! Riley usually dealt with students easily, keeping his distance, but with Andrew it was never that way. He always had a soft spot for the kid and soon grew too attached to him, but that was wrong on so many levels! The teacher always wanted what’s best for him, but he always messed up, because of his own feelings and he manage to mess up again, making the other man cry.

 

“It looks like the rain is stopping. Let’s head to your place as soon as it calms down and I’ll make you some tea to warm you up, okay?” He felt he could do at least that, feeling guilty for upsetting him.

[Gladis]

This was bad. Andrew had worked so hard this entire evening to convince Riley that he was a mature, functioning adult now. That he had outgrown his immaturity, that he was no longer the kid Riley had once reached out to. He did not want to be seen as a kid. Because he knew, that no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it was not so, somewhere deep down, there was a part of him that still… well, perhaps not loved, but in spite of everything at least deeply cared for him.

 

Andrew wanted to make him proud. He wanted to impress him. Yet there was nothing impressive about crying like this in the rain. He felt embarrassed with himself, and though he was sure that Riley’s words were meant to comfort him, they only served to rub it in further. He was still the immature brat from all those years ago. Nothing had changed, and it still hurt just as bad. There was a small part of him that just wished he could leave; run away and pretend this entire evening hadn’t happened. Yet life was never that simple, was it?

 

Though Riley was difficult to hear through the rain, he could catch the general gist of what he was saying. And indeed, the heavy rain slowly began to subside. Andrew glanced up, only to see that Riley was looking away, understandably embarrassed. This entire situation was… painfully awkward. Now that Andrew had calmed down, he was beginning to become increasingly aware of that fact.

 

”I’m...sorry…” It was the only thing he could bring himself to say at that moment, his voice still thick with emotion. ”I’m sorry I lashed out...and...” he trailed off, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He also felt like he was in desperate need of blowing his nose. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, Andrew rose to his feet, pausing as Riley made his suggestion. It was incredibly tempting, but… it also somehow felt very wrong.

 

”I didn’t cry to guilt you into doing something we both know you’d find terribly awkward. I-I… I’m really sorry, I don’t know why I...I really shouldn’t have…” he bit down on his bottom lip, raking a hand through his messy, and now terribly wet hair. ”It’s just that… pretending like everything is fine is not really working out for either of us, is it? Because we both know it’s really not…”

[Ayakashiu]

Hearing his former student apologize, felt worse than he thought it would. Wasn’t Riley the one who should be apologizing here? Andrew was just a lost kid who needed guidance and he was the one who messed everything up. This sudden encounter threw him off balance and he couldn’t think about anything, but guilt, while he should be trying to make things right. The past couldn’t be changed, but he could at least try and make some amends in the present.

 

It was a good idea, but there was only one problem. Andrew grew up to become this tall, handsome man and seeing him bit down on his lip, dripping with water, made all the wrong things pop into the teacher’s head. So he inwardly scolded himself to focus!

 

“You’re right. We shouldn’t pretend like everything is fine.” Riley took in a deep breath, before continuing. “So let me apologize for how I treated you back then. There’s really no excuse for my behavior. Meeting you again after all those years, just reminded me how much I failed, so it’s really not you who should be apologizing, but me.” He looked directly into his former student’s eyes as he said those words, wanting him to know he meant it.

 

The teacher was feeling more confident now that he got those words out, feeling like he was finally saying what should be said a long time ago already. “And you didn’t guilt me into anything. I obviously upset you, so just let me take you home and make sure you’re alright. I would be calmer, if I knew you were safe and warm and not catching a cold because of me.” His voice got more confident and he felt like his emotions were also back in check. His former student was an adult now, so Riley didn’t feel awkward about his offer. He will just make sure Andrew is home and then he’ll leave.

 

Riley looked up and noticed the rain has stopped, so he stepped out from under their small shelter turning only his head, as he said, “So can you indulge your former teacher a little and just let me accompany you home?”

[Gladis]

Andrew felt numb. The kind of numb that made his legs feel too heavy to move, even though there was a small voice in the back of his mind yelling at him to leave before he turned himself into even more of a fool. The kind of numb that kind of made it feel like he’d swallowed a frog, in turn rendering him incapable of proper speech. The kind of numbness that overcomes you when you are faced with a situation you don’t know how to handle.

 

This was one such situation.

 

He had always wanted this apology, yet now that he was getting it… he wasn’t sure how to respond. What does one even say? It’s okay? It doesn’t matter? Don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault? None of those were true, and they were both very much aware of that. True, it hadn’t just been Riley’s fault. Andrew’s difficult personality had definitely played a part in it too. The difference was that Riley had been the adult in that situation, and he had failed to handle it as such. In the end, it had done a lot more harm than good. At least as far as Andrew was concerned, and although he wasn’t generally one to hold grudges (even now he didn’t hate Riley for it, as he had already stated), he still couldn’t deny that it had hurt.

 

And so he said the only thing that felt appropriate at that moment.

 

”Thank you.”

 

It was as though those words had lifted a small weight from his shoulders, and he even allowed himself to smile slightly. And then, because he didn’t want Riley to see the blush that spread across his cheeks, he turned his head away.

 

”You know, I always thought you were really cool when you got all bossy like that. You are kind, but have a way of making people listen to you. I admired that a lot… well, come, this way it is, then…”

 

Sliding his hands into his pockets, he inclined his head and picked up a comfortable pace. He didn’t feel nearly as bothered by being soaked to the bone as he probably should have. Perhaps because he was too busy thinking about the fact Riley of all people had not only offered, but insisted on walking him home.

 

You know it’s only because you started crying, dimwit. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He just wants to make sure you get home safely because you’re his former student, and that’s why he cares. That’s the only reason so… you shouldn’t get that worked up over it.

 

Yet no matter how much he kept telling himself that, his heart kept racing in a way it hadn’t done in years. It made the time it took to get to his neighbourhood seem both torturously slow and way too fast at once. So by the time the familiar view of the somewhat rundown, mustard gray facades of a number of near identical apartment complexes came into his line of sight, he felt both sadness and relief.

 

”It’s not very far now.” He said, pointing across the street. ”It’s not the nicest of neighbourhoods, but it certainly serves its purpose.”

[Ayakashiu]

The teacher didn’t expect a reply to his apology, but hearing a simple ‘thank you’, made him crack a sad smile. He really should have said that a long time ago and he felt he still has a long way to go as a teacher. Being passionate about it wasn’t enough.

 

When Andrew turned his head away and said he thinks Riley is really cool, when he gets bossy, the teacher couldn’t help but chuckle. It was such a cute thing to say after all. “I think I wasn’t all that successful at making you listen to me,” he teased. “You’ve always done whatever you wanted.” It was something that draw the teacher to him in the first place, a challenge. But he ended up completely overtaken by his student.

 

He matched his former student’s pace and they walked in a pleasant silence. Andrew look lost in thought, so Riley stayed quiet too and thought about what happened. He still felt bad at how he treated the taller male, even causing his break down. Why was Andrew always the one to make him loose his composure and act like this? He didn’t like it and he really wished there was something he could do for his former student now.

 

It wasn’t long until they arrived to the neighborhood full of apartment buildings and Andrew broke the silence. He pointed out it wasn’t the nicest of neighborhoods, but Riley didn’t really care for that. What he wanted to know, was something else. “Is it safe?” he asked, not liking the idea that his former student might be leaving in a dangerous place.

 

Not sure, if the other is comfortable having him here, he checked, “Is it okay, if I come to your apartment?” He caused enough harm already, so making him uncomfortable or forcing himself into his home was the last thing he wanted to do. But he did want to help him settle after this evening, making sure he is safely at home. His former student was more drenched that he himself was, so he should definitely make sure he will change his clothes and get warm, so he won’t catch a cold.

[Gladis]

”Is it safe?”

 

Andrew found himself unable to withhold an amused chuckle in response to Riley’s not entirely unexpected, but still somewhat odd question. It was flattering to know that he cared enough to ask.

 

”Well, I’ve ain’t been shot yet, if that’s what you mean.” Andrew replied with a grin, and then just in case Riley happened to take him seriously he added. ”No, it’s safe alright. Just not very nice. Close to the railway so there’s lots of noise, and most of the buildings in this area were built with the 60s design sensibilities in mind. Function over form, you know. There’s a really nice park nearby, though…” he trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets. Then he paused, throwing Riley a quizzical glance.

 

”’Course it’s okay. It was me who invited you, after all.” He reminded him, taking his eyes off Riley for a moment to dial the entry code into the panel by the door to the apartment complex.

 

All in all it had 5 floors, of which Andrew’s humble abode was located on the 4th. The small studio apartment was cramped and the definition of cluttered, with stuff flying about just about everywhere. Mostly clothes – his sofa was filled to the brim with a pile of clean ones that had yet to be folded. Used dishes from that morning were still out on the kitchen counter, and it looked like he’d left in a hurry, because the half empty milk bottle was there as well. The walls were covered in so many posters of mostly music groups that it became nigh impossible to tell what sort of wallpaper might have been underneath, and although his bookshelves notably seemed to lack...well… actual books, they housed an impressive collection of video game and CD cases – the former of which some were spread out on the living room table, along with a couple of open beer cans an empty pizza carton.

 

Andrew must have realized what an impression the state of his home probably made, because his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. ”Ah… please excuse the mess. I didn’t realize I’d be having you over…” he leaned down to pick up the mail, but paused when he felt something stroke itself against his legs. His lips curled into a smile. ”Well, hello to you too, Diana.” he mused, reaching out to gently scratch the cat behind her ear. She was almost entirely black – except for the white spot on her chest and the sock on her left front paw. Her eyes were a beautiful amber, and they regarded Riley with alert curiosity.

 

”Well...uhm…please make yourself at home.” After swiftly looking through mail he put it aside on the kitchen table. ”Would you like something to drink?” Andrew asked, almost a little nervously, as he turned his head to look at Riley.

[Ayakashiu]

There was an amused chuckle from his former student, before he joked that he hasn’t been shot yet. That earned him a stern look from Riley and only after Andrew confirmed that it’s safe, did the teacher nod approvingly. “Do you ever go to the park?” he asked with a smile, not quite being able to imagine his former student strolling around parks.

 

After they arrived at the fourth floor, Andrew let him into his apartment. Riley couldn’t really say he was surprised to see the mess, but the disapproval radiated off of him. His former student at least had some manners, because he apologized for the state his home was in and even blushed a little. A thought crossed his mind, how Andrew looks cute when he blushes, but he quickly pushed it away.

 

He cleared his throat and commented dryly, “I hope you didn’t plan having anyone over Andrew, when your apartment looks like this.” Looking around he couldn’t help but feel the urge to make some order, when he noticed his student greeting someone.

 

It turned out to be a cat, who was now regarding him curiously. He crouched and slowly stretched his hand, petting it on the head. It was a really beautiful creature, almost completely black. Riley always liked cats; maybe because they seemed like they understood what was said as they looked at you with their intelligent eyes. But the animal didn’t seem completely at ease around him, so when he heard his former student tell him to feel at home and offered him a drink, he stood up and looked around again, wondering how was he supposed to make himself at home here.

 

Not putting his thoughts into words, although they were clearly written on his face, he replied, his words leaving no room for argument. “Why don’t you go take a shower and change into dry clothes? I can make us something to drink in the meanwhile.” He was already shrugging off his wet jacket, hanging it over a chair where it’ll hopefully dry as he headed towards the small kitchen.