Zero at the Bone by Jane Seville [Rant Review]

[rev22x20]

Zero at the Bone

 

 

Wow, 2 rants in one day. I must be grumpy! No. I mean, yes but no. I just read a lot so I have a lot of feelings.

 

Overview: "After witnessing a mob hit, surgeon Jack Francisco is put into protective custody to keep him safe until he can testify. A hitman known only as D is blackmailed into killing Jack, but when he tracks him down, his weary conscience won't allow him to murder an innocent man. Finding in each other an unlikely ally, Jack and D are soon on the run from shadowy enemies. Forced to work together to survive, the two men forge a bond that ripens into unexpected passion. Jack sees the wounded soul beneath D's cold, detached exterior, and D finds in Jack the person who can help him reclaim the man he once was. As the day of Jack's testimony approaches, he and D find themselves not only fighting for their lives... but also fighting for their future. A future together." Rate of 4.14 stars on Goodreads (Good Lord who art in heaven...)

 

 

Damn, that sure as hell sounds like a book filled with action, blood, some dirty sex with some dirty talk but also some TLC. Well,

 

JOKES ON YOU. AND ME.

 

Goodreads review: "It took me 2 days to read 93 pages of this book before I had to shove it in the deepest parts of the DNF shelf. I had to stop constantly to take a look at the clouds because I was too bored to continue.

 

The entire 93 pages were just dialogue, dialogue and more dialogue. Boring dialogue, mind you. D is boring and his “accent” its just stupid, Jack is boring, the plot is boring, the pace is boring. I dint get the whole “Contract killer” vibe and excitement that I’ve gotten from other books. The whole “I only kill bad guys”, by the way, gets boring after a while. That is literally what 95% of authors do. Write me a bad guy for the sake of it and I’ll call that revolutionary and original.

 

Ugh. What a grind fest this was. I can’t believe people are going nuts for this. Color me "meh’d". My rating? fucking 1 star.

 

Why can't I fucking find a "contract killer/hitman/man that hits/man that kills" book that doesn't try to give the said man that kills, a tragic cheesy cliche backstory or at the very LEAST, doesn't try to change me my man that kills and is grumpy and badass into a "I will lower the moon and the stars for you. I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. Your eyes are so blue like the bottom of an Olympic pool and I will eat your ass while The Weeknd plays on the background. But not the old The Weeknd with his dirty songs but the new The Weeknd with his cheesy censored songs because I love you also I don't want to kill anymore because you changed me."

 

I know what I signed up for! I went into that "HITMAN" book because I wanted guts and glory not one of those cheesy novels that you find at clearance on Wal-Mart.

But besides all that, the book is just...dialogue, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue, talk, talk, talk, stay in one place for too long even though the US Marshalls, the entire mob, possibly the FBI because who knows at this point, is looking for us to arrest/kill our asses even though I am a seasoned "HITMAN" that should know staying in one place for too long is a "No-No". Hell, I am a nurse who's afraid of knives and fire and even I know that.

 

Listen, I don't know anything about this book. I just read 93 pages before I threw myself over the nearest bridge so I don't know what happened in the middle nor the end. Maybe it got better? who knows, please do tell me if it did couse I sure as hell won't read to find out.