Faces Of The Past [Ayakashiu&Hideki] (Private)

[-Hideki-]

Ethan Cornwell

Age:34 years

Height: 1,81m

Hair colour: red

Eye colour: hazel

Occupation: project manager in real estate

Sexual Orientation: homosexual

Biography: Ethan was born the only child to Steven and Lillian Cornwell in a small southern conservative town. As well as the overall town his parents were incredibly religious people hence Ethan found himself in Bible school every weekend during his childhood. The redheaded boy however didn’t care so much for the religious teachings and would have much rather been at home or outside to play with trading cards, build a tree house, reading comic books or do something other than having to listen to their towns priest going on and on about Bible verses.

 

He never really fit in or had many friends so he usually played alone in his parent’s yard or in the fields until he met another boy who would become his best and only friend in town. They would spend their whole days together and grew up around each other and everything was simple and jolly until middle school where Ethan discovered that he had had a crush on his best friend. He never confessed to him! He didn’t want to ruin their friendship nor did he want the other to hate him for being gay and while he loved to spend time with his best friend and they continued to play their video games, to go to their comic conventions and run from the bullies in school together it always hurt him at the same time especially when the other started to talk about girls in his presence, wanting his opinions and advice that he couldn’t really give anyway.

 

Having to hear his parent’s homophobic rants, the town’s people’s hostility when they talked about gay people he hid himself and made the decision to leave the town that sickened him and that he had come to hate with every cell of his body as soon as he’d graduate high-school and so he did.

The early morning after the graduation ceremony he left a letter for his parents on the coffee table and left town towards the air port and flew across the country to his older e-mail contact he had gotten to know over the internet and whom he had never seen before but whom he had ranted to about the whole thing about the town, his parents and with his best friend especially when something the other had did had hurt him again without the man’s knowledge.

 

Living with the older male as friends with benefits or something like that he then applied for college and his live started to get better in the large liberal city he lived in where at least the vast majority of people didn’t care that he was gay and he could live as openly as he wanted. After breaking up with the man he had moved in with he got a side job in a games store and moved to live in a flat share with some LGBT students. He was establishing a large circle of friends and was finding stable monogamous long term relationships, finally being happy not thinking about his birthplace anymore and only seldom about his best friend he had left behind without a single word. What should he have said anyway? It certainly had been the best for the both of them after all!

 

At thirty-four he got it made financially, lived in an expensive, nice loft in the city that he had bought and was generally successful. He didn’t think that anything would happen to ruin the happiness and inner peace he felt but then one event after the other occured. His boyfriend broke up with him saying he had gotten too ‘petty bourgeois’ and domestic and left him in the huge loft with his goldfish. It came worse though when his boss announced that their company had a new building project, entire housing complexes should be built, something entirely new should be established and he would be the one to manage the project and then smacked a card onto the table and drew a red circle around his home town he had never wanted to hear about nor set a foot inside anymore. But he was going! It was inevitable!

 

•▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஐ۩ ⚣ ۩ஐ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬•

 

Grey smoke was clouding the glass and the inside of the taxi when he exhaled deeply as his hazel eyes were peering through the window staring at the old building in front of his eyes. The fence, the yard, the stairs, the huge double doors it made him feel sick inside. All those memories were coming back onto his mind, the insults on his locker, bodies blocking the hallway, laughter, objects hitting the back of his head, the beatings and getting stuffed into the locker. His body hair was standing straight and disgust crept up his spine as he took another pull on his cigarette, the smoke unfolding again. Between all those images there was the memory of a face popping up on his mind, a smile, that adorable smile. He cringed at himself and his eyes weren’t even blinking as he stared at his former high-school.

 

It looked exactly as back then, nothing had changed, and it was as if time had stood still or he had just time travelled. Of course nothing would change in a place like that. Places like this were immune to any change or going with time, they were depended, backwards and they’d always stay like this. Shit would never be turned into gold! Even if one painted the shit golden it’d stay stinking, disgusting shit after all! A stain on their nations map! And here he was send to built something new, to improve the location! Improve the location…. Jeez, something like this couldn’t be improved by building appealing and luxurious living spaces, by modernising the landscapes. This town was rotten from the inside. Rotten deeply! Maybe if one would replace the bigoted idiots living there, his parents first, one could improve something and hope for some progress, otherwise it was all for nothing.

 

Ethan felt like this place didn’t deserve that he managed a project to improve it. Why camouflage the gross inside with a new façade? Why not let everyone see what kind of unattractive, unwelcoming place this was? What was he even doing here? Sure he was in that stupid town due to his work but what was he doing h e r e, in front of that school. His eyes moved and he saw the sign above the entrance that stated the year of his graduation and ‘school reunion’. Why had he come? He hated all of those grimaces! He didn’t want to actually see them. It had been worse enough that he had to work together with Jake Meyer a former football player in high-school who had been the head of the bullies who had made his life a living hell. And Jake had smiled at him, had greeted him friendly like an old friend as if he didn’t even remember. As if he didn’t remember the insults and the humiliation and the hurt he had put him and his friend through. As if it didn’t even matter anymore. It had made him boil inside but he had kept professional, he was there for work after all and maybe half of the rage had been from seeing his parents in the grocery store before who had looked shocked and then disgusted when they had seen him as if Ethan was a fly or a maggot in their soup and it had been to be expected and it wasn’t like he had had any contact with them or would have any nice feelings about them but seeing them for real and being looked at by the own parents like this, it had hurt and angered him.

 

Jake had introduced him to another former classmate of his who had been head cheerleader and was now a secretary and while she had not been able to stop herself from expression how gross Ethan had been back in high-school she had now been just as friendly, just as über lovely, even flirtatious towards him not getting over how ‘handsome and fancy’ he looked and the two of them had informed him about the school-reunion that was taking place in town tonight and insisting that he needed to come. The red head had immediately felt put off and averse to it but he had tried to stay professional in the conversation and he had in a moment of idiocy and thoughtlessness agreed to go to that party.

 

Then he had thought why the hell not! He was better than all of those losers in their stinking boring small town with their small-minded pathetic little lives so why not show them, why not show them what they would never get! Why not make them jealous of him! Ethan was living in fucking Manhattan alright! The centre of the world! While they had gotten stuck in where-the-hell-is-this-shithole-loserville! Where the only book most of them had ever read was over two thousand years old and was the worst fiction novel he had ever read. Cornwell had everything! He was living the dream and he was rich! He could buy their stupid little town but he wouldn’t even take it for free, not even if they begged him because it sucked big time.

 

But now that the taxi had arrived and he was seeing his former school it seemed like a bad idea. They weren’t worth it! They weren’t worth that he tried to make them jealous or would brag about his life in from of them. They weren’t worth to even have their existence acknowledged by him or that he’d even talk to them. He was only here for his job and to get even further in his career. Those towns’ people could go into their all so frequently mentioned hell and stay there for all he cared. Another wave of disgust hit him, disgust about the town, disgust about the people, disgust of being back in that place. Pulling on his cigarette again he focussed on the smoke filling his lungs and keeping it there for as long as he could when he heard a scratchy voice speaking. “Sir, we’re at your destination. Do you wanna leave or no?” the driver asked and Cornwell let out the smoke, pressed the money into the man’s hand and left the car.

 

The air, the air smelled exactly the same as back then as well making him screw up his nose as he sat his foot in the expensive shoes onto the property of the school and straightened his designer suit, the cigarette sticking in the corner of his mouth. There were giggling couples and groups approaching the building in what was their best attire and it made Ethan snort at their shitty clothing, stupid hillbillies, and in their tiny minds they probably thought they looked nice. With this they’d not get in any of the restaurants or clubs Cornwell went to in New York. He’d show them! He decided. He’d show them that although they had tried to tear him apart and had made his live a living hell back then that he was much better off now and was laughing about them.

 

Walking up the stairs he was standing in front of the large door and he stared at it as if the door itself was an enemy of his. He had never wanted to set foot inside this school again and yet here he was. The corner of his mouth flashed up challengingly as he looked at the door. ‘Fucking dump’ he thought and spat the cigarette out of his mouth stepping onto it reayd to go inside when he heard a voice calling his name. It was Jake Meyer!

 

Annoyance rose up in him and he rolled his eyes before he turned around and looked into the stubbly face with the square jaw of Jake Meyer. The dirty blond man was as broad and as muscular as he had been as a teenager, just older and dressed in a dark blue suit he had probably bought in the department store in the neighbour town. He waved at him and he didn’t understand why this fucking bastard didn’t seem to remember that they weren’t friends, that he didn’t even seem to be able to consider the possibility that Ethan might hate his guts for all the shit he had done to him! That the red head didn’t want to work with him nor be around him on a stupid school reunion but would have badly liked it spit into his stupid face and punch right into it. “Good evening buddy!” Jake greeted and slammed his hand onto his shoulder. ‘I’m not your body arsehole, hands off’ he thought but he smiled instead “Good evening! Shall we go in.” he said politely and Jake nodded. “Yes, I think Charlene is still inside as well. Ah, look there is O’Neal. Hey, O’Neal!” he shouted towards the guy from his former football team and Ethan saw O’Neal grin and wave as he waited at his pick-up truck for his pregnant wife to get outside.

 

Ethan ignored it and just stepped in, maybe he would get rid of Jake like this anyway but the other didn’t do him that favour and followed up. “Quite in a hurry? Can’t wait for the party?”the other man asked apparently actually thrilled about the party as it was something going on, an event in a town where not much happened during the year and the ginger ignored him. Of course he was not existed. And when they stepped into the school hall that was decorated, had a buffet and a bar built up and was crowded with people, music from the 90ies playing in the background, a lot of chattering, happy faces and smiles, he kinda lost the motivation to brag and show them how dumb and pathetic they and their lives were. They seemed happy. They didn’t seem frustrated and bored and fed up at all. Ignorance really was bliss it seemed. How did their favourite book say again: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit…’

 

His stomach was turning upside down and he got the feeling to just place himself on the wall somewhere, to hope that no one else would talk to him so that he could do his time and then leave again as soon as it wasn’t suspicious anymore. A thought that reminded him about his high-school days again in and of itself! Fuck! He needed a drink. “Where are you going old chap!” Jake was calling after him when he was heading into the direction of the bar. “Get a drink. I bring you one too.” The red head said and the blond man smiled. “Thanks buddy!” he thanked him moving his head to the beat of the music. ‘I am not your buddy, damn it’ he thought and he felt how he was starting to sweat into his designer suit because the stupid hall was bloody hot. They obviously still didn’t have air condition. Stupid dump!

 

Apparently someone had thought they had been incredibly creative and cute because all the alcohol was put into bowls like the punch back on prom and Ethan found himself scooping beer out o a glass bowl into a plastic cup, could it get more gross and cheap and just urgh! He hated this place, he hated it so much, he hated all about it, he was getting mad and in his fury about the beer in the bowl – like who did this that was disgusting -, that there apparently was no whiskey and the plastic cups he didn’t realise that the cup was full and overflowing and next thing he knew the beer was flowing over his hand, onto his suit and dripping down on the table. “Shit!” He hissed, looked at himself, placed the cup onto the table and blindly grabbed a napkin when his hand touched another man’s hand. “Sorry.”Ethan mumbled before he lifted his head and turned towards the man whose hand he had grabbed before and his heart was stopping.

 

He looked different but there was no mistaking! Those eyes, that face, he knew this face, he knew this man, he had not forgotten how he had looked like and his heart started to beat again just so loud and so fast that he thought everyone must be able to hear it. Ethan’s hands were starting to get all sweaty and his hazel eyes were staring into his former best friends face and he was dumbfounded at running into him like this. He had not expected to see him. Even if the other was there he wouldn’t have thought to meet him amongst all those people. His stomach was getting unsettled as he just looked at the other man. They were so close he could smell his scent and this scent he had always liked made his mind go even blanker and got his heart to pound even heavier.

 

Fuck he was hot! He was even more attractive than back then and even after all those years this was happening to him because of him. Why? Why did he have to run into him? Why in such a moment and why was this man so handsome and hot and still made him feel this way? Ethan realised that he was starring like an idiot and had to say something at least. He was fighting hard to swallow the lump in his throat and he was starting to sweat even more before he managed an awkward looking smile. “Hi!” he pressed out, biting his bottom lip, turned to the table and took the two plastic cups to have something to keep his hands occupied with. “You’re looking good.” The red head complimented him endeavour to sound casual and unsuspicious about it. “Are you here alone? I’m here with Jake.”Ethan said and he wanted to sink into the ground for his shitty conversation and saying that he was there with fucking Jake Meyer! Then again he kinda was after all.

[Ayakashiu]

Appearance:

 

Name: Aaron Wilson

Age: 34 years

Height: 1,74m

Hair color: Grey

Eye color: Blue

Occupation: Writer, Public Librarian

Biography: Aaron was born into a typical middle-class family. His parents were religious, so he and his younger brother were raised accordingly. His first love were comics and he shared that passion with his childhood best friend, Ethan Cornwell. They were inseparable, spending most of their time either playing video games or reading comics. Even in high school, when Aaron started to take interest in girls, most of his relationships ended prematurely because of his tight bond with Ethan. He just enjoyed himself more with his best friend, than he did with other girls. That was, until Ethan disappeared right after the graduating ceremony, leaving behind a baffled Aaron.

 

It was hard getting over the lost friendship. At first, he thought something happened to Ethan, but his parents told him he ran away. He did everything he could think of to get in touch with his friend, but he soon ran out of options. Aaron didn’t want to admit to himself he was left behind at first, but as the realization sunk in, anger replaced the hurt. He came to terms with the fact, that he was the only one who thought they were best friends. Ethan obviously didn’t care as much about him, severing their connection like this.

 

In college, he found his second love – books. He still loved comics and video games, but reading about all the other worlds and amazing adventures, offered him an escape from reality. Soon he tried himself in writing and realized that was something he wants to do in life. His family protested at first, since his books weren’t appropriate by their standards, but in the end decided to still stand by him. With a bit of luck, Aaron’s first book sold relatively well and he managed to buy his own place. He decided to stay in his hometown, helping in the town’s public library when he wasn’t working on a new book. He made sure that it was better stacked with comics and fantasy books, than it was when he was still a student and the school kids loved him for that.

 

Life settled and he was now friends with his former schoolmates. After college people changed and Aaron found himself getting along relatively well with people, who used to bully him at school. He never made any other friends like Ethan or got into a serious relationship, but he preferred it that way. An evening at home with a good book far outweighed any other company for Aaron.

---

 

Aaron lifted his hands in the air, stretching his aching back. He just finished his last book and sent it to be proofread, looking forward to having more free time now, to catch up on his hobbies. He loved writing, but as the process neared the end, it was always so hectic and tiring. Sometimes the pressure of catching the deadline made him question why he even started writing, but it was all worth it in the end.

 

He drank the remnants of his coffee, that was now cold, but the light-haired man knew he will need the caffeine in his system tonight. He entertained the idea of staying home, reading the newest issue of his favorite superhero comic, he just got his hands on, but he knew that people will notice his absence. It seemed that his former schoolmates, now friends, got used to Aaron’s hobbies and mostly didn’t bother him about it, but he knew they still found him a bit weird.

 

Dragging his feet to the bathroom, Aaron took a quick shower and towel-dried his hair. It resulted in his hair looking messy, but he was only going to a high school reunion where he knew everyone, so he didn’t waste time with making himself look nice. He pulled on his favorite black jeans and a comfortable dark shirt, deciding this was as formal as he needs to be for tonight.

 

At the ripe age of 34, he was one of the rare single people amongst his friends. Most were already married and with kids, so Aaron had to endure their proding about him getting himself a girlfriend. Somehow everyone thought it was their duty, to introduce him to his wife-to-be of their choice. It wasn’t that the light-haired male wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend, it was just that most of them were too high maintenance for Aaron or didn’t share his hobbies. He preferred to be alone, than having to suffer through that. Occasional hook-up took care of his physical needs and that was all that he needed. But tonight everyone will gather and he will need to listen to all the nagging about his relationship status again. He knew that his friends were just worried about him, but it was still exhausting to deal with. Living in a small town like this, everyone was raised to get a job, get a family and live happily ever after. No one understood Aaron pictured his happily ever after rather differently.

 

It was chilly as Aaron made his way to the high school, where the reunion was taking place. For a moment, he regretted not taking a jacket, but he knew the hall will get hot, filled with that many people and a jacket would just be a nuisance. He hummed to himself, while hurrying along the illuminated road. He made enough money with his books, that he could afford a place in the town’s center, not that a real estate in a small town like this costed all that much. But he liked having everything in walking distance and he liked having his privacy even more, living away from his family. His parent’s house was located more on the outskirts of the town and Aaron would need to drive a car to work in the library, if he stayed there, which seemed like another burden. Again, his family only grudgingly accepted another one of his peculiar life choices. Luckily for him, they had another son who was basically everything they could wish for, so Aaron was let off the hook fairly easily.

 

When he arrived, the school hall was almost full of people and for a moment, he just stood with his hands in the pockets and watched the crowd. Familiar faces nodded greetings towards him and he smiled back at them. He noticed movement in the corner of his eye and when he turned to look, he saw an excited looking Jake waving him over. He noticed Charlene next to him and decided he needed a drink before dealing with the former cheerleader. She was desperately trying to get a man and Aaron was her usual target, being one of the rare bachelors still left in town. That in itself wouldn’t be too bad, but she just didn’t take no for an answer and she always aggressively flirted with Aaron, making him uncomfortable. He hoped a day, when she finds someone else to hit on, will come soon. He only had so much patience to politely turn her down.

 

He threw his head back and made a gesture like he’s drinking, then pointed towards the buffet table. Before either one of his former schoolmates could reply, Aaron got lost in the crowd, wading through the bodies towards the refreshments.

 

He neared the table just as a man in an expensive looking suit managed to spill the beer all over himself. Aaron smiled a little and reached towards the napkins to pass them to the stranger, at the same time that the man reached for them. For a moment, the stranger grabbed his hand and that was the moment when Aaron recognized him. There weren’t many people with bright red hair like that and no one from the town, so Aaron cursed himself inwardly for not noticing it earlier. The evening just turned from mildly annoying to downright infuriating. The blue-eyed man couldn’t believe his former friend’s insolence. Suddenly disappearing all those years ago without a word and thinking he could just come back like this. The anger he thought was gone, flared up again even hotter.

 

The worst part though, was that Ethan acted like nothing happened between them. Like he didn’t just leave Aaron behind, as a used toy that wasn’t interesting to play with anymore. He thought he was going to explode and he imagined how good it would feel to hit his former friend. But that would cause a commotion and light-haired male didn’t feel like dealing with that. Ethan didn’t deserve him caring anyway.

 

He took a deep breath before replying, his words laced with anger. “You look good too, Ethan. Guess ditching us, enabled you to get far in life.” It was the truth; his former friend did look good. The suit fitted him well and it looked elegant, his hair looked groomed and he gave off an aura of superiority. It made Aaron feel dishelved, with his simple attire and messy hair. The fact that Ethan made him feel this way, just fueled his anger even more. He reached for a cup forcefully, filling it with beer. A temptation to throw it in the other’s face overcame him for a moment, but he resisted. The fact that his former friend came with Jake Meyer of all people, stung. As far as he remembered, Jake was one of the lead bullies that used to bother the two nerds and Aaron couldn’t believe Ethan would search him out before him. It made their whole friendship look fake. Maybe that’s what it really was and he was the only one thinking they were true friends.

 

“Well then, I won’t keep you from Jake any longer, I’m sure you want to catch up with him.” He turned away, deciding where to go. He needed something stronger and Patrick Brown always brought some real booze to gatherings like this. Aaron decided he will try finding him and see if he can drink himself in oblivion tonight. And if not, he was pretty sure he had some whiskey somewhere at home. In any case, he should stay away from Ethan, before he does something stupid.

[-Hideki-]

His hazel eyes were glued on his former best friend Aaron Wilson and he took in the appearance of the man he had not seen since so many years and who was yet so familiar and mesmerising to him. Those clear, bright blue eyes behind his glasses, the high cheekbones, incredibly pale silver hair and white skin. How messy his hair was and how the handsome man had apparently refused to dress up for such an occasion unlike the other entire town’s people who deemed this a special occasion. The lean and slim figure, wiry, like he was a runner or something! His heart was pounding so hard that he could feel the vibrations and the bass in his entire body and warmth was building in the pit of his stomach seeing how the man still carried himself, this apathy and refusal to make a fuss about what the towns people were excited about. Hadn’t it been the same with prom and the graduation celebration? He had already found that attractive back then.

 

Gosh, that celebration! The ginger had felt melancholic and nostalgic with a heavy heart the whole time during the graduation ceremony and party. Whenever he had looked at Aaron his heart had raced like crazy and he had smiled and at the same time he had had a lump in his throat and felt sadness since he had known what he’d be doing in the early morning hours and that this was the last day he’d spent with him. The last day he’d see his handsome face and the ‘don’t care’ attitude and messy hair. He had wanted to tell him how handsome he had found him, how much he meant to him, that he was in love with him but it had been obvious that he wouldn’t and couldn’t do that. And when the other had joked around and had smiled at him that widely he had just sat there and smiled back despite the internal unease.

 

The picture of Wilson’s smiling face on his mind was shattered by the man in his thirties who was standing in front of him and that man did everything but to smile at him and the ocean eyes were displaying anger, his voice was full of blame and accusatory, his features hard, cold but there was something else swinging in it and that was hurt. Aaron’s voice was as if a dagger had been stabbed into his stomach and Ethan’s hazel eyes widened when the other told him that he looked good too and that ditching them apparently had enabled him to get far in life. When the initial shock had ebbed off his eyebrows narrowed. His former best friend had used plural! ‘Ditching US’ he had said. ‘Us’ like, including the school bullies, his parents, the priest, the cows on the fields…. It was safe to say that ditching all of that had enabled him to get far in life and had been necessary and healing and had saved him from alcoholism, unhappiness and getting mentally ill. Why would the other blame him for leaving this shit behind! He didn’t owe those pieces of garbage anything! There was grudge and rage starting to rise up in him as he was thinking about that but he was thrown out of that once more by the voice of his friend that had gotten even sharper.

 

In that moment Aaron reminded him of the rattle snake he had once found in the garden back in his parent’s home. He had been curious and had made a step forward and the snake had found it too close, had felt cornered and gotten scared so it had hissed and used its rattle and the red head had stepped away from it instinctively knowing that it’d bite him would he approach further. And his friend was hissing at him in the same way, warningly, although not due to fear and feeling cornered but fury.

 

He took a deep breath and let his head sink for moment, his expression showing a little sadness on it and this was hurting more than his parents looking at him as if he was scum that led the planet to damnation in the local grocery store. Then again saying that he was there with Jake, as if he had come into the town for shits and giggles after all those years and had reached out to his bully instead of his old friend had been stupid but he had not known what to say, he had not thought about it and now he was facing Wilson’s back and the man seemed eager to get away from him. But despite the other’s warning hiss and the dismissive behaviour Ethan lifted his head and made a step forward.

 

“Hold on!” he exclaimed. “Wait!” he called out, quickly placed the plastic cups back onto the table and grabbed Aaron’s shoulder turning him around. The moment his hand touched the other man’s body his hand started to prickle and small sparks of electricity were running through him and he was unable to breath for a moment. This was still like that as well as it seemed…. Had he never stopped feeling like this for him? Had he just put those feelings on pause or brought distance between them while they had always remained? It was impossible and yet it was definite.

 

Since middle-school! Since middle-school he had felt drawn to him, attracted to him as if they were magnets and every time their bodies had touched, he had inhaled his nice and tempting smell it had invoked that feeling within him and the urge to be close, to touch him more, touch him differently and it had been pure torture! There had been a lot of touch! Seemingly casual but what Aaron apparently had not seen as anything or any deal at all, free from any meaning had affected Ethan. When his friend had hung his arm around his shoulder, they had jostled or shoved each other, or some touch had just happened while they had been gaming on the sofa, every small bit of touch had lit a flame in the ginger and pain at the same time since he knew that Aaron had not felt the same way about him, that he had not even been aware, that if he had gotten aware he might have called him an abomination, spat at him and would have jumped up and would have been out of his life forever, quitting the friendship.

 

He would have never told him. How could he have said it? That he had been gay and had been in love with him on top of that? It had seemed impossible at that time. Hence he had tried his best to hide it all those years, had endured the pain, the shame and the suffering it had cost him to stay the silver haired male’s friend at least. When they had jostled too much and the body contact had been too intense Ethan had gotten hard and had had to hide his boner from his friend. So he had quite a few times sat next to him on the sofa with a pillow in his lap while continuing to play games saying that he wanted to place his arms onto the pillow for the purpose of comfort and that was why he had taken it. His friend had seemed oblivious towards the mere idea that the red head could have been into him.

 

Then there had been that time in the water park in the neighbour town where he had gotten an erection while looking at his friend’s body, the water running over the chest and abdomen tracing the muscles, the wet silver hair falling into his pale face and the bathing shorts that had been snug from the water and seeing the other’s hot arse and the hint of his cock had made his imagination run wild and next thing he knew his dick was standing, throbbing and aching in his wet bathing shorts while they had been sitting on the blanket on the grass looking towards the pool. Good thing had been that his friend had stared at some chicks in their bikinis, commenting their bodies and had gotten the same physical reaction. However that too had been a double edged sword because while he had been relieved that the other had not noticed his boner and if he had had thought it had been because of the ladies too, it had hurt him that he didn’t have any eyes for him at all and had just looked at those girls and that his friend didn’t get an erection for him but for those damn females.

 

And had he stayed in town they’d still be like this. Sure he wasn’t as overly sensitive and easy to excite anymore but the fundament would still be the same. He’d be closeted, dying inside and the other would not notice. Thinking about that made him remember why he had decided to not tell Aaron about where he’d gone to. Why he had decided that it would be best for the both of them if it ended because it couldn’t have worked. Because he couldn’t have been his friend without it crippling him and it would probably have disappointed or disgusted Wilson to hear that he had had a crush on him and had been seeing him in the same way the other man had looked at women, with desire and attraction.

 

“You’re right, I owe Y O U and explanation!” he said, his throat feeling tight and it was still hard to breath for him. “I however owe nothing to those shitheads and this stupid town.” The red head said and he was getting nervous and the shirt under the suit jacket was getting soaked in his sweat. “I had to leave. You are right it did me well and I am not talking about my success and my money but my mental health here.” The red head said. “It probably doesn’t seem fair to you that I didn’t say anything to you and I didn’t mean to hurt you but …” he tried to swallow the lump but it was stuck. “… it was for the best of both of us you can trust me on that!” Cornwell stated and his face looked stern and he closed his eyes, sighed and then took his hand from the shorter male’s shoulder.

 

“The Jake Meyer thing also isn’t what it seems. We aren’t friends.” He stated. “It’s more like an unfortunate coincidence. I didn’t plan to ever come back here, for you to ever have to run into me again. Trust me I would rather be home with my goldfish than be here right now and I didn’t want to attend this party either. But the company I work for – it’s in New York, I live in Manhattan and that’s where I have gone to back then, to a friend and lover I knew over the internet – has this project to built several new housing complexes over here and they assigned it to me, I have to manage it. That’s why I am here. As soon as I am done I promise I will leave again, I hadn’t even suspected to see you while I am here but I apparently have forgotten how it goes in a small town. Work is where I ran into Jake and Charlene too. Jake has a small construction company as you know and my company was obligated to hire local craft enterprises too as it was stated in the contract with the town. They both insisted I’d go to this reunion and I want to keep my stay here as professional as possible so I, well… I am here aren’t I?” he explained to the other with an awkward chuckle. “What are you doing nowadays?” he asked because it interested him.

 

Then he remembered the fury in Aaron’s eyes and the hiss and he exhaled hearable. “Nevermind, I won’t bother you any longer.” Ethan said. “It was nice to see you, really, I mean it. Maybe you want to come over so we could talk…..” he suggested and then realised how stupid it was. “Of course you wouldn’t… sorry…” he just took back up the two beers, his eyes searching for Meyer somewhere in the crowd.

[Ayakashiu]

Aaron wasn’t sure why he thought his friend would just let him leave and think things through in peace. A hand on his shoulder whirled him around and he didn’t resist. He never imagined he would be so hurt by Ethan’s mere appearance. He was an adult now and sure, they used to be best friends, but high-school friendships often end, either because people go to different colleges or because they change and grow up. This encounter made him realize that he was just pushing the matter in the back of his mind, trying to forget his friend instead of getting over him.

 

This situation wasn’t something he could deal with in this crowded place. There were so many questions running through his brain as he listened to him talk, but at the same time he just wanted to get away from the other, from everyone. Because the person standing in front of him, wasn’t his best friend. He looked different and acted different too. Aaron couldn’t pinpoint it, but something definitely changed about Ethan. On the other hand, hearing his voice made Aaron feel like crying from relief.

 

Even when they were still kids, Aaron always relied on his best friend. He could tell him everything and count on his advice. Ethan was bullied more, often because he was protecting Aaron and that wasn’t something he forgot. His friend was always so strong, like nothing could get to him, while the light-haired male always relented under the will of his parents or the bullies. It wasn’t that he was weak per se, but Aaron always had an easygoing character and he preferred to avoid conflicts. It was why he was content with his life as it was; he endured some socializing and came to a few events so people could see him, but most of the time he just enjoyed doing what he loved at home, by himself.

 

Even in high-school - the girls he dated or extracurricular activities in which he participated, he only did those things so his parents deemed him normal and allowed him to do things he actually liked. For Aaron it seemed like a good compromise and it enabled him to spend all of his free time with Ethan. For him, he would gladly do even more. His best friend in front of whom he didn’t need to pretend and who understood him better than anyone else. Or at least that was what he believed. The fact that the other left, without even saying a word, showed things in a different light.

 

The light-haired male felt lost, abandoned and so alone after graduation. But the worst was the guilt. Aaron felt guilty, for not noticing something was up and worried that something bad happened to his best friend. He should be there for him, like Ethan always was, but he failed. Only after a while did those feelings made way for even more negative ones. Disappointment, for being left behind and anger, for leaving without a word. The feelings that now threatened to consume him.

 

The explanation he was listening to, didn’t calm him down. It seemed too little. He wanted Ethan to apologize and to try to convince him to be his friend again, but all he got was a vague clarification. The fact that his friend didn’t want to return, but was forced too, made things even worse. So Aaron was just a nuisance and his former friend was just keeping things ‘professional’, by trying to calm him down? Could it really be that the other didn’t care about their friendship at all? Could Aaron be the only one that thought it was more, than it actually was? Well, he could be ‘professional’ too.

 

“Yes, I do not think it was fair of you to do what you did. I actually cared about you and when you just disappeared..I was so worried.” His voice cracked a little at the last words that escaped him, so he pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, trying to focus. “But don’t say you know it was better like that for both of us. I’m capable of deciding what’s best for me by myself, thank you very much.” The last words were laced with irony, behind which the light-haired man wanted to hide what he was really feeling. Ethan’s explanation wasn’t clear, but Aaron was sure that the mental health his former friend was referring to, was somehow connected to his parents and their religion. He could understand that, because he saw how they acted when their son disappeared.

 

The lover that was mentioned was also new information for the smaller man. He didn’t remember Ethan having any girlfriends before, but clearly his friend just didn’t tell him everything. Aaron was the only one who confided in the other and it was another hit for him. How could he misjudge their relationship so badly?

 

But he refused to make drama, so he continued in what he hoped was a collected voice, “I’m sorry to hear you were forced to return, but the town did change since you left, so I hope you will be able to enjoy your stay with us.” The way he initially reacted was childish, Aaron was aware of that, but he can deal with this as an adult. Avoid dealing with problems until they disappear, don’t adults do that? So he pretended he wasn’t upset or hurt anymore, putting on a show for the people around them, who were listening in. He will let the anger and hurt out when he will be home alone, but right now, he needed to show people the calm and collected Aaron they knew from the library.

 

“It was nice seeing you too. We should really grab a drink and talk some, catch up.” Aaron even managed a small smile, saying all this just to be polite. He saw Ethan search for his new co-worker with his eyes, so he added, “I should let you return to Meyer now; I’m sure he’s all fired up about this project and wants to talk to you.” He just hoped his former friend would leave already so he can be alone and get drunk. Another way adults use to solve their problems, right?

[-Hideki-]

His hands clenched into fists when he heard Aaron speak. What he said now angered him beyond believe. Saying that he had actually cared implying Ethan had not cared and that he had been all so worried about him riled him up inside and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing there. All those damn years Cornwell had put Aaron’s needs before his own! Had given him advice, had even comforted him when a girl had ditched him, had been there whenever the other had had a problem, he had been concerned about how he had been feeling, how he had been doing. The red head had done everything to make him smile again when he had been sad, he had cheered him up, had wanted to see him happy even if it had meant getting hurt in the process and now Wilson was telling him he had been the one actually caring and the ginger had not?

 

It was almost ironic and if it had not made him that damn mad he would have laughed at this. Aaron had never asked how he had been feeling back then, he had just assumed he had been okay, he had never even looked close enough to notice the pain and the suffering he had endured. He had not realised anything! Any of what had been so obvious had he only looked close enough once and had not been too busy with himself and those bloody girls. The silver haired had no right to tell him that he had been the one who had actually cared and not Ethan. And what was that about having been worried sick about him when he had disappeared? He had never worried about him before had he! So he had had to disappear without a word for Aaron to worry and Wilson was giving himself credit for it too. Wonderful! How had he even been supposed to know that he’d worry? He had assumed he’d be pissed, maybe disappointed but worried? He hadn’t been worried about him when he had sat right next to him suffering so why worry about him when he had been gone?

 

The remark about him knowing best what was best for him only made him snort and he just shook his head and crossed his arms and when the other man told him that the town had changed and he hoped he enjoyed the stay there Ethan laughed and snorted at the same time! A few new stores and buildings didn’t mean the town had changed. It was the same old town he had left. Same priest, same church, same people, same mindset. It had not change and wouldn’t but what did Aaron know about this, they weren’t talking about him when they ranted about how gay men would go to hell, how it was sinful and how they should be punished, how they were abominations and needed to be cured, so why the hell would he care! Maybe he even agreed with that stand, who knew.

 

And then there was the 180° turn in attitudes the man made and it was too much, too nice, too jolly so one could see that it was 100% faked in that moment. No one could switch moods that drastically that quickly about the same subject. “Too much! You should have tamed it down a little would have made it more believable.” Ethan commented dryly shaking his head, holding the beer in hand then he laughed and it sounded like a hiss. “You said that you have actually cared ? When? I was the one there for you, listening to you, helping you out. I was the one concerned about how you were feeling and doing, I wanted to see you happy. You on the other hand didn’t see anything and you didn’t ask anything. And I don’t think that getting worried when your best friend disappears is actually a sign of how much you cared because it needed me to disappear for you to care and ask yourself anything about me.” The ginger spoke and he was not finished yet.

 

“You say that only you know what is best for you! But to evaluate that you’d have to know all factors to consider them. And you are lacking two essential ones.” The man explained and grinned. “So in this situation you can’t possibly know what was best for you.” Cornwell informed the other. “And what if it only was best for me and irrelevant for you as it didn’t make your life any worse but saved mine? Why would that be so bad for you? Because you only care about your own feelings, your own life and what is ideal to yourself. As long as you could have me as your buddy and the one to hear the stories of those stupid bitches you are into, who cares about me and if I would have to rot inside in the process, right.” He spoke and took a deep breath, letting his hand run through his red hair as he was thinking about why he had acted that secretive about this now again. He was back in the town but they couldn’t harm him anymore, he wasn’t living there anymore, he didn’t have to hide because they held no power over him anymore. And he was not ashamed of being gay either. The man was actually out of the closet and everyone knew back at home in New York. This town couldn’t hold him down anymore and he refused to make him feel that he had to hide himself, as if he had to feel guilty or ashamed about who he was again. He had gone through that until he had left and he didn’t want to go through that again.

 

“But since you have been oblivious to everything but want to know for yourself what was best for you in this regards I might as well tell you. This stupid town and that scum in it can’t harm me anymore. If I have to face repercussions and one of them attacks me physically I will sue their bigoted, small minded arses into oblivion!” he barked. He could and he would. If he would get harassed for being gay he would also quit the project, return to New York, tell his boss who was bisexual and married to a man who would get it what had happened, and leave the project in that town to their most incompetent worker of their company instead.

 

Taking another deep breath to calm himself he closed his eyes to find his composure again. “I’m gay.” He told Aaron, his voice clear and unyielding. “I’ve been in love with you since middle school.” The red head confessed and a pained laugh escaped him. “The lover I told you about was a male too. He was in his late thirties back then and I was online friends with him. Our relationship just got physical after I moved into his apartment in New York. I also left a letter for my parents that stated that I had left and went to a friend’s place in New York, it also explained why I had left and that I am gay. So I was under the impression that if you had cared you could have gone to my parents and asked them and would have heard I was safe in New York and didn’t have to worry at all.” The ginger told him, then he shook his head.

 

“I don’t give a flying fuck about Meyer Aaron! He is an arsehole and I can’t stand his guts. All of them are arseholes and I have not forgotten or forgiven anything!” Ethan stated, turned around, shoved himself through the crowd with the beer and placed himself next to Jake, pressing a beer into his hand. “That took a while man but thanks.” Meyer said and took a sip before the blond started to speak further. “Charlene went to the bathroom, said she wanted to refresh herself for you. She’s totally into you. You have great chances of getting laid tonight mate.” Jake told him and Ethan threw down the beer in one gulp, squashed the plastic cup and threw it into a rubbish bin before he turned towards his new colleague and former bully with a confrontational gaze and a stern face. “I’m gay! Got it! I love men! I don’t care about Charlene alright!” the red head stated and it felt satisfying, really satisfying and he was ready to counter the punch or the push of whatever Jake would do now.

 

“Alright bro, cool, cool. I got it.” The man just said nodding and everything fell out of Ethan’s face. Jake Meyer had tortured that younger guy from the chess club because he had only assumed he had been gay. He had written ‘faggot’ onto his forehead with permanent marker after he had stuck his head into the toilet and the boy’s father had beaten him at home as a punishment because the kids at school thought his son was gay what he blamed his son for. “What!” Ethan asked barking. “I said it’s totally cool. If you’re happy, I’m happy bro.” He repeated and the ginger lost it, he took Jake by his collar and pulled him down towards himself. “What the fuck is wrong with you, you piece of shit! You have made my life a living hell, you have beaten me up and now you are acting as if we have been friends and now this! You have been an awful homophobic brute and I was terrified that you and your friend’s would drown me in the toilet and beat me into hospital if you found out back then, every single day, I was terrified. And now you are like ‘cool’, ‘that’s fine bro’? Are you kidding me!?” he said and Jake patted the hand on his collar.

 

Jake looked apologetically. “Listen buddy, I know that I was awful back then and I have done a lot of mean things and I should have treated you better. I was an arsehole back then and I am ashamed of it, believe me. I am sorry, I apologise.” Jake said and Ethan’s eyes widened. “You what?” he wanted to hear that again just to be clear that he had not heard wrong. “I apologise.” Jake repeated holding his hands up showing him he was peaceful. “You know, I have a son, he is everything to me and since my wife died we only have each other and my son, he is different from other boys. He is really feminine and he plays dress-up and he has puppets and likes to dance. And I never cared, I loved my son how he was. I don’t know if he’ll turn out gay, bi or straight or he is actually a girl or something and I don’t care but when he turned six three years ago and got into primary school he came back crying, with mud all over his clothing, gum in his hair and he said he’d never go to school again. The other kids tortured him and it broke my heart you see and I realised that I have been like this to you and Aaron Wilson and other nerdy kids or that effeminate boy from chess club. And I see my kid suffer because of people who are like I have been back in school and I hear people coming up to me saying that I have done everything wrong with my son, that he is just generally wrong, that I should beat the demons out of him, that he will go to hell because he wore a dress when we went to the grocery store. It hurts, I know now.” the former football player said and the red head let go of him and turned away.

 

“Where are you going?” Jake asked. “Outside! I need to get out of this place and think how even someone like you can turn out to be a better parent than my parents are, although I’m feeling glad for your son. “ Ethan stated and Jake attempted to follow. “Don’t follow me!” he growled and disappeared through the door. Once outside he took a deep breath and placed himself onto the stairs of the entrance, looked up into the dark sky and lit a cigarette.

[Ayakashiu]

His words weren’t received like he hoped they would be. Instead of ending this awkward reunion, they only made things worse. Even as Aaron was speaking, his friend snorted and shook his head, which was annoying to say in the least. Why the hell couldn’t his former friend just get that it was not the time nor place for this? The light-haired male didn’t care much about people’s opinion, but he knew they would harass him when Ethan leaves and he will be left alone to explain everything again! There will be no peace for him and he worked too hard until now to achieve it, for it to be shattered again.

 

Aaron realized it would be better if he didn’t say anything; his outburst at the beginning and then him trying to fix it by being polite, only prompted his former friend to go off. And he did go off with a bang.

 

First, Aaron thought how unfair it was for the other to say he only ever cared for himself. Yes, he did confide in his best friend and always seek his help, but it was only because he trusted him that much. He never confided into anyone else as he did in Ethan. And if his friend wanted to do the same, Aaron would be there for him, but he always got the feeling that it made the ginger uncomfortable, if he was prodding too much. He figured the other just didn’t have petty problems like he himself did and that he will tell him, if something was truly bothering him.

 

Second, his former friend acted all superior, telling him he didn’t have all the facts. Well whose fault was that in the first place?! If he thought that his departure didn’t make Aaron’s life any worse, he didn’t have all the facts either. What he was saying didn’t make any sense!

 

The light-haired male wanted to cut in, saying he got it all wrong, but what he heard next shut him up completely. Not the part that his best friend was gay; that actually made sense, if Aaron would have time to think about it. It certainly explained a lot of things. But the second part shocked him to the core. He wasn’t sure he heard right, so it took a moment for the words to sink in and Aaron’s brain to process them. He didn’t really follow what was happening around him after that.

 

The townspeople around them, who were obviously listening in on their conversation, faded into the background, the light-haired male not caring about them anymore. The words ‘letter’ and ‘parents’ tugged at his brain, seeming important, but they couldn’t break the haze Aaron seemed to be in. He couldn’t comprehend the simple fact his best friend felt like this about him. And since middle school? That was almost all of their time as best friends! So how come he didn’t notice?

 

Aaron’s inability to react enabled his former friend to storm off through the crowd. The light-haired male didn’t know how long he stood there, rooted to the spot, but suddenly there were bodies bumping into him, the crowd moving in one direction. Something was happening and since nothing ever happened in a town like this, everyone wanted to see. Aaron felt like he was on auto pilot, his body moving by itself towards the commotion through the gathered mass of people. He managed to squeeze to the front line, just as Meyer was apologizing to his former friend.

 

Jake Meyer apologized to him too a few years back, just as he was having a rough patch with his son, who hid from bullies in the library. Aaron found him and together they wrote a story about a fabulous white horse named Mr. Unicorn, who was bullied by other horses, because they were jealous that he’s prettier than them. It was the only thing Aaron could think of, to cheer up the small boy and it worked. That’s how Jake found them and he never forgot about it. The writer often used Mr. Unicorn when he had to deal with kids at the library and they seemed to love him. A day later, the former bully took him out to have a few drinks and apologized at length. Ever since then, the two were getting along fairly well and the memory always made Aaron smile.

 

But right now, the memory didn’t evoke any feelings. As his former friend disappeared outside, apparently in a foul mood, Aaron approached Meyer, his body still moving on its own. “Are you ok?” The former bully looked at him funnily, before replying, “Yeah, yeah. It’s not like I didn’t deserve that. I did give you guys a lot of hell back in school. But are you alright? You’re so pale, like you’ve just seen a ghost!” He shut up awkwardly, probably realizing Aaron had a similar encounter with Ethan too. Another voice chimed in. “Maybe you should go out, get some fresh air, hon. Want me to go with you?” Charlene was obviously back and the light-haired male suddenly felt drained. He couldn’t keep this up tonight, so he replied rougher than usual, “No, thanks. I’m just gonna go home.” He turned without waiting for a reply, not seeing the surprised faces of his fellow townspeople that followed him out.

 

Still in a haze, he didn’t think it would be better to use the back entrance and as he exited the building, he almost tripped over his former friend on the stairs. Now that they were finally alone, the repressed anger that was building up inside him, lashed out. “Cornwell, you idiot! Who do you think you are, coming here and acting all high and mighty? You think you’re better than us, because you have a fancy life and a fancy job now?” Aaron was almost shouting, but he didn’t care. “You suddenly reappear, saying you were forced to return and then blow up, saying all those things, not even giving a thought to how I might feel! Who’s the selfish one here?! Don’t blame everything on me; you were the coward who ran away without a word!” The smaller male felt like he ran a marathon, breathing deeply after this little outburst. He wanted to say so much more, but instead he slumped down on the stairs, hiding his head in his hands as he felt tears gather in his eyes, his voice breaking when he whispered, “If you were really in love with me, how could you just leave me like that?”

[-Hideki-]

Thousand of thoughts were rushing through his head in high-speed and discombobulated and he was trying to sort them and calm them down but he never got the time to do this. He had just pulled on his cigarette when the door was torn open and he just heard the old massive wood slam against the stone wall and it would be a wonder if that door didn’t need to be taken care of now after that or it would make the school look even more rundown and ancient. Feeling the presence of a person standing behind him a shadow was laying itself over him but he didn’t turn to see who it was, he could tell the person was angry but he didn’t even care, he just stared straight ahead trying to get a grip on what had just happened. It all had happened so fast like a quick moment, a flash of light, a short scene! The red head couldn’t even gasp it just now, it felt somehow surreal even.

 

A voice was suddenly yelling at him giving away who the man was who had nearly stumbled over him. It was Aaron and he was even more furious than he had been before. Ethan however just felt numb inside at the moment and he kept smoking his cigarette, silent, not doing anything and all the accusations and the rage just seemed to bounce off on him as if he was wearing a magic armour or a force field was protecting him like in the video games he was still playing just as enthusiastically as back then when he had been a teenager at age thirty-four. And it indeed was a protective mechanism. One that had established itself really early on in his life! When the tirades of his parents had been too hurtful he had gone numb inside and their voices had become faint and distant and he had not been able to hear their hateful words anymore, at least it wasn’t like that again right now. But the numbness was back. He had not felt that numb since he had left that place and now he was one day back in town and there it was again.

 

Just a snort was leaving his lips when he heard the other calling him a coward for having left without informing him and he closed his hazel eyes and shook his head. Then he pressed out the cigarette onto the stairs and then got up from the floor, still not turning around to the other, letting him face his back still. “You don’t know anything Aaron.” His voice said rather coldly and distantly. “You can’t possibly know about what I have been through. How it is to be gay in a shithole like that. So shut your loud mouth about stuff that you have no idea about before you call people a coward whose experiences you can’t comprehend in a million years down from your high horse that being born straight has given you will you! You never had to be brave or courageous but you call me a coward how entitled can one be.” the ginger said in a calm tone. “What do you know about how it feels to have your parents tell you that people like you will burn in hell and deserve eternal suffering, that they should get punished for their abnormal sexual behaviour, that they were possessed by gay demons who led them onto the wrong path, that cure and exorcism was needed, referring to them as criminals against their god? Calling people like you disgusting! Openly celebrating their hate! And you know that your own parents, they hate you too, they are disgusted by you. And it’s not only your parents; it’s the majority of town that thinks along those lines and those who don’t shut up and look away. You have no idea. It never affected you, you aren’t gay Aaron.” Ethan spoke and stared into the nothingness while he was automatically without any thought lighting another cigarette, exhaling the smoke into the night. “But yes, how dare I leave that wonderful, welcoming, loving place.” He mocked sarcastically.

 

He could hear the other sink down onto the stairs behind him and he felt his voice break, the way his voice had always broken when he was about to cry and hearing this made his heart sting. Wilson didn’t lash out again, he wasn’t yelling at him anymore and the next thing he heard from him was a nearly whispered question. His voice now the complete opposite from before, so faint and vulnerable and breakable but he could still hear it clearly.

It was hurting him to hear the other sound like this, knowing he was about to cry, it had always hurt him when Aaron had felt hurt, he had always wanted to comfort him and to protect him and he had the same urge now, just as his feelings for him had never ceased.

 

If he had loved him, why he had left him he asked. Cornwell chuckled, taking another pull from his cigarette then turning around to the other man who was sitting on the stairs now. “Because I couldn’t bear it anymore! The pain, I mean.” Ethan answered as if there wasn’t anything more obvious. “Just being your friend was crippling me inside and it would have continued to cripple me. I would have never gotten happy or been able to see something else with you in front of me. And I knew just how hopeless it was, that you would never return my feelings. Never love me. You wanted to be my friend but I couldn’t be your friend. I wanted to be more than that for you, I wanted to be closer but that was as close as I got.” The man said.

 

“Every time you spoke about those girls you had a crush on, every time I saw you looking at them it felt like you were stabbing me in the chest or hitting my head with a pan as hard as you could, that’d probably hurt less. It made two things really clear, that you didn’t love me, you wouldn’t love and you couldn’t ever love me and it made me feel dead inside!” the ginger let Aaron know, then a laugh escaped him. “You know, whenever some girl rejected you or broke your heart I thought, I’d never do that to him, I’d treat him a lot better, I’d cherish him, I’d make him happy, I’d never hurt him like that and still he won’t ever even see me or consider me. I’d gross him out if he knew.” Ethan told him looking rather absent as he was smoking his cigarette.

 

“What good would it have done had I told you before I left? That you’d be disappointed about me, felt led on by an abomination, that you would have wished you’d never let me get close to you, felt dirtied? Would you have wanted to insult me, tell me what I have heard people say about men like myself all my life another time and hurt me because I’d know that the man I loved was thinking just as lowly about me as the rest of the town and my own parents? Would that have been satisfying to you? Then I’m sorry but it was more important for me to protect myself from this.” Ethan let him know.

 

Looking at the crying man his eyebrows narrowed and there was a strained, sad expression on his face. “I have never been able to see you cry. I always wanted to hold you then, to kiss your face, to make it stop, to make you feel alright. But I couldn’t as I knew you’d not appreciate it. You’d probably just have beaten my teeth out and storm away from me.” The man remembered. Against better knowledge he stepped forward and laid his hand onto Aaron’s hair, caressingly letting his pale fingers run through his silver strands of hair, looking into his face smiling at him melancholically. “You are the only man I’ve ever known who even looks graceful and handsome when he cries.” Ethan spoke.

[Ayakashiu]

“Whose fault is it that I don’t know anything, Cornwell?!” Aaron burst out, annoyance at his former friend taking over again. He knew that Ethan had a point; he didn’t have to go through things the other obviously had to, but that was exactly what bothered him so much. That his best friend wouldn’t trust him with the information as important as this. That he thought Aaron is the same as all the other homophobes from the town. “I called you a coward, because you didn’t tell me about it. How could you think I would be the same as them?” He shook his head in disbelief.

 

The light-haired male felt so frustrated. His feelings were a mess! One moment he felt annoyed and angry, then the next one he felt like he was breaking down, hurt and on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t his mind just decide on what to feel?! Or was it his heart that was messing things up? He wanted to shake Ethan up and make him stop being so cold and distant. The friend he remembered was never like this, instead the man in front of him felt like a stranger. Aaron didn’t want to admit it to himself till now, but his best friend was really gone forever. The realization hit him like a punch to the stomach and he let out a groan.

 

It was weird listening to the ginger talk about how he felt all this time, while Aaron had no idea what was actually happening inside of his mind. The other seemed so confident now, so sure about who he was and how he wants to live his life. It made the light-haired male feel immature, like a kid being scolded by an adult. But Ethan didn’t know everything either. “Those girls you bring up so much, do you know, why not even one of them lasted more than a few weeks?” A self-deprecating smile appeared on Aaron’s face as he continued, “It was because of you, Cornwell. They all got fed up with me, spending so much time with you, instead of them. But can I really be blamed for acting like that? I was a high-school boy in the middle of puberty and I had no idea I was causing you pain!” Aaron tugged at his hair in frustration. “I don’t know how I would react, if you told me what you’re telling me now back then. Maybe I would leave this fucking town with you Ethan. I don’t know and we will never know, because you decided to not tell me. But I would most definitely not turn my back on you! I’m not and I never was anything like your parents or other people like them.” The light-haired male raised his head and turned it towards his former friend, determined look in his eyes. He refused to apologize or be blamed for causing the other discomfort, when he didn’t even know about it.

 

Finding out that his former friend refused to tell him all this, because he was afraid Aaron would feel disgusted, was unsettling. He never thought of himself as judging of other people, but he must have somehow given that impression to his former friend. The person that was next to him every day, thought he was capable of acting that way, shaming someone for their sexual preferences. Aaron suddenly felt sick.

 

He let out a sigh. “It’s true what you said. I didn’t have to go through what you did and I can’t say your choices were wrong. But wouldn’t you be angry too, if I just disappeared back then? It’s easier to be angry, than let everyone see you crying like a baby. Oh wait, I’m already doing that.” Aaron chuckled, but it lacked amusement, sounding sad instead.

 

Then a hand touched his hair, running through the strands and it felt so good. It caused shivers to rush down his back. Ethan was looking at him with a sorrowful smile on his lips and he suddenly looked more like his best friend. Aaron caught himself thinking, he wanted to stay like this forever, pretending they were still friends, Ethan comforting him like he used to. But then the moment was ruined, when the other spoke again. The light-haired male blushed at his former friend’s words and swept his hand away with his own. “Don’t mock me!” He probably looked pathetic, his eyes most likely red and puffed from the tears, not even close to ‘graceful’ or ‘handsome’.

 

He looked over his former friend as if checking him out, then remarked, “Not all of us have time to get all prettied up for a simple reunion. Or have fancy dressed lying around at home.” He poked at his former’s friend arm, as if pointing to his suit. Once again the distinction between them was obvious. Aaron felt underdressed and Ethan’s words only made him feel awkward and overly aware of himself. Trying to get the attention away from himself, he puckered his eyebrows and asked, “When did you start smoking? That’s a nasty habit..” Ethan’s touch seemed to calm him down and Aaron felt more collected now.

[-Hideki-]

Ethan rolled his hazel eyes in an unimpressed way at that before he blew rings of smoke into the air that vanished all so quickly. “Hmm, let me think about it. I’d say genetics but I’m sure if you’d ask my parents they’d tell you some stories about a dude named God and another one named Satan.” He answered in regards to the question whose fault it was that Aaron was straight and Ethan gay and the other didn’t know anything about the ginger’s experiences. It certainly wasn’t his fault. Even if he had confessed being gay and having been in love with the other he wouldn’t have been able to understand what had been going on in him growing up gay in a town like that. There was no way the red head could have made him feel that or experience it first hand and calling him a coward was definitely uncalled for from the other’s position in regards to that.

 

The explanation as to why he had called him a coward didn’t change his opinion about that but he saw what bugged the other when he asked him how he could have thought he’d have such a mindset. Since Wilson didn’t seem to have such a view about homosexual men he could see why that would hurt the other and why he was upset about it, he’d probably be too. “Because you have been taught the same I have been taught! Because your parents spoke the same way mine did! And because most kids ate that believe system, the ideology and the homophobia up and held the same views about the subject their parents did and since you weren’t gay yourself there was a high chance that this was the case for you too.” He explained. “I have certainly hoped it wouldn’t be, that you’d be different in that regards as well and not be judgemental about this either but I could have never been sure. It was too risky as long as I’ve had to live here, had not finished school and had no other place to go. Had you reacted negatively or shocked or grossed out and would have told someone else I would have been screwed and at best homeless too at worst chained to a bed while going through exorcism because my insane parents would have called the priest.” The pale man spoke and to think about what would have happened had the townspeople known back then, had his parents known made a shudder run through him and he took another pull from his cigarette.

 

His eyes had gone distant as he looked up into the night sky. His parents, that town, they all were unpleasant memories, an oppression he had escaped, like a cage he had been locked up in and that he had found the key for. The red head had mostly suppressed all memories from back then, when he had failed eradicating the existence of the past and that town from his mind he had shoved it into the darkest corner of his brain to rot there. But the moment when his boss’s red marker had pointed onto that area and had then drawn a circle around the small town the memories had conquered his brain, had streamed out of the forgotten corner in his mind and had made him feel sick to the cor. And now that he was actually back at this place and it weren’t mere memories anymore but really real, he could smell it, touch it, feel it, it seemed like he had returned to what had only been in his nightmares for so long.

 

Cornwell got thrown out of his thoughts by his former best friend’s voice and his hazel eyes met those clear blue ones that were glistering with tears. A dry laugh came from him and he raised an eyebrow looking at the other. “Was that so?” he asked and his lips showed a cynic smile. “Well, when you realised that I was the obstacle standing in the way of your happiness with all those girls you could have spent more time with your girlfriends and less with me, especially if you have known why your relationships didn’t work out back then. You decided against it Aaron. Maybe going shopping with them or watching dull movies with Julia Roberts didn’t seem appealing for your free time to you and you decided to hang out with your friend instead. It’s not my fault or my problem. I tried to help you with your girl problems even though I would have liked to throw every single one of those bitches from the cliff because you were attracted to them, looked at them like that and kissed them and not me.” The ginger said not any more impressed than he was before.

 

A sigh came from him at the next part. “I don’t blame you for my pain Aaron.” He clearly stated lying his head in his neck pulling on his cigarette then blowing the smoke back out of his lungs like a chimney. “If it appeared like I was I apologise for the misconception.” He added and then looked at the silver haired man again. “I was merely explaining to you why I have left like this although I loved you. You asked me that remember.” Cornwell told him and a small smile was playing around his lips when the other told him that he didn’t know how he would have reacted and the ginger started to chuckle when he said that he might have left that fucking town together with him.

 

“That’s cute.” He remarked. “Really is.” Ethan added and then shook his head slightly. “But it seems to me that you have not quite understood. The town, my parents that was one thing I had to escape but at the same time I had to get away from you too.” The ginger said and pointed at the other with his cigarette. “While it would have helped a lot to know that you would have accepted me it would have ruined a huge bit of the purpose if you’d have accompanied me.” The ginger told him. “I was in love with you and you weren’t in love with me Aaron. And you wouldn’t have been had you left together with me so it’d have been the same old game between the two of us. I would not have been able to see any other guy because I was hooked on you and I’d have suffered because you would have only seen me as your friend and told me how hot this and that girl was, introduced your girlfriends to me and I would have had to smile at them although I’d have loved to just scream and punch everything into bits and pieces internally.” He described hoping the other would understand now.

 

“Certainly!” he agreed when Wilson asked him if he wouldn’t have been angry had the other just disappeared without a word. “I understand that you were or apparently still are angry about that.” Cornwell acknowledged before he let his hand run through the other’s silky strands of hair. That silver hair was mesmerising, he had always loved it and Ethan was rather surprised that Aaron accepted the caressing gesture of his, that he was letting him touch him. This moment was soon over though. At the comment he made he could see the other blush red furiously and his hand was pushed away by the other man. For a moment the ginger held his hand in the air and looked at it confused and then his eyes met his former best friend’s as the man hissed that he shouldn’t mock him. That reaction made Ethan smile and his hand disappeared in his pocket again. “I am not mocking you.” He told him genuinely. “I am attracted to you have you already forgotten again. I find you adorable and handsome and generally gracious looking. No matter what you do, even when you cry.” The red head repeated and his hazel eyes were laying on the other when he blew some smoke into the air again.

 

What followed had him completely surprised. That sharp remark about how Ethan was supposedly dressed up and then the other poking his arm pointing at his designer suit, that was too much, he started to laugh. “I wear a suit like this every day, it’s a work suit. I’m not prettied up. I’ve taken nothing with me here to pretty me up. I didn’t deem that necessary for this town and I wasn’t planning on showing up at a high-school reunion anyway.” He told him and chuckled again. “And you don’t have to pretend like you would have dressed fancy anyway, I’m certain you have some suit flying around somewhere. You have refused to make a fuss out of any of the events that the people in town cared about. You looked a lot similar like you do today on prom and the graduation ceremony. The messy hair, the casual jeans and shirt look. I loved that. This little stubborn rebellious attitude! I found you damn hot and I kept looking at you the entire prom night where I ignored and didn’t dance with my date, the obese neighbour’s daughter my dad had arranged for me because I had not asked anyone and no girl would have gone with me anyway and I actually wanted to go with you to begin with. I would have liked to dance close with you. But you danced with that girl, what was her name again? I hated her too because you’ve asked her. “the ginger told him.

 

Taking another pull on his cigarette he focussed on the smoke and how it was filling his lungs before he let it stream out of his nose. That was when he saw Wilson puckering his eyebrows before he asked him when he had started to smoke calling it a nasty habit. The red head chuckled. “You’re right, it’s an unhealthy habit. I tried to stop several times, didn’t work.” He told him. “I’ve started when I was together with the man I told you about. He was that unconventional, open-minded artistic type, a fashion designer. We were never really a couple per-se and he had told me when our relationship started to get physical and rather passionate, that he wouldn’t let anyone tie him down into a monogamous relationship, that he wanted everything to stay open and poly and whatever. He sounded so sophisticated and totally cool to me you see. I was pretty easily impressed and everything was just new to me and I agreed to this. Turned out it wasn’t cool though, for me at least. I am a strictly monogamous man; I need one man to be mine and to only be mine and to be satisfied with only me. But he had told me before so I couldn’t really blame him could I, it wasn’t like he was cheating or something. However whenever he didn’t return at night, or he brought some other guy I started to get really angry and possessive and I couldn’t say anything because according to the arrangement we had it was all fair game, so I ate up my anger. And well, there had always been cigarettes in the house, he was an older guy who smoked after all and then I tried it and I realised that it calmed my nerves, helped me with my anger as it relaxed me to sit down and smoke and boom the habit was formed. I stopped fucking him soon after, left our apartment, got a side-job and moved into a flat share with some other LGBT students from my college but the cigarettes stayed.” Cornwell told him a little amused.

 

“What about you though, you haven’t told me what you are doing nowadays!?” he wanted to know. “Do you have a wife and a girlfriend now because I wasn’t there to keep you from spending time with the ladies anymore?” he joked, dropped the cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it as he felt that nagging anger inside of him at the thought. He didn’t like the idea that the other was with some woman, in a serious relationship. It was really all the same wasn’t it? How pathetic. “And more importantly, since when did you start to refer to me as ‘Cornwell’ on your mind?” he asked to distract himself from his thoughts.

[Ayakashiu]

“Whaaat?” Aaron shook his head at the answer he got, but his lips tugged into a lopsided smile. He was pretty sure his former friend knew the question was rhetorical. “It’s totally your fault, dude. If you told me about it, I would have known. No need to bring God into this.” He sighed, the playful tone disappearing from his voice. “I know..I was upset and said some mean things to you, but I don’t plan to apologize, because you caught me off guard. If you bothered to call, this meeting would go far better you know?” As the words left his mouth, he remembered what Ethan said in the beginning. “Or would you really avoid me until your work is finished, leaving without even seeing me?” The light-haired male’s voice cracked again, when he imagined that. Meyer would surely tell him about Cornwell returning and Aaron couldn’t imagine what he would do, if he found out his childhood friend returned, but refused to see him.

 

As he listened to the ginger talk on, he realized he didn’t want him to think there’s a chance he might react badly. The shudder that ran through the other was a clear indication how much their uprising affected him. He put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “I don’t care what they taught us, I am different. So you don’t need to hope I won’t judge you, you could be sure of it.” Aaron didn’t want his former friend to feel uncomfortable around him, because of who he was. He could accept that Ethan was gay.

 

Cornwell misunderstood what Aaron wanted to tell him, about how his relationships always fell apart, but he didn’t bother to correct him. Yes, it was his choice and he would decide the same way again, that’s what he wanted the other to know. Ethan wasn’t just convenient for him, but he actually preferred his company, above anyone else. Even if a girl left him because of it, he refused to change anything. He always thought he will know who the right girl would be, when one came along that wouldn’t try and make him spend less time with his friend. But that never really happened and he was still waiting for that person.

 

He understood the other’s explanation, but he still couldn’t accept that the only solution was Ethan’s departure. Maybe together, they would think of a way to make their friendship work out. They were talking normally now, weren’t they? Aaron felt like the mood changed, maybe because he let the tears that were trying to escape him all this time out, or maybe it was just because it felt natural to have his friend back at his side. It was also nice to know that the other didn’t plan to hurt him. In any case, he felt better about this whole situation now and could at least approach it more like an adult should.

 

All this revelations made Aaron look at their relationship in a totally different light. It was also becoming increasingly embarrassing to listen! He groaned and buried his face into his hands. “That’s so..god, can you just not say things like that? It’s just so weird. And I feel like a girl, if you call me ‘adorable’ and ‘gracious’. Which I’m not, by the way! I’m totally manly and masculine.” He said the last part in a boasting manner, looking at the other sitting next to him with a self-assured smile.

 

A moment later, he burst out laughing, the memory of their prom still clear in his mind. “I remember your date! Dude, that was totally your own fault for refusing to ask another girl. And that girl’s name was Jenny.” His prom date was also still clear in his mind. He asked her, because she was one of the more evolved girls back then and he knew she would look great in a dress. His only goal back then, was to get laid, the same as most guys their age. “Ah yeah, Jenny Renner. She still lives here and has a small boy, who loves comics, so we get along pretty well. She’s really nice you know.” It made him uncomfortable, when the ginger said he hated her, because she really was nice and he considered her one of his friends now.

 

As Ethan continued to describe how he started smoking, Aaron listened but it was awkward. He didn’t like the sound of this ‘friend’, who later became the other’s lover. He felt like he was one of the main reasons Cornwell decided to leave their town and also he should cherish his former friend. But he couldn’t really be the one to judge; his relationships were all pretty much like that. As long as the sex was good and the girl didn’t want to get closer, things worked, but as soon as they wanted to start changing Aaron’s habits, so he would spend more time with them, he finished things. He never got involved with more than one girl at a time though.

 

Ethan asking him questions, derailed his train of thoughts. He choose to ignore the other bringing up girls again, answering vaguely instead. “Nah, relationships don’t really work for me. It’s just too much work.” Aaron shrugged, as if he didn’t want to be bothered even thinking about it. “I work in the library now, since I love the peace and quiet of the place. And girls don’t really dig nerdy librarians all that much, so..” He let the words trail off, not really wanting to talk about his love life. He was also suddenly feeling too embarrassed to tell his childhood friend he was also writing books. It wasn’t like they were bestsellers, although some were pretty popular. Ethan would probably just tease him about it anyways. But this was the perfect opportunity to ask the other the same question. “What about you? Did you find someone special?” He also wanted to know, how many partners the other had ever since leaving, but he felt that question was too personal.

 

“And I’m calling you Cornwell, because everyone else calls you that, don’t they?” The truth was that calling him Ethan, felt more intimate and it made the light-haired male feel awkward. “How do you want me to call you?”

[-Hideki-]

His eyes widened a little when the other man was asking him if he would have indeed avoided him until he had finished his work in the town and leave again without seeing him and Aaron’s voice was cracking again making Ethan narrow his eyebrows in a strained way as he sighed. “Honestly, I don’t even know.” The red head answered. “I never thought I’d ever set a foot into this town again and the idea of having to be here again was stressful and upsetting in itself.” He told him. “I am prepared for my work, I am incredibly good at what I do but I am completely unprepared for everything else in that town. I have made no plans. And I would have assumed that the last person you’d ever want to see again would be me. Judging by your reaction to seeing me and the words you threw at me I was completely right with that assumption wasn’t I?” Cornwell let the other man know and shrugged. “Chances would have been we’d have run into each other before I could have even considered calling or visiting you anyway though. I never wanted to see my parents again and I certainly didn’t plan on meeting them while I’m here but the first people I’ve run into have been them. In the grocery store! They looked at me as if I’d be something entirely reprehensible, as if they wanted to throw up into my face at my mere appearance.” The man explained to Wilson.

 

When Aaron suddenly laid his hand onto his shoulder, firmly squeezing it the touch was electrifying his whole body and the place where he touched him felt warm and prickly. ‘Oh boy…’ he thought as his heart was starting to race quicker and he looked into the other man’s handsome face, those pale, tempting, soft lips and he wanted to touch him back differently again, wanted to kiss him, wrap his arms around him, press him against himself, rubbing against each other but he couldn’t. “I appreciate it.” He said and he couldn’t keep himself from laying his hand onto Aaron’s wanting to intertwine their fingers but he just took a deep breath.

 

After he had repeated how he was attracted to the other and how he saw him the man groaned and buried his face into his hands in embarrassment apparently uncomfortable. He listened as he was told to stop saying this, that the other found it weird, that it made him feel like a girl, that he was none of those things ending with emphasising how many and masculine he was. The more the other had spoken the more Cornwell’s lips had curled up in amusement and the harder it was not to laugh. He couldn’t win that battle though especially not with how the man was boasting himself and looking at him that self-assured as if he had to demonstrate Ethan something the ginger didn’t know.

 

He was bursting out into laughter at that and it took him a while to regain his composure again but there was a wide amused smirk still to see on his face. “I know you are Aaron.” He said sincerely looking into the blue eyes that were almost aquamarine. There was warmth in his smile when he continued to speak. “That’s what I find gracious and glorious though, masculinity, manliness. The male physique is aesthetic and stunning to me. I am attracted to masculinity and in my eyes men are the beautiful gender. I can’t see anything graceful or beautiful about a plump woman’s body and I fail to see how you can.” Ethan let the other man know. “If you weren’t a manly man Aaron but a girl as you said it made you feel like, I’d not have said any of those things to you and I’d not be attracted to you or desire you in anyway. So just take it as a compliment to your masculinity that a man like me is into you.” He said, grinning into the other man’s face. “I also don’t find women adorable. There are however men who I do find adorable and cute and it has to do with the way they act, express themselves and smile for instance. I have found a 2m tall muscle hulk cute so you aren’t in feminine company here either. “the red head let the other know and laughed.

 

It was the other who started to laugh just as enthusiastically when he got reminded of prom and Ethan’s lips were curled up in a smile as he watched the other laugh and heard the comments he made. He looked a little confused. “My fault? Why would I have wanted to ask another girl? What difference would that have made? Franciscka was as good as any other girl and I wouldn’t have danced with or cared about another girl either. She was probably even better because she had her purse full of snacks.” The red head didn’t get the other man’s way of thinking. “I shouldn’t have had to ask a girl in the first place that’s the actual issue here. In a better town I would have been able to ask a guy and have a nice evening as well. And in a perfect world I could have asked you, you would have said yes and we’d have had a lot of fun and gotten really happy that night doing what it was all about anyway what you unfortunately did with Jenny in reality.” Ethan told him shaking his head and laughing at the same time as he thought back about that evening more.

 

“I’ve seen you. Making out outside the gym next to parking lot when I went outside because Franciscka had forgotten something in my car or rather my dad’s car I borrowed. It hit all oxygen out of my lungs and I felt so sick that I forgot about Franciscka’s flower corsage and went to search for Dave , the guy from the chess club because there had been rumours he had alcohol with him that he had stolen from his parents and I didn’t want to feel anything anymore. It was true. Dave did have alcohol and we drank all of it in the broom cabinet while you were doing that chick. When we left the broom cabinet later we’ve been completely wasted and couldn’t walk straight anymore. We tumbled into Franciscka somewhere along the way and she was angry because she had been searching for me and her flower corsage the whole time but she still took both of us home with her because she knew otherwise our parents would have beaten the shit of us. So we watched shitty movies in her pink room, ate a lot of the snacks she hid in a giant box under her bed until we puked out of her window.” The ginger said and laughed at the memory. “We then had to listen to Franciscka going on about how gross and stupid boys were and I kinda got the feeling that she had wanted to go with a guy as much as I had wanted to go with a girl and when I thought about it she hadn’t even once complained or asked me to ask her to dance with her already and she has looked at your Jenny quite often. In a way me and her were the perfect prom couple after all.” He said. “If I’d have stayed here I and she probably would have ended up marrying and being unhappy together while thankful that we didn’t want anything from each other and no one would bother the other with their genitalia.” Cornwell joked but it wasn’t even an unlikely scenario. “What is she doing now anyway? Did she make a straight man unhappy with her?” he was interested.

 

There was an avalanche in his guts when Wilson spoke about that Jenny Renner woman and he rolled his eyes. He didn’t care where she lived and he didn’t care if she had a son or if she was nice. He should have been between Aaron’s legs and not Aaron between that Jenny’s legs back then. A snort came from him. “Really nice? Really nice means you like her tits and still fuck her behind the back of her husband while her kid sleeps in the next room?” he said and lit another cigarette as he was basically a chain smoker when no law or rule kept him from it.

 

A dry laugh came from him when Aaron told him that relationships didn’t work out for him. “So it wasn’t because you have spent time with me back then that your relationships didn’t work but because you are just incapable of maintaining one. Maybe you have commitment issues and used me as a convenient excuse to not have to get close to any of the girls you went out with.” He remarked with a shrug as he thought that even if the other had been gay he would have gotten hurt anyway because the man apparently wasn’t relationship material. His hazel eyes peered into the blue ones and he raised his eyebrows and pulled on the new cigarette when the other man told him that he worked in the library and that girls didn’t dig nerdy librarians. A snort came from him. “A shame!” he said in a way that didn’t show that this bothered him at all. The man turned around to him and winked in a flirtatious way.” I dig nerdy librarians a lot though.” He stated, flashing his eyebrows up and then down again before he then remembered that his flirty comments or compliments made the other man uncomfortable. “Sorry. I forgot that weirded you out for a moment.”

 

When the other wanted to know how it was in his life relationship wise he shrugged. “After I moved out of that lover’s place until now I have had three long term committed monogamous serious relationships. In-between those I dated one or the other guy. I’ve recently gotten single again though because my former partner of three years has dumped me as he said I would have gotten too ‘petty-bourgeois’ or in normal terms I and the life I wanted to live with him was too conservative for him in the end. It’s funny if you think about it. I mean, if many people in New York find me too conservative in a lot of ways, what would they call this ratsnest then? What term would be left for the people and the people’s lives here when they call me conservative?” he found it pretty ironic that he was getting dumped because he was too conservative. “Anyway, I am over it. It has upset and angered me less than it has angered me having to come back here. Maybe both of us have gotten estranged without me really realising it.” The ginger told him noticing that he wasn’t missing him. After his other break-ups it had been much worse and taken him quite some time and brainless fucking with strangers to get over it.

 

He raised an eyebrow. “No, not everyone calls me that. Not even most of my colleagues from work do.” He answered straight away. “The bullies in that town have done so if that’s what you mean.” Ethan said dryly. “It’s funny isn’t it though, that even Jake and Charlene call me Ethan now and you, who has always said Ethan before are calling me Cornwell now.” the ginger pointed out and chuckled. When asked how he wanted to be called the man grinned. “Call me my love.” He answered jesting and sarcastically. “No, kidding. How about you use my name, which is Ethan. If that however is too informal and too personal for you I can easily follow your example and refer to you as Mister Wilson, you decide.” The red head said.

[Ayakashiu]

It was relieving to hear the other didn’t know what he would do, if they wouldn’t bump into each other at the reunion. It was better then be told outright, that he didn’t want to see him at all. Aaron figured that hoping to hear his childhood friend say he wanted to stay in touch, after everything that he told him, was too optimistic. He sighed, before answering the question. “As I said before, I was upset when you appeared so suddenly, so I acted like a jerk. I was surprised to see you after so long, angry that you were there with Meyer, when I didn’t even know you were back and most of all annoyed, ‘cause you seemed so relaxed and not affected at all. Also, you look really good. I thought that you changed a lot since high-school and it’s apparent that it was for the better. Guess that bothered me.” With a chuckle, he added, “It sounds like I’m jealous right? But it’s not I don’t like my life here, I’m actually really content that I get to play games as much as I want or read my brains out. I also love my job. It’s more that I dislike the idea you are better off without me.” It was hard to keep the hurt out of his words.

 

“Your parents are dicks. I haven’t been in touch with them, ever since you left. They refused to tell me anything or help me get in touch with you, can you imagine that?! People who don’t even bother to look for their child as he disappears, shouldn’t have kids in the first place! I’m sorry you had to run into them as soon as you arrived. Although I wasn’t much more welcoming, was I?” He smiled apologetically at Ethan, not knowing what else to say on the matter.

 

As Ethan burst out laughing at his words, Aaron couldn’t help but grin too; it was a nice feeling to make the other laugh like that. But his grin faded and he felt his face burning again, as all he could say was, “Oh…” It was mesmerizing listening to his childhood friend describing, how he saw other men. It was similar to how he himself saw women and Aaron figured, the other would want a girly partner, since he was clearly masculine himself. But now he perceived his mistake. They really were different in what attracted them and Aaron felt a bit lost. How can he be a good friend, if he can’t even understand this? But he was prepared to listen and learn, so he won’t say something unnecessary to hurt his friend.

 

“You’re right, that is not the issue. I didn’t want to be insulting towards Franciscka, but all I remember about her, was that she wasn’t easy to get along with, so I thought it might have been tiring spending the whole evening with her.” Looking back, Aaron felt ashamed of himself. He was never mean to Franciscka himself, but he never tried to be her friend either. She wasn’t his type, so he didn’t even bother to get to know more about her. “I can imagine her carrying snacks around!“ He chuckled at the memory.”That girl still loves to eat, but I think that she doesn’t really feel so self-conscious about her size anymore. She opened a pastry shop, down at the end of Main Street and she’s doing well. Still as feisty as before though and I think she doesn’t really like me all that much. That doesn’t keep me from her banana cupcakes; they are to die for!” Aaron’s voice almost turned into a moan, as he remembered the taste of the cupcakes. “You should really try them out while you’re here. I’m really happy you didn’t end up marrying her. I think she would chase after us with a broom, because we would spend all day playing games or something!” The thought made him laugh and he could imagine it all too clearly in his head.

 

Only after saying all that, did his brain process what Ethan said. “Wait, what? In a perfect world we would..do what?!” At another time, Aaron would probably find it funny how slow he was, but right now, so much was happening that he didn’t really understand all the implications of his childhood friend’s confession. He kind of got over the ‘I was in love with you’, but he didn’t really think what that meant in practice. He was embarrassed merely by being called hot, so hearing Ethan say he wanted to do things to him, made his brain overload. He shook his head in disbelief, trying to get that mental image out of his brain. “Whoa..I didn’t even thought you might want that..but of course you would, what guy doesn’t, right?” He laughed, trying to break the tension. “But doesn’t it hurt?” So typical of him, to blurt out a stupid question like that. But he didn’t know anything about sex between two men and that question was the only thing that came to mind.

 

When the subject went on to Jenny, Ethan let out a loud snort and the comment about Aaron fucking her behind her husband’s back rubbed him the wrong way. “Just because you don’t like her, doesn’t mean you have to be rude! I don’t know about you, but I don’t sleep with married people, at least not knowingly.” It happened to him once, when he picked up a girl at the bar and they ended up meeting regularly, until one day her husband followed her and caught them. The drama was too bothersome and Aaron didn’t want to get into the same situation again. Why do people like that get married in the first place? He couldn’t understand that and if he knew, he would never take that girl home.

 

“To be honest, I never slept with Jenny. She said I need to take her to a real date first and I just wasn’t that interested. I acted like I did, because I thought I would look cooler, like the other guys who did it.” The thought that his childhood friend got drunk on their prom, because Aaron was busy making out with a random girl, was unsettling. He couldn’t imagine how the other felt back then. ”You misunderstood what I meant to tell you! You weren’t a convenient excuse, you were just always a better company than those girls. I would still choose hanging out with you, over dating some stupid girl. And just because I don’t want a long-term relationship with someone, who I know would annoy me or try to change me, doesn’t mean I have commitment issues! I’m just waiting for someone who’s compatible with me, to settle down with.”

 

The teasing comment and the wink from the other, brought out a small smile to Aaron’s lips. He punched the other’s shoulder lightly. “I always knew you were weird.” He appreciated the ginger’s attempt to console him and as the other apologized for his behavior, the light-haired male felt the need to clear things up. “I’m not weirded out by it, I’m just not used to you acting like this, you know? I mean, you kind of just dropped everything on me at once, I’m still trying to process it.”

 

It was funny that Ethan, who liked men, was the more serious of the two. Aaron got involved with quite a lot of girls since high-school, but he had no relationships that lasted more than a few months, while his childhood friend seemed to have quite a few. “Wow, someone calling you conservative? That would be the last word I would use, when describing you. I really can’t imagine what they would think about us here then either. But at least it’s getting better. The old inhabitants are still the same, but our generation is far less orthodox.”

 

The reason the light-haired male always called his childhood friend by his name, was because he was the only one calling him that and it was special. Now that everyone else referred to him as Ethan, it didn’t feel so special anymore. He only raised an eyebrow at the other’s first suggestion, before replying. “Mister Wilson has a nice ring to it, I feel much more respected when you call me that.” He grinned teasingly at the ginger. “So, Ethan, do you want to go to a bar, get drunk and complain about your ex?” He purposefully emphasized the other’s name as he said it. “Or we can go to my place, since I really don’t want to deal with other people right now. I have some good whiskey stacked somewhere and we could play some games, like the old times.” He stood up, stretching his legs and shivered a little from the cold. “This stairs are getting really uncomfortable and cold. Oh, but you can’t smoke at my place, I don’t want the whole apartment stinking of cigarettes.”

[-Hideki-]

Listening intently to what his former best friend told him his hazel eyes rested on the silver haired handsome man and he pressed his fingers onto his forehead as this was a difficult one. He could understand the other. He could understand that this hurt. It’d hurt him too if the situations had been reverse but at the same time he couldn’t say that he wasn’t better off without him because he was. That was not Aaron’s fault. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault that he couldn’t love Ethan in that way but it was still true. When the ginger was around the other man he was hooked on him, he desired him; he wanted to be with him closer and more intimately than the other would ever let him and because he couldn’t it’d lead him into misery, hence he was better off without him. So there wasn’t much he could say at all as he wouldn’t deny it no matter how much he wanted to take the hurt away from the man, to make him smile, to make him feel better. It’d be a lie though and he wouldn’t deny that he had been able to carry on and start out when his mind had finally gotten away from the all consuming subject of Aaron Wilson who had been his best friend.

 

His eyebrows slightly went up when he was informed that his parents had not told the other where he had been. “So you did ask after all huh.” The red head said, pulled on his cigarette and exhaled the smoke with a sigh. “I thought they’d tell you that I was okay and in New York but now that you say it, yes, I can believe that they have not done so.” The ginger nodded remembering what his parents had sent to his friend’s address as an answer to his letter. “I didn’t get much from them either. Just an old piece of paper where my mother had smeared the words :‘You are not our son! We wish you’d never been born. You will get yourself into hell but don’t drag us down with you’ onto.” Cornwell let the other man know. A dry, bitter laugh came from him when the other stated he had not been much more welcoming than his parents. “You didn’t exactly lay out the red carpet, true. But at the same time you didn’t look at me as if I was a piece of shit someone had just flung into your face either.” He let out a snorting laugh although he wasn’t amused in the slightest. He had known how they were, he had known it, he had always known it but it hurt. They were his parents. He would have liked to have parents who could have loved him.

 

The ‘Oh…’ the other man let out when Ethan had described how he felt about men and their bodies, that he saw grace and glory in their roughness, in their manliness it was definitely amusing though and he looked at the man patiently and with a smile. “Did it really never appear to you that you have a masculine elegance about yourself Aaron? Your lean body, the way you walk and carry yourself, like a runner, an athlete. I could stare at you moving your body for an eternity.” The ginger remarked and he stroked a strand of silver hair out of the other man’s face looking a little dreamy at Wilson.

 

Ethan listened and nodded like a normal thirty-four years old man would when he was told that Franciscka had a pastry shop and he could definitely imagine it, it fitted her. However there was a wide and smutty smirk appearing on his face when the other mentioned the banana cupcakes and almost moaned at the thought of their taste. “I didn’t know that you are that hot for bananas. Maybe there is hope for us after all! How about eggplants? And would you give me your phone number so that I could send you eggplant emojis with a suggestive wink?” the ginger couldn’t help himself but to tease the other, having to bite his bottom lip to not just burst out into laughter at his own thoughts concerning Aaron and his love for ‘bananas’ but he couldn’t keep himself from laughing entirely so he did chuckle like an idiot for a while.

 

He relaxed and laid his arms behind his neck when the other told him he was glad that he had not married Franciscka after all and Ethan grinned. “I’m certainly glad about that too. I would have probably become a clinically depressed alcoholic game-addict and I would have never gotten to love and get loved back. It would have been a grey, boring, lonely life.” The ginger said.

 

The shocked expression and the disbelief in which the silver haired man reacted to Cornwell saying that in a perfect world they would have gone to prom together and would have had sex afterwards was pure gold and made him laugh again. At the same time it was a little hurtful how impossible and absurd the mere thought seemed to be to him to sleep with Ethan but he had not expected much else. “I told you that I was in love with you didn’t I? What did you think it meant? I wanted to be physically close to you too and yes, I wanted to have sex with you for sure. I have even gotten into quite some embarrassing situations looking at you, at the water park for instance.” The ginger let him know chuckling.

 

Then there was another question busting out of Wilson and it made Ethan look a little surprised at the man that he was asking him something like this, that it even interested him and that he was now apparently thinking about it. The red head smiled at his former friend who was obviously asking himself about two men having sex now bringing such questions onto his mind. “You’ve gotten the wrong guy if you have hoped for someone who’d be able to tell you from experience if it hurt or how it felt to have a penis inside of you. I have never had anything up my butt. I’m not into that, the thought alone is utterly unappealing to me I just know I couldn’t bear it and wouldn’t enjoy having anyone or anything inside of me.” The ginger said and pointed at his own face. “I’m a top, total top.” He explained. “A bottom could give you better insight about that feeling I suppose but since I am probably the only openly gay guy you know you have to bear with me.” Cornwell joked. “It shouldn’t be painful but pleasurable. It might feel uncomfortable and weird at the first time; maybe it’ll hurt a bit but with a decent partner who prepares you properly and tends to your needs makes sure that you’re feeling good and at ease you should be fine. Communication is important too. Your partner needs to make your anus relax to loosen the muscle some, spread you out properly and use enough lubricant and not ram his cock into you with force and without any consideration of course, that could actually cause damage to your anus. To summarise, if you are in pain something is done wrong and you should consider leaving your partner for me because I am just a great lover.” The ginger told the other with a smirk. “If you are curious and would like to know if you’d like that kind of stimulation – some straight men actually do – you could try it with your own fingers. Press them against your prostate, finger yourself while jerking off or ask some chick if she’d do it with her fingers.” Ethan said and then smiled. “Anything else?” he asked not minding the question. He’d rather the man asked than made assumptions or would be grossed out.

 

“Sorry, the idea that you might still desire her sexually made me jealous.” He let the other know with a sigh pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose when his comment about Jenny and Aaron fucking her had rubbed the silver haired the wrong way. “I’m still feeling like that around you I can’t help it.” The ginger said, he was the possessive type in relationships already and in this situation with Aaron he had always been jealous and jealousy could get rather ugly. “I obviously don’t sleep with married men either. I don’t really sleep around anyway. I only had anonymous sex a few times after a break up years ago to get over him and it didn’t work too well. I don’t enjoy brainless fucks with guys I don’t give a ratsass about.” Cornwell let the other know and pulled on his cigarette, inhaling the smoke to calm down inside.

 

Having the other man explain to him what he had meant when he had told him that his relationships had not worked out because he had hung out with him too much his heart started to swell, wings beating in his stomach and there was a slight rosy colour on his pale cheeks. “Shit!” he muffled. “Idiot! Don’t say cute stuff like that to me or I’ll fall for you even worse and get my hopes up.” Ethan told the other looking at his expensive dress shoes and he couldn’t help but to think ‘If I were better company than any girl, if you’d have preferred spending time with me over them, why did you fall for them and not for me then’ and he of course knew the answer but as always it wasn’t helping to make the heavy feeling go away. He took a deep breath trying to calm his racing heart in his chest.

 

“I agree. “ he nodded when the other told him that not wanting to be with someone one knew would annoy oneself or who tried to change oneself was a sign of commitment issues. “But who would be dumb enough to want to change something about you?” he asked and turned his head towards Aaron again his hazel eyes gazing into blue deeply. “I’d never want to change anything about you. I think you’re just right as you are. I’d cherish and value you just how you are.” Ethan made that certain. “Although it probably doesn’t mean anything to you at all.” He added and laughed but it sounded utterly pained and sad and the red head quickly pulled on his cigarette and pulled so hard that the whole cigarette turned into ash that fell to the ground right away. He stored it in his lungs for a while, concentrating on that, really focussing only on that, trying to empty his mind before he let all of the smoke out.

 

The raised eyebrow and how the man looked at his first suggested after the other had asked him how he wanted to be called didn’t escape him but the teasing remark he got from him was what actually amused him and he leaned over and breathed into the other’s ear:”Alright, Mister Wilson, teach me some respect.” In a really stupid, mocking seductive tone that could have been cut right out of a trashy porn movie and it made Ethan laugh about it himself as he just failed to stay serious when he did stupid stuff like that.

 

When they got at least half serious again and Aaron suggested that they’d get some drinks and that the ginger could complain about his ex he nodded. “I wouldn’t mind getting drunk, after a day back in this stupid town I need it.” Ethan commented. “But I don’t fancy complaining about my ex. There is nothing to complain about. I’m over him, I really don’t care.” The man shrugged watched the other man as he got up from the stairs and shivered slightly telling him that they could rather go over to his place, drinking whisky and playing video games like back in the day. A smile that had a tad bit of nostalgia in it formed on his face. “Fine!” he stated and stood, opening the jacket of his suit, stripping out of it, laying it around the other man’s shoulders as he was apparently cold, placing his arm around the Aaron’s shoulders and one hand onto the right side of it, inhaling the others scent and it was enticing him again. “Are you sure though. That you want to make some gay guy who has a thing for you drunk in your house? What if I tried to kiss you?” he asked in a teasing, joking tone but there was some fear of his own in it. What was if there’d be a moment where he couldn’t resist the temptation of pressing his lips onto the other’s in his drunken head? He still had the same feelings for the man as back then but if Wilson didn’t bother so wouldn’t he.

 

“I’ll just have to go outside to smoke sometimes then. I’m used to it. Smoking isn’t cool anymore and people don’t want smokers in their houses or bars or clubs or anywhere.” The man shrugged walking towards one of the taxis that was parking in front of the school building. Ethan held the door open for the other man, waited until the silver haired had gotten inside and then entered himself, closing the door. He leaned back into the leather seats, got comfortable and sat there with his arm on the backrest of the backseats and his legs spread out as his hazel eyes observed Aaron when he told the taxi driver his address while he lit himself another cigarette. When the vehicle had started its way his eyes stayed on the other man. “So, what made you decide to stay here? What held you here? I mean, you could have left too. Did you never think about leaving this place for somewhere better, somewhere more interesting?” he was curious to learn.

[Ayakashiu]

“I can’t believe your parents!” Aaron suddenly felt like punching something. It would be far easier to handle the situation, if he knew the reason why his best friend left. Part of why he couldn’t get over it, or completely forget about it, was the fact that he didn’t know the reason behind all this. First, he worried if something happened, so he called all the hospitals, asking if there was an Ethan Cornwell brought in. But there was no one by that name. After a week, he started accepting that his best friend wasn’t hurt, but decided to leave on his own. So he spent days, trying to figure out what he did wrong, but couldn’t think of anything. Why would Ethan, who looked okay all till the end, just disappear? Now, the reason was clear to Aaron, but he couldn’t forgive the other’s parents for acting like they did. “I went to them as soon as I figured something was wrong. They could have just told me, they knew how close we were! But they were really rude to me..guess they thought I knew you were gay. But still, what douchebags! The only good thing that came from them, was you.”

 

“Uh, no?” The answer to his friend’s question, if he never thought of himself as elegant, came out more like a question. Only now, listening to the other compliment him, while stroking his hair, did he realize how close they were. As kids, they touched a lot as they played or joked around. It was never uncomfortable for Aaron, not even now, when he knew the other saw him like more than just a friend. The soft touch calmed him down, although he would rather die than admit it felt good to be petted! The light-haired male caught himself thinking, he should style his hair before he left, instead of just leaving it be as it is, so he would look better. It was a funny thought, since Ethan was his friend, but he still wanted to look good in his eyes.

 

“I actually play football with the guys now; Meyer kind of forced me to join them. And it seems that’s enough for me to stay in shape. I never understood it before, the mindless running after a ball, trying to get it in the net, but it’s quite relaxing after a day of working behind a desk. You can join us too, if you feel like letting go of some steam. Or you know, if you want to stare at my moving body for an eternity.” Aaron tried to joke, so he wouldn’t feel too awkward with all the attention. He was blushing as a maiden this whole time and he should really stop! He just wanted to spend some more time with Ethan, before he will leave again.

 

He was soon mocked for his love of banana cupcakes, but the teasing tone the other used and the way he was biting his lip, trying to hold back laughter, was just too familiar. Aaron really missed him all this years and they were just getting comfortable around in each other, so he didn’t plan to ruin it, by being awkward around the other. Gay jokes weren’t all that uncommon amongst straight men either. He shook his head, but couldn’t hold back laughter, as he replied to the teasing. “Dude, banana cupcakes are off limits to joke about! They are a serious matter and when you’ll try one, you’ll see why. I actually didn’t change my number since then, but I’m considering it now, if you plan to spam me with eggplants.”

 

When Ethan described how his life would probably look like, if he stayed, Aaron couldn’t help but feel a bit down. Would he turn out differently too? Maybe if his friend got married, he would too and he couldn’t imagine being happy that way. “Well, being a game-addict doesn’t sound so bad right? Maybe we would both be fat and have beer-bellies, but at least there are ton of games out there we could play.”

 

“Ugh, I know, I know! I’m a bit on the slow side tonight!! I worked the whole day and my brain decided to stop working.” Aaron felt like an inexperienced kid. His friend was so unperturbed by all this, while he still didn’t get everything. He hugged his body and made a shocked impression, at Ethan’s confession about the water park. “You’re such a pervert! Checking me out without me even knowing, when I was only wearing a bathing suit. I feel so violated!” He really wanted to hear the other laugh again and he hoped he would achieve that.

 

But what he felt at the realization that Ethan wants to sleep with him, was nothing compared to the shock he got, when his friend explained he was the top and that he imagined Aaron as the bottom! “Wait, stop, slow down! I’m supposed to be the girl in this relationship?!” His voice turned high-pitched from the panic and he started to wave his hands in front of him. “No, no no, this is not how this works! You can’t just say the thought of having something stuck up your butt is unappealing to you, but then suggest me to try it. That’s so not fair!” He whined, before grabbing the other by the shoulders and shaking him a little. “Now I really feel violated! You imagined sticking your thing up my butt, didn’t you?! I wouldn’t survive that, your dick is even bigger than mine! How is it supposed to go in?!” He paused to take a deep breath, before continuing,” And why are you so relaxed about this?!” As a man, he never imagined there will come a day, when his butt would be in danger. He also never had anal sex with one of the girls, so it was unclear to him, how it can stretch so much. He slumped down and tilted his head, so his forehead was now resting on Ethan’s shoulder. He stayed like that for a moment, trying to get the mental images out of his brain, before looking up. “You wouldn’t even bottom for me?” Aaron was surprised by the question himself, but he was curious what his friend would say to that.

 

Sitting upright again, the light-haired man considered his friend’s answer for a moment. “I do feel flattered that it makes you jealous, but I currently don’t desire any girl sexually, so..” His words trailed off, Aaron not really sure what he wanted to say. Did he want to reassure Ethan? But it was not like they were dating, that there would be a need for that. “I’m actually happy to hear that. There are many diseases you could get, right? I’m relieved you aren’t taking that risk.”

 

For a moment, things got really emotional as Ethan called him an idiot and warned Aaron not to get his hopes up. The light-haired male didn’t really give any thought to how the other might understand his actions or his words, but at the same time, he felt so comfortable around his friend, that he didn’t want to ruin what they just regained. “Who’s an idiot that says cute stuff here?” he mumbled as a response to the other’s words about him being 'right as he is'. It actually meant a lot to Aaron, that his friend liked him the way he was, but now the important question was, how much did Aaron like his friend the way he was? It was a question he couldn’t really give an answer to right now, so he decided to not say anything on the matter at the moment.

 

It was probably because of all the new information his brain needed to process and all the different emotions he was experiencing, but as his friend leaned over and whispered in his ear, a shiver ran through his body and heat started to pool in his stomach. It was clearly a joke and Aaron chuckled too, using the moment when he stood up, to gather himself. “I really should teach you some manners Ethan Cornwell, ‘cause you obviously have none!”

 

But his friend stood up too and even gave him his coat, as he agreed to return to Aaron’s place, so he had to take his words back. “Ok, maybe there’s still some hope for you to become a gentleman.” He wanted to tease the other, using similar words as he used before, but the hands that wrapped around him were distracting him and the heat that pooled in his stomach started to spread. “I trust you. I know you won’t force yourself on me.” Ethan was standing too close and it was a relief as he moved away towards the taxi, although Aaron missed the heat of his body as he shivered from the cold again.

 

In the car, his friend made himself comfortable, taking up quite a lot of space on the seat and Aaron felt heat radiating from his body. It felt comfortable. Too bad the drive would only last a few minutes, since his place was close. “Well, where would I go? I find my escape in books I guess, so I didn’t really have a wish, to go live to a more interesting place. I’m not really social as you either, so I don’t make friends all that easily. I guess it was more comfortable to just stay here. As I said, I’m content with my life here.”

 

As soon as Aaron got really cozy, they arrived at their destination. He asked the driver how much they owe him, but the old man just swayed his hand and made a comment that the town’s celebrity should at least get free rides home. The light-haired man chuckled and thanked him, before exiting the cab. “So, here we are. My flat is on top.” The house had three apartments, one in each floor, so there weren’t many residents and Aaron liked that. Most people here lived in their own houses, but since he was leaving alone, he didn’t need that much space and he decided to rent an apartment instead.

 

He unlocked the door, leading the way up. In the apartment, he hanged Ethan’s coat and took his shoes off, before heading to the kitchen. “Thanks for the coat, it’s really getting chilly outside. So what do you think? It’s not much, but I bet you will like the living room!” Aaron chuckled a bit, looking forward to his friend’s reaction as he searched for glasses and the whiskey he promised. When you entered the apartment, there was a small hallway, before the place opened up. There was a small kitchen on the right and the rest was the living room. There was a huge flat-screen on the left wall, surrounded by speakers and under it the gaming console and the whole collection of games Aaron owned. He bought the black leather couch because he liked the look of it, but it turned out to be super comfortable. Other walls were mostly covered with bookshelves and in the corner, there was his workdesk. He played some games on his computer too, so he made sure to buy a good one, but he preferred the console. Between the kitchen and the living room there was a door that led to his bedroom that had an en suit bathroom.

[-Hideki-]

There was a genuine smile coming back onto Ethan’s face when he saw how mad his friend got about his parents for him due to being told how they had treated him after he had revealed to them that he was gay and it was cute and really nice and made him get a warm feeling somehow. The ginger shrugged when the other informed him that his parents had been rude to him when he had asked about his whereabouts. “Or maybe the mere reminder of my existence has triggered aggression.” He said. “Or maybe they wanted to protect you from getting infected with my gayness and dragged down into eternal damnation. Could also be that they thought I had already infected you and you were gay too.” The ginger created hypothetical scenarios. “Ah, how much joy it is to think about what sick shit could have possibly gone on in my lunatic parent’s heads.” Ethan said and sighed, then smiling at the other man again when he said that the only good thing that had ever come from his parents was him. His cheeks were slightly heating up, “Thanks.” the man said and took Aaron’s hand for a moment giving it a squeeze.

 

The remark about Aaron having elegance to him like a runner or an athlete led to the other male informing him that he played football with Meyer and the other men from the town. When the other invited him to play with them he laughed and snorted. “Oh that wasn’t a joke?” he commented his hazel eyes looking amused. “No. I’m good. It’s not for me. Never was. I rather go to the gym listening to music while I work out and since I am here now I’ll go for a run in the morning.” The red head let him know. “Plus, after that coming out I just had in there I really don’t want to make everyone awkward and those arseholes playing ‘avoid body contact with the gay’ either.” He said scratching his chin. “Getting to stare at how your body moves for an eternity is much more appealing. I might consider it.” Ethan winked then. “Especially if I’ll get a prime view on your sexy arse in those tight pants!” he added coquettishly.

 

Wilson reaction to Cornwell teasing him with his banana cupcake comment was making it even more hilarious and Ethan couldn’t hold back his laughter at all anymore. “I know, I know, bananas are a really serious matter. I have tasted quite some in my life, with cream topping, so I totally get it man.” The ginger teased him further his voice cracking from laughter and he had just gotten back a grip on himself again when the other man told him that he hadn’t changed his number but that he was considering it now if his old friend planned on spamming him with eggplants. “Okay, got it. No eggplants. How about a fine selection of banana pictures then?” he asked moving his eyebrows up and down while looking at the other grinning wider than the Cheshire cat ever could.

 

A laugh came from him and he grinned at the other when he was called a pervert and Aaron joked about feeling violated because Ethan had checked his body out without him knowing back then. “Dude, it was super obvious, like extremely obvious. I completely failed at being discrete about it and I’ve had a boner too. You just didn’t realise because you were busy ‘violating’ those chicks you’ve stared at the same way I stared at you.” The ginger let him know.

 

After he had informed the other about being a total top, what he had casually done because he was and it wasn’t a big deal, Aaron looked at him in complete shock, starting to panic completely for whatever reason when he asked him if he was supposed to be the girl in that ‘relationship’, a relationship that wouldn’t even ever exist mind you. Ethan chuckled. “No. There are no girls in gay relationships my friend. Everything involving a girl, consider me out. Bottom men aren’t any less manly than I am at all. It’s two men and none has the role of the girl both have the ‘role’ of men. And I have a lot of respect for bottoms actually; they have quite some effort beforehand that I don’t have. So would you not call my former partners ‘girls’ because they had sex with me.” The red head stated clearly but he doubted that Wilson heard any of that because he had begun to hectically wave his hands around in front of Cornwell’s face as he whined and started of his sentence with a row of ‘No’s’.

 

Sighing he leaned his head into his neck. “Aaron! Aaaaarooooon!” he tried to get the man’s attention and him to calm his shit again, speaking really calmly. “I don’t expect you to try it nor did I suggest it to you.” He said. “It’s obvious to me that you aren’t a gay bottom and don’t want to be penetrated by my or anyone’s penis alright. And the masturbation thing was just me telling you how you could theoretically do it IF you were curious about it. I personally have never been curious about this and never wanted to do that to my own arse. I didn’t suggest it to you either nor said that you should try it out or anything, I wouldn’t gain anything if you or some chick stimulated your prostate would I?” Ethan tried to reason but the librarian apparently still didn’t listen since next thing he knew was the other starting to shake him on his shoulder and the content of his stomach getting jarred, his cigarette nearly falling out of his mouth as he closed his eyes his face going blank as the other was yelling at him making himself breathless.

 

“Yes, I have. Sue me.” He remarked with a shrug when his friend got all hysterical at the thought that Ethan had fantasised about sticking his cock up his arse and penetrating him. “What did you think I meant when I’ve said that in a perfect world we would have had sex with each other after prom or that I was in love with you and wanted to be physical with you?” the red head asked out of curiosity. “Besides you’d be such a hot bottom with that sexy arse of yours.” The man informed him slightly drooling. “I am really flattered that you apparently paid that much attention to my dick and its size though, so I haven’t been the only one to look at your cock closely, you looked at mine too.” The ginger said and there was a teasing smirk appearing around his lips. “And I have just explained to you how it would go inside. P.r.e.p.a.r.a.t.i.o.n! Spreading your anus and making your muscle relax, plus using lube.” Ethan repeated and showed two fingers making a spreading gesture with them.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked a counter question when Wilson leaned his head onto his shoulder and asked him why he was so relaxed about the topic. Ethan patted the other’s back and then let his hand run through the silky silver hair that he liked that much, when Aaron suddenly looked up at him with total seriousness asking him if he wouldn’t even bottom for him a question that he had not expected. “Huh…” he made and looked at the other asking himself where that had been coming from now before he started to laugh wholeheartedly, losing his cigarette in the process before he abruptly stopped laughing, caught himself again, turned to his old friend, his face serious now when he answered in a voice as dry as the desert:”No!” The ginger shook his head slightly. “What about the combination of the terms ‘total’ and ‘top’ didn’t you understand exactly? I wouldn’t bottom because it’d feel like an entirely unnatural position for me to be in that I would strongly dislike. Just as my ex-boyfriends were total bottoms who never topped and found the idea unappealing as well, they just didn’t want to penetrate another man’s butt just as I don’t want to be penetrated.” He explained again and sighed. “Why do you even ask me this? I doubt that you, straight boy Aaron, are interested in my hairy man’s arse. I don’t see why this bothers you at all. It’s not like any of this will ever happen. You won’t have sex with me obviously; you won’t be my boyfriend even if I wish you would, so your anal virginity is secure. And my thoughts and fantasies are free; there even is a song about thoughts being free.” The red head wanted to know.

 

For a moment he stared at Aaron when he told him that there wasn’t any woman he desired in a sexual way currently. “Really.” He mumbled more to himself, thinking about that, coming to the conclusion that it didn’t mean anything, obviously. When the other told Ethan that he was glad that he didn’t sleep around much and that he was safe as he otherwise could catch plenty diseases he sighed and let his head sink rolling his eyes. “There would be that risk indeed, the same diseases that you are risking to catch too my straight friend! So I hope you’re playing safe as you appear to have been taking that risk more often than I did and I don’t want to have to worry about you getting STDs either!” He said patting Aaron’s shoulder.

 

When Ethan had flushed red telling the other to not say such cute things and to not get his hopes up the other responded to him telling him that he was perfect as he was that he was the idiot saying cute stuff and it made the ginger laugh and his hazel eyes peered into the other man’s attractive face. “The difference is that it doesn’t mean shit to you when I say that, you don’t fall even deeper for me because you don’t have one-sided romantic feelings for me in the first place, you wouldn’t want to be with me no matter how much I love you the way you are. But when you say this too me my heart races and my mind starts to think stuff along the lines of ‘maybe he’ll be able to love me someday after all’ or ‘there could be a chance that I am his exception couldn’t there’ and you make me fall for you more and make me want to hold you and kiss you and all those things you don’t want from me.” He explained running his hand over his heated up face. “Shit!” he cursed again.

 

 

 

Sitting in the taxi Ethan listened to the other answering his question. He was told that the other found his escape in books, that he wasn’t really social, well the ginger wasn’t either he had only managed to make friends in New York in the LGBT scene and except for Aaron never before. Telling him that staying had been just more comfortable and repeating he was content with his life. The red head nodded. “That’s good to hear. I’m happy that you have found happiness in your life and aren’t missing anything.” He said with a genuine smile.

 

The other had just answered this one question when they arrived at the destination and it didn’t escape Cornwell that the driver was referring to the other as ‘town celebrity’ and he gave both men a questioning look as he got out of the taxi after his friend. They stood in the small town’s small centre that Ethan knew all too well. “Here we are, the centre of the metropolis for the celebrity!” he jested and slung his arm around Aaron’s shoulder again, laying his head onto the other shoulder. “Why did that man call you that? ‘The celebrity of the town’? Did you win a singing contest or something?” he was curious to learn what this was about.

 

He took off his shoes before he entered and once inside the other man’s apartment he looked around and just waved it off when the other thanked him for lending him the suit jacket. Being asked how he found it while at the same time being told that he’d like the living room made him head for the living room with the words: “To the living room then!” and since it was a relatively small apartment it wasn’t difficult to find. Seeing the technology and the games the other man had ne nodded. “Yes, I do like your living room.” Ethan said and was already sitting in front of the game collection the other man had.

 

His eyes fell onto the ‘Dragon Age’ series which was one of his favourites and he just pulled it out of the shelve, turned the screen on, put the game into the console, grabbed the controller and threw himself onto the large black leather sofa. It was incredibly comfortable and he did like it even more. “I like your sofa.” He called through the apartment as he was looking at the start display as he got his tie off and opened the first few buttons of his shirt before he started the game and designed the individual character for the game, making him an elf and letting him look like Aaron. He unfortunately couldn’t give the character such a nice arse though.

[Ayakashiu]

It was obvious how affected the other still was, about what his parents thought of him, which wasn’t really unexpected. Aaron experienced first-handed, how hard it can be when your parents disagree with your life choices, but it wasn’t nearly as bad, as what Ethan had to go through with his parents. So he squeezed the other’s hand back, showing him his support without saying anything.

 

Ethan obviously wasn’t thrilled at the idea of playing football with them, which was a shame, but Aaron didn’t really expect the other to agree to it in the first place. “Yeah, going to a gym sounds even less appealing to me, than football does. Kicking the ball around can be at least fun, while dying under some weights sounds just pure torture! I’m totally up for a morning run, if you want a companion.” He deliberately didn’t form the last sentence as a question, not wanting to force his company onto his friend. He knew that some people prefer to run alone. He wanted to reassure the other that he doesn’t need to worry about making anyone awkward, but that wouldn’t be true. There were two or three guys that might give him trouble, even if the majority would be ok with it. He did feel the need to answer to the last remark. “I have to disappoint you, but I wear regular sport shorts. I don’t think my sexy arse looks good in those.” He put emphasis on the words his friend used, to describe his butt.

 

“Would you just stop it with the bananas?” He wanted to sound annoyed, but he was containing back laughter and he couldn’t. “The only thing you can spam me with, that has anything to do with bananas, are Franciscka’s cupcakes!” But his friend comment about tasting a lot of bananas in his life, made him curious about his skill in that department. The thing was, not a lot of girls were actually good at giving blowjobs and some refused it altogether, while Aaron found them better than sex itself sometimes. So he couldn’t help himself, but ask, “So you have a lot of experience with…tasting the bananas?” It was much more fun using Ethan’s words and he couldn’t help but chuckle, feeling like a kid again.

 

Ethan’s words about how he doesn’t see why Aaron is bothered by this, since any of this won’t ever happen, made him feel so awkward again. Of course it won’t, so why was he even talking about this? He wasn’t seriously considering it, was he? “But..but..” he struggled to find words, yet all his friend said was true. There was no reason for him to be so shocked about this, since Ethan was just explaining things to him. So why was he acting like it was expected of him to do them? “Ugh, guess I let my imagination run wild and I imagined it and it was scary.” He shot an apologetic smile towards his friend, as he straightened up. “I’m sorry, guess I still didn’t fully get how you see me. And you’ve been living with this all these years, while I just found out about this tonight, so cut me some slack okay? I do think I’ve been handling everything pretty good up till now.” The light-haired male tried to regain his composure, Ethan making him feel like a little boy again, looking so cool and experienced. He rolled his eyes before continuing, “Of course I checked your equipment, I was curious if I was bigger.” His smile turned to a mischievous grin. “If I would be, I would make so much fun out of you. Too bad, really.” Aaron didn’t really think it was uncommon amongst growing boys, to compare themselves to others.

 

He went quiet for a moment, before adding in a sulky tone, “You could at least be prepared to try and bottom for me, you know? Haven’t you been saying how much you like me and all that?” His ego was hurt by the firm rejection. His friend almost never said no to him, but things between them changed and Aaron didn’t like it. It was childish, but he was acting childish pretty much the whole evening, so why did it matter?

 

“You don’t need to worry about me either. I get tested regularly and I make sure my partners do too. And I don’t sleep around that much anyway. It was ages since the last time I had sex.” He was a bit annoyed at his friend, for calling him straight all the time. It was like he wanted to push him away, pointing out how different they are. But it was clear by the words that followed, how different they really were. The part that it didn’t mean anything to Aaron, when his friend said things like that, wasn’t true, but everything else he said was. The light-haired male didn’t find appropriate words, so he rather stayed quiet.

 

 

 

Of course Ethan heard the comment about him being a celebrity, when they exited the cab, but Aaron wasn’t ready to tell him about being a writer just yet. His friend would tease him to no end about writing books for kiddies. Maybe if he would be really popular, he wouldn’t have trouble talking about it, but as things were now, it wasn’t enough. The ginger was really successful in what he did and it made the light-haired male feel inadequate. So when his friend leaned onto him and wrapped his arm around him, Aaron felt his fight or flight response kicking in and he needed to get some distance between them. So he pretended to search for his keys and stepped away in the process. “He was just teasing me, that’s all. An old joke…” He hoped the other will be satisfied with the answer, as he busied himself with unlocking the door.

 

Once in the apartment, his friend made himself at home and Aaron was happy about that. He chuckled, when the other said he likes his living room and the sofa. “Thanks, I spend so much time there, that I need a comfty seat.” He finally found what he was searching for and he filled the glasses up, adding some ice cubes, he luckily had at hand. He picked up the glasses, deciding it best to grab the bottle too and headed to where his friend already started on a game.

 

He stopped behind the other, leaning over the sofa to offer him his glass. He caught a whiff of cigarette smoke, being so close to the other and he made a grimace. “You know you stink of cigarettes, right?” He walked around the couch and dropped his glass and the bottle on the table. He leaned down to take another controller, throwing it at his guest. “Make me a new character too, while I get something to eat. Eeem, I want a dwarf with fiery red hair.” It didn’t slip his notice that Ethan’s character had the same hair color as himself, so he wanted to tease the other a bit.

 

He returned to the kitchen to search for some snacks and he found popcorn. He dropped the bowl he filled up on the table too, grabbing some popcorn, before situating himself on the sofa next to his friend. It felt exactly like old times.

[-Hideki-]

There was a small smile playing around his lips when the other man said that pumping iron seemed like torture to him and he preferred playing football. He rose up his brow a little surprised though when Aaron let him know that he would like to accompany him on his morning runs while Ethan was in town. Since he went to the gym he didn’t run often but when he did he usually went alone but then again if he was in that dumb town anyway he didn’t see why the other shouldn’t accompany him and he really did like to see the man’s body move. “If you want.” He said. “One could come to the conclusion that you want my eyes all over you though.” The ginger joked.

When the topic was brought to the attire the other wore when he played football and Wilson told him that he wore regular fit sport shorts saying that he doubted that his ‘sexy arse’ looked good in them Cornwell shrugged. “Your arse looks good in everything.” He remarked. “But when we go running you could wear tight jogging shorts for me would you? It’d be a good stimulation for my blood circulation.” Ethan teased his friend obviously kidding again although it definitely wasn’t a lie, it would send his blood rushing, rushing out of his head and down into his cock.

 

That the other tried to not laugh about his banana comments while totally losing this battle made him laugh even more. “You’re like totally laughing man!” he pointed out and when the other said that the only thing he could spam him with banana wise would be those cupcakes he made a mental note to buy one of those and stick a whole banana into it, take a photo and send it to him and that genius idea alone made him continue to laugh. He was just wiping away the tears of laughter when the silver haired male suddenly looked at him this curiously and interestedly and Cornwell was asking himself what the hell he was thinking about. It got clear to him though when the other half stated, half asked that he had a lot of experience tasting ‘bananas’. Of course he had. He had had long term boyfriends and dates and they obviously had sucked each other’s dicks, they had also liked to do 69 a lot. The ginger raised an eyebrow and looked at Aaron a little sceptically and curiously at that question. “Obviously. I had boyfriends, I told you didn’t I?” He stated. “I like tasting ‘bananas’ and having mine tasted, also simultaneously.” The man winked with a chuckle. “Why?” he wanted to know why the other had wanted him to confirm that or why he cared about his experience giving head anyway.

 

The ginger found it amusing how Aaron acted and how he stuttered faced with the question why he was even bothered by something that wouldn’t happen and he just grinned at him watching how he struggled to find any words. When he did speak the amusement died from his face and it was like something had hit him into his stomach, he felt like his organs were clenched. Why did it hurt him that much when the other said that he had imagined them having sex and it had been scary to him! Scary! Fucking scary! As in terrifying! Threatening! Grossing him out! To the point where he had panicked and freaked out a little! There was an unhappy chuckle coming from him and his body looked tense while his face was blank and there was some sad glance in his eyes. But he didn’t look at the other man anyway but looked away from him. “I didn’t mean to terrify you with such a horrifying scenario that it appears to be to you. I didn’t think…. I should have known. Sorry.” He just said in a serious tone of voice. “I was in a sense just glad that I could be myself around you that’s all. I shouldn’t have ….”he just shook his head and let it be. When Wilson said that he had just learned about all of this that night while Ethan had known all along and he found that he was handling the situation rather well the red head flung him a quick, slight smile. “You do. And I appreciate it.” He said genuine and nodded.

 

With a sigh he let his head fall into his neck when his old friend told him that he had checked out his penis solely to figure out whether his was bigger. “You just had to ruin that for me didn’t you?” he complained jestingly. “I know why you looked at it. You don’t have to explain it like an idiot. I was joking damn it!” Ethan told Aaron and listened to the other say that if his dick had been smaller than the silver haired man’s that he would have used that to make fun about him. “How charming! But we both know you aren’t bigger, your cock is smaller than average Aaron. I never cared though, I always found it really cute. It’s aesthetic too. I have no problem with small dicks, I like them too.” The ginger gave the other some of the medicine he now knew he had wanted to give him had situations been reverse with a cocky grin and a teasing wink. The red head wasn’t sure if the other was so much smaller than average actually though. He really didn’t care though. The size of his partners cock was irrelevant to him too, maybe because he was a total top. He had had both boyfriends with smaller and larger dicks than his own. Giving a blowjob was more convenient when the dick wasn’t too big though. He liked aesthetic looking dicks and he didn’t think he would dump a man over the size of his genitalia regardless to which side it differed from average.

 

One of his eyes was twitching in sheer annoyance as he looked at the other man listening to him speak like this in such a sulky tone like an entitled brat and it rubbed him the wrong way. All of this! What he said and how he said it. “No!” he answered again this time definite and affirmatively, dominantly in a louder and more clear cut way than the dry way he had said it in before. “I could not try to bottom and I would not try to bottom. Not for you or for anyone. And I would never want to be with a man who couldn’t respect my boundaries and no-goes and would try to talk me into something that I clearly stated I would dislike and wouldn’t want to do and that would feel unnatural to me and would weird me out!” Ethan made it really clear his tone of voice letting show that Wilson’s behaviour and what the other said irked him. “Yes, I have deep feelings for you but that doesn’t mean that I would ever change who and what I am for you because I wouldn’t and I certainly wouldn’t let you force your will onto me against my own will either. Understood!” he made that clear once and for all feeling like if the other would state again that he could consider trying to bottom for him in such a reproachful way when he had clearly stated he wouldn’t enjoy it and didn’t bottom before he would lose his shit. Not to mention how unnecessary this whole discussion was to begin with.

 

When his old friend totally seriously explained to him how he always got tested for STDs and that he really didn’t need to worry about him Ethan blinked his hazel eyes rather surprised. He had understood his comment as the other thinking that because Ethan was gay he was more prone to catching STDs would he not be such a monogamous guy. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone made that assumption. How often had he heard the towns people say stuff like ‘all gay men have aids’ back when he had been a teen. That had been the reason he had emphasised the other man’s straightness and that he could catch then same diseases. Turned out that the man just had sincerely been worried regardless of his sexual orientation though and the red head felt a little like a paranoid idiot as he listened.

 

 

 

 

Upon asking the other about the ‘celebrity’ remark the other suddenly got all distanced and actually brought literal, physical distance between them, telling him that the man had just been teasing him and it had been a joke. “Is that so Mister Superstar, I don’t believe it.” Cornwell said. “And since you don’t want to tell me about it, it must be something incredibly embarrassing too.” He concluded waiting for his friend to unlock the door. “You probably have been in one of those music casting shows on TV after all. Or has it been a beauty contest? Have you dressed in drag and are Miss Georgia now?” he made up absurd stuff to make fun of the other because he was acting so coy about whatever it was and was apparently too embarrassed about it to tell him.

 

After he had gotten comfortable on the sofa, relaxing while he was designing the character to resemble Aaron as good as possible his friend came back from the kitchen two glasses in hand. When the other leaned over to him like that there was the thought in the back of his mind to grab his arm and to pull him onto himself to kiss him but he of course didn’t do it, shoved that popped up thought aside although his heart was racing because the other was so close and gazed into the sea blue eyes instead when he took the glass with a smile. “Thanks.” He said and inhaled the smell of the whisky, letting it circle in the glass, it was a good one, and he took a gulp right away. His friend however screwed up his nose when he had leaned forward and was that close to him. And Ethan asked himself what was wrong and why he made such a disgusted face. ‘Did I sweat too much? Has my deodorant failed me?’ he asked himself rather nervously because he didn’t want the other to hate his body odour. It appeared that it wasn’t his body odour or his sweat though what made the other look at him like that as he was told that he stank, like an ashtray. “Yes, I know. But thanks for pointing it out that I am a nauseating, smoking smudge on the vest of 21st century’s clean society with my bad smoking habits and my stench even in some little town somewhere where the crows fly backwards. At least you smell enticing and that’s all that matters.” He commented rather sarcastically with a laugh at how the other had just went up to him and told him that he was stinking.

 

Ethan didn’t look at the screen – and that meant something – when the other was walking around the table and placing the bottle and his own glass onto it, then going to grab the second controller. The red head was thinking whether he should inform him that this was a game for one player and he had been thinking that they could take turns as he had not played it in a long time and just would like to do so again but he decided against it because the controller was down low next to the console and the silver haired had to bend down. His hazel eyes stared at the librarian’s butt when he was bending over and the jeans was stretching tight over it. It was getting hotter in that room, definitely, it wasn’t just him, but he could have sworn the other’s arse had just gotten even more tempting and more luscious and he tried to imagine him naked now, as the thirty-four years old he was and the mental images were making him feel a sting of heat in his groin and crotch. “Shit…” he mumbled but he couldn’t avoid his eyes either.

 

The controller hitting his chest threw him out of his thoughts though, thankfully, and Aaron was standing there with his face towards him, looking at him when he said that he shall make him a character too, that he wanted a dwarf with fire red hair. “You do know that I am bigger than you don’t you? In both departments as we have noticed earlier.” He teased and then bit his bottom lip slightly. “I would anyway though, thing is, it’s a one player game, I thought we could take turns. I just really like this game and haven’t played it in a while and the story is great too.” The man explained, now, after the other had gone and gotten the other controller.

 

While Wilson had disappeared in the kitchen again Ethan finished the character that he had named ‘Wilson’ that resembled Aaron incredibly well, even his facial features and started the game. It didn’t take long and the other man returned with snacks. Curiously the red head looked at what it was as he was kinda getting hungry. But when he saw what it was he wasn’t that thrilled anymore. “Popcorn and whisky?” He asked at that combination that just didn’t work for him. “Don’t you have something savoury? Like sausages, cheese or at least crisps?” he asked and then sighed, pressing the controller into Aaron’s hand. “Nevermind. You know what? Let’s order pizza, my treat.” He said and took his phone to order them a family pizza.

[Ayakashiu]

Ethan took him up on his offer to go running together and it made Aaron glad. Putting aside that it was healthy for him to move more, this way he would at least be able to spend some more time with his friend. His biggest fear right now was the other closing himself off from him again. He didn’t have much time with him, but he was determined to make the most of it. He scoffed at the teasing, but refused to back down. “I actually do own a pair of jogging tights, to wear under regular shorts when it gets cold and I just might wear them. I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to see your drooling face.” Aaron smirked, before continuing, “You shouldn’t give me ideas like that; it will be your own fault, if you’ll get all hot and bothered, running after me through the town.” The thought was actually really amusing to the light-haired male. Up till now, it was only him getting embarrassed or worked up, so it would be a nice change to make his friend flustered too.

 

“I should have known better than to admit my love for banana cupcakes to you. That’s what I get for trying to be nice, telling you about local specialties!” He was still unable to hold back his laughter. It was too nice laughing together, to be bothered by the teasing. “I know you said you had boyfriends, but it’s not like everyone just agrees to suck each other off. Or do they? ‘Cause if they do, I should have found myself a male lover ages ago!” Aaron wasn’t really shy when it came to talking about hiw own sexuality and he always told Ethan everything anyways, but a problem with being a writer and having a really good imagination, was that he easily imagined the things he was talking about in his head. So when his friend said he liked doing it, he got a mental picture of the ginger on his knees in front of him and it made his pants feel suddenly too tight. He fidgeted, trying to find a more comfortable position and figured, it would be best if he changed the topic, before his friend noticed it.

 

Aaron must have said something wrong, because the other visibly tensed and started to apologize. He felt horrible, seeing the change in the other, and he needed to fix it. “No! I didn’t mean scary as in ‘I’ll have nightmares because of it,’ just that it’s something I never thought about before. And as a grown man, who considers himself experienced, it was a bit intimidating, since I have zero knowledge about it.” He was trying to think of words, that would convey to his friend what he was actually feeling, but it was hard. “Just, be yourself around me, ‘kay? I would never, ever want to make you feel like you need to act differently around me! And you know I don’t act my age and say everything that’s on my mind without a filter, when I’m around you, so just don’t mind me when I’m like that.” He hoped that would be enough and that his friend will understand.

 

Ethan complained that the light-haired male ruined the fact, he checked his dick out too, for him and Aaron couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, I live just for that! To ruin things for you!” His musings were soon cut off, as the other made fun of his own size. His mouth turned into a big ‘o’, before he jumped on his friend, wrapping one arm around his throat in a wrestling grip, but taking care it wasn’t too tight to restrict the other’s breathing. “You did not just say my dick is cute! Take it back! I'm not letting you go, until you apologize.” He could get over someone calling him small, but cute? His ego definitely took a big hit by that.

 

Another hit to his ego was, when his friend refused to even consider his suggestion. He only said it, because he was disgruntled, but it was clearly a big thing for Ethan. He felt like being scolded again and just nodded, to show the other he understood. It was the same as with him and all those girls, who tried to make him do things he didn’t want, so he did understand where his friend was coming from. He made a mental note to not make any more comments about this, not wanting to bring discord between them.

 

 

 

Aaron wondered since when was his friend so observant? Probably always; it was Aaron that was too oblivious to his surroundings and didn’t notice anything. “Yes, I’m so pretty that they made me wear a dress and I won the beauty contest.” He said it sarcastically, but he wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal anyway. It was far more embarrassing saying he went to a beauty contest, than admitting he was a writer. With a sigh, feeling annoyed at himself, he added, “I’ll just show you later. It’s nothing really big though, certainly not big enough to call me a celebrity.” With that, he was finished talking about this. He will just show his friend one of his books, lying around the flat.

 

His friend just laughed his remark about cigarettes away, when he took his own glass. “Yes, you are exactly that, Ethan Cornwell,” was his own reply that was accompanied with the rolling of his eyes. “I think anyone would smell enticing, compared to you right now. And just so you know, you used to smell good too.” It was the truth; Ethan’s smell always reminded him of home. Like when he was away for a few days and then fell into his own, freshly made bed. Although he probably smelled differently now, then when he was a kid. Aaron tried remembering how many cigarettes his friend had, when they were sitting outside. Surely that wasn’t healthy, but it wasn’t his place to tell the other he should stop smoking.

 

The comment made Aaron avert his eyes toward the ceiling and shake his head. He was still annoyed by being called ‘cute’. “Yes, yes, we know you’re bigger, just get over yourself already. You are as grumpy as a dwarf thought.” He stuck his tongue out at his friend, before making a perplexed face hearing his next words. “You’re kidding me right?” He turned back and picked up the game’s case. “Seriously, I don’t get why all this new games can support online co-op and not local. There used to be so many games that had couch co-op, but now everything is online. I’m really getting old, huh? I wanted to buy Diablo, but the salesman convinced me this one is better. So much about that.” He actually heard some of the guys from football talk about this game, so that, combined with the salesman eagerness, made him decide to buy it in the end. But that was just as he was starting on his last book, so he never found the time or the enthusiasm to play with them. He had different schedule than most people, when writing.

 

He put the case down and turned back to his friend. “Sure, we can take turns.” If the other liked it so much, then Aaron wasn’t opposed to the idea of watching him play for a while. “But seriously, does it need to have the same name as me too?” He was referring to Ethan’s character for the game. He didn’t know if he should feel flattered or was the other just teasing him again. “Do you always play this game with a character that looks like me?”

 

Popcorn obviously wasn’t a proper snack for his friend, because he complained as soon as he saw it, even passing on the controller as he wanted to order pizza. “Dude, don’t be so snobbish! Popcorn goes with everything,” was Aaron’s retort, before he almost pounced on his friend, trying to prevent him from calling. He was a guest here and the light-haired male would feel guilty, if the other didn’t feel welcome. Also, leaving the guests hungry was a horrible thing to do in this town. “You just play the game, I’ll get you your pizza!” He managed to take possession of Ethan’s phone that was already ringing and he placed the order, as he sat back down to his side of the couch. He hoped his friend still had the same favorite pizza as he did as a kid, since that was the one he ordered. He told the address for the delivery and then hang up, returning the phone. “No way are you paying Ethan, you’re my guest tonight. Anything else his majesty would want with his whiskey?” he teased.

[-Hideki-]

Ethan raised one eyebrow when he heard the other man comment on his teasing remark about Aaron wearing tight jogging pants for him. His lips were curled up in amusement and there was a cocky glare in his hazel eyes. Their teasing banter was at a point where one could call it childish and stupid but Cornwell enjoyed it. He enjoyed their back and forth even though the subjects were different than back then it felt nostalgic and not nostalgic in a nightmarish, crippling way like that town did to him but it brought back the few light moments he had had thanks to his old friend back in the day and there was a warm familiarity that he felt around the other like an old man coming home to his wife from fishing with his one grumpy friend in the evening after sixty years of marriage or something. Just that they weren’t married, none of them was even near sixty and neither of them was a woman. “I see. So you don’t only want my eyes all over you, you want me hot and bothered. If I didn’t know better I’d say you wanted to seduce me.” He remarked with a grin pulling on the cigarette. “But you just seem to be one of the hetero guys whose ego it boosts to know that another man finds them attractive even though they’d never want anything from a male.” The red head concluded. “Either way I’d be delighted if you wore them. I’d carry those images of your arse in those pants with me forever and no one could take them back from me then.” He leaned over and breathed into Wilson’s ear, lips smirking cheekily.

 

It was a little funny to listen to the other and he shook his head. “It’s never everyone. The ‘a 100% of a groups does/likes this or that’ is always incorrect. There certainly will be gay guys who don’t suck dick or those who don’t want theirs sucked but I think they are a minority. At least I wasn’t with one yet. My boyfriend’s liked me to suck them off and they liked to suck me off and vice versa. It’s not just sucking a dick in itself but also the amount of pleasure I know my partner feels when I do it that makes it attractive for me to do so.” Ethan shrugged as he had never thought about it much. Giving each other head was just a normal part of his sex life and since he had started off with an experienced partner he had never had anyone who had caused him pain because he would have used his fucking teeth so it had just been incredibly pleasuring from the start and he wouldn’t like to miss it nor had ever thought that he could ever be in a relationship where he would have to miss out.

 

The ginger couldn’t hold back his laughter though when Aaron made that remark about if gay guys just agreed to suck each other off he’d have found himself a male lover ages ago. It was hilarious. And telling. “Your lady girlfriends didn’t seem to enjoy your dick in their mouths and giving you some proper treatment it seems. What a shame. Poor Aaron.” Ethan said in a tone that made it obvious that he was not sorry about that at all and that he found it extremely amusing and hilarious. He turned towards him, hazel meeting the ocean blue before they went down peering onto Aaron’s crotch. “I’d gladly suck your cock. I’d let my tongue swirl around the shaft with just the right amount of pressure and then I’d let it penetrate my tight throat and make you go week in your knees.” The man said in a seductive tone with a suggestive glare in his eyes before his look turned completely normal again and so did his voice. “If you were gay and into me that was. I don’t suck straight dick. I’d feel used and hurt if you’d imagined some chick while I did it.” He added dryly before a smirk came back onto his face. “My, my you just imagined some chick sucking you off while only talking about it didn’t you? You must really be missing and longing for having your cock sucked huh? You’re the one all hot and bothered now. It’s funny that you are the guy with the boner around me and not I around you this time.” He found it incredibly funny, the attempt of Aaron to hide it from him by shifting around made it even more obvious, how many times had Ethan tried to hide his boner from the other himself and Wilson had not been directly looking at his crotch then.

 

“You don’t have to say this to make me feel better. You haven’t said anything wrong.” Cornwell let him know pulling hard on his cigarette focussing and concentrating on the smoke to not focus on the pain he felt. “It’s still good to know I didn’t give you nightmares though.” The red head laughed dryly. The laugh continued. “Of course you have no knowledge about it. You don’t need to have any knowledge about how I have sex, it doesn’t mean you lack experience. I don’t know much about how you have sex either and I don’t need to know. Confronted with a woman I’d not know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to even touch her. So there you go.” Ethan told the other man and he smiled melancholically when he told him that he should be himself around him and that he should not mind the other’s unfiltered way of expressing himself around him. “I don’t mind. You can say whatever you want without a filter around me it is fine.” The red head assured the other. “It just hurt you know. To hear that what is something entirely positive, nice and intimate on my mind being so off putting to you, being scary to you. It’s alright, nothing wrong with what you said, it is what it is, you feel how you feel and I should have known as I said but … well I can’t help my stupid feelings for you either, you know.” He shrugged it off.

 

“It seems.” Ethan nodded when the other said he only lived for ruining stuff for him. What the ginger had then said to trigger the other and to show him that making fun about someone for their dick size wasn’t exactly uplifting did exactly that, it triggered Aaron perfectly and he sat there with a stupid face for a moment before he jumped the red head but not in the hot way. He felt the man’s arm holding him in a stranglehold screaming at him to take back the word ‘cute’ as a descriptor for the other man’s penis. “As sugar!” he added instead with a wide smirk not even moving much. “Oh well, you can hold onto me till dawn then as I’m not apologising.” The red head added and grinned. “I like your dick though. It’s aesthetic and fits your bodies proportions well.” he complemented him although this would probably not change the others hurt ego and pride when he had called his cock ‘cute’. Well, it had been a harsh one he could admit that but the other had just too smugly and proudly declared that he would have made fun of Ethan in a way that probably would have made him develop insecurities about his cock size if situations had been reversed so he just had to be mean for a second. The red heads arms wrapped around the other man’s body trying to wrestle him down somehow and get out of the grip. “We can certainly wrestle around again if that’s what you want. Just know that I can’t just shove a pillow between us and jump away, give up and hide my erection under that same pillow from you this time so you might as well feel a hardness pressing against your body in the process that you don’t want any contact with.” He warned the silver haired.

 

 

 

 

“Shall I call you Miss Georgia then? And did you get a little crown too? Would you wear it for me?” he mocked the other when the librarian sarcastically said that he had indeed won the beauty contest because he was just so pretty. “Maybe you should visit me in New York and perform in the bar together with some drag queens then, I suppose you’ll be the most pretty. Probably a little wiry and muscly but I think you’d still rock it.” Cornwell laughed loudly about that thought. He so couldn’t imagine the other on stage in drag. It was so absurd that it was hilarious. When the silver haired male finally said that it wasn’t a big deal and that he’d show him later a self-satisfied smirk played around Ethan’s thin lips! “I’m sure you’re just being to humble and it is great.” He whispered into the man’s ear.

 

His attempt to not dig deeper into the whole smoking thing was not granted to him though when his friend in a serious and hissing way told him that he was exactly what Cornwell had just sarcastically referred to himself as before Wilson went through with shaming him for his unhealthy habits. “Ouch!” he said when he was told that anyone would smell enticing compared to him. “That’s harsh. Even Bertram the homeless guy who sits at the corner on my way to work whom I buy a hotdog every work day!? And there I thought I’d at least smelt as good as him.” He made another sarcastic remark although it wasn’t exactly pleasant to have a man he was so attracted to telling him that he was stinking. It made his eyes widen in surprise though when Aaron let him know that he had smelled good to him back then too. “Really?” he asked surprised. “I thought it was only me who liked your smell, who found it enticing, who would have liked to use a shirt of yours as a pillow. I always thought it had just been because I was attracted to you in that way.” Ethan told him honestly with a serious face which he then wiped away with a forced grin. “But it’s over now anyway isn’t it. I’m still all over you and you find I smell like a carpet in an old pub.” He laughed, not exactly nonchalantly either.

 

The laugh when he heard that Wilson found that he was as grumpy as a dwarf was real. “I don’t think that grumpy would be an accurate term to describe me in the slightest. I’m actually a pretty jolly fellow for the most part. Nor are the dwarfs in that game actually all grumpy at all. Varric for instance is fucking hilarious alright.” Ethan said and then shook his head a little. “Have you even played the series?” he wanted to know and got his answer immediately after. “Smart salesman you’ve had there then. Would have told you the same! It is indeed better, let’s play it and you’ll see for yourself.” Cornwell winked. “I have worked in a games store myself once by the way. That was my side job back in college.” He added a piece of information about his life to it.

 

Cheekiness was to see all over his face. “But Aaron this character doesn’t have the same name as you. His first name is Wilson and your first name is not Wilson but Aaron.” He teased the other, patting his head. A laugh came from him when the silver haired wanted to know whether he always played that game with a character that looked like him. “Don’t be so full of yourself silly.” He remarked. “Of course not! I wanted to get over you and forget that I was in love with you after all.” Ethan reminded him shaking his head as the game started.

 

Now it was Cornwell’s time to screw his nose when his friend called him a snob and said that popcorn went with everything. “Urgh. No. You can’t eat sweets with Whisky it’s not snobbish it’s common sense and ruins the good whisky and you do have a good whisky here.” The ginger said and stood to call the pizza place but he was immediately pounced after he had declared he’d orde a pizza. “Oh boy…” he commented when Aaron fought to rip his phone out of his hand and insisted on ordering the pizza for him and Ethan sighed deeply, not understanding how he could be so stubborn about this but let himself sink down onto the sofa again when the silver haired pressed the controller against his chest. The ginger took it but he paused the game and didn’t start to play, he watched Aaron instead and his eyes widened a little when his friend ordered the bacon cheese pizza that place in that town made that Ethan had always loved to eat. He had even missed that sometimes in New York and had actually started to make such a pizza for himself.

 

He was returned his phone after the librarian had ordered and the red head looked into his blue eyes for a moment. The man had remembered his favourite pizza and ordered that. It was kind of cute. The ginger let his phone slip into his pocket as he heard Aaron declare that he would not let him pay for this, that he was his guest and he would pay. “I wouldn’t have minded to pay though.” He shrugged and it was true. When Wilson was mocking him, asking him if there was anything else ‘his majesty’ wanted with the whisky Ethan gazed into his ocean eyes rather intensely, his lips forming a warm smile as he opened them to answer in a clear, confident tone of voice. “………

 

….. You!”

[Ayakashiu]

At his friend’s insinuation that he is trying to seduce him, Aaron laughed, another teasing remark on the tip of his tongue, but the next sentence stopped him from saying it. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure, if it was ok for him to banter with the other in this manner. For him, it was really enjoyable to be able to laugh and joke around with Ethan again, but what if his childhood friend took things too seriously? Aaron didn’t want to hurt him, by getting carried away and saying something stupid. So instead of teasing the other some more, he said, “I will wear them, if you’ll behave.” He turned his head around so he was facing Ethan, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re definitely not behaving right now.”

 

Listening to Ethan use the word ‘suck’ over and over again, did nothing good for the growing tension in Aaron’s pants. “Yup, there’s a great amount of pleasure, I’m sure, if you’re as good as you say you are.” The sentence came out a little forced, but really, he was just a man, who didn’t get a good blow job in a long time. Probably anyone in his situation would react this way, especially if they had to listen to the ginger talk. He made everything sound erotic. “Ok, you really don’t need to find it that hilarious. If you must know, most of my lady friends didn’t enjoy doing it or were really bad at it. And yes, I love having my dick sucked on, so stop with your damn suggestive descriptions! How could I imagine a chick doing it to me, when you say things like that?” Aaron pulled a hand through his hair with a sigh. Well, his friend did confess of getting a boner around him before, so it wasn’t such a big deal, if the situation was reversed now, right?

 

He obviously didn’t convey his feelings well, since his friend still looked hurt. He didn’t like seeing the other like this and he didn’t know what to do, to mend the damage, made by his careless words. It was probably best to just stay quiet, because everything that came to his mind, would probably only make things worse. But he decided, he will research same sex relationships tomorrow; that way, maybe he won’t react the way he did right now and his friend will feel better around him.

 

Aaron’s wrestling skills didn’t impress his friend, who only teased him further. “I’ll give you sugar,” he let out through clenched teeth, tightening his grip a bit, but it didn’t make Ethan shut up. Instead of apologizing, his friend started to fight back, with a warning he might get hard in the process. They grappled for a few moments, before the light-haired male let him go with a sigh. “Fine, I’ll be the adult one here.” He shot his friend a cheeky grin, so the other will know he was just kidding. Ethan made it clear how he feels and Aaron decided it is best, if he doesn’t take things too far. But it was far too easy to get carried away, since the two always touched each other a lot and it would be weird, if he suddenly started avoiding all body contact.

 

 

 

 

“You’re such a baby, Ethan,” was Aaron’s reply to the other mocking him, before he added more quietly, “And of course I would rock it.” He was really starting to regret not telling his friend the truth from the start. Listening to the other making fun of him this way, was definitely more embarrassing! When the ginger’s hot breath touched his ear, he blushed a little. What was with Ethan and whispering in his ear anyways? Every time he did it, Aaron felt his body respond more. To cover it up, he rubbed his ear and complained, “Stop it, that tickles!”

 

His friend was trying to be sarcastic, about the whole ‘cigarette smell’ thing, but Aaron wasn’t sorry for saying what he did. Ethan was his friend, he didn’t need to pretend around him. The comment about the homeless guy still made him chuckle involuntary. “I don’t know how Bertram, the homeless guy, smells and I really don’t wanna find out! But I would offer him a bath, if he was my guest, so you can feel free to use it too. Then maybe, you’ll smell as you again.” The thought of Ethan getting all domestic, here in his flat, brought a smile to the light-haired male’s lips, before he continued. “Yeah Ethan, really. If I would think you stink back then, I would have let you know and I definitely wouldn’t spend so much time close to you. But I never imagined using your shirt as a pillow, I’m not a pervert like you!” He snickered, knowing full well that was a lie; he was a pervert.

 

Talking about taking baths, gave another idea to Aaron. “I don’t know where you’re staying, but you’re welcome to sleep here, if you will feel more comfortable. Mi casa es su casa, or something like that.” The invitation was sincere, since he wanted his friend to have a pleasant stay here and he knew far too well, how uncomfortable some hotels can be.

 

“Mhm, I am starting to get to know your jolly side very well tonight.” Aaron was referring to all the teasing, he received from the other this day. “I didn’t play it yet, because I was supposed to play it with guys I play football with. But I didn’t find the time, so you have the honors to initiate me in it!” His friend telling him about his job as a student, was an interesting information for Aaron. He whistled and commented, “Well just look at you. Used to be such a geek, but grew up into such a handsome business man. Maybe there’s still some hope left for me, if even you managed that.” He choose to ignore the remark about being full of himself, feeling stupid for asking that question in the first place.

 

To show how one could enjoy whiskey this way too, Aaron stuffed the remaining popcorn from his hand into his mouth and then took a sip from his glass. “Mmm,” he raised his glass in a mock salute, before putting it down and proceeding to take charge of ordering pizza. It didn’t escape him, how Ethan’s eyes widened at the pizza flavour he choose and he felt pleased with himself, for remembering this.

 

His next move was a mistake though, as what was supposed to be a teasing question, made Ethan turn serious, before confidently replying, that he wants Aaron with his whiskey. The way how there was no joking in his friend’s words, made the light-hair male nervous. He pulled his hand through his hair, feeling like a deer caught in the cross light. What was he supposed to say to that? “You can’t really eat me with whiskey, though.” He paused a moment, remembering their talk on the stairs. “I mean, you could eat me, you said you were very good at that and I don’t doubt it, but it wouldn’t really make you satisfied right?” Aaron didn’t know why he went there. Out of all the things he could say, he probably shouldn’t go and bring up that topic. But the other’s intense gaze and his warm smile did things to him. He didn’t want to say something wrong again. He laughed nervously, as the thought struck him, he might be misunderstanding what his friend meant. “I don’t even know why I said that, I’m such a pervert. You probably meant me as a company, right?” To top his awkwardness off, he was now blushing again and he really hoped his friend won’t get it wrong, but those hazel eyes staring at him, made it hard to think clearly.

[-Hideki-]

There was a grin on his face when Aaron told him that he would wear the tight jogging pants when they’d go running together under the condition that Ethan behaved. “Sure. I’m a well behaved guy.” The ginger said but his old friend was apparently under a different impression and it made Cornwell laugh again when he told him that he was not behaving right now. Maybe that was true. He was quite the tease around the other in the moment and it was a lot easier to approach that whole situation and subject in a teasing, light-hearted manner than getting all serious about it. It was odd and difficult enough as it was. Plus, teasing the silver haired had always been fun and that he could now tease him in that way, feeling comfortable and confident in his own skin was even better. “It’s your fault Aaron; you just make me want to misbehave so badly.” He couldn’t stop himself from saying that with a playful smirk on his lips poking the other man into his side.

 

Ethan was nearly rolling up and down the stairs in laughter when Wilson got all tensed and hot while at the same time pissed at the ginger because he was so amused about the silver haired being starved blowjob wise because most women weren’t keen on it for whatever reason Cornwell didn’t understand and didn’t care about. Aaron was outright scolding Ethan for making fun of him and talking to him so suggestive and descriptively. The man was bending over from laughter and because he was laughing too hard it took him some time to catch onto something the other had said when he had scolded him. “Wait, wait, wait….” He suddenly said raising his index finger, his voice still buoyant and amused but there was a certain amount of seriousness mixing itself into it. “Did you just say ‘how could I imagine a chick doing it to me, when you say things like that’?” he asked rhetorically. “Does that mean you actually imagined me sucking your cock now and got all aroused and hard from it?” the red head said it out loud and saying it out loud it sounded even better but also even more absurd. That the silver haired actually could get turned on from imagining him, Ethan Cornwell, his old friend, a man, sucking his cock was too much and it somehow felt like a win, like a triumph over an invisible enemy who had kept Aaron from imagining him in any sexual way at all. At least he apparently liked the idea of the ginger sucking his dick. And it also made it kinda tempting to initiate giving him a blowjob to see what it would lead to if it led to anything at all.

 

 

 

Grinning widely he looked at the other when he called him a baby because he was mocking him with this celebrity thing what he would not have done had the other just answered him honestly. His eyes were shining mischievously when Aaron mumbled that he’d of course rock the drag show in Ethan’s favourite bar at home. “You are Miss Georgia after all!” the ginger couldn’t help but to continue as it was too damn hilarious as to stop even though it probably was somewhat childish indeed. But the red head had never said that he wasn’t childish.

 

When Cornwell however had changed his attitudes and was whispering into the shorter male’s ear that what he had done was probably great and that he most likely was just too humble he could see the other man blush slightly what made him look so cute and even more tempting to the other. He had always liked seeing the other man blush, he certainly had a weakness for blushing Aaron as it always made him want to take the other man’s blushing face between his hands and kiss him. It got even more adorable though when Wilson rubbed his ear with a stubborn flushed face telling him that he shall stop because it tickled. A dirty smirk was forming on the red heads lips. “Where exactly does it tickle Aaron? On your ear or somewhere else too?” he asked and couldn’t help but to be a tease and misbehaving again.

 

Apparently their talk about the uncomfortable smelling like an ashtray thing was not yet over and his old friend was actually offering him or more like outright suggesting that he shall take a bath right here now to not smell like cigarettes anymore. The remark that he’d than smell like himself again was a little odd though because he didn’t just smoke since yesterday. “I’ve probably smelled like I do for over a decade now I supposed it’s safe to say that this is how I smell.” His hair, his clothing, his loft all of it smelled like the belongings of a smoker and Aaron had actually never thought about it. His boyfriends had tolerated it; the last one had actually smoked himself so he had smelled like cigarettes too. “I wouldn’t mind taking a bath for you if it would make you feel more comfortable around me but you’d have to give me fresh clothing of yours that I’d fit into because the clothing contains a lot of the smell obviously.” The ginger agreed to taking a shower if that would end the stupid discussion about his smoking once and for all or at least for that night.

 

What Wilson than said made him laugh again because he had misunderstood it completely. “No, Jeez, I didn’t think about that you might have thought I’d stink back then. I just assumed you didn’t. I honestly didn’t think about it today either before you screwed up your nose in disgust as if I’d stink that was.” The man let the other know. “I always thought that I must smell neutral to you, that my smell didn’t stick out to you not in a negative but also not in a positive way, I wouldn’t have thought that you have thought I smelled good and that you’d like how I smelled. While I definitely found your smell enticing and I still do.” He tried to explain what he had meant to the other man better, ignoring that he was called a pervert. Aaron’s clothes just had his smell on him so he had liked his clothing alright.

 

He had not expected the other man to then invite him to stay at his place for the time he was in town and it was certainly a nice gesture that he appreciated. “I’m staying in the local hotel and I appreciate your offer, I really do. And I would like to say yes but I don’t think that this would be a good idea considering the circumstances.” Ethan answered. Being that close to the other and yet not close enough the whole time without getting a break to have some space, to get a break from those feelings, it would start to soon get really unhealthy again. He had to be careful anyway or he’d soon be back at the same place regarding their friendship as he had been before and he certainly wouldn’t want to get back there. It was already difficult as it was and he knew he had to keep his distance or he’d be the one to get hurt.

 

“Hmm?” he looked at the other in confusion and raised his eyebrows as something in what he had said in regards to their lives had drawn his attention onto it. “Maybe there is still hope for you? What do you mean by that?” he wanted to know. “I thought you were fully content and happy with your life how it is now, that you weren’t missing anything!” he repeated what the other had told him earlier. “Why would you need hope for a change then?” he questioned looking directly into the other man’s eyes. “I’m also not sure if businessman was the right term for me. I manage large building projects in real estate, not just financially but also the planning and organisation.” He told the other and shrugged he had never seen himself as much of businessman really but maybe he was, he didn’t care either, he liked the job he had, he was good at it and he was making a shit ton of money so it was going really well for him career wise.

 

After he had seriously told the man that he wanted him with his whiskey when he had asked him in such a mocking way Aaron got all nervous and obviously worked up and Ethan could just watch it with a patient smile on his lips. To the obviously quite stupid remark of Wilson’s that he couldn’t eat him with whisky the ginger had just wanted to answer how he could kiss him devouringly and how he could get to taste all different kinds of places on his body with his mouth and tongue and offer him to show him exactly that, when the silver haired did something similar himself just that his mind had sprung to a specific action again: Having his cock sucked! And that he even came up with it regardless of his nervousness as well as how he talked about it actually sounded as if he would have liked the ginger to give him head, almost disappointed when he said that it wouldn’t really satisfy Cornwell to do so though. However the man was clearly still flustered and getting even more embarrassed at his own words he had said only a second earlier.

 

Ethan just watched him calmly while worked up and nervous, awkward Aaron was now doing another 180° turn and was stuttering - apparently trying to tell himself that the ginger had not meant anything sexual - something about not knowing why he had said that just now, that he was such a pervert stating that Cornwell had probably just meant as company. It was awkward, the man was clearly acting weird but it was cute too and it only made him even cuter when he blushed that furiously at his own stuff that he had said in return to the clear expression of the red head that he wanted him.

 

The hazel eyes weren’t looking away, they were still looking directly into those blue ones and not less warmly either. “No Aaron. You know what I meant.” He expressed calmly and composed but in a determined way. “I want you! Your mind, your heart, your body, all of you! I want you to be mine. I want to be close and connect with you!” Ethan said further. “You’ve asked me haven’t you? And now I’ve told you.” The red head stated and the smile was growing a little. “And I think I know why you have said what you have said just now too.” He let him know. “A desire! A want! One that you’re trying to suppress but that is still there. You want me to make you feel good, to suck your dick don’t you?” he asked and shifted, positioning himself differently on the sofa, so that he was directly facing Aaron. Ethan placed his hand onto the librarian’s knee and let it slowly slide up his inner thigh. “If you tell me, tell me what you want me and not someone else to do I’ll do it for you, what your chicks won’t, I’ll suck you off.” He told him. “There’s just one thing though, I want to kiss first. As my ex said I’m just hopelessly old fashioned!” Ethan let him know with a smile his hand caressingly running over Aaron’s thigh.

[Ayakashiu]

Aaron just couldn’t stay serious around his best friend. When the other poked him and told him what a bad influence he was, a snort escaped him, but he didn’t comment any further. They would just get into a debate whose fault it really was and it was a subject that the light-haired male wanted to avoid right now. It had the potential to make the light mood they achieved, turn sour.

 

Really, there was no need for Ethan to laugh so damn hard, while he was suffering. But Aaron couldn’t be completely annoyed with the other; on one hand it was enjoyable, seeing him in such a good mood. Even when they were still kids, moments like that didn’t happen so often. The light-haired male now knew the reason for his friend’s behavior back then and it made moments like this all the more precious. Still, he wished the reason for this wasn’t his own misfortune. “There, there, it’s not that funny. You can calm down now,” he said wearingly, while patting the other man on the back. But his friend picked up on the only thing, Aaron whished he hadn’t say. Obviously he wasn’t too distracted laughing his ass off, to not notice what the light-haired male implied. The only answer Aaron graced him with though, was a scoff. The situation seemed clear to him and he didn’t plan to say it out loud, just so his friend might tease him even more. They were so done with this subject. The only good thing about his friend’s fit of laughter, was the opportunity to calm himself down.

 

 

 

 

He really couldn’t win this teasing contest with Ethan. He tried, he really did, but the other was far more direct and he had a way to make the light-haired male flustered. He was still rubbing his ear, when he noticed the sinful way in which his friend’s lips curved. With the red hair and a smile like that, he really looked like a devil, a really handsome and tempting devil. “What’s it to you anyway? You’re only doing things like this, because you enjoy watching me suffer. If I tell you where it tickles, you’re only gonna torment me more, so my lips are sealed!” Aaron was aware, he sounded like a petulant kid, but he didn’t care. It was a bit unfair that he had to hold himself back, because he didn’t want to bring things too far and hurt the other in the process, while Ethan could go wild. He needed to think of a way, to get back at his friend.

 

While the thought of seeing Ethan wear his clothes, which would most likely be too small for him appealed to the light-haired male, he decided not to force the issue too much. “You don’t smell like this, it’s just that all the people around you can smell, is the smoke. I still remember how you smell, so trust me on this.” He leaned down again, almost touching his friend’s throat with his nose, before inhaling deeply. He rose up, a satisfied grin on his lips. “Yup, you still smell the same underneath all that.” It wasn’t completely true, since Ethan wore a different cologne now, his smell more musky and manly, but there was a familiarity there. Too bad that he could only smell it faintly, the cigarette smoke being the prevailing scent.

 

His jest about there still being hope for him, confused Ethan and he was quick to point it out. “It was supposed to be a joke, I didn’t really mean anything by it. I know you’re not a business man, but one could think that, from seeing you. And I am satisfied with my life as it is, but doesn’t everyone dream of being rich and successful one day?” Aaron contemplated for a moment, before deciding it’s probably the time he tells the other what he actually does for a living. His pay as a librarian wouldn’t last him long, since he was only there as a part-timer and the ginger would probably find out eventually. In this town, it was really hard to keep a secret, especially if no one knew it was supposed to be a secret – Aaron never wanted to hide his occupation from someone before.

 

He got comfortable on the sofa, pulling his legs up, before starting to speak. “Ok, don’t laugh, but I actually write books. They aren’t bestsellers, but kids love them enough that I can make a living from selling them. And sometimes, I dream of writing a bestseller, you know? But at the same time, I think that would be a bother, since there’s bound to be a lot of publicity involved and all that. That’s also one of the reasons I write under an alias.” He sneaked a peak at his friend, trying to gauge his reaction. “Also seeing you being so successful, I kind of feel like I’m 10 levels behind you and it sucks.” He followed his words with a laugh. “So maybe it will motivate me enough, to try harder on my next book and I’ll become famous one day.” His words didn’t carry the weight, but it was fun to get a bit competitive against his friend.

 

How Ethan cold just listen calmly, Aaron didn’t understand, but his fear of making the other pull back again, didn’t come true. His friend’s gaze never wavered, patently letting him finish and the light-haired male started to feel stupid. Again, he ended up flustered, where there was no need to react that way. He should just start ignoring his friend’s comments, but it was hard to not mind something that caused a physical reaction in his body. The light-haired male didn’t understand why he was reacting so much to the other, he just attributed it to them being so close as kids.

 

Until Ethan said he wanted him whole, body, mind and hearth, without any room for misunderstanding, Aaron didn’t really get it. Yes, his friend said he was in love with him and yes, he did tease him the whole evening, but the light-haired male got the feeling that it’s more a banter between friends and not his friend making a move on him. Like the other accepted they would never be together. But what he was saying now, didn’t seem like he accepted it at all! Aaron’s throat was suddenly dry and his voice came out more high pitched than it usually was. “We are close and connected already.” His argument was weak and he knew it, the problem here not being his mind or his hearth here, but his body. His friend must have followed the same trail of thought, since he pushed on, offering to satisfy him. Aaron would lie, if he said the offer wasn’t tempting. He tensed, as the other’s hand started to move from his knee toward his crotch. It was very distracting and he tried to remember why they shouldn’t do this again, but he couldn’t. They were both consenting adults and it would feel good to relax, after finishing the whole ordeal that followed writing a book. So if his friend was willingly offering this to him, would it be considered taking advantage? The light-haired male was strangely charmed by the hand, caressing him and couldn’t take his eyes of it, while his muscles slowly loosened and his body relaxed. All the tension that left his body, seemed to gather in his crotch instead, making him get hard painfully fast. He slowly nodded at Ethan’s condition to kiss first, thinking how that sounded reasonable, but didn’t move. His whole attention was on his friend’s hand, feeling it leave a hot trail all over his thigh.

[-Hideki-]

The grin on his face only got wider and he chuckled when the other man apparently had gotten it all wrong. “Enjoy watching you suffer? Torment you?” he repeated laying his head onto Aaron’s shoulder. “That is the exact opposite of what I would want to do or enjoy.” The ginger told him. “I should feel offended by you even suggesting that.” Ethan told him. “If you let me know where it tickled, I’d offer you to rub away the itch.” The man informed him the dirty smirk still present as he winked at the librarian.

 

When he was told that this was not his smell but just the cigarettes and that he didn’t smell like that the red head smiled slightly shaking his head. He knew that if he’d be able to stop smoking, what he had tried and had failed at before, that he’d smell differently again because it was indeed the smoke but he did smoke hence smelled like this all the time. However before he could explain what he had meant by that because after Aaron had declared that he still remembered how he had smelled – what was interesting to begin with after all those years since Wilson had not been in love with Ethan as Ethan had been with him – the silver haired leaned over and came so close. So fucking close that he held his breath for a moment and his heart apparently wanted to jump the other man. The skin on his throat tickled in an electric way when he felt Aaron’s breath as the man inhaled his scent ‘Oh sweet Jesus hell no’ the red head swallowed as his body was getting a little hot again. ‘Don’t fucking tempt me like that.’ He thought. Finally the other man moved away and told him that his own personal smell was still the same and still exited under the tobacco smell. “Good to know.” He grinned a little awkward.

 

While Aaron told him that it had been a joke when he had said maybe there was still hope for him the ginger couldn’t help but to think there was something about it that wasn’t and it got pretty clear to him that he had been indeed right the more the other man talked. The first comment about if not everyone dreamed of being rich and successful one day was already giving it away. “I didn’t.” he told him with a raised eyebrow. “I dreamed of getting to know the privilege of being happy one day. Of being able to be myself, live authentically without hiding myself and be accepted and loved and liked how I am. And I achieved that in New York.” The red head let the other know. “I also got successful and rich at the side even though this was never a primary goal or dream of mine, so I’m probably just an overachiever.” He joked as it was undeniably true that he was rich and successful.

 

What followed then was the other man telling him his celebrity secret that he had tried to keep from him finding out about before and when the silver haired man told him that he wrote books Ethan blinked his eyes questioningly asking himself why that idiot had felt like he had needed to tell him not to laugh or to even hide it. “Why would I laugh about you being a writer?” he asked because he didn’t get it. That he wrote books for kids didn’t change that. “I’m some geeky nerdy guy Aaron, I live through the stories other people created. Alright when it came to fiction I was more into games and movies and comics and all kind of visual media but still, why would I make fun of a novelist? I actually think it’s pretty damn cool. And it’s important for kids to read too.” He genuinely stated. “Can I read one?” the ginger asked then as he was curious what the other man wrote.

 

Being told that Wilson apparently had some kind of inferiority complex towards him when it came to careers he laughed wholeheartedly because he would have never thought this and found it hilarious. “Seriously?” Ethan snorted. “I am not at the highest position myself yet Aaron. I mean I’m glad if the prospect of beating me motivates you that much but to break it down to the actual point, my sector gets paid a lot better than the arts or any kind of social work. To overthrow me financially you’d have to write more than one bestseller or the new Harry Potter.” He told him and that was actually true. A warm smile was playing around his lips though when he looked at the other man. “Regardless, I hope that one day I’ll go into the bookstore at my street in New York and find your book in the display window as the number one on the bestseller list. If you’ll visit us in our city for a reading and autograph session I’ll make sure to show up.” The red head promised his old friend.

 

 

“Not close enough Aaron. There shall be no space for even a piece of paper between us and our bodies should be intertwined.” Ethan spoke against the weak argument in a seductive tone of voice. The other man had tensed up so extremely when he had let his hand wander from his knee to his thigh but as he continued to caress him he noticed how his old friend got hard incredibly fast from this little touch. It was amazing really. He wouldn’t have thought that this would ever happen and if he thought about it the librarian couldn’t find him unattractive or be opposed to him in anyway, he had to feel a certain attraction for him if the red head could get him into this state now the second time that night without doing much at all.

 

Then he saw Aaron nod in response to his offer to give him head accepting the conditions he had set and it made Ethan’s heart beat like crazy out of happiness and excitement. The ginger couldn’t have and wouldn’t have imagined that. Imagined that Aaron would want to have his cock sucked by him, would agree to kissing him. It was too damn good to be true. He’d probably wake up in that dumb hotel room and realise that he had yet to even go to that school reunion. Yes sure, Ethan had been a teasing flirt the whole time and he had answered in a serious manner to a mocking question and told the other man that he wanted him, that he wanted all of him but it had been true. Of course it was his wish since the feelings had survived through all of those years but he had never ever possibly thought that Aaron would actually respond to it and agree to getting intimate with him in a sexual way.

 

Although the other male had agreed he didn’t move, nor did he express what Ethan had made a condition and he wanted to hear him say but the writer was so nervous and tense and had a raging erection so the ginger would just change the row. Moving closer to Aaron hazel eyes gazed directly into the blue eyes while the hand that had been on the thigh formally ran up to Wilson’s waist grabbing a hold of it firmly pulling the man closer, his other hand grabbing his old friend behind his neck his face getting closer towards the other’s. The ginger inhaled the tempting smell of the shorter man, his eyes closed automatically when after all those years he had imagined it as a teenager Ethan Cornwell’s thin lips met Aaron’s soft and delicious lips. It was like his lips had caught fire as he kissed the silver haired male heatedly, deeply and passionately, pressing their bodies against each other holding tight. The man parted Wilson’s lips with his tongue that made itself way into the librarian’s mouth, preying on Aaron’s tongue rolling around it as if it was a hunt and an erotic dance at the same time. The wild and sexually loaded kiss made a fire burn down in Ethan’s crotch and he could feel how it turned him on and his body was reacting and getting into gear as well.

 

He never wanted to part lips again, didn’t want to break the kiss as this would probably be the first and only kiss the other would ever grant him but he unfortunately needed oxygen to survive so he broke the long kiss, leaving him breathless. Ethan looked into the other man’s ocean eyes intensely, letting them hush over the other man’s lips quickly before he leaned over again and kissed Aaron’s neck while his hand was rubbing over the silver haired man’s erect dick that was captured in its confinements. Ethan sucked on Aaron’s neck, leaving a mark on his skin before he pulled his lips away and breathed against the man’s wet skin on his neck with his hot breath. “Say it!” the ginger male requested while his hands were undoing the other’s belt, then unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers. “Acknowledge it! Acknowledge that you want me! Me to pleasure you!” he whispered into the librarian’s ear, pressing a kiss behind it, teasingly pulling on the hem of his pants only waiting to pull them down and free Wilson’s hard rod from its tight fabric prison and give the throbbing gorgeous cock the attention it was yearning for that badly.

[Ayakashiu]

When Ethan lay his head onto his shoulder and said he doesn’t enjoy tormenting him, Aaron’s face made a sceptic grimace and surely enough, his friend offered to ‘rub away the itch’ for him and winked. The light-haired male just rolled his eyes and shrugged, bumping the other’s head off his shoulder in the process. “You’re so full of shit. You absolutely love tormenting me! It’s probably one of your kinks.”

 

The debate about the cigarettes and how they stink, was obviously over, since all his friend remarked was ‘good to know’. Aaron tilted his head, a bit surprised that the other suddenly gave up, trying to see why that was. His friend was grinning, but it wasn’t his usual teasing grin, but more of an awkward one. The light-haired male first thought that the other got tired of listening how he stinks, but then he got the déjà vu from when they were entering his building and his friend whispered in his ear. He held his own breath the same, when his friend got close to him back then. The calm and collected Ethan wasn’t so hard to fluster after all and Aaron counted it as his first victory. Of course that was something he needed to rub into his friend’s face. He leaned down again, so they were face to face and breathed out, “Does it tickle you somewhere too, Ethan?” He couldn’t help but grin cheekily, finally getting the chance to tease not to be teased.

 

Aaron sighed at his friend revealing his own aspirations. “I am happy that you found happiness in New York, I really am, but I still feel guilty that you were so unhappy here.” He shook his head, trying to not dwell on that thought too much. It would only make him get depressed. He took a sip of his whiskey, before continuing. “Ok, you don’t have to rub it in, how rich and successful you are. It actually oozes out of you. The way you look, you couldn’t be more out of place in this town, surrounded by us mere mortals.” As he was talking, a teasing smile was growing on his face. He found the other’s cockiness amusing; it suited him so well.

 

“Gee, I don’t know. You tease me about everything it seems, so I’m all self-conscious around you.” Aaron scratched his head, trying to hide his embarrassment. “And you might still be a nerdy guy, but you don’t look like it anymore. You’re all cool and grown up now, while I’m actually still the nerdy guy. I work at the library and I even wear glasses now, so I couldn’t look more like a geek even if I wanted to,” he said mockingly, suddenly feeling down about how different they were. A thought crossed his mind, if they are this different, can they even make this friendship work? Or are their living styles so far apart now, that they would just feel vexed spending more time with each other? It was a disheartening thought and maybe that was the reason Aaron was thinking about becoming more successful; that way he could stand by his friend’s side as an equal. “Yeah sure, if you like any of them, you can have it,” he answered, distracted by his own thoughts, waving his hand in the direction of his working table to indicate his books were stacked on the shelf right above it. This negativity he was feeling, must be because he was tired. He wasn’t really getting enough rest this past few days and all this excitement around his childhood friend returning, only added to it.

 

“But you’re getting there, right?” the light-haired male said firmly. “And it’s not about money, it’s about what you achieve and leave behind, isn’t it?” He closed his eyes and rested his head on the sofa, not sure when he even started to think about achieving something bigger in his life. “I don’t even know why I said that, to be honest. I always preferred to go by unnoticed, so people leave me alone and I get to do whatever I want. Being a really successful author is exactly the opposite of that, so..I’m probably just tired and can’t think straight, that’s why I’m spouting nonsense. Just ignore me, ‘kay?” He opened one eye and looked at his friend, a lopsided smile on his face. “I do have the privilege of having my hobby for a job. I don’t need to work as a librarian, my books bring me enough money to live comfortably, but I love working there. Even writing; it doesn’t feel like working at all, half of the time. I don’t think I really wanna trade this for a chance of writing a bestseller. It’s your fault for making me all riled up.” Aaron chuckled, as he sat upright and opened both his eyes, feeling like he might just fall asleep if he stayed that way.

 

The closeness his friend was referring too, wasn’t the one Aaron had in mind, when he said they were already close. He meant more of an emotional closeness, while Ethan described a physical one and damn, he sounded so alluring again. He should make notes and then use this in his books; he would certainly want to read a book like that. Listening to Ethan’s voice turning seductive and his hand moving on his thigh, made him unable to think of a response.

 

He needed more time to gather his thought and decide on how to proceed, but he didn’t have it. Being an idiot, he nodded to his friend’s suggestion and suddenly Ethan was pulling him close, gazing directly into his eyes the whole time and it made Aaron mesmerized. There was this nagging thought at the back of his head, how he shouldn’t let things get too far, but he couldn’t focus on it. It disappeared completely, when his friend started kissing him and oh was he a good kisser! There was nothing slow and gentle about their kiss, instead it was like Ethan was demanding everything from him and Aaron didn’t remember ever kissing like this. He responded with the same eagerness, even though the rest of his body seemed frozen in shock. He felt hot everywhere their bodies touched. As Ethan parted his lips with his tongue, the light-haired man didn’t resist. The way his friend’s tongue played with his own, made him imagine feeling it on his cock and he let out a moan. The world just faded around them and when his friend suddenly pulled away, it left the smaller man disoriented and panting.

 

No! This was not what Aaron wanted. He wanted to feel the ginger’s lips on his own again and his tongue darted out, licking his lower lip, as he saw Ethan’s gaze travel down. The light-haired man was so pumped with adrenaline, he thought his heart will jump right out of his chest. He wasn’t used to kissing like this, not with any girl he hooked up with. Was it because he was always so comfortable around his friend and didn’t need to pretend? So he could just let go, not worrying about doing anything wrong? Aaron didn’t have time to think about the reason, nor did he care what it was, as his friend started kissing and sucking on his neck, while his hand finally found the way to Aaron’s erection. He couldn’t help but move his hips in synch with his friend’s hand, the friction feeling like heaven. But Ethan stopped again and his words threw the light-haired male out of his daze.

 

He blinked a few times, trying to grasp what he was doing, but it was hard with Ethan whispering into his ear and his hand undoing his belt. He just wanted to let go, allowing his body to take control, but this was important. Trying to get more air, he put his hands on the other man’s shoulders and pushed him away on arm’s length. “Wait,” he barely managed to get out, still breathless from the kiss. He always found girls who talked during things like that annoying and now he was the one doing it. He gulped hard as he met his friend’s gaze, having to physically force himself to focus on his eyes. “I obviously want you to do it Ethan, but is this really ok?” The last thing he wanted to do, was mess their renewed friendship up, because he was too horny. “Maybe we should take things slow,” he murmured, thinking he might cum just from Ethan kissing him like this.

 

Aaron suddenly felt a pang of guilt, since he didn’t want to take advantage of the other’s feelings like this. Ethan pointed out numerous time during the evening that Aaron’s straight and that fact didn’t change, but the last things the light-haired man wanted him to think, was that he was just using him for his own selfish needs. Was that what was happening? Aaron couldn’t think clearly, blood pumping in his veins from all the adrenaline, but what was clear to him, was that he didn’t want to hurt his friend.

 

The light-haired man buried his head into his friend’s neck, suddenly feeling so lost. On one hand he valued their friendship above everything and on the other, he never felt like this with anyone else. “Jesus Ethan, how could you make such a mess out of me with just a kiss? You’re really going to be the death of me,” he whispered, his erection straining uncomfortably against his pants and his lips still tingling from before.

[-Hideki-]

Ethan snorted and laughed at the same time when he got called ‘full of shit’ and the other man insisted that he did love to torment him and that it was one of his supposed ‘kinks’. “What do you know about my kinks Aaron?” the red head asked. “Of course you can always find out about them if you want to.”Cornwell offered the other in a suggestive tone of voice moving his eyebrows up and down in a jokingly persuasive way. The fact of the matter was though that the ginger had no kinks. Sure he had certain turn ons but the sex he had was just ordinary gay sex and nothing that would shock the mainstream or anything. If he thought about it maybe that was another thing his ex had found too conservative about him.

 

Apparently Aaron mistook his awkwardness for getting flustered or being embarrassed but that was not what it was, it was him fighting against his inner urges to touch and jump the other when he was doing stuff like that, enticing him, seducing him, and tempting him without even fucking knowing he was doing that. This clueless idiot! But Wilson seemed really self-satisfied about himself now and there was a smug grin on his face when he leaned close again, so close, so fucking close and Ethan’s hazel eyes were wandering to those soft lips that were way too close to his own, so conveniently close that he would have only had to move his head slightly forward to do what he had only done in his dreams and fantasies, kiss him and he was fighting hard against that impulse. Then his friend was mockingly asking him if it tickled him somewhere too in such a cheeky way trying to be a tease but he seemed to not evaluate the situation correctly or completely. Cornwell’s hazel eyes gazed up from the man’s lips straight into his eyes and one corner of the ginger’s mouth went up into a smirk. “Yes Aaron! It tickles. It tickles my urge to jump you.” he let him know directly and without flower coating it, patting his cheek. “You’re playing with fire my cute friend and if you keep your lips that close to mine I have no clue for how long I can restrain myself from kissing you because it costs me a lot of discipline not to.”He breathed out, his chest feeling damn tight.

 

“That is by far the best and greatest complement I’ve ever gotten! Thank you!” Ethan said genuinely and he meant it not bothering about the other wanting to mock him with it. It was pure bliss to hear that he looked out of place in that town, that he was clearly and visibly not a part of it, that this towns ugly traces weren’t to see on him anymore, that he had been able to overcome what had held him down. When the other however told him then that he was teasing him for everything and that he had gotten incredibly self-conscious around him the whole time the ginger laughed amused. “Oh boy.” He said. “Really? Now you know how I felt around you all those years. I was so self-conscious around you it wasn’t even funny anymore and bordered on paranoia. Of course for totally different reasons but still.” The ginger let him know.

 

When the subject was led to their looks and the other stated that Ethan didn’t look in anyway nerdy anymore his eyes widened in surprise though! “What is it? Is it the suit?” he asked because to himself he had never stopped looking like the nerd he was but maybe that was because he knew who he was and saw just that in the mirror. Having the other man point out his glasses and that he couldn’t look more like a geek if he tried Cornwell looked at him questioningly. “You say that as if it was something bad.” The man didn’t understand it. “You look incredibly handsome and cute with those glasses, they suit you well.” the red head pointed out what was incredibly obvious to him. “I am certain that many people are attracted to you and your geeky looks but you are just too stupid to realise it.” Cornwell let him know and shrugged.

 

For someone who had wanted to hide his own profession from him not even an hour ago Aaron now seemed incredibly indifferent about Ethan reading his books and a frown was to see on Ethan’s face as he really didn’t understand what was wrong with the man all of a sudden again. The ginger sighed though and then smiled at him. “I’ll borrow some and read them in the hotel then if you don’t mind.” He suggested and looked at Wilson who seemed to be grumbling in his own thoughts, distracted from his friend who was sitting next to him.

 

What the silver haired described to him in regards to his job and wanting more success or not wanting it, bestseller or no bestseller was confusing and it was apparent that the other man had not thought about it before and seeing Ethan again had been the trigger for starting to think about it and question his own doings. “I see. I’m sorry that my suit and my job in real estate, what is something completely different than your profession, made you question what you want in life career wise.” The ginger commented sarcastically and decided to let the subject rest with that.

 

The way Aaron had moaned into their feverish kiss, how he had moved his hips to rub his hard cock against his hand more firmly had left its traces on Ethan and by the time he was kissing his neck, teasing the other by playing with the hem of his opened trousers and boxers, almost but never actually rubbing over the attention craving dick of the other man, waiting for him to say it, the ginger’s own dick was in a semi-hard state already and the lust and hunger was burning in him, glistering in his eyes. When Aaron did finally speak it was a ‘Wait’ paired with a hand that shoved him away, getting distance between them and it was as if the other was clenching his heart in his hand, had it been too good to be true after all? But why? The man was clearly turned on by him! Why couldn’t he just let Ethan carry him away with him? Instead he wanted to give him a speech or something and go back and forth with some unnecessary thoughts that he should just turn off right now. Why couldn’t he just turn this off and grant himself to feel good together with Ethan? Was he scared of feeling gay afterwards or something? The red head was getting annoyed and frustrated and he just wanted to keep going and had to keep himself from rolling his eyes hard when the other started to speak with his husky voice that screamed ‘suck me’, ‘take me’, ‘make me moan’ while the other articulated something different.

 

‘I obviously want you to do it’ was not as erotic and hot as he had wanted it to be but well, it was close enough and he had technically acknowledged it so he decided that it would count and he would have liked to kiss him again, to touch him, enjoy that moment while it lasted, enjoy a moment that he had never thought he’d actually experience ever but the ‘I obviously want you to do it’ came with an unnecessary, stupid question and now the red head rolled his eyes. If it wasn’t okay and he didn’t want to do it he would obviously not have offered it to him. But the other man was not done with the talking just yet and if he wouldn’t shut up on his own already Ethan would make him. “I could suck your cock in slow-motion but I don’t think it’d make much sense.” He mocked that ‘Maybe we should take things slow’ comment. What was to be taken slow about giving someone a blowjob?

 

Ethan had just decided to ignore this and had been about to pull down Aaron’s trousers together with the boxers when the man was suddenly leaning forward burying his face into Cornwell’s neck. It surprised him and made him freeze in his movements while the other whispered a complaint against his shoulder that made the red head chuckle and smile and shake his head at the same time. “Idiot!” he said and let his hand run through the silver hair before he took up the other man’s head, making him look at him before taking his face between his hands looking deep into his eyes. “You’re such a cute hopeless idiot!” he repeated. “Maybe Aaron, I can make such a mess out of you with just a kiss because you are attracted to me too! Because you like me! If you wouldn’t my touch would obviously not make you feel that way.” He told him clearly. “And now shut up already will you!” Cornwell told him and pressed his lips against his friend’s lips, kissing him devouringly, dominantly and deeply, their tongues wrapping around each other like mating snakes before he broke the kiss again.

 

This time he didn’t give him time to say anything though and pushed him back down onto the sofa, pulling down his trousers and his boxers making Aaron’s rock hard cock spring free, throwing the clothes somewhere else where they weren’t in the way. His hazel eyes peered at the man’s erection and he had remembered correctly, Aaron’s cock was gorgeous and it was even more enthralling when it was standing it its hard glory. Those silver pubes, the glans lurking out under the foreskin, thick veins sticking out and Ethan’s mouth was starting to water.

The image of the other man’s cock and its manly smell when he was leaning down was enough to cause more blood to shoot downstairs and Cornwell’s dick was growing further in his pants. He let the fingers run over the heated, throbbing shaft, pressing his thumb against the thick veins teasingly while his tongue slid over the man’s balls before he was taking them into his mouths, sucking one after the other while his hand was slightly, without much pressure, stroked over Aaron’s dick.

 

Letting Aaron’s balls pop out of his mouth with a lewd noise his tongue was then finally paying attention to the man’s cock, running up the shaft, teasing the pulsating veins before his tongue reached the head of the other’s cock, licking over the glans, pressing against the slit before sliding under the foreskin, circling around the glans vividly and eagerly, tasting Aaron’s dick, his eyes constantly peering deep into the blue ones, looking up at him. Ethan than opened his mouth, teeth covered completely by his lips and took in the tip, sucking on it while his hand stroked the shaft. Taking the hand away the ginger let Wilson’s cock slide further into his mouth, his tongue wrapping around and pressing onto the shaft until the other’s length was buried completely inside the man’s mouth, the tip hitting his throat. Cornwell started bobbing his head up and down slow at first, increasing in speed, letting the other man’s dick penetrate his tight throat, tasting the pre-cum it was already oozing.

 

His hand had grabbed the other man’s balls, squeezing and massaging them now while his head was moving. He could feel the other man’s heated dick pulsating inside of his mouth and throat as he deep-throated him staring up into the other’s eyes still, getting to see that pleasured face, the reaction of the handsome man’s erotic and aroused body, the thrusts of his hips into his throat and how Aaron was bathing in pleasure because of him and the red head man’s cock was fully hard by now, aching uncomfortably in the way too tight pants of his designer suit and he wanted to stroke himself while sucking the other off way too badly. He fought that want and urge though, from time to time stopping to move his head, teasing the glans before continuing again until he felt that the other was nearing his climax as the man’s cock twitched in this throat and he was increasing his doings some more to get him over the edge and make him unload into his mouth.

 

Ethan swallowed Aaron’s sperm the moment the other had ejaculated and he let the man’s penis slide out of his mouth, liking the remaining cum from the tip and from under the foreskin before he retreated from the other man’s body panting somewhat as he was leaning back against the backrest of the sofa. His body was aroused, hot, burning and his cock was throbbing hard inside of the tight pants and he rubbed over the tent slightly, letting out a small gasp, as he was uncomfortable leaning forward, taking the glass of whisky throwing it down in one gulp. Looking over to Aaron and then getting up from the sofa. “Where can I find the bathroom?” he asked him in a husky, aroused voice. He had to take care of himself. If his dick wouldn’t get touched soon he’d go crazy.