Faces Of The Past [Ayakashiu&Hideki] (Private)

[Ayakashiu]

The way his friend said Aaron doesn’t know about his kinks, but can find out, if he wants to, made the light-haired man intrigued. He remembered his friend saying earlier this the evening, he was left by his boyfriend because he was too conservative, so it couldn’t be something extremely kinky. If they would grow up together, he would know things like that about his best friend, so now he wanted to learn as much as he can in the short time they were given. He turned an inquiring gaze towards the other and asked with genuine interest, “What are your kinks?” Ethan just said he could find out if he wanted too, he didn’t say how, although the way he said it was filled with suggestiveness.

 

Aaron’s satisfaction was short lived, as his friend answered to his teasing in a completely serious manner, how he wants to kiss him right now. The light-haired male cursed inwardly at yet another failed attempt to actually fluster the other man. It would be obvious to anyone, how the smaller man was fighting a losing battle, since there was no way Ethan would get flustered by mere teasing. He was used to more than that, while it was Aaron’s first time being teased in this manner. It was different with women, since they let him be the dominant figure, but not his friend. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why the light-haired male felt so comfortable around Ethan; he could just let go and relax, while the ginger took the lead. It was always like that between them, even when they were still kids. The way Ethan patted his cheek would annoy him, if it was someone else doing it; it would feel patronizing. He jerkily straightened up, almost spilling his whiskey in the process, not wanting to give his friend an opportunity to tease him more. “Ok then, let’s not tempt you too much,” he said, before making his way around the couch.

 

“You’re welcome. I thought you might like it.” Aaron’s voice lost the teasing edge, really meaning what he said, but he shook his head, still finding it strange how much the other hated it here. Their experience of the town was completely different, even though they underwent it side by side. The light-haired male couldn’t really blame his friend though, people here really could give you hell, but the things Aaron remembered from his childhood weren’t the bad ones, but the good moments he had here. And there were quite some good moments, mostly because of Ethan. Guess his friend couldn’t really say the same for him. “Whoa, so is this your revenge, because I unknowingly made you suffer as a kid?” Aaron feigned being shocked at the thought, even putting one of his hands on his chest in a mock gesture, then laughter bubbled out of him, since he wasn’t really a good actor. But he used jesting to cover up the uncomfortable feeling of guilt, when the other said he almost felt paranoid. How could he missed that?

 

“I wouldn’t say it’s just the suit, although it does make you look better. It’s also the way you carry yourself I guess. You’re all grown up now, Ethan Cornwell and can I say you’ve grown up really nice. On the outside that is, inside you’re still such a baby!” Aaron started the sentence with a serious voice, but then a grin started to spread on his face, because he just couldn’t help himself making the last remark. “Cute? You call me cute too many times, it’s gonna destroy my ego completely,” he joked, before continuing, “I’m not too stupid to realize it!” The light-haired man paused, knowing full well what his friend’s answer to this will be. He totally was too stupid to realize it. “Ok, it’s so not my fault if people hide they are attracted to me! How am I supposed to know it then?” he pouted, not wanting the other to think he’s stupid. He was an air-head and sometimes he didn’t notice things around him as fast as others did, but that didn’t make him stupid. He pulled the glasses off, putting them down on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes, before looking up at his friend again with a smile, changing the subject “I do look better without them, don’t I? Everyone says I should get contacts, but they seem like a lot of work and I’m not sure I want to deal with that every morning.”

 

Aaron need to pull himself back to the reality, because now wasn’t the right moment to get lost in his thoughts. He can ponder on his life choices and what he really wants to do with his life when he’s alone. “Um yeah, sure. I would love to hear what you think of them! Constructive criticism is always good, just don’t be too rough with me, okay?” He smiled shyly, suddenly not feeling confident with his work at all. If there was one person he wanted to like his books, it was Ethan. At least the genre was fantasy and the other seem to like this kind of setting, judging from the game he choose. He shook off the last lingering feelings of inadequacy, trying to focus on here and now. The sarcastic way in which the other apologized, didn’t escape him, but he stayed quiet. He was complicating things, saying unnecessary stuff like this, but he never could keep his thoughts to himself around Ethan.

 

It was pure torture, being this excited and having his friend tease him, being so close to his erection but not actually touching it. Pushing him away, when he wanted to grab his hand and rub it on himself was even harder. When his gaze met Ethan’s, he could see hunger in them, but at his comment those hazel eyes rolled around, revealing the other’s annoyance with Aaron. He would be annoyed if the roles were reversed too, but he would feel bad if he didn’t make things clear. His friend mocked his suggestion of taking things slow and the light-haired male would laugh, if he wasn’t so turned on.

 

Being called an idiot wasn’t nice, although he was acting like one, but feeling his friend’s hand in his hair felt good. He just managed to mumble “of course I like you,” before the other ordered him to shut up and joined their lips together again. The kiss was the same as before, Ethan taking the lead and Aaron gladly letting him, making sure to keep up with him. The way they kissed, without restraints, made the light-haired male not do anything else. Before, he didn’t really like kissing all that much, but with Ethan he could do just this the whole evening. He wasn’t bothered by the taste of cigarettes, mixed with whiskey, because it just felt too good.

 

His friend had different plans for them though, as the next thing Aaron knew, they weren’t kissing anymore but he was pushed back and his pants were pulled off. He didn’t stop it this time, instead helping his friend undress him as quickly as possible, the fresh air hitting his cock, as it sprung free, feeling like paradise. Ethan took a moment to peer at his erection, which seemed to take ages for Aaron, before he finally leaned down and touched it. The touch was too light for the light-haired male, who need more stimulation right now, so he breathed out “Ethan,” to urge him on, just as his friend took his balls in his mouth.

 

This wasn’t enough and Aaron was getting impatient, so he shot a pleading look to his friend, wanting to feel his mouth on him already. It was a glorious sight, the ginger crouched over him, his tongue darting out and circling Aaron’s tip; he just couldn’t look away and Ethan looking back up at him, only made everything feel more intense. Finally his friend took him into his mouth whole and as Aaron felt the wet warmness wrap around him, he just barely restrained from jerking his hips upward. He could feel his tip touching Ethan’s throat and he would never forget this sight, hazel eyes staring back up at him, his friend’s mouth devouring his cock.

 

When Ethan started to move for real, the light-haired man let out an obscene moan, but he didn’t care. It felt too good to think about anything right now. He reached down and tangled his hand into Ethan’s fiery hair, wanting to touch him, not direct his movement. His friend didn’t need any direction at all, knowing better than Aaron what to do, to make him go crazy. The next time his friend deep-throated him, Aaron couldn’t help himself but trust his hips upward, feeling so good as the other’s tight throat squeezed around him. “God, Ethan,” was the only thing the light-haired male was capable of saying right now.

 

While tending to his cock, Ethan didn’t forget about his balls, touching them and massaging them, skillfully stimulating Aaron even more. Being pent up from before, it didn’t take him all this long to feel the release coming up. “Ethan, I’m gonna..I’m gonna cum,” he managed to get out between the pants and the moans, but his friend didn’t stop his ministrations, instead sucking on him even harder and Aaron couldn’t stop himself spilling into his friend’s mouth, his hips jerking upwards while his hand was still tangled into his hair. It was like all of his strength left him and while he lay boneless for a few moments, his hand lazily playing with a strand of fiery hair, his friend cleaned him up and Aaron would lie, if he didn’t find Ethan licking the remaining sperm off his member, hot.

 

The other moved away, looking clearly uncomfortable with the full erection, straining against his pants. He downed the whole glass in one gulp, before abruptly standing up, which confused Aaron. He was still in a post-orgasm haze, his body feeling too heavy to move, but the other’s movement sprung him into action too. He reached for Ethan’s hand, grabbing it, wanting to stop him wherever he planned going. The question made things clearer and the light-haired male raised an eyebrow up questionably, “You don’t want me to do it?” He let go of his friend’s hand as he pushed himself upright on the sofa, looking up to meet Ethan’s gaze. “I never touched another guy before, but it can’t be that different than touching myself, right?” he said, suddenly starting to doubt he could make his friend feel as good as the other made him feel, so maybe it was best if he did it alone. “But the bathroom is through the bedroom,” he pointed his hand towards the mentioned door, “if you really need it. I don’t mind if you stay here though.” Aaron felt so awkward, but if would be even more awkward for him, if his friend thought he needs to masturbate in the bathroom. He was sitting naked on his sofa, cumming into his friend’s mouth a few moments ago, so they were really past the stage to feel shy, weren’t they?

[-Hideki-]

Hearing Aaron asking him what his kinks were this intrigued and curious made the red head bust out into laughter. “The offer to actively figure that out still stands.” He didn’t leave any open question how he had meant that to the other anymore. Though there wasn’t much to figure out in the first place because he was not kinky but it was always good to create a little mystery around oneself wasn’t it?

 

When Wilson got serious telling him that he had thought Ethan might have liked to hear that he looked completely out of place in that town the ginger smiled but his eyebrows soon narrowed as he felt that there was just something off with the other man after the silver haired had told him this.

That didn’t even go away when Aaron jested about whether teasing him and making him self-conscious was his revenge because the other had made him suffer as a kid without knowing. Cornwell snorted. “Exactly that! It hasn’t to do with me feeling more comfortable and confident around you at all.” He answered sarcastically but then sighed, his tone getting serious. “I really meant what I said outside the school earlier. I don’t blame you for my past pain.” He repeated. “I suffered because I needed to hide, because I couldn’t tell you about what I felt for you and because you couldn’t love me of course.” He explained.

 

Being told that it wasn’t just the suit but also the way he carried himself but that the suit made him look better and that he had grown up nicely from that man, from Aaron, made his heart swell unnecessarily because he knew the man didn’t mean much by it, well at least not what Ethan’s mind desperately wanted to hear, still, after all those fucking years. “I’ll make sure to almost always wear a suit around you then. Good that I usually do anyway.” He made sure with a wink and laughed when the other remarked that although grown up nicely on the outside he was still a baby on the inside. “Well, I wholeheartedly believe that it is good to keep a youthful spirit. If my eyes stopped to shine when I bought the new lego construction that would be really sad. Losing that would just turn me into a cynic man I suppose because the world is so full of shit!” the ginger told him.

 

A snorting laugh came from him when the librarian told him that he called him cute too often and that it’d end up destroying his ego completely. “That would be the opposite of what I am trying to transport to you by that actually.” Ethan told him listening to the silver haired as he protested insisting that he wasn’t too stupid to realise it when someone was attracted to him. The ginger smiled. “If they actively hid it, like I did, that wouldn’t mean you were too stupid to realise but most people don’t do that. Then again, I was not exactly good at hiding it and really obvious and you still didn’t notice so yes, you kinda even were too stupid to notice back then too.” He decided with a chuckle.

 

Confused he looked when his old friend took his glasses off and placed them onto the coffee table looking at him with his blue eyes telling him that everyone told him he looked better without and should get contacts. “While you are stunningly handsome either way everyone has no clue what they are talking about.” Ethan directly and without a single second of hesitation said and took the glasses from the coffee table, looking at them and then putting them on himself. He couldn’t do it for long though because his vision got blurry and he felt dizzy. The ginger put them off again, stroked Aaron’s hair out of his face then and placed the glasses back onto the man’s face again. “I could tell you how I find you look with them but I don’t want to destroy your ego any further so I’ll just say that they suit you, it looks appealing and attractive to me. There is no need for contacts.” Ethan let him know with a smile.

 

Ethan couldn’t think straight anymore, his cock was aching for touch and sucking Aaron off had turned him on and made him incredibly horny. No one had touched him after his break up with his ex and it also had been maybe a week or so since he had taken the time to jerk off properly because it just had not fit into his schedule and his brain had been much too busy and stressed over the fact of returning to that shithole to even get turned on or horny.

 

As Aaron spoke the ginger expected the direction to the bathroom but he got a question instead, one that made his eyes widen in surprised and made him turn around to the man who was still laying on the sofa his lower haft exposed to him, sitting up as his blue eyes peered at him. What a question was that!? Asking him something this obvious! “Of course I would want you to do this. I just thought you would never … want … to….” As he spoke he realised what the other’s question meant and he stared at him, his heart racing like crazy, his crotch lighting on fire as he got even more aroused by the mere implication, the idea, that seemed to have gotten an actual option to him.

 

That the other had never touched another man before was clear to him, didn’t surprise him, didn’t bother him either and by the time the silver haired had started to awkwardly tell him about the bathroom the ginger was already undoing his belt right there, hastily, the button of his pants following before he let the expensive pants and the black boxer briefs sink onto the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, making a step out of them.

 

The breeze that greeted his rock solid manhood made him feel some chills but felt pleasant nonetheless.

His erection was at the height the sitting male’s face was and Ethan looked at Aaron who was eye in eye with his aching cock. It was pale and rosy and thick veins were sticking out, a fiery red bush of hair over it, looking like a flame that was flickering up to the man’s groin and abdomen disappearing under the white shirt he was wearing. Ethan’s legs were pale too, but snow white and didn’t have that rosy tone and covered by red body hair. Hazel eyes looked directly into Aaron’s blue ones. “Would you pleasure me too then?!” he spoke his voice husky and filled with arousal.

[Ayakashiu]

The other burst out laughing at Aaron’s question, so it was apparent to him that his best friend didn’t want to tell him, but instead just enjoyed teasing him. The light-haired male did consider agreeing to ‘actively figuring it out’, just so he could see the shocked expression Ethan would make, but in the end he couldn’t go through with it. In the end, he just grumbled in response, “It wouldn’t kill you to simply answer my question.” It did make him wonder what it was, if his friend didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he was into bondage or something like that, but Aaron figured he would just tell him if that was the case. Or maybe he liked wearing women’s lingerie; the thought did made him chuckle, although he knew it was highly unlikely this was the case.

 

Ethan’s words eased some of the guilt the light-haired male was feeling, but he couldn’t get rid of it completely. He appreciated his friend not giving him hell about it, although he could. “Nice to know you feel more confident and comfortable around me,” he replied to the sarcastic remark with a genuine smile. “And that you don’t blame me for the past. It means a lot. But there isn’t only one kind of love, you know?” Aaron was suddenly feeling very emotional, so he took another gulp of his drink.

 

“If you want to do the opposite to destroying my ego, you should just tell me how awesome I am and how much you missed me all this time! Calling me cute really isn’t the way.” Aaron couldn’t really believe his friend thought that he would like being called cute. On the second thought, he figured the other might just be teasing him again. “Oi, no one in town noticed you being gay, which means you must have been good at hiding it! So your argument is invalid and I’m not stupid.” He made a scowl before continuing, “And it doesn’t really matter if I notice or not, I’m not interested in anyone anyway. Women here are just annoying, that is, the unmarried ones. So I prefer to be oblivious to it.” Really, he sometimes wished he wouldn’t notice some of them at all, because they always made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to be rude to them by showing it.

 

The other’s remark, how he will make sure to always wear a suit around him, made Aaron raise a hand and say, “No, please don’t. I’m done feeling underdressed and I’m always running around in casual clothes anyways, so if people would see us together like that, my reputation would definitely plummet.” He said it with a smile, as a joke, not really caring what people think of his clothing choices. “I would prefer you being a baby to you being a cynic. This way I can at least tease you about it.” He smirked, knowing fully well the other was far better at teasing him, than he was at teasing his friend, so he needed to take every opportunity that presented itself.

 

Being called stunningly handsome, made Aaron’s heart skip a bit and he looked confused for a moment, before he chuckled when his friend tried his glasses on. “You look like a teacher now. I bet I would put more effort in school, if I had a teacher like you back then.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Ethan, handling a class full of children. The light-haired male got serious, when his friend touched his hair, pulling it off of his face and putting his glasses back on. He snorted at his word and shook his head, before replying, “You think I look cute with glasses? Well whatever, if I look attractive with them, I’m keeping them!” He accompanied the last sentence with a cheeky grin.

 

 

The question seemed to surprise Ethan, judging by the way his eyes widened and his answer made the light-haired male shrug, not thinking it’s such a big deal. Friends helped each other get off sometimes, right? And his friend just sucked him into oblivion, so it would be just plain rude not wanting to return the favor. “Well I never thought of it, but..I don’t mind.” It was the truth, he didn't mind. He touched himself countless times and this isn't all that different.

 

His friend decided to take him up on his offer, because he was eagerly getting out of his own pants, his erection suddenly right in front of Aaron’s face. For a moment, he thought his friend wants a blowjob too and the light-haired male gulped hard, as he hoped this wasn’t the case, because he was pretty sure he would suck big time at it. Not to mention he had a really good gag reflex. But as his friend spoke, his voice deep and filled with want, the light-haired male decided he will give him a hell of a hand job in any case.

 

He already knew the other man’s body hair was red, like his hair, but now that his erection stood right in front of his eyes in full glory, it looked so exotic. Aaron reached out and traced one of the veins with his finger, feeling it pulsate beneath it, before wrapping his whole hand around the other’s cock, giving it an experimental tug. His thumb started circling the tip gently, as he looked up, curiosity clear in his voice as he spoke. “My body really turns you on so much?” It was a heady thought, to make another male like this.

 

As he started to slowly move up and down, not applying a lot of pressure yet, he couldn’t help but stare at his moving hand, wrapped around his friend’s erection. The smell it gave off was so Ethan, just stronger and it seemed so familiar. Aaron bit his lip as he gripped the other’s cock more tightly, his pace still slow. He noticed a drop of precum forming on the tip because of his administrations and he traced the slit with his thumb, smearing it all over, before returning to the pumping motions.

 

The position he was in, was forcing him to hold his whole arm up and it was starting to hurt. Then he suddenly got an idea and before he could think it through and probably change his mind, he said, “This is an uncomfortable position, come here.” With those words, he grabbed his friend’s hand and pulled him down next to himself, as he climbed into his lap, straddling him. He kept his head bowed down as he did it, trying to cover up he was blushing, and to avoid meeting Ethan’s gaze and losing his nerve. He pulled his own shirt off and discarded it next to the couch, before his hand found his friend’s erection again. This way it was almost as he was jerking himself off and Aaron felt more confident.

 

He let his thumb slide over the slit and then circle down, before he started pumping again, this time with more force, finally gathering enough courage to look up. “You can touch me, if you want..” He let the words trail off, not knowing what his friend likes or dislikes, but he figured the key things were the same. He loved touching his partners, their curved hips and breasts, so probably Ethan would enjoy touching his body too, even though it wasn’t curvy and he didn’t have boobs. Aaron really didn’t mind feeling the other’s hands on himself either; from what he received earlier, he was sure that it would only bring him pleasure. He thought of pulling the ginger’s shirt up too, trailing the path of fiery hair, but he lost his nerve. Instead, he just focused on the pumping motion, interrupting it only to tease the other’s tip, as he grabbed the couch and leaned himself down, his lips coming next to Ethan’s ear, his voice a bit rougher than usual, “If you want me to do anything else, just ask me and I’ll do it.”

 

The other played with his balls as he was sucking him off, so the light-haired male though he might try doing the same too. He was sitting just a few inches away from the other’s cock, so he could reach in between and do it. Then he got a mental image of sliding lower and rubbing both of their penises together, which only served to arouse him again and he felt his blood rushing downwards. But he already got a mind blowing orgasm tonight, so he focused on his moving hand, to distract himself from getting it up again, squeezing Ethan's erection a bit tighter when coming up to the tip and quickening the pace even more.

[-Hideki-]

“That’s true. It wouldn’t kill me but it’d kill the whole fun actively figuring it out would contain.” The red head winked jestingly and looked at the other who seemed absent minded and suddenly chuckled. Ethan grinned at that figuring the man was thinking a whole lot of bullshit together in his brain now what made the conversation even more hilarious, especially considering that the man wasn’t kinky. Well, he liked when his partner cosplayed for him in bed but he had figured out that this was only fun when the other was as geeky as him and knew what the hell he was even cosplaying. It had been a disaster with his ex so it had been a whole damn while since this had ever happened and it wasn’t really kinky to begin with.

 

His eyebrows went up in surprise when Aaron suddenly said that there was more than one type of love and it made a faint smile appear on the gingers face when he saw his friend taking a gulp of his whisky. “I know.” He told him and he did know but it didn’t change the fact that the kind of love he had felt for him the man hadn’t been able to return. “But you know what kind of love I am talking about when I talk about that I was in love with you don’t you?” Ethan said a little melancholy in his voice. “It doesn’t help that you might have loved me platonically as a friend or whatever because I loved you romantically and platonic love was just not enough, too much to die, too less to live, you get the hint.” The man explained.

 

A snort came from him when Wilson advised him what to say to lift up his ego instead and ironically enough he found it cute again. “You’re really awesome Aaron.” He then said with a grin and placed his hand onto his friends head messing up the silver hair. Ethan couldn’t say he had missed him because he had banned the thoughts of him away into some corner of his mind to not think about him and to not long for him anymore, to not be in love with him any longer and after a while it had worked though the feelings had never vanished as he had learned now.

 

When the other was absolutely certain of having destroyed his argument presenting his analysis to him in such a confident way Cornwell busted out into laughter another time and he needed a moment to regain his composure to actually say something to this. “Jeez, you’re serious?” he asked shaking his head shoving some red strands of hair out of his face. “Yes, they didn’t notice that I was gay, I was good enough hiding it from them but I wasn’t in love with them nor attracted to them in such an obvious way. And I didn’t get boners when I wrestled with them or looked at their bodies in the water park. I didn’t have to try to hide my attraction to them I had to hide my attraction to you because you were the one I had deeply fallen for and I sucked at hiding that, not at hiding my overall gayness from the towns people.” Ethan explained what had seemed so obvious to him. “So my argument still stands like my dick back when I looked at you!” he concluded with a playful smirk.

 

Ethan’s face went serious when he heard his friend say that he found all the available women in the town annoying and that he deliberately stayed oblivious to their advances. He couldn’t help but to feel happiness in his gut because there were no women the man liked who could steal him from him but his brain knew that they couldn’t steal him anyway because the ginger had never had him and the silver haired wouldn’t consider him and it also knew that this was not going to make the man happy in the long run if there wasn’t someone whom he liked. “Maybe you should check out the neighbour towns women then or try it online.” He suggested and he wanted to hit himself in the face because he was doing it again, doing what he had been doing back when they had been teenagers giving Aaron advise to get a girl against his own motives and will knowing he’d feel miserable if the other succeeded just so that the other would be happy if only for a short while. “I’m still not cured…” he mumbled shaking his head at himself.

 

He chuckled when the other said that he looked like a teacher with the glasses and that he would have put more effort into school work if he had had a teacher who had looked like that and Ethan couldn’t help but to understand that as a flirtatious remark. “I wouldn’t mind being a sexy teacher for you.” Cornwell said coquettishly and then laughed dryly though. “Other than that I wouldn’t be a good teacher because I certainly would hate the students.” He admitted and that would definitely be the case. He had hated the students when he had been at school and he’d hate them now if he was a teacher.

 

The snort that came from Aaron when he told his friend how he thought he looked with glasses made him sigh. What was his problem with being a cute guy anyway? It was a complement. Ethan was into cute guys, many men were. “Good.” He said though when the other told him that he kept them if he looked attractive with them.

 

 

For a moment he thought that Wilson was regretting what he had said earlier on when now confronted with his erection as the man just looked at it and didn’t shift and his head was not getting closer to his throbbing rod at all. Then his hand reached out though and a finger poked one of the thick veins on his dick and Ethan was rather keen on figuring out what he would do next. It didn’t look like he’d return the favour and give him head but he might actually get himself to give him a handjob.

 

When Aaron’s hand finally closed around his dick then Ethan exhaled hearable when the other man gave him a tug that had something experimental about it and wasn’t all too confident. But what did he expect? Then he felt Aaron’s thumb circling his glans and a gasp came from him as sparks of pleasure were created by it shooting through him. Still the silver haired was too hesitant and careful at the moment and it felt like a tease especially considering how hard and aroused he was. That was pointed out by Wilson soon though as he was raising another obvious question asking him if his body really turned him on that much. “What is it with you and asking me to confirm the obvious?” the ginger just said in a husky voice, longing for more pressure and intense touch.

 

The feeling of being teased didn’t cease because the man still stroked him lightly, just building up the arousal and the impatiens in him. Just when he was finally grabbed more tightly and he left out a pleased hum did the other decide to play with the pre-cum that was starting to ooze out, stimulating the sensitive tip of his cock again before continuing to stroke him. Ethan’s body was getting hotter; his heart rate was on the rise when he heard the librarian’s voice again telling him that the position was uncomfortable. “Of course it’s an uncomfortable position for giving me a hand job; I thought you’d suck me off too.” The red head agreed and informed the other but he was already grabbed and pulled onto the sofa his naked arse hitting the cold leather.

 

With confusion he noted how Aaron was climbing on his lap, straddling him and his hazel eyes looked at the other man surprised and turned on and he couldn’t help but to stare when his old friend stripped off his shirt and flung it away, the ginger’s eyes travelling over the lean, athletic body he found that attractive and he wanted to touch the other man so badly, wanted to kiss him and feel him. His dick was then grabbed again and he gasped again as the grip was now with more confidence as well as the strokes and the red head started to pant, his lips slightly parted, his chest sinking and rising rather quickly while the pleasure was starting to electrify him and conquer his body.

 

Being told that he could touch the man he desired only added to the spark and he let one hand slide up Aaron’s naked thigh while the other hand was travelling over his abdomen, tracing his sexy muscles and feeling the smooth skin over the hardness of his manly body, letting the hand run up to his chest, his pecs, rubbing over the man’s nipple while he pressed his lips against Aaron’s again, feverishly and wildly kissing him, wanting to taste him and eat him up, his tongue dancing with the other’s heatedly while the pleasure was turning his head into mush, starting to consume him and he moaned into the kiss, his fingers pinching and pulling Wilson’s nipple. He had no idea if the man was sensitive there, Aaron probably hadn’t either, but a lot of men were, most of his partners had been.

 

When the kiss was broken a string of saliva was attaching them and his hazel eyes peered into the blue ones, pleasure on his face, his eyes glowing with hunger and arousal. Ethan was pressing his heated lips against Aaron’s neck, sucking and biting, kissing him, leaving one mark after the other, moaning against the now wet skin as he was stimulated further. Gosh, he wanted to be inside him, buried into his tight hole, choked by that strong muscle, bathing in pleasure. He wanted the other to ride his dick into oblivion, to go wild on him, see his dick dance as he was moving his hips on him vigorously but he wouldn’t. The silver haired had already made clear how he found the idea of the gingers dick inside of him. Scary! Not to mention that he’d have to prep him first and Ethan was craving his release.

 

As Aaron breathed into his ear in that hot rough voice it made him groan in pleasure and frustration at the same time, being told he only needed to tell him if he wanted him to do something else and he’d do it then. “Liar!” the husky voice of the ginger called out. “You’ve already made very clear what you’d think about that.” he moaned into the other man’s ear, biting his earlobe as his hips were continuing to thrust into his old friend’s hand.

 

 

A pleasured growl escaped him when Wilson suddenly grabbed his balls which had been neglected so far and it made him lower his gaze automatically falling onto their laps and his eyes widened a little when he saw that his friend was getting hard again what turned him on further. He was getting hard from touching his cock! And their dicks were that close to each other. “Your dick!” he exclaimed. “Rub it against me.” He half moaned half spoke but he was way too impatient to wait so he took the silver haired man’s hand from his dick, pulled Aaron closer by his hips and closed the his hand around both their dicks, pressing them together, starting to vigorously stroke their cocks, still thrusting up into the hand, rubbing his cock against the other man’s dick.

 

It made him feel even better, feeling the man’s heated cock, the pulse of the veins against his own made him dizzy from pleasure and he kissed him passionately another time, his thumb rubbing over both of their tips before stroking them again and he could feel how the other man was growing and getting hard against his own cock, gazing down, seeing their dicks rubbing against each other and the difference in size.

 

Ethan felt how he was getting close to the edge and he was moving his hand and thrusting up into it more frantically, his muscles were constricting and the pleasure was overtaking him completely as he bucked up his hips, his face torn in pleasure as he growled and ejaculated over both of their dicks and his hand. The red head was opening his half-lid eyes, panting heavily, his heart racing his hazel eyes gazing into the other man’s eyes. The tension had left his body and his muscles were relaxing, he let his dick slide out of his hand and just took Aaron’s as he laid his forehead onto the man’s shoulder while his hand was continuing to stroke and stimulate the other man until he came the second time, staining his hand too, their seeds mixing.

 

The man lifted his head up again and took the other hand that had been on Aaron’s waist and was clean to caress the man’s face, then grabbing his neck, kissing him breathlessly and claiming, filled with desire, peering into his eyes when their kiss broke. A playful grin was laying itself onto his face. “And? How was it to get sucked off by another man and rub your dick against his?” he asked and although his voice was playful and light hearted he feared the other would regret it if the happy hormones ebbed down and he might start to act weird around him now because this encounter had been everything but straight. A straight man wouldn’t get like this with another man. Maybe Aaron was not as straight as he himself thought he was and not as straight as Ethan had believed before either.

[Ayakashiu]

Hearing his love wasn’t enough for his friend, that it couldn’t really be compared to the kind of love the other man was feeling for him, rubbed Aaron the wrong way, even though it was true. It made him sigh in frustration, before saying. “No, I don’t actually know the kind of love you’re talking about. I’ve heard about it, read about it, seen it, but I never felt it.” It was something he never told anyone, although anyone who would look closely enough, would see that he always got over his failed relationships quickly and wasn’t really broken hearted afterwards. “Don’t say I have commitment issues again,” he nervously pulled his hand through his hair, before continuing, “but I never felt real love for any of the girls I was with. Sure, I had crushes, but in the end it was only because I was physically attracted to them, while mentally I never felt love for them. The only people in my life I can honestly say I love, are my parents and my brother, because they are family and I suppose it’s in my genetics to love them, and you Ethan, because you’re the only one who understands me and doesn’t make me want to be alone.” He risked glancing in his friend’s direction, afraid how he would take this revelation. “So in a way, you’re the only person who managed to break my heart, when you left me. All the girls, mostly just hurt my ego and I grew up to be this weird loner, who is still waiting for his first true love to walk by. So uncool, right?” He cracked a smile, feeling too vulnerable after baring his soul like this and wanting to cover it up.

 

Hearing his friend call him awesome and ruffle his hair, made Aaron’s heart swell in his chest and he couldn’t stop a stupid grin spreading on his face. “I know I am,” he said cheekily, the wide stupid grin still on his face. This moment made him feel like everything was like it’s supposed to be, like they were still best friends and they weren’t apart for all this years. It only took a short time for the blue-eyed man to feel this way and it was because they were always so compatible. The reason he took Ethan’s disappearance so badly back then, was because he always felt so connected to the ginger and he was the only person who ever became so close to him.

 

His friend was laughing at him again and asking him if he was serious, which annoyed the light-haired male to no end. “Yes I’m serious! So stop trying to find arguments that point to me being stupid already!” He almost yelled out, going back to behaving like a kid again around Ethan. He was the only person that made him act like this. Aaron couldn’t keep feeling annoyed for long and he chuckled at the comment the other man made, how his arguments still stands like his dick did. “Well good thing that doesn’t happen to you anymore, because a grown man getting hard from seeing me in a swimsuit,” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively, “that would be just plain embarrassing, wouldn’t it be?”

 

Aaron’s eyebrows almost touched his hairline at the other man’s suggestion, to try dating online. “You’re joking, right? I think I’m just gonna stay forever alone, thank you very much.” He was not that desperate yet, hearing about what you can find on the internet from some of the guys, who tried it out. His friend then mumbled something that he didn’t catch, so he frowned, trying to understand what he said. “Sorry, what? I didn’t hear you.”

 

Ethan saying he wouldn’t mind being a sexy teacher, made the light-haired man laugh. “I know you would be a horrible teacher, I feel sorry for the students who would have to suffer through your class already.” He smiled impishly at his friend, before adding, “It would be highly inappropriate to have hots for one of your students though. But it would at least help me get good grades, right?”

 

 

It would be a lie to say it wasn’t exhilarating to hear the ginger gasp at his touch and ask him why he needed to confirm the obvious, with that husky voice. Aaron still had trouble grasping his own influence on the other male, since Ethan seemed so composed most of the time and didn’t really show it. Hearing it made him smile though, feeling excitement rush through his body as he continued to caress the other’s length.

 

His friend agreed about the uncomfortable position, but then added he expected a blowjob. It made Aaron flush red, realizing he read the situation right at first, but then still decided to go with a handjob, and he was happy he was already pulling the other down and climbing on top of him, so his erection wasn’t in his face anymore. He would be clumsy and awkward and wouldn’t know what to do anyway, too distracted to really notice what Ethan was doing to him earlier and copy him, so this was the better alternative. At least stripping seemed to be a good idea, since Ethan jumped on him like a hungered wolf, his hands all over his body, finding his nipple and pulling on it. It made the blue-eyed male gasp from the pain and the shock it sent into his abdomen, but his voice was drowned in the kiss. It was hard to focus on the pumping motion as his friend kissed him so wildly, leaving him breathless, as he saw Ethan’s eyes glowing with want and the pleasure on his face.

 

The trail of marks the other was leaving along his neck, made him think that one of Ethan’s kinks they were talking about when arriving, must be biting, but he didn’t care as his friend moaned sinfully against his skin. Being called liar, made the light-haired male realize all the implications his offer held. While he was thinking about how else his friend wants to be touched, the ginger thought about other things completely! But any reply he might have had, escaped his mind as his earlobe was bitten. He let out a loud groan and the pleasure made him tighten his grip around his friend’s cock.

 

Ethan’s trail of thought obviously followed his own, as his friend ordered him to rub their erections together. But before Aaron could move, his hand was pulled away and his body pulled forward, his friend taking the initiative. The strokes were almost too forceful for the light-haired male, who wasn’t fully hard yet. But the feeling of being rubbed by his friend’s hand on one side and his rocking cock on the other, was too good and soon, Aaron was rocking his hips too in the opposite direction, his hands gripping the other’s shoulders as waves of pleasure rolled through him.

 

The ginger was first to come and Aaron couldn’t revert his gaze from the face he made as he came and the sounds that were coming out of his mouth. His heart was threatening to break out of his chest, beating so hard and his face was full of wonder, as his friend opened his eyes and gazed directly into his, before continuing to jerk him off, his head resting on the light-haired male’s shoulder, almost making it seem like they were in an embrace. It didn’t take Aaron long, before he finished the second time, blissfully happy now.

 

The way his friend gently caressed his face, made the blue-eyed man blush slightly, not used to such things. But the passionate kiss that followed, made him wonder how much energy does his friend have left. He felt spent already, not sure he can even stand up and walk to the bathroom right now. The grin that played on Ethan’s face was starting to get familiar, foretelling some kind of teasing remark. The question made Aaron laugh out loud, but then he matched the playful grin to the other’s. “Well, you really didn’t exaggerate when you said you have a skillful mouth, that’s for sure.” Then he added in a more serious tone, “It felt amazing. I really don’t wish to know how you got so good at kissing and all this, Ethan Cornwell.” He made a movement with his hands, indicating he meant the mess between them with ‘all this’.

 

Pointing out their cum that was everywhere, over their dicks and all over his friend’s hand, mixed so you couldn’t tell which one of them it was from, made him realize they needed a shower. “It’s much more messy with two guys, huh?” he said, finding the sight more erotic than he thought it would be. He started to untangle himself from his friend, his legs shaking slightly as he put his weight onto them. He looked around for some tissues and luckily he kept them under the table, so he reached down for them, grabbing a few for himself before passing the box to the ginger. “Here, I kinda came all over you, didn’t I? I would say I’m sorry, but you do look good like this,” he teased, wiping the small amount of sperm that landed on his body away.

 

The light-haired man wanted to ask his friend, how it was for him too, but he suddenly felt too shy. If he would get mocked for being awkward or for not giving his friend a blowjob, he would die from embarrassment. So he rather called out, “Dibs on the shower!” and then ran away like a coward. Ethan made him come twice, first with his mouth and then with his hand/dick, so in the end Aaron didn’t do almost anything. While it didn’t bother him that his friend took control, actually preferring it that way, it did made him wonder if Ethan felt the same. Maybe the ginger didn’t like his touch all that much and that’s why he pulled Aaron’s hand away. This thoughts ran through his head, as he made his way to the bathroom.

 

All of his clothes were lying scattered around the living room, so he walked straight under the shower, turning the hot water on. It felt so relaxing, the sound of water and the heat of it running down his body; it reminded him of Ethan’s hands touching him everywhere. He didn’t want to take too long, so he soaped his body quickly and rinsed it off, before drying himself with a towel. He didn’t bother drying his hair, since it would dry by itself until the morning, but he caught the sight of himself in the mirror and it made him stop in his tracks. His neck was covered in red patches, some of them having teeth marks still visible. He had a light skin and the bruises always formed easily, when he bumped into something, so Ethan’s sucking and biting while he was jerking him off left a lot of marks.

 

He rushed out of the bathroom, wrapping the towel around his hips, hoping his friend didn’t have to wait too long. “Dude, the bathroom is all yours. Fresh towels are in the cabinet and if you need anything else, just say. But seriously, did you want to see if you could eat me or something? I look like I was attacked by a wolf!” he pointed at his neck as he said that, perplexed look on his face.

[-Hideki-]

Saying he was surprised wouldn’t capture his reaction to Aaron’s come back at his comment about how platonic love was different than romantic love and how it had not been enough for him because Ethan was completely taken of guard as he had not in a million years seen that coming. The silver haired revealed to him that he didn’t know romantic love that he had never loved a woman but had only felt sexual attraction and desire and that had been about it. Continuing to state how the only people he had ever loved had been his family and him. It made the ginger’s heart beat so fast and so heavy that he could feel the pulse of it even in his finger tips and down in his toes. He got a warm fuzzy feeling and wings in his stomach and that was bad, he shouldn’t. But the man was sitting there with a serious face listening to the other man closely who apparently didn’t really dared to look at him directly and cracking a fake smile as he made a self ironic comment.

 

Reaching his hand out he placed it onto the shorter man’s shoulders and gave it a firm squeeze. “Uncool? No!” he answered clearly. “If it wouldn’t bother you and you were happy like that this wouldn’t even be an issue in the slightest, there are people who don’t fall in love and it’s fine by them. The problem I see here is that it does seem to bother you as you say you are waiting to feel that kind of love for someone, that there is a void that needs to be filled in your life and it makes me hope that you’ll find that love even though I would hope I could be the one.” The man spoke and his heart clenched at the idea that he wasn’t and even though he shouldn’t he couldn’t keep himself from asking. “Aaron!?” he addressed the other looking into the blue eyes rather openly, his heart beating like crazy, his hands getting a little sweaty. “You said I was the only one you’d ever felt love for except for your family, the only one to understand you, how does loving me make you feel, in which way do you love me? Would you say it’s the same type of love that you feel for your family? Does it feel the same as to how you love your brother? Or different? If different, how different?” he needed to know. He just needed to. Internally praying he’d not say he’d loved him like his brother then all hope would be gone. The hope that maybe he had romantic feelings for him but hadn’t realise it. Maybe they came without sexual attraction, in the same way he had felt only sexually attracted to those girls but not romantically attracted to them? Was that possible? Did it make any sense at all? And if so, could he become sexually attracted to him still, somehow? Could he realise that he was attractive? What the hell was he even thinking there he needed to stop, to stop immediately!

 

“Who said it wouldn’t happen to me anymore? There is no guarantee!” Ethan joked about himself when Aaron laughed and pointed out that it was good for him that he wouldn’t get a boner from seeing him all wet in his swimming shorts anymore now as a grown man as it would be embarrassing. Of course the ginger wasn’t that overly sensitive anymore as back when he had been a teenager but although grown he was still that, a man and a visual being and that sight still had the potential to turn him on. “Trust me though, it’s already been embarrassing back then so the embarrassment wouldn’t be new to me at least.” He stated with a wink.

 

Sighing he rolled his eyes in annoyance at the other man’s response to him suggesting to try to maybe find someone on the internet. “No it was not a joke and since when are we technophobic Aaron? But please let stigma keep you from trying this.” The ginger said shaking his head. “I met my first lover whom I went to live with in New York on the internet. And I met my second committed partner there too. Not over dating sites or whatever but over a forum for comic fans. We talked, we got along, we lived in the same city, we decided to go to the comic con together without any ulterior motives and it sparked. There, found love over the internet, lasted six years and it took me a lot of time to get over him because we just clicked incredibly well, we were on the same wavelength, shared the same hobbies and interests, the same fandoms and we were amazing together and in love.” Ethan told him with a smile as he remembered it and he wished to find such love again. “But fuck the internet right because the stigma and other people think that only losers date people from the internet and god forbid someone might think Aaron Wilson is such a nerdy looser.” The ginger made fun of the other. “Gosh, you’ve become stuffy!” he exclaimed. “Do what you want though; I was just trying to help you for your case certainly not for mine.”

 

 

 

There was a wide self-satisfied smile on his face and he was beaming at Aaron when he said that Ethan had not exaggerated his skills at giving head and that the blowjob and his kisses had felt amazing to the other man. It was a giant boost to his ego but it also made his heart swell and jump jolly in his chest and there was a small hope that this would not be the only time they would touch like that. Fuck, he loved him, he still loved him and he would give him a thousand blowjobs if he’d then realise that he was into him too, if he only returned his feelings. But at least he had enjoyed their encounter and had admitted to have been into the ginger male’s touch.

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the other man pointed at their sperm that was all over their cocks, Ethan’s hand and abdomen. It was an erotic sight but other than that not weird or special or anything and the ginger just shrugged when the silver haired man remarked that it was supposedly messier with two men. “Don’t exaggerate. And I have no clue if it’s messier I have never slept with a chick and I am not planning to either. I wouldn’t get it up for her anyway. ” Cornwell said what made one question rise to his mind again and he looked at the other man intently and questioningly. Aaron had had no problem getting hard for him twice. He had gotten aroused by only imagining Ethan sucking his cock, that was not straight but he feared if he’d point it out to the other directly he’d get mad or regret it or would lock Ethan out and never consider it again. Maybe he could hint it though. “I mean I am gay it’s obvious that I only sleep with men so that’s normal for me.” He said observing if the man picked up the hint or not.

 

Somehow he felt cold when Wilson stood up from his lap making him want to pull him back again but the man already got some tissues from a box reaching it to him with the comment of that he had cum all over him but that he wasn’t sorry as it looked good on him in that teasing way. “Thanks, I think I look really hot like this too.” He jested, smiling and wiped away their seeds from his hand and then his abdomen. The other seemed comfortable as he was joking around and it eased some of the fear he had had but then suddenly Aaron was starting to act weird, called dibs on the shower and off he was leaving Ethan confused in the living room asking himself what was wrong. Was the other feeling odd now? Did he suddenly realise what they had been doing and he was regretting it after all? Would he feel uncomfortable around him now?

 

All of that bothered him and he got a little restless and drank some more whisky as he sat there and waited for the silver haired male to return. When he saw the other man with wet hair and covered by only a towel around his hips Ethan bit his bottom lip and felt slightly turned on again, having to focus on what he had wanted to ask but before he could ask him if something bothered him the other man told him that the bathroom was now all his followed by a remark concerning the love bites he had left the man with. And the remark was done so casually that it surprised him after the quick disappearance into the bathroom the man had made.

 

Having gotten over that surprise though he smirked into the librarians face hazel meeting blue. “Yes, I wanted to eat you with the whisky because you said I wasn’t able to.” The man joked and then shook his head. “Jokes aside, I hope it’s not an issue. I’m not a woman and I don’t sleep with them either so I don’t have to hold back, I’m not used to holding back, I can become somewhat rough and animalistic in bed and my partners have the same energy. And about the marks, I like to mark the guy I’m with as mine so that other people see it, maybe one could call it a habit. Did I mention I was the possessive type before?” He winked. “I can understand how that surprises you though you’re used to women and gentleness and submission in such situations I suppose.” The red head guessed, laughed and shrugged.

 

Then he stood from the sofa and unbuttoned his shirt, exposing a toned chest, a happy trail, red hair around his navel and on his chest. “I’ll be right back.” The man said and made his way to the bathroom where he took a shower and he could still feel how his heart was beating and how it was fluttering in the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t believe that Aaron had touched him and had allowed him to touch him in such a way, that they had been intimate and it made him way too fucking happy. He definitely shouldn’t be that happy about this. He’d only fucking burn himself because it increased his hopes and his feelings for the man but he didn’t regret anything. Ethan would suck the other off and kiss him again in a heartbeat. He’d actually like to touch him again, it didn’t even have to be sexual, he just wanted to be physically close to him.

 

After he had cleaned himself he dried himself off rather quickly, his hair messy and wet and he took a dry towel to wrap around his waist before he went back into the living room placing himself next to Aaron onto the sofa, looking at the other man having to resist the urge of draw patterns onto his back with his finger and then pulling him over into his arms to hold him. “Aaron!” he said because he still had that weird reaction on his mind and the fear that the man would start to act weird and uncomfortable. “Does anything bother you? You ran off into the shower that abruptly. Just tell me if something irks you alright. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me now.” the red head spoke. “I liked it. Touching you and being touched by you that is! I would like to… can I hold you while we play the game?” He had not wanted to say the last part it had just slipped out and his eyes widened a little at his own request but he wouldn’t take it back either, his heart was racing again though and his toes dug into the carpet and then there was the ring of the doorbell. Hadn’t they ordered a pizza? There is was now!

[Ayakashiu]

Feeling his friend’s hand on his shoulder was comforting, even though he didn’t even realize he needed to be comforted. Aaron didn’t have someone to talk to about things like this, there was no one he felt enough comfortable around and when he was alone, he didn’t think about things like love. Before saying it out loud, it didn’t even bother him, but now he realized he was really waiting for that special person, just that he wasn’t in any hurry to actively look for it. He found it sweet, how his friend always thought of his feelings first, but then he started him asking question after question and the light-haired male got a bit flustered. He didn’t want Ethan to get the wrong impression, he just wanted to tell him how much he means to him. But he never thought his love for his friend was something more, best friends are supposed to be this close right? He couldn’t remember anyone else in the town, who was that close with someone, but he was sure what he was feeling was normal friendship.

 

He needed to stop his friend, who kept asking him question after question, without giving him any time to reply. “Whoa, stop, stop!” This time it was him, who was squeezing the ginger’s shoulder, trying to ground them both. He was still a bit flustered by the flood of question, from which it was obvious in which direction his friend’s thoughts are going. “I don’t even know how to answer all this. Em..no, I definitely don’t love you like my brother. He’s a little shit who does everything he’s told, but he does pull our parent’s attention away from me, so I do love him for that.” He grinned at the thought of his little brother hearing this; he would be so annoyed. But for a Catholic priest, the guy wasn’t so bad. “And I wouldn’t say I love you like my parents either, although I do love you like you’re part of my family. Does that make sense?” He was trying so hard to come up with words that would describe his feelings, while they wouldn’t hurt his friend, frowning because they eluded him. “You mean so much to me Ethan, or at least you did all those years ago, but I can’t say what you want to hear. I don’t think I’m gay, because I never saw any other man in that way. I never considered sleeping with another guy either.” The light-haired male stopped talking and the silence felt almost oppressing. He started intently at his friend’s face, trying to gauge what the other was thinking, but he couldn’t stay quiet long. “You were the most important person in my life Ethan and now that you’re back, I don’t want to do anything to hurt you or make you leave again. I don’t know what kind of love that is, but…” his voice cracked and he was suddenly on the verge of tears again, afraid the other will leave now that he said he wasn’t gay. “Please, just don’t leave me again,” he whispered, barely audibly.

 

His friend didn’t take his musings to heart, instead joking about the situation. “Good thing that it’s already getting cold outside, so we won’t be going to any water parks any time soon!” Aaron snickered, imagining them going, when they were already this old. At least they would be allowed on all the attractions now. Then he added, “I see. So in the end it would be me, who’s embarrassed, because his friend is walking behind him with a huge boner. I’m not sure how I would deal with all this embarrassment.” He had to tease the other a bit more, wanting to get him smiling. He didn’t realize before, how much he missed his friend’s smile and it made him really happy they were almost back to how they used to be. Almost…

 

His reaction certainly rubbed the other the wrong way, because he was obviously annoyed and even said he was technophobic. Being reminded of the person, who offered Ethan sanctuary when he left and hearing about his second oh-so-perfect lover, made Aaron irritated too. He couldn’t bring himself to like the first guy, since in his mind, he was part of the reason his friend decided to leave him. And the second guy just annoyed him. The light haired male always thought him and Ethan ‘clicked incredibly well, were on the same wavelength, shared the same hobbies and interests, the same fandoms and were amazing together’. So hearing his friend describe another guy in that way, made him jealous; not that he would admit that. So his response was laced with vexation too. “I didn’t say only losers date people online! And I’m not technophobic. It’s really nice that it worked out for you, but it’s not something for me and I thought you would know that. The mere prospect of having to deal with all these people online, is daunting, that is if anyone would even be interested. If not, it would probably only make me feel worse. So I’m sorry that I’m ‘so stuffy’ and not open for everything, like you are.” He sighed with frustration, not sure what riled him up so much, his friend talking about his past lovers or the fact that he called him stuffy.

 

 

 

Aaron knew he shouldn’t have praised his friend so openly, because he boosted his ego way too high. When he admitted it felt good, the other’s mouth formed a self-satisfied smirk and he couldn’t help but smile, even though he knew some teasing is bound to follow. But there was none. His friend also just shrugged, when Aaron pointed out the mess they made and made a comment how he wouldn’t get it up for a woman. To the light-haired male it seemed unnecessary for the ginger to point out he was only into men again and it felt a bit contemptuous. He himself did sleep with women and he liked it, but he didn’t feel the need to make comments about his friend’s sex life or how different it was from his own. So there might have been more edge to his words than he intended, when he spoke. “I’m not exaggerating, I’m just not used to it. And yeah, I’m aware you wouldn’t get it up for a woman, you made that clear before. But I think I mentioned how I never really considered doing things like this with a guy before, so I think it’s also obvious it’s not ‘normal’ for me.” He sighed, not wanting to ruin the pleasant feelings running through his body, by getting pointlessly worked up. So he did what he always did in situations like this, he made a joke. “Who would have thought my best friend would give me sex ed at this age, huh?” He smiled sheepishly, Ethan making him feel like a kid again.

 

When he returned from the bathroom and made the remark about his neck, his friend’s mouth turned into a smirke that looked self-satisfied to Aaron and joked that he indeed wanted to eat him. “Of course, you just gotta prove me wrong.” His own smile that formed at the teasing faded a bit, when his friend brought up the difference in the gender of their past partners again. He actually didn’t quite get everything the other said, as he was thinking that it really isn’t necessary to point out how he only slept with woman before; it made him feel inexperienced and immature. “Yeah, I definitely can’t say I wanted people to see what I did with my past lovers and none of them wanted to mark me before either.” As a high-schooler, he might have found hickeys exciting, but growing up he preferred not bringing attention to his bedroom activities.

 

His friend was already unbuttoning his shirt, which made Aaron check him out and he was not disappointed by what he saw, then heading towards the bathroom, when the light-haired male processed his words. Thinking about how Ethan got rough and animalistic in bed was not an issue at all, more like it was something Aaron wanted to see. But his brain needed a bit more time to process the sentence ‘I like to mark the guy I’m with as mine so that other people see it.’ The blue eyes opened wide when he finally got it and he called after his friend, who was already disappearing in the bathroom, “What do you mean you mark the guy you’re with as yours? Did you just mark me for others to see?!” The thought that his friend intentionally did this only for others to see, irked the light-haired male, who thought it was something done for pleasure. He definitely didn’t mind Ethan doing it, the sharp pain of the bites and sucking going straight to his groin, enjoying the feel of his friend’s lips, tongue and teeth on his neck. But now it made him shake his head, thinking how he will hide it tomorrow. There would be no end to rumors and people would nag him to tell them who did this to him. Definitely something he wanted to avoid.

 

Standing there in only a wet towel made him shiver a bit, his body cooling down from the previous activity. So while he waited for his friend to finish, he quickly grabbed some fresh clothes. He was living alone, so more often than not he was running around only in boxers, but he figured he should at least pull on some comfortable pants. He also picked up the clothes scattered around the living room, piling them in the corner to wash later. He made sure to straighten Ethan’s pants and put them on his work chair, adding a pair of his clean boxers. After that, he got comfortable on the sofa again, getting lost in thoughts.

 

It wasn’t long until his friend joined him again. The question if anything bothers him did surprise him, but it was typically Ethan, to worry about him. But he didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least. The request to be held surprised him even more and he blushed a little. It was a strange thing to ask for in Aaron’s opinion, but he wasn’t opposed to it. On the contrary, he was feeling really tired and the thought of being snuggled up the warm Ethan was very tempting. The sound of the doorbell cut him off, before he could form a reply and he wondered who it could be at this time, before it hit him that they ordered food. He clasped his hand on his forehead, exclaiming, ”Pizza! I totally forgot we ordered it.” He hastily got up, grabbing his wallet and heading towards the door, before remembering to call over his shoulder, “If you’re cold, you can grab some clothes in my room and you have clean boxers on the chair, if you need them.” The light-haired male wouldn’t mind his friend staying as he is, but he didn’t want the other to catch a cold either.

 

He jogged down to the entrance, leaving generous tip to the delivery boy, because he knew the kid was saving up money to go to the comic convention next month. Aaron knew everything about it because it will be the first one for the boy and he was so excited, he couldn’t shut up about it. Only when the kid grinned widely and winked at him, saying, “Have fun Mr. Wilson and make sure to be responsible,” before leaving, did the light-haired male realize he didn’t put any shirt on and his neck was on visible display. He groaned and cursed his friend, not believing that he was just now teased by a high school kid. At least the boy had other things on his mind and won’t spread any rumors around. He will need to be more careful tomorrow though.

 

He hurried back to his warm apartment with pizza in his hands, shivering from the cold. “Food is here,” he called out from the entrance, before making his way to the couch and putting the box on the coffee table. He wasn’t really all that hungry, probably because he was having more and more trouble keeping his eyes open, now that he was getting warmer, but he still grabbed a slice and popped down next to his friend. “It’s freezing outside, so can you warm me up a little?” he asked as an answer to his friend’s earlier question, feeling a bit embarrassed to say he wants to be held. “That is, when you finish eating.” With that, he stuffed his mouth full of pizza, not feeling really manly asking something like that.

[-Hideki-]

It was as though his heart was squashed and the formerly warm touch that had been supposed to be grounding him just felt like thousand thorns digging into his flesh tearing apart the skin when Aaron told him he could not tell him what he wanted to hear, that he didn’t think he was gay. What the man had said before about how the love for Ethan differed from what he felt for his brother but how he still would consider the other a part of his family was vague but this, there was nothing vague anymore and he felt a crippling pain in his chest before his feelings went numb and his face blank as he listened to the other man telling him how he had never seen a man in such a way and how he never considered to have sex with one either. Ethan’s hazel eyes looked into Aaron’s face but he wasn’t looking at him, he was looking through him. “I know that you hadn’t considered having sex with me or another man. I just thought for a moment maybe you would have loved me solely romantically while you have only physically desired those women. It was a stupid, absurd thought though so forget that I have even asked.” The ginger told him and retreated into his armour.

 

Ethan could feel Wilson stare at his face as if he was an attraction in a zoo whose moves and behaviour he studied but he didn’t care much. Neither did he care much when Aaron told him that he had once been the most important person in his life, that he didn’t know what love it was though and every other moment this would have made his hopes sky rocket, would have motivated him to try to pursue the other male further but now it was like it was bouncing off on a shield to not get hurt any further than he was again. He heard the other man’s voice crack before he said he didn’t want to hurt him or make him leave and then pleading Cornwell to not leave him again. “Why? I am not the one. Not your most important person! Just the fool to warm the place for that person when she will step into your life.” he asked. “You said it yourself; you can’t tell me what I need to hear because you’re not the same as me, because you don’t love me that way.” He repeated. “Aside from the alarming fact that I still have the same feelings for you as back then, I’d never intended to stay here in the first place, I hate being in this town and I hate getting hurt by my one sided feelings for you that I apparently had never gotten over with. I’ll go home as soon as my work here is done.” The red head told him truthfully.

 

A snort came from him and he crossed his arms in front of his chest as he looked at the other man. “You literally asked me if this was a joke. In a way that said ‘How could you even think…’ or ‘How absurd…’ or ‘Do you think I’m that desperate…’ when I suggested this, it’s not the first time I got this reaction in regards to this solution from someone. And that’s certainly not a reaction of someone who has neutral feelings about finding a love or companionship online or who just thought it wasn’t for him personally. So don’t try to make a fucking idiot out of me, I’m not dumb.” The ginger retorted. “And I am not ‘open for everything’ that’s ridiculous.” He barked. “Aside from that I am really glad that it worked out so perfect for me as well! This way I even had someone I could talk to when I was alone with everything as a teen and who fucking got it when I told him about all the shit I was going through here in this ratsnest and about having fallen in love with a straight guy, someone to give me advice and comfort and someone who offered to help me out of my situation when I told him that I wanted to get out of here. And even though I wasn’t the type for this kind of poly lifestyle he lived I never regretted having moved in with him and having fucked him.” Ethan told Aaron. “And I am even more grateful for having found the man I have been in a committed relationship with after him and another guy from university because I finally got to experience how it was to get your love returned, to have the one I loved loving me back with passion. He made me happy and that had been when I have felt wholly satisfied with my life for the first time.” He stated clearly with a stern and serious expression on his face.

 

 

 

He really had hoped that Aaron would get the hint, he had felt he had accentuated their sexualities and gender decently enough and multiple times but it seemed no matter how much he’d mention it the librarian wouldn’t catch on to it so he might as well be blunt and the other man gave him the perfect assist when he emphasised how he had never been thinking of doing things like that with another man before and how this was not normal for him. “You just did it with another man though, those ‘things’, those sexual things!” the ginger pointed out directly and with a casualty towards it. “And you had no trouble of getting hard and hot for me. You were quite into me, you enjoyed it, even getting erect from the mere imagination of doing those things with me, another man.” Ethan added and now he had basically pressed his old friend onto it with his nose, if he’d still not get it he’d be a hopeless case and the red head would give up.

 

When the silver haired started to joke around again Cornwell grinned. “If this is your version of sex ed this is my new favourite hobby. Let me educate you about sex some more will you?” the man winked at the other and they somehow were back at that teacher student thing again. “Seriously though, are you into teachers?” he asked the other in a jesting and playful tone of voice.

 

“So have I…” Ethan remarked when it seemed like the doorbell was saving the other man from replying to the ginger’s request of cuddling and his toes rubbed over the carpet as he watched Aaron go and get the door with a sigh, the other man telling him that he had clothing laid out for him. With a nod the red head put on some boxers and laid the towel aside before placing himself onto the sofa. Then again he was hungry and food sounded incredibly good right now. Especially because he had not been able to smoke his ‘post-orgasm-cigarette’ that he usually smoked!

 

Waiting for the other he couldn’t help but to hear over the conversation with the young male who brought the pizza from the apartment door and the hazel eyes flashed up and his lips curled into a smug smirk and Ethan wanted to congratulate himself for his decent job. And when Aaron returned with the food the ginger made an innocent face. “What a nice young lad that delivery guy!” he commented not able to hide the grin on his lips.

 

His heard skipped a beat though when the other man asked him to warm him up and he felt excitement rise in himself. However the librarian seemed somewhat embarrassed because he then stated after they had eaten and stuffed his mouth full of pizza. Ethan’s eyes lay on Wilson and he chuckled, slightly shaking his head before he grabbed a slice of pizza with one hand and then wrapped the other arm around Aaron’s waist, pulling him over, pressing his body onto himself, his hairy chest meeting the skin of the silver haired male’s back, holding him tight before he took a bite of the pizza. “I can eat and warm you up, no problem.” He said after he had swallowed the piece down and then pressed a kiss onto the librarian’s cheek.

 

“I didn’t only create the love bites for other people to see by the way.” He answered the question the other had in a shocked way shouted after him when he had been about to disappear in the bathroom. “It makes me happy that this would bother you though as it shows that you care, that what we did had meaning to you after all.” The ginger expressed with a wide and bright smile. “It’s something I do out of passion and pleasure in the heat of the moment, something that I like to do and that I want to be pleasurable to my partner. I want to leave my traces and reminders of myself and my touch on their bodies, I like to do that and I like to see my work on their skin. That I get to show other people that he is mine and to keep their hands off of my man is just a really pleasant bonus. Like the cherry on top of the ice-cream cone.” Ethan explained to Aaron nudging his nose against his neck. “It’s enthralling me maybe even more though that for a while now you’ll get reminded about me and how we touched whenever you see those marks, that you will think of me and that makes me rejoice you see.” The man confessed. “As I said, I’m a possessive man, I can’t help it. I want my partner to be mine wholly. When I’m in a relationship and someone hits on my guy I want to rip the rival apart into tiny shreds.” He laughed but it was true. He was possessive and jealous and territorial what had already shown itself through the crazy hate he had felt against those chicks Aaron had gone out with and dated back then. He had wanted to throw them form a cliff and had imagined other such awful things happening to them. It could get ugly that jealousy.

 

“Let’s watch a movie, I’m too tired to focus on the game now!” he then suggested. “The movie has to be gay though.” He made it a condition in a joking tone but he wanted to watch a movie with gay protagonists with the other for real. It wasn’t too much asked. He had always watched Aaron’s movies when they had been a teenager too after all.

[Ayakashiu]

As soon as he saw his friend’s face go blank, Aaron knew he said the wrong thing. Instead of being honest, he should have lied and said that he might love him that way. It would make Ethan happy and things would get back to how they were. But that would only serve to hurt his friend more, when he would realize their feelings aren’t the same. In the end, he would still leave. So the light-haired male pushed those selfish thoughts aside, not wanting to be the kind of person who only thinks of himself. He listened to his friend say what he has to say about this, before speaking again, “I am aware that I can’t make you stay here and I wouldn’t want to, because you made it clear how much you hate it here. But I do wish we could stay in contact, after you leave.” His voice was still shaky, not sounding as collected as he wanted to, but if his friend could stare right through him and close himself off, he could do the same. He was sure that Ethan didn’t think about how hurt he was, after finding out his best friend just disappeared without trace. He might not have been in love with the ginger, but it still felt like losing a part of himself and it had a big influence on his life.

 

Everything else Ethan said was true and Aaron didn’t plan to comment on it; it would only hurt them both more, if they talked about it. The fact remained that he liked girls and he couldn’t really do anything about it. The only thing he felt the need to add, was ”But you aren’t a fool, warming a place for someone else. Even if I would met that person, she would never take your place. No one could.” At least now, his voice stopped shaking, sounding more sure. Maybe because what he said was a fact and he didn’t say it with any other ulterior motive. It wasn’t so he would feel better about the situation or that his friend would, it was just the simple truth and he’ll be damned, if he would let Ethan think he was only good enough for him, until he finds someone else. He was his best friend and no woman could change that.

 

“What the hell?” the light-haired male breathed out, when the other crossed his hands, getting even more heated about this topic, claiming Aaron is making an idiot out of him. While usually he was laid back and preferred to avoid conflicts, he couldn’t keep quiet now. “I meant it when I said it isn’t for me, but not because I don’t believe people can’t find partner online, more so because it is fucking hard to do so! What I hate about online sites, is that a lot of people pretend or lie about themselves and some are just on there, because they are bored. And while I don’t mind others doing so, if they feel like it, it sounds like pure torture to me. I prefer to keep the amount of my social interactions to a minimum, but going online is basically just about talking to others! So yeah, I would need to be really desperate to put myself through that. Just because you had a great experience and met all those people, doesn’t mean I need to like it too!” Aaron just stopped long enough to take in a deep, calming breath, before continuing. ”We’re just different Ethan. While you managed to finally get the life you wanted after you left, I cried myself to sleep every night, not letting anyone get that close to me again. It’s hard for me to trust people; they make me want to lock myself in my apartment and not come out again. So let’s just stop talking about this, it’s obvious we have a really different views on the topic and I don’t want to fight.”

 

 

 

Aaron wasn’t sure what his friend wanted him to say, when he casually remarked how he just did this with a man. The light-haired male was aware of that, so it made him raise his eyebrows questioningly. It’s not like the ginger could be mistaken for a woman, he was too manly for that. The other continued talking about how Aaron didn’t have any trouble getting hard at all, how he was into Ethan and how he enjoyed it, which made the light-haired male feel guilty. Was the other thinking he was just using him for sex and would use the ‘I’m straight’ excuse afterwards? Because that wasn’t the case here at all! Aaron felt comfortable around the ginger and doing something like this, he didn’t think it was anything bad as long as they both wanted it. And he did ask the other if he was ok with it. “I admit, I didn’t expect I would react so much to you, but it’s not like I had any experience to go by. You were never so relaxed around me or teased me in this way before. But it’s not like I would do this with any other guy, it’s because it was you Ethan.” The light-haired male shrugged, not really knowing what else to say about the matter. His body reacted and he went along with it, but it didn’t cause an identity crisis for him or make him question his sexuality. He definitely still didn’t have any desire to have sex with men, but he would do this again with Ethan.

 

When his friend made the offer to educate him more, laughter bubbled out of him. Seeing Ethan grin in that way and make indecent offers, made his stomach clench in anticipation and he could never say no to him like this. “You’re such a pervert. But if it will be as good as tonight, I’ll definitely let you educate me some more.” It was obvious to him now, that orgasms made him stupid, because he definitely didn’t think things through, before agreeing. But the mood was too good to ruin it with overthinking things. “Hm, maybe I am. Maybe it’s one of my undiscovered kinks.” He grinned in a cat-like manner, before teasing his friend. “Why? Do you want to play a student and a teacher next time? I bet I would be a great student.” He never realized before how much he likes his friend’s dominant side, but now he was starting to notice it. Imagining his friend as his private teacher was definitely alluring.

 

As he arrived back with the pizza, his friend remarked what a nice kid the delivery guy was and Aaron agreed. “Yeah, he’s a really adorable kid, who…” His words trailed off as Ethan’s innocent expression turned into a grinning one. His cheeks began to feel hot again and he murmured into his beard, “You bastard, I’ll get you back for this.” The other probably marked him on purpose, so he could tease him about it afterwards.

 

His friend didn’t wait until they were finished eating, instead reaching over and pulling him tightly against himself, his arm wrapped around Aaron’s waist. The warmth spread through the light-male’s back, as his skin touched the other’s, the chest hair tickling him a little. He wiggled around a bit, finding a comfortable position, before continuing to munch on his slice. His cheek was puffed from stuffing too much pizza in his mouth, as Ethan pressed a kiss on it. It made the light-haired male stop chewing for a moment, feeling like a little kid, but he liked this feeling. It made him feel safe and he couldn’t hide the grin that the other’s action evoked.

 

His pleasant musing were interrupted, when his friend decided to answer his previous question. It confused Aaron for a moment, because he almost forgotten about the question himself. The part when his friend said he’s happy Aaron is bothered by this, because it shows he cares, made him swallow the second pizza slice down hard. So Ethan really did thought he was using him for sex! The light-haired male felt the need to explain himself, but he got entranced by his next words. The nudge against his neck sent gentle shivers down his spine and hearing his friend describe how possessive he can get, made his heart beat fast. Was his friend telling him he thinks of Aaron as his now? The thought should make the light-haired male feel like objecting, but he didn’t. It also explained Ethan’s earlier behavior, when they talked about his ex-girlfriends.

 

Aaron could listen to the ginger’s voice the whole night, but his friend then suggested a movie. He wasn’t sure he can stay awake through the whole thing, so he didn’t oppose to his friend’s wish for a gay movie. “Sure, but I don’t know any gay movies.” He leaned forward and picked up the TV controller, finding the online movie library, before passing it to his friend and making himself comfortable again. “Here, just pick whichever you want to watch.” It could be educative to watch that kind of a movie, but as he stared at the screen, he felt his eyes closing on his own. He slid a bit lower, so his head was nestled comfortably on his friend’s chest, trying hard to pay attention to the movie. Aaron was warm and cozy, but there was still something that he wanted and feeling drowsy, he blurted it out without thinking, “Can you play with my hair?” He still remembered how good it felt, when Ethan touched his hair before, but asking for it out loud was definitely embarrassing.

[-Hideki-]

A sigh! A tired sigh! Tired of his own feelings and hurt and that old story that was starting anew. And then there was the shaky voice of the man he was still in love with expressing how he hoped they could stay in contact. But how things were they couldn’t. The librarian might have been able to but Ethan had not been. “We’ll see…” he just stated monotonous. Maybe something would change, maybe he’d get over his feelings somehow and he could agree to keeping in contact with the other man but probably not. If you were in love with someone this deeply that it could survived through years apart and not lose its strength there was all or nothing. Everything in-between would be just torture and if it was how it was right now the other would have to understand this.

 

Hearing Wilson promise him that he wasn’t warming a place for the one the other man would actually love then, that he tried to assure him that no one could take his place made him smile dryly and distantly as his eyes peered into blue. “You are confusing. So damn confusing. Maybe you’re confused too.” The red head said. “Can’t you just be cruel and awful to me so that I can finally get over you?” he asked him.

 

Listening to the litanies as to why Aaron hated online dating and that he really hated it out of personal reasons and didn’t hold judgement against it in general he was getting bored by it because it was becoming repetitive. His mind caught onto it again though when the other male reproachfully said that he had cried himself to sleep at night after Ethan had left, that he had trust issues and couldn’t let anyone get close to himself anymore. On one hand he was shocked and he felt sorry, even a spark of guilt and on the other hand it pissed him off how Aaron was trying to blame his leave for this. “I’m sorry to hear that you had to cry yourself to sleep. But I doubt it had had much to do with me. And if so I could have not known at all.” The red head said. “And I’m not sitting here and gonna take the blame for your trust issues because I left a place that was crippling me. I never abused you or your trust, I never used anything I knew about you against you, I didn’t slander you, I didn’t stab you in your back I just left under the impression that you’d just find yourself a girlfriend and some new friends to hang out with. And you did. You said it yourself; you play football with Meyer and the other guys and are content with your life.” The man stated clearly.

 

 

 

Surprise showed on his face when Aaron talked since apparently the other was aware of the fact that their encounter had not been straight at all and that he was attracted to Ethan but didn’t seem to have any issue with or be concerned about it in the slightest. When he heard the other say that he still wouldn’t want to do it with any other guy and that it was because it was him his heart was beating way too fast and there was a warm feeling that was spreading from his guts throughout his body. “It doesn’t matter to me if you’re only gay for me and not for any other man.” The red head stated with a smile on his lips. “You are seemingly very attracted to me and that’s what matters to me. And you are apparently aware of the fact that you found yourself attracted to me too. Then I could have spared myself the time trying to make you realise that and could have directly told you this instead…” the man concluded. “Don’t rule me out because I’m a man! You are obviously into me so would give me a chance?” the ginger asked, intensely staring into the other man’s blue eyes with his hazel ones as his heart was flickering like a flame and he was getting a little nervous.

 

Smirking dirtily his eyes blinked up hungrily when the librarian told him that he was perverted but that he’d definitely let Ethan educate him some more if it was as good at this night. “It can be even greater if you’ll be open for it that is.” the ginger said with a wink but he couldn’t keep it up when the other asked him if he wanted to play student and teacher the next time because the ginger was busting out into laughter. “I’ve never tried that kind of role-play doing sex and I am probably not a good actor but if it made you hard for me I’d play your teacher for you.” The man agreed still laughing.

 

Ethan would have thought the other would protest against watching something gay but there was none, Aaron just agreed and told him to search for a movie and Ethan did. He picked something that was fun and light-hearted but still had some hot scenes and some sex in it and leaned back into the sofa, feeling the other male nestling on his chest. The ginger let one of his hands run over his shoulder and arm, then caressing his torso, just constantly touching him in a sensual and affectionate way, intertwining their legs, enjoying holding the other, to inhale his smell and to feel their skin against each other.

 

A warm and happy smile appeared on his face when he heard his old friend asking him to play with his hair. “Sure, I will play with whatever part of your body you want me to play with.” He answered with a dirty grin because he just couldn’t help himself not minding much if the other man would call him a pervert again. “I always loved your hair. It’s so silky and light, colourless almost.” The ginger said and touched a strand of the man’s hair before he was running his hand through it, messing it up some before he was giving him a legit head massage.

[Ayakashiu]

At his offer to stay in touch, the other just sighed tiredly and said ‘we’ll see’. It was clear that the answer was no, his friend only saying this so it wouldn’t sound as bad. Aaron couldn’t believe how life could turn on them so much. As if it wasn’t enough that they used to be bullied and had awful families, now they couldn’t even stay friends. The light-haired male really believed that he lived the life he wanted, but now that Ethan re-entered it and explained the reasons behind his disappearance, he couldn’t really imagine him leaving again. But he knew better than to push the matter; it would only make his friend angry with him and wouldn’t change a thing.

 

Hearing the other tell him how confusing he is, only made him frown. Why was he confusing? He just wanted his best friend back, Aaron thought he made that pretty clear. But maybe his friend had a point, he really felt confused and torn. He wanted Ethan by his side, but that was clearly impossible, so he didn’t want to do something to hurt his friend further. On the other hand, he didn’t know how to act to achieve that, because they disagreed on so many things now. Yes, he definitely was confused. “But if you get over me, won’t you just leave for good and not look back? I don’t want that,” he said, his voice filled with stubbornness. No way could he be cruel and awful to Ethan, not now that he found out how cruel he unknowingly already was back then. It did make him wonder what the ginger sees in him that’s so hard to get over. It just showed how slow he was, to not ask this before. “What is it about me that made you fall for me anyway? And if you say it’s only my body, I’m gonna hit you.” A small smile played on his lips, remembering how his friend described his looks before and he really hoped that wasn’t the reason. He could hardly change his looks so quickly, but maybe he could change something else…

 

It was obvious his friend didn’t really listen to what he had to say and it made Aaron irritated. He shouldn’t even bother to get into this debate with his friend, who obviously only saw his own side and didn’t get anyone else’s. And of course he thought Aaron said he cried himself to sleep, because he wanted him to feel guilty. How unfair that he had to listen to Ethan telling him all about how horrible this town and their friendship had been for him, but when he wanted to share his side of the story, the other thought he was being petty. “I don’t expect you to sit there and take the blame for anything that happened to me, I just wanted to explain why I feel so against trying to meet people online. And I never said you did any of those things to me! But of course anything I say, you will take as me trying to make you feel guilty, while I really tried hard to understand your side of the story the whole damn evening! So I’m sorry that I actually trust you enough to tell you personal things about myself, I’ll make sure to keep them to myself from now on.” He stared pointedly in front of himself, not really wanting to continue this discussion. He was stupid to think he can be himself around the ginger; too many years passed for them to pick up where they left and Ethan was a different man that he was all that time ago.

 

 

 

The surprise that showed on the ginger’s face when he spoke, should have been a clear indication he was saying something he shouldn’t. The reply he got was the proof that he should think about his words carefully, not saying things that were obvious to him so light-heartedly. What his friend said, about not minding him being gay for only himself and giving him a chance, it made Aaron nervous because he didn’t really see himself as gay after this. But the intense stare Ethan was giving him made the light-haired male unable to look away and he fidgeted, searching for the right words. “Em..I don’t think I’m gay for you though,” he said carefully, then quickly added, “I mean I do find you attractive, obviously,” he gestured with his hands, pointing out his friend’s toned body. “But I was pent up, so that might have something to do with it.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he realized how bad that sounded. His mind reeled as he tried to find a way to explain it better. “Ethan, I do feel comfortable doing this with you and I did enjoy it and I wouldn’t mind if it happened again, BUT, and it’s a big but, would this be enough for you? Because I’m still feeling the same about, you know, letting you stick it up my butt. Honestly, I don’t think I can do that.” He crinkled his brows feeling distressed, the previous fear about being the bottom resurfacing. Maybe it was the influence of his Catholic upbringing and general disdain he was exposed to all his life that fueled his fear, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to even consider trying it.

 

Ethan asking him to give him a chance, made his heart flutter and he quietly wondered when he got this sappy and from when did Ethan affect him so much. Must be because he is so happy they reunited. “You know, you were the one who ruled me out. You never gave me a chance to consider you, not really. I would love to give you a chance, I told you you used to be the most important person in my life! But how would this even work? I have no idea what I’m comfortable with, hell I can’t even say I had a proper relationship with a girl before! What if I mess it up and I hurt you?” The light-haired male didn’t know if the last question was meant for himself or for his friend. What was he even doing agreeing to this?! He pulled a hand through his hair, looking at his friend pleadingly, not even being sure what he was pleading for.

 

Hearing it can be even greater than tonight, brought a big smile on Aaron’s face, but the words ‘if you’ll be open to it’ sounded ominous to him and made his smile falter a bit. He wasn’t sure he would be open for what his friend was suggesting, but they could sort it out when it comes to it. Hearing the other agree to his suggestion, made the light-haired male laugh too. “Yeah I think I would love to see you try and play the teacher. Might just die from laughter, but it would be worth it.” He grinned teasingly, before asking curiously, “You said you never tried that kind of role play…what kind of role play did you try then?” Maybe this was the kinky stuff his friend teased him about before and Aaron bit his lip intently, as he waited for the answer.

 

Being embraced by his friend and caressed like this, made him feel at ease. He didn’t remember the last time he cuddled with anyone and there was no way he would admit he cuddled with Ethan, but right now he didn’t care about any of that, he just hummed contentedly. When the ginger obliged him, touching his hair and making a dirty remark, Aaron just mumbled “Pervert. Just don’t forget what you just said, the next time I ask you.” A small smile played on his lips, as his friend told him he liked his hair and always did. “Really? I always thought my hair was weird. Feel free to touch it all the time then.” The shivers that ran thought his body at the light touches turned into an appreciative moan, as Ethan started to massage his scalp. The light-haired male didn’t even know how rigid he was, until the tension started to flow away under the ginger’s apt hands.

 

The sleep was slowly pulling him into its embrace, until another man's moan pulled him out of it. He blinked a few times, before his mind caught up what was happening on the TV screen. He woke up just in time for a hot scene that was currently playing and it caught his attention. He never gave much thought to gay sex, so there were lots of things he didn’t know, but Ethan made him curious about it. He watched with renewed attention, but the movie wasn’t a porn so the hot scene didn’t show everything he wanted to see in detail. It did look like the guy who was receiving it did enjoy himself and Aaron couldn’t help himself but comment, “Is the bottom just playing that he likes it or do you think he really does? Because I don’t really know how he could like it so much. I mean, there’s no g-spot there, right?” The light-haired male was truly confused about this and admittedly a bit curious too.

[-Hideki-]

Steadily there was a smirk reappearing on his face when Aaron asked him what it had been that had made him fall for the other man and threatened that he’d hit him if he said it had been only his body. “Your arse! Definitely that delicious arse!” Ethan answered the question jestingly the smirk growing wider as he laughed. In reality the man’s body had not been the factor why he had fallen in love with the other back then although he had felt himself strongly attracted to the other male physically as well. “It’s difficult to tell and put into words, I’m not a writer like you.” The ginger said and the smirk turned into a rather distant smile. “I always felt incredibly drawn to you, as if it was magnetism, when around you I felt warm and fussy and I wanted to stay close to you for eternity. When you smiled at me with that amazing smile my heart was racing faster. We were on the same wavelength; it was like we were two parts of the same broken item when I was with you I felt whole, I could function, I felt I understood you, I felt you understood me except for the gay part that was, I loved listening to your voice, I loved the way you looked at me so annoyed whenever I made a stupid joke, I liked it that you’d rely on me, that shyness behind the loud mouth, to protect you, how cute you were. All those things! I just fell in love with everything about you, with you as a whole, as the person you were.” He explained seriously, too seriously as he felt the need change that. “And then there was the arse of course. The arse really did it.” He added playfully.

 

A snort was coming from him. “You tried really hard to understand my side of the story the whole evening?” he repeated with a laugh. “Are you serious now?” he asked. “Aaron, you lashed out on me, insulted me, blamed me and told me that you won’t apologise for any of it regardless of what I told you about why I had to leave. You also made sure to tell me plenty of times that it wasn’t your fault and you have done absolutely nothing wrong. And you still don’t seem to care as you just care for the fact that you don’t want me to get over you because you wouldn’t want me to move on from this as you couldn’t have me as your friend anymore, totally not caring how I feel if you make me be your platonic friend and watch you with those chicks even though I tried to explain it to you. So shut up about how you are so high and mighty compared to me and how you are the great understanding altruistic hero alright because you aren’t.” Ethan hissed completely pissed now. “Do what you want.” He barked shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

 

 

 

 

Ethan’s hand hit his own forehead hard when Aaron got all nervous and started off by saying that he didn’t think he was gay for him and that he had just been pent up. So the ginger had been right after all with his assumption as to how the other was seeing it and trying to convince himself that this had not been gay. The ginger snorted mockingly. “Of course! This was so not gay. I mean, you just got an erection for imagining a guy sucking your dick and rubbing his dick onto you but, hey, so not gay, this is really straight. Straight guys always get hard from rubbing their dicks against other men’s penises.” He remarked sarcastically and he couldn’t quit on the sarcasm and the mockery at all that also covered up the hurt he felt when he heard the other had just been pent up. “You surely were only pent up. And when such a solid 100% straight guy is pent up, he always imagines other men sucking his cock and getting hard by the idea of frottage because those are really straight fantasies obviously.” He then sighed and ruffled his red hair. “You know what Aaron, when I’m pent up I think about men and I want to do it with men and I won’t get a boner around my female friend when she talks about sex. Because I’m fucking gay! I wouldn’t get turned on by her even though I like her as a person! I wouldn’t be attracted to her either! Regardless of how pent up I was and I have been pent up around her quite sometimes.” He explained again. “But try to convince yourself of whatever bullshit you want to convince yourself to believe. Deny what this actually was, deny that you are into me and make yourself believe that you were just pent up and everyone could have brought you to get that turned on and aroused and cum twice in a row. Because that’s what you’re suggesting when you say ‘I wasn’t gay for you just pent up hehe…’ God, what an incredibly dumb thing to say!” Ethan cursed.

 

“Now you are contradicting yourself. Now you say you feel comfortable doing this, that you enjoyed it and would do it again! Would we have to wait until you were pent up enough again though because if you really aren’t gay for me there is no way you could enjoy it or get it up for me when you aren’t pent up and extremely desperate isn’t that so!?” Ethan pointed out this back and forth, his friend changing his mind, changing his statements, changing his whole outlook exhausted him. When Wilson asked him if this would be enough for him the red head sighed deeply. “No Aaron! Being intimate with you for you to say ‘I was pent up and am not actually really into you aka not gay for you’ afterwards is definitely not enough for me and I deserve better!” he clearly stated. “I want my partner to not be ashamed of being into me and being with me, I want someone to be affectionate towards me, someone who didn’t deny me and who could say he loved me if the relationship was a loving one. So definitely not enough.” The man deliberately understood the question wrong but he added. “And sure, I’d want to have penetrative sex at one point and I would want to be sucked off too but I don’t have to rush it.”

 

Ethan ran his hand over his face when the librarian informed him that he had been the one to rule him out. What a twisted up logic was that? The ginger felt like disagreeing because he had not ruled him out, he’d have jumped him right away had Aaron told him he had had a thing for him. The ginger had from the facts he had known concluded that the silver haired man was not reachable for him because he was attracted to women and had considered himself straight. That was reasonable, logical thinking. He didn’t care to argue anymore though.

 

Especially not when Aaron actually said that he’d love to give him a chance! The man was baffled, completely baffled considering the whole ‘pent up’ excuse and all of this even more than he would have been before. His hazel eyes stared at him and Ethan rubbed them. “You aren’t making an evil jest with me right now are you?” he asked half jokingly half sceptically but when the other continued to talk about how it would even work he realised the man was serious and his heart was jumping and there was an explosion of happiness going through his body and he just smiled for a while before he actually answered. “We can figure out what you’re comfortable with and what not together. It’s not an issue.” He told him encouragingly and at the other concern of the other he shrugged. “I’m already hurting when I’m around you but can’t be close enough to you. If we are trying a relationship and it won’t work out and you ended up hurting me it would be nothing against the hurt I had felt all those years back then and I was feeling now. And I might actually be cured and get over you then, depending on what had happened between us I might even be able to be friends with you still. I am still friends with one of my exes too.” The ginger explained. There wasn’t really much they had to lose as far as their relationship now was.

 

When he was asked what kind of role play he had tried before he shrugged. “Non-sexual one. I have been in a cosplay show-group once. I have done LARP. And that was it.” He answered Aaron not thinking that this was what the other had hoped to hear but it was the kind of role-play he had tried.

 

While he was massaging Aaron’s head and toying his silky hair he could see how the other was falling asleep from it and he smiled warmly at the sleeping librarian. He was so fucking cute when he was asleep, Ethan had always found that. Sometimes he had caressed his hair when he had slept back then and he had always had to keep himself from kissing his sleeping face but now he didn’t have to so he pressed his lips against the man’s forehead breathing ‘I love you Aaron’ into his ear knowing the man was sleeping. He continued to toy his hair but while he was doing so he was getting sleepy himself and after some time he was about to doze off himself. He was kept from it though when he suddenly heard the other man’s - who unbelievably but true was his lover now – voice sounding commenting on the sex scene on TV.

 

Cornwell even needed a moment to get what was on and what the other was asking him right there and shook his head chuckling. “You know those are actors and that’s not porn right? No one is having actual sex there right now. They are playing all of it.” He told the other. “If you want to see actual gay sex I can show you amateur porn clips.” The ginger offered to him and then sighed. “Generally speaking though, no, bottoms don’t play their enjoyment, they are actually in pleasure. They like being penetrated. Why would they have sex if it wasn’t pleasurable to them? Why would they masturbate with their prostate if it was not pleasurable? That wouldn’t make sense.” He clearly told the other. “And it would be a really uncomfortable thought. I wouldn’t enjoy fucking a man who didn’t love every second of it.” He let the other know and got the next question again. The red head had no clue about g-spots. From what he had understood from conversations of friends who slept with women this was what made women orgasm. He’d have no clue where that thing even was on a woman though; he’d make a horrible straight guy that was for sure. “You don’t need that thing. You have something better, a prostate! If we had sex, I’d stimulate your prostate and that’d cause you great pleasure and would result in an amazing orgasm. As I said, if you were curious and you wouldn’t want me to do it the first time you could try to stimulate it yourself.” He informed him.

[Ayakashiu]

The answer to his question was to be expected, he should know by now his friend will tease him if given the opportunity. So he playfully bumped the other’s shoulder with his fist, like he promised he would, but it still brought a grin to his face. “You really are an idiot.” On the comment about him being a writer, Aaron just snorted, because it was clear that he wasn’t good with words around his friend. Talking with someone was different than writing a story about a fictional character, where you could control all of their actions and reactions and the light-haired male wished some of his skill would transfer to the real life. But no, he was awkward around the ginger the whole evening already, having problem with conveying his thoughts and feelings into words. His azure eyes widened as he listened intently to the other describing how he felt around him and Aaron was screaming internally, because it was exactly the same for him! He had it on the tip of his tongue to say that out loud, but then the ginger made the comment about his butt again and he changed his mind. It wasn’t the right time and place, so he just laughed along his friend, shaking his head at his playfulness, trying not to think what a coward he was.

 

Aaron was starting to feel flustered, as his friend pointed out how he wasn’t all that understanding and how he lashed out when they met. While it was all true, he didn’t feel he was trying to act like some altruistic hero and he would never have Ethan watch him with another girl. Why was it always so hard for him to win in a fight against his friend? The other seemed to know exactly what to say to make him feel guilty instead of angry. He should really write a letter instead of trying to talk, he would be able to stand his ground better. But right now, there was a pissed Ethan in front of him and the light-haired male couldn’t help but submit, not wanting his friend seeing him in such a light. “I’m sorry. I said I won’t apologize but…I’m really sorry. For the outburst and making it seem like I only care for myself. I really tried hard though, but I’m an idiot and I always end up saying the wrong thing. And you’re right, I am selfish, I would probably do anything to keep you in my life and it’s not fair to you.” He fidgeted with his fingers, feeling like a puppy who disobeyed his master but Ethan in a mood like this, was just too much to handle for the light-haired male, who basically did everything to avoid getting in this kind of situations. It was his own fault, for not letting the subject drop sooner. “Just…I’ll try harder ok? So let’s not fight,” he added in a hopeful and imploring voice.

 

 

 

 

How did he always, always, managed to say the wrong thing?! When did he become so bad at explaining things? Aaron was feeling frustrated with himself, always saying the first thing that comes to his mind that second and not really making things clear, as his friend went on how stupid he was for saying what he said. So he grabbed the ginger’s shoulders, trying to explain himself once again. “Ugh, I am dumb, I really am! But listen, I said I don’t think I’m gay, because I don’t think something like that can just change in an evening! I mean, I never before given thought to it and it just seems disrespectful to use the term so freely, while I thought of myself straight for my whole life. Maybe I’ve been into you this whole time, just didn’t realize it, but I can’t just say I’m gay, because I don’t want to hurt your feelings if it turns out I’m not.” His words were coming out way to fast, so he needed to take a deep breath before continuing. “Does this really make me gay Ethan? Because then I’m ok with being one, I don’t really care about semantics here and I would never ever deny you! I’m not ashamed of what I just did with you and I don’t care what others will think, but I do care what you think. And yeah, it was so stupid to say I was pent up, without explaining exactly what I meant. So what I meant was, I was horny and you’re so hot and if I wasn’t so pent up, I might not just do what we did, without first clearing any misunderstandings like this one. You know, think things through instead of just responding physically, not do something to hurt you. ‘Cause I’m really good at that it seems.” The last remark had a self-condemning undertone, Aaron feeling like a piece of shit right now. He never really cared before, if one of his partners was offended by his indelicacy, but this was Ethan. “So I’m sorry that I’m so confused and contradict myself all the time, but this situation is definitely new to me and I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. Now that I think of it, it’s really weird right? I know I’m laid back and comfortable around you, but it is still weird to just be alright with all this. I should be freaking out, shouldn’t I?” The question was genuine, Aaron suddenly feeling out of his league and lost.

 

When the ginger asked him if he was making an evil jest, the light-haired male just shook his head and waited for the answer, but his friend just smiled, which made him nervous. “Ethan?” he asked worriedly, imploring the other to say something. When his friend spoke about how it’s not an issue and that they can figure things out together, Aaron finally relaxed. He liked the sound of ‘together’, even though hearing his friend say he’s hurting that badly did sting. “You know, there’s something very wrong with me in the relationships department, so you must really be weird to even consider trying it with me.” The jest brought a smile to his face again, the previous tension dissipating, although there was some truth in it. The light-haired male was really bad in keeping romantic relationships working, so he wondered again why he even agreed to this, when it’s clear he will mess up at one point. But he didn't want to think abot negative things right now, he will try and make this work somehow!

 

Aaron was suddenly hyped up, hearing his friend actually tried cosplaying, being the geek he was. “Whoa for real?? That’s awesome! I always wanted to try LARP, but I probably wouldn’t be comfortable there alone. So how was it? Please tell me you got pics, because I need to see you in a cosplay costume!” He was still excited about this things, like he was as a kid.

 

“Yeah, I’m aware it’s played and all, but you know what I meant,” the light-haired male huffed, feeling piqued by the teasing. But the things the other told him did make him think. It made sense that some men liked being penetrated or they surely wouldn’t do it. But on the other hand, some women didn’t really enjoy sex either but they still did it, like it was some kind of obligation. Aaron thought he should really stop drawing parallels between straight and gay relationships, because it only served to confuse him more. He should research it on his own, instead of asking his friend all those things; the other didn’t seemed bothered by them but still. “I have a prostate?” He raised his eyebrows questionably, not imagining how you could stimulate it or how that even feels. “And do not say that I do indeed have a prostate! You know what I mean.” The light-haired male tried sounding threatening, but his voice was still sleepy so he didn’t quite pull it off. He added, “I don’t think I want to try and stimulate my prostate myself. I have a feeling it would only freak me out more, if I would do something wrong. So I guess that’s on you to show me.” A slight blush did creep on his cheeks as he said that, not feeling ready to try it right now, but he did promise his friend he will try harder and Aaron did trust him to make him feel good. “But not right now! In case you would take it as an invitation.” His voice was light as he teased his friend, but he couldn’t hold back a yawn.

 

As much as he was trying to pay attention to the movie, everything that happened today proved to be too much. He needed to get some sleep or he won’t be able to get up tomorrow morning, but he knew he would wake up with an aching neck, if he fell asleep like this. So he turned around, burying his head in the crook of Ethan’s neck, before asking hopefully, “Ethan, I really need my bed right now, I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. You will sleep here tonight, right?” He made the same offer once before tonight, but his friend refused. Now their situation was different, so the light-haired male hoped that the other will agree. It was a first time he actually wanted his lover to spend the night, but his brain was sluggish and all he could think of was snuggling up to the warm Ethan in his comfortable bed.

[-Hideki-]

An exhausted, long sigh came from Cornwell after Aaron had apologised to him after all and acknowledged that he had not been nothing but understanding the whole evening stating that he was an idiot and that he’d try harder and that they shouldn’t fight. His hazel eyes went to the side looking at his old friend before he reached out his hand again placing it on the other man’s head messing with his hair again. “Alright you bloody idiot. I like you too much for being mad at you for long anyway I suppose.” Ethan informed him and a faint smile was playing around his lips.

 

 

 

 

Surprise was to see on his face when the librarian grabbed him by his shoulders, looking into his eyes after Ethan had flooded the other with sarcastic remarks when Aaron had claimed he had just done that because he had been pent up. For a moment the red head thought the other was mad and was going to yell at him for the mockery but nothing like that happened. Wilson admitted that what he had said had been dumb and explained himself more clearly this time and the ginger listened intently and concentrated. His heart was starting to beat heavier and faster and when the other was through with what he had to tell him he took the man’s face into his hands and kissed him again, deeply, as though he’d eat him up.

 

When their lips parted he looked into the man’s eyes, a smile appearing on his lips while he still held Aaron’s cute face between his hands. “Something like that doesn’t change at all Aaron. You either have the potential to desire and be attracted to men or you haven’t!” he told him. “And no Aaron, you are not gay and you won’t ever be a homosexual, you can’t be, you are attracted to women as well. And I didn’t want you to claim this unfitting label or any label at all. I just wanted you to acknowledge that you obviously have a thing for me, another man, and I wanted you to acknowledge that our encounter was gay, that our interaction was gay, that if we kept this up our relationship would be gay, that you are gay for me specifically.” Ethan explained to him. “I don’t know what this makes you label wise, fact is you aren’t 100% straight, you can desire a man we both have seen it. Maybe one could call it heteroflexible or rather bisexual with a strong preference for women or something but it doesn’t actually matter that much as long as you don’t claim to be exclusively straight only into women because that is like denying me and it hurts after we’ve done that together.” he told him.

 

His thumbs were caressing the other man’s cheeks and he chuckled when he listened to what the other had to say. “Maybe stop thinking about how this is new and how you’re supposed to act and do what feels natural to you around me instead. If you would like to kiss me just do it and don’t think that you’ve never kissed a man before out of your own initiative and how this is new and different. Do you understand what I mean.” He told him. “And no, you freaking out about this would not be in any way productive quite the contrary. If you freaked you’d only rob yourself of the chance to might see that the person you’ve been searching for has been me after all. It’s a good sign that regardless of all the nervousness you aren’t freaking out.”

 

Ethan shrugged. “I am weird and in love with you still so your issues aren’t really stopping me from trying.” He informed him. “Besides, maybe what was wrong were just those chicks and it’ll be different with me. You said I was important to you after all.” He winked and he really hoped so. He hoped that Aaron actually was in love with him too. That this love he had been feeling for Ethan was the right kind of love, the kind of love he needed from the other man.

 

He nodded. “I wouldn’t have liked to go alone too. I went with my ex.” The ginger let Aaron know. “I also have photos but you’ll not like to hear where you’d be able to see them since I have them online on my social media.” The man from New York told him. There were some from the cosplay show group he had uploaded and other members from the show group had uploaded more pictures and there also were those from LARP, where one could mostly see him and his ex together.

 

At the clueless ‘I have a prostate?’ and ‘You know what I mean’ comment he got from the other Ethan was snorting and laughing, bending over from laughter and he couldn’t really stop anymore. “Jeez!” he busted out into another fit of laughter laying his forehead onto Aaron’s shoulder. “You gonna kill me man.” He said trying to breath normally again, trying to stop laughing and getting a grip on himself. “Yes, Aaron your prostate can be stimulated and massaged and you can have an intense orgasm and intense ejaculation from it.” He answered coughing to not laugh again at how the other had said ‘I have a prostate?’. Ethan wished he had recorded that he’d make it his ringtone. “It won’t only make you feel pleasure it’s healthy if you milk your prostate too. So there is absolutely nothing bad or shameful about it at all.” The ginger assured the other now a lot more composed and serious again.

 

Genuinely smiling at the silver haired male he pressed his lips onto his scalp after the other man had told him that he wouldn’t want to try to stimulate his prostate on his own and that it was on him to show him. Ethan was already incredibly glad that he even considered it and would be open to try it, especially trust him to do it right away without having tried it himself before. “I’m glad you aren’t as opposed to it anymore and are considering it.” He said looking into the man’s face that looked so adorable when he blushed like that. “I promise you to go one step at a time.” the ginger assured the other. They didn’t have to go all the way at the first time, Ethan didn’t have to fuck the man right away he didn’t want to overwhelm him completely after all.

 

Laughing he shook his head when Aaron felt the need to say him that he didn’t mean now though. “I hadn’t thought so. I’m too tired anyway. I was already tired when I arrived at this school reunion, I’m exhausted now.” he told him and after a moment of silence in which they were trying to focus on the movie again it got clear that they both were extremely tired and the librarian told him that he needed his bed asking him if he’d sleep at his place that night. Ethan nodded. “Sure.” He said and stroked through the other man’s hair. “If you still want I could get my stuff out of the hotel room here tomorrow after work?” he suggested and then he shifted and got up from the sofa. “Let’s go to sleep then.” He said and took Aaron’s hand pulling the tired male up from the sofa and waited for the other to show him the way into the bedroom and into his bed.

[Ayakashiu]

After hearing the exhausted sigh, Aaron thought the fight wasn’t over yet, but a hand ruffling his hair made him look up and meet his friend’s hazel eyes. There was a small smile on his friend’s lips, as he called him an idiot, but also told him he likes him too much to stay angry with him. It made the light-haired male return a sad smile of his own. He was just glad that the dispute was over, but not really happy about the way it turned out. He didn’t want to dwell on it anymore though.

 

 

 

Finally! He was finally making sense and being able to explain himself. Aaron chuckled at Ethan’s reaction, as the ginger kissed him hungrily after hearing him out. It felt like a rock dropped from his chest, when they were finally on the same length again. Maybe now that all of this was spoken and misunderstandings dealt with, they could just enjoy in each other’s company like they used to.

 

His friend didn’t let him go after the kiss, still holding his face between his hands, which made it harder for Aaron to agree with what the ginger was saying, not wanting to nod and make him let go. So he had to wait for the other to finish, before answering eagerly, “Yes, I totally agree, it doesn’t actually matter so let’s drop the labels. I always feel like I have to act a certain way, if I get labeled. So I won’t claim to be straight or only into women, I’ll just be me.” He laughed cynically, when realization hit him. “I don’t remember the last time I acted like me to be honest, at least not in public. People always pushed their expectations on me and I complied, because it was easier that way. So it’s a nice thought that I can be myself around you.”

 

Felling his friend’s fingers moving over his cheeks, helped to ease some of the nervousness he was feeling. “I am only nervous, because I’m afraid I’ll say or do something wrong again and make you angry with me. I’ve done it plenty of times tonight already. But yeah, I understand what you mean, I won’t overthink things.” He cracked a lopsided smile, Ethan making him feel younger again, comforting him like this. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling.

 

At his friend’s words and a playful wink, Aaron laughed before teasing, “Don’t let your ego grow too much now.” He continued in a more serious tone, “But yeah, you are really important to me, so it will definitely be different with you.”

 

Some of his excitement died down, as the ginger informed him that he cosplayed with his ex. Since Ethan described just how much some of his exes were awesome and how much he cared about them, this wasn’t really a piece of information Aaron wanted to know. But he pushed the jealousy he was starting to feel aside, even though he wanted to be the one who went to this kind of events with Ethan. “You know, I don’t mind going online and browse around, I just don’t chat with people much, especially not with people I don’t know.” There was a small smile forming on his lips, realizing he might have given off the wrong impression, when he got so heated about the subject before. “I actually have some social media accounts, since my editor insisted I make them, but those are mostly for work and I don’t use them all that much. I still want to see that picture of you, so you’ll show me where I can find you online?” He looked around trying to spot his phone, but it was nowhere in sight. “You know what, you can just show me tomorrow, I have no idea where my phone is. And you need to give me your number too, while we’re at it.”

 

Aaron only made an exasperated face and rolled his eyes, when his friend burst out laughing. “Oh shut up Ethan, it’s not that funny.” The fits of laughter that were rocking his friend’s body, were getting uncomfortable for the light-haired male, since he was lying on top of him and it made Aaron sigh. It was obvious how the ginger tried hard not to laugh, as he answered his question and he felt offended. “You know what, if you’ll make fun of me, we can just stop talking about it altogether!” The light-haired male swore to himself that he will search for answers from now on. But the kiss to his scalp and Ethan’s promise about going one step at a time, softened him up. “I’ll think about it, if you’ll stop laughing at me.” His voice came out sulky, but he couldn’t get seriously mad at the other man. He was still far too happy about them working things out, to be angry.

 

Ethan agreeing to stay and even offering to move his things here, made the light-haired male smile widely. “Yeah, of course! It’ll be awesome. Like sleep overs when we were kids.” He let his friend pull him up from the sofa, deciding if he should at least put the pizza leftovers in the fridge, but he was too tired and didn’t really care, so he just left everything as it was, leading the way to the bedroom.

 

Most of the bedroom was filled with the king sized bed. Aaron loved having enough space to roll around and he always wanted to have a huge bed. He headed straight towards it, disappearing whole under the sheets, shivering a bit from the cold. With Ethan next to him, the bed will get warm in no time. The only bad thing was, he only had one blanket, because he rarely had someone sleeping over and didn’t need two separate ones. He popped his head out, looking at his friend, saying with an impish grin, “Just so you know, I tend to hog the blanket, so consider yourself warned!” Buying two separate blankets would be a good idea, if Ethan will be staying here. They would be much more comfortable that way.

 

The softness of the bed and the sheets warming up, made him yawn widely. He waited for his friend to get settled, before flipping off the light switch and sighing contently. Before the sleep took over, he murmured, “I’m really happy you’re back Ethan.”

[-Hideki-]

The smile on his face was growing wider and he placed his forehead onto Aaron’s when the other male told him that he agreed, that labels didn’t matter and that he felt like he needed to act according to one when he took one on and that he won’t claim to be straight and into women anymore, he’d just be himself for him. “Perfect.” Ethan told him but then added. “That’s when a label loses its actual point anyway, when someone feels like he has to act according to it making himself a slave to the label whereas the label actually should be a tool to serve the person to identify oneself clearer and nothing more.” The red head found, What he heard then made a frown appear on his face though because it was not a nice thought that the man he was in love with had given himself up to fit the expectations of society and the people around him. Not only that, it also seemed untypical for the silver haired. “I wouldn’t have thought that you’d ever do that. You didn’t care about people’s expectations back then at all, at least it seemed so, or did you after all?” the man asked.

 

Raising an eyebrow he looked at the other man when he explained to him that he was only nervous because he was afraid to say or do something wrong and make him angry with him as it had happened multiple times that evening. “Don’t be.” He said. “If you end up making me mad, you end up making me mad. I might make you mad too. It’s normal and doesn’t mean that we’ll end up in a major fight. Tiptoeing around and holding something back would be much more harmful in the long run.” The ginger found and then shrugged.

 

There was cockiness to see on his face when Aaron teasingly told him that he shouldn’t let his ego grow too much now. “I can’t help it though. And does this also include another part of me that might grow around you a lot too?” he asked, moving his eyebrows up and down jestingly.

The joking manner turned into a sincere smile though when he kissed the librarian’s lips softly when he told him that he indeed was really important to him and that it would be different with him.

 

“Sure.” Ethan nodded when the shorter man told him that he’d still like to see the pictures of him cosplaying and asked him if he could tell him where he could find him online. “I just send you the link to my social media and the pictures because it’s been years now and they aren’t the newest.” He told him. The ginger also didn’t care to exchange numbers and give him his social media links the next day because Wilson couldn’t find his phone now.

 

Aaron took his laughter the wrong way and apparently got his knickers in a twist because he hissed that if he made fun of him they could just stop talking about the subject altogether. “Oh come on Aaron, don’t be such a buzzkill now.” he said and pulled his old friend and new lover’s lips up so that it looked as if he was smiling. “ I didn’t make fun about you. It was just hilarious how you formulated that question. I’m sorry though, I should take this more seriously I suppose.” Ethan assured the silver haired man. It had not been his intention to make him uncomfortable asking or give him the feeling that he couldn’t ask him those things. The way he had asked that one thing had just been too hilariously clueless though.

 

Seeing the other smile at suggesting to get his things out of the hotel and stay with Aaron made him happy what followed made him not so happy though and he raised up one eyebrow when he looked at the librarian getting up from the sofa. “I really hope that it won’t be like a slumber party when we were little though.” He told the man and then pulled him against his barely clothed body, letting his hands run down to the other’s arse, groping and squeezing it firmly. “I hoped you’d do some naughty stuff with me.” The ginger breathed into his ear and kissed his neck again.

 

Upon entering the bedroom he realised that the room was pretty much full of bed. Ethan had a large bed too but he also had a really huge loft where it didn’t matter how huge his bed was. This room however was almost filled by it and it made him guess that Aaron had just wanted to have a huge bed no matter what and it made him grin to himself about the other man. The red head activated the alarm from his phone that he had grabbed from his pants in the living room while Wilson was getting comfortable in his bed almost completely disappearing under the sheets.

 

Out of habit Ethan had already been about to drop his pants as he usually slept naked and then reminded himself that different people had different feelings about sleeping naked and he decided to keep Aaron’s boxers on and ask the other how he felt about it the other day. Sleeping naked was like smoking a habit he had adopted from one of his exes who had always slept naked because he had said that clothing was disturbing his sleep and he had made the ginger sleep naked with him and he had stuck with it.

 

There was a grin on his face when he was throwing himself down on the huge bed and the librarian informed him that he tended to hog the blanket. “I don’t!” Ethan said, pulled the blanket up and got under it. “I only tend to hog my partners!” the ginger informed with a wide smirk as he wrapped his arms around Aaron from behind, laid one leg over the other man’s and spooned him. “Good night.” He wished him, kissing his neck, before he closed his eyes.

The bed smelled like Aaron, Aaron smelled like Aaron and it was warm and cosy to hold him so it didn’t take him long to fall asleep after an exhausting day that had turned out to be roller coaster ride.

 

 

 

The ginger had set the alarm on a relatively quiet volume to not wake Aaron up at 5:30am. He was aware that the man worked at the library and that only opened at 10am so the other man didn’t need to get up that early in the morning and no one would do that voluntarily. Sleepily he carefully pulled his arm away from under Wilson’s body, turned around and turned out the alarm. He stretched his body, yawned and walked into the bathroom with half closed eyes, almost falling over dozens of stuff because this was not his loft and he had no clue where what stood.

 

It didn’t take him long to get ready especially since he didn’t have his stuff there. Red stubble were to see on his face but he decided that he’d shave later when he had brought his stuff over to Aaron’s to not go and wake him up to ask him if it was okay to use his shaver. He made his way into the kitchen, made a coffee and went onto the balcony with his cup and his pack of cigarettes having his usual breakfast that he always had before work. His hazel eyes fell into the backyard of the house as he exhaled the smoke. He was happy, he genuinely was happy that he could be with Aaron like this now; he had never thought that this would ever happen but he also hated this town. If it worked out with them, what then? Either the librarian had to move to New York with him or they’d have to try a long distance relationship and Ethan would probably suck at that. He wanted his man around and he was much too possessive for this anyway so this would make him paranoid.

 

With a sigh he threw the cigarette down from the balcony and stepped inside again, taking another sip from the coffee as he was heading back into the kitchen again, trying not to think this far ahead now, to let his mind go one step at a time as well but his mind was not good at that, his mind was a planner, an organiser, basically a control freak. Maybe that was why he was so fucking amazing at his job. The ginger called himself a taxi and while he waited he saw the silver haired man’s phone on the kitchen table, he must have put it there when they had arrived at his place last night. Ethan grabbed Aaron’s phone, trying the password he had always used back then and unlocked it to call himself with it. That way Aaron had his number and he had Aaron’s number.

When the taxi driver rang the doorbell the ginger quickly wrote a note for the other to pin onto the apartment door and then he grabbed one of the books Aaron had written before he left. “I’m at work. My number is saved on your phone, if something’s up or you just can’t bear it without me anymore, call or text me.”

 

Sitting in the taxi he was smoking the next cigarette and was texting Aaron his social media account data for him to look up his photos before he started to read a children’s book about an outcast unicorn getting weird looks from the driver. He was through the half of the book when the car arrived at the place he’d work for the time he was in that town again and he left it, his third cigarette sticking in the corner of his mouth while he was reading the book that was probably made for little girls as he was walking towards his office. The red head finished the book there and then went straight to work, already looking forward to lunch break.

 

Shortly before the lunch break he had gotten a lot of work done without a break but he had also smoked without a break a mountain of smoked cigarettes that helped him concentrate piling high in the ashtray and when it knocked at the door and Ethan turned around in his chair the latest cigarette was falling down onto the table. Jake Meyer entered the office, awkwardly smiling at him while he was carrying a little girl in a turquoise dress on his shoulder. “Good Morning Ethan.” He greeted and then turned to the kid. “That’s our project manager Tom.” He said to what apparently was his son after all. Jake let down his kid and the kid in the dress was walking over to Ethan. “Hello Mister!” he said and made a curtsy before him. “Hello little…. gi…uy!” the red head said and smiled at the kid. “I’m a princess.” The little kid said. “Yes, I can see that.” the ginger nodded and the kid smiled at him. “Do you build castles too?” Jake’s child asked and Ethan smiled. “We don’t build a castle now but when you’re a grown queen than you can hire us and we’ll build you a fabulous castle.” He informed the kid and the kid jumped up and down in the dress. The grey eyes of the child fell onto the desk of the ginger and the eyes sparkled before it went forward, climbed onto Ethan’s chair and onto Ethan and grabbed the unicorn book from the desk.

 

“Tom! Don’t! We don’t just climb onto people!” Jake scolded the kid but his child didn’t listen to him. “I’m terribly sorry!” Jake Meyer apologised to Ethan. “He just really loves those books you see.” The muscular man said and grabbed the kid under the arms taking him away from Ethan who had been avoiding the child’s elbows. “No problem.” Ethan shrugged it off. “But you said he was your friend in school.” Tom protested the scolding as if it was totally fine to just climb on chairs with friends on them. The ginger raised an eyebrow and looked at Jake with narrowed hazel eyes. “I wouldn’t say we were ….” He started but Jake bit his bottom lip and looked almost pleading at the nerd whom he had used to torture in school to not tell his son that his father had been like the people who tortured him in school every day now. A reluctant and unwilling sigh came from Ethan and he clenched his teeth when he said. “…we were really good friends, I helped him with math because he sucked at everything that wasn’t sports.” The ginger said and he could see the tension leaving Meyers body and the kid laughed. “You were really bad at school. I’m really good at school but I still hate school because all the other kids are evil.” The kid said playing with his dress. “Yes, I was not good at school.” Jake admitted and it was true, he had sucked at everything except sports.

 

Jake sent his son to go outside and then looked at Ethan. “Thanks buddy.” He said and the ginger closed his eyes and sighed. “I didn’t do it for you, for the kid. This kid has it tough enough as it is.” he informed him. “I understand. Man, I’m really sorry as I said yesterday and I didn’t want this to go this way and I didn’t let anyone say something bad about you being gay, if they give you shit just tell, I can punch them for you.” He offered wanting to make what he had done to Ethan good again and wanting to get along now. “What?” the red head asked. “No. Don’t fucking punch people that won’t solve anything Jake. It’s fine. I get it, you’ve changed and you regret what you’ve done. Just give me some time.” He said and grabbed his phone, cigarettes, purse and keys shoving Jake outside because it was time for his lunch break now.

 

He took another taxi into the towns centre and made it stop at Franciscka’s pastry shop. It was playful, colourful looking shop and when he entered he heard the woman’s voice from the backroom telling him that she’d be there any minute. When she appeared behind the counter full of artistic looking pastries she smiled at him but didn’t seem to be able to identify him right away. Franciscka was still obese and she still was girly and used a lot of make-up, though it was a lot more professionally done nowadays it seemed. Her long brown hair was flowing down to her broad hips and she was dressed in a knee-long pastel coloured dress with a petty-coat. “What can I do for you Sir?” she asked him and smiled, didn’t look miserable at all somehow. “Franciscka!” he said and took his arms away from his body as to let her see who he was. For a moment the woman was confused but then she realised it. “Oh my god, it’s Ethan! I heard you were here again and dropped the gay bomb at the school reunion.” She laughed and walked around the counter, waving her hands in the air, her uncomfortable looking shoes making noises on the tiles, until she hugged his body so strongly that he thought she might break his bloody rips and he was used to men hugging him so this meant something.

 

“Where have you been all those years? I was worried when you suddenly disappeared.” She told him and Ethan looked surprised. He had not expected that Franciscka would have been worried; she had always seemed annoyed by his jokes and his attitude. “I moved to New York. To a friend, who then was my lover. Long story.” He summarised and she smiled. “I knew that you were gay.” She said as if she was fucking Sherlock Holmes and had solved this complicated case as the only one in town back then. “The way that you looked at this stupid Wilson, it was so obvious. And he kept toying with your heart anyway. It made me want to break his neck as if he was a Christmas goose and serve him with an apple in his mouth like a pigling.” She said and made an awful gesture with her hands. “Please, didn’t you just want to do that to Aaron because he was with Jenny!” Ethan remarked with a smile. “So you noticed as well huh.” the woman chuckled. “Well, that too of course. He went out with all my crushes and then he just dumped them. Jenny, Conny, Nathalie. And I had made best friends with Nathalie and was trying to get her to love me and to see me for years and then he came along and ruined it and it was only Aaron here and Aaron there.” She ranted. “Do you know how that feels!?” she almost yelled at him now. “Uhh, obviously, yes.” He nodded and she laughed. “Of course I almost forgot.” She punched his shoulder.

 

“Oh, you wanted to buy something didn’t you!” she chuckled and went behind the counter again. “Yes, I want two banana cupcakes.” He told her and she looked at him and blinked her eyes. “You don’t eat bananas.” She said and Cornwell laughed. “Yes, I know but that you still know I wouldn’t have thought.” He commented and Franciscka pursed her lips and her face looked not so amused anymore. “How could I not. After prom you grabbed some chocolate banana and you spat it out onto my pink flokati and went ‘Yikes!’ even before you and Dave puked out of my window that was.” She reminded him and it made him only laugh harder. “Well, they aren’t for me anyways. I would like the blueberry and the vanilla one though.” He ordered and Franciscka was packing them up for him. “You don’t perchance have a whole banana somewhere?” he asked then and she raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Yeeeeeees.” She answered and Ethan grinned widely. “Can I buy this from you too?” he asked. “You can have one but what for?” she asked, handed him the cupcakes and went into the other room to get a banana which she gave him too.

 

“Thank you, you’re gold.” He nodded and went over to the table at the window. Ethan unpacked one of the banana cupcakes and Franciscka walked around the counter and placed herself next to him when the ginger took the banana, pealed it and shoved it into the cupcake. “Oh hell no!” Franciscka exclaimed shaking her brunette head making Ethan bust out into laughter. “You’re still gross! And childish and gross! I was totally right when I said men were disgusting. And you are especially awful since you never had a woman to correct your misbehaviour.” She placed her hands into her hips. “Thanks Franciscka you always know just what to say.” He commented, pulling out his phone and taking a photo of the construct he had built there. “What are you doing now?” she wanted to know. “Sending this to Aaron.” He said and made a video of how he was moving the banana in and out of the cupcake getting hit by Franciscka who shook her head at him, before he send both to Aaron with a winking emoji and the comment ‘At Franciscka’s!’.

 

“Why are you sending this to him?” she wanted to know. “Because it’s hilarious.” He answered. “Don’t you think he won’t find it uncomfortable to have a gay man sending him this?” she asked not to be mean but to spare Ethan getting hurt. “He’s not that straight after all. We kissed, at many places of our bodies.” He told her with a self-satisfied and accomplished smirk on his lips and her eyes widened. “No!” she exclaimed hitting his shoulder with her hand. “Yes!” he nodded. “No, I don’t believe …” she hit him again. “Believe it!” he assured her and then she smiled and hugged him again. “Aww, that’s so great for you. And for the women of this town whose hearts he always breaks this di….nice gentleman.” She said and the ginger chuckled. “Thanks.” He said. “Ah, paying, I shouldn’t forget. What do I owe you?” he asked her as he was packing up the banana with the cupcake again. She shook her head. “On the house.” She winked. “And greet Aaron from me.” she chuckled. “Thank you, I will.” He said, hugged her to say goodbye and walked to the door. “Ethan, you have to come over for coffee sometime.” She invited him and he turned around. “I would love to but I’m allergic to cats.” He said and Franciscka raised her perfectly plugged eyebrows. “I don’t have cats!” she answered clearly. “Really? Are you sure?” Ethan asked for confirmation surprised, almost baffled. “I am sure!” She barked and he laughed. “Alright, I’ll definitely drop by then.” He assured her before he left the shop.

 

Ethan got into the taxi again and drove the few streets further to the library where he paid the driver and went into the building. He asked a lady who worked there for Aaron and she told him he was at the fantasy department. The ginger walked through the high shelves with all the books, the typical smell of the library filling his nostrils until his hazel eyes got to see the sexy body of Aaron in front of the shelves, his arse looking way too hot in those jeans for his own good.

 

The ginger was sneaking up to him, pressed his body against the other’s and covered his eyes with the hand he wasn’t holding the bag with the cupcakes with. “Hey sexy!” he said in a playful tone of voice whispering into the other man’s ear. “Did you get my message with the nice pictures I send you from the pastry shop? I went there and bought us some lunch.” He informed him, then took his hand from the other man’s eyes, turned him around and kissed his lips, greedily, not caring that they were in public, almost pressing the silver haired against the huge shelves filled with books. When their lips parted he grinned and stared into the blue eyes. “Franciscka sends her regards to you.” He told him, his arm wrapping around the man’s waist. “And I wanted to discuss your book. The one with the unicorn! I could read it before Jake’s little child took it from my desk.” He told him. “It’s such a cute book. And it’s also damn gay too.” He laughed heartedly and kissed Aaron’s cheek before pulling him over to one of the tables, unpacking the cupcakes, shoving both banana cupcakes towards the librarian.

[Ayakashiu]

“Wow, so philosophical. Maybe you missed your occupation,” Aaron teased, but what his friend just said was true. He got serious again, when his friend asked him how come he cared about other people’s expectations. “Well, it’s not so much that I care, but you know how town’s people can be pushy? Most of them think that being single at my age means there’s something wrong with me and I figured that it’s easier to just go on a date every once in a while, instead of trying to avoid it completely. Basically the people expect me to want to find a companion, so I oblige and pretend I’m searching. Or the reunion! I couldn’t care less about it, but I knew everyone would expect me to be there and if I didn’t come, they would just bug me about it. Easier to just go and show my face than be bothered by everyone later on. Although right now, I’m glad I went.” He shot his friend a smile, because if he didn’t go, they wouldn’t meet again so soon.

 

The light-haired male just couldn’t help but chuckle at Ethan’s joke about another part of his body growing bigger around him and the way he wiggled his eyebrows. “No, that doesn’t include another part of your body. That part can grow whenever it feels like it.” There was a teasing grin on his face, when he spoke, but the soft kiss his friend gave him, surprised him. Aaron thought he will definitely need to get used to this, but it wasn’t a bad feeling, having someone be gentle with him.

 

“Thanks, I’ll check them out tomorrow.” He still didn’t feel like searching for his phone, although he was curious. But the comfortable warmth, radiating off his friend, made him not want to move at all.

 

Having his lips pulled upwards into a mock smile, only made the light-haired male scowl. But hearing his friend say sorry, made him look at him and say, “You totally made fun of me, but it’s okay, if you really are sorry.” He knew he probably won’t get much more out of the other man.

 

Obviously his comparison with sleep-overs wasn’t to Ethan’s taste, because it made him raise his eyebrows and comment he doesn’t want it to be that way. To show exactly which way he wants it to be, Ethan pulled him close and grabbed his butt. The suggestion he breathed into his ear and the kiss on his neck, made goose-bumps appear on his arm and he couldn’t help but inhale sharply at the feeling. He was always sensitive there. “If you don’t stop right there, we won’t make it to the bed tonight,” came his reply, trying to sound light about the situation, but the truth was he could get aroused painfully quick this way.

 

When the other man’s arms wrapped around him, his body covering his own, the light-haired male sighed contently and he only manage to reply with a sleepy “Good night,” before he was out.

 

 

 

Aaron woke up when there was already light outside and he felt disoriented. The clock by his bedside said it was 9 am, so he still had some time, before he needed to head out. It took him a few moments to recall what transpired the evening before and he just kept lying on the bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, wondering if it wasn’t all a dream. But it was clear that someone slept next to him, so it must have really happened. Now that he was alone, it was hard to believe everything that occurred. His childhood best friend was back, he now knew all the reasons that made the other leave in the first place and not only that, he now had a boyfriend! That was definitely something that will shook up his whole life here. Was it really a good idea to rush it? Aaron didn’t see Ethan in ages, so was it alright to start a relationship after only spending one evening together?

 

The direction in which his mind was heading, wasn’t really optimistic, so the light-haired male got up with a sigh, stretching himself and tried not to think about what could go wrong. A thought struck him that this was one of the rare mornings, he didn’t jerk off. It was his daily routine by now to touch himself as he woke up, but having a lover who had a very skillful mouth did have its perks. Aaron couldn’t help but grin, when he remembered what they did last night. The warm feeling that spread in his belly, reassured him. If only a thought about being intimate with Ethan brought on this kind of feelings, it couldn’t be bad. So Aaron decided to just go with it and not worry unnecessary.

 

After the detour to the bathroom, he rummaged through his closet to find some fresh clothes, preferably something that will cover up his neck too. His reflection revealed that the love bites his friend left on him yesterday are clearly visible on the light skin. The turtleneck sweater he pulled on didn’t hide his neck completely, but at least it covered most of the marks.

 

After getting dressed, Aaron made his bed, cleaned the remnants of pizza and their glasses from the living room and then started to make himself breakfast. While he waited for the toasts to get done, he noticed a cup Ethan must have used and it made him realize, how his friend made sure not to interrupt his sleep and he didn’t leave a mess behind when he left. That was one thing that the light-haired male really appreciated, since he was used to living alone and had his own routine. Having to change it for his partner right away would surely be a bad start. So Aaron couldn’t help but find it sweet that the other man left him sleep.

 

He put butter and jam on his toast, eating behind the counter as he made himself coffee to go. He was able to drink gallons of the brown liquid when writing and couldn’t start his day without caffeine in his system. When he was almost ready to go, he noticed his phone on the counter and the notification light was blinking, so he picked it up to check his messages. There was a text from his friend from earlier this morning, containing the information about his profile, where Aaron could find photos they discussed yesterday. He was really curious and wanted to check it out immediately, but knowing he will be late if he does, so he put the phone away, grabbed the coffee and his keys, then headed out.

 

There was a note waiting for him on the door and the light-haired male couldn’t help but chuckle at the last part. He already knew that Ethan saved his own number into his phone, since he already saw his text and he thought his friend really had a good memory, if he still remembered his password after all this years. He will write to him later on, after checking those photos of his.

 

Outside it was still a bit chilly, although the sun was warm and it will get even warmer through the day, so Aaron walked fast to warm himself up and to be on time for his part-time job. He wasn’t in charge of opening the library, so it wouldn’t be a big deal if he would be a few minutes late, but he still preferred to be on time.

 

The day passed fairly quickly, since there was a lot of work to be done. If his co-workers noticed the marks on his neck, they didn't comment. Mrs. Brown, an older lady who already worked here when he was still going to school, was the only one who gave him a chiding look. There were some new books that needed cataloguing, people needing help and before Aaron could manage to take some time off, it was already noon. He took the opportunity to go and check his friend’s photos. Ethan looked really good and the guy next to him too. It made the light-haired male feel remorse for being apart for so long. They had a lot of catching up to do. As he was scrolling through pictures, he got another text from Ethan. He eagerly opened it, just to find a picture and a video of his beloved cupcakes getting defiled. His mouth started watering involuntarily and he cursed his friend, before furiously replying, “I hope Franciscka kicks your ass for ruining her artwork,” adding some angry emojis after the text, before hitting send. He paused for a moment, thinking he’s getting hungry already and how nice it would be to eat those cupcakes right now, before sending another text. “You better be buying those for me!”

 

After that, he tried busying himself with putting away the returned books and he was at his favorite department, when a hand covered his eyes, a familiar body pressing against his. The playful tone of his friend’s voice made him grin. “Yes I got your message, but there were no nice pictures in it! But I’m prepared to forgive you, if you brought me my cupcakes.”

 

He was spun around and before he could comment any further, Ethan’s lips were on his, greedy and demanding and Aaron returned the kiss, his hands slipping around the ginger’s body, gripping the shirt on his back. When their bodies parted, his sky blue eyes looked into the hazel ones with a scolding gaze. “First, we cannot do this here, because I really don’t want to be responsible for causing some kid trauma so early in life. Second, I’m really happy to see you too, especially if you are bringing me food. Third, did Franciscka kick your ass?” An impish grin accompanied his words.

 

Ethan slipped his hand around his waist, telling him that the pastry shop owner sends her regards. It made Aaron dumfounded for a moment, before he replied, “Are you sure she’s sending regards to me? Because I would expect her telling me I can move my lazy ass to her shop myself, if I want to eat anything she makes or something like that instead. She really should like me more, considering how much money she makes off me.” He sounded sulky, really not knowing what he did to her that made her dislike him.

 

Hearing which book his friend choose to read first, made the light-haired man groan. “Don’t make fun of Mr. Unicorn okay?? Kids love him. But why did you need to pick one of a few children’s book I wrote? There are plenty for young adults to choose from.” He didn’t want Ethan to laugh about his books and his friend’s reaction made him feel protective. “Oh you met Tommy? That’s one adorable kid. The book you read, he was the inspiration behind it.”

 

Ethan guided them towards the table in the corner and Aaron couldn’t help but gasp, as two of his favorite cupcakes were pushed towards him. “You really did bought them for me, you’re so awesome! I was afraid you just teased me with that picture.” As soon as the words were out, he was reaching for the first one and taking a bite. “Mmm, pure heaven I tell you,” he murmured with his mouth full, making a satisfied face. “I should eat them quickly, because Mrs. Brown will scold us, if she sees us eating here,” he whispered in a conspiratorial manner.

 

The first cupcake was gone fast, but Aaron wanted to savor the second one, so he took small bites and ate slowly. “So how was your day? Did anyone say anything about what happened yesterday?” he asked curiously, hoping that his friend didn’t have any troubles, before adding, “Although I think Meyer would just punch anyone who tried to harass you.” Having a kid like Tom, really made the former bully look on this matter in a new light and he became much more accepting of others. Aaron sometimes got the feeling the kid was raising his father, instead of the other way around.

 

He almost finished the second cupcake, before he noticed his friend didn’t buy one for himself. The light-haired male wanted to know if Ethan will like them too, so he extended his arm, offering the last bite to his friend. “Try it, you cannot not love these!” If it was anyone else, Aaron wouldn’t even think of doing this, but he wanted to share his favorite pastry with the ginger.

[-Hideki-]

The corners of his lips shot up in a grin when Aaron responded to him asking him if he had gotten the lovely pictures he had send him from Franciscka’s shop. “And there I was being so romantic and you are this cruel and don’t appreciate it.” He jested with a fake pouting face at the other not liking what he had done with the banana cupcakes. It got replaced by a genuine smile though. “Of course I have bought you your cupcakes.” He told the other and that was the reason he had bought them to begin with because he wouldn’t eat them, too much of the wrong kind of banana on and in it.

 

Ethan was freely letting his desire and passion for the other male flow into the deep kiss he was giving him, shielded only by some large book shelves and only alone in that moment what could change any second. The ginger didn’t care if anyone saw them kissing though. They could see it and think whatever they wanted; it didn’t matter to him at all. There was nothing shameful or wrong about his love for the silver haired male and the person having a problem with them kissing and being together would be the one being indecent and disgusting in the red haired man’s eyes.

His heart was beating heavily, he was holding tightly, feeling Aaron’s fingers dig into the jacket of his suit and his tongue was wrapping around the other’s greedy for contact and connecting.

 

When their lips parted Wilson’s incredible blue eyes peered up into his and he could drown in them. How could someone’s eyes be that intensely blue? It was impressive and stunning and he loved those eyes that were endearing despite the cold colour. A sigh came from him when the other spoke though working off a list of points he wanted to address. He didn’t like point one. “Trauma? I have feelings too you know.” He scolded playfully. “Do you really think anyone would get traumatised from seeing us kiss? I think they’d much rather hope to ever find someone who loves and desires them the way I love and desire you. We’re a totally cute adult couple and if those brats don’t see that it’s their problem. And especially the kids of this backward shithole should learn that two men can love each other and it’s nothing wrong with that regardless of what their lunatic evangelical parents tell them.” he said a little more serious.

 

Upon the second point he grinned playfully again though. “I’m happy that you too are happy to see me.” He replied and let out a laugh when asked whether Franciscka had kicked his arse. “No she didn’t. She totally loves me alright. She even said she was worried when I disappeared. Then she called me gross and invited me to her place for coffee.” The ginger told his lover with a wide smirk. “Just so you know, because you mentioned how supposedly good I hid being gay, she had noticed back then. She had also noticed I was in love with you.” Ethan informed the other chuckling.

 

Ethan chuckled when he saw how dumbfounded and surprised Aaron was when he told him Franciscka was sending her regards to him and it didn’t die down when the other expressed what he would have suspected her to say and that he found that she should like him more considering the amount of money she made of him. The ginger let his fingers trail through the silky silver strands of hair. “Well, maybe she will now that you’re not going to pinch her crushes away from her only to dump them shortly after anymore. Do Jenny, Conny and a Nathalie ring a bell? She also told me that she doesn’t appreciate how you treat women in general.” He explained to Wilson why the pastry shop owner had an antipathy against him since he could imagine that it was a shitty feeling to be disliked by someone without knowing the reason why they even disliked you.

 

There was a smile playing around his thin lips when Aaron was getting defensive over his book, apparently taking what he had said the wrong way and as negative. Cornwell took his boyfriend’s face between his hands and made him look up to him. “I didn’t make fun of your Mister Unicorn. Not only those kids love him, I love him too. It was a complement when I said he was totally gay. I’m totally gay too you see.” The ginger told him and kissed the librarian deeply again, not caring about the man’s earlier objection to them kissing in the library. Nudging his nose against the other males he smiled. “I will read every book of yours anyway so I didn’t really look at what I grabbed. I just quickly took a book before I left and was surprised myself when I figured what I had taken there when I sat in the taxi. Not as much as the driver apparently though as he looked at me weirdly the whole time. “ he told Aaron. “I’m open to suggestions though. Which of your books would you suggest I shall read next? Do you have any books with a gay human character in it?” he asked pretty sure that his friend had not written any book with a human gay guy in it, though that unicorn was fucking flaming there was no doubt about it.

 

Though he had not expected that Jake’s kid had been the inspiration behind that children’s book it made total sense now that the writer had told him. Ethan smiled at what the other said. “I can totally see that. That child is definitely unique.” The ginger found. “I can’t imagine what he’s going through though. I was only a gay nerd and people couldn’t see I was gay just by looking at me and this rotten place crippled me and would have destroyed me in the long run, it must be a thousand times worse for a kid like him though, someone so obviously feminine. He seems proud and strong though.” Cornwell found. “I struggled with his gender and he answered he was a princess.” Ethan laughed. He couldn’t help but to think that if Meyer was smart he’d leave that town with his kid and move to somewhere more accepting and less religious. Sure such a kid would struggle there too but it would be no comparison to the hell the kid will go through here.

 

As soon as they sat down at the table Aaron was all over the cupcakes like a hungry beast and Ethan couldn’t keep himself from smirking as he looked at him and wishing that the other would be that hungry for him and all over him too one day. The ginger had not even unpacked his own cupcakes when the first pastry had been already eaten by his friend who was already at the next one. It was fascinating to see the other that crazy for some food. Usually it was the ginger who ate stuff faster than the other man but it seemed different with those cupcakes. Maybe Franciscka could tell him how to make those cupcakes then he’d be able to bake them for the other man. Ethan wasn’t a professional obviously but he could bake things and he also liked baking together with his partner.

 

He just got thrown out of his thoughts when he was asked how his day had been and that was when he took a bite of the vanilla cupcake, swallowed it down and shrugged his shoulders. “Got a lot of work done. I will have to empty the ashtray when I return to the office. Kissing you was my highlight so far.” He let the other know. “I fortunately don’t work with many of the towns people. Only Meyer and Charlene and Charlene had called in sick today, she’s probably hungover from that school reunion. So I’ve only seen Meyer and you’re right, he made me the generous offer to punch everyone who makes a retarded remark about me being gay.” The red head let the other know and laughed. “He seems to have switched sides but his methods are just the same as back then.” Ethan informed Aaron and then smiled at him.

 

“And what about you? How was your day? Did you think about me? Missed me?” he asked wiggling his eyebrows again, then he laughed. “And did you look at my photos? How do you think I looked dressed like a warrior?” he asked in a playful tone of voice remembering those LARP sessions. Ethan had played a knight and his ex had been an elf and a hot one on top of that. The blond man had had a rather lean figure and had been tall hence had been able to pull that look off amazingly, with that long arse white-bluish wig. The red head also had a thing for elves what his former boyfriend had known so it had been more tempting for the man to dress up like that. They also had been in that LARP group when they had been in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and had been all over each other to the point it had annoyed some other players. The pictures also more often than not showed the two of them kissing, cuddling or being physical in one way or the other. But Ethan didn’t even remember that anymore because it had been a long arse time and he hadn’t looked at them in ages, the costumes he remembered perfectly though. There also had been pictures from the comic-con and the cosplay show group where they had done normal cosplay, pictures from his favourite bar, pictures from pride parades, pictures from concerts, from Broadway shows, his goldfish, just all kinds of stuff from the man’s life in New York, even a photo with Bertram the homeless guy when Ethan had bought them Christmas cookies with different pictures on them to show the nicely done giant cookies.

 

His playfulness and smile faded when he was presented with a piece of cupcake smelling the scent of bananas on it when Aaron wanted him to try them, promising him that he could not not love those. “I would but I don’t think the old hag would appreciate if I spat something out on that table you know.” He said with an awkward facial expression. “I’m certain I’d totally love those banana cupcakes if it weren’t for the bananas.” The red head said. “I really can’t stand actual bananas Aaron.” Ethan told him quickly stuffing a piece of the vanilla cupcake into his mouth to fill it, remains of cream topping in the corner of his lips.

[Ayakashiu]

“I think anyone would be traumatized seeing us kissing like that, our gender not really important,” was his cheeky reply to his friend saying he got feelings too. The fact was that this part of the library was frequented by younger kids too and they would probably be really shocked if they came upon this scene. Or at least Aaron hoped they were still that innocent, because the way they just kissed was definitely not! It made his body grew hot, the way his friend kissed him greedily, intertwining their tongues. The light-haired male would want to do much more, but not here.

 

Ethan remarking how much he loves and desires him left Aaron lost for words. All this time he was thinking how his friend didn’t care about him at all and finding out it was the exact opposite was a bit of a shock; it will take some time for the light-haired male to grasp it completely. So instead, he focused on the comment about them being cute. “Seriously, what’s with you calling everything cute? How are we cute? I don’t see it at all,” he couldn’t help himself but chuckle, before he added on a more serious note, “While I do agree that everyone here should be more accepting of same-sex relationships and many other things, we should still act decently in public places.”

 

Aaron couldn’t help but frown at the other’s words. “Who are you and what did you do to Franciscka?” He shot his friend a suspicious look, before continuing, “I don’t think she loves anyone, so you must have done something to her. And how the hell did she notice these things?! You weren’t acting anything like a man in love around me, so it must be some weird woman intuition or something.” Now his ego was really hurt. He didn’t want to believe that a girl like Franciscka could notice something that he completely overlooked.

 

Feeling his friend’s fingers play with his hair sidetracked the smaller man, but hearing the names, made him flustered. He was together with all three girls Ethan mentioned at some point and not for very long either. Also hearing someone else dislike how he treated girls made him feel like an asshole. Was he really that bad? He thought of himself as a gentleman around ladies, always being polite and nice to them, at least until they wanted a serious relationship. But even then, he was never mean to them. “Well, guess I need to start treating them better then so she’ll like me more. Maybe she’ll give me free food then,” he joked, grinning at the thought.

 

Hearing the ginger compliment his book so directly, of course made the light-haired male blush. He wasn’t used to it, but it made warmth spread through his body. He really, really wanted Ethan to like his books, so he murmured a quiet “Thank you.” The public displays of affection that the other seemed prone to, were also something new that Aaron needed to get used to. It always made him feel awkward, if he was next to a couple that was all over each other, so he tended not to be like that either. But his friend seemed to not have problem with it. For now, he decided to let him be, since they were alone in this section of the library. “I never thought of writing a book with a gay character in it, aside from the one you have already read, so no. But there is this series, about a young knight, going on adventures with his friends. There are wizards and dragons and magical creatures and,” realizing he might be getting a little too enthusiastic, he smiled awkwardly and continued, “Well, you’ll see. I’ll give you part one and you’ll tell me if you like it.”

 

The light-haired male couldn’t help but laugh along, as he heard that Tommy told his friend he is a princess. “It is true though, he is a princess. And he has it hard. It helps that his father supports him, but…” He sighed and pulled a hand through his hair. “He comes here often, but I never know what to say to help him. I was bullied too, but never like this. Maybe you should talk to him sometime!” He looked up hopefully, his azure blue eyes staring intently at the other. The idea just popped into his head, but if someone would be able to help the kid, it would be a person who went through something similar, right?

 

“You smoke so much while you work?” Aaron asked, his brows creased. “That isn’t really healthy, is it?” He did smell cigarette smoke on his friend, but he couldn’t tell if it was from one or more cigarettes. It made him slightly worried about the other’s health though. Hearing that kissing him was the highlight of Ethan’s day, made him feel flattered and he chuckled. “I so knew he would say that!” the light-haired male couldn’t help but laugh. “He thinks the only way to solve problems is by punching someone. Apparently that’s how real men do it.” He grinned at his friend, finding that kind of thinking childish. “But I am happy he is there to protect you, if there are any troubles.”

 

His friend didn’t want to talk much about himself, or so it seemed, when he buried him with questions. “My day was the same as usual,” he shrugged, not really believing his friend wanted to hear about him stacking books. “I did think about you and yeah, I checked some of the photos. Not all though, since there are a lot of them!” His lips tugged into an involuntary smile, as he continued, “You do look really good as a knight.” Aaron purposefully refused to mention the other person in those pictures, not really wanting to talk about his friend’s exes. They looked really happy together and it just reminded him how unhappy he made his friend. “Maybe we should do something like that together, if you are still interested in it. There’s a comic con next month, not far from here.”

 

Aaron didn’t expect his friend refusing to try his cupcake, so he looked at it bewildered, before the realization hit him. The other did always have a problem with bananas, but the light-haired male didn’t think he actually couldn’t stand them. He should have remember that. “Oh,” was the only reply he managed, before his friend was stuffing his mouth with his own cupcake and there wasn’t much left to do, but follow his example. He did notice the other had some cream in the corner of his mouth and he chuckled, before pointing it out. “You have something,” he tapped a finger to his own mouth, showing the spot to his friend, before he realized that it would be easier, if he just removes it himself. “Here, just let me.” He reached over the desk, scooping the remaining cream with a brush of his thumb, before sticking it into his own mouth. “This one is good too. I think everything that woman makes, tastes like heaven!” A thought crossed his mind that he could just lick it, instead of using his finger, since they were together now, but it felt embarrassing. So he looked away, as he sucked his finger clean, feeling like the room grew a bit hotter.

 

To hide his awkwardness, he changed the subject. “When do you think you’ll be finished with work? I could help you bring your things over, if you want,” the light-haired male offered, not having any special plans for today himself. The only thing he wanted to do, was catch up on his reading, but that could wait. He wondered how it will be like, having a ‘roommate’. He had one in college, but being close made him come home often and enjoy the privacy of his own room. After that he just didn’t want to deal with another person crowding his space, but this was Ethan. He wanted to have him around as much as he could, after all those years apart.

[-Hideki-]

Ethan sighed deeply realising that his friend just had another perception about PDA in general it seemed. Maybe if one had asked him before he had moved in with that older man in New York back then he’d have had similar feelings Aaron had about it but that man in general had changed some of his outlooks completely while also strengthening others by figuring out that the other’s ways weren’t for him. He couldn’t help but to laugh though when the silver haired man protested them being a cute couple. “I don’t call everything cute. I call you cute, because I find you cute like it or not, hence you being with me I find cute too.” The ginger explained with a wink. “It’s unfortunate though that you can’t see what a great couple we make, I definitely need to make this clear to you.” He promised with a cheeky but wide smile. Another sigh followed though when the other stressed that they should act decently in public places another time. “Did you just call me indecent?” he rhetorically asked. “Fine. You don’t like my affection in public. Can I at least hold your hand when we’re out or is that too offensive too?” he said in a mocking tone. The place where he mainly went out with friends in New York was really casual and open about all of that and he had lived in that city for a very long time by now so he was even used to seeing people fuck in the back yard of his favourite bar or in the stall in the bathroom. It had led to a hilarious situation when one of the ginger’s friends had had to take a shit but couldn’t because the stall was blocked, really embarrassing for the couple and somewhat embarrassing for his friend.

 

The reaction to Franciscka liking him and having known that he was gay was incredibly amusing and it made him bust out into a fit of laughter when Aaron suggested that it must have been some kind of ‘women’s intuition’ for her to notice then because there was just no other way that she could have noticed. “Interesting theory but I doubt it was her woman’s intuition because if it was that would mean all the other women in the town lack their women’s intuition complete because they too didn’t notice, fortunately. If my mum had noticed… I don’t want to think about it.” The ginger shoved the thought away. “I think it’s more of a homosexual intuition if anything. She noticed that I was gay and had a crush on you and I noticed that she was a lesbian and was into your girlfriend.” Ethan told him the amusement about this seemingly bugging the other so much still clearly visible on his face.

 

Throwing the other a fake pout – although there was some actual disappointment and spark of doubt appearing within him – he reacted to the man saying that he should be nicer to the women he slept with in the future then so that Franciscka might give him free food for it. “And there I thought you’d forget about the women and focus on me from now on.” He complained. “How disappointing! Franciscka doesn’t like that you throw your flings away like dirty underwear after you’ve got to fuck them. I wonder how she feels about it if you do that to me. She can relate to me in a way after all. That Nathalie was her friend and she had been trying to get her to like her when you snitched her away and then dumped her.” The ginger told the other. “I got free food from her by the way.” He said in a teasing manner and with a wink.

 

However it was in moments when the other said stuff like that that he realised that he still felt uncertain and insecure about all of that. The fact that Aaron had only been with women before just made this different and less secure for him. He had never been in a relationship with or only had something or considered something with someone who had considered himself straight, he had actively avoided such guys like the plague especially since they oftentimes were infected by internalised homophobia that they projected outwards too. But he loved Aaron. He had always loved him. He had always wanted to be with him and so far it seemed the other didn’t have much of an issue to figure out that he was attracted to Ethan and he didn’t seem to be like one of those guys at all fortunately.

 

“I thought as much.” He said when Aaron said that he had never even thought about writing something with a gay character. “But maybe you want to consider it. Especially since you write books for kids, teens and young adults and there is as good as no representation of LGBT people in form of fictional characters for those demographics. People are even still actively trying to deny any representation in stories for kids and teens to not ‘make them gay’ as if we were some threat.” He told the writer. “When I grew up there were no gay characters at all and I know that I’d have really enjoyed an LGBT character or even something as radical as two LGBT characters in one of the dozens of media I consumed aside from bloody porn which I watched as a teen too. It’s important for LGBT kids and for acceptance in society. Maybe you could even write a story with an LGBT protagonist, you can still make the side kick straight or whatever.” The man from New York told his lover this time being really serious about what he was saying.

 

The book Wilson recommended him sounded interesting and it made Ethan nod and curious as to how he picked that one. “Sounds good so far.” He said. “Why do you think I should read those first?” he was interested in knowing and also interested in reading the books. “Why do you not use your real name for your writings by the way?” he asked. “I mean it’s not like you write smut or fucked up horror and splatter shit. Why use a pseudonym for kids and teen stories?” he wanted to know because he would have used his name if he wrote a book but he couldn’t write books or much any fiction for that matter.

 

There was a strained expression on his face when he heard that Jake’s kid oftentimes came to the library at that age already. The ginger himself had liked to spend time in the gaming hall that had existed in that town back then but was now out of business and he had played pin-ball, pac-man and such things until school was over and he could go back home. He had almost always done that when Aaron had been sick and he would have had to be in that fucking school without his friend even. The red head sighed though and pressed his fingers onto the bridge of his nose when the librarian suggested that he should talk to the kid. “I could but I wouldn’t know what to say either not to mention that I am not really good with kids and talking to them in a way that they can understand to begin with.” He thought. “I mean, what advice could I give? ‘Save all your pocket money so that you can flee to New York in the morning when it gets unbearable’ or what?” Ethan commented self-ironically. “You know how I handled the situation, by hiding - what he can’t because it’s too frigging obvious -and by running from this shithole and the people here moving in with a man twice my age living across the nation and ending up fucking him as a teenager. I have absolutely no regrets but I don’t think that this is a general good advice to give a primary school kid and I think Meyer would strongly disapprove.” The red head sighed. “No, I think you handle this a lot better and you’re building that kid up, with your book and everything. It’s great that you did that for him.” He genuinely said. “Does Meyer know that he hides here though?” he wanted to know.

 

The hazel eyes of the man shone as he smiled at Aaron hearing him say that he did think about him and that he looked at some of his photos. A laugh came from him when he mentioned how many photos there were on his social media site. “Yes. I like taking photos, capturing small moments I value.” He let the other know. “It’s only for friends though; no one else can find them.” The ginger informed the other man. “Have you seen the photo of the figure made from discarded metal? Bertram made it for me for Christmas, he spend a lot of time to collect the metal from the trash and then made a figure out of it.” Ethan told him. It was the picture that followed the one with the cookies because the day after that Bertram had given the figure to him.

 

There was a wide, coquettish smirk on his face when the silver haired told him he looked good as a knight. It generally made him happy to hear that the other man found his looks appealing. It was something that he had never heard him say back then and Ethan had never said something along those lines to the other man either as it would have been incredibly suspicious. The suggestion that followed surprised him but it was a pleasant surprise. “Sure thing.” He said. “What would you like to cosplay then?” he was curious to hear what the other had in mind. “We have to plan this after all and one month is pretty soon to begin with.”

 

Ethan looked at the other man questioning when he suddenly started to chuckle after the ginger had stuffed his mouth full with the vanilla cupcake so that he was physically unable to take in any banana cupcake. Being told that he had something on his face his eyes squinted down but he could only see his nose. “Where?” he then asked his mouth still full of cupcake when the other already pointed at the corner of his mouth! Automatically he raised his hand up not considering that they were basically mirror-inverted and it meant that the remains of his food were stuck in the other corner. When he realised that though Aaron had already leaned over the desk and he felt the man’s thumb brushing over his lips before licking the cream from his thumb. The touch created a spark in him and made his heart pound and it only got worse to see how eagerly the man licked on his thumb, the delighted expression at the taste of the cream and it made him wish that Aaron was sucking something else whilst going ‘This is so good’ and while his mind was drawing that scenario the ginger felt how he got aroused and trying to think of something different didn’t help either because he then was thinking about Aaron licking the ginrger’s fingers for him to insert them into his …. He felt his blood being pumped into his cock and he closed his eyes and then forced to focus on the cupcake and what the silver haired had said about Franciscka. “Yes, I think so too. She is an expert when it comes to food.” He commented wanting to sound casual but he noticed that Aaron had averted his eyes from him and he couldn’t help but to think that the man must have noticed how hot Ethan had gotten and was being uncomfortable now.

 

Focussing on the last bite of the vanilla cupcake so that he didn’t have to think about why Aaron had gotten that awkward now nor the arousal that had built up in him all too quickly he listened to the other man’s question. “Around 4pm I suppose.” He answered taking the blueberry cupcake next. “I didn’t take too many things so there won’t be much to help with but I’d like you to accompany me either way.” Ethan truthfully told the other. He’d see that there was nothing one needed help with anyway if he came along so he could tell him right away. The ginger felt a slight nervousness that had not been there the night before. He was still very much excited to stay with the other considering their new circumstances but he also was nervous as to how the silver haired would respond at the long run or if he’d back down from what he had said last night after all. If he’d decide that he’d prefer to be with a woman again after all even though he was attracted to the red head. And although he deemed it unlikely the fear that the man would get crazy angry about him and blame him and accuse him of having seduced him to do that was still present. This situation was not only new to Aaron it also was to Ethan. Not being with a man of course but being with a man like Aaron, who had not been with a man ever before and there were fears that came along with that in general especially since he was someone who avoided to get physical with “straight” blokes completely and who had never wanted anything with a supposedly straight man. He knew that many had that fantasy of turning a self proclaimed straight guy gay although it would be impossible was he actually straight but the ginger didn’t, he didn’t want to sleep with a man who pretended to be straight because he hated himself and being attracted to men. He knew that Aaron wasn’t such a guy but there was still the possibility that he suddenly realised he didn’t want that after all or freaked out and he didn’t want that to happen, didn’t want to go through that.

[Ayakashiu]

Hearing that his friend thought of him as cute, therefore thought of things connected to him cute as well, made Aaron sigh. He would much preferred being connected to words like ‘cool’ or ‘awesome’ or ‘manly’, but of course he had no such luck. Ethan winking at him, while promising he needs to make it clear what a great couple they make, did bring a smile on his face though. “And how do you plan to make this clear to me?” he asked teasingly. He already knew they make a great couple, just that he never thought they could become a romantic couple, instead of just friends. But now they were here and the light-haired male was just taking things as they go, because he knew that it would be no good, if he started to overthink this.

 

“We both know very well, you are completely indecent Ethan,” the smaller male said with a wide grin, recalling last night and the feel of his friend’s tongue on his erection. He could feel the warmth spreading in his abdomen, as the vivid memories coursed through his brain and he needed to scold himself internally, since they were still in the library. The other’s mocking words did make him think about how his actions might be interpreted and he didn’t want the ginger to think he doesn’t like his affections; it was just awkward for him. So he reached for the taller male’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “I really like your affections, I do.” It was the truth, even though it was embarrassing saying it out loud. “I just…,” it was frustrating, finding the right words, “I guess having my head filled with how to behave and not do anything considered sinful my whole childhood, did stuck with me. So give me some time and I will try to get more comfortable with it, okay? Holding hands seems like a good start, so yes, you can hold my hand while we're out.” He gave another squeeze to his friend’s hand, feeling a bit nervous, a light blush creeping on his cheeks. Truth be told, he always found it bothersome when his past partners wanted to hold hands all the time. It wasn’t something that meant anything to him, but holding Ethan’s hand that was big and warm, didn’t feel so bad.

 

What he said, made the other man burst into laughter, again. “I’m glad that my problems amuse you so much, you really are a true friend,” Aaron said with a sore smile, half jokingly, half seriously. It was nice that he could make his friend laugh, but at the same time he didn’t want to be mocked. The mention of Ethan’s mother did somber him. He didn’t even want to imagine, what the ginger’s parents might do, if they found out about all this before his friend left. He recalled the ginger saying they met when he returned and it wasn’t a pleasant reunion. “Huh, homosexual intuition makes more sense, so that must be it. Well it doesn’t matter now, let’s not dwell on the past.” The light-haired male felt better about the whole thing now and he didn’t really want to be reminded of his ignorance in the past anymore.

 

Seeing his friend pout, made him snort with laughter. “Who’s being cute now? I should make you pout more often, it makes you look adorable.” It made the other look younger and more playful, which was what the light-haired male always loved about his friend. The complaint he got from his friend and then hearing how he threw women away like dirty underwear, did sting and he groaned, feeling like a complete asshole. “I am focusing on you now! I meant treating the women in general, like opening the doors for them and such, not sleeping with them!” He sighed, before asking, “Was I really that bad? Hearing you say that, makes me feel like a complete douche.” He was suddenly feeling down and he didn’t even respond to his friend’s teasing about getting free food.

 

Aaron was stunned, listening to the other’s idea. “That’s…a brilliant idea! That way, kids might learn to be more accepting about homosexuality.” He was suddenly getting really excited about this, thinking it was a good start for his next book, even though he didn’t plan to start on anything new, at least until his last book was published. “Although my books aren’t that popular to reach a lot of kids, at least some might benefit from it. How should I go about this? What kind of characters would you enjoy reading about as a kid? Should I focus on humans or would it be better to include other races or even animals?” Gears in his brain were turning at full speed, considering what kind of theme would be best. Maybe he could make a spin-off of his already existing series, placing new characters in the already established world. Or just creating a new one, making it more about the character’s personality and the problems he’s facing, instead of giving emphasis on events around him. He should also include a girl couple, since there are a lot of girls struggling with the same problem. The azure blue eyes were shining with exhilaration, as he was mulling over the possibilities in his mind.

 

It was a nice feeling, when his friend showed interest in reading his books. “Well, I guess those are my favorites, so I want to know what you think about them. I only planned to write one book, but then the world and the characters pulled me in and I ended with a series. There are five books out now and the sixth, I just sent to my publisher. It needs to be proofread one last time and then it goes to printing.” A small smile was playing on his lips, while he was talking about books, but answering the question about using a pseudonym did make him a little embarrassed. “I don’t want people to know my name, to be honest. I love writing and I love when kids like my books, but I just prefer to keep my privacy. The town’s people know, because they helped me out when I started, but otherwise I don’t really like telling people about what I do. It’s just bothersome to deal with all the people who write to you, you know? That’s why I rarely agree to book signing or appearances and if I do, they are never near here."

 

It was clear his friend cared about the kid already, from the strained expression on his face, as he listened to Aaron's explanation of the situation. The light-haired male found he likes that, especially now when he knows how much his friend hates this place. He was a bit taken aback and his brows shoot up, when he listened to the other recap how he handled the situation. The part about ‘moving in with a man twice his age and ending up fucking him as a teenager’, definitely bothered him, even though it wasn’t the first time he heard it. “You’re right, maybe sharing your experience wouldn’t be a good idea. But telling him he’s not alone out there, might help. He doesn’t have anyone like himself around here. Also, he was quite reserved around me the first few times he came around, but with you he seems to be at ease, if he told you he’s a princess right off the bat.” Beaming a smile to the ginger, he tried again, “Just give it a chance. If you’ll hang around here you will most likely bump into him eventually and you can see what happens. Please? For me?” Aaron looked at him pleadingly, biting his lip. He became really attached to the kid and it would mean a lot to him, if Ethan was willing to do it. He didn’t want to force the other into anything, so if he would refuse again, he would drop the subject. Answering the last question, made him chuckle, “Yeah, he knows. You could say that was the beginning of our ‘friendship’. They were both going through a rough patch back then and Meyer was really grateful for the help. He really surprised me, the way he handled everything. Knowing him, I thought he might try and force the kid to change.”

 

Capturing small moments he values, huh? It made the light-haired male’s chest tight with regret. The other had a life which he knew nothing about and it made him wonder, if he could even be a part of it again? He was left behind once before, what if it happens again? No, he didn’t want to believe that! Things were different now and the past won’t repeat itself. “I didn’t come that far yet, but you and Bertram are really good friends, aren’t you?” It was really sweet of his friend and he was starting to understand, how you can find another man cute; the more he learned about the ginger, the more the word ‘cute’ appeared in his mind.

 

The smile Ethan shot him then, erased any thought of cuteness, replacing it with another feeling altogether. The flirtatious smile on his friend’s face evoked something in him and the light-haired male couldn’t help but reciprocate with his own. He made a mental note to compliment his friend more often. The question about what they should cosplay as, made him think. Definitely not anything like Ethan already cosplayed; Aaron wanted to make new memories and he didn’t want to be compared to another guy. “You’re right, one month isn’t a lot of time, so we should do something simple.” The idea was good, but the problem was, nothing he wanted to cosplay was simple. “Would you prefer to cosplay an actual character from a game or something like that? Or rather something general, like pirates or wizards?” The light-haired male never cosplayed before, so he wasn’t sure how long they would need for a costume and what they could actually pull off in a month.

 

It only made him laugh harder as his friend squinted and then tried to wipe the cream on the wrong side of his mouth. But looking away, trying to not make a big deal out of removing the cream from his friend’s lips, only made him think of it even more or rather, think about licking, sucking and other things he should not be thinking at work. Ethan agreeing with him about Franciscka’s food, sounded a bit strained and it made the light-hair male glance at his friend. He seemed a bit off and it made Aaron curious. Maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling like this, so he got an idea.

 

As his friend answered his question, telling him he doesn’t need help, but would appreciate the company, Aaron reached over and stole a piece of the blueberry cupcake. “Then I’ll just put in some extra hours here and you can pick me up when you’re finished,” he replied, before putting the stolen piece in his mouth, making a show of sucking off his fingers, watching how his friend would react. He always enjoyed teasing his friend, although not in this way, but it was more thrilling to be the one doing it, instead of being on the receiving end, which was usually the case for him. So he first took one finger in his mouth, sucking the remains of the blueberry filling off, accompanying it with a soft sigh as his eyelids closed half-way. Then he licked his thumb, before putting it in his mouth too, making a popping sound as he pulled it out. The pastry itself was delicious, but it would be even more delicious seeing Ethan flustered because of him.

 

Just as he was getting really into it, a woman’s voice interrupted him, making him flinch. It was like a wake up call, reminding him he was still at work and shouldn’t be trying to make his friend, no, his boyfriend worked up. “Aaron, sorry to bother you, but some kids are asking about a comic and if you can order it for them,” his colleague said, looking uncertainly at Ethan, before focusing back on him. She was giving him a weird look, which made him flush red, hoping she didn’t just witnessed his little show. Also, his member half awake already, didn’t help him feel comfortable and he needed to clear his throat, before replying, “Could you just put the titles down and I’ll see what I can do? And tell them to come around in a few days? Thanks Alison.” He shot her a smile, trying to cover up his awkwardness, hoping she will just do as asked. He at least had some luck, because she murmured an uncertain “Okay,” and with another glance at his friend, she was gone.

 

When they were alone again, his shoulders slumped and a sigh escaped him. It was moments like this that made him wish, he wasn’t so awkward. He risked a glance towards the other, expecting to be ridiculed after failing at seducing him, wearing a pitiful expression that was saying ‘please have mercy’. He was already thinking what a stupid idea it was in the first place and how he should never ever attempt something like this again.

[-Hideki-]

Grinning Ethan looked at the shorter male and raised his eyebrows giving him a seductive, mysterious gaze as he said:”I’ll think about something, you’ll see then.” When the other man wanted to know how he was planning to make him see what great of a couple they made. Further he just answered with “I disagree.” After Aaron had insisted that both of them knew that the ginger was completely indecent. Although it had a joking, playful ring to it the man was actually serious about this. Ethan didn’t see that he was in any way indecent at all. He had seen indecent things and his love and desire for the other male wasn’t one of them.

 

The casualty on his face made room for a more surprised look that disappeared again as soon as it had appeared when he felt the silver haired man’s fingers on his hand, taking it and giving it a squeeze before he was informed that Wilson did enjoy the affection Ethan was showing him going on about how it was difficult because the religious indoctrination they had undergone as children did have an effect on Aaron who was still to a degree cautious and not wanted to be seen and uncomfortable doing something considered sinful but agreed that holding hands was fine with him and that it was a good start. “Great. And the next step will be me laying my arm around you! Maybe I should write a guidebook too: ‘How to not think about exchanging affection with your boyfriend as sinful and indecent step by step, simple and easy’.” He couldn’t help but to tease the other.

 

With a laugh and a wide smile his hazel eyes looked at Aaron when the man remarked that he should make him pout more often because it made him look adorable. “I can be really adorable in a lot of ways.” He said wiggling his eyebrows speaking in a jesting seductive tone of voice. Wilson’s mood however seemed to change when confronted with his behaviour as formally described by Franciscka while also assuring him that he wanted to focus on Ethan now but had meant being more of a gentleman to women in general mentioning holding doors open for them. “You don’t hold the doors open for people now? Do you let them smash close into their faces or what?” he asked. “I hold doors open for everyone. Men and women! Letting the door fall close into their faces would kinda make me a cunt. Although I like holding doors open for hot guys more. I bet no one has ever or would ever let a door smash close before your handsome face though.” The ginger guessed with a smirk on his lips before he addressed what apparently concerned his friend more than he had suspected because he asked whether he had been as bad and that hearing this made him feel like a douche. “I don’t know Aaron, I wasn’t there. I only know what Franciscka said and what you told me yourself and that’s what I got from it. You didn’t want anything other than sex from those chicks and dumped them as soon as you’ve gotten it. There is nothing wrong with casual sex and only wanting uncomplicated quick sex but you left those women under the impression that it was more than that, that you wanted a relationship with them too and that’s where the issue lies if you ask me. If you want to fuck only make that intention clear, tell them you want to fuck and nothing more, this way you can fuck someone who also only wants to fuck, spares yourself any conversation and pretended interest, it’s a lot easier and convenient that way too than the way you chose for this. But maybe it doesn’t work like this if you’re straight. No clue.” The red head shrugged. “Doesn’t matter though. It’s history. What matters to me is how you feel about me now. I am not into one night stands and casual sex; it’s not my game, doesn’t give me anything, so if you’d only want to fuck I’d be the worst choice you could make.”

 

The red head blinked his eyes a little overwhelmed about the incredibly enthusiastic response he got from Aaron after he had suggested that he might want to consider writing a book for kids and teens with an LGBT protagonist. It was also a somewhat funny how the silver haired apparently just now seemed to realise that this could actually create more acceptance for LGBT people amongst kids and teens and how thrilled that made him about it. The other man could say what he wanted, he was cute as fuck! Cornwell was met with a lot of questions and he answered them with a smile. “A humanoid character definitely! No animals! Not that half-bestiality furry bullshit either! It doesn’t matter whether it’s a human couple or an alien couple or a human and an elf. I’m into elves by the way, can’t help it. It just has to be humanoid.” The red head said. “As far as what kind of character goes, it should be the main character; the character should be likeable, stand his ground, be respected by the decent people of his environment and not be a victim of the ‘let’s kill off the gay character’ phenomenon. I also want to see a gay hero in a fantasy or superhero story or universe, a normal book that isn’t some coming out story, there are enough of those. It shouldn’t focus on the fact that he is gay and make this his most distinguished characteristic and the whole story, the story should be about something else. He should just be gay like the usual protagonists in movies or books are straight. Those books and movies aren’t based on the fact that the character is straight either do they? They just show it as a natural part of the character and I want to see this with a gay character too.” The ginger described what he’d have liked to watch or read and what he still would like to read or watch only written for an adult audience as he wasn’t a teen anymore. “I also know some people who could give that book more publicity in New York and who’d totally support your work.” Ethan assured Aaron.

 

He was thinking and scratching his chin while he was listening to Aaron who told him that even though telling him about his experiences wasn’t a good idea telling him he wasn’t alone might help him and asking him to at least try to talk to Meyer’s kid again. “I might try, I can’t promise anything though.” he agreed to it. “I also won’t pretend to be the same as him. I don’t have the experiences he makes. I never cross dressed, I’m not feminine, I’m just gay. I have a friend who might be able to help a lot better though. He’s a drag queen, both out of passion and as a profession.” Ethan stated. “Maybe when I go back home, you and Tom can visit New York and he can talk to him and some other drag queens even and see the backstage and all this. I’m sure he’d like it. And if he has to I’d even tolerate Meyer accompanying you.” The red head suggested as this seemed like a way better idea to him than only him trying to talk to the kid about being gay.

 

He looked at Aaron with questioning wide eyes when the man commented how Bertram and he appeared to be really good friends. “I have never thought about it like that.” he truthfully said and he had not. Bertram had always been Bertram the homeless guy to him whom he had first seen on his way to work seven years ago and whom he had given a sandwich and then had bought some pastry or food every work day, having a small conversation with the man before he went over to the building he worked in. He had never seen them as friends, but Bertram was a part of his everyday life since seven years… maybe they were friends after all, well, they gave each other stuff for Christmas too and exchanged information from their lives. “One might say so though, I guess.” Ethan smiled and chuckled.

 

“An actual character! Doesn’t have to be from a game. We can cosplay something from comics or movies and series too.” Ethan informed Aaron. Just dressing up as a random pirate or wizard wasn’t something he liked. Even his and his ex’s LARP characters had not been random, they had created those characters according the role play world they had joined and the characters had been well thought through and they had actually loved to play them and put their story together. “There must be something that you’d like to do. Just say it, we see if it’s realistic then.” The ginger encouraged the librarian.

 

“Sounds good.” Ethan commented when Aaron told him that he’d make some extra hours and that the ginger could pick him up after work then but his hazel eyes moved to the man’s hand looking a little confused when Aaron reached for his blueberry cupcake and took a piece of it, eating it and then doing those fingers again… and how…. this was definitely fucking deliberate. Apparently Cornwell’s heat had not made the other uncomfortable but had inspired him to get the red head even more aroused and to tease him more and it worked. He peered at him closely, at that facial expression, hearing those sighs the other man let out and Ethan envisioned him sucking his cock, cumming into his mouth and Aaron taking the remaining cum onto his fingers liking it off and heat was spreading through him, blood rushing into his cock that was growing further in his pants and Ethan changed the position he sat in, holding his breath as he watched the other and his mind was running all over the place, taking in a deep breath.

 

An annoying high pitched female voice sounded and made Aaron stop immediately while at the same time throwing Ethan out of his too graphic sex fantasy. The woman was giving him a suspicious, disapproving glare before looking over to the librarian, giving him a weird look before mumbling something about a comic. That woman had been a girl in his class once, she had never liked him and he had forgotten her name nor did he give a rats arse about her. The ginger tried to cool himself down during that conversation of the two, he tried to calm his arousal but it didn’t work all too well. His dick was hard, his pants uncomfortably tight and he couldn’t think about anything else than pressing the silver haired against the wall in the archive, spreading his sexy little arse and fucking him senseless. What only aroused him even more.

 

Finally the woman disappeared and he could see the other man letting his head sink probably embarrassed because there was no way that chick had not gotten what he had been doing there if she wasn’t completely brainless but he didn’t care about that either, the other had deliberately done that with the intention to arouse him after all and he had achieved that. Ethan moved closer to the table and leaned over, laying both of his hands over Aaron’s looking into his eyes directly, a flash of hunger to see in his own hazel glance. “Splendid Aaron.” He congratulated him. “Who is the indecent one after all?” the red head teased because his friend who had acted embarrassed about kisses in the library had seduced his boyfriend in the library. “Fuck, I’m so hard now because of you. How do you plan on taking responsibility now?” he breathed into his ear in a horny voice.

[Ayakashiu]

The vague answer he got to his question, only made him chuckle, but the stern ‘I disagree’ made him sigh. It was obvious his friend was bothered by Aaron’s comment about being decent in public and they will need to talk more about that later. So the light-haired male didn’t comment further on the matter. He was, however, a little piqued by the next comment, about Ethan writing a guidebook. “You make it sound worse than it is. I’m just uncomfortable with exchanging unrestrained affections, it doesn’t mean you can’t touch me.” That wasn’t completely true, since he was usually uncomfortable with acts of affection in general, but with the ginger, he didn’t mind touching or small things like that.

 

Seeing his friend wiggle his eyebrows, being playful, made him laugh out loud. An adult male claiming he can be adorable in a lot of ways, was just…adorable. He wanted to see more of this Ethan, joking and laughing about stupid things. It made him relax and just enjoy the moment, not thinking about everything he needs to do today or anything else. Like he is a kid with no worries again.

 

The question about Aaron not holding doors open for people, earned his friend an aggravated stare. It was obviously just an analogy, not an actual thing he plans to do, since he was already doing it. Like his friend pointed out, it would be plain rude to let a door smash into somebodies’ face. “Yes, I do hold the door open for people and no, I don’t think anyone let it shut into my face before. Although I’m quite sure it’s not because of my handsome face,” came his reply to the other’s teasing, the comment about his face making him crack a small smile.

 

The smile faded as soon as the other continued speaking. Aaron wished that his friend would sometimes just lie and say he’s great, just to make him feel better. He wanted to defend himself, since he didn’t want only sex with some of the girls, he just didn’t want them clinging to him, but he realized that it wouldn’t make a difference, since those girls wanted exactly that. And telling a girl you only want to fuck…well most of the time, that didn’t go down well. It was the first time he regretted getting involved with so many different women, not wanting Ethan to think bad of him. His friend did say it doesn’t matter to him though, what matters is how Aaron feels about him and that was a complete opposite to what he felt for those random girls. It made the light-haired male feel relieved and he hoped, it really didn’t matter. “You know I care far more about you, than for any of those girls,” the light-haired male said firmly, before an impish smile crept on his face. “And you’re the first person I’m dating that I want to spend 'quality time' with, instead of having sex, so maybe it was the right choice for both of us.” It was funny to Aaron, realizing this relationship was the exact opposite of all his previous ones. Here, he actually didn’t want to think of sleeping with his friend, his doubts about the whole thing still present.

 

Aaron listened carefully to what his friend was saying, his head nodding as his mind was going through all the options. He crossed the option about focusing on the character’s feelings too much, the ginger pointing out how there are enough coming out stories already. That would actually be easier for the writer, since he didn’t have this kind of experience himself. There definitely won’t be any elves in the story that was for sure! The light-haired male was averse to the idea, after seeing Ethan’s photos of his ex. Or maybe he’ll make one elf a villain. The idea was starting to form in his head and he needed to run it by his agent, who was great at brainstorming and always helped him get the final details, before he started to write. “Ok, I think I know what I want to write now, but I’ll most likely flood you with questions, because I’ll need to do tons of research and you’re my main source,” he said with a smile. He was really excited about this, probably because it will be something he will work on with his friend, not alone like before. “Thanks, but let’s just wait what my agent has to say about this and then how the book turns out. But I would love to get feedback from some of your friends, who don’t know me and won’t be biased.” He bit his lip, trying not to laugh, as he shot his friend a flirtatious look. Then a thought crossed his mind. “I would actually love to meet some of your friends. Maybe they’ll give me some ideas for my characters.” Also, Aaron wanted to know people his friend spends time with and what they’re like, but he didn't say that out loud.

 

Hearing the other say he will try to talk to Tom, made the light-haired male beam and a big smile appeared on his face. “Of course, no one’s expecting you to promise anything! Trying it out is all that I’m asking.” It meant a lot that his friend is willing to do it, although he appeared a bit reluctant. Inviting them to visit, was a nice gesture from Ethan, but it made his smile falter a bit. For Aaron, it was just another reminder how little time they have together. “I think the kid would be ecstatic to hear he can come visit your friends. And you shouldn’t pretend to be the same as him in that way, but hearing you say that you’re different and that you were bullied too, would be a lot.” He paused for a moment, before continuing with a soft smile on his lips, “Thank you.”

 

It appeared that calling him and Bertram friends, was a new information for the ginger, which amused Aaron. “Seriously?” It made him chuckle, thinking that it was cute how Ethan didn’t realize it. His friend calling him cute all the time, must have rubbed off on him, because he was starting to get it. “From what I gathered, you two go along well with each other, so I would love to meet him one day.”

 

The light-haired male was thinking of cosplaying an actual character, since that seemed like more fun than just doing a random costume, so hearing his friend say it too, made him nod enthusiastically. “I always thought that cosplaying Iron Man would be awesome,” he admitted to his friend, but as cool as that would be, the light-haired male didn’t have any idea how to make a costume like that. Also, he wanted them to be a pair, not cosplay totally different characters. “Oh, what about picking our characters from ESO?” It was a game he was playing right now and there was a lot to choose from. They could choose which character they wanted to be, but would still have a lot of maneuvering space for their costume.

 

His little show appeared to be working, if the other’s resettling on the chair and sucking in a deep breath, were any indications. It made Aaron feel a bit overwhelmed and he was barely containing the smirk that wanted to appear on his lips. But then he was pulled back to reality, when his colleague seeked him out. This only served to prove, how he had every reason to avoid doing things like this in public. It always ended up this way for him. He was an idiot and he should have known better. He nervously pulled the rim of his sweater further up his neck, realizing that after his little stunt, people will pester him with questions about the marks to find out more about what was going on.

 

The expectations he had about his friend’s reaction, were completely wrong. When they were alone again, Ethan reached over to cover his hands with his own and congratulated him. It left the light-haired male speechless, before he flushed bright red at being called indecent. It was karma, because he told his friend they shouldn’t do things like this in public only a few moments ago and now he was getting what he deserved for behaving as he did. But seeing hunger in the hazel eyes and feeling the hot breath on his ear, as his friend asked him how he plans to take responsibility for making him hard, translated directly into his groin. He wavered for a moment, thinking it would be best if they continued this at home, but the temptation was too strong. He knew he was stupid for doing this, but he only had a short time left with Ethan and making the most of it was more important for him right now, than worrying about being decent.

 

He stood up, looking around if there was anyone close, before grabbing the ginger’s hand and pulling him after himself. “I should really give you the tour of the place, it’s pretty amazing what hidden pleasures you can find, just behind the corner,” he said over his shoulder, smirking. He thanked whatever force above that made him go work in the fantasy section just before Ethan arrived, because it was the furtherest away from the entrance and close to the room, where they kept the books in need of repair. Aaron took on this job, because before, the damaged books would just be thrown away and he always thought it was a waste. So now, he was the only one bothering to use the room and see which books he can still salvage.

 

He pushed the ginger in the room, closing the door quietly behind them. There was no lock and the room was pretty cramped, books stacked everywhere around the table in the middle. The light-haired male’s heart was beating like crazy as he turned around and leaned on the door, facing his friend. His voice was hoarse as he quietly asked, “How do you want me to take responsibility?” He didn’t care how stupid this was or what would be the consequences, if they were discovered, right now he only wanted to feel Ethan’s hands on himself.

[-Hideki-]

There was a smirk on Ethan’s face that was rather smug when the silver haired male looked that pique after the red head had teased him with the guidebook remark telling him that he made it sound worse than it was, that he just wasn’t comfortable with exchanging unrestrained affection and that Cornwell could touch him. “I definitely need to demonstrate to you how my unrestrained affection looks like, because our loving little kiss wasn’t it.” The hazel eyes were glaring and the smug smirk turned into a dirty one as he teased the other male further.

 

A laugh escaped him when the other looked at him like that informing him that he did hold doors open for people and that no one had let it fall shut into his face either but that he didn’t think it was due to his handsome face. “Maybe you’re right. It probably was that arse after all. Who would let a door fall shut into a guy’s face who has such an arse?” Ethan commented, grinning widely. He enjoyed himself a lot. More than he would have ever deemed would be possible if he returned to that hellhole. He had actually seen himself working and then sitting in his hotel room completely miserable counting every minute until he could head home again. But this wasn’t the case. He was with Aaron. He had kissed Aaron and Aaron not punched him but returned the kiss. And he had sucked the man’s dick, had heard his moans, had made him cum. It seemed totally surreal. Like a dream or a fantasy. It wouldn’t actually surprise him if he would soon wake up and be still on the aeroplane, not even having arrived in town yet.

 

Wings were beating in the pit of his stomach, his heart was starting to hammer faster and he could basically feel those words on his skin. Hearing Aaron say that he cared more about him than about all of those girls he had been with was something he had dreamed of hearing before. He had wished of hearing so damn often back then. If he had been religious he would have prayed for it probably. The ginger listened closely when the other man was continuing to speak and while it was nice that he wanted to spend quality time with him there was something that worked like a flyswatter hitting a butterfly, hard, just that their broken wings weighed heavy as stones in his guts. He was thinking about ‘quality time’ instead of sex. Spending time together but not being intimate. Meaning he didn’t think about sex with him at all. It hurt somewhat. He couldn’t help it. This was definitely not what he had dreamed to hear. How was this different from back then? He preferred hanging out with Ethan but he didn’t want to kiss and to fuck.

 

The ginger put on a smile to overplay it but the expression was somewhat awkward still. “I like quality time.” He commented and then his hazel eyes peered directly into the blue ones, staring closely and observant. “As long as sex is not off the menu! I really like dessert too you see.” He remarked reminding the other man of what being in a relationship meant, that he desired him, that he wanted the other to want to have sex with him. That it wouldn’t be more functional if he was enjoying spending time together and being close like before but didn’t desire sex with him.

 

Smiling at the man he nodded in agreement when Aaron informed him that he knew what he wanted to write now but that he would flood him with questions because Ethan was his main source. “You can ask me everything and I’ll answer to the best of my ability.” The ginger said. It made him oddly happy that the man was actually eager to write a book like that. That he was euphoric about the idea even and already had ideas for it. “I’m actually already excited to read your book then.” He told the other as he looked into his cute face and he wanted to cuddle him to death and kiss his lips dry on his face in that moment but he didn’t do everything. He behaved. He didn’t want the other to get uncomfortable again after all.

 

He was seriously surprised that the man declined his offer to use his contacts for more publicity for the book but that he would like his friends to read it and give him feedback but he was even more surprised when the other said that he’d like to meet his friends for ideas for characters. “Are you serious?” he asked trying to imagine his friends in a fantasy novel. Ethan knew a lot of people, he had a lot of good acquaintances and also business contacts but his number of real friends was, well, assessable.

 

There was his best Marco who was a handsome scriptwriter for a large TV channel. He was bisexual but preferred men as they were a lot less complicated and every day on which Marco didn’t at least have one hook-up from this app he constantly was using was a wasted day for him. He was actually a man who made it very clear that he only wanted to fuck; he claimed his life-style was due to his refusal of hetero-normativity and monogamy but Ethan knew him well enough to know it was an excuse.

 

Then there was Elayn. Ethan had met her in the union for LGBT students in his freshman year in college and she had also been the founder of the living community he had moved into after he had broken up with the older male he had been in an open relationship with. She was a rather tough and forward person and had an alternative way to dress. She had studied design but had then become a tattoo artist after college anyway and owned her own studio. Even the small wedding party of hers and her wife had taken place there although both Ethan and Marco had offered her to pay for a location.

 

Jonas was a flamboyant gay man and a drag queen. He worked on different stages but mostly at Ethan’s favourite bar what had been where they had met too. Years ago on a Halloween party after Ethan had broken up with one of his exes and Jonas dog had died and he had gotten rejected by a crush they had made out in their drunken heads but had fortunately been disturbed before they could have slept with each other what would have been a bad awakening afterwards. They had never told any of their friends that they had made out or they would have gotten ridiculed for it mercilessly. Jonas had also found a boyfriend by now and they had gotten incredibly exhausting to be around the last few months because they were constantly fighting over whether they should get married and whether they should have a family. Jonas wanted to marry, his boyfriend found marriage to be an unnecessary idiotic concept and ritual by and for straight people that he didn’t need nor want to do. Jonas on the other hand didn’t want to adopt any children because they were annoying and would ruin his nice things while his boyfriend wanted a family.

 

The last one in their close friend group was Ethan’s ex boyfriend. The one he had met online, the one he had went to comic con with and had done LARP with not the one he had recently broken up with. The man’s face coming to mind he wondered how it would be if Aaron were to meet his ex boyfriend. He looked closely at Wilson as if it would make it easier to figure it out then but it obviously wasn’t. Would Aaron get jealous? Would he get competitive around him? He liked to think he would but it was unrealistic. Of course Aaron would not be jealous of his ex. His ex would probably be more uncomfortable with it again than the librarian. It was a disappointing thought but he unfortunately couldn’t imagine the silver haired caring about this and being passionate and claiming over him. Aaron had not told him his feelings yet, he had asked Ethan but he had not said anything himself. Nor did the other kiss him or initiate any other form of intimacy on his own. And he was only thinking about hanging out and having a good time but not about having any sex with him either. So why should he be jealous of the man who had had Ethan’s body and heart before if he didn’t even seem sure he wanted it?

 

 

Gosh the way the other beamed at him alone made his heart swell and his knees weaker. That gorgeous smile only made it worse. Ethan nodded quickly when the other said that he wasn’t supposed to pretend that he could relate to what Tom was going through in particular but that he should just say that he was different and had been bullied to as a child. “I can do that if you think it helps. “the red head said. “Should I say how I was different or no?” he asked. The ginger really had no clue about how to talk to kids well. There weren’t any kids he was around at all. None of his friends had kids, at least yet and he really couldn’t imagine Jonas as a father. He’d probably get unconscious if he should change a diaper or the kid puked on his favourite shirt or something like that.

 

Questioningly he looked at Aaron who seemed to be both amused and surprised to learn that Cornwell had never considered the idea that Bertram and him were friends. “Yes.” He said. “I just brought him food in the morning during the last seven years.” He said. “I think we do get along well though if I think about it.” The red head agreed and then looked rather baffled when the other said he wanted to meet Bertram one day. Now it was Ethan’s time to go:”Seriously?” That was unexpected for sure. “He smokes.” Ethan told him. “And drinks. And lives on the streets. He doesn’t shower that often.” The man told Aaron. “Are you sure that you want to meet him while you’re so sensitive about smell?” hinting at the other saying that Ethan stank.

 

Although he tried he couldn’t help but to laugh when the librarian said he wanted to Cosplay Iron Man. “Yeah, Iron Man is awesome.” He said. “But I can totally not imagine you as Tony Stark. Like absolutely not.” Ethan admitted still chuckling. He shook his head at the other suggestion. “Nah!” he commented. “How about DMC.” He made another suggestion and then reached out taking a strand of the light hair between his fingers. “You wouldn’t even need a wig; you have just the righ hair colour for it naturally.” The man stated. “And we’d look totally hot too.” He added.

 

For a moment he thought that Aaron was too flustered and too embarrassed by the situation to say or do anything now after Ethan had asked him how he planned to take responsibility of the boner in the ginger’s pants. He already wanted to sigh and ask for the bathroom or at least a broom cabinet because there was no way he was going to drive back to the office aching and awkward like that when the other man already stood, looked around almost paranoid before he grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

 

Confusion was to see on Cornwell’s face as he was pulled through the rows of books. Aaron definitely knew where he wanted to go with him though. Ethan was both too aroused and too disoriented to listen to the other man’s remark about showing him the library before he was already pushed into a small backroom. The room smelled of old books, a little musty even but there also was the smell of glue and chemicals in the air. Books were piling high and the red head walked over towards the table and leaned on it facing the door, the tent in his pants clearly visible, the aroused hungry look still in his gaze that met the other man.

 

Aaron who had shut the door close behind himself leaned on the door and the ginger imagined the man smirking at him, pushing himself off the door and walking towards him slowly whist erotically stripping out of every single piece of fabric he was wearing, revealing his stunning body to him, approaching him, wrapping his arms around his neck while Ethan was firmly grabbing and kneading his arse cheeks and he felt his cock throb and his body heating further while he imagined this but it wasn’t happening, it wouldn’t happen. It was not the right time nor place for it anyway.

 

In reality the librarian was looking rather tense as he stood there and instead of making a move he heard the other’s familiar voice sound asking him how he wanted him to take responsibility. Ethan took in a breath and his hazel eyes flashed up dangerously. ‘I want to bury my thick cock inside of you and ravage that tight, hot arse of yours.’ Was what he thought and what he would have said if it had been everyone else but Aaron. His former best friend Aaron, his now lover Aaron, the Aaron who was an anal virgin who had never been even physically close with another man before yesterday night and who was incredibly nervous and scared about the whole subject of anal sex. He couldn’t just do him like that. It wouldn’t be pleasant for the other and he’d totally scare him off by only saying that sentence to him probably. Most likely the man would run out of that door immediately and never turn around again. The ginger had promised the other one step at a time and he would definitely keep that promise and take it slow.

 

Hence he had to forget Aaron’s arse and that tight virgin hole for now and say something else, something more ‘moderate’ to the other. His eyes were still directly on the silver haired male, full of lust and desire for him. “Come over here!” he told him. “Then suck my cock!” Ethan than said nodding into the direction of his crotch.

[Ayakashiu]

Someone should tell his friend that the way they just kissed can’t be called little. But Ethan looking at him intently with those hazel eyes and smirking in that manner, still made Aaron flush and heat was pooling in his belly. He wanted the other to show him, but at the same time the thought made him nervous. He broke their eye contact as he looked away, trying to hold onto feeling annoyed with his friend, but he couldn’t. Just like that, with one sentence, the ginger managed to threw him off balance. “I’ll be looking forward to your demonstration then,” he replied, a smile tugging at his lips. He suddenly wished they could finish with work, go home and be alone, so he could relax.

 

“You…are hopeless,” was his reply to his friend’s teasing about his behind. He was barely containing laughter himself, feeling happy about being praised, but at the same time being aware Ethan was the only guy who noticed his ass. “I should start walking backwards, so people will make way for my glorious butt and I won’t have to wait in lines anymore,” he commented, making an engrossed face, like he’s actually considering it, but he couldn’t hold it for long, laughter bubbling out of him.

 

The other’s comment about liking quality time, wasn’t really convincing and the light-haired male needed a moment to realize why. He thought his friend would be happy hearing that, but the way he said it, did sound like he doesn’t want to do anything intimate with him. While he might be prepared to give it a chance and have sex with Ethan, the thought was still daunting and foreign to him. Not wanting his friend to think he changed his mind, he cracked a small smile and replied, “I like dessert too.” There were so many other great things about his friend than just sex though and he wanted him to know that, so he added, “I might only wanted dessert from those girls, but with you, I want the whole five course menu, dessert being like a cherry on top of the cake.” He blushed, feeling a bit stupid for saying something so corny, but the metaphor did translate what he was feeling perfectly. He got his friend back, but this time around, they ended up even closer. Ethan basically covered all of his needs and he realized how lucky he is to have him. An urge to hold the other suddenly overtook the light-haired male, who leaned over and squeezed the ginger into a tight embrace, not knowing how he could deal with it, if his friend decided to leave him again. He stayed like this for a couple of moments, until his position started feeling awkward and he needed to say something. “Just…let’s savor every course and eat slowly, okay?” He slowly unwrapped his arms, letting go of Ethan, who probably thought he was being weird acting like this, then sitting back down. He thought he was being weird, getting all emotional, but there was only one person who could see him like this and it was his friend. Aaron could always be himself around him.

 

Aaron really appreciated his friend’s willingness to help with his book. “Thanks, you’re the best,” he beamed, before adding, “After you read it and if you’ll like it, I plan to dedicate it to you. It was your idea, so it’s only fair.” It was funny how surprised Ethan seemed, when the light-haired male remarked how he might get ideas for characters, by meeting his friends. He always got inspiration from real people, using traits he found interesting or maybe a certain look, but he never based the whole character on a real person. Then a thought crossed his mind that maybe Ethan wouldn’t be comfortable introducing him to people in his new life he made, but he tried to ignore it. “Yeah, I’m serious,” he replied, as the other seemed to get lost in his own thoughts, suddenly looking at him like he was trying to read what Aaron was thinking. It made him uncomfortable, so he added, “I mean, if you want me to meet them. I just want to know the people you spend your time with, but maybe you can just show me pictures of them or something.”

 

Nodding eagerly to show how he thinks it will help, the light-haired male answered his friend’s question. “I think you should just do what feels right at the moment. I’m never sure what I should say either, so I just talk with him normally, ask him things I ask other kids, until the subject pops up and then I try and help him. But as I said, it took him long to open up with me, so you’ll see how he’ll be around you.” He shot his friend another smile, hoping he will be able to help more than he himself was.

 

Laughing out loud, Aaron couldn’t help himself but comment, “If you would bring me food every morning, that would definitely make you my best friend. Especially, if you would bring me cupcakes.” The way Ethan described the homeless man, made him laugh again. “I am aware that homeless people usually don’t shower often, Ethan. And I don’t plan to snuggle up to him or anything, so I don’t think the smell of smoke or alcohol would be a problem.” He started rocking back on his chair, a teasing grin on his face. “Or is he really handsome and dashing and will charm me completely? Because then his showering schedule might really pose a problem.” It seemed that a lot of time will need to pass, before his friend will forget Aaron told him he stank, but he still thought it would be nice to be able to smell Ethan, instead of just cigarettes.

 

His confession about wanting to cosplay Iron Man was escorted with laughter, which wasn’t surprising. He didn’t think he could pull off Tony Stark either. “He’s so awesome! And yeah, I would be a horrible Tony Stark, that’s why I want to cosplay one of the suits. I can do some good poses though, crouching down in superhero landing or something like that.” He smiled widely at his friend, who was still chuckling, until he gave his own suggestion about their costume and then touching a strand of his hair. Aaron loved when he did that and he smiled lopsidedly, before replying, “That’s an awesome idea. We should really do that.” Having the right hair color was a bonus and his friend was right, they would look hot. Also, the costumes won’t be too hard to make. “I could be Nero, with that cool arm of his. Which one of the characters would you want to be?” he asked his friend enthusiastically.

 

 

 

Aaron could clearly see the want in Ethan’s eyes and he couldn’t break his gaze away. His friend was leaning on the table and when he asked him what he should do, the ginger inhaled deeply and there was a flash in his eyes that made the light-haired male doubt this was a good idea for a second. When the other finally spoke, his voice sounded firm and didn’t leave any room for objections, so Aaron did what he was told. His heart was frantically beating in his chest as he pushed away from the door, moving to stand in front of his friend. Those hazel eyes were on his azure ones the whole time, as he undid the ginger’s belt. Dropping to his knees, he suddenly felt nervous, biting his lip. He didn’t want to give his friend a lousy firs blowjob, but he had no idea what to do to make him feel really good. He tried remembering what people did to him, what Ethan did to him yesterday, as he unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with the other’s undies enough, to reveal the throbbing erection.

 

Ethan’s smell assaulted his nostrils and it was stronger here, the cigarette smoke not covering it up. He looked at the hard cock in front of him, not knowing how he will get it in his mouth without gagging. He gulped hard, before looking up, wanting to see Ethan’s expression as his hands slid up over his thighs, one stopping at the other’s member, wrapping around it and caressing it, before he gave his friend’s erection an experimental lick. He started at the base and his tongue followed one of the perturbing veins to the top, where it circled around the head. The light-haired male could feel Ethan’s taste on his tongue and it was strangely arousing. He never thought he will be doing this to another guy one day, but here he was, about to have his mouth fucked by his childhood best friend.

 

He licked the other again, this time going over the top, sliding over the slit and feeling the salty taste on his tongue, before he wrapped his lips around the head and sucked it lightly. It was a weird feeling doing this and he had no idea, if Ethan was enjoying it, but he was sure the ginger wouldn’t appreciate it, if Aaron started asking him what he should do. So he continued, figuring the other will stop him if it won’t be enjoyable. He looked up, trying to judge from his friend’s expression how he’s feeling about this, as he slowly took his length into his mouth, testing how far it will go. At first he moved his head up and down cautiously, his hand following the movement, but he soon started taking more and more of Ethan’s cock into his mouth, while increasing the sucking too. He soon realized this was harder to do than it looked, so he griped the ginger’s shaft more tightly with his hand, trying to add more friction, all this time bobbing his head, finding a steady rhythm.