The Lewd Beauty And The Grump [Rin&Hideki] (Private)

[-Hideki-]

Rex Hutson

Pseudonym: William Brix

Gender: Male

Age: 41 years

Height: 1,93m

Hair colour: blond

Eye colour: blue

Occupation: Security guard

Sexual orientation: homosexual

Character traits: cynic, strict, distanced, disciplined, mysterious, dominant, bitter

Biography:

Rex Hutson was born into a family that came to honour in the military. Their history in the military reaches back centuries and can be marvelled at in the hall of the family’s residence.

Rex was the eldest and only son of his strict and conservative parents and therefore the heir of the family who had shown talent from an early age on. Since the day he was born and the doctor had marked male on his birth certificate he was predestined to become a high ranking officer in the military and he gladly did.

He had been a major general by the time he fell from grace and had got a dishonourable discharge. When the dishonourable discharge had gotten known to his father he got disowned by his family and told that his old man didn’t want to see his face around their house anymore. Rex’s duty as heir in the family fell onto his youngest sister Hannah who then joined the military instead of him and got turned into a new Rex by the man’s father because the middle child his sister Ginevra flipped her father the bird when he told her she had to give up her life and join the Army now.

With his name stained and no job anymore he had disappeared from his home state and two years later he worked as a security guard for a bordello in a crime infested district of a city he despised far from his home state where no one would ever search for him only known to the people as William Brix, with the exception of two friends he had found afterwards and he meets up in a pub with every week.

 

 

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The night was pitch black cloaking the dirty streets and the run down district into darkness, trying to cover up its scabby face like some ugly wench that tried to hide her true self under a ton of cheap make-up . And just as the wench the district didn’t get any more attractive either. It was the same old rotten place it was in brought daylight as well. Some damaged streetlights were flickering as if they had wanted to expose the filthy ugly wench that was that area and in her fury the hag had lashed out on it and had attempted to claw out its eyes with her chavvy fake plastic nails, punching and kicking it to the point where it could only flicker and shakingly try to point out the immoral, criminal ado that was taking place with its last breath.

 

It was Thursday night but it was not at all quiet. Rex Hutson, former major general, from a decent upbringing and proud family, could hear a gang shooting going on a few streets from there, squealing tyres were clearly echoing through the small, gross allays from the street race that was taking place every single night, sometimes even when the blond male came back home from his, well, let’s call it ‘work’ shall we in the morning. People were shouting and screaming at each other loudly, aggressively, illiterately. He could hear glass bursting in a side street as a thug had thrown in the window of a kiosk, then there was the alarm system going off, howling through the night like the theme song of this entire place.

 

But let’s not forget the stench! The stench that had made him gag the first weeks when he had walked those streets. That penetrating, disgusting stench! A mix of rubbish, putrefaction, excrements and gas pollution and it still didn’t fail to make him screw up his nose in pure disgust. He couldn’t decide what was worse though, the stench or the people. Gosh how he despised them. They were everything he hated, everything he saw wrong with this country and whenever he saw their faces he wanted to throw them down into their own dirty mess and press his boot into their empty, stupid faces, showing them their place, showing them what they were to the world, washing their heads but he doubted that there was anything left inside of their heads that could be cleansed as they probably had killed every single brain cell with drugs already. What a true waste of oxygen they were, all of them.

 

His blue eyes which were hidden behind black sunglasses even though it was night could see the silhouette of an old clinker house that was placed between two other buildings, one of which was a tobacco shop and the other a rundown French fries stall that only guaranteed a salmonellae contamination and hospitalisation after one had eaten there. That clinker house in between had red lights in its windows and one window was broken because of a fight that had taken place inside of one of the rooms recently. The entrance stank like a urinal and someone had smeared an ejaculating dick and a pair of tits onto the door. It must have been someone who didn’t know what kind of bordello it was as the whores as well as the clients were all males, no tits available.

 

This was Rex’s workplace, no, the tall, toned muscular man wasn’t a male whore that would have been ridiculous and he would have never sank that low, degraded to some creature, something undignified, no, he was a bodyguard hired to protect scum. Scum that he detested, that he looked down upon. And the vandalism on the door had already been there when he had started to work at that place. The owner, an old hag who had been a whore back in her days too and was now benefitting from young men who sold their bodies to gross perverts had not cared to get the door cleaned, she didn’t care much about maintaining the building in general. Hutson didn’t often see her; she mostly sat in a small room, drank like a drain and smoked like a chimney. Her voice was so raw that she almost sounded male and when one entered her room to get the pay check, one wasn’t even able to see her wrinkled, jaded face due to the smoke that clouded everything in grey.

 

As he entered the bordello and the door had fallen shut behind him the stench of the streets was gone and replaced by another type of stench. The whole establishment stank of cigarettes, sex, sweat and alcohol and the security guards boots were immediately stuck on the sticky ground that had not gotten cleaned since ages either. Beer, whisky and vodka, you name it, had gotten spilled and the ground almost worked like superglue at that point. Even when he didn’t enter the hall with the bar, the couches and the dance pole right away but turned right towards a brittle door with a yellowed piece of paper pinned onto it saying ‘staff’ the floor didn’t get any less sticky. It was just the same in the changing room as in the whole damn building.

 

Rex solely had to put his bomber jacket over the black shirt of his that said ‘Security’ on its back and he left the changing room on the other side and stood in the middle of a huge room. At the left side there was a bar, a sleep deprived, bored barkeeper with a bare chest and a bowtie standing behind the counter, one of his way too jolly colleagues sitting on a stool annoying the bloke with god knew what about his wife, or his daughter’s canary bird or whatever uninteresting stupid trivial story no one cared about he had to share. On the right side there were plenty of different couches and a bunch of supposedly ‘attractive’ – he doubted that – male whores were lingering around, waiting for the first clients, some bored enough to actually fondle each other already even though no one was there to see it.

 

One of those damn whores was especially annoying and he made sure to not look at him because this little piece of human garbage always smiled at him in this stupid way probably to mock him because Rex had expressed several times how much he loathed him.

Hutson walked towards the bar and intended to sit as far away from his overly optimistic colleague who had never seemed to understand that Rex was not his friend and didn’t want anything to do with him when Peter saw him and waved at him, telling him to come over.

 

The blond man let himself sink down one place away from Peter and the brunette male smiled at him asking him ‘How’s it going?’ in a cheerful way and Rex wanted to puke over the counter. How could that guy be in such a good mood while he was sitting in this rotten place to protect some gross, rotten whores? He was here, in that district, this place was a part of his life and he seemed to have arranged himself with it. It was despiteful. How could one arrange oneself with something as lowly? Rex could never. He couldn’t. “None of your fucking business you clown.” He growled out an answer and he heard the other man laughing amused since this was what the blond said every workday when he asked him how he was doing.

 

The blond security guard ordered a whiskey from the bar, his eyes staring straight forward at some bottles on a skewed shelve. There was silence for a moment and he could just hear the trashy background music and the chatter and giggling of the whores behind himself until his colleague started to speak without Rex asking. He told him that he had not slept too well during the night, that his other daughter had found a stray cat that was grey and had blue eyes and that she had called Mister Sassles and that Mister Sassles had put a dead mouse into Peter’s house slippers that they lived in a 50 m² place with five people, that he had to take his third job and a lot of things that Hutson didn’t care about, had not asked and didn’t want to know. This place was fucked up enough without having to listen to unimportant, insignificant horseshit from his colleague’s depressing life and he didn’t care to listen, so he didn’t. His own life was pathetic enough as it was.

 

Pouring on his whisky he just stared into a void and Peter’s voice turned into something that reminded of the rush of the sea and after a while Rex was imagining the ocean, almost seeing it in front of him instead of the old shelve with the bottles of liquor on it. This peace only lasted so long though. When the door went open he was instantly aware of his surroundings again and turned his head with the slick back blond hair around to the door and then to the whore he was getting paid for to protect. He despised them and all they represented, yes, he did but this was his job, he was getting paid for it by that old boot and he was a man of honour, he had integrity and since this was his job now, what was in itself an insult to his pride, intelligence and former profession, he did it efficiently and reliably.

 

The eyes behind his sunglasses met with that one whore again and he screwed up his nose before he turned his head back to the door expecting a client to enter but getting Carlo instead. Carlo was the third security guard and Carlo never went into the changing room first but straight into the bar. “”Hello sweeties!” he said with open arms smiling at the whore before he rushed over to the bar, greeted Rex and Peter, Rex growled in return, Peter smiled at him raising his glass, ordered his drink, took it right away and then ran over to the male whores again, placing himself right in between them, flirting with them, complimenting them, giving them kisses onto their cheeks. “If that pervert wouldn’t work here he’d probably be a client.” Rex barked to himself before he threw down the rest of his whisky, Peter laughed. “I don’t think so. It just appears to me that he wants to have a good time while working and likes to make the night a bit brighter for the guys too.” The brunette man found and Hutson raised his eyebrow hissing “I didn’t ask your opinion, did I!”

[♠[Rin]♠]

Daniel Sutton

 

 

Alias: Danny.

Age: 36.

Height: 1,76 CM.

Hair colour: brunette.

Eye colour: emerald green.

Occuptaion: prostitute.

Former occupation: singer and songwriter.

Sexual orientation: homosexual.

 

_________________________________________________________

 

Festive ballrooms, luxurious hotel chambers, heavenly soft beds, hefty music, golden jewlery, silver cars. Those were all things he had once safely had in his grip. Money hadn‘t been a problem becaue it flowed in decently due to his talent. Long ago, he had been a singer, a songwriter too, a star! Hell, he had shaken hands with Aviici and Johnny Depp before the tragic suicide and Depp‘s fall into alcohol. Honestly, Daniel himself hadn‘t had problems with drugs or the like, but he had been young and stupid. Okay, 24 didn‘t sound so young for a singer, but hell, he had never known how to handle money. Most of his acquaintances had stopped caring after he had fallen deep into his cash trap - which he had set up himself. All those fine restaurans and the immensly expesnive apartment he had lived in had dragged him down to a point where couldn‘t recognize the faces of the people standing above, looking down to him, anymore. And if that hadn‘t been enough, he had been quite the kind person, too. One gift after another for a lover, one charity after another. Additionally, he had been quite the jerk to many people at the same time. It was no wonder nobody wanted to have to do with him anymore, especially his parents.

 

Hell had tightened its embrace around him quicker than he could have even blinked.

 

A life full of brightness, full of shining stars, had turned grey. Colourless. Dark. Daniel had had nothing left, neither had he gone to college, so there had been only one thing left that he could sold: His body.

It was a shithole of a brothel. It was a literal shithole. Nobody cared, nobody had the nerve to care. Money ruled this part of the world. It was a miracle that this city was even still somewhat alive. People were driving themselves into extinction even without god-like help.

 

The night had already dropped its dark veil onto the city. The moment Daniel‘s alarm went off, he knew it was time not to lay around anymore. Really, this was about money, this was about existing. About living. He had a bed to sleep in, a cover from rain and cold and could pay for food. There was nothing appealing in selling yourself to perverts, however Daniel had always understood the idea of prostitutes. It was proven - even statistically - that after brothels had been invented properly, the number of rapes had lowered. In this district it was hard to tell whether or not that had any effect, though. It was dirty and bitter, almost a completely other world. Day and night didn‘t differ, blood of the innocent and guilty would always decorate the streets and colour the edges of kerbstones.

 

Daniel was quick to get ready. The plan for tonight was tight. It was a mystery to him how this brothel was still going half-way well while people on the other side of the front door were dying.

The brunette slipped on an old black cardigan, which appeared a little too big, reaching down to his butt. It was a little ripped at some places and even re-sewn but it did well at covering a little of his skin in the revealing outfit of a simple croptop and leather shorts. Really, what use was it to put on more clothes? They might get ripped and he wouldn‘t be wearing anything for the whole night anyway, given the busy schedule. The boss cared little for hygiene and looks, because $100 were $100 and a hole was a hole.

 

Haha, fuck this.

 

Simple grey converse helped to prevent Daniel from getting herpes just by stepping onto the floor on the corridor as he left his room. Honestly, there were like five different sexually transmitted diseases per square centimeter on this shit ass old floor.

With his hands in the cardigan‘s baggy pockets, the brunette made his way downstairs to the big room where the magic happened. The bar with the sexy barkeeper was already ready and he could see most of his collegues sitting and standing around near the dance poles. He sent a smile at the barkeeper and then walked over to the other prostitues, who also greeted him friendily. They were … well, they were what they were, really. A little bit sex-deprived, a little bit more dumb, but he couldn‘t blame them. It was probably easier to just be what you chose to become when it meant giving up your dignity and pride as a man and human being.

 

„Slept well? If not, I can help you with that!,“ Chen said, a rather loud type. He was always cheerful and helpful, but getting on his bad side was hell because he was too stupid to be able to understand other people‘s feelings without you needing to tell him.

„What an honour,“ Daniel grinned in response without giving a direct answer of Yes or No.

„What! I thought I was your first choice!“ someone else gasped at Chen. It was Tommy, one of the elder ones. He was quite tall and not one of the most handsome men Daniel had seen in his life.

„Oh, there is always a way~!“ Daniel smirked, laying an arm tightly around Chen‘s shoulders.

He remained with his collegues a little longer and listened to them talk until the sound of the doors opening and falling close attracted his attention. The brunette was leaning against one of the dancing poles, arms crossed, emerald eyes scanning the entrance area. A sparkle freshened his gaze. It was that grumpy security guard. He was kinda on Daniel‘s list. Really, while he had no problem with his collegues, William was a completely different leguae. He was a proud man, a trained towser and also a killjoy.

A grin formed on Daniel‘s lip.

William was perfect. He had always had a thing for unapproachable people and at first it had just been the imagination of togetherness, because let‘s be real, this shithole was fucking lonely. However, as some time had passed and he had watched Brix, something occured to him. The blonde could not possibly be here because he needed a job to feed a child. He didn‘t wear a ring either. He didn‘t talk like someone from the lands, he didn‘t walk like a farmer and he didn‘t appear to be dumb as shit.

It was something else. Something really tragic. What could possibly happen to a person so they would barricade themselves up in a place full of dead hope, misery and death?

 

William didn‘t even look at him, he instantly walked over to the bar, tried to ignore the whole world and ordered a whiskey. It didn‘t take long until Carlo walked in as well with the last of Daniel‘s collegues. As usual, he walked up to the group of prostitutes and welcomed them heartily. Daniel smiled at him cutely and hugged his arm in a playful manner. „Welcome!“ Though, as he did that, his gaze also moved back towards Brix. It was tempting to just go over there and…

 

Yeah, why not.

 

Daniel let go of Carlo, who stayed with the group and flirted a little with the other prostitutues. The brunette on the other hand pulled the sleeves of his old cardigan down to his fingers and went over to the bar. His walk was confident and elegant, maybe a little arrogant. And of course, he chose his seat right next to William, and as he climbed onto the high chair, the height difference once again hit him like a fist in the face. How could a man just be this big? That was highly unfair, yet kind of appealing.

 

„Hey~ Grumpy at the start already, Will?“ Daniel purred, leaning to the side. Arms crossed on the bar counter, he grinned up towards the guard. A grin similar to Alice‘s cheshire cat‘s smile.

 

 

 

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[-Hideki-]

Having hissed at Peter didn’t seem to ruin the other man’s mood in the slightest, he was used to Rex whom he only knew under the name of William being like this after all and he didn’t take any of his remarks personally. But had one thought Rex’s mood couldn’t get any worse one had been mistaken. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see that slender whore with the messy light brown hair walking into his direction and the way he carried himself already rubbed Hutson the wrong way.

 

It was one thing to be scum, to be literal human garbage and it was another thing to be proud of oneself for it! This bloody whore seemed to enjoy what he did, not only that he walked with confidence, as if he was something special while he had willingly sold his dignity and should be utterly disgusted by himself when he looked into the mirror. He shouldn’t wear that kind of smug smile on his dumb face that made the former military man sick to his stomach.

 

Rex ordered another whisky and right in the moment the glass was placed before his eyes the prostitute let himself fall onto the seat right next to him. He could even smell him and his cheap perfume, gross. His nose curled up and his face showed how reprehensible he found the human being next to him and the blond man looked as if he wanted to spit into the other man’s face. Grabbing the glass of whisky he took a huge gulp of the drink and the covered eyes quickly gazed over to the green eyed whore who was grinning at him as if he had won the lottery, as if he had some kind of master plan right now even though Hutson knew he was just going to annoy him again and that apparently was enough to give that lowlife some weird kind of satisfaction.

 

This man was like a maggot eating itself through a putrescent body! A parasite! A fly on a pile of stinking shit! And he wished he had insecticide, simple bug spray, or at least a flyswatter. The security guard imagine the face of the whore on a giant, ugly fly and how he’d smash it dead and it’d fall down onto the sticky, gross floor. A nice thought! Really nice! He liked it!

 

Sometimes he wished he could just bring order and morale into that whole district. Do something useful again. He had even had the quick idea to install a paramilitary group to take care of what the police couldn’t do anymore. But that was only an idea and he had probably been drunk when he had had it. Then again, he was drunk often nowadays. One thing was for sure though, he’d not rot in that district. He had to get out of there. This was not his final destination. It couldn’t be and he’d not accept this.

 

Rex had thought about joining the police, getting a high-rank and under his command the police force would not be that soft to those thugs and the criminal scum anymore that was for sure. They’d gain back control over this district in no time! He had led more difficult operations into success, he could deal with this scum. But this thought was more like a daydream. If he’d join the police force he’d have to start from zero and he was already forty-one. He was a middle aged man and he’d not reach as high in rank as fast enough. Not only that, he’d risk that someone would check his identity too and he was not ‘William Brix’ although he had a really well forged fake ID that swore he was. There were a lot of obstacles to overcome for him that much was for sure but he’d do something, anything, maybe the paramilitary group wasn’t that bad of an idea. He’d only need men and money and enough weapons and it was pretty much illegal too … urgh… fuck it!

 

The first job Rex had had after he had come to this city and after having laid inside of the small rundown apartment he had rented in a depressive state for months had been being a patrol assistant. However he had been the worst patrol assistant someone could be. Not that he couldn’t fill patrol into a tank, that he did with ease and he knew a lot about cars and mechanics too, but he had not been exactly social and absolutely not friendly either. But he had done his job and he had had not problem taking the nightshift so the boss had not minded his scary attitude and unfriendliness! However one day some thug had tried to steal some chocolate bars and Rex had gotten aware of that, when the thieve had noticed he had started to run but the former military man had been faster and he had thrown him down onto the ground and had punched him senseless before he had called the police to “imprison the criminal filth”.

 

When the police had arrived they had been rather astonished at the scene and Rex had pointed at the chocolate bars the guy had in his pockets and had explained his perception of the story while the guy who had come to his sense again had accused the patrol assistant for the violence used against him. The policemen had sided with the blond and had arrested the criminal but his job the security guard had lost. He had gotten a new one though because a client who had been an owner of a night club had seen how he had fought the thug down with ease and had hired him as a security guard and door keeper for his club.

 

He had done that job for quite a while but the club had soon started to disgust him because of the drug use and public sex going on in there and when the son of the owner who had dealt with the drugs had made the mistake to try and get Rex into his system the blond had made an anonymous call to the police, had given all the names he had gotten to know and soon after they had cracked down the club, had arrested many people, confiscated a lot of drugs and had closed the club down completely leaving Hutson without a job. And then he had somehow gotten into the filth he worked in now. The blond didn’t regret it though. He’d call the police again and should he ever see a single drug dealer or see someone consume illegal substances he’d call the police on this work place too.

 

The whore spoke. Spoke to him. Calling him grumpy. How original. Rex rolled his eyes not looking at the person next to him, this didn’t deserve acknowledgement. Instead he turned to Peter. “Didn’t you say you wanted to give me something for my birthday last month…” - Peter had found out William Brix’s fake birthday from the book the boss kept the data of the staff in – “… I have an idea now. I want some insecticide as a belated birthday present.” The blond growled and the brunette raised his eyebrows. “Do you have issues with parasites in your apartment? When Sally brought Mister Sassles, Mister Sassles brought fleas and we had to take care of the apartment. That’s why I know something that works pretty well.” he suggested his mind not really following along the meanness of the other man because he was just an overall nice dude.

 

Rex wanted to smash his head onto the counter in defeat but his face stayed motionless. “No. My apartment is good. This place is full of parasites though. One placed itself right next to me now.” he said and the brunette looked at him for a moment and then he got it. “My, that’s just awful.” He found looking as if something distasteful was around the other security guard’s mouth and Rex sighed annoyed. “Cry me a river.” He snorted and gulped down the rest of the whisky then he turned his face around to Daniel, the whore, why did he even remember that stupid name, and watched him up and down. “Look at him! Look at that pathetic excuse for a person. I don’t want to know how many moths are living in his clothes, dirt always draws more dirt to it. He probably is a seat of sexually transmitted diseases as well.” the blond shook his head.

 

And Peter sighed and laid his hand onto Daniel’s wrist. “Don’t listen to this. He’s always grumpy but today he is just especially awful. Something is clearly wrong. Maybe something bad happened to him today, he doesn’t mean it.” The brunette said apologetically for his colleagues insults. “Shut up!” he barked but Peter had come quite close to the truth although not completely and Rex’s mouth was twitching shortly, a hint of a strained, almost pained expression hushing over his strong jaw.

 

The tall man was getting up from his seat and he angrily chewed his thin bottom lip. “Where are you going William?” Peter wanted to know. “Smoking.” Rex said. “You don’t smoke.” The brunette was confused and even if so no one in that place went outside for that. “Then: None of your fucking business!” he growled instead and walked towards the door. “You are very stressed and tense, probably have bottled up a lot of anger and stuff. I know it sounds silly but my daughter has wanted this Tai-Chi DvD for Christmas last year and I tried it once with her and it’s really working. I always do that when I am too overworked and stressed. You should give it a go buddy.” He called after the blond and Carlo was chuckling as he heard that. “Screw you, I’m not doing something as dumb, I’m not a fucking hippy you idiot!” Rex shouted and peered over to Carlo who stopped laughing immediately but started again right away when Rex was out of the door.

 

He needed fresh air but he was reminded that there was absolutely none in that district and one stench was swapped against the even worse stench but still, at least the wind was brushing into his face. He leaned his broad shoulders onto the clinker building and stared at the filthy street with the braking marks and torn tarmac. “Fuck!” he yelled and punched his hand against the wall of the building when a man crossed the streets and walked towards the brothel’s door. This man came there often and Rex had seen him quite some times and the blond also had broken his arm once because he had not wanted to leave when the time he had paid for had been over and had not stopped grabbing that whore. He was worse than the whores. He wasn’t even an insect, he was literal shit. The man stopped and was apparently thinking where he could go now when he saw Rex in front of the door of the bordello but he was already in front of the door and Rex was looking at him and he started to sweat badly! “What? Piece of shit! You want to go inside now or not?” the blond hissed and spat in front of his feet. “Uhhh…” the man stuttered. “Go inside or be on your fucking way!“ he screamed at him and the man hushed into the building fondling his collar.

 

When the unpleasant guy whose face made the blond feel like ramming his fist inside had disappeared through the door he followed. This guy had made trouble once already; hence he’d not take his eyes from him, not for a second!

[♠[Rin]♠]

 

At first it didn‘t look like William was going to answer him. Daniel didn‘t really put any high expectations in conversations with the blonde, but to his surprise, he at least talked ABOUT him with Peter, who didn‘t quite get it. In his defense, William appeared to often be alone with his thoughts and he never shared them either.

Daniel narrowed his eyebrows slightly at the insult. An insect? How distasteful and tactless. Then again, Brix didn‘t look like someone who cared about appropriateness. Just hearing the tone in his voice was enough to make a safe assumption as to how bitter he was. Maybe it was a personality trait, but Daniel doubted that someone could be born this way. Incidents, events, accidents always changed a person‘s point of view and opinion about specific things. Sure, his life might have been miserable and unfair, but that wasn‘t an excuse to be an utter asshole to everyone.

 

Daniel parted his lips to reply, but he could feel Peter‘s hand on his wrist, who talked to him instead. Instantly, however, he pulled it back out of the guard‘s grip. Yeah, Peter was a nice guy, but hell, he wasn‘t a damn pet that you could just touch out of nowhere. Though, he chose not to say that into the man‘s face, given that he genuinly just wanted to help. So, whatever.

 

The moment William left the room, Daniel sat at the counter for another moment. The way the blonde had reacted to what Peter had said was strange. A ‚shut up‘ instead of a growl? Was there really something wrong, especially today? He had to admit, William was being especially disgusting to everyone already today, but was it beause of an incident or was his bitterniss growing inside him? As far as Daniel knew, the guard didn‘t have a girlfriend either - or a boyfriend, he wasn‘t going to judge, really - and considering how he rejected his collegues as well, there was a chance that loneliness might be a factor too. And there was also the possibility that he didn‘t want anyone around because he had once been left behind.

 

The laughters of the others merged into an indescribable, low sound, while the brunette sank further into his thoughts about what could have possibly gone wrong in a trained, intelligent and pride man‘s life. It wasn‘t a matter of pity or sympathy, but curiosity. Daniel had always been nosy and there was nothing more exciting than sharing secrets. Though, since he had lost all his friends at the early age of 28, he had mostly forgotten what it felt like to be around someone you trusted and liked. He appreciated such a deep connection only after losing it, a clishé. His entire career had been a clishé, too.

 

„Developin‘ a crush?“

 

The barkeeper‘s voice dragged Daniel back to reality. The laughing had already stopped and Carlo was back to talking with the prostitues normally. Peter had apparently said something to him as well, because he could see him chuckle and hear him say „That was a fun time“, before lifting his drink and taking a nip.

Daniel looked up to the shirtless barkeeper, who leaned down to him, jokingly whispering, „That guy is no good for you,“ with a smile. Daniel couldn‘t help but chuckle at the miserable attempt to lighten the mood.

„Playing the headshrinker-barkeeper, hm?“

„Just doing my job.“

„That‘s true.“ The corners of the brunette‘s mouth twitched upwards in appreciation, but his gaze soon found its way back to the door. He exhaled through his nose in a thoughtful manner, swinging his legs on the high chair slightly. He could feel a pair of eyes on him, may it be the barkeeper or peter, but he didn‘t respond. Instead, he slid off the chair and walked to the door, which he pulled open and walked through. The small corridor in between the brothel‘s main room and the entrance was filled with coldness and gave off an uncomfortable feeling, aside from the stench. A goose flesh crawled up Daniel‘s legs and arms and he re-adjusted the thin cardigan, crossing the buttonless opening sides over his upper body and folding his arms over his chest to have it stay and save some warmth. It was nighttime, after all, but when he thought about it, this district never experienced comfortable heat or sunshine. Summer was only a word in a calender.

 

Daniel silently moved to the side, into the shadows of a wall near the entrance, as he noticed William‘s silhouette outside. He appeared to be staring at nothing in particular, just looking down the street, when out of nowhere, the blonde suddenly let out a loud curse and rammed his fist into the outer wall. The prostitute couldn‘t help but blink in fascination upon witnessing such an outburst. He himself wasn‘t an impatient or aggressive person, so it was strangely appealing to watch someone who was the exact oppsoite. And to top it off, a customer had seen him. He couldn‘t blame the person for being a little bit afraid when William growled at him, but the moment the man entered the brothel, Daniel recognized him as the one whose arm had been broken by the same security guard just a few months ago.

Only one second later, William entered as well. Emerald shining eyes watched the trained blonde walk with impressive weight in his steps. If Daniel had to guess, then he would say that William had once worked for the police, however, if that was the case, then he would have had chances in the local police station, unless he had done something unforgiving. Same went for military, which was his second guess. That William had already worked as a security guard in the past didn‘t sound right, because he really didn‘t behave like one social-wise and respect-wise, nor did he like this job at all. So, police or military it was, plus a severe misdemeanor. Of course, he could have been a wrestler once too, but since Daniel had been quite informed about famous and once-famous people during his own career, he doubted that he had seen or heard about William in his life before. It was possible that he had changed his identity to flee completely from his old life. Daniel himself had thought about doing that, but honestly, he had already gone to a third-world like district and nobody cared for his last name anyway. He was thirty six now, his career had ended roughly eight years ago. Nobody remembered failed stars, just like nobody of the new generation knew of Jessica Simpson and Banaroo now.

 

Daniel‘s wary glimpse watched the customer walk by quickly, still a little shocked and fearful. Then his eyes met the blonde again, now that William had stepped in front of him on his way to follow the client. The weak light of the ceiling lamp constructed abstract shadows on William‘s face and made him look even angrier, almost like a lion. To be fair, he did resemble a big wildcat sometimes.

 

 

[-Hideki-]

When he was about to enter the building again his blue eyes had noticed a person pressed against the wall near the entrance in the shadows and it had made him turn an inspecting, securing gaze to the side to identify the subject. The subject was not unknown. There was he, that whore in that ridiculous cardigan and his eyebrows narrowed deeply, his nose screwing up when he saw his face. That little rat had apparently followed him. Sneaked after him to observe him from the corner! To spy on him. To figure out something to use against him! It made anger boil in his guts and his blue eyes looked at the other like sharp daggers that were penetrating his body. “Filthy little stalker.” He hissed. “Pathetic!” Rex added, disappeared through the door that he slammed shut without even looking if the whore might follow.

 

Banning the prostitute with the light brown hair whose face he often thought looked familiar somehow - but he had yet to remember from where - from his mind he focussed on the costumer his blue eyes clinging on the man’s back and his balding head as a dog that had rammed its fangs into someone’s arm. The man didn’t sit down at the bar or at one of the sofas. He went straight to the whores, murmured something and grabbed Chen’s wrist roughly pulling him away from Carlo dragging the barely clothed younger man behind himself. Chen was one of the whores who actually were attractive! He was definitely good looking, in a way he was both pretty and handsome at the same time. It was odd really and Rex had been particularly angry about him, before Daniel had started to actively annoy the shit out of him for some unknown reason that was, because he had found a fucking whore pleasing to his eyes. However in this moment Chen didn’t seem to be happy about being attractive because the man was visibly uncomfortable and there was fear in his dark eyes and he turned around to Hutson with a pleading look in his eyes when he was stumbling up the stairs because the man was blindly pulling him along.

 

The look was unnecessary because the security guard was already following. The stairs cracked with every step he made and the family of rats that lived under the old wooden planks squeaked. The carpet that had once been red was now basically brownish, blackish, ripped and partially burned and the frames with pictures that had been torn out of a Kama Sutra book were covered by spider webs. When the client opened the door to the room Chen usually ‘worked’ in the old wooden door was creaking loudly and the man wanted to slam the door shut right away in front of Rex’s face but steel capped black boots were keeping it open. The client tried to get his food out of the door unsuccessfully and Rex ripped the door open again, seeing a room with shady red lightning and untidy, leo-printed bed sheets. There was one chair and a bedside table next to the bed but instead of a lamp there was a bowl filled with condoms and a bottle of lube placed on it and although no one had had fucked in there during the day and the windows had been opened the smell of sex never seemed to leave that room anymore.

 

“What do you think you’re doing! Shut the damn door.” the man yelled at Hutson completely forgetting that he was scared of him out of sheer frustration and irritation. “The door stays open.” Rex’s bass voice echoed back from the walls. “Are you nuts!? I want my privacy. And I don’t want you to look at….” The man’s complaint was cut when the security guard slammed his hand against the wall. “Either you stick your pathetic tiny dick into that whore with the door opened or you’re going home without fucking anything and I will keep your money because I had to waste my time talking to you.” The blond said and the man turned around unhappily, cursed and let his anger out on Chen whom he pushed onto the stained old mattress inconsiderately.

 

Hutson stepped out of the door and leaned himself onto the wall right next to the opened door, hearing everything that was going on inside the room. It was grossing him out really, that old perverted piece of garbage, the whimpering, pathetic noises he made, the wheezing while he was fucking Chen whom was quiet, completely quiet. Not a single noise. He couldn’t even hear the whore move. “Disgusting.” He mumbled hissing to himself while he was standing there staring at a dusty, covered in spider webs Karma Sutra page in an old frame on the opposite wall that was completely unlike anything that was going on inside the room.

 

This man was reprehensible, he was scum and the blond man was feeling just how much he loathed him. How primitive, how undignified, how dishonourable! He failed to understand lowlifes like those and there probably was no rational understanding them because they were too dumb to actually think and completely ruled by instinct like a lowly developed animal. People like this man who was climbing this handsome whore now were probably a few evolutionary levels beneath him, their brains were probably less evolved or how was this to be explained. That people enjoyed this. Enjoyed paying money to someone to unload in them, to use them as a cum-dumpster while the person was completely grossed out and praying for it to end? How? How was this satisfying? No man with self-dignity and a decent amount of self-worth would do that.

 

Granted Rex already failed to see the meaning and the satisfaction in one night stands and anonymous sex. The blond man couldn’t be bothered to have sex with someone unless he had a bond with that person. A strong bond! Intellectually, emotionally, personally! Then he could feel passion, desire, want and lust and loved to have sex, found it satisfying otherwise he didn’t see the point though. After his dishonourable discharge and months of dealing with depression he had tried hook-ups, had tried to alleviate his stress, his frustration, his anger, and had tried to let it out by having sex. The former major general had for the first time in his life set a foot into a gay club or any club for that matter. He had settled down at the bar, had examined the guys, had picked out a prey and had without further ado gone up to him and had made his intentions clear. The man who had been toned and handsome and attractive looking had agreed and had followed Rex home but when they had been at it the former military man had not gotten it up. His cock had stayed flaccid and the man had not really managed to arouse him no matter what he had tried. He had stroked him, sucked him, rubbed Hutson’s dick between his arse cheeks but his dick had basically rejected him. “Are you sure you’re gay?” the guy had asked and the blond had just told him to piss off even more frustrated than before only to see his cock stand proudly when he had jerked off.

 

The second time he had tried it he had gotten hard, he had maintained his boner too and he had had sex with that stranger but then it had felt incredibly dissatisfying to him. So much so that he had gotten furious while doing it and had let his aggression out on that man, treating him like literal rubbish, not considering him, ravaging his arse until it bled but after he had filled up his hole he had still been in rage and he had felt empty and everything had seemed senseless to him and the man who had turned out to be a total masochist looking at him as if he had found a treasure telling him how great it had been and that they had to do it again had only made him more angry. And Rex yelling at him, calling him a disgusting, pathetic idiot and a bad excuse for a man and that that had been the worst sex he had ever had while shoving him out of his door throwing his clothes behind him had turned the guy own completely all over again and he had shouted through the door that he was hard again and that they had to repeat it and he could even stomp on him or beat him next time, while the bloke had totally been wanking in front of his closed apartment door.

 

He had given up after that because this whole hook-up thing just didn’t work for him. He had not liked it. It had given him nothing and had made everything even worse. It had been so brainless and dull. So he took care of his needs but not really thrilled about it either. More like an annoying task that he just had to do to keep functioning and to not go mental. Sometimes he even felt bad afterwards when he was stroking himself on the sofa staring at that picture in the frame with a lump building in his throat, his tall, muscular body cramping and curling up on the sofa after ejaculating his eyes at that picture while he was freezing internally because he was aching and grieving and missing.

 

Suddenly he heard screams out of the room. “Move! Damn it! You stupid whore why don’t you move! Look at me!” the man was yelling and Rex could hear a fist coming down into a face, then he heard bodies wrestling and Chen screaming before his mouth was pressed close. Hutson moved immediately storming the room pulling the naked man down from the choking whore whose dick was as soft as can be with the black eye and blood running down from his eyebrow. Rex’s face was torn and his eyes cold and filled with disgust. “Let go!” the man protested. “I’ve paid and I want that fucking whore to move and not lay there like a piece of lifeless wood.” He justified himself and it had the opposite effect. The security guards strong hand closed around the man’s throat as he pinned him against the wall with the green wallpaper from the 50ies. “Listen you piece of trash, there are only few rules here one of which states clearly ‘No violence against the whores’ and you are too dumb and too low to even respect such a simple set of rules.” He hissed. “You are the most pathetic, disgusting shit I’ve ever seen. You are less worth than a pile of shit actually. You disgust me. Something like you is not a man.” Rex stated and dragged the other out of the room grabbed by his neck like a disobedient dog.

 

“Frederick II of Prussia once said:’With each punch against a weaker enemy one dishonours oneself’ and you just punched that whore, someone without any power, physically weaker than many women are, feeling so strong didn’t you. While you start to whimper in fear when you even see me! But you can’t dishonour yourself because you’ve never had any honour.” Hutson barked his blue eyes staring straight forward as he dragged the naked man down the stairs. “What are you even talking about! You are crazy! You are fucking crazy!” the man yelled at Rex and the former military man just laughed. “I’m talking about Prussian kings and honour two subjects scum like you have never even heard anything about I suppose.” The blond stated as he arrived down at the bar pulling the naked costumer through it and towards the door. All eyes were on them, the eyes of the newly arrived clients as well as the eyes of the staff.

 

As the man realised what the security guard was about to do he started to panic even more. “My clothes! My clothes are up there. You can’t. I need my clothing!” he protested and struggled against the grip but no chance. “You should have thought about that before you have broken the rules. Breaking the rules has consequences and leads to sanctions. If one decides to break a rule the reason and purpose should better be worth the punishment.” Hutson opened the door and threw the man out and down the few stairs that led to the door. “You hereby are banned from his house for an unlimited time.” The blond growled after him before he slammed the door close, holding it closed when the man had stood up and was trying to get back inside to get his clothing. Some whores and costumers watching intently! Just when the man had surrendered and was running away trying to cover his body did Rex let go of the door and went back over to the bar but he didn’t arrive there because he felt arms wrapping around him from behind and it gave him the chills.

 

Chen had come back down with his wracked face and was clinging onto him. “Thank you!” he said and Rex’s eyes behind his sunglasses widened. “It’s my job.” He said coldly wanting the other to not thank him and let go of him. “Thank you.” The black haired man repeated laying his head onto his back and the blond’s hand formed a fist. “I’ve said it’s my job alright. You’re welcome and now let go of me stupid whore.” He barked but his cheeks were slightly heating up and the prostitute was letting go of him, smiling up at him after he had heard him say or rather yell ‘You’re welcome’ before going over to the other whores asking one to help him treat the wounds on his face.

Rex let himself sink onto a seat at the bar, shaking his head before he ordered another whisky. The third already!

[♠[Rin]♠]

Their eyes met. Instantly, almost reflexively, Daniel‘s lips

curved into a mischievous smile. The sparkle in his eyes resembled the shine of a cat ready to jump at a prey. More or less, William had become his prey just a while ago. When first meeting him, the brunette had been annoyed by the blonde‘s constant nagging and bitching around, but after some time passed, he had indeed noticed that Brix differed from everyone else here. And since Daniel had given up his dreams long ago anyway, why not play around a little?

William went on at insulting him. He seemed angry from the inside, yeah pretty much.

„How original,“ Daniel chuckled with a shake of his head.

Without an answer, William stormed back into the main room of the brothel, gaze fixated on the client. Emerald orbs watched the door swung close behind him almost as angrily as he was. William might find this hellhole ugly, but honestly, with his attitude he fit quite well in here.

Daniel‘s smile faded and he uncrossed his arms, pushing himself off the wall. He advanced forward to the entrance, into the coldness of the night, though with one foot safe in the brothel. If you didn‘t stay here, you‘d get raped or killed on your way in the streets somewhere. That was a fact and he had read and heard about countless of such cases.

The air here wasn‘t fresh and the sky wasn‘t full of brightly shining stars. It stunk, clouds hid the fair moonlight and the darkness had swallowed most of the street in the distance. The streetlights were only flickering, fighting for sending light to those who sought a little bit of brightness amidst their despair. Now, despair was something that had already left Daniel‘s heart. With no ambitions and goals, desperation and depression meant little. This was what he had come to.

 

With the night came the clients. Now that one had already arrived, others were soon to show up, and speaking of the devil, Daniel could make out a silhoutte smoothly walking along the pavement. The faint glint of a cigarette gave his presence away, as the man took a lavish pull. The shimmer of orange lit up and increased for a second, before it died. The man easily dropped the fag end onto the dirty asphalt and didn‘t even bother to stomp on it. As he stepped further into the light of a streetlampt near the brothel, a pitchblack coat was visible, harmonizing with short raven hair, fair skin and sharp blue eyes. With one hand in the coat‘s pocket, the man then stopped mid-way and snatched a phone out of his inner chest pocket. It was in that moment that he noticed a pair of eyes on him and glanced to the eyes, only for his glimpse to meet Daniel‘s. The brunette recognized the man pretty quickly, since he had been here before. They had had an hour or two together before, too. Daniel flashed the man a smile and then turned to re-enter the brothel fully. He walked straight back into the main room, where the warmth relaxed his muscles again.

 

Daniel‘s eyes scanned the area. Chen and William were both missing. He assumed the worst and went over to his collegues. „What‘s the time?“ he asked. Sam, who had been the only one having earned enough to actually buy a half-way good watch, looked up upon hearing that question. He checked the device, of which he was quite proud, and smiled up at Daniel, responding: „Ten past ten.“

„The dancing will start in an hour then,“ someone else concluded. „My foot still hurts from last time when I slipped on a drink that someone had spilled on the dance pole floor.“

„You are quite clumsy too, though,“ his sitting neighbour said.

„Don‘t go crying to the boss, she‘ll just get pissy,“ a redhead spoke as well.

„Meanie, you! I don‘t cry!“

Daniel‘s gaze wandered up towards the dance pole. During his career, he had had a lot of dancing lessons, and he knew exactly how to use that metallic rod over there in the right way. For some nights, he would spend hours on this thing,and on others, he would be too busy. He knew that two of the other prostitutes had already agreed on dancing tonight, so he was off that business for now.

 

The noise of hasty footsteps appeared soon. The client from

before was rushing down the staircase and out of the room, William and Chen following. Though, those two stopped around mid-way. Daniel watched the little conversation William had with his collegue. It wasn‘t exactly friendly, but he could also see how uncomfortable William was and it kind of amused him. Chen soon let him go upon the security guard‘s harp words and returned to his little group. Tommy had instantly jumped onto his feet and was now taking the smaller one into his arms gently, rubbing his back and stroking his hair, telling him that he was still pretty with the beat-up look and promising that he would help him take care of the wounds.

 

Now, that wasn‘t so unusual. Sure, „no violence against the whores,“ but it wasn‘t that easy. Daniel himself had come out of some sessions with a bruise or two. The security guards really helped them out here, after all most of the prostitues lacked quite the strength after years of sexual abuse and no training whatsoever. Many of them were also quite feminine to start with and could be easily mistaken for tomboys. If he remembered right, one of the clienst had once broken Chris‘ wrist - he was the smallest one of them - just by gripping it too hard. Additionally, who knew how much they all really ate, given that a few were quite skinny. Daniel couldn‘t blame them, he often found his own apetite spoiled and rather saved a bit money for a new cardigan.

 

The glimpse of emerald hues fell once more onto William Brix. While there was still time, he might as well get on with his game for the blonde.

Daniel walked over to the bar and climbed onto the high chair next to William once more. „Back to drinking?“ were his first words as he acted quite nonchalant. He crossed his legs and leaned to the side against the security guard‘s shoulder. Given their height and weight difference, it was easy to for the brunette to smoothly snuggle up against his subject of interest. Though, his gaze didn‘t really raise, it was glued to the glas of whiskey in William‘s grip.

„You know, I am quite sure you don‘t really hate me.“ Daniel moved his hand forward and rose his index finger towards the guard‘s hand. „You are just really bitter and frustrated. Everyone would be if they aren‘t from here…“ Implying his assumption, a flirty smirk crept up onto Daniel‘s lips. It was comofortably warm to be this near to the blonde, plus it made his heart beat raise.

„Maybe you need a little distraction?“ the brunette then added. With his fingertip, he stroked over the back of William‘s hand. It was a ghostly gesture, lacking pressure and strength. Hell, if an usual seduction based on physical appearance didn‘t work, then he would try the „killing with kindness“ method. William was his and he didn‘t care for anyone else here.

 

The door to the bar opened once more and this time it was the very same man Daniel had seen just a few minutes ago on the street. He actually straightened his back and re-drew his hand from William‘s hand, the playful sparkle in his eyes now replaced by an apathic shimmer. He looked over his shoulder to the ravenhaired man, who turned his head in his direction. The moment their gazes met, Daniel put on a smile once more. „I am very sorry, but I have to go~“ he told William and slid off the tall chair. Together with the serious-looking client, who ignored both the security guards and the other prostitutes, he disappeared to the upper level. Oh well, the night was starting, and business too. But there would be countless chances to talk to and watch William later. No matter how much he liked to be around the blonde, job and money had to come first.

[-Hideki-]

The soothing burning in his throat was calming him down a little when he was taking large gulps of the whisky before he placed the glass back onto the counter and stared at the shelve again looking right through the half naked barkeeper, through everything really. It was like wall behind the bar was invisible and behind it there wasn’t that district but a stream of floating pictures and memories. A fireplace, a cosy sofa, a warm body against his, smiling lips and shining, vivid brown eyes, fancy paper on the flokati that was lying on expensive parquet, a storm, a large tree on the field, a drenched coat, soaked hair of a weird colour that wasn’t quite blond anymore but yet not brown, a smile on a freckled face all that was to see before his minds eyes and then there was the torturing, deep sting in his chest that was streaming through his whole body.

 

Rex heard a man letting himself down on the seat next to him and then he felt warmth of an present body, a more slender body, a barely clothed body against his shoulder and he knew who that was immediately and he shifted so that Daniel who had snuggled up to him was nearly falling from his seat to get distance between their bodies again. The man had his nose screwed up and he looked at the whore as if someone had just flung a pile of shit into his face. The whore was pointing out the obvious, that he was drinking. “No. I’m working on winning the Nobel Prize obviously.” He barked, taking another gulp of his drink.

 

Apparently the other man wasn’t finished annoying him yet though. He didn’t know why but this man had apparently decided that Rex was his enemy whom he had to beat, whom he had to expose, whom he wanted to humiliate, to drag down onto his level, to destroy his principles and he seemed to be willing to use all means to achieve that. And since then Hutson had been in war with this whore. It was another kind of war than he was used to fight but it was still a fight and he would certainly not let this man destroy him, no matter how much that person tried to harm him, he wouldn’t let someone like that feel the triumph of having humiliated him.

 

Suddenly he could feel a finger and then a hand on his own much larger hand and it made fury overtake his body, his muscles were constricting and his carotid sticking out. “Don’t stain me with your filth, trash!” he hissed and threw away the other man’s hand from his own. Chen touching him was one thing but this person, this person who seemed so content, even happy with this situation, who was this despicable shouldn’t dare it like that, it was pissing him off, that he even had dared to do so. There was a frown on Rex’s face and his eyes glared disapproving at the other when he was talking to him and the flirty smirk on his face made him even more loathsome in the blond man’s eyes in that moment. This person had no idea. Had no idea what intimacy meant, what actual desire was. This person was a shallow faker. As considerate and mindful as a sex puppet! And yet everyone seemed to think that Hutson was the cold one, the unfeeling one, the one who couldn’t bond with people.

 

It had always been like that. He had been called a stone, a robot, cold, unapproachable a monster even back in military school. But he was not. He could feel for people, he could love someone, much deeper than most others ever could actually. Rex just needed a reason to. And someone had given him a reason. Had been the only one to not ignore an unapproachable seeming boy who had not been sociable and had not had much facial expression going on on his face. Had taken the time to get to know him! He had even helped him to learn and to try to pronounce those foreign languages they had had to learn that the blond had always struggled with. And it had made Rex wanting to help him in return, to do something for him too, because he had just offered his help without wanting anything from him in return, without expecting Hutson to be different than he had been. So the blond had wanted to help him with math and science what he had been really good at but he had not needed that help as he had been good in those himself too. He had been good at everything. He had been perfect.

And now scum was touching him talking as if he would understand anything, as if he’d know anything about Rex but he didn’t! He knew nothing at all.

 

That he was touched again and what the other than said was the final straw. The security guard’s eyes widened behind the sunglasses and a dangerous, angry and dark expression was to see on his face. “Disgusting!” he hissed sharp like a knife looking onto the other man as if he was a maggot in his soup. “You have no dignity at all!” the man commented. “Not only that, you are even proud of having sunken that low, of having willingly thrown away your own dignity and worth. You have given yourself up, thrown yourself into the rubbish bin and are engulfing yourself in being dirt, in being lower than garbage. I wouldn’t want to touch something like you with barge pole! So stop insulting me with your ingratiation and slimy poor attempts of seduction in order to humiliate me and destroy me.” Rex growled and there was fury and loathe in his voice.

 

“You’re right about one thing though!” he granted him. “I don’t hate you!” Hutson told him. “You are not worth to be hated by me. I just despise you. I look down on you. “ he informed him with a cold voice. “To hate someone they need to pose an actual threat, they need to be taken seriously. But you are nothing to be taken seriously. You and me, we are not equal, we are not on eye level.” The former military man stated. “ And now why don’t you go and offer your worn out hole to the first other random man you see cum-dumpster!” the man spat it out and gulped down the remaining whisky in the glass ordering a new one right away.

 

And there was the first random stranger the other could offer his hole to. Some black haired guy in a black coat. Looked like some secret service agent out of a bad movie, he found and then turned his gaze off disinterested when the whore disappeared with the man to give him some ‘distraction’. It made a new flame of aggression rise in him. What did this twat thought he was? Comparing Rex Hutson, former major general to scum like this too big bat he was going upstairs with now. His hands were clenched into fists and he would have liked to burn all of this down. The whole district, set it on fire, watch it burn, disturbing the rich during their banquettes and champagne parties with the blending bright light of the all consuming flames and the smoke. Because this shit had no right to exist, no right to exist when he didn’t anymore! Why, why did people like those who had no respect for themselves or anyone else got to live while he didn’t!?

[♠[Rin]♠]

The next night was even more boring. It wasn‘t about the customers or their weird fetishes, it was more about the timeline. There were nights of full business and then a time of lack of visits would come. Since Daniel had been here for years now, he already knew that vicious circle. So, when the clock‘s hands hit midnight, it was time for something else to happen. Daniel was in his room, standing in front of the small dresser whose drawers were opened. He didn‘t take William‘s insults as gospel, but a few of his words were still bothering him. For example,the comment about his clothes. Sure, he was a prositute and wearing expensive or many clothes wouldn‘t bring anything. Comfort wasn‘t an option here. Still, he understood the idea. Don‘t get me wrong, he wasn‘t an asshole, but he probably wouldn‘t accept services from someone dressed in a linen cloth with nothing on top of it either.

Was he really developing a crush?

Heavens, please no.

Well, would it be so bad? It wasn‘t like he could expect much from anyone else in here.

His idea was to leave the brothel for a few hours with a few of the others, including Peter, and drag Will with them. Of course not officially, but it was still his job, and Peter couldn‘t possibly take care of four of the prostitues at the same time. And even if Daniel didn‘t feel like bending to someone‘s liking, he understood the idea of compromise very well. Back when he had worked as a musician, he had had to bend to his manger‘s will as well, though at last he had received free time afterwards. Oh, and cookies.

 

Daniel bit his bottom lip and dropped a pair of black jeans on the bed. A grey tanktop followed soon after. What was this? Was he really having a hard time to decide on an outfit to go ou with? He had never struggled with such a thing before.

„Hmmm…“ It shouldn‘t look too made-up, after all he didn‘t want William to know how much effort he always put in whatever he did around the blonde. That would just be embarrassing as hell.

Now, he didn‘t really own many clothes fit for going out. He had a club in mind, a small one, not pariticuarily expensive or high-class. He had been there with Chen and Tommy two years ago and it had beem quite comfortable to spend time there.

 

Daniel spent another quarter-hour in front of the dresser, until he finally chose a pair of long, grey jeans, a short-sleeved black top and a dark blue cardigan. He wasn‘t exactly muscular, so most of his clothes were slighly nerdy, given that that type of style fit his slender bodytype the best. Finishing off with his not-so-white-anymore converse, the brunette made his way downstairs to the main hall. The stench of alcohol and tabacco worsened down here and the cracking sounds of the old, wodden staircase announced his return. Emerald eyes took a swift look around. A few of his collegues were there at the dancing poles, chatting and some holding a drink in their hands. Perfect.

Daniel walked up to the small group and flashed them a smile. „Hey, I was wondering - since we aren‘t very busy for the rest of the night - if anyone of you would care to go out?“ His glimpse moved over to Tommy. „That club we visited two years ago, remember?“

„Sounds like a good idea!“ the elder prostitute said and turned to face the others. „Who‘s with us?!“

Two others lifted their hands like children on a class trip.

„Me!“

„Me too!“

„I‘ll pass,“ Chen smiled shyly and lifted his hands defensively. It was understandable, after all he still didn‘t look so well after yesterday‘s beat-up.

„Wonderful, just a moment,“ Daniel said and rose a hand to gesture for them to wait a minute. His gaze moved over to the bar, where he spotted Peter, and didn‘t hesitate to walk over. „Hey, do you have a minute?“ he asked politely. „A few others and I would like to go to the Sennen Club three blocks away. Care to join us?“ He was the perfect choice, seeing as he wanted to be friends with William too. He might even try to coinvince the blonde right away to go with them.

[-Hideki-]

The remaining working hours that night had gone by without any unusual occurrences. Daniel had been more than busy hence hadn’t gotten a chance of annoying Rex again and most of the clients actually had played by the rules with only a few minor incidents where he had to take action. As soon as the last client had left and duty had ended Rex had without a word hung the bomber jacket back into the locker room and had left the place immediately. Dawn greeted him outside and midnight had long gone the streets now in the early morning even more empty than during the night. No breaking glass, no shootings, no street races, just emptiness and the cool breeze of the morning. Usually this was the time of the day that he liked best due to that very fact but now his heart was clenching and it felt hard to breathe. Midnight was gone, that day was there. That day that had been special to him once.

 

Having arrived at the apartment building the blond man stepped inside and the floor smelled like a public toilet. This morning some douche had even thrown up into the corner where some of the mothers always placed their buggies. Sometimes he felt sorry for those children because they had never had a chance to become anything but garbage when they grew up in this shithole and with such parents. Parents like theirs shouldn’t reproduce but they did, more than anyone else it seemed. They probably didn’t understand the concept of contraception as it was too complicated for them or something. The elevator was broken and Hutson had to walk into the seventh floor. He passed apartments with kicked in doors, some where the smell of weed was making its way into the staircase, one where loud techno music was assaulting his ears, crying babies, a couple shouting at each other at such an ungodly hour throwing object against the walls and each other, one that smelled like a zoo and where various animals were to hear, sobbing out of another apartment, someone who definitely was a drug dealer sneaking out of another, barely clothed chicks smoking in front of yet another one and then he arrived on floor seven.

 

It was not only babies crying that came out of that apartment. Children were jumping on the ground, the TV was incredibly loud, music was played, stuff moved loudly, a group of adults of the family were either angrily or just passionately talking to each other, Rex had no clue because he had no idea what they were saying, a sharp smell coming out of it and then the blond man stumbled over the fucking shoes that they were piling in front of their door or rather across the whole floor. “Fuck this shit!” he barked kicking the shoes against the wall violently and he felt the anger boiling in him. Granted, since then he was constantly feeling that rage deep inside but this made it explode and pushed it forward. How many times had he not slept because of those new neighbours now? Why couldn’t they just shut the fuck up and behave like normal people? Why could no one in this fucking house behave like civilised people? All of them! Not only that one apartment smelled like the zoo, the apartment building was a bloody zoo, a mess. One kid was apparently playing ball inside of the apartment now and another one was loudly shouting and singing.

 

Hutson’s muscles constricted as he kicked his way through all the shoes hammering his fist against the door. “Shut up! You hear me! Other people need to sleep! Keep your bloody toddlers in line! This is unacceptable! I swear if I won’t be able to sleep now you’ll regret it!” he yelled aggressively whilst hammering onto the door. It had gotten silent behind it, only the TV and the music was still playing, and Rex gave the door a kick. Someone had come closer to the door. “No English. Sorry! You now go!” a woman said and the security guards face was twitching in fury. “I give you no English you twat! I know you understand me. So move your incompetent arse, turn down the volume of the TV, the music and maybe get your dumb brats ready for school. I won’t tolerate this anymore. I’ll call the police! Police! You know what that is! And if they don’t do something I will believe me!” he shouted, gave the door another kick and then kicked another shoe around. “And get those shoes away from the floor we aren’t in the fucking bush.” He yelled moving towards his own apartment but turned around again. “And learn English!” the blond screamed, unlocked the door to his apartment before he smashed it close behind himself, locking it again.

 

Rex let out a deep sigh, closed his blue eyes behind the sunglasses and leaned it against the door before punching his fists against it. The security guard went straight into the shower, washing away the dirt of the bordello and the district. Dressed in a shirt and boxers he went into the living room. His apartment wasn’t the largest and the room was stuffed with all kinds of furniture and things he had been able to put into it of his old attire. Things from the military days, personal stuff, he even had rented a garage in another district for his car and the remaining objects he had not been able to put into the apartment that was already busting. The man shoved a frozen pizza into the oven, grabbed a drink and let himself sink onto the comfortable sofa that seemed out of place in the apartment and the building and the district. Everywhere, where there was a free spot the blond man had placed pictures. Pictures that as well as the furniture and stuff were relicts of his old life. The entire apartment was like a shrine for his old life. The pictures always showed the same man as well as Rex with that man. There was only one picture that showed two women who were his sisters and one of a Weimaraner dog.

 

The man had turned on the TV, the news channel showed some documentary, but his blue eyes were staring at the picture next to the TV. It showed the man smiling widely and him laying his arm around him and kissing his cheek. Rex immediately gulped down quite some of his drink to kill off the feeling that was coming up in him. This was the birthday of the man on the photo. They always used to watch a movie after work and wait till midnight when he would turn a year older. Rex let his hand run over his face, placed the bottle onto the coffee table and went to get the pizza out of the oven, sitting back down on the sofa with it. The voice from the TV was merely background noise as he ate the pizza and drank and wished to have him back, to see him smile at him, to see his eyes shine another time but it would not happen. He wouldn’t get him back, never.

 

As he awoke the next morning on the sofa there was a slice of pizza stuck on his chin and the other remaining pieces on his chest. He growled, reached for the one on his face as he opened his eyes. He apparently had fallen asleep while eating and now there was cheese and sauce on his cheek and on his shirt. Sitting up he threw the pizza pieces back onto the plate and placed the plate onto the coffee table. His eyes fell onto the clock and after that onto one of the pictures and his heart got heavy again. On his birthday he had been used to being woken up by his boyfriend sitting on him, grinning into his face, kissing him, asking him what he had planned for him with an excited look on his face. No sofa in a shitty apartment, no alcohol on the table, no frozen pizza on his face and no loneliness that was thick enough in the room that one could cut through it with a knife. Getting up from the sofa he took the bottle on the table and gulped down some before he had even seen the bathroom.

 

After showering and shaving his first way on that day led him to the gym where he was spending hours trying to exhaust the rage within him, trying to distract himself but it was never really working. After the intense work out he had been standing in the shower room under the shower for an hour, not moving, just letting the water run over him staring at the opposite wall until some guy was looking at him with a questioning face tapping onto his shoulder. “Everything alright with you?” he asked seemingly worried that something was up with the man since to him that tall, blond, muscular guy looked like he was planning on killing himself. “Fine.” The blond just said absent minded, leaving the shower room to get dressed again.

 

Punctual like a clockwork the man appeared at his working place but even though he was punctual every other place in every other district of the city would have most certainly fired him immediately. Rex Hutson smelt like a whiskey distillery and was emitting a really dark aura, even darker than usually as he sat down at the bar in the jacket saying ‘Security’ on his back. The blond man even ignored Peter’s chattering, he didn’t make any mean comment, he didn’t make any comment at all but he also wasn’t really listening closely. Even when he had to throw out one of the few clients of that day where the business didn’t seem to go well at all because the brothel was mostly empty he had not said a word and just kicked the man out.

 

It was the first time he spoke when Chen approached him and touched his shoulder, sitting down next to him, holding a hand out. There was something on it and Rex’s blue eyes narrowed as he looked closer. It was made out of paper, was folded and looked like a bird. Confused the blond man turned his head around to the small prostitute who smiled at him with his handsome face that had gotten wracked so badly, asking himself why the man was showing him an origami duck or something. “It’s for you!” the man said. “I want to thank you.” The black haired said and Hutson grumbled. “I told you it was my job. You don’t need to thank me and you don’t need to give me this duck either. Keep it!” the man barked but Chen placed the origami in front of him. “It’s a swan and I made it for you.” He told him, got up from the chair and pressed a kiss onto Rex’s cheeks before the security guard could prevent him from doing that. The blond man felt his cheeks getting warm and a rosy colour was about to spread as his eyes had widened for a mere moment. “Splendid, now I have syphilis… and aids.” Rex commented as Chen went back to the other whores.

 

“You don’t. That’s not how you get those and I am certain you know this. You shouldn’t make such comments, I knew someone who had HIV and the people avoided to get close to him because they feared if they only ever so slightly got in contact with his skin they’d die. It made that man’s life even harder and you are reinforcing this misinformation. Even if Chen had those you couldn’t get them like this. Also not everyone with HIV has aids ….” Peter had started to scold him for one of his comments again and Rex growled. “Fuck, shut up! Your stupid political correctness and your whole goody-goody attitude make me want to throw up! I know all this shit, it was just a comment, get over it.” He yelled at Peter who was taken aback. “You don’t need to yell you know.” He pointed out when Daniel was coming back down the stairs.

 

Why did the guy even go up there? There was no costumer anyway. He threw him a gaze from the corner of his eyes and then saw the reason as the guy was wearing clothes now. Well, those shoes were dirty but all in all he looked relatively normal. He didn’t pay attention to the whore when he went to the others and talked about something with them, he however listened in when Daniel was approaching Peter telling him about the whores wanting to go to some club and asking the brunette whether he wanted to accompany them. “Sure, sounds fun.” Peter said with a smile but it was wiped away by Rex’s hand smashing onto the counter, the origami swan making a jump. “Unacceptable!” he objected loud and clearly.

 

“It doesn’t surprise me that you have no working morale either since you generally lack any sort of morale but your working hours are not over yet. And while I don’t give a shit of what some whores do, I care about my own duty and my own working morale and my job is to protect the whores of this bordello. If you leave, how am I supposed to protect the whores here? So no one is leaving anywhere until the working hours are done!” he stated and Peter sighed. “Dude, there are no clients. And if one appears what is unlikely there are still some guys left here over there with Carlo. If you take your work that seriously, just come along with us and protect the whores in the club until your shift ends and go home then.” The brunette suggested.

 

Hutson was thinking about it. He didn’t like clubs. The district stank even worse than the bordello. Why would he go when the whores had compulsory attendance during the time the brothel was opened? Not that anyone other than Rex had read all the rules and cared about them, not even the boss who had once, decades ago written the rules. Well, maybe the club wasn’t as disgusting as the bordello, he’d get to see something different and it couldn’t be much worse either way. “Agreed.” The blond grumbled, got up from his seat and quickly took the origami letting it disappear in the pocket of the jacket.

[♠[Rin]♠]

To Daniel‘s hope, Peter succeeded in convincing William to join them. He sent a smile towards the blonde and then left the two guards alone to return to his collegues, whom he informed about the allowance. The ones who had agreed to joining went upstairs to freshen up and promised to be ready in a few minutes. Folding his slender arms over his chest, his glimpse wandered to the door, and only a few seconds later he left the disco-like room. Gently, he let the door fall into its frame behind him and followed the gloomy corridor to the brothel‘s open door. He stopped right on the threshold and lifted his gaze towards the cloudy night sky. He used to see the stars shining brightly upon him whenever he walked out on his balcony a few years ago. The dark green trees used to reach up to the high level he had lived on and bow to the wind. The oxygen back then had been so refreshing and energy-delivering, however the realisation that he had long ago forgotten what it had smellt like left a bitter taste in his mouth. Much more bitter than the strongest wine did.

A sigh passed the brunette‘s lips. He leaned against the door‘s frame and tightened his crossed arms a little as a small breeze sprang up. The outfit kept him from freezing very well, as he would usually not survive full five minutes here, though on the other hand it was pretty hot inside. The air was always sticky in there too and opening a window only helped little.

 

Emerald eyes followed a black silhouette running across the street and vanishing into an alley. A second silhouette came after but collapsed halfway on the ground. His focus lay on the foggy night scenery when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He almost flinched, being pulled out of his trance-like state, played it cool however, and turned to the person behind him. It was Tommy. „Ready?“ he grinned.

„Sure, is everyone here?“ Daniel quickly checked the small group and seeing nobody was missing, they left the brothel. The streets were gloomy and the shadows moving around were highly questionable, but his collegues did a good job at lifting the mood with their warm talks about innocent topics. It was a little cold out here, though the cardigan managed to keep the warmth on Daniel‘s arms and upper body.

The club wasn‘t so far away, around ten minutes by foot. From the outside it was a run-down building whose colour was slowly peeling off and leaving pastel-yellow-ish remains. Led-letters spelled the word „Sennen“ above the dark wooden door. The club was larger in height than width, though that turned out to be a facade only: As the group entered it, the room spread into the back and to both sides fairly wide. Tabacco and strong alcohol welcomed them, however the smell was easy to deal with, easier than in the brothel, at least Daniel found it that way. A bar stretched from the left to the right side at the other end of the room with two bartenders currently talking to shady people sitting at the wodden counter. All kinds of lights were shining down from above, blinking, moving slightly, and mostly focussed on the half-full dance floor on the left. The music was mostly over there as well, though it wasn‘t screaming out of a bunch of loudspeakers, in fact one could talk fairly normally when standing in the middle or going to the right part of the club. Mentioned zone housed many tables surrounded by comfortable looking chairs. All in all the club looked sleazy but also gave off a cozy atmosphere.

 

„I‘m getting drinks! Who wants what?“ Tommy grinned and the other prostitues instantly answered with bright smiles. It was a real change to be here instead of the brothel, seeing as he hadn‘t left that cursed building in years. Breathing in this club awoke his spirits somehow, even if it was sort of stuffy in here.

„Vodka orange will do,“ Daniel told Tommy who nodded once he had received all the orders and went off to the bar. One of the bartenders was happy to take the orders within seconds.

The two other prostitues started checking out the people on the dance floor and couldn‘t help but whisper and giggle. Actually having fun and being able to choose a person to spend the night with was a privilege they and Daniel had lost the right to have long ago, so being able to do just that felt like a heavy pressure was finally lifted off their shoulders. Feeling the warmth and the tickling sensation of adventure, the unknown limits and lines, everything which was missing in their work business and nightly shifts. The best comparison he could come up with was working in a grey, tiny room all day and then finally stepping out into the fresh air, colourful scenery and sunlight. Yes, it was like that, just without the sunlight, the colours and the fresh air, but the feeling of relief and freedom was very much the same.

In the meantime, Daniel turned around to look up to Peter and William. „Where would you like to sit?“ he asked them both. His gaze wandered from the married man to the blonde nonchalantly. It was a formality to ask, given that they were here to keep an eye on him and his collegues, though all in all he was aware that the group would spread and that the club was small enough to oversee most of it from both sides.

[-Hideki-]

After they had finally been ready to go it took a ten minutes walk from the bordello to the club the whores wanted to go to. Ten minutes in which Rex was walking behind them next to Peter, the bomber jacket closed, his face blank and his mind absent. Peter’s talking had fused with the other background noises of the street and the district and the security guard was walking while his mind was apparently turned onto standby. He didn’t even care about his surroundings when they entered the club. The whores wanting to order drinks, how some of them leered at the people on the dance floor, the location itself, it all seemed to be far, far away, distant from him and his mind that was as much of an empty void as his face was in that moment.

 

Just when green eyes peered up to him and he heard the voice of this obnoxious whore Daniel who wouldn’t leave him alone did the tall male zoom in again and all senses were assaulted at once. The smell of alcohol, the trashy music, the sweat, the dry heat from the air condition, the bright coloured lights and the disco ball, the bar-keepers, the shady clients, how small and sombre the place looked. That had more of a honky-tonk pretending to be a club compared to the ones he had seen before, including the one he had been working in as a security guard. Rex had never been a clubber at all, he had found clubbing boring and dull but he couldn’t help but to notice the decay of the few clubs he had entered throughout his life in chronological order. This was the new low club wise.

 

Noting the light brown haired prostitute’s question he pointed into a small corner that was almost hidden behind a wall and positioned right next to the window saying “Over there!” at exactly the same time Peter was pointing at an arrangement of arm-chairs and sofas in the centre of the location saying the same words. “I’m not sitting there.” Rex objected and Peter sighed. “But this small table in the corner is not spacious enough for a….” he stopped himself realising that Hutson wouldn’t care about that so he tried another approach. “The spot I suggested is better to observe the club and do our job, we can have our eyes on all of our guys that way the whole time. It’s the best strategic spot to choose.” Peter argued and the blond crossed his arms in front of his broad chest. “Bullshit. The corner there is way better for it. There is nothing going on behind you and at the side so you can overlook the whole place from there.” He disagreed and Peter smiled. “That would be true if it weren’t for that other corner and that piece of wall that’s blocking your vision. That is the best spot to not been seen. But we’re not hiding, we are actually supposed to show presence.” Peter argued and Rex knew that he was right about that. But he wanted to sit where it was the least annoying, least annoying meaning least people.

 

Grumbling he looked at Peter and Daniel. “Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.” He barked. “I’m getting myself a whisky.” The blond said and went towards the bar ignoring Peter who was asking him if he really needed another whisky that day because Rex had obviously already appeared drunk at work. The brunette man sighed and looked to Daniel. “He is such a charming man, so social, a true people’s person.” He couldn’t help but to make that sarcastic remark as he was gesticulating towards the area in the centre he had chosen for them to sit and went over there.

 

When Rex had said he would buy himself a whisky he had thought about a glass himself but he had decided that he would drink more anyway and that he didn’t want to go over to the bar the whole time so he had bought himself a bottle of whisky and gotten seated on one of the sofas, leaning his back against the lean, ignoring mostly everything, just keeping his eyes on the whores from time to time whilst drinking alone since Peter was seemingly having a lot of fun on the dance floor. Rex had not thought that Peter would dance and that he could dance, but he was a decent dancer. Hutson couldn’t dance. He didn’t dance. He never danced. But while he was thinking that he remembered that he had for that one man. And those eyes and that smile and that warm feeling came up in his memories again, he could almost feel those hands in his own, that body touching his, the encouraging look the man had met his apologetic one with because he had continuously stepped onto his feet.

 

Rex gulped down more whisky again, let his hand run over his face, then he put off his jacket, then put it on again, then off again because he didn’t know what to do with himself to stop those memories from coming when it didn’t even stop them anymore that his body already consisted out of 65% whisky instead of water and he felt like he wanted to yell out all his anger and pain again. So he searched for something to do when his eyes that were still covered by the sunglasses fell onto Daniel and he kept himself from putting on the bomber jacket again distracting his mind with that man but not in the way the man had offered him that boldly, no, but with questions about him. Why was he out to get him? And why was Rex certain he had seen him somewhere before?

 

Hutson studied the man’s movements, his looks, his features, he searched through his drunken head like through a register, he imagined the man in different fields, doing different tasks, he gave him different outfits, different facial expressions as he was closely observing him and he took this incredibly serious, his eyes even narrowing concentrated until he found a picture in his memories. A poster to be accurate! A poster that had been hanging on the wall in his little sister Hannah’s bedroom in their parents mansion. “Got you.” He mumbled through his teeth.

 

With the memory of the picture the data that belonged to it popped up on his mind too. ‘Daniel Sutton. Singer-Songwriter. Popular with female audience. Ruined his own career.’ And it matched up. How pathetic! Someone too stupid to use the privileges and the wealth thrown at them for not even doing real work, for nothing that would make them deserve what they had in the first place, wisely, too stupid to keep it. Rex’s father had wanted to forbid his sister listening to such junk. And that had actually been the first and last time his sister had rebelled against their father. The teenager had had a major celebrity crush on Daniel back then, girls could be naïve, easily manipulated idiots and the industry knew how to manipulate them too. And his sister had bought it.

 

To Rex modern pop music was trash. It was deliberate national dulling to keep the people quiet and to dull their senses, to distract them from what really mattered. Pop music was fake, nothing real about it, producers producing songs in a way that they’d generate the largest profit. And the people were too dumb to see it. They loved that trivial, dumb music and stupid lyrics. As he was ranting on his mind about pop music those brown eyes, that smile and the freckled face came back onto his mind. Whenever he had had ranted about pop music being an instrument of national dulling and trivial the man had grinned at him and raised his eyebrows. “And the country songs you’re listening to aren’t trivial? They are deeply philosophical?” he had then always asked and Rex had explained how this was not comparable. How country music was about their cultural identity as a nation and the feelings connected to the land, the life and the culture. That it was really patriotic. And his boyfriend had not stopped grinning. “A song about some guy walking the way home to his farm is a representation of the nation’s cultural identity how?” And the blond had told him that this was about home and the deep feelings towards ones home and the man had laid his head to the side with a challenging grin. “And how is this less trivial then someone singing about falling in love with another human being or being lovesick as its common in pop music?” he had asked and Rex had called him a ‘Smartass’.

 

Fuck, he had loved this man. Everything about him! Even him being a smartass and making fun of his opinions and challenging him! And Hutson was back to where he had been again. Back at the memories, the memories that pained him enough to cripple him inside! So he forced himself to think more about his sister and what he had figured out about Daniel just now. Rex actually had seen the other man in concert once he remembered. His father had forbidden his sister to go there and had denied her his car to drive to the concert. So Hannah had asked Rex. More like begged Rex who had been significantly older and had had his own car. She had given him the puppy look and because she had been his sister he had driven her all the way to that fucking place and he had even endured to listen to the concert and the squealing and giggling of his sister and his sister’s friend next to him and all those other chicks in the hall. The blond was 100% certain that he had been the only male in the whole bloody hall.

 

When he got a chance and Daniel was around him the man who was now severely drunk, was laughing and snorting, seemingly randomly. “I know who you are Daniel.” He told him, placing the bottle of whisky back onto the coffee table. “Quite the career you’ve made. From a whore of the pop industry to a literal whore.” He said and he burped afterwards because he was just way too fucking drunk to consider manners. “Don’t you think it’s pathetic? Pathetic that someone who got everything presented to him on a golden plate threw himself and his dignity away like this without a fight. Surrendering at the first backlash.” He commented his bass voice slurring. “My sister had a crush on you.” Rex had no idea why he was still talking but he was. “I wonder how disappointed she’d be to learn that our father was right, that you are scum. To learn that her celebrity crush now sells his body to some dirty old losers and let’s them cum inside of his arse for just a little cash. All those masses of young girls you’ve disappointed. All those people. And you aren’t even ashamed of anything. You really have no standards for yourself have you?” he said laughing again without knowing what was even funny himself.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The night turned out to be so much better than the boredom at the brothel. Daniel didn‘t think he remembered actually having fun in the past few years like this. He was on good terms with his collegues and that made the atmosphere in the small club way better. After a few drinks he accompanied Tommy to the dance floor. Man, dancing and singing did still bring joy to him. He remembered being an awful dancer at the start of his career and it had taken many, many dancing lessons to get him ready for a live-show back then. Oh yeah, he had put those teachers off too.

After a while, Tommy leaned down to him asked for company for another drink. Daniel wasn‘t going to say now, honestly, but it might as well be the last one because he didn‘t want to spend too much of the little money he had.

They walked to the bar, where the music‘s volume was low enough to actually talk. Taking a seat, both of them paid for two drinks and clinked glasses before drinking. Feeling the bitterniss and the slightl burn in his neck, Daniel gulped against the taste. Tommy didn‘t seem to have any problem as he downed half of the glass right afterwards. „Pray tell, Danny,“ he said, setting the glass down on the counter and nodding to a certain person behind the brunette. „Ya think we made the alcohol problem worse?“

Daniel shot a glance over his shoulder to the lonely figure resting in the chair of a well-hidden table with a whiskey bottle. William seemed to be somewhere completely else, as if deeply thinking about something or stuck in a memory. „Do you really think it could increase?“ the brunette answered and turned his attention back to his collegue. He moved the glass in his hand playfully, creating a stir with the semi-transparent liquid inside.

„I don‘t think a whole bottle is healthy.“

„Try telling him.“

„True.“

Daniel had had his problems with alcohol as well during the climax of his career. Tons of requests for shows, intreviews, invitations and many more had bothered him for months and left him without any break. At that time he had been quite the asshole to his manager as well, who had quit not long after. It had seemed like he could only enjoy a full night of good sleep while hammered or high. However, that delusion was popped by his mother before it could be too late after he had appeared drunk at high-priced restaurant. After his manager had left, his mother had tried desperately to set everything straight, to set him straight. To her misfortune, he had already started to blame everything on her. He still clearly remembered the disappointment and anger in her sharp, hazel eyes, her hands remaining mid-air as she had been talking when being interrupted by her son. Daniel didn‘t know what exactly he had said to her back then but the reaction was branded into his memory. It had been enough to make her go silent, shoulders sinking down as tension had left her body. He had been able to see how warmth, sympathy and the motherly love for him faded away like sand slipping through slender fingers and leaving one empty-handed. In that exact moment she had let go of her responsibility for the young adult in front of her and with it went her whole interest and support. She hadn‘t even said a word, instead she had turned on her heels and walked away. The blue, glitter-covered dress she had worn on that day had sparkled brightly in the suite‘s light, harmonizing with the shine of her long brunette locks. The noise of her expensive high heels had filled the large room, and only when she had been out of the door, every piece of burden had slid off Daniel‘s shoulders. However, with the silence came nothingness. He remembered that feelings as very cold, like standing outside on a winter day without clothes, and also painful, like being stabbed in the back. There had been hardly anything to feel in that moment because there was nothing left to refer to. He couldn‘t call anyone, couldn‘t talk to anyone - finally, the last person he had had had abandoned him.

No, he hadn‘t had the strength to apologize. He had tried to move on, but the money had gone to waste quicker than expected and from one day of another he couldn‘t keep the apartment anymore. Daniel had left the same night. Just somewhere, somewhere where nobody knew his face, his name, where nobody would bother asking. He had been a prick and he understood that he didn‘t deserve infinite chances to correct his behavior, so believe it or not, working at the brothel had brought a strange feeling of relief. Sure, maybe he was just a coward and the shame was too great to bear, but at this point there was no going back anyway, especially with the little money he had.

 

„Well, then, let‘s go back!“ Grinning like a child, Tommy emptied his glass and gestured back to the dance floor. Daniel chuckled, finishing his drink as well and setting it back onto the counter. „Let me just lose my cardigan.“ It had become quite warm in here eventually, after all.

„Fineeee. I‘ll meet you there.“

Daniel watched his collegue going back to the dance floor while he turned around and made his way to the table William was sitting at. However, the moment he reached it, the blonde actually spoke to him and those words he said weren‘t what he had wished to hear. Emerald eyes blinked at the security guard, watching attentively how he placed the empty bottle on the table. The clinking noise, despite the music in the background, sounded extremely loud and disturbing to him in that moment. He listened to the other‘s drunken words in shock first, then only in silence, and when he was finally done, there was barely a reaction at first. Daniel couldn‘t put a finger on what he was feeling right now but it was something he hadn‘t experienced yet. It wasn‘t shame, it wasn‘t anger, it was some kind of heaviness in his chest, though it didn‘t drag him down, it felt more relieving. Eventually, his lips curved into a smile, and although it was bitter, it was genuine.

 

„Yeah, I know.“

 

He couldn‘t deny that he had had everything and that his mother had always given him everything too. There was literally no way he could talk himself out of such accusions. At first, around seven years ago, it had still been hard to accept that he had been in fact the only one to blame for everything that had gone wrong, though as time had passed in this town, the pain of being a failure had slowly faded.

„Well, it wasn‘t really a backlash, it was just me, honestly.“ Daniel pulled the cardigan off his shoulders and slid out of it easily, catching it with his right hand. „You probably won‘t remember this conversation anyway.“ Disappointment? He could swear that some people rather felt apathy for him than that. They had most likely been fine with his disappearance. „You wanna talk about your successful career? I am kidding.“ He chuckled, though it died quickly as his glimpse sank down to the whiskey bottle and a sigh left passed his lips. „Look, Will, if that‘s even your real name,“ Daniel continued, fiddling a little with the sleeves of his cardigan. „You probably know that people don‘t end up like this for nothing. I know this milieu isn‘t exactly… promising, but if you need a talk, let me know.“ Folding the cardigan, he set the piece of clothes on the empty chair nearby, ready to return to Tommy. Sure, maybe there was just infinite sorrow underneath William‘s attitude, but there would also be no progress if it stayed hidden. It was a personal choice and though Daniel doubted the blonde would remember the offer, he wouldn‘t put more pressure than necessary on him, let alone force him to cooperate.

[-Hideki-]

Triumph was what he felt when the other man was left speechless for a moment upon learning that Rex had figured out his identity and he felt like this strike had hit the other good enough and that this battle he had won. Certainly the war was still on but this was one step towards his victory. He’d make sure that the man would regret having started this war. Wanting to pull him down and destroy his principle and to make fun of him by doing so. It was satisfying enough for a twitch of the right side of the blond male’s mouth that went up a little but got back down immediately when the other spoke.

 

His eyes narrowed as he watched him and listened to him expressing a ‘Yeah I know’. The security guard wanted to sort that into this man’s display of apathy towards everything, towards himself, towards other people, towards morale and dignity. He wanted to take it as another prove of how he was worse than garbage but it would have been a lie if he had put that attribute onto this reaction and ignore the bitterness, maybe even pain that had sounded in his voice, making it seem more like admitting his failures, his wrongs and to do so one had to know that one had done something wrong. This didn’t fit the pattern. It didn’t fit the picture he had made himself of this man from his behaviour in the brothel and it took the former Major General aback and his blue eyes went to the half full bottle of whiskey on the table before they looked back at the brunette male.

 

Hearing him talk further didn’t grant him to go back to the box he had sorted the other into and that the other man was just apparently trying to climb out of and Rex’s brain wanted to badly shove him down into it again, make him fit his bloody box he had made for him when they had first met, damn it! This guy, he was taking responsibility for fucking up! Daniel was taking responsibility! The sentence was sounding absurd on his mind. Fortunately the other then made a remark about how the blond wouldn’t even remember that conversation and the blond let out a snort.

 

“You wish!” he remarked. “You wish that I’d forget about this conversation and what I know about you but I won’t. I don’t forget. Never forget. I have the brain and memory of an elephant!” The blond told him and his organs clenched inside. How often had he wished to forget things? To let go of them! But they were present in his mind and he was hunted by the memories of his past, the good and the bad ones and they stayed no matter what he tried. He remembered things clearly. His memory was incredibly good, high above average and for some reason Hutson had never even been able to have a proper blackout. That didn’t make the awakening after being drunk any better though because he had to cringe at every idiotic thing he had done or said when he had been drunk the next day.

 

His attention was grabbed by the whore in front of him again who dared to make a sarcastic remark in regards to his career. But although severely drunk decades of training since a young age didn’t just disappear and he also had not hammered that fake vita of William Brix he had come up with into his brain so that he would know it in his sleep for nothing. “What are you talking about? I was a security guard. I still am a security guard. Worked in clubs and for businesses before. Now I protect scum but I’m still a security guard.” Rex slurred and made a dismissive gesture with his hand as though the other man was just babbling nonsense.

 

It was true that he had also been a protector before. He had protected the nation and its people. A fighter for the freedom of the western world! And his career had been incredibly successful and picture book like. He had made his parents proud. He had become a Major General at an age that was considered young for that position. The blond also had been with the love of his life since his school days, he had had an amazing relationship that had been lasting for decades. Rex had also taken his profession incredibly seriously and would it be possible he’d rejoin the Army in a heartbeat! He’d even start from zero again and work himself up if he just could be a soldier again. But the dishonourable discharge was keeping him from it. The dishonourable discharge that had ended his career! Ended his chances to further pursue his profession ever again! That had led him to this point. And still, he had no regrets regarding his career. There were other things he regretted, he regretted so much that it hunted and pained him but this was not it. In that situation he’d do it all again! He’d do it again knowing the consequences it would have for him. It didn’t even matter whether it had been wrong or right, the man didn’t even know and he didn’t care, he’d always make the same decision again.

 

And as he was thinking that a fist was forming under the table and it felt like a rock on his chest was making it hard to breathe but thankfully he was thrown out of his thoughts about his life by Daniel again and he got less tense as he looked at him in the present than thinking about the past. When the other said his fake name with the addition of the question whether it even was his real name Rex snorted. “No, it’s not. My real name is Agent Smith from the FBI.” He remarked in a dry, sarcastic joking manner. “Whatever drugs you’re taking, take less!” the blond then added. What followed had him off guard again and he stared. He just stared. Baffled.

 

Daniel was offering him to talk with him about what? His problems? His feelings? What? What should he need to talk about? The security guard still stared at him when he was going back to the dance floor and he shook his head. Was that another attempt to get to him? Did he hope to be able to land a strike and cause him harm this way? Or did that whore really think that he needed someone to talk? Much less him? Did he actually think that Rex talked about his fee-fees and would get all trusty and touchy feely and shit? Feelings weren’t something one talked about; one drowned them, or punched them, till they were dead. Or so Rex did. It just didn’t seem to work that well anymore because they didn’t want to fucking die! But talking about them? What good would it bring? What would it change? It would solely be a waste of time wouldn’t it.

 

 

It made him mad and he rose from his place deciding to go and give in to his full bladder He had half a bottle of whisky left there for him still after all. But when he stood he felt dizzy and as he was making his way to the toilet he was swaying a little as he walked, not able to walk entirely straight anymore. His vision somewhat blurry as well! And he felt that this had not been the only thing he had drunken that day.

 

 

The bathroom stank grosser than the entrance of the brothel and that meant something. It was disgusting and the mere idea of touching something in there made Rex’s skin crawl. It had a stall without a door and damaged walls and no proper urinals but just some wall and a gutter on the ground. Still feeling dizzy he got to business, closing his eyes to get rid of the blurry vision and dizzy feeling, struggling to stand straight on his feet as he was pissing against the wall or thought he was pissing against the wall at least. That he got to believe until the dude next to him was suddenly yelling at him. “Fucking arsehole, you’re pissing on my fucking shoe!” The man got incredibly aggressive and when Rex turned his head to the guy he saw a huge, buff man who probably belonged to some rocker gang. “I’m not. You’re probably just too dumb to piss probably so you’re pissing on your own shoe.” Rex commented without looking because he was pretty certain that he was aiming totally straight at the wall alright! But he wasn’t and next thing he knew was the guy grabbing him by his collar aiming a punch at him and Rex ducking his head away, his body instinctively remembering his training as he fought that man, smacking his head against that guy’s head, before smashing the man’s face and his body against the pissed wall.

 

As the man was lying on the disgusting ground and in the piss of the guests of the club Rex sighed and closed his pants again. Before he gave the man a look and realised the blood and the bad state he was in, realising that he had just knocked him out. “Shit.” He cursed in his slurry voice, checking if the man was still alive or not. The good thing was, the guy was alive. The bad thing was, he needed a fucking ambulance or it wouldn’t stay that way.

 

Thoughts rushing through his drunken head, making it more difficult to think clearly, he was rushing out of the bathroom and went over to the barkeeper. “Yo!” he demanded his attention and the man smiled at him asking him what he could do for him. “There is a knocked out guy in the bathroom. Just saw him laying there when I went in. Pretty bad, better call an ambulance, just thought I’d let you know.” And before the barkeeper could say anything further or ask him any other question Rex disappeared in the crowd. He needed to get out there before anyone would want him as a witness or anyone could come to the conclusion that he had knocked the guy out because then they’d get behind his fake ID and identity. But he also still had to work. His work was not over yet. He had to leave but to work at the same time. In the blink of a moment he got an idea, headed to the dance floor, grabbed Daniel by his wrist and pulled the shorter man out of the door without a word, without turning towards him, he was just holding onto him with a strong grip dragging him after himself like a pet on a leash.

 

The cool breeze felt a little clearing and made his head throb less but he was still walking away in an incredibly fast pace, into no particular direction just away, dragging the prostitute behind himself, rushing through the streets, ignoring Daniel, just coming to a halt after ten minutes, standing next to a bus stop and a small supermarket that was open 24/7. Taking a deep breath he sorted himself and looked around to get back some orientation before he finally realise that he was still holding the whore’s wrist in a tight, almost crushing grip. He let go of Daniel’s wrist and turned around to him, examining him, seeing that he had dragged the man outside with him without his cardigan. Still wordlessly he got out of the bomber jacket and threw it over the slim and shorter male’s shoulders, the shirt he was wearing giving away his muscular arms, shoulders and chest better as he stared into the green eyes of the prostitute, having had no further plan than to take work with him and to get away from that club.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The moment Daniel stepped onto the dance floor was gorgeous. The music washed away the weight lasting on his shoulders, the colourful lights stopped time and the dancing quickly got rid of the tension in his back. The alcohol was probably helping more than he wanted it to, but he had to admit that Tommy had handed him few but strong drinks the past 45 minutes.

„What took you so long?“ his collegue already wanted to know when the brunette joined him. However, he just shrugged. „Don‘t worry about it!“ To his luck, Tommy was a simple-minded man so he just dropped it and they went on to dance. In the meantime, the other two prostitues had done well in fishing out two guys for both of them and gently throwing seductive hints at the males. Apparently, mentioned men were taking those positively too, and Daniel didn‘t even notice how the four of them slowly moved away to a less crowded place of the club.

Though he couldn‘t disagree on being happy in the moment, there was still an empty spot inside his chest. Before he had started drinking alone at home, he had gone out with his friends multiple times. Of course, his collegues weren‘t the worst people, however nobody was a replacement for someone who had been dear to one. Before coming to this district, Daniel had often fantasize about conversations with Monique, his best female friend back then. He still remembered the soft scent of her flowery parfume and the colourful croptops she used to wear as a teenager. Her short, blonde hair had always raised extra attention from the opposite sex when she left her apartment, and to be honest, she had also been the first person to give Daniel the cold shoulder. Back then he hadn‘t understood but a few years later the meaning of „a good friend will always stab you in the front“ had hit him like an ice-cold fist in the face. Best friends knew when to leave, and even when they did, they still tried not to betray you. It hurt, yes, though at least it wasn‘t a knife in the back. Monique had indeed told him several times that his behaviour had been more than just obnoxious but had he listened? Nooooo.

 

Time slowed down as Daniel‘s gaze rose to the ceiling. Monique still had a place in his heart and that empty spot would never be filled, therefore he held it dear, like a destroyed toy, warm and safe in an embrace. He hadn‘t even thought about contacting her, after all she didn‘t deserve a friend such as he had been. On the contrary, she deserved the best, in his eyes at least, and she would receive the best as long as he would stay out of her life.

Suddenly, without any warning at all, foreign fingers snaked around his wrist and held it in a stern grip. There was only so much time for him to turn his head and look at the person, but even then all he got to see was the back. However, the back was enough, he knew that bomber jacket and he also knew that muscular figure, it was William.

 

„Wi-“

 

Only that piece of verbal language passed his lips before he was heftily pulled off the dance floor and forcefully dragged out of the whole building. There was no hesitation, disruption or tenderness in the motion of the security guard - he moved quickly, smoothly and without a break. Before Daniel even knew it, he was out in the cold, stumbling along behind the blonde, still being led by the wrist. Neither William‘s speed nor his grip softened, it all stayed at a steady level, which was both frightening and impressive.

„Will! William! What happened?! HEY!“ Daniel called out to the man countless times but ended up being ignored every time. A goos flesh covered his body the moment the warmth of the club was washed off his limbs by the wind.

Had some serious incident happened? He hadn‘t seen Peter act, nor had Tommy seemed alarmed. And speaking of those…

Daniel threw a glance over his shoulder, however there was nobody behind them. Had William seriously only taken him outside and left the rest at the club? Did Peter know what was going on?

Daniel almost tripped over a branch lying on the pavement as he was desperately trying to match the taller male‘s walking speed. He remembered that William was extremely drunk right now, so maybe this was just a drunk-action.

 

Anyhow, what the hell?

 

Finally they slowed down and William halted in the middle of the pavement. They were at least a mile away from the club now. The moment the security guard let go of Daniel‘s wrist, he pulled his hand to his chest and securely laid the fingers of his fit hand around it, as if it would ease the pain. The feeling of the heads of his ulna and radius violently pushed together was grim, though whining about it wouldn‘t make it go away, so he just ignored it for now. Admitted, he had never thought about William‘s actual strength. Sure, the blonde looked hella strong, but actually experiecing a piece of his power surely left a bitter impression.

 

In all honesty, Daniel was a little confused at first when William proceeded to take off his jacket, because the last thing he had thought of was the other offering it to him - even if it was more of a thoughtless act of responsibility. Neither way, Daniel appreciated the warmth it gave, getting sick wasn‘t an option as a prostitute. He couldn‘t afford it.

The lights of the supermarket drew long shadows of both of them, which stretched out on the road and whose heads slowly faded into the darkness on the other side of the street.

Daniel stared back up to the security guard expressionless at first. He tried to take it all in, all what had just happened. Okay. They were standing somewhere in nirvana of a dirty, old district filled with crime, blood and body parts. Yeah.

 

A few minutes passed and Daniel finally opened his mouth and the question which passed his lips was so seriously spoken that it appeared sharp enough to cut air. „Are you okay?“

Getting drunk was one thing but getting drunk and running away was another. Admitted, he didn‘t really know heavy drinkers, but if life with them was like this then this was a problem. He hadn‘t seen William back away from anyone or anywhere and he really wasn‘t the type to do so unless there was a specific reason for it. Assuming the worst, he had killed someone.

Daniel‘s gaze moved over to the supermarket, then it returned to William. „You could use a snack on that much alcohol, don‘t you think? Unless you feel like vomitting.“ There was no way in hell to save the blonde in that drunken state, but what he definitely needed was a bed. Now, Daniel didn‘t know where the other lived, to be honest he didn‘t even know what half of the district looked like, after all he hardly ever left the brothel. The last thing he wanted was for William to collapse because he wouldn‘t be able to carry him, then again he didn‘t seem like the type to just lose consciousness or fall asleep on a pavement. "And then we should get you home for a long sleep. You will catch a cold if we stay out here longer than necessary."

[-Hideki-]

Now that he had come to a halt and was standing opposite to the whore who looked as though he was bogged down by the way too huge and heavy jacket of his the throbbing in his head and the dizziness came back to him and his head felt so heavy, so fucking heavy that he got the feeling that it’d drag him down, down through the cracked ground of the pavement into eternal darkness and silence and something within him wanted that. A voice reminded him of Daniel’s existence that had seemed all too far away in that moment although his blue eyes had been on the prostitute and he heard the male asking him if he was okay, in a dead serious way. A similar tone as the man in the shower room in the gym had had who had apparently gotten the impression that the blond had wanted to off himself.

 

“Fine.” He responded in the same way but maybe due to the alcohol in his system he actually said more than one word to the expressed concern of the brunette. “Just needed to get out of there. The place made me sick.” He slurred and as he spoke the dialect of his Southern home state was breaking through in his voice without him even realising that it was getting out again. Rex had been certain he didn’t have a dialect anymore since a long time, even before his discharge. But it sometimes made an appearance as if it wanted to be remembered in different kind of situations and in different kind of emotional states or like now when he was severely drunk.

 

As Daniel turned his head to the side and looked at the supermarket the blue gaze followed his instinctively and he asked himself what was so interesting about that stupid supermarket when the other suggested that he could use a snack. He wanted to decline and say he was fucking fine and the other should stop concerning himself with him but he decided that there couldn’t be any harm in eating something since he hadn’t done that since …. When had he eaten the last time? It had probably been the pieces of frozen pizza from the night before. “Alright.” He agreed and gesticulated towards the supermarket before following the younger one inside; ignoring the other stating that he should go home and sleep then because that was not an option as he still had to work, why else would he have brought his work along?

 

Had he not had the feeling as though he had to throw up every second before the light in the supermarket was pure torture and he realised he had forgotten his sunglasses in that bloody club. Having stepped into the shop he wanted to get out again as soon as possible hence he rushed through it but after he had grabbed two tinned coffees and a water some thug was walking through the shop playing loud hip-hop from his phone without using headphones and the fire of his rage was fuelled again and his muscles got tense as he pressed the stuff he had gabbed into Daniel’s arms. Fury and hate against people who behaved like this and hip-hop which he deemed a bloody cancer and refused to call music was boiling in him and he turned around and shot the thug a death glare. “What you look at old fuck!” noises came out of the thug’s mouth aggressively, in a threatening tone which reminded of words. “Turn that garbage off right now!” Rex ordered. “Piss off!” the thug said, moving forward, making himself large and in the blink of a second the guys arm was twisted, he was crying out and his face was pressed against the freezer cabinet, the blond male’s large other hand having a tight grip around his neck. “You crazy!” the guy cried, the grip got stronger, the arm twisted further back. “Let me go! Let me go! Man!” he yelled and Rex let go of his neck but pressed the other down with his bodyweight instead, getting the offending cellphone out of the man’s pocket, throwing it onto the ground and stomping onto it, breaking it into pieces, the loud hip-hop noises dying and one could only hear the whimpering from the thug and the salesman who had been fidgeting with his bullet proof vest and whose hands were shivering, trying to make himself invisible as he had the last twenty-three times there had been even worse violent outbreaks in the store during his shifts that month always hoping he’d survive and get back to the trashy room he was living in. Those big wigs should totally pay him a danger allowance for working in that store!

 

“There we go! You could have had it the nice way you sorry excuse for a human being.” The ex-soldier roared, let go of the thug and pushed him away. The man was stumbling and stumbling directly towards the exit forgetting completely whatever it had been that he had wanted to buy. The rage calming down Hutson let Daniel carry the stuff he had picked and went through the store grabbing some protein bars before he walked to the counter to pay for the stuff what surprised the salesman because he usually was just glad if they left him unharmed when conflicts in the store occurred. Rex however was polite and bought the goods as if nothing had even happened.

 

Back outside he put everything despite of the two coffees and two protein bars into the pockets of the bomber jacket that was hanging over Daniel’s shoulders before he sat down at the bus stop, giving the brunette man one of the tinned coffees and one of the protein bars before he started to eat and drink the cold coffee. “We’ll go to a hotel until the shift is over.” He told the other staring straight ahead waiting for the bus to arrive. He had just eaten the protein bar and emptied the coffee when the bus already came and he bought a ticket before sitting down onto a seat next to the window comfortable. His arm hanging above the backrest of the seat next to him and his long legs wide apart!

 

He’d probably never get used to how busses smelled. Like everything in that district they as well as some of the people inside stank as if they had slept at a dump the night before. The former Major General had never had to go anywhere by public transportation before he had come to that place. He had been driven to where he had had to go and as soon as he had been legally allowed he had owned his own car not to mention that he had spent his youth in the military school which had been a residential school!

 

His blue eyes fell down onto the ticket he was holding in his hands, examining it as if it was really interesting and when he saw the date printed onto the paper; it was like a hit into his guts again. It was still his birthday. And because he was drunk and because he had forgotten his sunglasses one could see how his expression got somewhat pained as he stared at that ticket for way too long and then out of the window biting his bottom lip, seeing the scum and the dirt of the district feeling as though even this place would be bearable if he’d be there. He had made everything better! Military school, military academy, even the front line although he had always wanted to send him away from there, away from the danger. All the alcohol in his system couldn’t numb what he felt and he felt as though he was suffocating but he wasn’t. The blond was sitting in a bus with a whore on the way to a hotel because he had knocked someone out in his drunken head on a day that had been so special to him and that had always been happy and nice! Much more special than his own birthday! His own birthday he had never cared much for or birthdays in general, he had found the celebrations stupid but his he had loved as he had loved him and he had always celebrated it with him. But there he was and as he was looking out of the window it was starting to rain.

[♠[Rin]♠]

„William!“ The exclamation wasn‘t as worried as one might have thought. It was more of a mixture of frustration and bitter acceptance. The moment the blonde had pushed the goods into Daniel‘s hand in order to start a fight with a random guy playing loud music, Daniel didn‘t really have the energy to do anything against it. He already knew that the other was grumpy, and apparently even aggressive when drunk too. With a sigh, he followed the guard to the counter to pay for the food and drinks and left with him as well. Had that argument really been necessary? In everyone‘s head, no, in the blonde‘s, yes. Then again, Daniel chose not to take it all too seriously. Sometimes he tended to forget where he was.

After most of the purchases found a home in the pocket of William‘s jacket, he was actually handed one of the coffees and one protein bar. A little surprised and also sceptical, Daniel accepted the offer. „Thanks.“ He opened the coffee carefully and took a few sips. He had drunken better things, but coffeine was coffeine and the time of a superstar was long over. Currently he was more or less living off water and mostly sandwiches.

 

Daniel rested his left arm against his ribs with the protein bar in it, pulling the jacket a little down with two fingers a manner of receiving more warmth, while he nipped on the coffee. And only when he heard the guard‘s words and realized their meaning, the brunette lowered the drink a little. „A hotel? Are you serious? Is there something you are afraid of that you don‘t want to go back to the brothel?“ It would be simplest way, however he didn‘t exactly question William, it was more a gesture of concern. Why would the guard want to leave in the first place, and why so far away as well?

 

The bus was soon to come and William entered it without a glance back. Clicking his tongue, Daniel followed. He asked the bus driver to print the same ticket as the „man before him“ and paid for it. The direction didn‘t help him figuring out where the hell they were going, especially because he wasn‘t familiar with what the district looked like as a whole, let alone where specific shops, hotels or restaurants were located.

„Thank you.“ Daniel took the ticket and stepped into the sitting area. Most of the chairs were empty. The chance of most people being either in bed, at work or already in a club or disco was high, thus it didn‘t surprise him.

He walked over to the two seats at the window where William had already taken a seat and sat down on the corridor seat. The bus rattled as the driver lazily took his foot off the clutch too quickly and the vehicle moved forward, moving around like soup in a bowl that had been carried carelessly and threatened to spill. Daniel lowered the coffee. His gaze wandered over to the guard, whose expression had somehow changed. It was either pain or sorrow reflecting in his blue eyes. The brunette followed his stare and reached the ticket. What was wrong with it? Did it have to do with today‘s date?

 

„Are you okay?“

 

He hadn‘t gotten an answer the first time and he didn‘t really expect to get one now as well, but he had always been humanitarian and throwing away a good personality trait only because he was living in a shit hole of a city wasn‘t worth it.

The light in the bus was dimmed to a certain degree, making it possible to see some of the outside even if it was almost pitch black. The lights of the shops and lonely houses blurred as the vehilce gained speed. Daniel leaned back in the seat and sighed to himself. The warmth in here gave him some kind of questionable comfort. He appreciated the jacket but he also missed his cardigan and he doubted he would get it back.

 

„When I was in Mexico for a concert I actually drank my first coffee“, he said. Considering how bad William looked, he might use some distraction, even if Daniel doubted he was interested in some worthless stories. It was worth a try though. „It was, not gonna lie, the best cup of liquid I had ever had. I was eightteen back then. And, well, at least I had thought that coffee was going to be my new favourite drink and that I would figure out which one I would have to buy in Los Angeles to drink it every morning. However, turned out that my Mom had actually mixed chocolate into the coffee because she didn‘t want me to be all hyperactive because of coffeine. So that was quite a fail story in my beginning adult life back then.“

 

The traffic lights in front turned red, though the bus didn‘t stop and crossed the empty junction anyway.

The atmosphere stayed lonesome and grey. Despite his stupid story, nothing really changed. It seemed like not even the happiest or funniest things would bring colour into the motionless, pale enviorement of this place. In fact, he appreciated calm and quiet, so maybe waiting for the bus to stop was the best. Sure, he didn‘t know why William‘s mood would suddenly change to the worse, but doing nothing felt pretty wrong as well. It was like watching someone getting beat up. Of course, going over - well knowing that you aren‘t strong enough - and being beat up as well didn‘t make any difference too, however, what use was it to stand there and watch instead? Yeah, that was some high-quality philosophical shit though, and probably worthless as well, given the situation they were in.

 

„Sorry. I tend to talk a lot when it gets quiet.“

[-Hideki-]

“No!” it came direct and cold from him as he stared ahead onto the empty, cracked streets. “I just don’t want to burn that fucking place down if you get what I mean by that.” Rex let the man know and while he wasn’t actually thinking or talking about arson here he was feeling so angry and miserable that he’d definitely hurt someone if he had to deal with those people in the brothel, this night had already brought enough rage, enough conflict and enough blood onto his hands and there was no way in which he would be able to bear the brothel right now. That place wasn’t exactly his favourite place to be after all. It just reminded him about the general decay, not only his own decay but how everything, the whole world, seemed to be on decay.

 

He listened to the noises the drops of rain made when they were hammering against the window of the bus, staring outside when Daniel’s voice sounded again asking him the same question he had asked him before. Rex should have gotten mad because a)did the other ask him the same thing he had already answered again and b)was he apparently doing so because he had caught onto something, on the grief and the pain and the misery he felt and was struggling to suppress and to numb but was having no success at all. Instead he repeated:”Fine.” Again but although he tried to make his voice sound indifferent it had sounded heavy, distant, quieter than usual.

 

Proceeding in staring into the dark nothingness and listening as the rain got gradually heavier and more intense, the wind speed rising, remembering that there was supposed to be a storm coming he was turning away from the other again, his face completely to the side not wanting to give the man more of an opportunity to look into his stupid eyes because he had forgotten his sun glasses in his rush, anticipating that storm. He hoped it to be a proper one. Nature blasting through that district with all its force! The powerful growl of thunder to feel in his guts and the beauty and grace of the lightning on the dark sky! Rex had always loved storms and extreme weather. Even as a kid. While other kids hid themselves and had gotten scared he had run outside when a thunderstorm was breaking loose, his worried mother battling to get her kid back into the house the little boy protesting as the garden furniture had been flying over the lawn.

 

Extreme weather had never lost its fascination to him. It was outright beautiful to him. It’s power, how untameable it was, unbreakable, unstoppable. Hutson had always admired that sheer power and strength of a storm, the fastness of lightning and he had wanted those characteristics for himself as well. This he had enjoyed so much that it had become an odd hobby of his. He had usually read the weather forecast and when there was a great storm coming he would go there and take photos which he collected in a photo book just for storms. There was no human to see on those photos, he had not allowed that, except for one. That one human had been on many. And he had been indescribably handsome and gracious as he had stood there in the middle of those storms. It wasn’t like his ex boyfriend had liked storms or had found anything about them but he had known Rex had and seeing the blue eyes shine, the excitement in his voice his fascination and little obsession shining through had made the man with the brown eyes and the caramel blond hair happy. He had been happy to see the blond happy. And for that he’d gotten up in the middle of the night and driven two hours so that Rex could take a picture of a tornado in the early morning hours. The blond had appreciated and valued it. He had felt so deeply rooted affection and love in those moments because he knew that everyone else would have called him nuts that it was unbelievable. But he had done it! Without a single complain! He’d never find someone as great! A man who’d literally put himself up against a hurricane for him.

 

Him being tingled with nostalgia that was cutting deeper than any knife could again the voice of the male prostitute next to him was pulling him out of the river of memories he was seeming to drawn in even more than he usually did. Even though he didn’t turn his head around and his eyes were still facing the window he listened to the brunette male when he spoke and what he heard was a story about the other man drinking his first coffee in Mexico, telling him how great he had thought the coffee had been only to later learn that his mother had diluted it with hot-chocolate stating that this had been a fail start into adulthood. It was a light, trivial story, nothing of importance and yet his thin lips curled into a hint of a smile.

Hot chocolate. Coffee. His boyfriend had never liked coffee. He had always stressed how he found the taste bitter and gruesome. Hence, whenever Rex had had a coffee the other had either drunken hot chocolate or tea and he had always put marshmallows in it, even into the tea. The other had generally had a sweet tooth other than Rex when he had grown up. As a kid he had liked sweet stuff as well, which kid didn’t? But he had drunken this when his boyfriend had made hot chocolate for him too because it had been from him although he had vigorously refused the marshmallows.

 

“No.” Rex’s voice then sounded and he turned his face a little towards Daniel again. “It’s not a fail.” He said and he meant it. He found the story rather charming. Rather familiar in a sense. Making this whore seem more like a person and less like a, well, a whore to him. The blond turned back to the window again but he took a slight breath before he spoke another time, his dialect now heavier than in a really long time and if the other man wasn’t deaf or dumb he’d know that Rex was not from that state for sure now. “When I came back from hunting with my dad and we’ve gutted the prey, we brought it to my mum. I wanted to watch her cook it because I had hunted it. But my mum didn’t want men disturbing her in her kitchen so she gave me hot chocolate or a cookie and allowed me to watch kids TV that she had approved of just to get rid of me.” The man said the way he told it making it clear that this had been special moments because his mother hadn’t allowed him to have sweets often and he hadn’t been allowed to watch TV usually.

 

Silence was coming back between them and the blond was now leaning his heavy, hot feeling drunken head against the window about to sink back into that deep dark river of thoughts when the other apologised to him telling him that he had a habit of talking when it got quiet. His blue eyes watched the other from the side, how the shorter man was sitting there basically buried by his jacket, his brown hair ever so messy. “I don’t.” Rex expressed. “Talk much I mean.” The blond said. That was true. He wasn’t exactly talk active. Especially with strangers. He hated small-talk and seemed distanced and unreachable usually. The man only ever cared to really talk to and share things with those close to him. Having told the other about the hot chocolate and the cookies after hunting as a kid had been incredibly much already for him and was probably to blame on the alcohol too. He’d most likely not have told the other that had he been sober.

 

Finally the bus arrived at the station; Rex got up from the seat and gesticulated Daniel to do the same. As soon as they had stepped out the rain was whipping their faces but the bus stop was right in front of the hotel. It was a small one. And the building already looked fallen out of time. And so did its rooms. It smelled like greasy foods, the counter was sticky and the old woman who was sitting behind it in a creaking wooden chair didn’t say a word when she stood up and watched them from behind thick glasses. “A room. Two people. This night only.” The blond told her, put some money onto the counter and the old woman took it and then handed the blond man the key to the room, going back to her chair without a word but her translucent old eyes were following the two men as they were disappearing up the stairs. Not because they were specifically interesting, no, she had seen almost everything and she was used to people using that hotel mostly to fuck their affairs and to hide said affairs and a man with another man was no news to her but they simply were more interesting than the picture of the crying clown on the wall opposite to her chair she had stared at almost the whole day.

 

Arriving at the room he unlocked the door. It was plain, ramshackled and old but not dirty or unhygienic. It had two oaken bedside tables, a massive oaken bed, a small table and a chair in the corner, a cupboard with a tube television on it and heavy, grey curtains before the windows. Closing the door, locking it behind them the first thing Rex did was walking over to the windows pulling the curtains away. Just when he had done so the first lightning was to see and thunder to hear and the security guard pulled out his phone from his pocket and opened the window, the strong wind blowing the rain inside of the small room mercilessly. The ex-soldier leaned his body out of the window, just staring for a while the phone ready, taking one or the other shot when the opportunity to make a great photo was given to him. His eyes had started to shine at seeing the lightning and there was a stupid, almost happy smile playing around his lips as he was leaning in the storm childlike fascination on his face.

 

After a while he got back inside, closed the window and realised that he was drenched. His hair, his face, his shirt, his phone, his arms, everything drenched The man let the phone slide back into his pocket before he was pulling his wet shirt over his head laying it over the heater, turning it on, exposing his incredibly muscular, broad built. Blond body hair growing on his defined chest and around his navel, a trail leading down and disappearing in his pants! His boyfriend had once asked him to shave it off, had wanted to see how his torso looked like without hair and Rex had asked him if he was nuts, that he wasn’t a chick or a sissy and wouldn’t shave his body hair off. It had made the other sigh telling him that he too trimmed his body hair and that he just really wanted to see it and feel it and if he did this for him he could ask him everything and he’d do it for him. The blond had not been able to resist this temptation. He had shaved off all the hair from his chest and stomach and he had felt like an idiot and had not liked it, finding himself looking odd without it but it had been worth it in the end. Hence he had made that deal with his lover quite some times.

 

Stepping into the bathroom he took one of the towels offered by the hotel and rubbed his face and hair dry, continuing with his body, then putting the towel onto the table, walking over to where the TV was in the room, taking the remote control turning that old thing of a TV on and it was working. The thing showed a picture. The quality was trash but it worked. Zapping through the program he searched for a documentary. He hated fiction, he didn’t get the appeal and the news always made him furious and he was literally shouting at the reporters really dissatisfied with their coverage of the news whenever he watched them. He was lucky though as he found a documentary about polar bears. The man stepped out of his shoes before he threw himself onto the right side of the bed, staring at the TV trying to focus on it.

 

Surprisingly enough it weren’t his thoughts and the throbbing of his head, or the dizziness he had felt when he had laid himself down though but noises out of the next room through the almost paper-thin wall that made it impossible for him to understand anything that was told about the polar bears. There had been steps, giggling, a creak and then almost silence before there were loud moans, dirty talking, screaming, and the constant squeaking of the bed. Rex’s carotid pulsed dangerously as he rolled his eyes as wide as he could, then closed them and took a deep breath to calm the anger that was on the rise again, turning the TV louder and louder and louder, until the commentator was shouting his polar bear information into their ears, causing the drunken security guard’s head to ache so he turned it down to normal volume again what made the fucking of the couple in the other room hearable again.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The old lady at the hotel was creepy, but Daniel didn‘t know what he had expected from the people living here. He himself wasn‘t so much better, to be honest. He didn‘t really talk to anyone here, especially because he didn‘t even put one foot outside of the brothel usually. He was a grown man, yes, but he was in awe of all the dangerous people out there. He wasn‘t trained, nor did he know anything about self-defense. All in all, he was a pretty easy prey for a dedicated person.

The brunette followed the security guard upstairs to the room. William unlocked the apartment and went in first. Daniel closed the door behind himself and took off the jacket to put it away - well, he meant to put it on the bed when out of the sudden, William opened the windows. The prostitue instantly blinked in confusion and watched the security guard standing there in the force of the storm. Rain soaked him, the wind cloaked him and the lightning created abstract shadows on his entire body. And what was that? Upon closer examination, Daniel could spot a smile on William‘s face. The other liked storms, probably, apparently, obviously. It was a kind of weird thing to like, but not as abstract as it sounded if he thought about it. Everyone enjoyed some rain and wind or the rumbling of thunder in the background, yet it wasn‘t comparable with what he was witnessing right now. This was dedication, devotion, emotional affection. It must have been something personal, because hell, he was standing there, leaning into a thunderstorm and taking pictures of it.

 

As soon as William closed the windows again, silence filled the room. The wind was gone, the rain was back outside, the thunder sounded muffled; it felt like being isolated from nature so suddenly. Daniel‘s curly hair fell back in place and he narrowed his eyebrows in retrospect, but left it all be. It wasn‘t his business, really.

He walked over to the bed and laid the jacket down on it. William took off his shirt in the meantime to place it on the heater since it was fully soaked in rainwater. Subsequently, he went to the bathroom - probably to dry himself off - and came out to turn on the TV. He changed channel after channel until a… documentary about polar bears was on. Daniel shrugged his shoulders, telling himself not to think about it. William was very much different, it almost seemed like they were opposites. Usually, a saying would say, Oppsoites attract, but to be honest, he wasn‘t so sure about it. Every time when William said something, he instantly fell into some kind of trance afterwards, as if he drowned in a spiral of thoughts automatically. There was something big keeping him at bay, day by day. Maybe even night by night. No matter what it was, it was obviously something personal, something too big to be forgotten. Something that mattered more than reality. If Daniel were to guess, he would say it was something that was long gone. Therefore, no matter how hard he tried to keep up a conversation, William would always fall back into this vacuum, which he could only imagine as an endless, silent, isolated corridor with no light at the end.

 

The change of volume dragged Daniel out of his train of thought. The bars on the bottom of the TV‘s display became more and more as William, now lying on the bed, turned the sound up. Daniel covered one of his ears and narrowed his eyes in slight pain, but the blonde let the volume drop soon again. He could now hear the cause: Sounds of sex from the other room. To be honest, he had expected this to happen, this was a hotel after all and the walls were as thin as paper.

Daniel brought a hand to his face and rubbed over his eyes, then drove his fingers through his hair. A bit of rainwater stuck to his hand, which reminded him that he too had walked in the rain earlier. Seeing as William was fighting with both, holding his anger in about the couple having sex in the other room and struggling with his drunken state, Daniel decided to give him some time to calm down a little. „I am going to take a shower briefly,“ he told him. „Maybe you should turn the volume up just a little and try to sleep. You look like the type to fall asleep in front of the TV.“ To lift the mood a little, Daniel flashed the security guard an encouraging smile along with his statement and then vanished into the bathroom. The moment he closed the door behind himself, he finally took a deep breath. The room was tight; the old-fashioned, small bathtub-shower just so fit in between the toilette and the washing basin. The mirror above the latter was cracked on the side and pretty dirty. There was a wooden table with toilet paper and towels in the corner, leaving just enough space for taking three or four steps into the room.

Daniel took off his clothes and stepped into the bathtub, ignoring the fact that it might have needed a bit of cleaning. He pulled the curtain close, turned water on, waited for it to be half-way warm and cleaned himself of any rainwater remains. The tickling of the water on his skin made him feel somewhat better, although he hadn‘t even known that he was feeling a little down. Usually he wasn‘t easily taken aback by anything or anyone, but right now, there was an unexplainable pressure in his chest.

Daniel eventually blamed the change of weather for his discomfort. He turned off the water, dried himself off and put his clothes back on. There was no hair brush in here, so he sort of combed his wet hair with his fingers, before he left the bathroom again and skipped over to the left side of the bed. Sitting down and pulling his legs up, he stretched his arms into the air, arching his back like a cat. Fatigue was slowly pulling on him, so he guessed that the night would soon come to an end.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The old lady at the hotel was creepy, but Daniel didn‘t know what he had expected from the people living here. He himself wasn‘t so much better, to be honest. He didn‘t really talk to anyone here, especially because he didn‘t even put one foot outside of the brothel usually. He was a grown man, yes, but he was in awe of all the dangerous people out there. He wasn‘t trained, nor did he know anything about self-defense. All in all, he was a pretty easy prey for a dedicated person.

The brunette followed the security guard upstairs to the room. William unlocked the apartment and went in first. Daniel closed the door behind himself and took off the jacket to put it away - well, he meant to put it on the bed when out of the sudden, William opened the windows. The prostitue instantly blinked in confusion and watched the security guard standing there in the force of the storm. Rain soaked him, the wind cloaked him and the lightning created abstract shadows on his entire body. And what was that? Upon closer examination, Daniel could spot a smile on William‘s face. The other liked storms, probably, apparently, obviously. It was a kind of weird thing to like, but not as abstract as it sounded if he thought about it. Everyone enjoyed some rain and wind or the rumbling of thunder in the background, yet it wasn‘t comparable with what he was witnessing right now. This was dedication, devotion, emotional affection. It must have been something personal, because hell, he was standing there, leaning into a thunderstorm and taking pictures of it.

 

As soon as William closed the windows again, silence filled the room. The wind was gone, the rain was back outside, the thunder sounded muffled; it felt like being isolated from nature so suddenly. Daniel‘s curly hair fell back in place and he narrowed his eyebrows in retrospect, but left it all be. It wasn‘t his business, really.

He walked over to the bed and laid the jacket down on it. William took off his shirt in the meantime to place it on the heater since it was fully soaked in rainwater. Subsequently, he went to the bathroom - probably to dry himself off - and came out to turn on the TV. He changed channel after channel until a… documentary about polar bears was on. Daniel shrugged his shoulders, telling himself not to think about it. William was very much different, it almost seemed like they were opposites. Usually, a saying would say, Oppsoites attract, but to be honest, he wasn‘t so sure about it. Every time when William said something, he instantly fell into some kind of trance afterwards, as if he drowned in a spiral of thoughts automatically. There was something big keeping him at bay, day by day. Maybe even night by night. No matter what it was, it was obviously something personal, something too big to be forgotten. Something that mattered more than reality. If Daniel were to guess, he would say it was something that was long gone. Therefore, no matter how hard he tried to keep up a conversation, William would always fall back into this vacuum, which he could only imagine as an endless, silent, isolated corridor with no light at the end.

 

The change of volume dragged Daniel out of his train of thought. The bars on the bottom of the TV‘s display became more and more as William, now lying on the bed, turned the sound up. Daniel covered one of his ears and narrowed his eyes in slight pain, but the blonde let the volume drop soon again. He could now hear the cause: Sounds of sex from the other room. To be honest, he had expected this to happen, this was a hotel after all and the walls were as thin as paper.

Daniel brought a hand to his face and rubbed over his eyes, then drove his fingers through his hair. A bit of rainwater stuck to his hand, which reminded him that he too had walked in the rain earlier. Seeing as William was fighting with both, holding his anger in about the couple having sex in the other room and struggling with his drunken state, Daniel decided to give him some time to calm down a little. „I am going to take a shower briefly,“ he told him. „Maybe you should turn the volume up just a little and try to sleep. You look like the type to fall asleep in front of the TV.“ To lift the mood a little, Daniel flashed the security guard an encouraging smile along with his statement and then vanished into the bathroom. The moment he closed the door behind himself, he finally took a deep breath. The room was tight; the old-fashioned, small bathtub-shower just so fit in between the toilette and the washing basin. The mirror above the latter was cracked on the side and pretty dirty. There was a wooden table with toilet paper and towels in the corner, leaving just enough space for taking three or four steps into the room.

Daniel took off his clothes and stepped into the bathtub, ignoring the fact that it might have needed a bit of cleaning. He pulled the curtain close, turned water on, waited for it to be half-way warm and cleaned himself of any rainwater remains. The tickling of the water on his skin made him feel somewhat better, although he hadn‘t even known that he was feeling a little down. Usually he wasn‘t easily taken aback by anything or anyone, but right now, there was an unexplainable pressure in his chest.

Daniel eventually blamed the change of weather for his discomfort. He turned off the water, dried himself off and put his clothes back on. There was no hair brush in here, so he sort of combed his wet hair with his fingers, before he left the bathroom again and skipped over to the left side of the bed. Sitting down and pulling his legs up, he stretched his arms into the air, arching his back like a cat. Fatigue was slowly pulling on him, so he guessed that the night would soon come to an end. Then again, the sun usually arose quite late. In this moment, he didn't even know the date. What month was it? Summer time and winter time hardly differentated, therefore it was hard to keep up with the dates.

 

Emerald eyes wandered back to the TV as he rested back against the bed's head, one arm behind his head for comfort. "One of my friends liked bears, not specifically polar bears, but bears in general. It went to the point where she was obsessed with them and went camping a lot. Her parents were really worried for her healt, should she meet an actual bear, because that was her goal, I tell you. She was serious." He couldn't help but chuckle at the memories. "So, one time she took me with her camping. We had someone with us to protect us, but she didn't care anyway. She made me wander the forest endlessly until we finally came across a river with a bear sitting by its side, watching four little baby bears. Monique was so happy that she stepped forward, pretty close to them, and the mother bear looked quite angry, but what was surprising in the end was that she could more or less sooth the bear. I don't know 'till today how and where she had learned that, but she made some weird movements with her limbs and fingers and eventually she even gave some food to the bears. She got to hold and pet one of the babdy too. Weirdest and best night, I swear. Was one of the few moments I saw her truly happy." He pushed himself away from the bed's head again to sit cross-legged, both hands rested on one foot. "Have you ever done something you really wanted?"

[-Hideki-]

Rex was so close to smashing his fist against the wall behind the bed, hammering onto it telling those shameless insolent scumbags to shut the fuck up and to quit the filthy acting and talking in the other room, that sex was a private thing that had to stay in private and wasn’t supposed to be done where other people got affected by it when the voice of the brunette male in their room threw him out of the battle he fought with himself to keep himself from punching a hole into the wall. It turned out not to be important after all since the man merely told him that he’d take a shower, as if Rex’d care, suggesting the blond security guard to maybe try to sleep a little.

 

To that the former Major General only mumbled something about his work time not being over and what the hell he was thinking of him suggesting him to fall asleep during his shift while he was actually asking himself how he looked like someone to fall asleep in front of the TV to the other because he actually did that. Rex fell asleep in front of the TV. He barely ever slept in his bed. The quiet made his thoughts circle and run wild, his memories keeping him awake so the TV was a welcome distraction that allowed him to actually fall asleep. However how could that whore know? Aside from that he really hoped that no one had a picture of him on mind how he actually fell asleep in front of his TV. A bottle of liquor on the coffee table, food all over him and the blabbering of the news and the journalists and reporters he had yelled at before he had been too tired. It certainly wasn’t a dignified sight, not the sight of a proud existence, it was the opposite.

 

When Daniel was in the bathroom and he heard the rushing of the shower he was trying hard to focus on the documentary again and to ignore the rage inside of him that was dangerously boiling as the couple in the other room was apparently not done as they were doing some kinky perverted stuff over there. Rex had not always been that furious, he had not always been that angry. Sure he had never been socialable or communicative but he had been a calm, calculative man, it had been extremely difficult to get him worked up, it had been almost impossible and now... now that anger was constant, constant under the surface and it only needed a small spark to be lit on fire and explode.

 

While watching the polar bears had a slight calming effect, the high pitched women moans grossed him out while the noises of the man reminded him of how he hadn’t had sex in ages. Of what a disaster it had been when he had tried to hook-up and how his last drunken fap a week or two ago in the bathroom had ended with him punching his fist into the mirror feeling worse than before he had touched himself. His blue eyes went to the bathroom door for a second and for the blink of a moment he was thinking of the other man under the shower before the noise of the water was shut down and he had liked to knock himself unconscious for even imagining this because it was completely stupid.

 

A moment later the man stepped back into the room, the same clothing on but his brown hair drenched now and Rex followed Daniel with his eyes as he was getting settled on the bed next to him. And just when the security guard had turned his head back to the TV and the polar bears the other was starting to talk again. The blond learned that the man had had a female friend named Monique and that said Monique had been obsessed with bears and Daniel told him how she had gone out with him to find some bears, how her parents had been worried and he could detect some parallels between that Monique girl’s fascination for bears and his for storms.

 

“I was bear hunting a few times with my dad and the neighbour.” He told the other, remembering how they had travelled into the wilderness and another state just for that, together with his hunting dog Baxter. Baxter had been his second hunting dog. Rex had had another hunting dog as a young boy named Lucky. Lucky however hadn’t had much luck since he had been hit by a car at two years of age and his injuries had been too severe to safe him. The blond man who had been eight years old back then had started to cry over the wounded puppy and when his dad had seen it he had slapped him hard, telling him how he dishonoured himself crying, how it was weak and disgraceful, that he didn’t want to see this ever again and that he should free the dog from his suffering, pressing a gun into his hand. Eight years old Rex had not wanted to shoot Lucky dead but his father had made him do it anyway. And when a few years later his younger sister’s rabbit had died and Rex had told her she was a dishonour, slapping her face and telling her to stop crying, he had been shouted at by both of his parents for doing that, being told that he should show a little compassion for his sister, what was wrong with him to hit her and he saw his sister getting consoled by his parents. It had confused him to the core back then.

 

“They can be dangerous for an untrained person.” The man admitted talking further about the bears and his eyes narrowed somewhat. “But compared to people bears are harmless.” The man added seriously. And it was true. He had never seen a bear putting its kid into an explosive vest making it run into a crowded place and using the own offspring as a bomb to kill people. He however had seen people do it.... way too often.

 

When the other man told him how great of a day the experience with the bears had turned out to be there was a small smile playing around his lips, softening the hard features of his stoic face a little for a moment. “I like extreme weather.” He answered upon being asked whether he had done something he had wanted. “I used to go to where storms and tornados occurred and took pictures of them.” Rex told him but his face soon turned melancholic. “I always used to travel there with him...” the man said and that face flashed up before his eyes again. That smile, those eyes, the wind and rain messing with his short hair that Rex couldn’t say whether it was caramel blond or brown. “...Sebastian...” he mumbled quietly not even realising how much information he had just given the other about himself without thinking due to how drunk he was, one of it being that he was gay. But being bold enough to kiss Sebastian back in military school had been one of the things he had wanted to do and he had been most glad he had done. There were a lot of things that concerned his love and relationship that he was happy he had done but especially in the last years of it there had been other things he regretted, he felt bad about, even guilty for not doing and for what type of priorities he had had.

 

The blond closed his eyes shaking it off. “Is there anything that you like, that interests you, that fascinates you? That you wanted to do?” he asked. “Or are you merely a passenger, carried along by other people like that Monique you talked about?” he was curious.

[♠[Rin]♠]

„Well, animals don‘t really understand the concept of feelings“, Daniel commented. „Humans do, so it‘s easier to hurt someone on the inside on purpose.“

Bears were dangerous for untrained people, William said, and Daniel shrugged with a smile. „It‘s said that animals know it when you are fearless. I don‘t recommend petting a wild lion, though.“ He looked down to the bed sheets and started fondling with the blanket. „It‘s quite nice to hear your stories sometimes, because I‘ve never done all those things. I like learning what other people experienced in their lives so far.“

When it came up that William liked extreme weather, the brunette chuckled. „I figured when you bascially leaned out into the storm.“ However, he also revealed that he had had a male life partner. It wasn‘t clear whether they had simply broken up or whether something had happened to ‚Sebastian‘, but the wound was still pretty deep, even though it had to have happened several years ago. Daniel guessed that carrying sorrow was easier when you didn‘t let anybody in your life afterwards, which the blonde seemed to like to do. Keep everyone else outside. He hated everything about his situation, that was clear as ice, but it wasn‘t healthy for his mentality either. Maybe he had stopped caring a long time ago though.

 

„Hm? Oh.“ Pulled out of his train of thoughts by William‘s question, it took Daniel a second to think about it. „It‘s kinda both“, he answered truthfully then. „I‘ve seen most things because my friends dragged me outside, but what fascinates me are people themselves, that‘s why I never minded. I like studying others‘ behaviour, personality, habits, et cetera. It sounds a little creepy when said out loud.“ The prostitute‘s gaze skipped back to the TV, where the documentation was coming to its end, showing a video of a polar bear walking around in the snow while the credits started slowly rolling up. Daniel leaned over and took the remote. „It‘s early in the morning, maybe they‘ve got some old horror movies on.“ He clicked through the channels, humming. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing… It took him a few mintues to find something acceptable, which turned out not to be horror and not so old either, but at least some kind of psycho-thriller: Shutter Island. It was already 30 minutes into the story.

 

„Do you only watch documentaries? Or is it more of a ‚I don‘t want to get angry at other people talking trash‘ thing?“ Daniel asked while he set the remote down and grabbed his pillow, which he positioned on the foot of the bed so that he could lay down on his belly and rest his upper body on the comfortable item. He looked back to William. „No offense, I am just curious.“

[-Hideki-]

His right eyebrow shot up when Daniel’s expertise in return to him saying that humans were much more dangerous than bears was to inform him that animals didn’t have a concept of feelings and that thus, humans tended to have an easier time to and act with the intention to deliberately hurt someone on the inside aka their feelings. This answer couldn’t have been further from what the ex-soldier had had on his mind, what he had been thinking about. Daniel was thinking about trivial bullshit, of hurt fee-fees between some people while Rex was thinking of the intention and the will to destroy and to slaughter members of the own species because they didn’t live according to ones disgusting barbaric ideology and to be indoctrinated enough to believe those atrocities were just and morale. He was thinking about the sickest, most morbid shit one could. About brain and bones being blown all over the place, people screaming and crying in pain, blood everywhere, stumbling over or slipping on someone’s intestines that had oozed out of an open stomach all in the name of an insane ideology. That was what he had been talking about and this guy was thinking about hurt feelings.

 

It demonstrated to him that he knew shit! Knew shit about life! Knew shit about what people were actually capable of! But how was he supposed to be aware! This whore may have fallen low but he still had been a spoiled little brat who had gotten money thrown at him in masses for not doing anything of value. To partake in national dulling! To distract the people from the very things that Rex knew and that Rex had seen, that Rex had witnessed, that Rex had fought against to protect them from to ensure their freedom, to make them further indulge in their illusions. To shield them from the reality that safety didn’t exist! The fact that the other man found himself smart when he had said that was rubbing him the wrong way, even the idea that animals had no feelings or that they were unaware of their feelings was, well, debatable or at least uncertain. “Impressive. Did you learn that at some good-for-nothing school for uselessness and national dulling?” he remarked with a snort, his voice dripping with sarcasm and cynicism. “You have no idea what I’m talking about little superstar!” he mocked although his mockery was rather unfair as the other couldn’t know with whom he was dealing and hence the context wasn’t as likely as if he had known that Hutson had been a soldier and not some security guy for different kind of nightclubs named William Brix as the former major general pretended.

 

Rex looked at the man when he chuckled after he had answered the question about what fascinated him with liking extreme weather, saying that he had figured he did when he had leaned himself out into the storm to take some pictures of it. Rex made a growling sound and nodded his head and as he looked at that man he realised that he had a nice smile and he wanted to punch himself yet another time. Something had to be seriously wrong with him that night that he could see anything appealing in that whore. He was a whore! The most despicable one in the brothel on top of that! Whores didn’t have nice smiles! They were whores! He tried to shove those intrusive thoughts about this man away though and got his phone from the bedside cabinet. “Wanna see the pictures?” he asked but he didn’t wait for an answer but showed the brunette the pictures he had just taken anyway and when he was taking the phone one could see a smiling man who was apparently flirting with the camera as the background picture. His short hair was a little messy, he had brown eyes and freckles on his pale skin and he was wearing a uniform, the uniform of a lieutenant. That was Sebastian.

 

What he learned about the other by the questions he had asked him was that he actually was someone who went with the flow, whom let others drag him along and that was another thing he didn’t like. He liked personalities that were autarkic and authentic. His negative feeling about this changed somewhat though when the other man told him that this was the case because he was fascinated by the people themselves. “What is that fascinating about learning those things about people?” the soldier genuinely wanted to know. If there had been something that had not fascinated but more often than not weirded him out or repulsed him it had been people. And after all that he had seen fascinating was not a word he’d describe their species with. To him being fascinated by people was like being fascinated by morbidity. “And if you’re so interested in studying them, doesn’t it only make you hate them?” he asked and he had always wanted to know how one could analyse the human species and still be fond of them at the same time. It was something that he deemed impossible. If he was a psychologist or an anthropologist - well he wouldn’t be because he had never been a people’s person, he had liked to learn how to deconstruct weapons or tanks and to put them back together again a lot more than he had liked to spend time with most of his peers as a teen with the exception of this one person – but hypothetically speaking he’d become a misanthrope, then again he probably already was misanthropic to a degree.

 

There was a disapproving glare in his blue eyes and he crossed his arms in front of his bare, strong chest when the shorter man grabbed the remote and changed the program to some brainless shit. His right eyebrow was twitching as the movie was playing and he had to listen to those badly written dialogues. It was with a screwed up nose that he turned towards the other man when he asked him if he only watched documentaries. “I watch documentaries and the news.” He answered. “I don’t watch fiction. Don’t see the appeal nor the point.” Rex stated. “Take this piece of garbage right there. Why would anyone watch that? This is not happening now, it didn’t happen in the past, it won’t in the future and when you’ve watched it all you’ve done is wasting your time. You haven’t learned anything about the world in the present or the past, you haven’t gained anything from it. You’ve just thrown time into the rubbish bin and let yourself be sedated and distracted from what actually matters. Just like they want you to be. Guidable, easily impressed, uneducated and ill informed sheep who consume and will do what they want at the voting box.” The blond said and rolled his eyes in pure annoyance at a high-pitched scream of some cunt on TV. This was too much! He wasn’t up for that dumb high-pitched squealing that hurt his ears and irritated him, hence he pulled the remote out of Daniels hands with ease. “That’s why we’re not watching that trash. You can do that in your room alone little popstar!” the man remarked and turned back to the documentary channel where they were now showing something about ancient Roman architecture. “Why would you want to watch that movie anyway? You learn nothing and it’s not even nice or relaxing to watch?” Rex wanted to know. Sebastian had like to watch some Comedy, Rex had found that dumb too but the other man had told him that he just liked to see something that was funny and nice and escape to a fantasy because this just lightened up his mood and the former major general had actually managed to understand that, plus, it had been Sebastian and he’d never have pulled the remote away from him. He’d have watched anything with this man because he had loved him.

[♠[Rin]♠]

Daniel didn‘t really look affected by the harsh words of the guard. He seemed to take them in and think about them first, before he answered. „Even though you are being sarcastic, the answer is no. I just like to avoid thinking about damage beyond my imagination. All the things I‘ve read about war, torture, white torture, all the things I‘ve seen in museums and documentaries and all the things that exist on the Darkweb - they make me sad. Don‘t get me wrong, I‘ve only seen two corpses in my life and that wasn‘t on any battlefield, but I wouldn‘t want that anyway.“ He clicked his tongue as he was called a superstar, though grinned a little because he really wasn‘t offended by the mockery. „My brother was a soldier. Not for a long time, but he was. After the priest who had been with them died of a heart attack, he started to write certain traumatic experiences down in the letters he sent to me instead. Trauma is of course subjective and every other soldier has a different tolerance, but it was still pretty rough to him.“

 

William asked if he‘d like to see a few of the storm photos and Daniel didn‘t even get a chance to answer. However, seeing as it was the guard‘s passion, why the hell not? Everyone deserved to have something that made them happy. Daniel sat up and leaned a little in to study the photos on the phone. A man wearing a specific uniform and badge was standing in the middle of the storm. With a smile on his face he looked amiable and kind, probably a really good man. „They are really good,“ he said. William probably didn‘t even care for feedback, but at this point, whatever. „You have an eye for this.“ Though, it still somehow made him sorrowful. Something told him that this Sebastian wasn‘t alive anymore, and even though he couldn‘t know what had happened, he at least wanted to be genuine with the blonde. Daniel turned his head to look into the guard‘s blue irids. „I am so sorry for your loss.“ There was sympathy in his voice, but there was also encouragement shining in his emerald eyes. Maybe William didn‘t want to move on, which was okay and his own choice.

 

„It‘s a little hard to explain“, Daniel then said, being asked what was fascinating about the human species. „I see people like little clocks. On the inside, the cogwheels have to mesh so they function as a person. Now, every person‘s inside is different. I am not really talking about minor differences but major ones. A narcist and a depressed person. An altruist and an utilitarian. A murderer and a person who can‘t even bare to see a little bit of blood. Humans tend to fix themselves if needed, so if you take a little from them, they will work against it and come up with something that completes them. To see into someone‘s eyes and learning how they function is fascinating, because whatever you do, humans will always waver between cultural and social manners and their natural habits and instincts. Pushing someone towards the edge makes them respond violently with the purest action, completely unfiltered. But then there is a small amount of people who are calm, collected, and know exactly what they are doing at all times. Those are the ones who get away with murdering around thirty people.“ The next question didn‘t surrpise him that much. It was something he had heard a few times in the past when he had had to explain why his shelves were full of psychiatry books. „I‘m gonna be honest with you. Yes, it does, to a certain amount. I‘ve had insight into human nature as a child already. But I still don‘t think that other ordinary people deserve to have it worse than me. I don‘t wish innocent people bad things, and much less if I don‘t know them.“

 

William revealed that he watched documentaries and the news, and it didn‘t take him very long to start complaining. Before Daniel knew it, the remote was fetched out of his hand. „Unfair!“ he sighed, sitting up. The guard switched back to a documentary about ancient Roman architecture. „At least find a different one, William, I‘ve had that topic in school for an entire semester.“ He complained. He listened to the guard‘s little hate-speech with a half-heartedly sore expression. „You are just grumpy. That‘s all. And the alcohol is making it worse.“ It was a little scary how much the blonde could take. Sure, he was tall and trained and he had had years of drinking, but still.

„I watch horror movies because they aren‘t real, that‘s the reason“, Daniel said. „Things like ghosts or zombies will never happen. Demons don‘t exist either, at least as far as science knows.“ His lips curled into a warm smile. „It‘s relaxing to just break out of reality. Those stories push your adrenaline-level up, they are thrilling and more horrible and scarier than all you‘ve seen - and they don‘t exist! It makes life less scary, you know? After all the crimes that happen nightly, I feel a little more confident. And sometimes… the movies pretty funny. I think wasting my time is okay as long as it makes me personally feel … better.“

 

Daniel took the pillow in front of him into his arms, embracing it and then dropping backwards into the too soft matress, exhaling. His gaze moved up to the boringly white ceiling. He untensed his arms so the slid off to lay on the sides again, the pillow just resting on his chest. „I used to watch the stars when it would get late. But here, the sky is mostly clouded. It‘s a shame.“ His eyes rolled over to look up towards William. He watched him for a bit, as if he was trying to find something on him, before he opened his mouth again to speak. „Say, are there more things that make you smile?“ Seeing the other‘s lips curl had been a first tonight after knowing him for so long already. It looked good on him, really. Smiling suited him. It softened his features and, even though Daniel found William‘s eyes beautiful as they were, it gave them something to make them even more astonishing.

[-Hideki-]

Rex looked at the man when he responded to his mockery seriously without actually taking offense by the way the blond male acted and he learned that the other liked to ignore things that were too gruesome, too horrendous to think about because they’d result in sadness.

To him shielding oneself from something like that, to avoid paying attention to it or to look the other way because one didn’t want to think about the reality of things and what was going on was pure cowardice but at the same time Daniel saying that it made him sad was making the ex-soldier think. Did it make him sad too? The answer was plain no. For many years he had gone numb in order to function when everything around him was falling into pieces and all one could see was suffering and death. However there had always been an underlying anger and now thinking about such things made him furious. The thing was, every single negative emotion Rex felt was immediately converted into anger even when it originally had been something else he had felt. It was impossible for him to tell what he was feeling beneath the anger, what emotion caused the anger because he couldn’t accept feelings such as sadness and mostly felt a major disconnect to his feelings as he had not allowed himself to feel them while he had allowed himself to be angry, hence, anger had become his one size fits all emotion.

 

Hearing the other man announce that his brother had been a soldier for a short period of time in a way that made it seem as if that fact made him an expert or gave him any credibility was laughable to the former major general and he snorted disdainfully. “Impressive! You know someone who contributed to society in a useful and honourable way.” He mocked again. “That certainly makes you really knowledgeable and aware. Because your brother served the nation when you were entertaining teenaged girls, planting useless garbage into their minds before getting wasted on brainless parties. It must have been so very tough for you.” He continued. “Spare me your pathetic attempts to make yourself look better through the life experiences of someone else.” The security guard just said staring at the TV screen.

 

 

Nodding he kept scrolling to get to the photos he had just taken from outside of the window when the brunette had told him that he had an eye for this. When the voice of the prostitute sounded again though his finger stopped and his face froze. ‘I am sorry for your loss’ were the words said and there were those black claws again squashing his heart so it couldn’t beat, choking him making him unable to breath, his blue eyes glued to the picture that he had scrolled to, a sunburned, smiling Sebastian in a muscle shirt and military fatigues in a sandstorm. It was so painful, physically painful, that he felt as if the other had just barehanded ripped out his lungs. All those pictures flooding him, the happy memories, all their first times, all their lovely moments, some of their fights and their making up only to result in one final picture, a badly tortured, distorted body with open, empty brown eyes lying in a puddle of its own blood on the floor where Rex had found him. It was as if he was feeling it all again, he could hear his own screams in his head, he could feel the coldness of the dead body of the man he had loved more than his own life, he could feel the blood drenching his trousers, the desperation, his heart being torn as he was touching the cold skin, the denial, the begging for the man to say something, it was as if he was there and not on a bed in a hotel room and his body was so tense that it was shaking.

 

It took a while but when he was realising this he was getting up immediately, knowing that this was something that no one shall see, a moment no one else should witness him in, storming to the bathroom with an ‘Excuse me’ slamming the door shut behind himself, letting himself sink down on the other side, burring his face in his hands. Rex had seen the worst things, he had seen disfigured, tortured corpses like those many times, he had seen disembodied parts he had seen all different kinds of atrocities and he had gotten over all of them, they had not deeply scarred him but this moment, to find Sebastian, the man he loved, like this had crippled him! It had messed him up! He had not been able to get over it. It had been so disturbing, so devastating and he had not been able to move either. He had not even wanted to let go of his dead boyfriend when a comrade of his had found him like that and it had changed him in multiple ways. It had been when his calm, calculative self had been history and he had started to have strong repetitive feelings of vigilantism and revenge as well as a manifested hate. When his idea of justice and how it shall be delivered had changed forever. When he had started to feel that an eye for an eye could only ever be the reasonable answer to something like that!

 

And Rex had not only taken revenge for Sebastian, his whole judgements of situations and the appropriate solutions to them had changed, had become radical and merciless. Until he had been dishonourably discharged and deep inside, although he might not agree with it on a personal standpoint, he knew that they had been right to discharge him judging by the rules, that they could not have kept him. Knew that he had been lucky that a friend of his father’s had been the judge of the military court and had decided to let most of the accusations against him fall and get him out of the Army by judging him for ‘abuse of power’ because he had had a sexual relationship with an inferior, who had been Sebastian, and not for ‘abuse of power’ because of the other things they had against him but at the same time this had only infuriated him more that his love had had to be the reason again but this was the only reason the only thing that had happened to Rex as a consequence was a dishonourable discharge and nothing else.

 

His father himself had never known the reason as to why he had gotten a discharge and he had not cared. He had disinherited him straight away and had not wanted to hear anything more from him feeling dishonoured by this son being discharged. There were many things his parent’s hadn’t known about him. That he was gay was one of those things. Sebastian had been out to his parents ever since they had been teenagers and he had wanted Rex to tell his parents that they had been a couple as well. The subject had come up every once in a while but the blond man had declined that all the time. He had been too much of a coward. His parents were archconservative, his father had always taken a stand against homosexual men in the Army and when Rex had been a teen he had seen his parents in front of the TV talking about ‘those perverts’ or ‘degenerates’ and that they didn’t care what those ‘queers’ did in their bedrooms but that they didn’t want them to show themselves as couples in public his mother expressing how kids seeing something like that was harmful and might make them get the wrong idea. It had been hurtful to him to hear his parents talk like that, it had made him feel shame for who he was and he had never wanted to tell them because the idea that his parents would think about him as a pervert in a manner they had spoken about homosexual men in general had been unbearable to him.

 

Denying the man he loved more than everything had been awful too though and it had resulted in Sebastian announcing that if it was to become legal to marry for gay men in their state that he’d want to marry and that Rex would have to decide between claiming their love or letting his parents illusion stay intact. Rex had shoved it away because it had not been urgent and he had not seen marriage equality becoming a thing for them soon, had even wished it would not happen so soon that he didn’t have to face this and when it had happened Sebastian had been dead. And when Rex had heard it he had fallen into despair, overwhelmed by guilt, regret and shame for what he had been thinking, for not claiming their love openly. Feeling sick of himself for having wished that it wouldn’t become legal because he had been too much of a coward. He had drunken himself senseless and had hung over the toilet throwing up the whole night while the LGBT community had been celebrating.

 

As soon as his body was stopping its intense reactions and he was calming back down again the man rose from the ground and threw cold water into his face, looking into the mirror, turning his face away from himself quickly before he went back into the room and sat down on the bed as if nothing had just happened, looking at the TV, peering over to Daniel from the side, then back to the TV, back to Daniel, TV, Daniel, TV, Daniel until he finally said something, deep and a lot quieter than usually. “You’re gay” he started. “… too….” He added struggling somewhat, “Right?” he asked. “Or is it just for pay?” he wanted to know. “If you’re genuinely gay… do your parents know? How did you tell them and what did they say if you told them?”

 

Talking about what the other found so fascinating about people made Rex realise that although the man tended to seem genuinely curious to learn about different individuals his thinking was rather black and white, rather categorising in a sense and thus the soldier felt, not in accord with the reality of most people. “A narcissist can be a depressed person at the same time.” The soldier just said hoping the man would realise what he was trying to tell him by that. A person could be cruel and murder people without blinking an eye but sweet and loving to and unable to hurt someone else or see that specific person in pain or bleeding. Listening further to what the other man had to say made the former major general feel uncomfortable and he couldn’t tell where the discomfort was coming from but it was certainly there. Maybe it was because the man was now saying all those things after claiming he could look someone in the eyes and see how they were functioning, that although it was clear to him that he couldn’t, that it was making him feel uneasy. At the mentioning of innocence though he laughed cynically. “Innocent!” he repeated. “Tell me, what is innocence? Who is innocent? Is there something like innocence? Can any person in this world rise to adulthood unstained?” Rex wanted to know. He didn’t believe in true innocence. Innocence according to the law, yes, innocence in nature of the being, no!

 

A snort came from him at the complaint of the man after he had taken the remote control from him and had turned back to the documentary channel, calling it unfair. “There is nothing unfair about it. I pay for the room, I watch what I want. Stop complaining.” He said but the other continued and complained about having had learned about Roman architecture in school and then told him why he liked to watch horror movies. “Scarier than all I’ve seen?” he shook his head. “Boosting your adrenaline level?” he snorted another time rubbing his eyes. “What a spoiled little rat indeed.” He commented. “If this is worse than you’ve ever seen and watching this fake shit is boosting your adrenaline level you must have never been in actual danger and you’ve certainly not seen much.” The blond laughed. The relaxing and making one feel better argument he knew, he knew from Sebastian but in Sebastian’s case, with those light hearted, funny, comedy shows it had made actual sense. This however didn’t. “What are you? Do you have sadistic tendencies or what makes you feel better about seeing fake people suffer in a fake world?” he wanted to know looking at the other in disbelief. “Fair enough though, I can turn something else on.” The security guard compromised and turned on the history channel. “Hey, look, that’s the shit for you? Must cause some really satisfying biochemical reactions in your brain and body now! It’s more gruesome than your shitty little movie. Does it make you feel better to see atrocities that actually happened as well or are you not quite as fucked up after all?” the soldier asked in a sarcastic tone of voice once more.

 

The documentary was playing and it was one Rex already knew, hence he turned around to the other when the man spoke, telling him that he used to look at the stars at night but that he couldn’t anymore because in their district the sky was mostly clouded. “It’s air pollution.” The solider answered drily. “The industry some blocks from here.” He added and shrugged. Then he felt the other man’s eyes on him, taking him in as though he was studying him and the blond raised his eyebrows sceptically and surprised when the other asked him if there were more things that made him smile. “No.” he answered. “There used to.” He added. “I don’t know.” He corrected. “None of your business.” He then said his usual line and looked away for a moment only to turn back to him again. “Why are you asking?” the security guard wanted to know.

[♠[Rin]♠]

The prostitute opened his mouth to respond, but he couldn‘t even think of a fitting answer. Had he sounded like he intended to make himself look better? „You know, so far I‘ve seen, you either mark something you‘ve heard as uninteresting or you tear it apart and violently pull out the most negative thing about it, then you throw it into the person‘s face. Then again, I‘ve noticed the paper crane in your jacket. Chen made it for you, didn‘t he? And even though you surely said No, you took it.“ He didn‘t think that William had been like this all his life. His view on the world was limited. „Are you doing that to push other people away? Do you think that people who haven‘t experienced the same or who aren‘t as tough as you are, are weak? That‘s not an offense or an accusation, I genuinly would like to know.“

 

After Daniel had expressed his sympathies, William excuse himself to the bathroom. The brunette‘s emerald eyes followed him intensly until the door was shut close. By now he was certain that William had not always been a security guard. For one, judging by the way he talked about, well, everything to be honest, he had seen things that a guard most likely wouldn‘t. There had to have been something else. Secondly, just by telling what Sebastian had worn on that one photo, it had to do with the army. At one point in William‘s - if that was his real name - life he had been part of the army. The question was, which rank? For how long? Daniel bet on a long time period, given that William was in his 40s and still had a strong connection to what had happened in the past.

His gaze wandered back to the window. The rain was still pelting against the glass. In the other room it had become noticeably quiet. A thunder roamed briefly, giving the atmosphere something thrilling for a second. A lightning followed a few moments after, creating abstract shadows on the curtains, until they slowly faded away again. It reminded him of the first time he had gone to a cinema with Monique. As soon as they had exited the building it had stormed outside just as heavily. Electricity had went out in a few parts of the village. It was raining so hard that it was hard to see the way, additionally they hadn‘t brought an umbrella, so they had been drenched within a minute. Back the, most of his home village‘s „streets“ had just been usual farm roads, covered with pebbles at some spots for walkers. Monique and him had gotten lost, as expected, until a police car had halted to help them out and bring them home securily. Yeah, when he thought about the things that happened to him when he was young, it was something to laugh at. Not everything, but at least most of it. William, on the other side, appeared to have had a rough upbringing instead. Daniel didn‘t feel comfortable in blaming his parents 100 per-cent, because he didn‘t know them. Sure, some people were just outrageous by nature, but judging an unknown person was unfair.

 

When William came back, Daniel looked up to watching him sit back down. His face was wet with water. He could imagine what had happened. „You know, I was serious when I said that if you need someone to talk, you can talk to me. It‘s not a must though. Only an offer. I won‘t touch you, I promise.“

Daniel looked a bit surprised when the guard asked him about his sexual orientation. It was a fair assumption that it was either homosexuality or that he did it for the money. „Yeah, I am gay.“ And even more surprising was the following questions. How his parents had taken it and if he had even come out? Now, Daniel saw that one. Twenty or so years ago homosexuality had been still an issue. If he wasn‘t mistaken then the newest generation was more or less fine with it. Society at least pretended to accept gays and lesbians and gay marriage was legal now too, so although many people still disliked it on the inside, the gays at least didn‘t experience as much hate as there once used to be. It was interesting how William‘s questions were mostly deep and simple, while Daniel himself liked to learn everything about the complex things other people knew or had experienced. Though, judging by the guard‘s tone, it appeared to be something he was really interested in. Maybe he himself had either never told his parents or they had reacted negatively to his coming out. „I told my Mom“, he said. „I didn‘t have a father. I was, uhm…“ He narrowed his eyebrows, looking to the side. „Either fifteen or sixteen.“ His gaze skipped back to the blonde. „My Mom owned a hotel, so we lived in there. Every time I would bring someone, she would know of course, and when I found out that I was gay, I knew that I couldn‘t keep it secret. I had a boyfriend at that time who didn‘t really care if anyone knew or not, but he had some problems at home, so we mostly met in the hotel I lived in. Now, my Mom wasn‘t stupid at all, I knew she‘d notice. Therefore, I told her one day. She wasn‘t so fond of it, to be honest. She was disappointed too. Ever since I was little, she had said that she really wanted grandkids one day. So, the response I got was ‚Just don‘t tell anybody‘. And so I didn‘t. When my career went uphill in the pop-industry, it became a complete taboo-topic, after all my fanbase consisted of girls to 94 per-cent. So, she knows it, but we never talked about it. She would just not comment on my love life, not ask any questions, et cetera.“ It wasn‘t the answer a kid would hope for, but it really could have been worse. „Do your parents know? Or your friends?“

 

When William said that a narcissist can be depressed too, Daniel gave him a heartly smile. „True. That‘s really fascinating, isn‘t it? It‘s always nice to meet someone who is diffetent than one self, because you can learn so much. Other people‘s experiences, point of views, cultures, everything. You get to see how the are, how they think, and their reasoning.“ He paused to listen, and then gestured to William with his hand. „See? ‚Innocence‘ is a very discussed topic, for example. Your opinion may be very different from mine, which is amazing, because I can learn why you think that way and extend my own thinking.“

 

William reacted to Danial‘s complaining with the argument that he had paid for the room. To that, the brunette couldn‘t really say anything. He just laughed lowly. „True, you are right.“ However, when the blonde changed the channel to a documentary about … what exactly was that? The brunette looked concerned at the TV as the narrator was telling horrendous stories. It didn‘t take long for William to provoke him more, and he turned to him to give him a questioning look. „Of course not. I said Horror, not crime, not thriller, not splatter. Horror. But like, the upper category, not the sub-categories. I once saw Gothic Horror, that was gross.“ He laid down, looking up to the ceiling. „To be honest, though, I see were you are coming from. But no, I don‘t like seeing people suffer.“

 

He asked William his question about what other things made him smile, and once again the blonde struggled between answers. It felt like he wasn‘t sure whether he wanted to deny the answer or actually answer honestly. Almost as if his true self was shining through the alchohol, but still oppressed by the strong walls he had built on the outside. Daniel paused for a moment, just staring into the blonde‘s eyes, before his gaze skipped back up to the ceiling. „Beause I like your smile. It makes me happy to see you happy.“ He let that sink in, before he couldn‘t resist chuckling. It was geuine, warm, heartily as he added a joke: „Did that sound gay?“ Because he meant what he had said, it had just sounded better in his head.