Ephemeral Blood ~ Sathenus & mik3la

[mik3la]

I'm not pushing you away...never again say that, he pulled his legs to his chest leaning his chin on his knees looking at the clear water. He just wasn't feeling like in a vacation anymore and all because of that stupid dream of his and the stupid choices he was making. i just .... don't know how to react right now...

 

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes for a few seconds then open them again. His emotions were starting to rumble his judgement again, turning all against himself. he wanted to go home.

[Sathenus]

Jonah kept his gaze averted when Sakura told him he wasn't pushing him away and not to say that again. If that was what he wanted to believe he wouldn't argue with him, but how he felt and the way the other was behaving made him see it differently. Medive seemed to be picking up on the fact that something was very clearly wrong with the pair because he was soon getting back up and packing the towels away including the one Jonah had been lying on after asking the other vampire to get up. When he was done he turned to Sakura and held his hand out to him so he could help him up and they could head back to camp.

 

The walk back was quiet for a few minutes before Medive decided to step in. This was after all his family and whether they liked it or not he was going to step in to mediate any feuds that may arise. "Alright you two, spit it out. We were having a great time and now you're both being depressing." His tone made it clear he knew something was up. "Don't tell me nothing either." This came out in a serious tone, almost demanding. This trip had been nice up until now and it felt like it was all falling apart. Well, he wasn't about to sit back and not do anything about that.

[mik3la]

heading back to camp was strangely awkward as all three of them kept it silent till Medive burst out and stopped them midway.

Sakura blinked a few times surprised by him then looked at Jonah for a few seconds and back at Medive lowering his gaze finding it difficult to hide it.

 

"It's nothing we cannot handle once we're home" he tried to mend the situation trying to smile slowly. "Really ... "

[Sathenus]

Medive rolled his eyes at the answer and turned his gaze to Jonah now waiting for his response. Jonah had met Sakura's gaze for a moment and even he didn't believe that this was something that would be fixed when they went home. "We'll fix things." Jonah replied his eyes moving up to Medive who still looked like he didn't believe either of them. It wasn't like he was hiding his feelings about that either. In fact, he was sure it was quite obvious that he wasn't falling for it for a moment and that he knew there was something deep going on here.

 

"Well suck it up. We aren't going home until morning so find a fix now." Medive replied. "We're not going to let this trip be ruined." He added. Medive wanted this to be a nice trip in the end. The last thing he wanted was for whatever had happened between them to ruin the whole trip.

[mik3la]

Taking a deep breath he nodded totally agreeing with Medive. He didn't want to ruin the trip more than he already had. Not saying another word he continued the walk to the camp packing his backpack.

"But where are we still going?" he asked curiously as he came out from the tent a little confused.

[Sathenus]

"We aren't going anywhere." Medive replied once both of them had returned from the tent with their backpacks. "You two are hiking to the top of the mountain where you're going to talk out whatever it is that's gotten into you both. You're not allowed to return until you've made up. Your bags have a change of clothes and a spare tent encase you end up having to spend the night there for being stubborn." Medive told the pair crossing his arms over his chest and looking between them almost like a disapproving father would a frown clearly on his face.

 

Jonah was surprised by the way Medive was taking this. "Wait... you're seriously going to make us sleep there if we don't work this out?" He asked as though that was absurd. The look Medive gave him though was a clear dare to return without the problem being fixed and find out what happens. It made his skin crawl and he didn't want to think about what the older vampire was willing to do if they didn't fix it.

 

"You don't have to repair it completely. But you need to get over it enough to where you can have fun together and not ruin this trip even more. When you've come to that point you're welcome to come back to camp and we can have a nice rest of the trip. At which point you can finish fixing whatever it is that got between you when we get home. Because you will not be allowed to leave the house without fixing it. We're a family. Act it."

[mik3la]

Sakura was confused when Medive said they were not going anywhere. then why did we had to pack our things?

The answered came right away making Sakura's eyes jump wide open not believing what the other was saying.

"You're joking right?" he started laughing finding it amusing but the look Medive was giving them was not saying he was kidding.

"You're serious" he stated in surprise looking at Jonah and back at him, not believing it. He wanted to protest looking at the long way to the mountain and the idea of staying there all day and night if it was necessary. That wasn't a problem. He could stay there with Jonah, the problem was that he wasn't sure if he could fix the rip between them that quickly.

 

He lowered his head feeling like a child being scolded by his father , not saying a word. "Alright" he said shortly settling his backpack on his back taking a deep breath. This was going to be a long day and night.

[Sathenus]

"Completely." Medive told Sakura after he had come to the conclusion that he was serious. "I love you both, but whatever has gotten between you has started to get between all of us. Now, I suggest you get going to have as much time to figure things out as possible. If you end up having to spend the night I'll retrieve you when it's time to go home." Medive told the pair before he was already pointing in the direction of the mountain pretty much telling them to get going.

 

Jonah sighed feeling like this was a stupid idea and that it was just going to end up causing them more problems in the long run. So he turned towards Sakura, "Let's go." He murmured before leading the way in the direction that Medive had pointed them so they could start the hike to the top and then start dealing with this. Even if it was in the end for no reason other than to get over this so they can go back. He didn't feel like they'd have it fixed by nightfall, maybe not even by morning.

 

The hike was a quiet one, he didn't say anything his eyes on where they were going. Occasionally he'd spare a glance towards Sakura before he was looking ahead of them again. Feeling deep down that it was odd that Medive was making them do this, but maybe he had a point in forcing them to do this at the same time.

[mik3la]

Like a kid that has been punished by their parents he turned and fallowed Jonah as he said to fallow him.

The hole hike was in a awkward silent, neither of them saying anything out loud nor thinking. He just didn't know what to do or say. He just walked till they reached the top mountain sitting on a rock admiring the view. It was very peaceful up there, but he was sure the peace will disappear once they would start talking.

 

"Are you going to talk to me?" he asked slowly looking at Jonah pleading. The silence treatment was killing him.

[Sathenus]

"Is there anything to talk about?" Jonah replied with a question of his own. While he thought that they should talk about things and get everything figured out he wasn't sure that Sakura was ready to talk. Feeling almost as though the other vampire would just try to avoid the real problem again. He moved to take a seat on another large rock glancing around them as silence seemed to fall again. While the view was beautiful he hated the reason why they were here. Medive was stubborn himself, so he should understand their issue and leave them be to figure it out on their own terms.

 

After a few more minutes he sighed and turned to face Sakura so that they could at least begin to work on their issue. "Lets just talk this out..." He murmured. "There's still plenty of time before the sun sets so we can figure this out enough for Medive not to be mad when we go back." Jonah added.

[mik3la]

Having him backfire him with another question made him leave his head down chewing on his lip. He deserved that. At least he could admit that. But what could he say or where could he start the whole thing. He couldn't explain why he was acting like that. Or why he would use them for sex.

He wanted to start talking multiple times but the silent remain there till Jonah decided to speak.

 

"Agree" he said taking a deep breath before speaking up.

 

"I know i've messed up. Big time. I....I never thought i was using you guys like that" he said avoiding his gaze. "Before i didn't had this problem. Yes i've liked sex but ... i never used it to forget things or just to take my mind from something. This just happened ever since .... ever since.... Micheals" he said blinking a few times.

[Sathenus]

Jonah sighed when Sakura started speaking explaining that he apparently hadn't thought he was using them like that and how he never had until Micheal. "You can't keep using Micheal as an excuse for your behavior, Sakura." Jonah said but his voice wasn't angry, it wasn't harsh or upset. His tone was soft making it clear he wanted to try to understand what was going on with Sakura but that he thought the excuse was just that, an excuse. A way of passing blame for his behavior onto someone else, and Jonah wasn't about to accept that.

 

"Look, I get that Micheal isn't your favorite person. He's not even the best person." Jonah started turning his head to the other their eyes locking. "But there is a deeper problem here. Even if that encounter with him was the start for this behavior it's not the reason it's continued. That's what we need to figure out and get to the bottom of. Especially if there is any chance of us fixing things." He added. They had to figure out what the real reason for this behavior was. What had made it take hold and continue.

 

"We love you, both of us do. But I can't sit by and let you keep doing this." Jonah added. He wanted Sakura to know he loved him, they both loved him but he wouldn't let him keep using them this way. Even if it meant he had to bring it to Medive's attention. Something he'd hate doing and knew would drive a huge rift between them all. It meant that they had to come up with a solution now. A healthier way for Sakura to cope and clear his mind, to get it off such things without sex.

[mik3la]

"I know ... there's something wrong with me .... i just ... cannot figure out what" he said closing his eyes hugging himself feeling hopeless not even him knowing what was actually going on with him. It was like he was becoming a different person and he just couldn't stop it.

 

"I love you too....both of you even... and i wouldn't want to lose you...."he said feeling tears forming in his eyes but he didn't want to cry. He didn't want to look so weak making Jonah even more upset, or even making him think he was using his tears to cope with everything and get away. That would never be the case.

 

"I feel like i'm becoming a different person...a person that i don't like alright... a person that would whatever the heck he likes to get what he wants" he said sitting up starting to walk around. "I felt that when you gave in to sex earlier. I gained what i wanted but at the same time it felt empty. I feel like i'm changing and the dream only made me feel worse. Like ... like i will actually going to change so much that i will hurt you no matter what... and i'm scared" he finally said it. "i'm scared of what i would do to you ... afraid of loosing you guys .... you are my everything....you are all that i have left" he covered his face feeling so pathetic at that point that it hurt.

 

"I hate this ... I hate how i'm feeling and what i'm doing to you" he took a deep breath holding his tears back a little bit more.

[Sathenus]

"So... you like the power you felt when you got what you wanted from me... but you felt empty because deep down that's not who you really are. You're not someone who demands things, who tries to conquer and get what he wants at all costs." Jonah said softly trying to understand that feeling. It was actually a pretty common vampire feeling though. Power was something the apex predator in them craved, it was only over time and with a lot of help that such an instinct could be toned down to an almost passive state. But one had to admit that was the problem and come to realize that they didn't actually want the power that instinct made them crave.

 

Shaking his head he knew there was still more to it though. While yes that could explain a bit of Sakura's behavior there was still more to the reason behind it and why he was acting the way he was. Being told that he felt like he was going to change so much that he'd hurt him no matter what and was afraid of what he would do to him made his frown return. Jonah didn't feel any fear when it came to Sakura, he didn't worry about his safety in the other vampire's presence. But... should he? He still didn't think so. "I'm not afraid of you Sakura, you don't make me worry about my safety you do the opposite. I feel safe around you, like nothing could hurt me." He admitted. "If you're afraid of behavior like that, or that you may hurt me or Medive then we need to figure out what's causing that feeling. Is it something we do that makes you feel that way? Is it a body gesture that sets that off? Was it the dream?" They had to get to the bottom of those feelings so he could help Sakura figure out how to control them.

 

Getting up he moved over to Sakura, grabbing the vampire's hand he slowly led him back to the large rock encouraging him to sit on it beside him still holding the other's hand. "We can fix this, Sakura. You just need to express these things to me before they start to cause a rift between us. I use our link to gauge your emotions, and to communicate in certain situations. I don't use it to pry and see what exactly you're thinking or to delve into thoughts, memories, dreams where I don't belong. I still need you to communicate things to me. Verbally. While our bond is strong and it's a nice way to communicate when needed or over large distances I still need and crave verbal communication from you."

[mik3la]

He looked at Jonah with teary eyes and fallowed him on the rock, sitting right next to him, looking at his hand holding his. It felt sweet and caring but the fear inside him was still there. It wasn't that they would fear of him, but he himself was fearing himself. The dream of his bloody hands appeared in his mind making him breath deep, closing his eyes for a few moments.

 

"Is not that you should fear me .... i fear myself ... Ever since i've became a vampire it has been fun, but along came all this changes. I tried to find something about my kind in the books from the library but everything was uncertain. Nothing concluded" he said lifting his eyes to him.

 

"I never wanted to use you or Medive. I love you guys too much to be that heartless. I just felt like, being with you guys that way it calms me. Like when you hold me in your arms. Either you or Medive or even both. It calms me pushing away all my worries. I was afraid and i wanted that comfort to calm myself as i knew you guys are giving me. If that was using then i'm sorry. I panicked. I don't know anything about myself anymore and it scares me" he said sobbing blinking a few times.

 

"I'll try to communicate with you more, verbally if that's what you like. I just found the link be a little more easier" he lowered his face letting the last teardrops fall. "And again, if i have upset you ... i am sorry"

[Sathenus]

"What were you expecting from becoming a vampire? Of course there are going to be all these changes." Jonah replied a little confused. "I told you that you were special... the jewel is normally fed from and killed after a keeper finishes absorbing the power that their blood gives. None have ever been turned into a vampire, not that anyone can remember." He added reminding Sakura that this wasn't something that happened.

 

"You being calmed by me holding you is different than using our sex to calm you. It's one thing if you approached us and asked us if we'd be willing to help you calm down that way, or distract you that way. But you don't ask... you practically demand. Approaching and in a sense seducing us into sex when you have an ulterior motive is what bothers me." Jonah admitted to Sakura. While he didn't see a problem in Sakura asking them for sex to help him calm down and distract him from his problems he had a problem with the other vampire seducing them into it without letting them know why he was suddenly initiating sex. Medive was none the wiser not having the connection to Sakura that he did, but that just made him think even more negatively on the action.

 

"While I agree that our link is an easier way to communicate it also leaves Medive out of our communications. It's not fair to keep him in the dark all the time. He genuinely thinks you want sex because you want him and is unaware that you wanted it to calm or distract yourself. That's the issue here." He said wanting to remind Sakura what had caused this whole problem in the first place. "It's one thing to use our bond to communicate in matters that should just concern us, this isn't one such matter though. This concerns him as much as me and so in such situations things need to be verbalized instead."

 

Reaching out he wiped the tears away as he shifted closer to Sakura. Moving to hold the other vampire's hand in his lap as he met the younger one's gaze. "We want to help you... to discuss your fears and worries about yourself and the future. We want to be able to offer you everything we can, not just our bodies. But we can't do that if you don't give us the chance to do so. Instead of seeking sex to distract yourself you should seek us to talk out what's bothering you. To get support." Jonah told Sakura in a loving manner. "Then... if sex is how we all agree to help make you feel better after talking things over at least it's a mutual decision and not one you made for us."

[mik3la]

"I understand" he said sobbing looking to the lower grounds calming himself. Thinking now all through he did realized that what he did was wrong and he should have said something. Now he was afraid to let Medive know the truth.

"If we tell Medive the truth it will hurt him to much. Is not that i didn't liked being with him in that way. I did, but i'm pretty sure he will overthink it and then he will do it every time" he sigh rubbing the back of his neck.

 

"Could we not tell him what had happened at the lake please? I promise if something happens again i'll talk with you guys about it" he said turning his face to Jonah hopping he would agree with it. He didn't want to hurt Medive.

[Sathenus]

Jonah really did feel bad that this was affecting Sakura in the way that it was, but he knew this whole conversation was necessary. It brought attention to something that Sakura probably wasn't aware of even doing. As Sakura started to speak about his fear of telling Medive what had happened at the lake he felt himself feeling even worse for the young vampire. Knowing full well that Sakura's fears were legitimate fears and that Medive would end up not trusting him and questioning any sexual encounters between them in the future if he was to discover what had happened.

 

"I think we can do that." Jonah said as he pulled Sakura into his lap now, arms wrapping around his waist. "Just this once... what he doesn't know won't hurt him." He added. Sakura was cutely saying that he promised if something happened again that he would talk to them about it next time. That made him all the more willing to promise such matters and keep this to just the two of them.

 

He was definitely going to hold SAkura to it though. Wanting to make sure that he really did stick to the promise and started to actually discuss things with them. "I love you Sakura... so much." Jonah said softly before he leaned down to kiss the other vampire. "I just want us to remain close... for our relationship to be what it was." He expressed. Jonah loved Sakura a lot, just like he loved and was bound to Medive. It meant that he craved for their relationship, especially their sexual relationship to remain what it had been. Remain special and not be turned into something else.

 

"When you're ready... we can go back to Medive. Or... we can stay here tonight. But he'll probably think we didn't figure things out if we don't return." Jonah said softly as he kept the younger vampire in his lap.

[mik3la]

Sakura was thankful that he was agreeing to keep it away from Medive. He didn't want the other to doubt himself every time he was going to approach him, question his intention.

He smiled as the other took him in his lap and hold him in his arms, leaning his head on his shoulder, keeping his eyes closed for a few moments.

 

"I love you too" he said looking up at him leaning in the kiss, happy that the other was not as upset as before with him. He did want everything to be like before. He didn't want things to change. He just felt a little overwhelm with all that he felt and dreamed and it has amplified it.

 

"I think we should head back. Don't want to worry Medive more than he already is" he said looking at the lower grounds from where they came and back at him.

[Sathenus]

Jonah was loving their little moment together, arms around the younger vampire and feeling Sakura's head resting on his shoulder as he leaned into him. It was perfect, this was what he missed, what he loved doing and how he was happy to comfort Sakura. When the other spoke saying that he loved him too it made his heart swell, even if it wasn't the first time Sakura said he loved him hearing it after they had been on less than good terms.

 

Being told that they should head back because he didn't want Medive to worry made sense. The older vampire had already been worrying about them, hence why he had sent them off to do this. Heading back was the only logical thing to do. Sighing softly he kissed the top of Sakura's head once more, "Okay... let's get ready to head back." It was clear by how his arms tightened holding Sakura tighter to him for a moment that he didn't really want to let him go yet.

 

After a few seconds his grip finally relaxed and he let Sakura slip out of his lap so they could gather their backpacks and start the trek back to Medive. At least when they got back they'd be able to tell Medive that they had done more than just fix it enough for the moment and that they had resolved the issue completely.

[mik3la]

Sakura nodded but he still didn't want to move yet. But after a few moments he did and got their stuff, returning to the camp where Medive was still waiting for them.

 

He was silent for the whole trip back abut they were holding hands so that was a good sing. He just hand to try and comunicate more with them and explain whenever he wasn't feeling alright. He was a new thing for them too, so he had to talk if they wanted to fix whatever was going on.

 

"We're back" he said smiling gently. "Sorry again for everything" he said to Medive, standing in front of him.

[Sathenus]

Medive looked up when the two vampires were entering camp a little surprised to see them back so soon. His arms crossed over his chest as he was watching the pair, though his eyes locked on Sakura when the vampire stood before him and said that he was sorry again for everything. "You don't need to be sorry. I just want everyone to get along." Medive replied not wanting Sakura to feel as though he owed him an apology. Clearly something had happened between the pair, he just wanted them both to get along so things could remain nice and calm between them all. The apologies had probably happened between the pair, which is where he felt that they belonged to begin with.

 

His eyes turned to Jonah who said they had talked it out and worked through the problem. This caused Medive to give them both a curious look as though he wasn't sure they would have been able to work through it completely so quickly. Maybe he was wrong though? There was no saying that the pair couldn't have worked it out quickly after all. "I'm glad. You two do seem to be more relaxed around each other again." He admitted after taking in how they were standing and the vibes they were giving off.

 

"We are!" Jonah replied with a smile. They really were more relaxed around each other again now that they had talked about what was bothering each other. His hand was still holding Sakura's, their fingers entwined. Medive did seem to be happy with the outcome and was soon suggesting they gather around the fire to enjoy their last night here before they returned home in the morning.

[mik3la]

As they sat around the fire he looked at them both. He was happy to have them in his life and all the support they were providing. But he wanted to know more about himself. And something was telling him, even if he didn't like the idea, that the guy they've meat before, Micheals, knew more than he wanted to let out.

 

"I was thinking ... Could it be possible that .... Micheals knows more about my kind than the books?" the question came out of nowhere but that was something he had thought since the guy seemed amused by his reactions before.

"He did kind of ... amused when he saw my reactions before" he said looking up at them both, feeling nervous. he didn't want to start an argument or anything and he knew that once they were home they would get busy with work and not have as much time together.

[Sathenus]

As they had gotten comfortable around the fire again and were enjoying each other's company Medive had relaxed back on the ground eyes shut when he heard Sakura ask if Micheal would know more about his kind, expressing that with how the vampire had found his reactions amusing before that maybe he did. It made his eyes open and he turned his head to look at the vampire seriously considering if he thought it was a good idea for him to see Micheal anytime soon even if the other vampire may know more about his kind. "He might." Medive admitted honestly.

 

Jonah didn't like the idea of the Sakura going to talk to Micheal, since he knew how the vampire responded to just a short time with him before. "Maybe after you finish getting your current work done... I can take you to talk to him?" Jonah offered not wanting Sakura to go alone. That and he kind of wanted to see how Micheal would respond to Sakura coming to him, if he expected it or not. Since he was due to return to the vampire himself it seemed logical he'd go with him. For support at the very least since he didn't want Sakura to face him alone.

[mik3la]

He smiled at the others responses. He was happy that they didn't got too angry for asking that. But he wasn't sure he was able to see him in person just yet. Nodding simply at Jonahs suggestion he smiled and continued.

 

"I was thinking you guys could ask him. Maybe he could help us with some information or some ... guidance of where we could look" he said knowing that being in the same room with the guy would make him feel the same rage as before and he didn't want to feel that ever again. "He is kind of old and ... i don't want to go there" he said taking a deep breath. "The guy just gives me a cold chill and makes my blood boil in rage" he said closing his eyes for a second shuddering at the memory.

 

"I don't know if i can control that again" he added opening his eyes looking at the fire.