18+ Glaciem Cordis

[yunake]

Summary: June has led an unhappy life but it will change with the come of his birthday along with a mysterious white haired boy.

Status: In Progress

 

Author's note: (Title translation: Heart of Ice)

 

Something I had on my mind for quite some time now. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying to write it!

[yunake]

Chapter I - Incipiens (New beginning)

 

I could feel a chill running down my spine... there was so much blood… I remember hearing someone calling my name through the pool of red… but I was already falling, falling to darkness beyond imagination… yet, somewhere, there was a light, a soothing, comforting light… however, when I reached for it, I ended up with my arm outstretched towards the ceiling, clearly feeling my body comfortably lying in bed. It was just a dream…

 

Trying to get rid of the bad feeling I had since I woke up, I tried to concentrate on class, even though the Professor’s voice was sounding more like mumbling to my ears than anything else. I looked discreetly outside the window, trying to ease my mind a bit. If only I could figure out what it had all been about…

 

“Jun! If you continue staring anywhere but at the board, Professor Hillster will arrange you a trip to the Office!”, I could hear the whisper from the desk next to mine, which stole me away from my musings.

 

“Thank you, Pam. What would I do without you.” I promptly answered, knowing all too well she was expecting it.

“You wouldn’t last long, I’d wager. Geez, you’ve been spacing out quite often these past few days, what’s gotten into you?”,she asked, her expression not too friendly.

 

What could I tell her? As ridiculous as it was, the dream that had been repeating itself every once in a while didn’t have much to say about it. It was always so blurry, a vivid shade of red in the entire blur, where I could clearly discern the presence of blood. Was it mine? How should I know!

 

“It’s nothing, I’m just feeling tired”, I lied, trying to avoid an answer that would rouse more questions.

“I don’t buy that. You know perfectly well that lying has never been your forte, so please, put your efforts into something more useful. Like telling me truth.”, she snorted.

 

Suddenly, the bell rang and I could hear everyone rushing outside. Classes were over for the day.

“Thank god for small favours…”, I muttered under my breath, while making my way with as much haste as I could possibly manage.

 

When I reached the front door of the house, I could hear cursing and ranting on the other side.

“Mother...”, I whispered softly.

[yunake]

For as long as I could remember, she’d always been like that. Even though my aunt said this started after the deaths of my siblings, I was not able to remember the sweet lady described in her stories. My aunt used to visit regularly, putting me “up to date”, as she used to say, with all of my family history. She said I had a brother and a sister, whose names were Peter and Marybelle. The story starts with the birth of my mother to a poor family. She was hardworking and a woman of big success in her career, contrary to her other five siblings, with the exception of my aunt perhaps. My mother made her life as a hairdresser, which led her to work in France, where she fared way better than anyone had anticipated.

 

Soon after, she met my father, a man that barely had anything to eat. She had seen him on the street just in front of her apartment building. Like a beggar, he’d walk up to people and ask for money. My mother took pity in him and got him shelter. What first had been pity grew into attraction as my father proved himself a man capable of hard work. He’d help her in the salon, cleaning it every day. He’d earn from what she earned, he’d share her house and her meals. It wasn’t long until a child came from their attachment. Marybelle, my mother named the child, a girl with honey curls and pretty big brown eyes, that ended up dying with a knife across her stomach.

 

With such a beautiful child and a charming partner, my father got himself quite the popularity. It got him a job in Rome, so he convinced my mother to move there. It was there that a new child came to existence. Peter was he named, after the Saint Peter’s Basilica. Anyone would say this couple had all they could wish for: two beautiful children, success in their careers and a life of luxuries. Peter grew to be a soldier. He had the same honey-coloured hair as his sister and bright green eyes. Seeing that they had enough money to get themselves a place to grow old together, they moved to a quiet place near Armagh, in Ireland.

 

Everything went downhill from there, so to speak. First, I was born and, for lack of creativity, they named me June, more of a girl’s name than anything else, because I was born precisely in that month; the first of June, to be accurate. Now, it should have been a big day, the birth of a new child, but things had gone quite on the bad side and in the end my mother could not use her right arm anymore. Following that was the death of my brother in the war. Next was my sister’s suicide. And to mount it all up, my father left for a Chinese girl, who used to run the shop down the street, taking all the money with him, never to be seen again. By the end of these tragic events, my mother was left with almost nothing - no job, no money and a two-year-old baby.

 

Quick enough, she succumbed to the growing madness inside of her. She’d rage about, destroying most of the house, like a wounded beast. She’d never touch the nursery where I slept, was what my aunt told me. She came to visit quite often, to keep her sister at a minimum of sanity. Aunt Leila was as close to a mother as I ever had. Nowadays, her visits were reduced to events, like Christmas, since she had married.

 

I pushed these thoughts then, to the back of my mind as I gathered courage to enter the house. She was my mother after all. Would she be sad if I died, if I left? Would she mourn the loss?

“June! My baby!”, I heard her cry, running to embrace me, her eyes reflecting the madness in her.

[yunake]

Ever since I was small, I’d cry when she tried to hug me, when she looked at me. Her eyes always frightened me. Everything in her transpired an aura of madness, insanity, but her eyes... her eyes were the madness, the living madness. They looked frantically, everywhere, never really focusing, so wide and intense, trembling.

 

I started panicking then, and put my arms in front of me to prepare for the impact. As usual, my mother stopped dead in her tracks, looking at the wall with a sad-like look in her face. This was before it changed into rage.

 

“You are a shame to the family! You don’t even hug your own mother, who suffered to bring you to this world, you ungrateful brat! If only my beloved son was here... he had pride in his great mother! Or my beautiful daughter... she would do anything to please her sweet mother! You are nothing but an ungrateful, despicable and unworthy child!”, she bellowed, clenching her only functional fist.

 

I’d heard this countless times. I ignored her ranting and went up the stairs, straight to my room, quickening my pace as her voice rose higher and higher. After locking my door, I sat near the windowsill, gazing at the sky as the sun set in the horizon. Such events were like a routine, they happened on a daily basis.

 

“Great, sweet... mother”, I sneered, knowing far too well she was neither.

 

“June, my baby boy? Mama is sorry, mama didn’t want to hurt you, baby. Do you forgive mama? Will you come out and give mama a hug now?”, I heard her begging on the other side of the door.

 

Aunt Leila had told me never to go near her. I discovered through the worst way what would happen if I did. The scar on my left arm was proof enough.

 

After a while, I could hear her hitting the door, trying to get through.

“Come out, you stupid boy! Come out right this instance! Come out or I’ll rip you apart!”

They were true enough threats, but she couldn’t reach me.

 

After long moments, I finally heard her move away, going down the stairway, probably to destroy a few more belongings.

I let out a deep sigh, trying to relax myself. As if having a demented mother wasn’t sufficient, now the nightmares robbed me of what little time I had to relax.

 

I looked at my cellphone. I had five messages waiting for me there. One was from Pam, another from my aunt, the rest of them being messages warning that Pam had tried to call me.

Since I had no patience to answer any, I laid the phone back on the desk and went to sleep. A much needed sleep.

[yunake]

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, with cold perspirations and the same bad feeling. It took me a while before I made myself stand from the bed. After what seemed like an eternity, I picked my phone where it lay and confirmed what I already dreaded: it was my birthday.

 

There was only one thing to look forward to on this particular date. My aunt would come and that alone made the day bearable. Near Aunt Leila, my mother behaved as if she were completely sane. This made my life a whole lot easier, even if for the remaining of a day.

 

I heard the doorbell and felt my heart race. Quickly, I dressed myself and dashed down the stairs, just to find my mother in handcuffs, completely delusional, by the side of a very old looking policeman. It was a wonder how he managed to have enough strength to tame the madwoman. It suddenly kicked in.

 

“What are you doing?”, I asked anxiously.

“I’m taking your momma here to jail for physical abuse of a child. This ain’t a place for you. It’s plain wrong what she’s been doing to you, kid. Your auntie, Leila was her name? Yes, she filed a complaint against this missy here, with quite some big evidence. So you see, you’re finally going to be rid of the little devil.”, he explained, his Scottish accent quite pronounced.

“I see…”

 

Two other policemen took my delusional mother away. I should have felt sad, I told myself I should, but deep inside I was quite happy about it. I felt a hand on my shoulder then.

 

“I know it may be hard for you, kid, but she’s going to a place where she’ll be treated for what she is, with special attention.”, he tried to comfort me, but his words just made me feel disgusted.

“But sir, where am I going to live now? Who’s going to take care of me?”, I asked, feeling a bit lost.

 

“Well, your auntie didn’t sign for your guardianship, I guess she has her own handful to take care of. You’ve been assigned to another family, kid. We’ll take you there as soon as you’ve packed your stuff.”

I nodded, taking in as many details as possible before turning to leave.

 

“Oh and do be quick about it. We ain’t got all day, kid!”

I didn’t talk back. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. It was just too much. It was just fantastic too.

[yunake]

We were finally arriving. Someone shook me softly, bringing me back to my senses as the car was parked. Mister Reignard, the old policeman, helped me get my heavy bags and walked me up to a big ancient looking mansion. It was quite an unusual place to live in. The mansion looked positively like a sort of castle, in the middle of the woods, far from a nearby city or village. It had this medieval feeling about it and it made me inhale sharply.

 

“Here we are, kid. This will be your new home.”, he announced the obvious.

I suppose it was meant to be some kind of comfort but it only added to my worries. What was that place? What kind of family would live in such an isolated area? I could feel familiar chills.

 

The front door, its wood old and worn out, slowly opened, the creepiest sound you can imagine coming from the poorly oiled ironmongery. From behind the door came a tall figure of an old woman. I could feel the smell of honey clinging on her invading my nostrils. It was, to say the least, nauseating.

 

“Hello, Miss Crawley.”, he greeted.

“Hello there. The masters are away so I’ll be taking the boy now. Young master will be pleased to meet young mister...”, the elderly woman started, looking at me with curious eyes.

 

“Mister Harrington.”

I looked at her, trying to search for any clues in her that would tell me of the household awaiting me. She was very old, her skin and silver hair the evident proof. She seemed to be dressing nothing more than rags. Yet her blue eyes made me feel calm, strangely calm.

 

“Well this is it, kid. Take good care of yourself and behave.”, mister Reignard said, pushing me forward.

“Let’s go now, young mister Harrington. Young master will be expecting your arrival.”

 

I was led into the immense household. The inside, I must admit, was simply marvelous. The walls were richly adorned with jewelry and gold; here and there curtains could be seen, made of the finest of tissues; portraits without end covered the otherwise empty spots on the walls. There were so many candles. I wondered why electricity wasn’t used.

 

I went up a huge stairway. On every turn a new set of corridors and doors came into view. It was at the very top of the chairs that I saw an open door.

 

“Young master will be waiting in there. Off you go, lad.”, the old lady said, pointing at the room ahead.

She left me there, staring at the opened door. Slowly, step by step, I entered the mysterious chamber. I was greeted then by the strangest of sights. In front of me was a boy, perhaps younger than me, I couldn't quite tell, completely naked in the candlelight, his hair as white as if made of the purest snow. He was sitting on a majestic bed, his back to me.

[yunake]

I stood there, gaping. I told myself I wasn’t in any way gay but that slender pale body, with no imperfections, was making me question it over and over again.

The boy faced me then, his expression unreadable.

 

“I heard you were coming. I’ve been waiting.”, he said, his voice soft as a smile appeared on his thin lips.

I couldn’t find any power in myself to even speak up.

“So you are…?”, he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“I’m… June… June Harrington”, I managed to say.

“June… Nice to meet you June, I am Laurel Ivanovo. You may call me just Laurel, if you want to”, he said, an evident innuendo on the last part.

 

“Laurel…”, I murmured, his name sounding so foreign on my lips.

He smiled again. It was such a warm smile. I found myself wanting to bury my whole being in him. Thoroughly shaking these thoughts away, I picked the robe on the bed and pulled it onto him.

Laurel looked at me expectantly, as if searching for something, waiting for something.

I could clearly see he was anxious. A nice shade of red colored his face.

I took a step back, trying to keep my posture.

 

“Young master Laurel, it is a pleasure to meet you. Where am I going to stay?”, I asked, trying my hardest to breathe normally.

His smile vanished and his face became pale again. Yet his eyes still bore the same warmness.

“You will be staying in the attic, just above my chambers.”, he said, pointing to the door on the far right corner.

I nodded and picked my heavy bags, ready to get away from the boy.

“I’ll help you.”, he offered.

 

I didn’t complain but after walking only a few steps, Laurel dropped the bag he was trying to carry and fell on his knees.

At that moment, the old lady entered the chambers.

“Young master! Young master shouldn’t force himself too much! Young master could die!”, the woman cried, her arms flailing around frantically.

 

As he got up, Laurel looked at her with disgust and shoved her aside.

“It is none of your concern! Now get out. GET OUT!”, he roared.

When the woman was finally gone, Laurel fell to his knees again.

 

I quickly went to his side, trying my best not to rouse his fury onto me.

“She seemed such a nice lady… why did you make her go away like that? She was only trying to help you.”, I asked, not quite knowing when had I started to talk.

 

“She is nothing but a hindrance. And she knows very well that she must not get anywhere near my chambers. But forget that for now.”, he said, smiling at me again.

There were so many things I wanted to ask him then but couldn’t find a way to do so.

 

“I am sure you have many questions, but those will have to wait for another time. As you can see I cannot help you right now with your bags so if you’ll forgive me I’ll go to sleep now, tomorrow a new day will dawn.”, he answered my unvoiced thoughts.

“Oh, and June”, he said, “Happy Birthday.”

 

I slowly nodded and picked my bags, moving at a speedy pace. The place where I was staying looked like it had been recently cleaned. Some missing spots of dust remained here and there. All in all, it was a nice room.

 

All the recent events were spinning in my head, making me dizzy and confused. There was something suspicious about the whole situation, something I couldn’t quite understand yet.

When I managed to get things decently settled for the day, I fell onto my bed.

A deep dreamless slumber claimed me not very long after.

[Aki]

Oh, poor June. He had only bad luck until now. leaf4

 

Can't wait to see the next part. :hamtaro-005 (8):

[Matti_19]

I'm glad to read another interesting original fanfiction. I like both June and Laurel up to now.

The story is interesting and I have no clue of what will happen next. So, I can't wait to read the next chapter.

[Last_sky16]

ahahaha...hope u will make the story more 'good luck' later...

itz so weird reading my name with bad lucks...lol

love ur story!!!! wuwuwuw....cant wait for the next chapter...^^

[Aoi]

I really like June. I like his name, his behaviour, everything..

I hope he'll be more happy in his new house. His young master seems pretty odd up to now ) It's so interesting, I can't wait for the next chapter.

[yunake]

Thank you all for liking it I'll try to get another chapter done as soon as possible!

[yojichan]

This is just incredible.

I love the descriptions, the vivid feel of it all. I love the flow of the story. It was very, very, VERY good. I found myself just reading and reading all the way. I like how you built the characters and their history. Bravo!

Yeah you really should post the next update to this. It's quite good.

Hmmmm...is Laurel gonna be a vampire? Hehe..just kidding.

 

This is truly an amazing story you've written here. This is by far the best I've read of your works so far. Keep it going!

[yunake]

This is just incredible.

I love the descriptions, the vivid feel of it all. I love the flow of the story. It was very, very, VERY good. I found myself just reading and reading all the way. I like how you built the characters and their history. Bravo!

Yeah you really should post the next update to this. It's quite good.

Hmmmm...is Laurel gonna be a vampire? Hehe..just kidding.

 

This is truly an amazing story you've written here. This is by far the best I've read of your works so far. Keep it going!

 

waaaaaaaaaaaaah you actually read it! I'm so glad! Arigatou! And just to assure you, Laurel isn't... well, you'll see xDD I'll try to be fast :3

[yunake]

Chapter II - Vitium (Mistake)

 

I woke up with the first rays of light on my eyes. There was this huge window in the attic with no curtains who served as the source. I lazily opened my eyes, trying to focus on my surroundings. What I didn’t expect was to see someone else in the bed.

Startled, I jumped out of the bed, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. In my bed lay the boy from the day before, sleeping so peacefully it made my heart ache. The first rays of light on his white hair made him look heavenly, like an angel.

 

Trying my best not to wake him, I carefully got into bed again. I lay awake, watching him sleep, watching the slow rising and falling of his chest.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”, came the soft reply as one grey eye opened.

 

I held my breath, for fear of saying anything stupid.

Laurel chuckled, his hand catching mine.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you”, he said, looking into my eyes, “you see, I’ve always been alone… from the moment I knew you were coming, I felt so happy… not as happy as when I got to see you.”

 

Laurel looked so sad. I wanted to have him in my arms; I felt the urge to do everything I could to make him smile. Weird thoughts crossed my mind then.

 

“I’ve always been on my own too, I guess we might have a lot in common”, I reassured, running my fingers through his white mess of hair, “But… I barely know you.”

Laurel smiled knowingly.

 

“We have all the time in the world to get to know each other.”, he said, with a mischievous look.

I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t properly checked my phone. Pam would be very angry at me for ignoring her.

“Hum, Laurel… I have to do something. You can wait there if you want…”, I said, moving out of bed and reaching for my phone.

I could feel his eyes on me. I read the two messages waiting on my phone, trying my hardest not to be bothered by the intense gaze on my back.

 

“I have a question… actually, I have many but I highly doubt you’ll answer most of them…”, I started, not turning to face him.

“You’ll never know until you ask me.”, came the playful reply.

I let out a deep sigh.

 

“Laurel… who exactly are you? Why did I come here? What do you know about me? I haven’t even seen your parents! I’m so confused… I have school you know?”, I blurted all out in one breath.

 

“June… I already told you who I am, silly boy. Why did you come here? Well, that should be easy enough. Your mother was taken away and you were put under the wing of a new family. As for what I know about you, I know what your file said, nothing more. My parents… they’re often away on business. They’ll be back for dinner today, don’t worry. Concerning school, it was decided you will attend your old school, but I’m also coming with you.”, he explained, his voice soft.

 

“You will? But your hair… it…”, I started, knowing very well he didn’t answer me the way I wanted.

“What’s wrong with my hair? Because it has no color? Should I dye it?”, he asked, grinning.

“I… no, you shouldn’t… it… it looks nice… like that…”, I whispered, hoping he didn’t hear it.

 

“It’s quite long, I seriously think I’m starting to look like a girl… but if you like it, I’ll leave it as it is.”, I could hear Laurel saying, chuckling.

 

I was looking at his long white hair then. It was so smooth. I wanted to touch it as before, to run my fingers through the silky mess. Laurel must have noticed me, his expression became gleeful.

 

“Do you like my hair that much? Would you like to feel it again?”, came the odd question.

I swallowed in dry. How could such a pure looking person say such wicked things? It’s not as if I didn’t want to… feel it.

“A friend of mine is worried about me. I’d like to be able to meet up with her, if that wouldn’t be too bothersome.”, I roughly changed the subject.

 

Laurel’s eyes narrowed a bit. He seemed to ponder the idea carefully.

“I’ll see to it. Let’s go eat breakfast in the meanwhile. I’m sure Miss Crawley has prepared us quite a banquet. She’ll be in the garden, if you’re wondering.”, he said, not meeting my eyes.

 

I nodded, not quite sure why my stomach was churning at seeing the sudden change in Laurel’s behavior.

[yunake]

I told Pam to meet me at the usual coffee shop. Miss Crawley’s husband, Herman, was the one who drove me there. The man had this hostile look, even though he wasn’t really that bad. He was usually quiet, rarely smiling, but he was a very calm person with a weird way of expressing his kindness.

 

I saw Pam already waiting. Now there was someone who looked as hostile as she really was, when she was angry. Furious suited her better, considering the way her brows lined and her eyes tapered.

 

“June Harrington, what is the meaning of this? I mean, seriously, I phoned you so many goddamn times and you didn’t even bother to send me a message until two days later! How’s that for decent? You’re unbelievable!”, she scolded me, her voice as stern as ever.

 

“Now, Pam, I came here to tell you why I didn’t answer you right away. Do calm down, dear Pam, you’ll understand once I tell you.”, I tried to still her.

 

She wasn’t quite convinced, but her curiosity always got the best of her.

I told her as best as I could about the events of the past two days, leaving out the details where Laurel was concerned. I was embarrassed just at the thought of mentioning how I eagerly caressed his hair… held his hand… oh, god forbid I should ever let any living soul know about it at all!

 

Pam looked considerably more apprehensive by the end of my explanation.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Jun. It must be hard for you… don’t ever forget you have a friend here, a shoulder to cry on. I’ll do my best to support you on these hard times. But you should see the bright side of it. You have a new friend, sort of a brother, no? And I’m sure lady luck’s on your side now, after all you’ve suffered, it’s more than you deserve.”, Pam said, patting my shoulder affectionately, even if awkwardly.

 

“Maybe you’re right, my friend, maybe you are.”, I was trying to fight the idea of Laurel being my brother. Somewhere inside me, something told me he could never be. The whole idea itself seemed ridiculous and so out of place in my head. If that was a good or bad thing, I didn’t know.

 

“Are you going to eat that or not?”, she suddenly asked, eyeing my plate.

It was a strawberry cake.

 

“You can have it, I know it’s your favorite, besides, I’m not that hungry.”

“If you say so, don’t expect me to hesitate.”

 

She ate the cake without a second thought. That was Pam alright; straightforward she was, hardly ever hesitated. Her looks, however, betrayed her personality. She had light brown hair put up in two neat buns, held by all these sort of colorful straps. Her eyes were almond shaped and dark, dark brown, nonetheless lively, almost twinkling. Her skin tanned by the sun, she dressed quite childishly for her age. But I guess that was what made Pam unique.

 

Noticing the scrutinizing look I was giving her, Pam looked at me defiantly, as if challenging me to dare to criticize her.

I laughed wholeheartedly. She was quite the sight.

 

“What are you laughing at?”, she asked, her eyes narrowing sharply.

“You looked priceless a moment ago, Pam. I couldn’t help it.”, I tried to explain.

 

As quick as lightning, she smacked me hard on my head, looking absolutely pissed at my comment.

“That should remind you of your place!”, she said, eyeing me triumphantly.

 

I dared not say anything else. I knew that if I did, she’d hit me again and surely harder.

My thoughts drifted then, with no control over them. Laurel was on my mind, again. I remembered him when we met, I remembered him in the morning, I remembered him smiling during breakfast, I remembered his unreadable expression when I left, I remembered how soft his hair felt in my hands. Why, I asked myself, was a person like him, that I barely knew, that I had just recently met, invading my mind so easily?

 

“Are you alright?”, I could detect the concerned tone in those words.

I looked down at the table. Pam had put her hand over mine. I couldn’t help but remember Laurel’s hand on mine that morning.

“I’m fine. Pam, there is something I wanted to ask you.”, I said, taking her hand in mine.

I looked into her eyes at that moment. She was clearly blushing, a very rare sight.

 

“Pam, would you go out with me?”

Pam’s eyes widened, the blush spreading all over her face. I don’t think she even pondered the question.

[yunake]

I had avoided any kind of conversation with Laurel since I got back. The boy didn’t seem to have noticed, though if he did, Laurel wasn’t showing any signs.

 

I spent most of the day in the garden, helping Miss Crawley. As I suspected, she was a very nice lady, always so kind, always so attentive, I couldn’t even fathom why Laurel treated her like scum.

 

“Mister Harrington, the masters will be here in an hour, it is quite advisable if you go take a shower and change.”, she suddenly said, eyeing her wristwatch.

 

“You can call me by my given name, Miss Crawley.”, I told her, managing a smile.

She smiled back, some teeth missing.

 

“Well then, mister June, I’m Irene.”, the old lady revealed, offering me her hand.

I took the hand and she pulled me up to a standing position.

 

“I’ll go change now.”, I said and turned to leave.

Luck must have definitely been on my side. I didn’t encounter Laurel, not even in his own room, as I made my way to the bathroom adjoining his chambers.

 

As soon as I was ready, I heard the unmistaken sound of the doorbell. The time finally came to meet the masters of the house.

 

I went down to the entry, almost falling on the staircase.

“So this is June Harrington.”, came the warm greeting.

 

I looked up to see a young looking couple. They seemed to radiate beneath the candlelight. The woman had the same hair as Laurel, white as snow, long and straight; she was pale and had grey eyes. The man, on the other side, had dark messy hair, rebellious curls sticking out. He had a dark hairy face, his expression austere and his eyes green, like the leaves in spring. They were quite the spectacle.

 

Laurel had clearly taken after his mother, but his messy long hair wasn’t straight, more like his father’s dark curls. He was next to the couple, stoic looking.

 

I avoided eye contact with him. I wasn’t sure why, but I just couldn’t face him.

“June, you already met Laurel, our beloved son. We know you’ve gone through hard times. We want you to know that this is your new family.”, said the lady, her voice a bit too high.

 

“You must know, though, that we are not your parents and that you are in debt to Laurel”, I widened my eyes at that, “Yes, in debt, he was the one insisting we sign your guardianship. You are to be his manservant and assist him on his every need.”, the grave man said, his tone not quite as strict as I was expecting. His eyes seemed to pierce me though.

 

I nodded, not meeting Laurel’s eyes yet.

“But dear, you need not worry; we are not like your mother, sweet child. You will be treated with respect and kindness in this household.”, the kind woman said, her eyes not quite on me.

 

I looked at Laurel then. He was looking at the far wall, a bit away from his parents. He looked so lonely, so… I couldn’t recognize what was it, but it made me want to hug the boy with all my heart.

As if hearing my unvoiced thoughts, Laurel turned to me and smiled. Probably he was trying to stop me from worrying. I must have been frowning.

 

“Now, June, don’t make such a face. Dinner is ready so let’s move to the dining room, shall we? Mom, dad.”, Laurel joked, motioning to his parents to follow him.

 

“So, how old are you, little one?”, Laurel’s mother asked me when we sat.

“I’m 15, my lady.”, I said, feeling suddenly shy.

 

“No need to be so formal, child. I see you are the same age as our dear Laurel.”, she said, looking fondly at her son.

The rest of the meal went on in silence.

[yunake]

That night, I barely closed my eyes. I spent most of the night exchanging messages with Pam.

All of a sudden, the weight in the bed changed.

 

“June, what are you doing?”, I heard the familiar voice.

“Are you going to come here as you feel like without even knocking?”, I asked, feeling anxious. He was the last person I felt like seeing in that moment.

 

“You don’t need to be so rude. You are my servant after all, I have the right to do what I feel like, where it concerns you.”, Laurel answered, his face a little too close for comfort.

 

“I am not your toy!”, I admonished, feeling the anger rising in me.

Laurel seemed to be quiet for some long minutes.

 

“Is she your girlfriend?”, he suddenly asked, looking me in the eyes.

I was caught off guard. Why would he ask that?

“She is.”, I firmly stated.

 

Something flashed in Laurel’s eyes and as quickly as he had come, he went away, not saying one more word.

I was left dumbfounded, with no clue as to what had just happened or why.

I barely slept that night, one too many reasons behind said lack of sleep.

[Matti_19]

So interesting Yunake! I liked very much this chapter.

Wow! I like the 'chemistry' between June and Laurel.

Hope you'll finish the next chapter soon, cause now I can't wait to see what will happen next!

[yunake]

So interesting Yunake! I liked very much this chapter.

Wow! I like the 'chemistry' between June and Laurel.

Hope you'll finish the next chapter soon, cause now I can't wait to see what will happen next!

 

I'm so happy you're liking it xD I'll try to be fast, since I'm quite busy it may take a while ^.^'''

[Justme]

I love the story!!! It's getting more and more interesting! :hamtaro-005 (8):

 

Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

[yunake]

I'm glad you like it! really am, thank you!

[Ginger]

Thank you for sharing your story with us! I really like the characters and can hardly wait to see what happens to them and what they are hiding.

[BRIDGET]

Hi dear, I read just up to here. What a mystery! First parts made me cry, but I like it very very much

Big kiss, miss you

[yunake]

So I know it's been really VERY long since I put up anything more but here you go xD

 

Chapter III - Cordis Diligentis (A Loving Heart)

 

The same odd nightmare robbed me from what little sleep I had managed. I woke up in sweat, shivering uncontrollably. I was alone.

 

The last few weeks had been the same, I’d have the same nightmare, I’d go to school with Laurel, he would not even look at me, we returned to the mansion and continued that way, as if we were two complete strangers.

 

Laurel avidly avoided Pam. I had tried to introduce Pam to him but he dismissed it as unimportant. To be truthful, Laurel was most of the time on his own; he hadn’t made any friends and didn’t even seem to see it as worthy of consideration. I did notice, however, the way he looked at Pam when she was near me. His eyes seemed to burn her; they looked so angry, so sad… I wanted to make that look go away, I really did… but I didn’t understand why, why would I wish that so fervently; why would he look at Pam that way…

 

One thing was true enough, Pam wasn’t stupid and she knew something was wrong with Laurel. I only saw him so lost, whereas Pam recognized jealousy in him.

 

But what could Laurel be so jealous about? I didn’t have that many friends. Was it because I had a girlfriend? No, Laurel couldn’t possibly be in love with Pam, he’d never even seen her before he came to school with me. Then what could it be? He had everything a boy his age could wish for…

 

I stopped my musings and went to take a shower. I had to ask him, I had to face Laurel and know why he was acting this way…

 

Seems like fate decided to play with me. Laurel appeared that precise moment coming out from the bathroom, his hair a wet mess, some strands glued to his pale face. His expression was serene. He seemed to radiate under the steam coming from his cooling skin. He looked… luscious.

 

Laurel’s gaze fell on me and turned cold.

 

“Hum… Laurel, I… I need to talk with you, it’s important”, I solemnly requested.

 

“I don’t see why you would have such a need, but if it is so, let me clothe myself and we’ll talk”, he calmly said, nodding his head, his gaze still holding mine in a freezing atmosphere.

 

He dressed himself quickly, not once meeting my eyes. I couldn’t stop staring, I didn’t know why.

 

Laurel sat on his bed and bid me to do the same. I was anxious and fell with a loud thump.

 

“So what was so important that you needed to talk to me about?”, Laurel asked, almost mockingly.

 

“Why have you been avoiding me? Why do you look at Pam with such an angry expression? What are you jealous of? Pam told me you were jealous but didn’t say of what…”, I blurted out.

 

I could hear Laurel inhaling deeply. He let out a sigh, his look so forlorn. There was a sudden change; he seemed to find what I asked amusing.

 

“Why aren’t you the egocentric type. Just because I don’t talk to you all the time you immediately assume I’m avoiding you? Moreover, you think I’m jealous of you? Oh, and you do listen to everything your sweet Pam tells you. Bet you’d jump to your death at her very request.”, he sneered.

 

I couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth. Where anger should have definitely bloomed, instead was an unknown sadness, disappointment.

 

“Laurel, you don’t mean that… surely you don’t mean that…”, I almost sobbed.

 

“Oh, but I do, June, I indeed do. So, if there was nothing else you wanted to speak about, you can go away.”, he dismissed me, his eyes not meeting mine anymore.

 

When I didn’t move, Laurel got up. Instinct took over me and I grabbed his hand. I couldn’t bear his words. I might not know Laurel, but I knew he couldn’t possibly mean it… he couldn’t… I didn’t want to believe it…

 

Laurel looked at me, his eyes wide in surprise. His features softened.

 

“June, let go”

 

“I can’t… you don’t mean it… I don’t understand anymore… I’ve barely known you for a little more than two months… but I can’t bear it any longer… I’m so confused…”, I whispered.

 

“What’s wrong with you? What have you been feeling?”, he asked, hope clear in his tone.

 

What was he hoping from me?

 

“I… every time I look at you, I feel weird, I have this urges, these longings, sudden as they are and I don’t understand why I’d have them… then you’re always in my head it bothers me… my head gets dizzy… my heart beats faster… I feel crushed when you avoid me… I can’t bear it… I’m fed up with this…”, I murmured, like a little child explaining its fear of thunder.

 

Laurel let out a loud sigh and sat himself on the bed again, his head in his hands.

 

“Are you dumb?”, he suddenly asked.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

He looked at me, his eyes determined.

 

“You are quite the fool. Why are you dating Pam? Do you love her?”

 

“I… she’s my best friend, she’s nice and sweet and she’s always there for me…”

 

“That’s not love! June wake up, do you love her? What does it feel when she… kisses you?”, he interrupted, somewhat faltering on his last question.

 

What did I feel? I tried to run away from all those confusing thoughts and went to Pam. Everything had been so much better at the time. But then Laurel could be so unpredictable, the thoughts eventually came back. When Pam kissed me… I felt nothing but wetness, the wetness of her lips brushing mine; it brought nothing more than self-awareness.

 

“Nothing…”, I finally said.

 

“Thought so… You’ve been running away from your true feelings. Don’t think I’m self-centered, but June you’re not in love with Pam, you’re in love with me”, he finished, giving me a warm smile.

 

“Are you crazy? I can’t be… you’re not a girl, which would never happen! God forbid…”

 

“You can be quite stupid, you know? Love is not a question of gender, it is a feeling. Religion has misunderstood His intentions and sayings for too long, God never forbid true love in any living being. Throughout history women have fallen in love for other women, as have men for other men. These things were quite common in the Greeks, the Romans, everywhere. Even kings had their lovers. Humans have often misunderstood what they couldn’t explain, what was different. Good example of it is the Negroes, why they were slaves just because of their skin! They were treated like scum and the only reason behind it was their skin color. Same goes for everything else, June. Before this becomes a philosophy lesson, do make up your mind, now that you know the truth.”, he calmly explained, holding my hand.

 

It all made sense. Maybe I was… but what of Pam? What would I tell her? But Laurel’s hand in mine felt so perfect, I felt so calm, so serene, I felt completely at ease.

 

I looked at Laurel, my eyes speaking what my mouth could not.

 

Laurel’s smile widened and he leaned closer. His mouth only inches from mine; I felt my heart start racing. I could hear it drumming in my ears. My breathing became erratic. I felt dizzy. My eyes slowly started closing as the distance thinned.

 

I suddenly heard Laurel chuckling.

 

I opened my eyes to see him laughing at me, his eyes twinkling. It was quite nerve wracking.

 

“Now that I know the answer quite well, I have to request you break up with Pam. I will not do anything with you unless you do so. I’m not the sharing type, you might have noticed, and I respect the girl enough to know it would be wrong of me.”, he explained when he saw my angry expression.

 

Laurel was right. If I kissed him right then while still dating Pam, it would be betrayal. Laurel’s principles were more in place than mine.

 

“I don’t know how I’m going to face Pam and tell her… she’ll ask for an explanation…”

 

“June, you’re no baby, just tell her you misunderstood your feelings, you thought your close bond of friendship to be love; tell her she feels more like a sister to you than a girlfriend and that, even if it hurts her, it’s better to end it than to be together with her out of pity.”, Laurel told me.

 

“You’re right. She was always more like a sister to me. I’ll do that. Thank you Laurel”, I said, giving him a meaningful look.

 

“I think she knows”, he suddenly said, “I think she’s only waiting for you to admit it.”

 

“How can you be so sure?”, I asked, confused.

 

“She always eyed me suspiciously. One time she came to me and asked me if… I felt something for you… I tried to deny, for the sake of us both, considering our circumstances at the time, and she said she believed otherwise… she told me to leave you be, to either gather my nerve and tell you or stay quiet and not interfere… she was quite possessive of you but I think she saw your worry and understood what was behind it, I think she saw through your lack of passion when you were with her. You acted no different than when you were just friends. I believe she sees it coming.”

 

I felt suddenly warm. My face seemed to burn.

 

“So you always… liked me?”, I asked, feeling pathetic.

 

“You’re a clueless one. I don’t think I could have been more obvious… then again, you never probably dealt with these situations before, this is probably the first time you’ve felt that way for anyone…”, he said, sighing in frustration.

 

“You’ve liked someone before?”, I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

 

“It was… long ago… it’s a very nasty long complicated story… and the past should stay in the past, as they say.”

 

I couldn’t stop feeling curious but I would never pressure Laurel to tell me about it. Something inside me stirred. Had someone already kissed him? Touched him?

 

“Don’t make such a miserable expression, I’ll tell you everything in its right time. I promise”, he told me, patting my shoulder.

 

I guess I should’ve felt better, but in fact I was feeling quite the opposite.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

Pam had made sure to hear me out without interrupting, even if she didn’t prevent herself from yelling at me after I’d finished. Laurel had been right; she knew I was going to end it. Pam scolded me for mistaking my feelings and not talk to her about it, she said she could’ve helped me if I had been more honest to both her, myself and even to Laurel. Oh, she was quite right about that, I’d screwed things between us quite lamely.

 

Things with Laurel weren’t going any further also. Even though I wasn’t with Pam anymore, Laurel wouldn’t move any closer to me than before. I had started to feel quite desperate. Often did I caught myself looking so dreamily at his lips, wishing to know how it’d feel to have mine ravishing his. What odd thoughts would come to me, each one more lustful than the one before.

 

I was quite new to all these feelings.

 

I woke one morning with my first hard-on. I was feeling quite distressed about it.

 

At some point, Laurel came to my room, as he usually did in the mornings, looking even more alluring to my eyes than usually so.

 

What I didn’t expect was to hear myself whimper when Laurel’s hand brushed my leg as he sat.

 

I could see him widening his eyes a bit, as if asking what was wrong.

 

“June, are you okay?”, he asked.

 

“Not… quite”, I managed to breathe out.

 

He raised an eyebrow then, not quite understanding my answer.

 

“I… I woke up in this weird state… I mean… I can’t say that in words! It’s… embarrassing…”, I tried to explain, blushing furiously.

 

Laurel still didn’t get what I was implying so I decided I’d show him. Slowly, I picked his hand and put it where all the tension was building. I let out a soft moan, much to my embarrassment. I could see that Laurel was blushing.

 

“June… don’t tell me this is the first time you’ve had this… you really are so new to these things…”, he almost whispered, not removing his hand yet.

 

“Laurel, please… I can’t take it anymore… it feels so weird… how do I get rid of it?”, I pleaded.

 

Laurel laughed at that, still blushing.

 

“You should hear yourself… you’re actually begging me… I think I can explain things after I take care of your little “problem”, yes?”, he asked, moving his hand a bit, as in a caress.

 

I let out a louder moan, unable to stop myself. I looked at Laurel, not fully understanding the implications of his question. My eyes met with hungry ones. Laurel was looking at me with such a lust-filled gaze it made me shiver.

 

For some moments nothing happened.

 

“I did say I would restrain myself until the right time… but you look so tempting… so ready to surrender to me… so helpless… oh, June, you really don’t know what you do to me”, he said, his tone low and husky.

 

I did know what he did to me. Just his voice was making my heart beat faster, if that was even possible.