Deadly Nightshade [with Gladis]

[blastn3]

Hayden Pierce

 

 

Name: Hayden Pierce

Age: 21

SO: Gay

Occupation: Medical School Student

 

About:

Hayden was born into a rich and famous family, both his parents being well known surgeons. Given the circumstances they made him attend Med School as well. He’s not particularly interested in Medicine but he went along with his parents request because he still needs their financial support and he is also craving their approval and love. His parents never paid too much attention to him as they were always busy and almost never at home, Hayden was basically raised by babysitters.

 

His not so good relationship with his family got even worse when he came out as gay to them. His parents are homophobic and care about their image so they didn’t like this one bit and they’re not supportive of their son’s sexual orientation. On the contrary they demanded that their son must act straight and he should try and cure his gayness. They were pretty firm about it as they threatened to disown him and cut all ties if he didn’t obey. Hence Hayden is a closeted gay and actually has a fake girlfriend in order to please his parents.

 

He discovered his sexuality about 3 years ago in Paris where he met his first love. The man taught him everything he had to learn about gay sex and about being close to someone. Nothing was planned beforehand, they meet and felt attracted towards each other, it was that crazy kind of chemistry you can’t just resist. Practically they slept together on their first meeting. The man was older so he had no choice but to lie about his age, he felt like the other would lose interest in him if he was honest, he was basically only 18 at the time, basically a kid in every’s adult eyes. Their fling lasted for two weeks only. When they had to part Hayden tried to be honest and told the truth about his age and him needing to go back to New York in a few days. They didn’t really plan ahead and he barely realized he had to go back to New York until he was faced with the fact. The other male didn’t take the news very well and they broke up on bad terms. They didn’t keep in touch after that.

 

Now even though 3 years have passed since then, Hayden is still thinking about his first love and the hot nights they’ve spent together in Paris. He tried to be with other guys also but it didn’t last, partly because they didn’t like Hayden pretending to be straight and having a girlfriend and partly because he never felt attracted enough to them. He cared about them but he always felt like it wasn’t enough and that he actually craved something different.

 

Hayden is your typical lazy student, his only merit being having a great memory. He doesn’t bother to waste too much time studying but he does attend class because his parents usually check his attendance. Even though he shows little interest in Medicine he still gets good grades due to him remembering stuff taught in class.

 

 

 

Elliot Spencer

 

 

Birth name: Artur Maguire

Fake name: Elliot Spencer

Age: 35

SO: Bisexual

Occupation: Hitman [pretends to be a detective]

 

About:

Artur was born in Ireland and he was abandoned at birth. He spent his first years in a local orphanage. When he was 6 years old everything changed though as he was sold to the Americans. It wasn’t a legit adoption agency, he was actually taken in by an organization that trained young kids for high risk jobs. And yes that meant any dirty work that American government had to be done. They weren’t treated as kids anymore but as assets. Playing around and being childish wasn’t allowed, they had to learn everything they were taught and not be left behind. Not only their bodies were trained but also their minds, they were mostly taught how to obey and be loyal to the cause and to the state. They also put high emphasis on controlling emotions and not getting involved with other human beings.

 

His upbringing left Artur devoid of love and human interaction. He knew the basics, he knew how to react in certain situations and how to manipulate people but he had no drive of his own or any desires. He knew no love so he craved no love or affection. Even today he has a hard time figuring his own feelings and acting accordingly.

 

Artur’s new identity is Elliot Spencer and he is a true born American at least on paper. Everything was covered up perfectly and no traces or loose ends were left behind. His job consists on mainly surveillance and then clean hits. He pretends to be working at a detective agency, the firm is just a cover up.

 

Two years ago he also got himself a lover, his name is Lucien and he is just a regular college teacher. He needed someone in his life, someone to build a perfect cover and to deem him a high functioning human being. He had to fit in and pretend to lead an ordinary life so that nobody could guess what kind of person he is. During the relationship he got strangely codependent on his lover but he can’t call it love though.

 

 

 

Side Characters

 

 

Abigail

 

 

 

Joshua

 

 

 

 

 

Hayden sighed as he was walking through the hallway accompanied by his ‘girlfriend’ and his bestfriend. Classes just ended and he was tired, more like bored rather than tired though. College wasn’t his favorite place to be and he wasn’t that interested in what his teachers had to say. Everything was so dull and it dragged on forever. He couldn’t even skip from time to time as his parents were very strict regarding his attendance and his future as a doctor. Or at least they were hoping that Hayden would become a doctor one day and that he’ll follow in their footsteps.

 

“Ok, babe. So see you at the movies this weekend?” The blonde girl next to him asked with excitement in her voice.

 

“Sur-…”

he wanted to say but she blocked his mouth with an unexpected kiss. He frowned then he pushed her away as fast as he could.

 

“Abigail! That’s gross! I told you to stop doing that unless we’re showing off or we’re in front of my parents… Gosh, you know that’s gross… Fuck it!”

He wiped his mouth like any decent gay guy. That was actually their arrangement, she was supposed to act as his girlfriend in front of the public and his parents or whenever an emergency occurred. Leaving school was definitely not an emergency. Unfortunately for him she was very unpredictable and a tease. She seemed down at first but in just in a few seconds she gained her sparkle back. She giggled while patting Hayden on the shoulder.

 

“Sorry babe but you’re just too adorable.”

 

“Fucking tease…”

he mumbled while rolling his eyes. Abigail was a great girl that actually accepted to be his fake girlfriend even though sometimes he found her unnecessarily annoying. Well he didn’t have to like her, she was convenient and he usually had to pay for her shit and take her to fancy places. People would say he’s lucky to have rich parents and be able to spend a load crap of money… But unfortunately all that money came from him having to please his parents which was not always easy. More like never easy, no matter what he did he miserably failed at getting his parents approval.

 

The girl smiled then waved as they exited the building. She was going in the opposite direction. Hayden was also supposed to go home but today was different. He had to check something out just to make sure.

 

“Dude are you sure you want to attend my lecture? I mean you’re always bored in class and you’re studying Medicine. I’m not sure you can handle Literature…”

 

“I’ll survive Joshua.”

Well he had to if he wanted to met him again. The other day Joshua ended complaining about his new teacher and also casually mentioned his name. Hayden was aware that hoping that Joshua’s teacher was actually his first love was very stupid but he couldn’t help it. He had to make sure. Not being able to forget about that man was torturing him for 3 years now. Even though they didn’t talk much during their fling Hayden at least knew his name and that he was planning to become a teacher. Was it just a sick coincidence or Lucien was actually that close to him? He couldn’t even get any sleep last night, the suspense was killing him. No matter what he did he ended up thinking about him, about how his lips were so soft and how wild and passionate their kisses were. The strong arms that wrapped around him while they shared a warm hug and the nails that dug into his back when he was thrusting inside him. He gulped then shook his head trying to dismiss his thought as he almost got a boner. He had some serious obsession going on.

 

“I don’t get it man. Why are you so curious about that teacher?”

 

“I think I’ve meet him somewhere. I mean his name sounds strangely familiar… Come on, stop asking stupid questions and let’s go. We’re late already.”

 

“Hayden…are you aware that you’re actually late to every class and sometimes you beg your teachers to let you in?”

 

“Fuck you! Shut up. You know my parents are crazy.”

 

He didn’t actually tell anyone about that hot summer in Paris. He never even mentioned falling in love because it only happened once and their romance lasted so little that he sometimes had to wonder if it was real or just a figment of his imagination. He knew for sure though that he was stuck in the past and he was unable to move forward. A lot of people have tried to get close to him but he couldn’t make space for them in his life. He was desiring something that he’s lost and he might never have again.

 

Joshua opened the door and entered first, he also nodded to the teacher with an apologetic look. They were late of course. Hayden went right after and actually froze. It was him. The blonde man that was in front of the class, making a comment about some book was actually Lucien. The shook and confusion were silently sinking in making him unable to move. He never thought past that, he wasn’t actually expecting him to be there. Joshua suddenly grabbed his hand as he was still starring at Lucien like he’s seen a ghost.

 

“Move man, we have to grab a sit.” He whispered as he actually had to drag the confused boy along. Hayden followed him in silence and took a sit beside him. His eyes were still focused on the teacher. He couldn’t believe that Lucien was actually there, sitting in front of him after 3 years. He felt the urge to run to him and hug him but he was still aware of his surroundings.

[Gladis]

 

 

Name:

Lucien Richard Powell

 

Age:

32

 

SO:

Gay

 

Occupation:

College Teacher

 

About:

Lucien was born and raised in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. His father, Walter Powell, is an army veteran who served in Vietnam between 1970 and 1973, during which he sustained an injury that would cripple him for life. He married Julie Dupont in 1974, and a year later Josephine, Lucien’s older sister was born. Lucien himself would not come into existence until 1987, when his mother brought him red faced and screaming into the world.

 

Due to his condition, Walter had an incredibly hard time finding work and often found himself in a state of unemployment. This meant that Julie was the main breadwinner of the family, forced to take on multiple jobs in an attempt to make ends meet. Yet in spite of the many challenges they faced, financial or otherwise, the Powell’s always somehow managed to pull through. They were a tight knit bunch, and most of Lucien’s childhood memories are happy.

 

He was 17 when he came out to his family. Being rather traditionally minded, it took them some time – especially for his christian father, to finally come around. Yet when faced with the ultimatum to either lose his son or to accept him for who he was, they both chose the latter. Their love for their son was too strong to let their religious, and otherwise socially conditioned views get in the way of their relationship.

 

Unfortunately however, Lucien’s life took a drastic turn for the worse when in 2010, his mother was diagnosed with cancer. At the time he was studying English and French literature at Temple University in Philadelphia, but was forced to put his studies on hold due to his family's circumstances. After all, Josephine was no longer in America – she had long since left for France on a scholarship, hoping to pursue her dreams of becoming a fashion designer. She would eventually come to see her fair share of success, but at the time her absence was a great detriment to the family.

 

Julie underwent chemotherapy and at least partially managed to recover. This meant that in 2013, Lucien was able to go back to university and finally get his bachelor's degree.

 

It was in the summer of 2015 that Lucien met Hayden for the first time. He had just finished his master thesis, and left for Paris to visit his sister and her family, as well as some other relatives. Their meeting was nothing short of coincidental, yet in that very moment, it almost felt as though it had always been meant to be. Lucien found himself hopelessly enamoured with the young man, and although their time together was was short, he would be hard pressed to forget those two weeks anytime soon. The spark of passion that ignited between them was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Yet as all good things are fated to do, even this little summer romance eventually had to come to an end. Hayden would soon be going back to New York, and as it turned out, he had lied to Lucien about his age. In reality he was barely 18 years old, fresh out of high school and a whole 11 years younger than Lucien. Yet it wasn’t so much the age difference itself that bothered him, but rather that he did not appreciate being lied to. Needless to say, Lucien and Hayden did not part on the best of terms.

 

Upon returning back home to America at the start of fall that same year, Lucien learned that his mother had suffered a relapse, and as he entered the perhaps most difficult period of his life thus far; the business with Hayden soon faded into the back of his mind. Julie fought bravely, but this tumor was particularly vicious, spreading faster than any doctor could ever hope to stop it. Towards the end of 2016, she passed away.

 

Lucien was at his absolute lowest when he met Elliot Spencer. If not for him, who knows where he would have ended up? It was Elliot who reached out a hand to him, and helped him get back on his feet. Perhaps their romance lacks the spark of passion he had experienced with Hayden, and it was nowhere near as sudden or instantaneous, but the feelings he developed for the man overtime are genuine.

 

As of now, they have been dating for about two years, and they recently decided to move in together. Lucien has managed to land a teaching job at a college in New York, and he’s quite happy with his current status quo. Little does he know what fate has in store for him…

 

”Okay, just so that I can get a general idea – how many of you have studied Shakespeare in the past?”

 

Lucien raised his own hand from where he stood behind the podium, allowing his cerulean gaze to sweep across the lecture hall. As expected, around half the students raised their hands.

 

”And how many of you are brand new to the college level studies of Shakespeare?”

 

Hands dropped and others rose. He smiled.

 

”Alright, so… I am of the opinion that Shakespeare is an equal opportunity author – it is both easy and hard to study Shakespeare. That is to say; you always keep finding new things. No matter how far you dig, you will never get to the bottom of a Shakespeare play, and that is what keeps so many coming back to his work-”

 

He was interrupted when the door swung open and two students filed into the lecture hall. One of them he recognized from previous classes – Joshua, he thought his name was, but the other – Lucien froze. He could swear that he’d seen green, almost turquoise eyes like that once in the past. Three years ago, to be precise – in Paris. Hayden Pierce – it had to be him. And judging by the look of shock and recognition on the young man's face, Lucien could be sure that this was more than just wishful thinking. But why was he there? Hadn’t he told Lucien that his parents wanted him to go into medicine? So what was he doing at one of Lucien’s literature classes?

 

It doesn’t matter. He tried to tell himself. You need to focus.

 

Lucien cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the rows upon rows of faces. ”As I was saying – With Shakespeare, there is always something new to be discovered. In my index, this is what indicates great literature…” It was useless. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shut Hayden out of his mind. It was as though his mere presence had opened the floodgates – overflowing his head with memories of their two weeks together. The feeling of Hayden’s smooth skin as it slid against his own; the somewhat clumsy but passionate kisses they had shared; the cute expressions the youth had been so prone to making when Lucien showed him the ropes, and their conversations that had lasted long into the night. The feelings of guilt and heartache Lucien had experienced when at last their paths diverged, and a sudden desire to reclaim what had been lost. To ignite that spark once more, and to relive the best moments of that summer.

 

Frankly, he felt overwhelmed, and that terrified him.

 

Although Lucien did a fairly good job of keeping a straight face throughout the lecture, he was far from himself. He had broken out into a cold sweat, and he found himself stumbling a lot more than usual. He wanted nothing more than for the hour to be over, to go home and to clear his head under a much needed shower. To cuddle up in Elliot’s arms and to forget that this afternoon had ever happened. He wanted to run and hide like a coward; to escape these conflicting feelings of discomfort and desire. So when at last his smartwatch displayed 5:57 PM, he was more than happy to end the lecture a couple of minutes early.

 

”Oh, will you look at that. Time flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it?” He chuckled softly, his lips curling into a joking, albeit mildly strained smile. ”That will be all for today. I will see you again on... friday, was it? Please do remember that your essays are due on Wednesday.” And to the sound of people moving about and lively conversation rising within in the lecture hall, he swiftly gathered his belongings. His flight, however, was interrupted by the usual crowd that gathered at his podium to ask questions and discuss the lecture, and he found himself having to patiently deal with each one of his students. Normally this was something he did with great enthusiasm, but today was different. His outward demeanor may have likened his usual calm and collected self, but internally he was a panicking mess.

 

It was 6:15 by the time all of his students had finally cleared out. All except for one, he realized, as he reached for his portfolio and made himself ready to leave. His heart sank straight into his shoes, because when he glanced up, he once again found himself caught in that turquoise green gaze. His lips quirked into an awkward smile, and although his mouth felt so dry he could barely speak, he somehow still managed to produce a relatively normal sounding sentence.

 

”I never thought I’d see a future surgeon on a lecture about Shakespear’s later plays...” he trailed off, supressing a soft sigh before tucking a couple of loose, golden strands behind his ear. ”Why are you here, Hayden?”

[blastn3]

They even made eye contact and Lucien was as shocked as he was. So there he had it, his first love actually remembered him even though 3 years have passed and their romance barely lasted for 2 weeks. It was not all just a beautiful dream he made up due to being lonely, the man was real and he was just a few meters away from him. They grabbed a seat in the back given that they were late to class and front seats were already taken. He would’ve liked to be closer to him but even this was enough. He could still follow him around with his gaze as he strolled around the classroom.

 

Those blue eyes still held the same passion he admired in Paris, Lucien just had that nostalgic look on his face everytime he spoke about books. He was excited about them as well as lost between the lines, he was captivated by the story they unfolded. Hayden loved that about him. Unlike him Lucien knew what he wanted to do, he chose his own path and enjoyed it while he was just being dragged along by his parents. He had no idea what to do with his life and which path to take so he was just following the wishes of his parents.

 

His burning gaze kept tracing the teacher’s face, he was still as beautiful as ever and his age didn’t show one bit. Hayden was never bothered by their age difference and Lucien was hot as hell anyway. Even though he kept starring at him for the whole lecture the blonde didn’t seem to glance his way like was avoiding him on purpose. They made eye contact only once when he entered the classroom but after that the other man totally ignored him and did his best not to look in his direction. It was hurtful to think that Hayden was the only one craving him, the only one still interested and bothered by the hot nights they’ve spent together. It was clear that he remembered him but he didn’t seem to want anything to do with him anymore. He let a sigh escape his thin lips as he dropped his head on the desk and ruffled his hair in frustration.

 

“Are you ok, man? You’re practically starring at him… It’s a bit creepy.” Joshua complained as he was paying more attention to his friend than the lecture.

 

“I’m not really…”

he mumbled while not looking at his friend at all.

 

“So do you know him after all?”

 

“Unfortunately I do… and he does too… Why is life so fucking complicated?”

 

The conversation was left in the air as the mood got weird between them and other students were giving them glares for talking to each other. The teacher didn’t seem to notice the noise though or more likely he didn’t want to notice it.

 

When the lecture ended the majority of students crowded in front of the doors wishing to exit the classroom as soon as possible. Just a few students remained behind to ask questions. They went over to Lucien and started to bomb him with questions. Seemed like he was a well liked teacher. Hayden also mindlessly made his way towards the front. But suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind and startled him.

 

“Hey man. Where are you going? You’re not coming home?” Joshua asked with confusion and worry in his eyes.

 

“I will…later. I’ll stay behind to ask some questions.”

His voice was low and sort of trembling, he was extremely nervous. He had no idea how the other would react when confronted. Their fling ended on a bad tone and Lucien was very upset when they parted. He was equally excited also as he was happy to see him and to get the chance to talk to him again.

 

“Should I wait for you?”

 

“No, don’t bother. It’s personal… See you tomorrow.”

 

“Fine…you weirdo.” Joshua was still confused and somewhat upset as he couldn’t understand what was going on with his friend. Hayden also didn’t seem eager to explain anything and he acted like a total nut job. He sighed then also left the classroom with the other students.

 

He made it to the front but he didn’t rush, he waited patiently for the other students to finish with their questions. After all he wanted the teacher alone, they wouldn’t be able to speak otherwise.

 

Hayden climbed to the podium and sat in front of the desk waiting for some sort of acknowledgement from the teacher before starting speaking. He just wanted to make sure that the other properly recognized him and that he didn’t forget the time they’ve spent together.

 

“I’m here for you…”

He barely gathered his words now that he was literally in front of him. Butterflies crowded in his stomach and his body grew hotter which each second. His body was caught in a light tremor and his hands were definitely shaking. Hearing him call his name again made him very happy though.

 

“Sorry…this is a bit awkward…”

He spoke again trying to control the quiver of his voice.

“I’m still thinking about you Lucien. I couldn’t forget that summer. I just can’t get you out of my head. I miss you everyday. What about you?”

This time his voice came out more steady as he was beginning to regain his composure. He had to if he didn’t want to miss this opportunity. He couldn’t waste this chance, he had to properly convey his feelings to the other. About the question he posed he was feeling a bit regretful as he had no idea if the other actually moved on.

 

The boy got a bit closer watching the teacher’s hands that were holding a file on top of the desk. He put his hand over his, slowly tracing the shape of his fingers and feeling his warmth. Even such a slight touch made him excited and happy. It was like he could feel a spark every time he touched him. He tried his best to mind the surroundings but when he was sure nobody was there anymore he couldn’t contain himself. He just went for it, wrapping his hands over the other’s body and embracing him tightly. The nostalgic fragrance and the warm body that fitted perfectly into his arms made his heart beat faster and louder. It was actually even easier to hug him now than last time given that Hayden grew a bit more over the last years. It felt so right to hold him.

 

 

______________________________________________

 

 

Elliot had an easy day at the office, meaning that he actually had no target for the time being. When no jobs were available he would be stuck sitting at a desk and pretending to be working, not actually working but staying inside the building. It was a quiet week and he had yet to receive an order from the higher ups. It was rather boring and he hated spending time alone, it made him question his existence and his job, even think about his relationship. Keeping busy and focusing on a target was a way of forgetting about himself and about insignificant life aspects.

 

The building he was in was registered as a detective agency and it actually had employees at least on paper. There were also offices that most of the time were empty and he randomly saw some freelancers dropping by. The building needed maintenance, fake accounting and sometimes he himself needed support for some jobs so specialists were hired to help from time to time. Elliot though was a product of the system so liking it or not that building was his curse and he had no actual freedom. He couldn’t come and go as he pleased, job or no job he had to stay there.

 

He spent his day reading a psychology book that mostly dealt with relationships issues. Even though things were good between him and Lucien he just wanted to understand more about people and about their feelings. Given his upbringing Elliot was lacking in the emotional department and sometimes had a hard time showing affection and definitely was not the best at understanding himself. On the other side though he was rather perceptive and quick to pick on hints about other’s people feelings. They were taught that during training, they were instructed to gather information about their targets and to exploit any weaknesses they had. But love and actual human interaction was different, they didn’t taught that.

 

His lover was into reading books so he also wanted to experience that more, to understand his drive and his pleasure regarding them. It was more like sharing a common interest even though the books Elliot read had more to do with psychology and darker aspects of life while Lucien was more into Shakespeare and romance. It wasn’t even required for him to understand his boyfriend as he could easily get another one and start over, he was allowed to at least choose his partners. The thing was that he didn’t want to let Lucien go, during the past two years he grew quite dependent on the man. He just got used to his presence and not having him around would render him even more empty.

 

Around 5:30 pm he left the office. After exiting the building he went to the parking lot where his car was waiting. It was a 2018 black Mitsubishi Lancer, a quite recent gift from his owners. If he wasn’t caught up in work which usually meant aiming for someone’s head he would also go and pick his lover from work. And today Lucien was supposed to finish at 6. He was there on time like usual, waiting in the parking lot. His lover would come around 6:15 though as he was into the habit of staying behind and explaining stuff to the students that had questions about his lectures.

 

He opened the car window then he lit up a cigarette. He took a deep breath, inhaling the smoke then he let his hand slide outside, letting the ashes drop on the pavement. Lucien hated the smell so he at least tried not to get it all over the car.

 

After his third cigarette he checked the time again, it was past 6:30 which was unusual even for Lucien. He never was that late. Were his students that eager to hear more about Shakespeare? He got his phone out then texted him:

 

Hey babe are you done? I’m waiting for you in the parking lot.

 

He was also trying to cut on the nicotine intake but it was way too hard to quit. Lucien kept nagging at him regarding smoking but he had yet to kill the habit. It was easier to kill people than quit smoking. Even though he didn’t like to admit it he was stressed and impatient. Like waiting for his lover in that parking lot rendered him extremely bored so he couldn’t help but crave a smoke.

[Gladis]

If ever there was a time for Lucien to make peace with his past, it would be now. And yet, when Hayden answered his question, he found that he had been rendered completely speechless. Lucien had no idea what to say. All he could think about was how much Hayden had grown these last three years, and what a handsome young man he had turned into. How warm his hand felt as it tenderly traced over his own, and how much a part of him still yearned to share another passionate kiss.

 

Yet he could not. That much he knew for certain.

 

Lucien swallowed hard, preparing himself to speak when suddenly Hayden closed the distance between them, pulling him into a tight embrace. His body fell against Hayden’s, and for a split second they were back on the bridge in Paris, caressed by the mild summer nights breeze under the warm glow of the lanterns. Lucien breathed in the familiar scent of shampoo and cologne, his heart beating so hard that he could almost hear it. Before he knew it, he had wrapped his arms around Hayden as well, hugging him back. Oh, how a part of him wished they could stay there like that forever. It felt every bit as right as it had back then – or at least it would have, if not for the nagging voice in the back of his mind reminding him of the fact that they were no longer in Paris, that even if it felt the same it was not, and that Elliot was probably waiting for him outside. And so, it was Lucien that broke the embrace.

 

”I’m sorry, Hayden.” He took a deep breath, running a mildly frustrated hand through his hair. ”What happened three years ago… It was my fault, I shouldn’t have…” Somehow, he seemed to be struggling to find the right words. ”It was irresponsible of me to approach you like that. Even if you lied about your age, I should have known better. I shouldn’t have let desire get in the way of reason…” he trailed off, nervously twirling a lock of golden hair between his fingers. ”Because… it’s important to remember that’s what it was, Hayden. Desire and passion, perhaps even something akin to affection… but not love.”

 

It was right about then that his phone buzzed in his pocket. The screen of his smartwatch lit up, displaying Elliot’s message. He threw a quick glance at it before returning his attention to Hayden.

 

”You need to find someone who can love you, and I am not that person. I have moved on, and I think it would be best if you did so too.” With that out of the way he offered him a sad, almost regretful smile, before sliding the folder into his portfolio. ”Again, I’m very sorry. For everything.” Shutting the portfolio, he picked it up and quickly left the lecture hall, before he could change his mind. His chest felt painfully tight, as though someone had reached into it, wrapped their hand around his heart and squeezed. Yet he could not afford to turn around, for if he did, he knew he may not be able to leave. The last thing he wanted to do, was to risk ruining what he had with Elliot now. With that in mind, he pulled out his phone and typed a quick response.

 

On my way. Sorry honey, got held up by something. See you in a moment.

Cold winter air blasted against Lucien’s face as he stepped out into the parking lot. He shivered, pushing his hands into his pockets as he glanced around in search of his boyfriends car. The black Mitsubishi was parked only a small distance away, he was relieved to find, near one of the street lanterns. Frozen gravel crunched beneath his feet as he hurried over to the open window, only for his smile to turn into a frown.

 

”You know, I can smell it all the way from here…” There was a clear note of disappointment in his voice. Even so he leaned into the car to place a loving kiss on Elliot’s cheek. Normally he would have gone for his lips, but Lucien could not for the life of him stand the taste of cigarettes. Elliot knew this very well. Straightening up, he walked around the car to take the passenger seat.

 

”How was your day?” He asked softly.

[blastn3]

He could also feel Lucien’s arms slowly wrapping around his back and everything was just as back then. The nostalgy took him to the past, made him remember their first meeting and everything that went on after. The time flew so fast but at the same time it felt like forever, like they belonged together and like they already knew each other for a long time. It felt so good and so right to be with him. It was an addictive sweetness that always left him craving for more. He squeezed him even tighter and leaned his head on his shoulder, rubbing his nose on the soft skin and taking in more of his scent. He was still wearing the same cologne, the one that they picked up together.

 

But their moment didn’t last for long. The other man eventually let him go and pushed him away in not such a nice manner. The rush to get away and the fact that he didn’t bother to look at him made things pretty clear. Hayden could guess what would follow even before the other opened his mouth to say anything. The rejection was imminent but even so he was still hoping for something. It was foolish but he just couldn’t let that go.

 

Actually hearing the words hurt even more than he expected, every sentence came crashing at him. He didn’t want to accept what the other was saying and he tried to delusion himself because part of him knew the other was right. It happened three years ago and it only lasted for two weeks, how could it be more than just that? They even parted on bad terms. But it still hurt, every word pierced through him and he barely held in his tears when he said that wasn’t love. Maybe for Lucien it was just a summer fling, just another naïve boy that he fucked but for Hayden he was his first. He was the one that taught him about love and the one that made him discover his own sexuality, the only person that actually made him feel something and crave for more. For Hayden it was love and the teacher had no right to deny him that.

 

It was even more foolish to think that Lucien hasn’t already moved on, after all three years have passed, normal people move on during such a long period of time. Only Hayden was frozen in place and still clinging to the past. He couldn’t even muster the courage to hate on the man even though he was obviously suffering because of him. But even if he did hate him he would still be thinking about him. No matter what he did and no matter what he said he was still on his mind.

 

“You shouldn’t say sorry…it was beautiful. And for me it was love.”

He finally managed to say with a trembling voice while the other had his back turned on him and almost left the classroom. At first he thought of chasing after him but it was too soon, he needed time to process, most likely the teacher also needed time. And it hurt so freaking much that he couldn’t hold his tears anymore after the other man left. The tears rolled down on his cheeks then he just wiped them with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

“Fuck…”

he mumbled as he tried to calm down.

 

After a few minutes he also left. His thoughts were a mess and he could still feel the lingering ache. At the same time he was pissed that he couldn’t do more, he couldn’t make Lucien properly look at him because he was too nervous and lost. Did the other really move on? Was he actually embracing another man right now? Just the thought of that made his stomach turn.

 

When he arrived at the front gate a pair of hands were suddenly placed over his eyes from behind and startled him.

 

“The fuck? Joshua?”

He instantly screamed as he was pretty sure that no other sane person would want to scare him to death. Plus Joshua had that nasty habit of grabbing him from nowhere.

 

“Wrong. I’m joking. Of course it’s me.” He cheerfully said as he let him go and made his way next to him, starring at him like was some endangered specimen.

 

“Did you wait for me?”

 

“As you can see… Dude, are you ok? You seem all over the place.” Even though Joshua could be annoying at times he was still a decent guy. He actually stayed behind because Hayden was acting odd and he was worried.

 

“Honestly I’m not… I could use a beer right now.”

 

“Then it must be worse than I expected. Now seriously what’s the deal with you and that teacher? What is he to you?”

 

“I think I love him… still…“

 

_________________________________________________

 

 

“Sorry babe”

he answered as the other came over and kissed his cheek. Elliot could actually use a real kiss right now but he was aware the other hated the cigarette smell. He pretty much never got a kiss after smoking. Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy to quit especially when you’re on a surveillance job that requires you sitting still in a damn place for hours and watching some boring people. Like any genuine smoker Elliot also blamed it on his job.

 

After Lucien grabbed a seat beside him he started the car’s engine and drove off. He also turned on the heat as it was freezing outside and his lover wasn’t that fond of the cold.

 

“It was pretty chill at the office, nothing big going on this week. As you can see no overtime today and I could even pick you up. I’d say it was a good day. It’ll be even better when I’ll actually get a real kiss.”

He teased at the other. Even though they had their arguments regarding smoking Lucien wasn’t always that hell bent on it, sometimes he managed to steal some kisses from him even after smoking. But he had to work on it and actually do some convincing as the other man tended to avoid him in those situations.

 

“What about your day? Anything interesting happened? Did you seduce your students with Shakespeare so bad that they didn’t let you go?”

Elliot seemed dull and boring at first glance, especially when he was alone but he got quite lively around Lucien. Sometimes it wasn’t even because he was acting it out, he just got used to be around him and he could relax and speak freely. He was also into the habit of teasing and joking around with him.

 

As he was waiting for an answer and for the light to turn green he stretched his right arm over to his lover. He reached for his nape and started to massage it slowly with his fingers.

 

“Should we do something for the weekend? I have no big cases going on at work so there’s no overtime required. It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date. What do you say?”

 

The other seemed a bit out of it and was lost in thoughts, his answers were also delayed like he wasn’t paying much attention to Elliot.

 

“Babe, are you ok?”

He inquired using his worried tone.

[Gladis]

”Well, if it was kisses you wanted, perhaps you should have thought about that before putting those death sticks between your lips.” He shot Elliot a pointed glance. But then his expression softened and his lips curled into a tired smile. ”However, I’m glad your day was pleasant.”

 

When Elliot once again inquired about what had kept him so long, but this time in a slightly cheekier manner, Lucien couldn’t help but chuckle. ”Why but of course. What sane person would not be so fascinated by Shakespeare that they would want to keep discussing him, even long after class has ended. Should’ve told them to save it for the seminar…” he trailed off and his smile faded, a small frown beginning to crease his forehead. ”I suppose there was…” He hesitated. The car stopped in front of a traffic light, and Elliot took the opportunity to lean over and give his lover’s nape some much needed attention. Lucien knew that he was terribly stiff, and that was only partially related Hayden’s surprise visit.

 

”It’s just… there’s so much going on right now, you know? They keep giving us all of this administrative work. Sometimes it feels like there’s barely enough time for anything else. It’s like the guys upstairs don’t realize that it takes time to plan lectures.”

 

Of course, even if that was a genuine concern, it wasn’t what had occupied his mind right at that moment. It was Hayden. It shouldn’t have felt like such a huge deal, and yet for some reason, Lucien found himself unable to tell Elliot the truth. Perhaps because there was a part of himself that didn’t want to admit it. To admit how completely and utterly miserable he felt. Because how could he not? His words and actions had clearly hurt Hayden. Yet what else was he supposed to do? Sure, there was no denying that he could have handled the situation a bit more smoothly, but in the end, it all would all still have boiled down to the same thing – a rejection. And it always hurt to be rejected, no matter how gentle one tried to be about it. Lucien knew that as well as anyone, and perhaps it was time Hayden learned that too. Perhaps he was doing him a favor.

 

… Who was he even trying to fool? Lucien had broken the poor lad’s heart – surely that would not count as doing anyone any kind of favor. Yet he was also convinced that giving Hayden what he wanted – what perhaps even both of them wanted, would not have been a solution. Harsh as it may seem, it was better like this. Now that Hayden had been rejected, perhaps he would finally be able to move on. And Lucien… Lucien would not have to worry about being tempted into doing something he was sure that he would later regret.

 

Lucien didn’t realize that he’d been spacing out until Elliot asked him if he was okay. Blinking, he turned his head to look at his lover.

 

”I’m fine.” He said softly, even managing a rather convincing smile. ”Doing something together this weekend sounds good. Perhaps we could see a movie – is there anything on that you would like to see right now? And then maybe head out for dinner. I’ve still not been to that Tokyo Record Bar Nat told us about a while back...” he paused, regarding his lover carefully. ”Hey honey, how about tonight we just grab some takeaway from Wong’s? And then after we’ve eaten, I’ll give you your kisses. As many as you like.” His smile became cheekier as he reached over to gently stroke Elliot’s thigh. ”And whatever else you may desire..."

[blastn3]

When someone says they’re fine it’s usually quite the opposite and Elliot was more than aware of the fact that this also applied to his boyfriend. Being together for two years now he got to understand the other quite a bit and he could tell when he was lying and something was bothering him. He decided to give him some space though, maybe it wasn’t anything big enough that he couldn’t sort of by himself. He would inquire more about it later if his lover couldn’t handle it.

 

“I think I saw poster somewhere advertising

What keeps you alive

. It looked cool maybe we can watch that? Or if you’re interested in something else we can watch it, you know I’m not that big on movies.”

He actually lied as he really wanted to see that movie because it was dark and he could relate to it, to the story. It was about a lesbian couple and about one of them finding out the truth about her lover, that the person she loved wasn’t who she thought and had some dark secrets. It was a bit like their situation, Elliot was hiding things from Lucien and was leading a secret double life. He said he was ok with watching something else as he learned the hard way that you have to accommodate people and compromise if you want to keep a relationship going.

 

“As for getting dinner, sure. I mean it’s been a while since we went out to eat so I’m game. We can also hit that bar that Nat is so keen on. I mean anything would be better than working or staying cooped up inside.”

If his research was correct nothing could kill off a relationship faster than routine and not doing things together anymore. So his mission was clear, he had to entertain his lovers and keep him close. Well spending time together wasn’t that bad anyway as he also got the chance to relax. Lucien was definitely not a bad company and it still felt weird that he somehow looked forward to being close to him.

 

“Alright then I’ll stop by Wong’s.”

He said as he took a different turn so that they could pass by the restaurant first. Fortunately it had a drive-thru so they didn’t have to get out of the car. He didn’t bother to ask his lover what he wanted because they always ordered the usual, if it was Wong’s then they both knew it meant they’ll have Kung Pao Chicken. They patiently waited for their order in the car.

 

A smirk formed in the corner of his mouth when he felt Lucien’s hand on his thigh and he heard his indecent proposal. He placed his right hand over his and squeezed his fingers.

 

“How about I get that kiss now? It’s either that or grabbing another cigarette, you know I like to keep my mouth busy.”

He asked playfully then he leaned over and pressed his lips against his lover’s and gave him a peck. He retreated back to his seat but he still maintained eye contact. The looks they exchanged sent a pretty clear message about how that wasn’t enough.

 

“You know how greedy I’m, right? I’ll obviously take everything you have to offer.”

 

He grabbed his chin with his hand to drag him closer and hold him still. He licked his lips and slowly parted them with his tongue in order to gain access to his hot mouth. His tongue slid inside and pressed against his lover’s, rubbing against it.

[Gladis]

”What Keeps You Alive? It’s that action thriller, right? I’ve heard good things about it, so why not?” Lucien leaned over to place another kiss on Elliot’s cheek. Honestly, he was just happy that they had gotten to a point where his lover actually expressed his own wishes and desires. Sometimes it felt like he was so focused on pleasing Lucien and keeping him happy, that he completely took himself out of the equation. Perhaps it was all just in Lucien’s head, but there were these moments when he almost got the sense that Elliot prioritized the longevity of their relationship over their mutual happiness. As for as Lucien was concerned, Elliot embodied everything that made a perfect partner. Yet sometimes, he almost seemed a little too perfect; A little too agreeable – with everything except for the smoking, he supposed.

 

”Are you blackmailing me?” He mused, unable to hold back laughter as he felt Elliot’s lips brush against his own. ”Perhaps I should just always bribe you with sex. You go a day without smoking and I let you fuck my brains out, how’s that sound?” He grinned cheekily as Elliot grabbed his chin and pulled him into another kiss. His tongue felt hot and raw as it rubbed against his own, overflowing his senses with a taste of tobacco and smoke. Yet instead of pulling back, Lucien returned it with equal hunger, moving his hand to teasingly stroke the inside of Elliot’s thigh. He twisted in his seat to get a better angle, and it was right about then that he realized they weren’t quite as private as they had felt.

 

The blushing teen in the window cleared his throat and Lucien almost immediately pulled back.

 

”U-uhm… sirs, your order…” The boy nervously held out a paper bag.

 

Feeling incredibly amused and perhaps a just a tiny bit embarrassed, Lucien leaned over to grab it.

 

”Thank you, and good evening.”

 

Lucien inclined his head and smiled at him. ”Good evening.” The window closed and they were once again on the road. ”Come on, darling, let’s hurry on home…” he said, with only a hint of impatience in his voice.

[blastn3]

Just when things got more heated up their order was ready and a blushing boy interrupted their fun. That was a shame really, he would’ve wanted more for sure. Lucien being a bit shy about the whole situation was a rather funny sight though. Unlike his lover Elliot had what you would call loose morals and wasn’t that bothered by other’s people opinions. You would expect that from a hitman, going to church and confessing his sins wasn’t a part of his life.

 

“Are you that horny babe? Do you perhaps like being watched?”

He teased as the earlier incident was still fresh in his mind.

“I’m sure we can find a delivery guy that will watch us doing it for 20 bucks.”

He was taking this a bit too far but he just couldn’t help his amusement. Teasing his lover and watching his reactions was quite of a guilty pleasure.

 

He was still paying attention to the road though as they were driving home. They were living in the central area in a three rooms apartment. The design and the furniture were on the elegant simple side as fancy and glamorous didn’t suit Elliot’s tastes. He owned the apartment after all, he bought it when he started dating Lucien. He used to live in a single room before but he figured that getting a lover would eventually mean moving in together so he’ll need more space in the future. He made the purchase just on time and his lover didn’t even get the chance to see his old home.

 

They arrived in about ten minutes. He left the car in the underground parking lot then they took the elevator. Twenty-first floor was their destination. He went so high because he loved the view and also greatly appreciated the intimacy it came with.

 

After they went inside he left his coat in the hanger and dropped the food on the kitchen’s counter. He came back to the living room watching his lover leave his portfolio on the small table. The living room was spacious and had an amazing view to the city as the exterior walls were made only of glass. Apart from that they also had two bedrooms and they were obviously using just one of them. Their place was cozy and classy.

 

He sat on the sofa then he grabbed Lucien’s hand dragging him towards him then making him sit on his lap. His hands went on his sides, tracing their way down to his waist. He made eye contact then he kissed him, sucking on his lips. One of his hands slid under his shirt, touching his abdomen and then slowly going up to his chest.

 

“Babe, are you sure you want to have dinner first?”

He asked then he playfully bit on his chin.

[Gladis]

If getting an amusing reaction out of Lucien was what Elliot intended when he jokingly suggested that they could probably get some delivery guy to watch them during sex, he had succeeded beautifully. Flustered heat rose to Lucien’s cheeks, and he leaned over to lightly elbow his boyfriend in the side.

 

”Don’t be silly.” He grumbled, not entirely sure he was ready to admit that the idea kind of turned him on. Lucien wasn’t generally of the prudish kind. He may have given people the impression that he was all prim and proper, but anyone who managed to get him behind closed doors would soon learn that he was anything but. He supposed there were some situations where even he had to draw a line, however. Especially when he was with someone like Elliot, who’s daring nature never ceased to surprise him. Even if he had said it as a joke, it really wouldn’t have surprised Lucien at all if he was at least a little bit serious. And honestly? That was kind of an aspect of Elliot’s that he really appreciated. It meant that he could be himself without having to worry about being judged. Elliot, after all, was even crazier than him.

 

Lucien chuckled softly. ”I mean hot, sure, but also so wildly inappropriate, I don’t even know where to begin explaining to you why that would be a terrible idea.” Although he supposed that precisely the fact that it was inappropriate and and a terrible idea must have been part of the appeal.

 

At the very least it had helped him take his mind off the days previous events. By the time they were standing in the elevator, Lucien’s was so preoccupied with the thought of how much he wanted to jump Elliot’s bones, that he’d almost forgotten all about it. It seemed that he was not alone with that sentiment, because they had barely made it across the threshold and taken off their outer wear when Elliot suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him onto his lap. His lips were claimed in a kiss that would have been so much sweeter, if not for the fact that he still tasted of tobacco, and a pair of warm hands slid underneath his shirt, sending a slight shudder down his spine.

 

”Oh?” He arched an eyebrow, placing one hand on Elliot’s cheek while slowly trailing the other down his clothed torso. Desire and mischief burned in his cerulean gaze. ”But honey, it’s generally considered bad form to have your dessert before dinner…” he mused, teasingly hooking his fingers into the waistband of his lover’s trousers as he leaned in for another kiss. Lucien pushed his tongue between his lips, eager to explore every nook of cranny of his wet, hot cavern. And as tongues danced and saliva was exchanged, he slowly began rolling his hips against Elliot’s, his hand dropping down to grab onto the fabric of his shirt.

 

”Perhaps…” Lucien murmured as he pulled back in order to catch his breath, ”perhaps we could make an exception, just for tonight.”

[blastn3]

Elliot let a grunt escape his lips when Lucien started to rub his hips against him as that turned him on even more. He also got a bit horny in the car when they shared a kiss and his lover kept teasing his thigh but right now it was past beyond that as he’s already got a full on erection pushing against the material of his pants.

 

“Fuck… I don’t care babe. I’m getting that dessert now!”

He whispered with lust in his voice and wanton eyes.

 

His hand continued its journey toward his chest where he found his nipple. His finger pressed and rubbed against the tip of his nipple until it hardened under his touch then he started squeezing it between his fingers and pulling it upwards. He put the other hand on his lower back and used it to bring him closer again as he had pulled back a bit earlier.

 

He rested his head on his shoulder and pushed his neck on the side in order to gain more access. His lips traced the soft skin then his tongue came out and slid over it, leaving a wet trail behind. He captured the tender skin between his lips and started sucking on it, pushing against it with his tongue and leaving crimson marks all over his neck. Maybe he didn’t look the part as his face was almost always dull and showed no expression but he was quite possessive and he loved nothing more than marking his property. To be honest Lucien was the only person that made his face nuanced. The only person that actually made him want something, the only person he didn’t get tired of fucking everyday.

 

“Your nipple got so freaking hard… I want to see it.”

He said with a teasing tone then lifted the shirt over his chest, revealing his perky nipples. The one he teased earlier was also a bit red as his touch was quite firm and greedy.

“You’re such a pervert, asking for attention in such an indecent way.”

 

Elliot lowered his head and pressed his lips against his nipple. He opened his mouth and took the nipple in, sliding his hot tongue over it then started to insistently suck on it. Tasting the other’s flesh with his mouth always gave him great pleasure and made his member twitch in his pants and get bigger. He used his fingers to tease the other nipple that seemed a bit lonely as it didn’t get any attention yet.

[Gladis]

”Such a bad boy, aren’t you?” Lucien chuckled softly, gently stroking his thumb over Elliot’s cheek as he gazed into those beautiful bright green orbs of wonder. They had always reminded Lucien of late spring, for they were the same shade of deep green you’d find in the grass and on leaves around that time of year. He loved them – almost as much as he loved the man himself.

 

”Well…” he murmured breathlessly, trying very hard to keep his voice under control. Elliot’s hands felt so hot against his skin, and the rubbing and pinching of his nipple hardly helped. ”I suppose I’ve always had a thing for bad boys…”

 

Allowing himself to be pulled closer, Lucien let out a wanton groan, enjoying the sensation Elliot’s tongue and lips against the smooth skin of his neck. His grip on his lovers shirt tightened and he bit down on his bottom lip, feeling dizzy with arousal. He breathed in sharply as he felt Elliot’s lips wrap around his nipple, falling forward slightly as he was raised up. His arm snaked around Elliot’s shoulder, his fingers burying themselves in his lovers messy, ginger hair.

 

”Oh honey,” he laughed, leaning down to gently nibble on the lobe of Elliot’s ear, ”we both know who’s the real pervert here.” he moved slightly so that he could gain better access to Elliot’s trousers, fumbling to get the button and zipper open. Then he slipped his hand inside, rubbing it against the taunt fabric around his bulge. ”Will you look at that? Looks like my nipples aren’t the only things that are hard…” He grinned, tightening his grip on it slightly as he leaned in so close that they were practically breathing the same air. ”Won’t you let this baby out so I can get a taste of it?”