Unuttered Words Behind Sealed Lips

[ivanced]

Have you ever had the feeling that there are words behind your lips that are longing to be said? The feeling that those few, simple words, when uttered, would determine your fate? You feel scared that when these silent voices escape your tongue, you may not like what fate has in store for you. You feel afraid that when they remain unsaid, you will have to do with what you have, live a lie, and die with a secret.

 

Is that what you want?... to live a lie and die with a secret?...

I know... It's hard, isn't it?

 

It has already happened to me as you may have already foretold. An instant in my life when i couldn't stop the unheard whispers playing under my tongue to speak out:

 

I revealed them slowly to a friend... "i love you"... A sudden cold, chilling sensation enveloped me. Confused, i felt, in the awkward moment of silence that seemed to have lasted forever when it only did for a few seconds. I couldn't breathe properly. My heartbeat was getting louder and louder until it was all i can hear. It felt as if i was going to die. This is when i know that the words i spilled that night was not right. NO! It was not a lie! I really do love him. Yet, it was wrong because i know... FELT... that he does not accept my love.

 

It was hard for him... but it was even harder for me, to have finally said the words i longed to say and realize that they have only gone to waste. it hurts more than you can imagine. It tore the soul out of me. *sigh*...

 

Days turned into weeks and weeks to months... Still, no word from him. Time was slowly turning me into as fragile article. I was already about to break when the God-given day came... we have finally talked to each other.

 

Up to now we still do. We're friends again, actually. The sad part? We NEVER talk about the words i chose to reveal to him. I guess we'll never will.

 

No one can really tell what happens next after the words are finally told. Unless you let them out, the world will remain a blur with a shadow of an UNSURE YOU living in it.

 

Although it still stings...

 

i can say that i did not regret what I've told him that night.

[K]

woah!

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WHY DO MY EYES, as if it wants to cry???

 

 

it's sad

 

[ivanced]

ahaha.. Cloud... Cry if those eyes tell you too!!!

 

I guess most of us can relate to this one, getting our hearts broken because of unrequited love...

[K]

ahaha.. Cloud... Cry if those eyes tell you too!!!

 

I guess most of us can relate to this one, getting our hearts broken because of unrequited love...

 

 

. .honestly, i've never been in love (maybe in the future) XD , love is still not in my head right now, but just reading your experiences, it really touch me, and i don't know why, maybe it's because, I REALLY FEEL every word you utter, it's like you're telling it to me

[yojichan]

I love the way you wrote this ivanced.

it's so poetic and i know it's supposed to be something painful but the way you wrote made it seductive.

i like that. you could say i'm kind of a junkie for this type of style of writing.

i sense the passion.

very nice. very sexy.

 

i do have a lot of words that have been unuttered for fear of so many zillion reasons. some i wished i had said and some i am relieved i had kept it all to myself.

i've had instances that after i have said the words, the magic of its secrecy simply faded away like smoke and i am left standing there like a total idiot. the romance i had in my mind meant nothing after i opened my mouth. i should have kept it for myself and live in my beautiful fantasy instead.

 

there are things that still hold its magic when only shared to a handful of people i completely trust.

their confidence alone is enough to calm me down.

i don't need the entire world to know how i feel.

that alone should suffice.

 

[ivanced]

Yojichan,

 

You are quite a poet yourself. haha.. You are very welcome.

I guess the two of us has our own way of dealing with the "unuttered words"

 

I chose to let it out... while you choose to keep it in.

 

I'm glad you think it's nice.

[yojichan]

Yojichan,

 

You are quite a poet yourself. haha.. You are very welcome.

I guess the two of us has our own way of dealing with the "unuttered words"

 

I chose to let it out... while you choose to keep it in.

 

I'm glad you think it's nice.

 

oh my goodness! thank you so much.

i do admire your courage for choosing to let out your feelings towards someone despite all the trepidation that goes along with it.

there is a lot of beauty in courage. it's a very commendable quality in a person.

i have been in fear for so long and i am trying to work through the painful vines of it.

i have someone very special in my life now and i never hesitate to make this person feel so loved by me.

i don't wanna make the same mistakes. i wanna make new ones and i wanna feel everything with this person.

there's a glorious pleasure in that, i think.

i wish you nothing but the best and relish the courage you have.

i think it's a powerful thing to be.