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I'ts JOKE Time


alex020
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-Why not share some good JOKEs u have there:

 

Heres Mine Hope You'll Like it: (Share)

 

SEX and AGE:

 

I’ve read somewhere that based on RESEARCH:

The sex urge of a man greatly depends on his age.

For example:

Aged 18 – 25 (twice a day)

Aged 26 – 35 (daily)

Aged 36 – 55 (tri-weekly)

Aged 56 and over (try weakly)

 

..lol...

 

I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

 

MNfDYzjaRZNZG-naj4qWZg62153

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instead of a joke

 

i'll hit some pick-up lines

 

-ehem-

 

 

PuL 1

 

"Do you have a map?

 

'coz

 

I keep getting lost in your eyes."

PuL 2

 

"Are you on facebook?

 

'coz

 

I'd definitely click Like."

 

PuL 3

 

"Are you a Google?

 

'coz

 

I find everything in you."

 

PuL 4

 

"Are you an algebra?

 

can you

 

SUBSTITUTE my 'x' ?"

 

PuL 5

 

"I know you're not a camera,

 

but

 

everytime i see you

 

I always SMILE."

 

PuL 6

"Kiss me if i'm wrong...

 

but isn't your name (take a guess)?"

 

PuL 7

 

"Sorry, i forgot your name

 

can I call you mine?"

 

-nyaha!-

 

-cheesy-

 

XD

 

 

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In Scandinavia we have these jokes about the Norwegian, the Dane and the Swede.

 

The Norwegian, the Dane and the Swede were arguing about which of their countries had the tallest houses.

 

The Dane said "Our houses are so tall, the planes have to fly zig zag between them."

 

The Swede then boasted "That's nothing! Our houses are so tall that if you want to get to the top floor, you have to take the elevator in the morning to arrive by nightfall."

 

The Norwegian then thought about it for a moment, then he said "Our houses are so tall, if a small boy falls out of the window on the top floor, he will hit the ground as a pensioner."

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A Norwegian is sitting in a cafe eating breakfast. A swede is sitting next to him, chewing gum.

 

The Swede starts a conversation "Do you Norwegians really eat the whole bread?"

 

The Norwegian reluctantly looks up from his breakfast, and answers "Yes, of course."

 

The Swede plays with the chewing gum in his mouth "We don't do that. In Sweden we only eat the inside of the bread. The rest is gathered in a container, made into croissants and sold to Norway."

 

The Norwegian is hardly listening. The Swede smiles and asks another question "Do you also eat jam(jelly) on your bread?"

 

The Norwegian answers, slightly annoyed "Yes, we do."

 

The Swede chews the gum between his teeth and says " In sweden we don't do that. In Sweden we always eat fresh fruit with our breakfast. The peel and the rests are gathered in a container, made into jam(jelly) and sold to Norway."

 

Now it is the Norwegian's turn to ask.

 

"Tell me one thing," says the Norwegian "Do you also have sex in Sweden?"

 

The Swede smiles and answers "Of course we have sex in Sweden!"

 

The Norwegian leans across the table and asks "What do you do with the used condoms?"

 

"We throw them away." replies the Swede.

 

Now the Norwegian grins.

 

"We don't. In Norway, all used condoms are gathered in a container, melted down, and sold to Sweden as chewing gum!"

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A Norwegian is sitting in a cafe eating breakfast. A swede is sitting next to him, chewing gum.

 

The Swede starts a conversation "Do you Norwegians really eat the whole bread?"

 

The Norwegian reluctantly looks up from his breakfast, and answers "Yes, of course."

 

The Swede plays with the chewing gum in his mouth "We don't do that. In Sweden we only eat the inside of the bread. The rest is gathered in a container and made into croissants and sold to Norway."

 

The Norwegian is hardly listening. The Swede smiles and asks another question "Do you also eat jam(jelly) on your bread?"

 

The Norwegian answers, slightly annoyed "Yes, we do."

 

The Swede chews the gum between his teeth and says " In sweden we don't do that. In Sweden we always eat fresh fruit with our breakfast. The peel and the rests are gathered in a container, made into jam(jelly) and sold to Norway."

 

Now it is the Norwegian's turn to ask.

 

"Tell me one thing," says the Norwegian "Do you also have sex in Sweden?"

 

The Swede smiles and anwers "Of course we have sex in Sweden!"

 

The Norwegian leans across the table and asks "What do you do with the used condoms?"

 

"We throw them away." replies the Swede.

 

Now the Norwegian grins.

 

"We don't. In Norway, all used condoms are gathered in a container, melted down, and sold to Sweden as chewing gum!"

 

 

I KNOW THIS ONE (well,in other version,but I know it) LMAO!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Daughter: "Hey daddy, what's sex?"

 

Dad: "Well...uh...*explains it into detail*"

 

Daughter: O0O;;;;;;

 

Dad: "uh...why do you ask?"

 

Daughter: "Mom said dinner will be done in a few secs"

 

Dad: o-o .....

 

Hehe c:

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...
  • 1 year later...

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.

 

 

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

 

f_e6c831219d0c2a155c118edda997312e.jpg

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