A Pure Twist (Misu x Shingyouji)

[Last_sky16]

CHARACTERS

 

 

• Arata Misu - yojichan
   
  
   
   
   
  
• Shingyouji Kanemitsu - Last_sky16
  

 

 

INTRO

 

We'll never know how precious that person is till we lost them..or they suddenly...lost us???...

 

The memories of us,

have now disappeared...

The things we shared,

have now gone...

It all started with one word,

The word that killed the memories of us...

I WANT YOU BACK

 

It all started that day.

The day Misu never thought he would encounter

All this time he thought he could play with words.

But never thought of its consequence

He thought his words would not hurt his pet's feelings.

He thought God won't punish him.

and now he knew...

HE WAS WRONG...

[yojichan]

It was a good thing the cafe was not filled with customers. There were just the two of them and a very few who occupied a few tables around. It was getting late in the afternoon. It was also a bit humid outside.

 

Misu massaged his forehead in irritation. He could hear Shingyouji still talking but he was not listening anymore. He sighed. He felt this setup they had was going nowhere. Didn't he realize that keeping up with all this was not going to be easy for both of them? Fine..so he misses me. Now what? It's not like my life should revolve around him. This is nuts! Damn university! Damn assignments! Damn everyone! Damn it!

 

He restlessly drummed his fingers on the table. His cup of coffee turning cold. He takes a glance at Shingyouji who was still talking but his mind was elsewhere. This can't be happening. I can't do this anymore. This is too much.

 

Fuck.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

"Shingyouji, it's over. Let's break up." Misu clasped his fingers and leaned his forehead. Squeezing his eyes shut. Avoiding Shingyouji's face.

[Last_sky16]

Today is like the sun rose in Shingyouji's lonely heart. He misses his Arata-san so much. Too much till he can't even stop thinking of him even for one day. This is their first date ever since Misu graduated from Shidou.

 

He understands that his Arata-san is busy with his new university life but he couldn't hold himself back from missing him. So he made a decision to call him. Imagine how happy he was when Misu told him that he wants to meet him at a cafe they used to go.

 

Oh, my goodness! I am too happy and I couldn't stop myself from talking, Shingyouji said in his heart. He knew that Misu doesn't like to talk much but still he is just being himself. He is just being Shingyouji. He's feeling overjoyed by this but suddenly...

 

"Let's break up."

 

"What? What did you just say Arata-san?"

 

What is happening? Am I dreaming? God, please tell me I am dreaming.

[yojichan]

There had been so many ways that Misu pictured how it would all play out. He didn't set forth to break Shingyouji's heart. He was special. He probably would always be but the more he thought about it, the more he realized this is not what he wanted to be for the both of them. It was not fair and he knew Shingyouji would never dream of breaking up with him. He had to do something to end all this before it got any worse.

 

I'd rather be the bad guy here. I'd rather he hate me now than live a lie like this. I cannot keep pretending I care when I cannot give myself enough. Shingyouji, this will never be enough for you. You will always want more of me. What the hell am I supposed to do?

 

The silence between them was deafening. Neither of them said a word after Shingyouji's shocked response. From across the table, Misu looked straight into Shingyouji's face and he knew the damage was already done.

[Last_sky16]

The silence between them is really confusing for Shingyouji. He has no idea what kind of situation he is in right now. His heart is beating really fast till it is really hard for him to breathe. Misu remained silent and caused Shingyouji to feel even more anxious of what truly is happening. His smooth, fair and innocent face now turned red. He understands nothing in this situation. He needs to know. He needs an answer. The answer to the hows and whys. The answer to the words that just came out from the mouth of the person who means so much to him.

 

 

Shingyouji then breaks the silence between them. "Am I to be blamed, Arata-san? Is this all my fault? I am sorry, Arata-san. Are you angry with me? What did I do to make you pissed off like this? Tell me! What did I do?" Shingyouji asked.

 

All this time he thought he could finally feel safe. He thought he is the one for him. He thought he belongs to him. No more insecurities. No more sadness of being abandoned. No more loneliness and longing. No more of all this nonsense. None.

 

"Arata-san, ANSWER ME!" Shingyouji is now desperately trying to get the answer from his Arata-san. He tries to hold Misu's hand to get his attention.

[yojichan]

How many times has Shingyouji reached for his hands like this? Misu thought as he looked at Shingyouji's slender fingers. He always had the tendency to touch him, tap on the shoulder, a sudden hug, a stolen kiss, a meaningful glance in his direction. Memories of their days in Shidou started tumbling in his mind in rapid succession. He felt his teeth chatter a bit. His jaw clenched. He swallowed.

 

But that was all a fantasy back then. This is the reality that they are facing now. This isn't about who did what to whom. Misu realized he could not do this anymore. Not to him.

 

"This isn't real, Shingyouji. You understand? Life in Shidou was different. When you get out of it, it's a much different world out here. Besides, you don't need me. I am not what you want. You deserve..." Misu paused, wasn't sure if he could continue with his line of speech. Did he really want Shingyouji to be with someone else? But the more he thought about it, the more he thought of the pain he was causing. No. Not fair. They have to separate.

 

".....to be with someone else. You didn't do anything wrong. But we need to stop this before we hurt each other even more. You do understand that, don't you?" It sounded more like a desperate plea to Misu. He knew he wasn't making enough sense to be understood by Shingyouji but what else could he do?

 

He looked away. He could not bear the look Shingyouji was giving him. He took a quick glance at the other people around the cafe and wondered if anyone seemed suspicious of him and Shingyouji together. No one seemed to look like it which calmed his nerves a bit.

 

All what was left to do now was brace himself how Shingyouji would react to what he just said. Misu was beginning to regret if it was a good idea to meet in the cafe. The tension in his heart kept rising by the second.

[Last_sky16]

Shingyouji could only look at his lover's face with wistful eyes. He understands nothing. Why? Why now, Arata-san? This isn't real? What? What is not real? Shingyouji could not say it out loud. He tried but his voice is blocked by his thoughts. His head is now feeling dizzy but one question suddenly etched from his lips out of a sudden.

 

"Do you have someone else, Arata-san? " he asked. His voice is now changing roughly. "I get it now, Arata-san. I was worth nothing to you, isn't it? After all this time and all the things we have shared together means nothing to you, right? What did you just say? I deserve someone else? That is RIDICULOUS!! I love you with all of my heart, Arata-san. I only have you in my mind. HOW COULD YOU? I can't let you go, Arata-san. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ARATA-SAN! I don't think I can let you go. " Shingyouji said again. He couldn't take it anymore. He doesn't care if other people hears them.

 

His head is now spinning around and his chest tightening. Misu's words are too much for him but he must hold on. He needs him in his life and he can't just step back like that. No, not now.

 

His whole body is now shivering. He is trying as hard as possible not to let the tears drip down from his eyes.

 

"Oh God..."

[yojichan]

"SHINGYOUJI!" Misu hissed. He quickly grabbed Shingyouji's wrist to keep him from shaking too much. He glanced around the coffee shop to check if anyone noticed the outburst. The customers were looking into their direction. He could see them talking amongst themselves.

 

Shit.

 

Misu mentally cursed himself for deciding for them to meet in such a public place. Maybe they should have done this somewhere private. But where exactly? He didn't want to go to Shidou. He definitely didn't want to take Shingyouji to where he was staying either. Shit. Shit. Shit. Now everyone in this damn coffee shop has been a witness to some lover's quarrel. Damn it!

 

The frown in Misu's face was evident. He was annoyed as hell but somehow he managed to try to sound as calm as possible in the otherwise tense situation. "Try to calm down, will you? Look, I know this is not easy for you. Believe me, this isn't easy for me either. I'm not saying that I don't care. We just have to end this for both our sakes. Damn it...I don't have someone else." He eased his grip on Shingyouji's wrist. He felt an incoming headache and he impatiently massaged his forehead.

 

The usually articulate Misu was running out of words to say to the situation. He didn't blame the younger man for the outburst. It was a natural human response. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. He still could not bear to watch Shingyouji crumbling right before him. He had to be strong.

 

"I'm so sorry, Shingyouji...."

 

Before Misu could utter another word, the scene that followed next is about to change both their lives forever.

[Last_sky16]

Shingyouji pulls away his hand from Misu. His heart is in pain. His head is feeling dizzy. He can't even think of anything right now. He can't take it anymore. This is too much for him. This is too much.

 

He betrayed me. He betrayed my love. He was just playing with me all this time. I am nothing but his toy. I am just a pet. I am just an idiot!! I hate you, Arata-san, I hate YOU!!! Shingyouji screamed in his heart loudly.

 

"No, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore, Arata-san. You are such a LIAR. I knew it. I knew that you were just pretending. LIAR!!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!!" Shingyouji suddenly shouts. He can't even think straight anymore right now. His body is now shivering madly. His eyes are now blurred by his tears. He grasps his hand tightly. He doesn't care anymore.

 

"I WISH I NEVER MET YOU IN MY LIFE, ARATA-SAN! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!" He shouts at Misu wholeheartedly before storming out from the cafe as fast as he could. He runs away without thinking of anything. His mind is now empty. His heart is in pain. His heart is wounded.

 

The pain, the tears, the memories, the smiles, the warmth.

 

Arata-san, I want you to vanish away from my mind, my memories, my heart. I want you to disappear.

 

Suddenly...

[yojichan]

Misu watched in horror at the scene that flashed before him. It didn't make any sense. One moment they were still talking and the next moment, things seemed to happen painfully slow. He felt frozen. He could not hear a thing. Everything around him was muted except for a loud piercing continuous beep that would not go away.

 

He saw Shingyouji ran too fast but not fast enough to elude the oncoming car that was headed his way. Why wasn't he looking? He didn't have to run away from me. Things like this don't happen in real life. His mind was begging to be convinced that this sort of thing only happened in the movies or manga. They don't happen to people like Shingyouji.

 

DEAR GOD...NO!!!!

 

Misu could now hear his own labored breathing as he sprinted towards Shingyouji. The horrified witnesses around the scene of the accident were still muted to his ears. Shingyouji's body slamming onto the front of the car and bouncing off like a doll only to land 10 feet away at the curb. People started to approach the body.

 

Finally, Misu screamed.

 

With that scream, everything around him began to speed up. He could hear everything. The noise. The panic. The smell of fear in the air. The women shrieking. Men yelling for help. Children crying. Tires screeching. People's footsteps around him. People talking all at once. He knew better than to move the body. He feared if he moved Shingyouji, he would risk further internal damage. He shouted at everyone to move away from him. He stayed beside him until the ambulance and the police arrived momentarily.

 

The only thing he could do was hold his hand. It was still warm but unresponsive. He prayed that it would always be warm. There was still a pulse, only it was much too weak. Don't let go, Shingyouji. You're not leaving me like this. Not like this. This is not how it's supposed to be.

 

He watched as the EMTs slipped a neck brace and carefully moved Shingyouji's body onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. Misu immediately joined them inside. The trip to the hospital was quick but to Misu it felt like they had to race through time. Shingyouji has already lost consciousness since the impact and was now deteriorating by the minute.

 

As soon as they arrived the Emergency department, his body was immediately taken away. Misu tried to go after them but was held back by a nurse.

 

"Sir, I need you to calm down. You may stay here at the waiting area. I will need you to answer some questions for me regarding the patient." The nurse's tone was gentle yet firm. She could see the panic and fear in the man's eyes.

 

Misu nodded as the nurse guided him to take a seat.

 

"Sir...what is your relationship with the patient who was brought here?" The nurse glanced at him as she pulled out her pen from her pocket as she was about to write on the record sheet.

 

The shock in Misu's body was finally wearing off. He was hunched at his seat as he nervously started biting his thumb nail. The tears that refused to flow during the entire ordeal was now rolling down his cheeks unstoppably. He dared not look into the nurse's face. His eyes remained focused on the floor.

 

"Sir...?" The nurse gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

 

Amidst the tears and the horrible shakiness of his voice, Misu could only manage to utter a few words..

 

"He's...he's all I've got."

[Last_sky16]

“BAAMMMM!!!”

 

 

Shingyouji could feel his body flying in the air before things turned fuzzy and then everything went black. He could hear a person’s voice calling for his name but his mind is already somewhere else. Things blurred. He felt like he was on the clouds. Everything became so light. His mind, his body and his soul. Everything.

 

He then slowly opens his eyes. He looks around and everything seems so bright. He is now lying in a very strange place. He is surrounded by a blinding bright light. He rubs his eyes and tries to stand up. His head is still spinning around and he is feeling dizzy. He is staggering in confusion.

 

Where am I? What happened to me? Am I dead? He asks himself before he walks around to see whether he could find any clue but there’s none. The place is empty and the only thing surrounding it is the bright white light and nothing else. Shingyouji is feeling anxious of where he is now. He suddenly feels like running. The insecurities begin to surround him all of a sudden. He hates this feelings. The feelings of being left alone. He then starts to run around searching the unknown. He keeps running until he stops his steps.

 

An old house stands before him which he knows deeply in his heart. This place is the only place that he always wanted to be. He is feeling overwhelmed by what he is seeing right now. He then quickly walks nearer to the house. The door is unlocked. He is lucky, he thinks. Shingyouji then slowly opens the door.

 

“Ojii-chan? Obaa-chan? Is there anybody here?” asked Shingyouji as soon as he steps inside the house. Yes, finally he’s back here. He is back to his grandparents’ house. The only place that is full of warmth and love in his life. The place which he loves the most. But the house is empty and quiet. Shingyouji tries to look around to see whether there’s someone else in here but he finds no one. He then proceeds to his favourite place in the house which is his own room. The very special room to him.

 

He opens the door and looks around. All of the sweet memories are still here even the pictures and the toys. He then bends down to reach for a doll. It is his favourite doll. A small smile is etched on his red lips.. It has been so long since he saw that doll. He still remembers that his grandpa bought that doll for his 8th birthday. His heart suddenly tightened. His eyes are blurred by the tears. He feels like his life is now surrounded by the loneliness. Ever since his grandpa passed away, this place is not bright as it used to be. I wish Ojii-chan is still here. Why did you leave me? This is so unfair, Shingyouji says to himself.

 

“What is it so unfair, Shingyouji-chan?” a voice suddenly asked him. He knew that voice. The voice that he misses the most. Shingyouji then turns around to his right. That figure, that face, the smile, the warmth. “Ojii-chan!!!” he shouted out of joy. He then gets up and hugs his grandpa tightly. “God, am I dreaming? Ojii-chan, I miss you so much.” Shingyouji cries before releasing.

 

“I miss you too, Shingyouji, and why are crying? You promised me that you will be stronger. You also promised me that you will find your own happiness no matter what happens. Have you forgotten about your promise?” asks the old man gently. Shingyouji once made a promise that he will grow up as a stronger person to his grandpa. But things happened against him and thus made him even weaker.

 

“No, ojii-chan. I haven’t forgotten about our promise. But it is really hard. Everything seems very hard. I keep chasing my own happiness and still I couldn’t get it. Maybe there is no happiness for me. Maybe I don’t deserve it.” Shingyouji cried. He looks down to hide his face. His tears starts to flow unstoppably. But then he feels a warm hand reaching for his face. His grandpa holds his face up making Shingyouji look directly into his eyes. His voice is now firm. “Look at me, Shingyouji. Don’t you ever say anything like that ever again. Everybody deserves happiness in their life. Be stronger. There’s no need for you to chase it. Your happiness is already here. Now, all you have to do is wake up and let it come to you. Understand , Shingyouji?” explained his grandpa briefly.

Shingyouji blinks his eyes. My happiness is already here? Wake up? What does that mean?

“But ojii-chan…” before he could continue his words. He suddenly hears a voice calling his name. He turns and tries to find the voice. That voice sounds familiar to him. It is a man's voice. But whose voice is that?

 

“Ojii-chan..?” He looks back to his grandpa but that old man is nowhere around. The house is also gone. He is back to where he is just now. What is happening? Ojii-chan, where are you? Don’t leave me alone.

 

He then closes his eyes.

[yojichan]

Misu was not the kind of man that got scared easily. He had been through a lot of things in life that would have put the fear in a young man his age but he was not the type. Very few things really scared him and the more afraid he was, the harder he fought them. He was never prepared to come across this kind of situation in his life yet. He was not sure how hard he could fight this. He felt he was losing it at warped speed.

 

His footsteps were slow as he approached the room where Shingyouji was now confined. He was kept in the dark most of the time regarding his condition since it was limited to family only. A strong sense of trepidation seemed to surround his senses. It didn't feel real. None of this was real. He desperately wished things could have happened differently. What could he have done differently?

 

He carefully turned the door knob to open and the sight of his beloved wrapped with bandages, the hissing sound of the monitors beside him, the intravenous drip and oxygen mask on his face made him nauseaous. He felt like the room was spinning but he held onto the door to steady his gait.

 

Shingyouji was not alone in the room and it took every ounce of whatever courage he still had left to greet this person present with him.

 

“How is he?” Misu asked gently.

 

“The doctor could not give me any assurances yet but at least his vitals are stable for now. No one can tell me when he will wake up.” Shingyouji's grandmother sniffed as she gently massaged her grandson's hand.

 

“I'm so sorry. I was there when it happened. I wish there was something I could have done...maybe none of this...” Misu began to stutter. He gripped the edge of the bed until his knuckles turned white.

 

The old lady looked at him and gestured for him to come closer. Misu nodded and uneasily sat beside her. He could not bear to look her in the eyes. This was all his fault. If they hadn't met at the cafe maybe Shingyouji wouldn't have to be in this accident.

 

“Do not blame yourself, Misu-kun. If you hadn't been there then I wouldn't have known right away my grandson was in an accident. I should be thanking you for calling his school so they informed me right away.” She smiled weakly.

 

Those words did nothing to alleviate the fear Misu had. If any, it merely added more embarassment on his part. He didn't even bother to find out the contact number of Shingyouji's family. All he had was the contact information of Shidou High Academy's Student Council saved in his phone.

 

Shingyouji's grandmother turned to Misu and gently tapped his hand. Her eyes have become puffy from tears and despite her aging features and stress, she managed to elicit a kind smile to calm down the young man who is now gaunt with fear and regret in his eyes.

 

“I am glad you are here, Misu-kun. Every time Shingyouji-chan talks about you, his eyes would sparkle and he's so happy. My late husband want nothing in this world but for this boy to be happy because he's been through so much already even as a child. We try our best to protect him but we can only do so much. I am very old, Misu-kun. My Shingyouji-chan is still so young. What could he have done to deserve this? What has my boy done to deserve this? Why not me instead? I'm too old for this world. Not Shingyouji. Not my grandson. He's been through so much already. Anata....don't take him yet, Anata. Take me instead. Please wake up, my love.”

[Last_sky16]

Shingyouji then closes his eyes and wishes that he is back to where he should be. His body is now trembling. He feels so light again. He keeps his eyes shut till suddenly he hears his Obaa-chan’s voice calling out his name. Her voice sounds so different. It is like she is crying or pleading but he couldn’t get what she is saying. There are some other buzzing voices surrounding him and he has no idea whose voices are from. “Obaa-chan…!!!” He calls for his grandma before he slowly opens his eyes.

 

“WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS? Please let me go home. Obaa-chan needs me. I could hear her voice. She needs me.” He cries with an almost pleading voice even though he knew that it is useless. There is nothing around him. Not even a light. This place is much worse than before. He wants to meet his Ojii-chan. He needs him. His Obaa-chan needs him.

 

Out of the blue, huge sparkles appear and glaring his eyes. Shingyouji quickly covers his face with his hands. It is too bright that he could be blinded by it. He waits until it’s gone before opening his eyes. He’s aghast by what he is seeing right now. His surroundings changed in just a blink of an eye. The darkness is now filled with beautiful stars.

 

“Oh! I LOVE STARS!” he shouts playfully like a child.

The place is like magic to Shingyouji. The place is like the place that he dreamt as a child. There are stars twinkling everywhere. He is surrounded by things that looked like screens. Each of the screen is displaying his life like a movie. From a baby to a child, from his first birthday to his first toy. All of it. Shingyouji couldn’t help himself from giggling happily. His face has turned red from laughing. He already forgot about what was happening to him earlier. His mind is absorbed by what he is watching right now. Happiness? He thinks that he is having it right now. He keeps watching the screens until suddenly something catches in his mind. Where are my memories now? The memories of my high school life? Why aren’t there any of them? In all of sudden everything turns freezes, he then distracted by a man’s voice.

 

“Shingyouji…?? It’s me, Akihiro. Can you hear me??”

 

“Akihiro?”. Who is he? He then squeezes his eyes shut and tries to recall his memories. A few of memories suddenly creep into his head all at once. Shidou High Academy. It is my school. What is my class? 3-A class? But who is he? ,

 

“I miss my roommate so much. Our class is not the same without you. The teachers are missing you so much. We miss you so much. I…miss you…so much. When I woke up this morning I felt so lonely. It is like something in my life is missing. You'd always greet me with a big sunshine smile. I love your smiles. Your smile is one of the reasons why I keep missing you when you are not around.The warmth that you gave me is just too...special...I miss you Shingyouji...very much.” The man says in such a gentle voice.

 

Who are you? Why are you missing me? Shingyouji is confuses by the voice he hears. He scratches his head and pouts. Roommate? My roommate? AH! I remember now! That’s Sakuraga Akihiro, Shingyouji’s eyes widened with joy. He thinks that his memories are back.

 

“These things won’t be happening to you if you didn’t choose that Misu. Look at yourself now. Lying dead to the world. He totally doesn’t deserve you. You are worth more to me. I wish that you would look at me. I wish you could be mine.” Akihiro cries sorrowfully.

 

Shingyouji frowns in confusion. What the hell is this man talking about? I am okay right now. Misu? Who the heck is that? Is this man crazy or something? Tons of questions pop out from his mind one after another. Everything sounds ridiculous to him. Suddenly he hears the man sounds as if he is arguing with someone. Someone sounds familiar to him.

 

“So here you are the ‘great’ Arata-san! Look what have you done to him. Are you happy now? You don’t deserve him!!!” Akihiro shouts at Misu.

“He loves you so much and this is what you gave him? You are such a selfish jerk. I swear to God, I will snatch him from you. I won’t let someone like you have him. You better watch out, Misu” .

 

The shouting voice disappears and Shingyouji shakes his head. Arata-san? Who are you? God, please tells me what is happening?!

[yojichan]

Fatigue, chronic insomnia, depression and impending anorexia now marred the handsome features of Misu Arata. Time seemed to have slowed around him and he had lost track of it a long time ago since Shingyouji's accident. It was getting more and more difficult to focus in his studies as he spends more of his time with his obsessive quest regarding Shingyouji's mental and physical condition.

 

His daily routine had been greatly limited to school and the hospital. Going home only meant a change of clothes and a shower. He would stay in Shingyouji's room until the nurses came in to remind him that visiting hours were already over. He dreaded sleeping in his flat as nightmares from the accident would flood his mind and waking up drenched in sweat and exhaustion. The only place he found a sense of peace was taking quick naps in the room so he could see his beloved's face.

 

He had hoped that today would just like be another day in his daily routine. He had hoped with all his might that today would be the day Shingyouji would finally wake up. He was willing to put everything on the line just to see those smiling eyes open for him once again and hear him say his name like no one can. The only way Shingyouji can.

 

Arata-san....

 

Yet the presence of the Shidou senior in the room was not the kind of welcoming he expected. He could feel the burning anger in Akihiro's eyes. The biting intensity of his words threatening to take Shingyouji away from him. He understood pain, regret and jealousy in a man too well when he sees it. No doubt Shingyouji's roommate expressed them all.

 

But something inside Misu just snapped and before his guilt overrode him, he violently grabs Akihiro by the throat and slams him onto the chair. His grip only getting stronger by the second. To Misu everything turned dark and bloody around him. Akihiro has been reduced to a twitching piece of scum in his hand.

 

“You do not know me. You think you can just come in here and threaten me with pain and guilt. You have no idea what I am capable of. There is nothing you can say or do to me that will make me feel even more worse than what I am feeling right now. You claim you deserve him more than I do yet who is the one yelling here like a bloody idiot without any regard for that man laying on the bed in a coma? You tell me!”

 

Misu's clenched jaw, his low and deep voice was heavily laden with murderous intent. He could feel the struggle of Akihiro's fingers as he desperately tries to pry away from Misu's death grip on his throat.

 

The door slowly opened to reveal Shingyouji's grandmother as she walked into the room. Her presence snapped Misu into reality and he instantly releases Akihiro who was now coughing for air.

 

“What's going on, Misu-kun?” Obaa-chan frowned as she noticed Akihiro coughing madly on the seat.

 

“It's nothing. I think I am going to get me some coffee outside. I'll be back.” Misu stammered as he quickly exits the room. He could feel his heart beating wildly. His breath hitching as he walks quickly towards the elevator. Cold sweat began to trickle down his forehead. His hands shaking.

[Last_sky16]

“How long will it be for this empty room to be devoid of anything?

How long will it be?

How long will it be till I could finally reaches for the untraced dream?

How long will it be for me to finally see the continuation of this dream?

How long will it be till finally I could vividly embrace you in the warmth of my arms?

How long will it be?”

 

The words keep replaying in his head now. His deep unspoken feelings keep screaming in his mind. His heart is now feeling numb. He is paralyzed to any sense. The vividly coloured memories are piercing him and his heart. He could just stare at himself blankly. Numb to the world and to himself. The feeling seems forgotten. Who am I? This can’t be true. I must gather my strength now. I can’t be like this. This is not me.

 

Akihiro is now staring at himself in the mirror. He is in the situation where he has never been before. His eyes are in misery and revealing the conflicts in himself now. He washes his face over and over again to regain his self consciousness to the world but his mind keeps taking him somewhere else. He seems in a complete loss. He touches the bruises on his neck but he feels nothing. What has happened just now is like a blazing nightmare to him. He is suffocated by the angst that’s drowning him.

 

His head is dense. He quickly gathers himself to get out from the bathroom. He is feeling dizzy and could hardly stand on his feet. He then walks slowly to the window. The cold breeze is lightly flowing into the room. Akihiro just let himself be prickled by it. He takes a deep breath and hold it for a second before letting it go. His tightened chest is finally at peace.

 

Right after Misu’s murderous assault, he quickly returned to Shidou. His whole body was shaking madly along the way. He was coated with cold sweat and could hardly breathe. He lost himself somewhere. He couldn’t remember anything after the incident. He didn’t even remember how he managed to get back.

 

The memories of the incident are now haunting him. The man’s voice, his eyes, the pain, it was just too frightening. He could still feel the cold hand clutching his throat and trying to grip his soul away from his body. ‘Death’ was the only word that popped out from his mind during that time. He had no idea what would have happened if Shingyouji’s grandma was not there.

 

He gulped the fresh air greedily and tries to regain his consciousness. “I am Sakuraga Akihiro. I am not easily scared. Not to the things like this. Not to him. Not to a person like him. Not to a person named Arata Misu.” He says out loud to wake himself up from the terrifying nightmare. He looks at the sky and a peace suddenly creeps into his body. He loves the sky. He always did. The melodious chirpings from the birds, the foggy coloured clouds and the fresh air for him to breathe. God, this is just too magnificent.

 

The time passes by without him realizing it. The sky is now turning dark and soon the glimmering stars will start to twinkle in the sky. A twinge of warmth suddenly engulfs his loneliness away. He never even thought that he would fall for a person like Shingyouji.

 

They were roommates ever since he entered this school but he never developed any feelings towards him. Although he admitted to himself that there’s a sweetness in Shingyouji’s appearance but the feeling called love never devoured his heart. He always told himself that looks can be deceiving but when they were in their second year, those words vanished away. His life has changed forever.

 

Sakuraga Akihiro was a very distinct person who loves to be left alone. He had everything in his life but somehow he felt no content nor delight by it. He could feel something is lacking in his heart and he wishes to know what it is. ‘Love’ is such a distant word that he never encounter. Although he has the looks that could easily draw any attention but he is not a person who loves to play around. That was until a person named Shingyouji Kanemitsu shook his world and his heart.

 

He smiles ruefully to himself as he reminisces their moments together…

 

“Shingyouji...”

[yojichan]

Misu felt the body beside him move which elicited a smile to his lips. His eyes remained closed as he savored the tenderness in his arms. The temptation to linger on and run the tip of his tongue on the man's shoulder was much to difficult for him to not give in. The cool air from the airconditioning that blew softly inside the bedroom. The softness of the sheets that barely covered their nakedness. The sweet vulnerability they exposed was driving Misu's thoughts in a soulful dance. He could hear the satisfied moan which only further ignited the loving passion within him increasing. They have already spent an erotic-filled evening together and Misu only wanted more. He can never ever be satisfied. This is much too great to let go.

 

"Kimochii?" Misu murmured to his sleepy companion before planting a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose.

 

"Kimochii desu...Arata-san.." Shingyouji smiled peacefully, offering those plush lips another soul-searching kiss once again.

 

The harsh ringing of the intercom suddenly awoke Misu from his sleep. His body did not leave the bed right away as his mind desperately tried to hold on to the fading details of his dream. A memory he once shared with Shingyouji. It all happened right here on this very bed, on these sheets, the pillows they rested their heads upon. A tear slowly rolled down his cheek. For a long time he had been haunted by nightmares of the fatal accident and Shingyouji's tearful face. Haunted by his guilt and pain. Finally, a sweet memory has come across enveloping him once more into the time they were together and happy only to be interrupted by the harshness of the reality he now found himself in.

 

The incessant buzzing continued and Misu dragged himself away from the bed and put on a shirt. He rubbed his eyes and ran a sweep of his hands onto his bedhead hair. He pressed the intercom and sighed in frustration.

 

"What?" Misu's voice was curt.

 

"Room service!" The cheery reply came.

 

"Taki...I am not in the mood for this. Maybe another other time, okay?" Misu absentmindedly scratched his stomach.

 

"Come on, man! THIS IS ANOTHER TIME ALREADY! If you're not gonna let me in, I'm gonna stand here and press on the intercom. I have nothing better to do anyway."

 

Shit. Misu felt an incoming migraine about to emerge but he sucked in his breath deeply. He understood Taki's behavior and he should not be surprised anymore what the guy would do to get his attention. He resigned to his fate and buzzed him in.

 

"You look like hell." Taki greeted him as Misu opened the door for him. Misu shook his head and sat lazily on the couch while Taki immediately went straight to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Your fridge is lonely." He observed. "How long has it been since you did any shopping for food and drinks? Don't you know how to live anymore?" Taki now inspected the cupboard and saw a single unopened bag of wasabi-flavored potato chips. He shrugged and opened the bag and offered Misu who shook his head.

 

The intercom rang again and this time Taki leaped to answer it. "Who is it?"

 

"You have to ask?" Came the amused reply. In two minutes, Taki gleefully welcomed another guest to Misu's abode.

 

"Hello, Misu! I got pizza." A smiling Roberta quipped as she laid the large box of pizza on the glass table. "They had an extra beef pepperoni that came back from delivery so the manager said I can take it home with me."

 

Taki offered her a bag of the wasabi-flavored chips but after one bite, she stuck her tongue out. He merely gave her a shrug. They all gathered around the pizza but observed Misu was not taking a slice which made his friends look at him with concern.

 

"How are you holding up? How long has it been? It seemed too long. How is Shingyouji-kun?" Roberta took a slice while carefully picking out the onions and bellpeppers and passing them onto Taki's pizza slice.

 

"Still the same. He hasn't woken up yet. His vitals are stable at least. I was planning on dropping by for a visit today since it's a Sunday. His parents could have at least dropped by for a visit. It might have been good. Obaa-chan can't always travel all the way from her home to the hospital especially since her rheumatism started acting up again."

 

"Where are his parents?" Taki asked while chewing on the pizza.

 

"They're still at the conference overseas. As bitter as they are as a couple, they seem to work well as business associates. They suck as parents though. At least the bastard who ran over Shingyouji is now in jail." Misu frowns and starts to take a small bite from the pizza.

 

Roberta and Taki look at each other knowingly and watched their friend Misu who seemed deep in thought. The frown never leaving his face. She nudges Taki and gestures for him to say something.

 

"So yeah...uhm....I noticed the fridge empty...I think I'll go out and get us some drinks." Roberta looks at him surprised but he shrugged his shoulders and leaves the flat.

 

"I should have given him some cash for it." Misu who suddenly looked like he was out of his reverie. Roberta moved on to the couch closer to him and squeezed his arm gently.

 

"Don't worry about it. It's just a few drinks and some snacks. Taki will handle it. Just don't ask him to do any marketing or groceries. He's hopeless!" Roberta chuckled.

 

Misu looked at her and smiled. "I'm sorry for making you guys worry about me. These past several weeks have been hard. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I just wake up and do my routine. I go to school. I go to the hospital. I come home to this empty place. I can't seem to get out of this....I dunno....darkness....I feel suffocated."

 

"Hey...hey...that's what we're here for. Don't you ever feel embarrassed to ask for help. You have been such a great support to me and Taki when we were still struggling living here in the city. I mean...gods...you even allowed us to stay here in your condo for a month! You really took care of us. You mean a lot to us, Misu. Now just let us make it up to you, alright?"

 

"Thanks. I really didn't want to trouble anybody." Misu smiled ruefully. She smiles and ruffles his hair. "Ever so independent, Misu. We love you, you know."

 

"I know." Misu nodded.

 

"Anyway....Taki and I have some great news for you. That's one of the reasons why we came by today."

 

"Why, what is it?"

 

Roberta grinned widely. The intercom buzzed and Taki arrived with a bag of canned drinks and random snacks and candies. He was welcomed by Roberta who excitedly took the bags away and put them on the counter.

 

"What's going on with you two?" Misu now looked sceptical and curious.

 

"You haven't told him yet?" Taki looked at Roberta incredulously. She shook her head and still grinning.

 

"Well...here's the thing...Misu...we didn't want to surprise you yet but actually Roberta and I....well...we....you know...uhm..." Taki began to stammer.

 

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN TWO DAYS!" Roberta interrupted and hugged Misu tight. Taki was now grinning ear to ear.

 

"We were gonna ask you to be our best man." Taki smiled.

 

"Do you accept?" Roberta watched Misu's reaction.

 

Misu looked at his friends and smiled. For the first time in a very long time, he suddenly felt an ease in his heart. Two of his best buddies are about to get hitched. He had an amazing dream of him and Shingyouji earlier. Maybe all this was pointing to something good to happen in the near future. How could he refuse such a request? They have been there with him through the good and bad times. They supported his relationship with Shingyouji and they cared for him as well. He wished Shingyouji could be here to listen to the great news.

 

"Cool. You accept then." Roberta smiled and moved towards Taki who kissed his bride-to-be sweetly.

 

"Thank you, Misu."

[Last_sky16]

Shingyouji is feeling hopeless now. He is feeling petrified and dumbfounded of what he had just bumped into. Drenched in tears, he then closes his eyes. He wishes nothing. Nothing more than to be taken away from the pain.

 

“If you want to take me away then just do it. Please my Lord, no more of this. No more...I had enough and I can’t take it anymore…” He says in in his prayer in such a pleading voice.

 

After a moment, Shingyouji feels more at ease. His chest suddenly fills with serenity. It has been a long time since he felt this way. The tears in his eyes have now gone. The weeping bay has now withered. Things are now windless and the only thing that he could hear right now is his own breath.

 

The quiet continues when something caught his ears. He could hear some noises coming from nowhere. Some distinct noises that he never heard before. He could hear some disembodied voices as well. He become intrigued with what is happening around him.

 

Shingyouji tries to open his eyes but his eyes are strained by a jabbing pain in his head. Shingyouji almost cried out but no voice comes from his throat. He takes a moment to gather his strength again. He won’t just give up. Not after what he’s been through. He needs an answer.

 

Despite of feeling frazzled, Shingyouji managed to unconceal the seamed eyelid of his. Slowly his eyes half-open. He tries to open his eyes thoroughly but his sights blurred by the glaring lights. His body is now dead on his feet. He feels nothing but fatigue and lethargy.

 

Shingyouji tries to move his hand but nothing happened. He is starting to feel numb. This situation is making him feels drowsy. What is wrong with me? What now? Why am I being punished like this? What have I done wrong? Shingyouji could only cry and slowly he tries to twitch his lips.

 

“Obaa-chan…” The only word that he managed to moan before his head starts to feel dense and his sight starts to dim away as well as his consciousness to the world. Again.

[yojichan]

Misu thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest when he heard Shingyouji moaned and the way his eyelids twitched like he was about to open them. His first instinct was to alert the nurses quickly. All he could do was stand aside and watch helplessly as they examined Shingyouji.

 

 

An hour has passed since the incident happenened. Shingyouji's vital signs have begun to stabilize. All Misu could do now was pray that he would wake up again very soon. He had informed Shingyouji's grandmother on the phone who ended up weeping profusely and wishing she had been in the hospital to be by her grandson's side but she had been sick for several days and could not travel yet.

 

 

He gently caressed his lover's cheek as he watched the rise and fall of his chest. He was back to sleep again. He didn't know what to feel anymore. Panic had been his initial reaction then slowly maddening hope and growing relief only to feel the pain of desolation again. Was he ever going to open his eyes again? He didn't want to lose faith. He woke up each day with the hope that Shingyouji would wake up from his deep slumber. It was the only thing that kept Misu going. He would give anything to see those eyes open for him again. To hear his voice.

 

 

“Shingyouji, I know you're in there somewhere. I'm sorry that your obaa-chan isn't here. But don't worry, she's just having the flu and she'll be visiting you again very soon. I also want you to know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I have so much to tell you but let's save it until you wake up, ne?” Misu tried to smile but the crack in his voice was betraying him. His eyes began to twitch as hot tears began to roll down his cheeks. He frowned and impatiently rubs his eyes with his palm.

 

 

“None of this was supposed to happen. I don't know how much longer I can take this. Everyday I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I'm so fucking scared, man. I've never been this scared in my whole life. I don't want to lose you. I'm not giving up on you. I miss you so damn much. You gotta fight this, Shingyouji. Please. Just wake up. Come back to me.” Misu reached for Shingyouji's fingers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

[yuuri-chan]

i hope you update it soon i can't wait for shingyouji to see his master devastated

[skysplits19]

can't wait for the next one ^^

[yuuri-chan]

i am looking forward for the update ... I am die hard fan of misuxshin ...thanks for your reply... i do understand that because i am pursuing my studies too and i am having hard time to handle studies and my hobbies.. :hamtaro-005 (1):

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

i am looking forward for the update ... I am die hard fan of misuxshin ...thanks for your reply... i do understand that because i am pursuing my studies too and i am having hard time to handle studies and my hobbies.. :hamtaro-005 (1):

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

i am looking forward for the update ... I am die hard fan of misuxshin ...thanks for your reply... i do understand that because i am pursuing my studies too and i am having hard time to handle studies and my hobbies.. :hamtaro-005 (1):

[yunake]

I simply loved it and am starved for more!!! gotta have more! +.+ no fair! xPPPP

 

but it's simply amazing, you two work so well together! *gives gigantic cookie to each* there you go, shows how good you are xDD

 

I promise i'll try my best to finish my fics and try to get some time to start new ones (haven't written anything worth it in so long it's about time I put more effort into it xDDD)

 

from yours truly, this lazy kitten is now going to day and night dream about this fantastic fic until fic is updated.

 

meow~

 

:msn_red_fox 4