iMarionette Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Found this, so I thought I might share~ The car you own is a BMW, Mercedes, Porche, or any other extra expensive make. Also, a seme’s car will defy the laws of physics by being larger inside than on the outside to allow for comfortable uke-smexing. Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex. Semes don’t eat cake. Ever. Semes will hardly ever have sex completely naked. That’s an uke thing. Rape = Love. The more you love your uke, the more right you have to rape him. The cure for rape = more rape. If another seme kissed, touched, or looked at your uke, get rid of his mark by replacing it with your own. You can forgive your uke for anything. It will either lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win. No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you’d win first place hands down (or tied). If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to turn them into your uke. This is especially true of American CEO’s, exchange students, Middle eastern princes, French patissiers, Chinese mafia hunks, Italian captains, and English noblemen with funny names. Smexing your uke with his glasses is the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him… you have failed. You can’t afford to smex your uke with your glasses on because if that happens, you can’t be sure if the uke loves you or the glasses. Ukes ooze pheromones. Chances are you can’t sense them, equip all possible aggressors among your underlings with gas masks just in case. Never let you uke do any work! It’s the uke’s job to lie on the bed, it’s YOUR job to make him feel good at night. (If your uke hasn’t come at least five times, you’re doing it wrong). Everybody is out to rape your uke. You’ve got to protect his chastity by guarding him day and night! SAS-Semes Always Swallow. Spitting out semen is for wussies. You don’t have to think to hard for the perfect birthday present for your uke- just do him eight times in a row. On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else. Selective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. When your uke says “no,” what you hear is, “Please ignore my tears, resisting, and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue”. If you can’t make your uke come just by licking his ass… you suck in bed. The number of dildos that any average seme owns (for his uke) would put any sex shop to shame. It’s perfectly normal to be able to pin a grown man to the wall only using one hand to grip his wrists. After sex, you always wear the pajama pants. Your uke will wear the shirt, lest he wishes to tempt you again with his perky, pink nipples. Want to learn the meaning behind your uke’s words? Use our handy uke- dictionary. “No, I don’t want this”- Fuck me. “Stop it!”- Fuck me. “I need to sleep.”- Fuck me. “What’s for dinner?”- Fuck me. A seme must have different colored hair to his uke. Ropes materialize out of thin air. Don’t worry about stashing ropes or ties around the house~ if you’ve got your uke under you, you can just pull a rope from sub-space to tie him up. Do you agree with points made? 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matsuross Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 i agree with everything..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1978 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Thanks Roby Sensei for useful details hahaha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Ashton~ Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 I agree, that would creat the perfect seme,,,, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aoi Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you’d win first place hands down (or tied). Haha good tips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
707 Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Smexing your uke with his glasses is the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him… you have failed. You can forgive your uke for anything. It will either lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win. You don’t have to think to hard for the perfect birthday present for your uke- just do him eight times in a row. On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else. Want to learn the meaning behind your uke’s words? Use our handy uke- dictionary. “No, I don’t want this”- Fuck me. “Stop it!”- Fuck me. “I need to sleep.”- Fuck me. “What’s for dinner?”- Fuck me. rabbit14rabbit14rabbit14 Uhuh, Uhuh..^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gin Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 The cure for rape = more rape. If another seme kissed, touched, or looked at your uke, get rid of his mark by replacing it with your own. Seems legitimate to me. Hmmm... One thing in mind that Alfred Valentino fits the word "Italian Captain." On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else. OBJECTION! Your argument is INVALID! (*phoenix wright mode). Statistics shows that seme's do accept burnt omelettes, bouquet of roses or even a robotic teddy bear. (*jst kidding) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chibi-Seme Chidori Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Selective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. When your uke says “no,” what you hear is, “Please ignore my tears, resisting, and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue”. Ha, ha, now that part was really funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<3Gaara Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 haha this is awesome, and so true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARRK Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 hmmmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherryblosom Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 i agree with them alls... &) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miharu.187 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Sooo trueee!! I LOVE THESE: - Rape = Love. The more you love your uke, the more right you have to rape him. - The car you own is a BMW, Mercedes, Porche, or any other extra expensive make. Also, a seme’s car will defy the laws of physics by being larger inside than on the outside to allow for comfortable uke-smexing. - Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex. - The cure for rape = more rape. If another seme kissed, touched, or looked at your uke, get rid of his mark by replacing it with your own. - You can forgive your uke for anything. It will either lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win. - No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you’d win first place hands down (or tied). - If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to turn them into your uke. This is especially true of American CEO’s, exchange students, Middle eastern princes, French patissiers, Chinese mafia hunks, Italian captains, and English noblemen with funny names. elective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. - When your uke says “no,” what you hear is, “Please ignore my tears, resisting, and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue”. - Want to learn the meaning behind your uke’s words? Use our handy uke- dictionary. “No, I don’t want this”- Fuck me. “Stop it!”- Fuck me. “I need to sleep.”- Fuck me. “What’s for dinner?”- Fuck me. I FIND THESE ONES TO BE VERYYYYY TRUEEEE!! Love it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yourstalker Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 The rape things a bit......:/ sorry guys but I don't agree with that as for the being larger inside than on the outside ..so Doctor is seme? Try telling thaqt to master >.> Oh and you forgot Mongolian transexual monks..(the things i read...) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikimaru Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 It’s perfectly normal to be able to pin a grown man to the wall only using one hand to grip his wrists. For me this only works on skinnier boys, otherwise my thumb slips! But with my one hand free, my uke is never safe from tickle torture... If you can’t make your uke come just by licking his ass… you suck in bed. Seriously, there are so many sensitive spots down there, it's ridiculous.. Do you agree with points made? Yupp Yupp! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otameganekko Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 -Smexing your uke with his glasses is the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him… you have failed. -Ropes materialize out of thin air. Don’t worry about stashing ropes or ties around the house~ if you’ve got your uke under you, you can just pull a rope from sub-space to tie him up. Of course! For someone having glasses fetish, making them embarrassed while they have their glasses which is not properly on is an everyday goal. If they ask to take it of because they're embarrassed, it's better to keep it on them. And yes, a seme is a master of bondage. Anything can serve as a restraint to ensure the pleasure of his uke. Heh. :6onion72: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonWolf Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Why did i click on the thread? I'm not even a seme. Still, now i know what to watch out for when a seme comes near me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRINCE_Z_E_T_A Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 huh? O //// O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nina274 Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Yup everything seems to be there especially the rape part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRINCE_Z_E_T_A Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 well said.. ^ 3 ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryoubi Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Everything's true, especially the strangling part and the rape:hamtaro-005 (8): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiraMidnight Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Yes I agree =^.6= Now if only Seme's could abide by these points then hehehe,this little Uke would have it made Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayasegawa Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Oh my... It's so true i do have fantasies to be owned by someone brutally, yet having the loving and caring moments. LOL i want a seme so bad!!! HAhahahaha xP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpid Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Yes, so painfully true. * On a serious note, there really is a problem with all the rape culture in Yaoi mangas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adica Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 agree. totally :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiki-san Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 true, true :cuteonion54: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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