do you feel any guilty when you read or watch Yaoi?

[akkita]

i never feel guilty, but sometimes when i spend a lot of time at once hanging out with straight guys, i feel weird reading yaoi for a day or two after. i wouldn't call it guilt, but it's more similar to shame like "if my friends knew i was reading this, they'd think i'm weird", even if the friends are really chill and accepting when it comes to things like that.

i don't get that same guilt after hanging out with girls or gay guys though.

[Sylvex]

Sometimes I feel guilty because everytime I see two guys together in public, I would automatically guess who the uke and the seme is between them ) It's becoming a habit really~

 

But the act of reading/watching yaoi only had me guilty the first time I tried it. As time passes though, you'll realize that it's all a matter of cultural perspective. The perception of guilt is only there because for some cultures and religions, same-sex relations are a taboo and a sin. But yaoi all boils down to a very important message - love so strong that it dares to defy the norm

[Whysofluffy]

lolol I used to, back when I was still religious. I was like, "what the hell? Why do I even like this? This is sin! This is basically porn, and it's not even a normal porn it's a gay porn. It's even more wrong." But now I'm like "yeah, good shit. Good shit right here!" I'm not religious anymore (more like an agnostic?), so I guess that's the main reason why I don't feel guilty anymore. As long as we don't cause harm to anybody, it isn't wrong and we shouldn't feel guilty.

[Sara90]

Nope and I'm Christian. I don't think God is going to send people to hell for being gay or someone for watching people of the same sex get together.

[Tetsu]

No, I don't feel guilty. Before, however, I used to be scared whenever I read yaoi especially when I do so in computer shops. I didn't want anyone finding me reading and I was still confused bout myself... even though I know I like reading yaoi, I had this discomfort. Now I'm comfortable reading it even in public ahahaha xD

[Kaika-kun]

I know how you feel...

:Sleepy:

 

Not only would that person (whom you came out to) view you differently, it's even worse when they start to stray away from you...:No!:

 

That's why I never told anyone after that one time... It was hell...

[akikosenpai]

I started to look at yaoi when I was very young, like 13. So at first I think I felt a little bit guilty like ... I shouldn't be looking at this, it's rude! lol

 

But now that I'm older I don't think anything like that. I just love cute relationships. It's the purest thing :Wink:

[Dayu]

Super guilty. Since I am guy, I am to shy to tell. hahaha

[Rumpleteaser]

Nope. I don't feel guilty when I watch something people have drawn because people draw willingly and there's no chance of someone being tricked into drawing yaoi. I feel guilty when watching real people because I'm objectifying real people. Anime characters aren't real so can't care whether some creepy chick is watching their romance. I understand a lot of video recordings are done with both player's consent and they enjoy being taped but there are always a few cases where people don't know they're being taped.

[Preeh]

Not at all.

 

I would probably feel awkward when someone would know what I read, but the people around me don't.

I sometimes catch myself making weird faces when reading yaoi though.

[morning_milk94]

No I don't xD

[-Hideki-]

No, of course not! Why would I? There is nothing wrong about it;it’s not a bloody crime or something.

The question alone is weird to me. Why would anyone feel guilty for reading/watching Yaoi?

[BlxxdyButterfly]

I think I felt guilty the first time I read a detailed yaoi manga. I think it was a combination of embarrassment and trying to reason why on Earth I liked it. And actually, I turned away from Yaoi at first because I thought I should not read it.

:cuteonion50:

 

BUT I took a risk and looked up documentaries about the gay community and then I looked up yaoi. I gradually lowered myself into this entire community. AND LOVED IT!! Since then, I don't feel guilty anymore because I am simply watching and reading what I have a passion for... and it just so happens to be what other people call "gay porn"...

:8onion73:

Also(personal thoughts)

 

I think it is obvious for most of us in the Yaoi community but...

 

I am a woman who likes relationships and sexual activities between two men, I will always admit that. BUT just because I don't feel guilty about it anymore doesn't mean I don't keep it a secret from my friends (I am actually distancing myself from the few friends I had since graduating because a couple of them are homophobic and it just doesn't sit right with me that I am a "weirdo" that my friends find disgusting).

:Red_fox6: I don't want anything to do with such narrow-minded people.

 

Yaoi is a precious part of my life that I will only ever watch or imagine about. I will never actually be able to be a man and experience it so I admire the love that is so pure that happens between two men. There are times when I want to be a character in the manga and when I was younger I wanted to be a boy but I have since changed so... yeah.

 

:_red_fox 14 TO SUMMARIZE: I am a "weirdo" and I don't care what others say anymore so... NO MORE GUILT

 

It's so good to get it off my chest.

(If I said anything wrong, please do correct me. I think I said everything correctly though).

 

[BlxxdyButterfly]

No, of course not! Why would I? There is nothing wrong about it;it’s not a bloody crime or something.

The question alone is weird to me. Why would anyone feel guilty for reading/watching Yaoi?

 

I did. At first I thought that there must be something wrong with me to like Yaoi. I mean when I was 15, in the midst of puberty, I found this genre that my grandparents disapproved of and commented about it being "unnatural".

 

I felt guilty that I liked something that others called "unnatural" because... did it mean I was also unnatural? No, but my mind was telling me YES, that is why I turned from it at first... because I wanted nothing more than to be "normal."

[Andro]

Why should I feel guilty?

[crystald]

.

 

Nope, love is love!

[Alezander]

I don't. I simply just don't. If I did, it would feel like I'm rejecting a part of myself, and that hurts more than being 'guilty' for something. Besides, for whom is the guilt for?

[vye]

No,I'm not religious and I find my interest in bl based around my admiration and interest for men,and how they relate and get close to eachother.

 

Nope. I don't feel guilty when I watch something people have drawn because people draw willingly and there's no chance of someone being tricked into drawing yaoi. I feel guilty when watching real people because I'm objectifying real people. Anime characters aren't real so can't care whether some creepy chick is watching their romance. I understand a lot of video recordings are done with both player's consent and they enjoy being taped but there are always a few cases where people don't know they're being taped.

 

I mean it's the same as for example,when men see a hot girl walking down the street,and then they imagine having sex with her.

You are naturally sexually inclined to have fantasies and sexual emotions and there is nothing to be ashamed about it,sure the people who you have attraction or fantasies about it probably don't want to know about it (unless you are dating them) but this is a known thing.

[erikavendetta]

I'm not ashamed. I bring my books to work sometimes to read on my breaks, haha! But never when anyone's around, that just feels awkward.

 

I talk about what kind of comics I'm into with others and I say how I'm interested in works involving LGBT+ themes. Most people understand because I'm gay myself, so it's something that relates to me, but I sometimes get judgemental looks when I'm not specifically explaining what type of yaoi I read. Yaoi is straight women porn half the time, so I'm fairly used to reading it when searching for a good themed story, but the kind of BL I live for is plot-heavy and reflective of real-life struggles of gay men and their pursuits to find love. It makes me happy to see gays represented well when it's done right and fairly, unafraid to explore the messy details of what it's really like to be homosexual.

 

But also... BL is a bit of escapism where I can indulge in a story where two gay people fall in love and live well (and sex is only part of the experience). I don't always want to read how bad we have it because, trust me, I'm living it everyday so I know exactly how it is. Representation is SO important... but so is a story that gives homosexuals hope for a better future, and hope for finding love. Because it's so hard.

 

Though yaoi is looked down upon because it's seen as a fetish for homosexuality, that's the same kind of perspective that people had in the 1960's -- "all homosexuals are perverts". So I will say this: when you are reading yaoi that's all about gay sex, just keep in mind that gay men don't exist for your pleasure. Having a fetish is fine, and I'm glad yaoi can pave your way of thinking that homosexuals deserve love too, just don't let it warp your perspective on them. Read some good yaoi jerk-off material as much as you like, 'cause hey man you like what you like, but I'd recommend some good LGBT+ works like Dark Heaven or Smells Like Green Spirit too.

[vye]

I'm not ashamed. I bring my books to work sometimes to read on my breaks, haha! But never when anyone's around, that just feels awkward.

 

I talk about what kind of comics I'm into with others and I say how I'm interested in works involving LGBT+ themes. Most people understand because I'm gay myself, so it's something that relates to me, but I sometimes get judgemental looks when I'm not specifically explaining what type of yaoi I read. Yaoi is straight women porn half the time, so I'm fairly used to reading it when searching for a good themed story, but the kind of BL I live for is plot-heavy and reflective of real-life struggles of gay men and their pursuits to find love. It makes me happy to see gays represented well when it's done right and fairly, unafraid to explore the messy details of what it's really like to be homosexual.

 

But also... BL is a bit of escapism where I can indulge in a story where two gay people fall in love and live well (and sex is only part of the experience). I don't always want to read how bad we have it because, trust me, I'm living it everyday so I know exactly how it is. Representation is SO important... but so is a story that gives homosexuals hope for a better future, and hope for finding love. Because it's so hard.

 

Though yaoi is looked down upon because it's seen as a fetish for homosexuality, that's the same kind of perspective that people had in the 1960's -- "all homosexuals are perverts". So I will say this: when you are reading yaoi that's all about gay sex, just keep in mind that gay men don't exist for your pleasure. Having a fetish is fine, and I'm glad yaoi can pave your way of thinking that homosexuals deserve love too, just don't let it warp your perspective on them. Read some good yaoi jerk-off material as much as you like, 'cause hey man you like what you like, but I'd recommend some good LGBT+ works like Dark Heaven or Smells Like Green Spirit too.

 

I don't think women (or men) regardless of their sexualities,need to be told that a group of people doesn't exist for their pleasure,it's belittling.

[erikavendetta]

I don't think women (or men) regardless of their sexualities,need to be told that a group of people doesn't exist for their pleasure,it's belittling.

 

I'm glad you see that it's not necessarily something that needs to be said. Honestly, I apologise if I came across as patronising because it is blatantly obvious, right? I mean damn, not everyone thinks like this and the majority don't. So I don't mean it as a whole group of people, I'm sorry for putting it like that. What I meant to do is address this as an issue or a "flaw" in the perception of BL. Because it all comes down to perspective, innit?

 

I stand by the majority of this thread saying that yaoi is not something to be ashamed for enjoying because everyone have their own reasons to, everyone reacts to it differently, and generally everyone has in a kind and open-minded way. That's really cool mate. If it's something that appeals to you sexually, then go for it, still nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has their thing. It's just that there's such a fine line sometimes that blurs those two differences in yaoi, don't you think? That is what I mean, when one side overvalues the other. There's a grey area that isn't addressed all that much and it's difficult to discuss it because, like I say, it's such a fine line and EVERYONE has different perspectives on what's what. And I thought to bring it up briefly in my post.

 

So I hope I've come across a bit more coherently here. I don't mean to categorise a whole group of people, certainly not the community I feel a part of. Sorry for sounding a bit like a condescending prick, lol.

[Taelor]

I never feel guilty, I just get excited :Wink:

[Rumpleteaser]

I don't. I simply just don't. If I did, it would feel like I'm rejecting a part of myself, and that hurts more than being 'guilty' for something. Besides, for whom is the guilt for?

 

I know that but I just don't like doing it. I wouldn't want people to think of me that way either. I don't blame people for those thoughts though or think it's shameful.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

No,I'm not religious and I find my interest in bl based around my admiration and interest for men,and how they relate and get close to eachother.

 

 

 

I mean it's the same as for example,when men see a hot girl walking down the street,and then they imagine having sex with her.

You are naturally sexually inclined to have fantasies and sexual emotions and there is nothing to be ashamed about it,sure the people who you have attraction or fantasies about it probably don't want to know about it (unless you are dating them) but this is a known thing.

 

I know that but I just don't like doing it. I wouldn't want people to think of me that way either. I don't blame people for those thoughts though or think it's shameful.