Raison d'être

[gin]

"I love you. Do you accept me now?"

 

"....." he gave him nothing of a response.

 

Staring coldly at the President he noticed that the other was in pain, he seemed to think

that Masafumi was dejecting him---though not.

Not good at choosing the right words, he wanted to convey some

of his approval but he don't know how to start it off.

 

"---eerr," he mumbled scratching his listless face, diverting his gaze towards the windshield.

 

Masafumi was still in his own battle, a battle for knowing what he really felt for the other.

Its hard for him to trust Ryuichiro's comforting words, he might one day leave him.

Masafumi was not ready for commitment, neither a sex friend to help him release his frustrations.

 

"I don't know----" he continued, looking all confused.

 

Its as if he was yearning for a little help with this emotions running inside his chest.

Done changing his clothes he start the engine, looking at his wristwatch he had an idea.

 

"Hey, want to join me for a dinner?"

 

He wanted to ask instead shoving the guy outside his car.

 

[ghordge]

Seeing that pained look on the other's face from hearing his query woke him from his dream.

And hurt his feelings.

He started putting on his clothes in a hurry.

He buttoned up his shirt in which some were wrongly placed.

After putting on his pants, he opened the door on the other side.

 

"So you still don't trust my words, huh?...Don't worry I'm not in a hurry.

You could take your sweet time and think it over."

 

He pulled Masafumi's head near his and said,

"But remember this, You're the only one for me.

And I am the only one for you. You won't be able to look at other guys besides me.

You're the only reason for my existence."

Once again they shared an ardent kiss.

 

Then stepped out of the car and bid goodbye.

"Go to the meeting tomorrow, and I'll show you something good."

[gin]

"Er---pres. your shirts-----"

 

Another warm kiss from Ryuichiro wake his senses up,

the feel of his lips almost drives him crazy---again.

Resisting from temptation he averted his gaze somewhere far.

 

This is reality---the moment he inflicted "hurt" with the other was the same moment he "love" the other...

 

--reason for existence...he says he better stop that

 

He turned his head to Ryuichiro as he bid his farewell.

 

--or else I might fall in love---with you.

 

The thought just made him blushed, he hurried back into

his car to prevent Ryuichiro from seeing his weird face.

 

"But remember this, You're the only one for me.

And I am the only one for you. You won't be able to look at other guys besides me.

You're the only reason for my existence."

 

The more he stays idle, the more he remembers Ryuichiro's words.

 

---argh...

 

"Go to the meeting tomorrow, and I'll show you something good."

 

--I could not comprehend anymore---damn.

 

[ghordge]

Although you didn't pushed me away.

I know you don't want to be with me after that.

Must be uncomfortable staying with someone after doing it if there are no attachments.

Guess I still have a long way to go.

He chuckled and walked away from the other's car to go to his.

He remembered, he still have a lot to prepare for the next day's meeting.

 

He drove his car as careful as he could.

Having that accident left some bad aftertaste to him.

Upon reaching his home, he reached for a cup of brandy and relaxed near his window.

 

"It's been awhile since I've come home.

Feels like ages ago since I sat here just staring at the colorful and busy city.

Tomorrow is the day I take you down, come prepared."

 

A glimpse of determination was mirrored in his eyes

Nobody could stop this man, especially if the one he holds dearly is oppressed.

[gin]

Arriving at his abode, there Shiro was waiting at him--wagging his tail.

Looking sternly at the dog--he touched his back.

Now he felt some pain tingling at it--and much worse was at his hole.

 

---owowo

 

Masafumi walked towards the sitting device like an old man.

Bending his spine, he landed safely at the couch.

 

There he goes again, thinking of Ryuichiro.

He was about to analyze or something--wanting to reply the other's words.

Like how can he express his liking towards the other....openly.

 

While busy on his thoughts--- he kept on yawning until he fell asleep at his couch.

 

Morning arrived, the day that the meeting Ryuichiro planned took place.

Masafumi knew that the other will do something in there--or much more about the leakage thing or another one.

Going to the conference hall immediately he saw the board of directors-- all present.

 

---the annoying bastards are here.

 

Having his perfect poker face, he sat on a chair away from the main table.

 

[ghordge]

"For this meeting, I would be the one doing the talking."

The members of the board and the heads of different departments started whispering to one another, turning their heads left and right.

"You don't have to be shocked about it.

You know, for a change. So let's start, shall we?"

 

He distributed documents which was one of those sent to him.

"Please scan the pages taking note of the ones encircled in red. Clearly, this, "

he held the documents up high so everyone would see,

"talks about the leakage of information from the R and D department.

I know everyone is aware that only a few people could access this.

It would be either me, the VP and those in the said department.

But for some reason, the IP address of the computer from which this was printed was also shown. And if you would investigate whose computer this came from, "

he threw the papers onto the long table where they were seated around,

"it would be the VP's. " Everybody turned their heads to Masafumi.

 

"If you knew who the culprit was, you should already fire him, Pres."

The voice came from Kurumisawa Naoki, a member of the board. He was smiling, snickering in fact. The crowd buzzed a little louder than before. Everybody was nodding in agreement.

[gin]

Ryuichiro handing some notes, was kinda weird.

The serious look on his face made Masafumi looked sideways,

not afraid but he don't want to disturb what the other wants to talk about.

 

Yes, indeed, he was referring to the leakage thing.

Masafumi, along with the other board of directors remained silent.

They we're whispering and speaking of wanted names they had taken suspicion of.

 

"it would be the VP's. "

 

As to all eye's where unto Masafumi, the person himself was rather calm.

 

--here it out until the end, you idiots.

 

He was there, calm, not even affected by the piercing stares.

Masafumi stared at Ryuichiro--though he did not knew who the culprit was,

he was sure that Ryuichiro was not that incompetent to blame an innocent

man like him.

 

--let's know who this bastard is and spike his drinks with poison----

 

At the corner, he thought, maybe kidding or maybe Not....

 

[ghordge]

"Not so fast my friend, I'm not yet done. Don't you think it's a bit odd? I checked his computer personally and found no traces. But the documents sent directly to my office contains his IP address. If he has the time to clean some evidences, why not completely? Besides he is one of the most competent employees of mine. Does his work efficiently, effectively, proud and error-free. Even the slightest mistake does not pass through him. I'm sure everyone knows that. So how could he make such a major mistake such as that?"

 

The crowd kept silent. Naoki raised his brows in irritation and asked, " So are you telling us that he was not the one doing it?"

 

"Precisely! Take a look at this, " he slide Hasegawa Takashi's ID towards Naoki. "I believe you knew him oh-so-well." Uneasiness was painted across the other's face. "He was seen going in and out of the VP's office in a janitor's suit." He flashed a video of the man in the picture in the sales department and another video where he was caught red-handed. "But why would he do that? Where in fact he belongs to the Sales Department? Don't you have anything to explain?" He looked at the other sternly."If you think I am done. You're wrong again. I also found out that you are a major stockholder in the company where the information was leaked. "

 

Unable to say another word, he just sat there gritting his teeth, glaring at the president.

 

"With these I end my presentation. The meeting is now adjourned. Please leave except for you, "he nodded his head once facing Naoki.

[gin]

"You flatter me much, Shacho. But I could not agree more of your profound explanation." he swung his hands open and glared at Naoki. The other backed a little.

 

--so it was you!!! a dark aura shrouded him.

 

Ryuichiro was there, he could see Masafumi wanting to do something evil at Naoki after the meeting.

This person had put so much effort to that project, day and night--he overworked himself.

He must pay the price---a really high price.

 

The meeting was adjourned, Masafumi left the place.

But before that, he had a little detour at Naoki's chair.

 

"Better watch your back, you see. You might end up waking up in a coffin."

He slowly whispered to the other and left the place.

 

Though the threat may be empty, yet Naoki did not underestimate the vice-president's words.

[ghordge]

After the meeting, only Ryuichiro and Naoki remained inside the conference room.They were at it for another hour.Ryuichiro rushed back to his office as soon as he left the room.

 

I'm sorry, I didn't know about your feelings.

And if only I knew ... then what?

And suppose I knew it, what would I have done?

 

He scratched his head in confusion, as he took long strides towards his office.He fell on his chair when he reached his room and buried his face on his hands.

 

What a day ...

 

The other one left a few minutes after Ryuichiro's footsteps were gone. He was gloomy. Dark atmosphere surrounded him as he walk down the hall.He packed all of his belongings and shoved them inside a box.Before leaving, he looked back and stare at the floor where the president's office was supposed to be located, and mumbled, "Goodbye, my first love."

[gin]

*knock.

 

Masafumi entered Ryuichiro's office, he instantly noticed the other's despair in his couch.

 

"You okay?? Here, gotta hand you the usual."

 

He placed the usual budget reports on Ryuichiro's table, while the other was in a complete daze.

 

--what's he thingking?? waving his hand in front of Ryuichiro, still not noticing him.

 

Masafumi scratched his head a little, he wanted to talk about the matter regarding Naoki.

Though he was still recalling what happened yesterday, flustered, he tried to erase it.

 

"not listening eh..."

 

He leaned his body at the edge of the table, drawing closer to the other.

Slightly touching the other's lips with his lips---he gave the President a light kiss.

 

"For the nth time Pres. get your head off the clouds."

 

He said fixing his glasses and left the place, calmly.

While in the other hand, Ryuichiro's eyes were all wide-open.

 

--take that idiot.

[ghordge]

"Hey, hey!

Don't you dare walk out on me after doing something bold."

 

He raced to him before he reached the door and pulled him sideways, away from the glass wall, away from the eyes of their employees.

 

In a split second, they've shared a heated kiss, having a tongue battle. He pulled away for a second and hissed, "Thanks for worrying about me. But this cheered me a lot."

 

And once again they continued where they left off.

[gin]

The ever endearing kiss of the other almost swept him away.

Pushing slightly Ryuichiro, he stared at him, all serious.

 

"No---not now, we're working."

 

He pressed his hand lightly towards the other's lips for them to halt.

Masafumi could not resist if Ryuichiro will take another step.

Kissing back the other, he then sat at the couch.

 

"So did you eliminate him from the board of directors----Naoki, you see."

 

Masafumi asked, managing his crooked neck tie.

Ryuichiro was just standing there, he expected for more.

 

"No means ---no." Masafumi strictly said, fixing his glasses in an extravagant manner.

[ghordge]

That lonely look he had on his face before Masafumi gave him a peck surfaced once again.

 

"Hm. Done that already."

 

He sat on he far end of the couch.

All his excitement from before suddenly died down.

Although he still wanted to finish whatever they've started,

he doesn't seem to be interested on it when Naoki's name was mentioned.

 

"He--- nevermind." he mumbled shaking his head.

 

He stared at the bookshelf located in a corner of the room.

They were both silent for a few seconds.

 

Trying to break the ice, he asked:

"Let's not talk about him.

How 'bout you? How are you feeling after clearing up your name?"

[gin]

"Feeling?? Strange but I can't feel anything."

 

He answered honestly, he really did not felt anxious since he was not even guilty about it. Masafumi grabbed a paper formed an origami---it was a crane. He handed it to the boss, he wanted to explain something from it but a knock from the door interrupted him. Entering, a delivery man greeted them, the both of them was shocked, seeing a bouquet of roses. Wrapped in a golden paper that is etched with tiny crystals, a long golden lace, and containing three dozens of fiery red roses--it was a stunning bouquet. So did the delivery guy made a mistake? That was almost a gift for a woman but no he was not mistaken. The both of them stared at each other, wondering who this "lucky woman" is.

 

"Seijuro Masafumi-san???"

 

The delivery boy read the name on the delivery list. Masafumi's eyes widened as he heard his name. How did he managed to receive a bouquet of roses? He did not even join a beauty contest---joking aside he grabbed the huge bouquet and detected the card attached to it. The bouquet was so huge that he even had to put it down just to open the card. Ryuichiro on the other hand was at the back of Masafumi, wanting to see who had send it.

 

Advance Happy Birthday Sei-chan

 

from your lovely husband, Dai-sama

 

"Da---daichi?!!"

 

Masafumi's face was filled with excitement. The ever bold person who was known as "Daichi" gave him a surprise, the name itself made him blush. So who was this Daichi anyway?? Simply speaking, he was Seijuro's childhood bestfriend--and had a special attachment to him.

 

"like always, such a flashy guy----" he mumbled.

 

[ghordge]

He stood there, dumbfounded by the big bouquet of roses.

 

Hm, If it's Masafumi, definitely roses.

It possess elegance yet very unreachable unless you carefully pick it up.

Excellent taste! If I were to give him a bouquet, definitely something to this extent.

...

What the hell am I thinking?

Advance Happy Birthday Sei-chan

 

Oh yeah! Its his 25th birthday!

Shit! I forgot!

 

from your lovely husband, Dai-sama

 

He felt the corner of his eyes twitch. He couldn't stand it. Seeing the person he loved being enthusiastic about some flowers from some man. Although he have seen another side of Masafumi, the situation didn't made him happy at all.

 

Masafumi was still inside the office looking all happy to get some flowers. His reactions were like those of a maiden's when she received it. Excited. All flustered. His eyes were even glittering, for godsake!

 

He on the other hand was: Annoyed. Irritated. Perplexed at the fact that he was not the one who can give such innocent,defense-less look on the other's face. His raging jealousy was burning in his eyes. A face who doesn't want Masafumi to see.

 

"You really liked flowers, huh?"

 

Or you like the person who gave you that flowers?

He couldn't say the next line he thought. It'll only ruin the mood.

 

Masafumi turned cause he was about to give him a reply. Ryuichiro grabbed hold of the other's chin, and aggressively pressed his lips onto the other's.

 

Not good...

Definitely not good.

[gin]

To his excitement his attitude was completely washed away.

Masafumi forgot that he was on the president's room, came back to his senses, he cleared his throat.

Looking away from the flowers he gazed at Ryuichiro to answer his question.

 

"You really liked flowers, huh?"

 

Masafumi gave him a direct reply, "No, I don't----------mmmnff."

 

A kiss was initiated by Ryuichiro, though that gave Masafumi a shock yet he accepted the kiss.

Noticing that the kiss was rough and passionate, it was hard to breathe, he rolled his eyes to Ryuichiro.

Then again he had realized that he had kissed one of the gorgeous man inside the company.

At first, he was not really happy with Ryuichiro's advances but the latter gradually made an impact to him.

Much to his dismay, the man already had a place inside his heart.

 

He love Ryuichiro-----but he don't want to admit it neither confess it.

 

Slightly casting Ryuichiro aside, he answered the question.

 

"Like I said, I don't like bouquetsExcuse me, I have matters to attend to."

 

Masafumi sighed and left the room, flustered.

He sure knows how to contradict his feelings, strange enough that he was all-excited the other moment.

Masafumi really did not like the roses but the effort Daichi gave made him in high spirits.

 

--geez what's his problem anyways, kissing me out of the blue.

[ghordge]

He watched Masafumi's back as he walk away from his room.

 

Don't like?

Is that the face of someone who doesn't like the bouquet?

That look gave you way, my love.

Bewildered by the turn of events, he went back to his chair and started reviewing the procedures that Masafumi gave him. But the scent of the roses was left lingering in his room. Giving him more headache than what he already has.

 

"Speaking of his birthday, when was it again?" he started looking at their system's database.

 

Need to keep my schedule open for this day!

I gotta think what should be the best present for him.

 

All excited for the upcoming event, he started browsing for whichever site his mouse laid on.

[gin]

Masafumi returned to his office, putting the bouquet aside, away from the prying looks of his office mates. Then again, another rumor must have started to spread the moment he went outside the president's room with a huge bouquet on his hands. The afterglow of him holding the bouquet made an impact in the whole floor he walked, its like him doing a fashion show or whatever while passing the hallway.

 

--you left without notice and you surprised me with that... Really, you're driving away my sanity.

 

His thoughts were all over his best friend---Daichi. He was gazing at the bouquet laying on his office couch.

Mafumi continued working, he could not care less about his upcoming birthday. Though he knew his parents would not remain silent about this, they always organize a party for their only son. Stroking the hair on his head , he leaned at his chair and sighed for relief.

 

He can't even focus in his work. The nil presence of Daichi still saddens Masafumi, he could not forget the moment he just disappeared from his sight without prior notice.

[ghordge]

"Daichi... I think I've heard that name before...Where was it again?"

 

He can't concentrate on his works piled so high on his desk.

He was just there staring into space, racking his brains out.

 

This happened the very first time they had sex:

 

That night they've slept together was the best sex he can remember.

 

Just looking at his teary-eyed partner almost made him cum.

Just the sound of his moans of pleasure blew away his rationality.

And just a waft of the sweet smell emanating from him made him lose his sense.

 

But he never expected the next thing to happen.

Masafumi murmured somebody else's name while making love.

 

Dai..chi... Dai...chi...Why d--did you leave me b--behind?

Were the only words he uttered while he was dead drunk.

 

To Ryuichiro's disappointment, he banged his partner until he lose consciousness.

[gin]

Masafumi went early, finishing all the documents he had to work.

He was eager to rest but the main reason was to try cooling himself.

He can't always think of seeing Daichi, he don't want his

work to be hindered by such trivial matters.

Even Ryuichiro was giving him matters that can't be casted away that easily.

All this problems and weariness are running in his head these

days that's why he needs to rest.

 

Arriving at his condo, he lazily opened the door. Shiro was there, whining, but he just stroked the dog's fluffy hair.

 

"Geez--this sucks." He complained to himself, grabbing some can of beer for a light drink.

[ghordge]

So that's him?!

Why now?

I still haven't gotten hold of Seijuro.

And now this! Ugh!

 

Anxious of the identity of this Daichi person, he circled around his room listless.

He wasn't even able to touch the documents on his desk.

 

"This is so not me!"

Although I have problems I can still finish my duties as the president.

This is quite alarming.

 

He kept on walking back and forth and wasn't even able to notice the eyes of his subordinates following his every movement.

 

Scratching his head, he gathered his work files and shove it in his bag.

Then he dashed to the car park.

 

"Argh! I'm going home.

I need to cool my head.

Or else I won't be able to finish reviewing these."

[gin]

Three weeks passed by, month of November, the eleventh day--Seijuro's day.

He was ordered to go back to the main house to spare a bit of his time for his birthday.

The maids and all other kinds of workers were busy preparing for the event.

 

"Mom, could you stop doing this extravagant parties?' Seijuro protested following his mom on the way to the reception room.

 

"Sei, birthdays are only once a year..you should spend it this way" as the lady swung open his arms in mid-air.

 

Seijuro could not argue anymore, instead, he helped his mother for the preparation.

They were expecting hundreds of visitors to make their way to join the party.

All of the invited persons are elite----CEO's, politicians, famous actors, actresses, sports icon, models and many more.

 

Masafumi then went to his bedroom and rested for a moment.

Thinking how lucky he was to have a caring and supporting family.

The party will soon commence at night, he had not yet planned about what's he going to wear.

 

The chilly breeze that entered his windows

the monochrome shade of his room...

Everything was perfectly fine

Except for one thing

the unreasonable thought of the person he loves

Who was it? The endearing remark that was then forgotten

[ghordge]

The day of his beloved's birthday finally arrived.

He was still in his condo, walking back and forth, worrying about trivial things like

whether his attire is appropriate for the event as if his appearance really matters.

He was also worried whether the gift he prepared for Masafumi will be to his liking.

 

Damn I'm finally going to meet his parents.

And going to his house, to boot!

I'm so freaking nervous! Excited?

Waaahhh! I can't take this anymore...

When I became the president I wasn't even like this.

 

Upon arriving at the venue, the guests were already swarming inside.

The picture was like taken out from a movie, where in elite people are gathered in one special occasion.

 

He entered the mansion and looked for Masafumi among the crowd.

In one glance, he found him.

He was stunning, really magnificent.

In his eyes he was shining, his muse.

And that glimmer in his eyes was breathtaking.

It's as if time stopped for him. Everything was in slow motion.

 

He noticed that he was talking to somebody.

An unfamiliar face.

 

Could he be---

[gin]

Night time arrived, the guests were inside the huge mansion. Masafumi had started entertaining them one-by-one. He had to strengthen the bonds and connections he had for some future work. Indeed he had his usual business smile., talking to different people made him took some rest. Even the ladies were bothering him, annoying as it may be, he tried to act as gentlemanly as possible.

 

He was the center of attraction, the star of the night and it's a miracle for him to be alone--but luckily he was. In the corner couch he sat, he wanted to rest for a while. Relaxing and stretching his legs, a pair of hands was on his sight and now his vision was all fading to black.

 

"Guess who's this---" he heard someone whispering to his ears.

 

From the voice itself, he immediately recognize.

 

"Daichi!" he immediately shoved the hand away and turned back, he was all excited.

 

"久しぶりね (*Hisashiburi ne), my beloved." Daichi kissed Masafumi's hands like of a gentleman greeting a maiden.

 

"Stop that, silly!" punching Daiki's gut.

 

They both laughed at their own stupid remarks. Masafumi wanted to scold him for leaving without notice but he did not since it was his birthday--he was forbidden to get angry.

 

"I'll just kill you tomorrow, so prepare yourself." he said, brows furrowed.

 

Daichi just shook his head still grinning, he could never hate his beloved. No matter how harsh the words Seijuro throws, Daichi could not get mad at him. Still the both of them were laughing at their heart's content. Suddenly, an unexpected movement soon ignite. Daichi hugged Masafumi tightly...

 

"Da---daichi???" he asked the other.

 

"You just don't know how I missed you." the other replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*long time no see.