Raison d'être

[ghordge]

Everything was in a blur except for Masafumi until that guy came into the picture.

This was the first time he'd seen Masafumi looked so relax and carefree around somebody else.

He was even laughing out loud.

 

On the other hand he just stood there

rooted on the ground watching those two as they flaunt how intimate they were.

 

The other guy put his hands on Masafumi's eyes.

 

His emotions are surfacing.

He could not bear to see any other man touching Masafumi.

He could hear the sound of a popping nerve on his head.

He could hear the cracking sound of his bones as he makes a fist.

 

He hugged Masafumi tightly...

 

CRASH!!!

 

The glass of champagne he was holding slipped from his hands.

 

Eeek!

 

And some of the guests were splashed with the champagne.

Realizing what happened, he removed his heated gaze at Masafumi

and apologized the nearest woman beside him.

 

Due to the commotion it caused, he decided to flee from that area but still not go home, since it would be rude to Masafumi's parents who were the ones who invited him, and went to a serene place in the garden.

[gin]

*CRASH

 

The sound of the broken glass echoed at the four walls of the huge reception room. Everyone remained silent and stared at the one who did it.

 

"Excuse me for a moment, Daichi." he excused himself and flee from the scene.

 

He could not waste his time, he immediately ordered a helper to clean the harmful broken pieces and apologized to the guests for the inconvenience. Masafumi escorted the lady to the visitor's room and ordered another helper to compensate for her dress. But who broke the glass? He could remember the broad shoulders of the man, he could almost recognize it just by its back--Ryuichiro. He then searched for the culprit, he wanted to talk not about the broken glass but something else...something important.

 

He searched for everywhere and his feet lured him to the balcony. There the man was leaning on the concrete wall, he completely looks devastated.

 

"Ryuichiro---huff* huff*" as he searched for air to breathe freely.

 

The man immediately looked at him, if you could look at his listless face--he's really not in the mood.

 

"If you're worried by the broken glass--don't worry I have taken care of it."

 

He tried to lift the other's spirits up though that was not the cause as to why he's sad.

[ghordge]

"Oh. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to---"

 

He remembered what he saw earlier and stopped in the middle of what he was saying. He couldn't suppress his feelings anymore. He dragged Masafumi in a darker area of the garden and enveloped him a warm embrace.

 

I don't want to say anything mean to him right now cause its his birthday.

 

Ryuichiro gave him a kiss on the forehead and breathed,

"You look beautiful tonight. Happy Birthday."

 

Masafumi, still in his arms, he whispered, "What are you doing here in the first place? You shouldn't be leaving your guests. Besides, you're the one they came here for."

[gin]

"Hey, what's wrong?"

 

He worriedly asked, it was strange for Masafumi seeing Ryuichiro acting like that.

He's bothered by something, Masafumi was even more concerned

since the other was keeping it all by himself.

He had the cue that they were supposed to kiss yet there was none.

Instead, a warm and tight hug was given to him by the president.

Masafumi was starting to feel uneasiness.

He had felt a tingling sensation in his chest.

His inability to understand Ryuichiro's feelings made him more worried.

 

"No, i'll stay here."

 

--untill you tell me what's wrong

 

He wanted to continue speaking but his bashful side prevented him to do so.

All he could do was wait for Ryuichiro to speak what's on his mind.

[ghordge]

"No, i'll stay here." echoes in his head.

 

The other sounded worried for him.

 

Like a puppy that's happy upon his master's arrival, he smiled.

A calming expression was seen on his face.

 

He slowly let go of Masafumi and knelt down with one knee.

Holding onto the other's hand he asked him:

"Since you still don't want to go back, care to have a dance with me?"

then kissed the back of his hand.

[gin]

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Masafumi burst in laughter.

 

Touching his stomach he stared at Ryuichiro who sounded that silly to ask him to dance. Both man dancing?? That was maybe the cause why Masafumi was still laughing boisterously.

 

"Idiot-- you still have the mood to dance.. " he chuckled and offered his hand to the other.

 

--I'll give you the dance.

 

At the rose garden they both danced

The rhythm of waltz resonated in their ears

Swaying both bodies momentarily

Closing each others gap slowly

Gazing at each other intensely.

The night was still long for the both of them.....

[ghordge]

Everything else was forgotten.

Its like they were the only one awake.

While the rest stood pale in comparison.

Round and round they danced in the light of the moon.

 

As the music came to a halt, both of them stood there, just staring at each other's eyes, holding on to each other.

 

"I love you."

 

For the nth time, he expressed how he feels.

What he says is the truth.

He was resolved to wait for him until he has a change of heart.

But seeing a threat lingering around...

 

He extended his hand holding out an opened tiny box. It contains an earring, and only one at that.

 

"Happy birthday Seijuro.This is my present."

 

The other looked at him questioningly.

 

"Hear is the other one." he tilted his head sideways and show him the other pair.

"I wish you could already accept me."

[gin]

"I love you."

 

--that again, he lowered his head, flustered.

 

Masafumi knew what the other was feeling for him.

Whenever Ryuichiro expresses his love, his heart could insanely skip a bit.

He knew what the other meant yet he had no plans of saying the same.

As the music halted to its harmony, Ryuichiro grabbed something out from his pocket.

A tiny box with a silver lace wrapping around it.

Opening, he saw a jewelry, but where's the other pair?

 

Ryuichiro tilted his head and showed him the other, Masafumi then knew it was like of a couple ring.

Ryuichiro wanted his reply badly, he guessed, seeing him even buying a stuff like that.

 

--i don't have a piercing. He touched his left ear and dazed for a moment.

 

"Thanks----" Masafumi smiled at the other gently.

 

Masafumi was touched by Ryuichiro's gift, he did not expect it to be like that. Everyone gave him branded shoes, clothes, jewelries--- almost everything expensive yet none of them made a great impression like Ryuichiro's. Though Daichi gave him a bouquet, but this one is simple yet he had a soothing feeling about it.

 

"i'll treasurer it---" he murmured, blushing.

[ghordge]

At his confession, Masafumi couldn’t utter a single word. He just averted his eyes which saddened him.

 

Still unable to accept me?

You could just refuse me outright if you don’t want it.

But seeing you make these reactions are making me confused.

 

All bothered by his thoughts, he cannot think straight anymore. He was really anxious of the guy he saw earlier. Once again, he remembered how intimate they were before.

 

Was he the one hindering you from opening up to me?!

 

Little by little all his doubts are bottling up, since that time he saw how happy he was upon receiving the bouquet in the office. Every day was hell for him. Worrying about petty things like what was their relationship before… Are they still seeing each other… Thoughts like this were hindering him from doing his office work with full attention.

 

But this time around, Masafumi’s silence about the matter regarding his feelings made the biggest impact on his heart. His anxiousness---rather jealousy clouded his ability to think rationally.

 

He grabbed Masafumi’s wrist aggressively and pushed him against a tree. While forcing a kiss onto the other’s slightly parted lips, he nudged Masafumi’s crotch with his knee. With one hand he pinned both of Masafumi’s hand above his head, while the other explored his chest. The other was resisting with all his might, but all his efforts were futile. He was rendered immobile by Ryuichiro.

 

In a blink of an eye, he was sent on the ground. He felt his face stinging. And as he looked at the grass below him, he saw drops of blood. He raised his head high and saw a man standing in front of him. Although he can’t see the face, from the figure he saw, he already figured out who he was.

 

Daichi !!!

 

The expression on his face changed from the excruciating pain he felt earlier to a face of an angered demon. He stood up and punched the other on the face. “Payback!” he hissed. In a split second, both of them were exchanging blows. The their sweat glitters in the light of the full moon.

[gin]

Ryuichiro looked pale, he wanted to touch the other's face just to make sure he's not running a fever or something. Yet no, he tried not to, he might cause him more confusion. The other was starting to act weird. He slammed Masafumi's body to the tree and take a hold both of the other's hand.

 

"What are you doing Ryuichiro?!!" he was confused that he tried resisting at the other.

 

Ryuichiro kissed him vehemently, he could feel the pain from his back being slammed. Forcing him was the wrong decision-- Masafumi's body was shivering. Afraid by the cold gaze of the other, he don't know who the hell was that, it was not the usual Ryuichiro anymore.

 

"mmg---stop-nngh I said stop---Ryui---ichiro."

 

HE quivered and glared at the other. Masafumi tried resisting but it was all in vain, he could not oppress Ryuichiro's inhuman strength.

 

--Not like this, I don't want it like this..... he shuddered and closed his eyes.

 

Until someone was trying to stop the other, pullling Ryuichiro away from him and gave him a punch--it was Daichi. His legs were still shaking from the moment but he tried to stop the both of them from brawling. They were like man fighting for the maiden that they love. Masafumi's now more worried seeing both of his love one fight with each other.

 

"Daichi!!! Ryuichiro!! stop it the both of you!! I'm fine, really...stop," Separating the both of them Masafumi pushed Daichi away from Ryuichiro.

 

But Daichi grabbed him forcefully, "Stay away from this Sei, I need to teach the rapist a lesson."

 

Daichi glared unto the other, he wanted another round, wiping the blood away from his mouth.

Masafumi on the other hand was spiritless, he did not know what to do anymore.

[ghordge]

Agitated by how Daichi handled Masafumi, Ryuichiro wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and pushed Daichi hard enough to fall on the ground. Seeing how dishiveled Masafumi's clothes are, he felt guilty and repentant from what he has done. He slowly approached Masafumi and reached out his arms, but the other stepped one foot backward, maintaning the distance they had.

 

Masafumi was shivering, all teary-eyed. Not once in Ryuichiro's life did he see the company's beast get scared as a child like this.

 

The almost forgotten Daichi stood from the ground and attacked Ryuichiro. He stomped on his foot and gave him another punch on the stomach. Masafumi let out a gasp in synch with Ryuichiro's moan of pain.

 

Due to the pain, Ryuichiro backed away. Far away from Masafumi. Once again, he and Daichi exchanged blows. But this time, bothered by how Masafumi reacted, he could not fight back on par anymore. And once more he was sent on the ground, with no intention on getting up right away.

 

"Let's go Sei-chan. Just leave that bastard there."

 

He practically dragged the unstable Masafumi away from the garden and went back to the mansion.

[gin]

--no more of this.....

 

He looked so drained that he could not even move a finger. Masafumi never saw that side of Daichi. The Daichi he knew was calm and rather collected, agreeing to his every whims and his crazy requests. But here now, in front of him, he was completely in rage. He wanted the both of them to stop fighting, but no one wanted to stop. He could even see the contracting and retracting of their muscles, how heavy their punches were...how the impact made them bleed and stained their suits.

 

--Ryuichiro--

 

He was grieving in pain deep down inside as he saw the President's staggering body. He could not watch anymore than that.

 

"Stop Daichi! Can you see he can't anymore fight you!!!! STOP!" slapping Daichi.

 

Raged by the other's action, Masafumi was then dragged forcefully by Daichi.

He could feel the strong grip of the other to his right hand.

 

"I'm sorry, Ryuichiro."

 

He apologized on behalf of the angry Daichi, tracing his eyes towards Ryuichiro. Masafumi wanted to help him but Daichi might cause another uproar so he decided to leave the other.

[ghordge]

Argh! Damn this day!

I was planning on making it a special birthday for him...

And now look at what I've done!

 

He was still lying on the ground. His suit was ruined, covered in blood and dirt from brawling earlier. Just staring at beautiful full moon. He lazily put his arms on his forehead pondering on the turn of events that night. He recalled how Masafumi stepped back when he reached to him. He felt pain in his chest. He just turned on his side, slowly, still without any intention of getting up.

 

Aaahh... Aw! Damn my body hurts!

 

...

 

On the other hand Daichi was pulling Masafumi into the dark place behind the mansion. His hold is getting tighter and tighter as he remembered what happened earlier. He stopped walking when Massafumi pulled back his hand releasing himself from Daichi's grasp.

 

Irritated, he enveloped his arms around Masafumi. Tightly, where in he could almost hear the other's heartbeat. Or is it his? That he doesn't know.

 

"Who is he to you? Aren't you in love with me?"

 

Masafumi only stared at him blankly as he ranted his feelings.

 

"I'm back now. You don't have to be lonely. This time around, I won't leave you anymore. And I have no intention of giving you to anyone. Especially to that bastard."

 

[gin]

Masafumi could not take Daichi's attitude any longer, he grabbed his arm back and stepped backwards. He was irritated that Daichi acted that way, much irritated that he hurted Ryuichiro.

 

"Who is he to you? Aren't you in love with me?"

 

Masafumi could not answer Daichi's sudden interrogation. He really don't want to speak anymore. He's tired of explaining himself. Masafumi wanted to leave and take a good rest, he hated the fact that he had to deal with Daichi's jealousy. The last words made him more furious.

 

"You don't own me! I may had 'loved' you but you just left me out in the blue! You don't have the right to-----" he shouted on top of his lungs.

 

Kicking with his left foot the innocent wall, he sneered to the other.

 

"--forget it." he turned his back and walked away.

 

He was still brooding about the fact that Daichi left him. He don't want to hear his silly explanations as to why he left him. Daichi was still following him around trying to force some explanations unto him yet Masafumi rejects everything.

 

--more than friends, less than lovers--- sickening.

 

His sour face gaze at the pale light brightening the vast dark sky.

His confused heart could not take non-sense..not anymore.

Shrouded by his ability to withstand oblivion

He raised his head up high--basking in the moonlight.

[ghordge]

Daichi kept on explaining himself to the other but he just walked out on him. Not even hearing a single word he said. He was giving his heart and soul put onto words but all this were thrown aside.

 

Out of impatience, he walked towards him silently, and whispered, "You will spend the entire night with me. I will take care of your body as a real man should. Tonight you will come many times as you want by my hands. And never will again, you can show your body to anybody else but me."

 

Daichi covered Masafumi's mouth as he speak those words fully saying what he intended to do.

 

Masafumi suddenly collapsed in this wicked man's arms, unconscious. He carried the other, like a princess. Up they go to Masfumi's bedroom, without anyone even noticing it. He laid Masfumi's body on the bed then lock the door shut.

 

Ravishing Masafumi inside, out. Not a single part of his body was left untouched and was left unmarked.

 

Finally deciding to leave the premises, Ryuichiro stood and arrange his clothings, fully unaware of what was currently happening to his beloved man.

 

[gin]

The talking Daichi suddenly became quiet, far from his concern what the guy was planning viciously.

 

"You will spend the entire night with me. I will take care of your body as a real man should. Tonight you will come many times as you want by my hands. And never will again, you can show your body to anybody else but me."

 

"I am not in the mood for taking your jokes.."

 

He turned his head to the other, chuckling as he believed it was a joke. Suddenly Daichi covered his mouth, he had few minutes to struggle but it was all useless. As Masafumi's consciousness faded away, he knew what's going to happen. Staring at the fuzzy image of Daichi above him, he slowly closed his eyes and whispered.

 

"Bas---ta--rd."

 

Brought to his room, there, he was debauched completely. Being held helpless by the arms of the man he once cherished. Tainted by the memory of this night, Masafumi woke up being held forcefully by a man--this time twice. He shivered and tried to stop the other in despair. How could he do this to him? Such a cruel thing to suffer. All Masafumi could do was cry for the pain he'd felt--physically, emotionally and mentally.

 

"St---topp plea---se" he begged to the other, teary-eyed.

 

Trying to push the heavy body pouncing at him. He resisted with all his might until the end, yet he was defenseless towards the other.

 

the nightmare was never-ending

his body was covered with sweat and some fluids

gazing at a space, his eyes were empty

like a doll, he stayed still---all lifeless.

 

As his tight lips tried to open---he slowly raised his trembling hands upward,

seeking for a certain man...repeatedly chanting it...

 

Ryuichiro was the name...

[ghordge]

He lie wide awake in his bed. Twisting and turning, dishiveling his beddings. For some reason he was feeling listless. He kept on pondering on what might be the things that he had fogotten. But nothing comes to mind. All he just thinks of is how to make up with Masafumi.

 

The clock was ticking. The hand strike at 4am in the morning. And in a couple more hours he would finally see Masafumi. He wished the time could pass faster than it should be. So they could make up and go back to how it used to be. Although he doesn't give him an answer, at least they could still hold on to each others warmth. And that moment they spent were his treasures for life.

 

On the other hand, Daichi was still violating his childhood friend. He perfectly knows that what he was doing was absolutely, definitely wrong. But seeing how the he affects Masafumi is what gives him the most ecstasy, he could possibly get. His tears of pain and pleasure sends him to heaven and hell, stirring up his emotions.

 

Ryu--i--chi--ro....

 

Like a demon eating his share of nutrients, he abused the other, over and over again. Those years of holding himself in check were released all at once without consideration of the other's feelings. Breaking him into a thousand pieces beyond repair.

[gin]

What was once beautiful became ugly,

what was once worthy became worthless...

 

The birds were normally chirping and the rays of the sun was casually entering Masafumi's room. The room was all messy, Daichi had succeeded raping his best friend until the morning.

 

"Remember this Sei, you're mine."

 

Daichi's deep words flowed to his head, it was like he was completely brainwashed by him. Holding the other's chin, he kissed Masafumi's cold lips again. He was completely treated as his possession, he did not even cared for the other's condition. Daichi stared coldly at the other, wearing back his clothes and preparing to leave.

 

"Dress up and eat properly, kay? I'll take my leave." he ruffled the other's hair, smiling and acting like nothing happened.

 

He leaned his face to Masafumi and whispered something to his ears.

 

"Hmmm..what else...oh be sure to stay away from that 'thing' if you don't want to get punished..bye."

 

He waved his hand and left Masafumi's room. Masafumi was there on the bed, covered with bruises from struggling and swollen hickeys all over his body. He tried to stand but he felt an unbearable pain behind his back. Seeing the sheets under his body covered with blood, he laughed hysterically.

 

--HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

His expressions were more and more twisted. A knock was heard, a maid was trying to ask about him laughing so early in the morning.

 

"Get back to your work, I'm fine." he coldly replied at the other.

[ghordge]

Nerve-wrecking. Heart-racing. Mind-boggling.

This was the worst. Wanting to see someone this badly has been a first for him.

Not once in his life did he think that waiting for that person to come was this hard.

He thought that he could just sit back and wait forever for Masafumi to return his feelings.

 

Finishing his work in a jiffy was one of the best things he could do in the company.

The worst part is the thoughts that follow when his work was done.

Although his body is physically there, sitting on that dull chair, in a dull room with a dull atmosphere, his being was wandering off into his own little world.

 

Where is he?

The day is going to end without even seeing you?

You really hated me that much for what I did?

And how am I suppose to apologize if you weren't here?

[gin]

The office workers are such a tattle tale, they had noticed that Masafumi's band-aids had multiplied. The vice-president had these round circles over his eyes and an increasing cold aura. He went back to his office, almost late for work, he started his daily round.

 

"Here are the documents that you've requested." the hr manager offered.

 

Scanning, he soothed his furrowing brows, still having the worst headache. He shrugged his shoulders, showing his great disappointment.

 

"Sayako-san for how long have you been the company's hr manager yet you could not do your task properly?!" he coldly stared at the worried hr manager. He was more deviant compared before, much cruel than ever.

 

"But sir, that's-------" she was cut-short by Masafumi.

 

"No but's! If you wanted your job intact, rewrite this!!" he pressed his index finger on the folder.

 

"Leave." in a low yet heavy tone he commanded.

 

The poor manager just left his office, looking back at Masafumi angrily. Masafumi closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He himself did not even noticed that he had said too much. He then resumed to his work...

[ghordge]

Hearing his subordinates' buzzes from right outside his office, he instantly knew that Seijuro arrived.

Slipping from his room, he headed straight to his VP's office.

 

Honestly, him going to Seijuro's office was perfectly NORMAL to his subordinates.

And not a single soul suspected his true intentions on being there,

well of course his best friend was an exemption.

He just stopped popping in and out of there when the leakage issue was on.

 

When he opened the door, he saw his VP busy doing his own job.

He was checking their sales reports that his head was literally buried onto the screen of his PC.

He just received a grumpy what-do-still-want groan from the other.

 

He took a deep breath before saying his motive upon coming to this room. And bowing down his head, he swallowed his pride, as if there are still any left, and say the words he was practicing all night long.

 

"I apologize for my misbehavior last night.

Please slap me, kick me, hurt me.

Do anything with me just to appease your anger."

[gin]

He saw his boss standing in front of him, bowing.

 

"I apologize for my misbehavior last night.

Please slap me, kick me, hurt me.

Do anything with me just to appease you anger."

 

"Pres. Are you in that kind of stuff?? Naah it's fine, I was just surprised that you did show me your kinky side," he tried to pull a joke.

 

He tried to stay calm as possible. He would occasionally gaze at Ryuichiro while he was still busy with the reports. Stealing a glance he decided to take some action--he could not wait in the sidelines any longer.

 

--Now what will it be--Daichi?? Unfortunately you can't tame a lion, I daresay.

 

Sneering, the pc screen reflected at his eyeglasses. He had decided to stop Daichi's insanity, he don't want to be the damsel in distress--not anymore. Fight him like a man, if he wanted an enemy then so be it.

 

"So what do you want from me? Aside from that." tapping the keys he calmly stated.

[ghordge]

Still not lifting his head because of embarrassment, his face was beet red.

 

Huh?! This isn't the usual Seijuro.

I should be getting spanked right now.

Or kicked on my balls!

Or ... Argh! Anything!!

 

Slowly he lift his head and gazed at the person behind the monitor.

For a few seconds he just stood there staring blankly at the head behind the screen.

 

 

"So what do you want from me? Aside from that."

 

 

Unable to resist his heart's whisper of uneasiness, he walked towards the other.

The sound of the tapping of keys filled the silent room.

 

He stopped right in front of Seijuro and slammed his hand on the table.

Due to the great impact, the pen holder of Masafumi stumbled leaving everything on it rolling in all directions.

 

His repentant face that he struggled on perfecting the night before they see again was suddenly overpowered by his rage. Not only the bruises and scratches he also noticed those hickeys flaunting themselves right above his neckline.

 

He wanted to caress the beaten face of his beloved...

He wanted to show him how he loved the other through his touch...

He wanted to envelope him in his loving arms...

He wanted to savor those sweet lips of his now covered in cuts...

All he just ever wanted is to be this man's most important person...

 

He extended his arms but recoiled it instead, remembering the image of how scared Masafumi is after what happened last night.

[gin]

Ryuichiro's gaze was piercing right through him. Though he was not closely paying attention towards the other, he could feel that Ryuichiro was still firmly looking at him. Trying to evade the stare, he noticed that the other was looking at his neckline. He had recalled that he had hickey's all over there. Masafumi immediately covered the evidence, wishing that Ryuichiro did not noticed it.

 

"You're really doing some great achievement there.. " He said sarcastically, almost done with his paper works.

 

Stretching his arms , his work was over. The other had a bizarre expression on his face so he decided to invite him for a coffee.

 

"Hmm coffee perhaps?" He pointed his thumb down.

 

He wanted to cheer the other at least--by all means.

 

[ghordge]

BASTARD!!!

Damn that guy!

Just how did he treated you last night???!!!

SHIT!!!

 

Masafumi just brushed him off by asking:

 

"Hmm coffee perhaps?"

 

Obsessed by his own thoughts, he was unable to comprehend what the other said and answered,

 

"Huh?! Ah... Yeah.. sure... "

 

They went out of the room and together walked down towards the cafeteria. Both of them were silent, wary of each other's reactions.

 

"How a bout we get something to eat from the nearby cafe? You know, just to get some fresh air."